"So, what do I have to do?" Luke asked, holding a book upside down as Twilight explained. He stopped paying attention at random intervals, causing what he heard to be a random collection of words.
"Magic, horn, book, spell, read, dragon, ok?" is all he heard.
"WOAH, a dragon?"
"Yes, I just told you about him, twelve times."
"Sorry, I zoned out."
Twilight sighed. "OK, I'll explain from the start."
He didn't pay attention to any word she said for several minutes, he was more intent on figuring out this foreign language in the book he was reading. He didn't understand why the ponies were walking on the sky in the pictures.
"If you do anything wrong, it may explode and kill us." Twilight said. It was the only thing Luke heard.
"Oh, umm, can you do it first then? You know, show me what to do?"
"You weren't paying attention again were you?"
"Was it really that obvious?"
"Considering I said why I can't show you twice, quite obvious."
"I suppose you're going to explain it all over again huh?"
"Yup."
Luke sighed and gave up on the book. "Might as well listen this time." he said quietly.
***
"So, what are we going to do?" Jodi asked Fred.
"I don't know, maybe we, go to a fancy restaurant, eat some food, maybe kiss." Fred said.
"How about no."
"It was worth a shot."
"No it wasn't."
"You say what you want, but I still am making slow progress."
"Sure you are."
"You know it's true, don't deny it."
"Um, excuse me?" a quiet voice said a few feet away from the two.
"What?" Jodi asked politely.
"Um, my animals, escaped, and I was wondering, if you would, help, me, if that's ok with you." a pegasus said nervously.
"Sure, what kind of animals."
"A few birds, and bunnies. One rabbit and two turtles. Several bugs. Oh, and a giant bear."
"I'll get the birds and everything else if you get the bear." Jodi said to Luke.
"Aww, why do I get the bear?" Luke complained.
"Because, you're a tough guy, and you want to impress me with your strength and take down a big strong bear, maybe it will be enough to make me be impressed and go out with you." Jodi flicked her tail in his face.
"Ugg fine, where did they go miss. Miss, misses?" Luke continued to guess the ponies name.
"Fluttershy." she said quietly. "And the bear went that way, the other animals kind of stayed in a group and went over there."
Jodi flew off after the birds and other cute cuddly animals. Luke ran off to the bear. Fluttershy didn't know what else to do, so she followed Jodi.
"See girls, this is why I took you for a walk, so we could see my friends fail at life, and Jodi, be, herself." I said to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Is Jodi your marefriend? OOOOOH!" Scootaloo said childishly. Of course, she did have a reason.
"No, I wish."
"Joe and Jodi sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Sweetie Belle said.
"This is why I don't have kids. That, and the fact I'm too young." I said.
"Is Luke really that stupid or was he just acting?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Sadly, he is that dumb."
"What about Fred, is he really that stupid, OH, can we watch him wrestle the bear?" Scootaloo asked.
"Sure, we blew off the rest of Rarity's rules, so why not break the last one?" I looked at the list of rules and read the last one out loud. "No letting Sweetie Belle watch one of your friends risk there lives wrestling a runaway bear that Fluttershy owns, especially if the rest of the CMC are there. Pretty specific rule."
"Well, the last rule on the list is always a joke rule. She just does it so we can have a quick laugh if we get bored." Sweetie Belle said.
"Well, I guess it worked." I laughed lightly as we followed Fred.
***
"Here Beary Beary Beary." Fred said.
The CMC giggled.
"Shh, don't let him know that we're following him." I said as quiet as I could.
"Come here you stupid bear. AHA!" He stuck his face to the ground and started following the bear tracks he found.
"Hey girls, watch this." I took a pudding cup from the bag I was carrying in case anybody got hungry. I opened the cup and took a glob of pudding in my hoof. I flung it onto the path far ahead of Fred, who still had his head down.
"Where are you? Just come out already. OH DEAR GOD!" He shouted. "Get it off get it off get it off!" he screamed, trying to wipe the pudding off his snout.
The CMC and I had trouble controlling our laughter, if he hadn't screamed so loud and girlish, he probably would've heard us.
"EW EW EW EW EW EW EW! BEAR POOP!" He ran around in circles. He stopped suddenly and poked at it. "Pudding?"
I instantly stopped laughing and covered two of the fillies' mouths. The last got the memo and stopped. I ducked down to hide. They were short enough so they didn't have to duck though.
"Who did that?" Fred asked.
"That was close." I whispered, the CMC agreed silently. I poked my head up and watched Fred.
Fred looked around. He decided to head back. He turned around and took a step to town. He got a face full of fur.
"Ok girls, it's wrestling time." I said as I parted the bushes so they could see.
"Hi there, Mr. Bear." Fred gulped.
The bear roared loudly.
"Dear God, I'm sorry for everything I have done in my life. I was only mean to my friends to get them ready for the real world, which would be worse then me, and that guy I killed. I was just really mad. I swear if I make it through here, I'll do lots of good things and never anything bad ever again." Fred said quickly as if they were his last words.
The bear rolled onto his stomach and panted like a dog, as if it wanted a belly rub.
"Well that was anticlimactic." Scootaloo said.
"Every time I promise to do something good." Fred said under his breath. He waited a few seconds then reluctantly scratched the bear's stomach. "So, I guess I have to take you back to, wherever, you're from."
I walked out of the bush with the CMC in tow. "Fluttershy's cottage is that way." I said pointing down the lightly trodden trail.
"Where did you come from?"
"The stork, but my health teacher has a different theory."
"Dude we already passed that class, you know he's right."
"Yeah, but I got these little kids. I don't want to scar them for life." I said gesturing to the CMC.
"I see. So, you going to help me drag this heavy beast over to her cottage?" Fred glanced at the bear which was now asleep.
"No, sorry, I can't do it. I have to take care of these three."
"Why do I always get the hard job?" he asked as he grabbed the bear and tried to move it.
"So girls, should we go see what Jodi is doing?" I asked the CMC.
"YEAH!" They said simultaneously.
"I hate you." Fred said.
I laughed at him as I left him with the slumbering giant.
***
"Ok Fluttershy, I got four birds, one rabbit, two turtles, and ten bugs. Am I missing any animals?" Jodi asked.
"My hamster." Fluttershy said, pointing at a small rodent hiding in a hole in a tree.
Jodi reached for it, but it retreated back into the tree, too far for her to reach. "He doesn't like me."
"I'll help!" Scootaloo darted to the tree and stuck a hoof in the hole. She was small enough that she could go in the hole when the hamster backed up. "Here you go." she said, handing it to Fluttershy.
"Thank you Scootaloo." Fluttershy said with a smile.
"You're welcome." Scootaloo said back.
"Yeah, thanks, Scootaloo." Jodi said hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure about the orange filly's name.
Fluttershy watched as Scootaloo ran back to me and her friends, then she made a high pitched, barely audible, 'eep'. She ran away and hid behind the tree the hamster was in. The hamster hugged her hoof.
"Hey Jodi." I said.
"Joe, were you watching me as I struggled to get these things?"
"No, I just arrived."
"Well, can you help me?" she struggled to hold all the animals with her.
"Sure." I took some of the animals and several bugs in one hoof. "So, we going to take these to your cottage Fluttershy?" I asked the cowering figure as I gave each CMC an animal.
"H-how do you k-know my name?" she asked.
"Jodi just told me." I lied quickly. I knew she would be freaked out if I said something like I'm from an alternate universe where people watch you for hours on end