//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Who's the Boss? // Story: Chaos Next Door // by Sketchy Changeling //------------------------------// “You gotta be fucking kidding me!” Eric thought in a panic. “Please let this be a joke! There’s no way that Discord would even apply for a job, let alone get one!” Hoping for this to be one huge prank, he rushed into the store, where Discord was still standing. “What are you doing here!?” he asked him. “Oh, hi, Eric,” said Print Stock “You know this fella?” “Know me?” said Discord. “I’m his neighbor!” “Really?” asked Print. “You never mentioned that Discord was your neighbor Eric,” “Yes, and for good reason,” he thought. “Must have slipped my mind,” he said. “Say, Discord. Can I talk to you outside for a second?” “Sure, buddy!” he said, making Eric’s eye twitch. One the two of them were outside, Eric proceeded to go off on Discord. “What the hell are you doing here, Discord!?” he asked angrily. “Well, I was thinking about what you and Celestia are always telling me, and I decided that you guys were right; I should get a job,” he explained. “Did it have to be at the same place I work?” asked Eric. “I just wanted a chance for us to get to know each other better so we can be on better terms,” said the draconequus. “You and I both know that that is complete bullshit!” said the human. “You just want to mess with me some more!” “Well, that’s partly true,” Discord admitted with a chuckle. “It is rather fun. However, the main reason is to have some extra bits and to get Tia off my case for a while. Messing with you is just a perk.” Eric was on the verge of exploding. He looked around the immediate area for an object he could use to kill himself, or more preferably, Discord. He thought his situation was hopeless, but then he realized something there was a silver lining to this. “Too bad you won’t be able to mess with me, Discord,” he said with a smirk. “Oh? And why is that?” the lord of chaos asked returning the smirk. “Check the shirt,” the human said. “I’m assistant manager, which means I have the power to fire you if I want to. Step out of line even once, and I’ll kick your ass to the curb!” Discord’s eyes shrunk when Eric’s words finally sunk in. No job meant no money, and no reprieve from Celestia’s incessant complaining. “Shit, I didn’t even think of that,” he said. “That’s right,” said Eric. “As long as you’re working here, you’re my bitch.” The draconequus grumbled under his breath, and finally complied with his new superior. “Fine,” he said. That afternoon, Eric left for lunch while Discord took a bathroom break so he wouldn’t be followed. On his way to the diner, he felt pretty happy about his new situation. While Discord may be working at the bookstore now, he had power over him, power that he could take advantage of as much as he’d like to, within reason, of course. His thoughts were interrupted by somepony sneaking up behind him and covering his eyes. “Guess who!” they said. “Mommy?” he joked. “Very funny. Guess again.” “I know it’s you, Luna,” said Eric. “I recognized your voice.” “Well, it was fun while it lasted,” the princess said as she removed her hands from her friend’s face. “So, how have you been? Azure Gem told me that you were promoted to Assistant Manager.” “I’m great!” he said enthusiastically. “Azzy also told me that she wanted the three of us to celebrate this Saturday,” she said. “So, I’m going to hook you in.” “Hook me up,” he corrected, “and how so?” “Well, I can just say that I won’t be able to make it this Saturday, and I’ll insist that you and Azzy go ahead and celebrate without me,” Luna explained. “That way, you two can spend some alone time.” “What would be the point?” Eric asked. “The point would be to get you closer to your crush. I’m playing pairmaker,” she said. “Playing matchmaker,” he corrected, “and don’t. I don’t have feelings for Azure.” “Yes you do,” the princess insisted. “You just can’t admit it to yourself.” “I’m not sure how I feel about her.” “Well, this is the perfect chance to find out! If you feel something, then great! If not, no harm done.” “Alright, alright, I’ll go along with this,” Eric conceded. “But only because I know I won’t be able to change your mind.” “Good choice,” Luna said with a victorious smile. She then looked ahead of her and saw a familiar mare at the usual lunch spot. “Oh look! There’s Azure!” she said. “What’s up, guys?” said Azure as her friends approached her. “Not much,” Eric said as the three of them got seated. “You sure you won’t be able to make it Saturday, Lulu?” asked the unicorn. “I’m sorry, you guys,” said the princess. “I’m going to be marshed with paperwork this weekend.” “Swamped with paperwork,” Eric corrected. “Well, if you can’t go, you can’t go. At least Eric and I will be able to celebrate,” said Azure Gem. “Oh, by the way, Eric. I saw Discord at the bookstore. What’s that about?” “Oh yeah,” he said lamentingly. “He’s gonna be working there now.” “Well, that’s unfortunate,” said Luna. “I know this sounds crazy coming from me, but it’s not all that bad,” Eric admitted. “How so?” asked Azure. “Well, since I’m Assistant Manager, I have the power to fire him,” he explained. “So, if he messes up, it’s his ass.” “That’s pretty advantageous of you,” said the unicorn. “The guy’s been getting on my nerves for a year. It’s time I got a chance at payback,” Eric said. “He does have a point when you put it that way…” said Luna. “I guess…” said Azure. “Things are starting to look up,” said the human. “Well, despite your complications with Discord, would you say that you’ve enjoyed your first year in Canterlot, Eric?” asked the princess. “I love it here, Lulu,” he answered. “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t met you.” “How did you two meet, anyway?” Azure asked. “Oh, it’s a great story, Azzy!” Luna said excitedly. “I was vacationing in the human world with Celestia for a few weeks. New York City I think it was called. One day, I decided to out into the city by myself. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea, considering that it was my first time in the human world and Celestia was more knowledgeable about it than I was. True, I could have easily called her and told her that I was lost, but she’d never let me live it down. Luckily, Eric noticed me as I was walking around and decided to help me. He said that he could tell when somebody, or in my case, somepony was new to the city, and he offered to be my escort.” “I never said ‘escort’,” Eric interrupted. “I wasn’t that formal.” “Just let me tell the story,” Luna said, waving a hand, then she turned back to Azure. “As I was saying, Eric showed me around the city and even showed me Times Square. When we stopped for something to eat, I noticed the book he was carrying around with him. He told me that it was where he wrote his stories, and I asked to take a peek. After commending him for his skill, he told me that it was getting harder and harder to find inspiration, and that’s when I suggested the idea of relocating to Equestria. He thought it was a crazy idea at first, but he was unaware of my status as a princess.” “You didn’t know that Luna was a princess, Eric?” Azure asked incredulously. “Like she said earlier,” he said. “Up until then, only Celestia made appearances in the human world. At the time, she was the only princess from this world that I knew of.” “Stop interrupting!” Luna said, getting annoyed. “Anyway, I told Eric that I could get him a house in Canterlot as compensation for his hospitality. He thought that it was unnecessary, but I insisted. Since he was kind enough to guide me around his world, it was only fair that I let him experience mine.” “And that’s how Eric and I met,” Luna said, finishing her story. “Interesting,” said Azure Gem. “You’re quite the gentleman, Eric.” “Well, I wouldn’t say that…” he said with a blush. “So, back on the topic of Eric’s promotion celebration,” the princess said, quickly changing the subject, “I think you two should go to the movies! There’s this new comedy that’s supposed to be out by then. I went to a pre-screening the other day, and it was hilarious!” “Sounds good to me,” said the unicorn. “What do you say, Eric?” “I’m all for it, Az,” he said with a smile. He then looked at Luna, who throws a wink at him, and he blushes. Over the course of the week, Eric kept a close eye on Discord while at work. He didn’t plan on being that asshole boss that you fire you for any old reason, but he had no problem making the draconequus think that he was. Eric just needed to watch his every move and give him the occasional “I’m watching you” sign, to get it into Discord’s head. He wasn’t going to deny it; it felt good messing with Discord instead of having it be the other way around. He even chuckled when Discord shelved a book upside down, then went into a mini-panic trying to shelve it properly before anyone noticed. By the end of the week, the embodiment of chaos was run ragged. As the two neighbors walked home from work on Friday, the day before Eric’s outing (as he called it) with Azure Gem, Discord decided to strike up a conversation for the sake of livening up the walk. “Do you enjoy tormenting me at work?” he asked. “Do you enjoy tormenting me every other time?” Eric retorted. “It doesn’t feel good to be the one on the other end of the situation, does it?” “I have no comment,” Discord said, not wanting to admit that the human was right. If it was one thing that these two had in common, it was that they couldn’t admit when they were wrong. As Eric approached his front door, he noticed that Discord didn’t follow him. Instead, he went to his own house, back hunched over in exhaustion. The human couldn’t help but chuckle. The guy was so worn out from work that he wasn’t even in the mood for one of his chaos sessions. “This is even better than I thought,” Eric thought. “He’s practically under my thumb at this point.” He happily walked into his chaos-free house and changed out of his work shirt. “Now I get to do something that I haven’t gotten to do in a while,” he said to himself as he walked down the stairs to his basement. “Writing!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, maybe a bit too enthusiastically, but he couldn’t help himself. For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. Without Discord bothering him, he could actually relax in his own home. Unfortunately, while Eric did have the draconequus’s antics under control during the weekdays, there was one thing that he overlooked: The weekend. On Saturday morning, Eric cooked himself a nice breakfast, waffles and all, and sat at his living room table watching TV. “This is shaping up to be a great morning so far,” he said to himself, only for his peace and quiet to be interrupted by- “Knock, knock!” Discord said as he appeared on Eric’s TV “I spoke too soon,” he said. “This morning is no longer great.” “Au contraire, Eric,” said the draconequus as he pulled up a weather chart. “As you can see, it’s going to be warm and sunny all morning long. Not only that, but we’ll be expecting nice weather all weekend!” “I’d trust the actual weather pony before I’d trust you,” the human stated bluntly. “This is very accurate data here, Eric,” Discord argued. “Sure it is,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Oh, while I’m here,” Discord said as he climbed out of the television, “do you have anything to eat?” Since there was little chance of his neighbor leaving, Eric allowed him to get something to eat. “Just don’t touch my waffles, okay?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won’t touch your precious waffles,” Discord said as he walked to the kitchen. “I got a stomachache last time I took some.” “You don’t think that might have had something to do with how many you ate?” “Nope, it was definitely your waffles.” At around three in the afternoon, Discord finally left Eric’s house, which gave Eric ample time to prepare for the movie with Azure Gem. He looked into his closet to see what he could wear. “Hmm… I don’t want to look too formal, but I don’t want to look like I just threw something on at the last minute. Maybe something that says ‘I’m going somewhere nice, but only with a friend that happens to be of the opposite sex’? Ugh, listen to me. I sound like that designer from Ponyville that everyone talks about. What’s her name again? Rari-something?” Eric shook his head. “Ah, that’s not important. Why am I even putting so much consideration into this? I’m just going out with a friend.” He stood silently for a second and finally made a decision. “Okay, a button-up shirt and jeans with sneakers, and maybe one spritz of cologne. Yeah, that should do it.” Eric looked at the clock and saw that it was ten after three. He and Azure planned on catching the movie at five thirty then go out for dinner. “Okay, I can leave to pick up Az at five, then we can catch a taxi carriage to the theater. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.” At quarter to five, Eric was dressed and ready to leave for Azure’s house. As he left, he decided to take that one spritz of cologne. He set off to pick up his “companion” for the night, unaware that someone was watching him from out of their window? “Hmm… I wonder where he’s headed off to,” Discord said to himself.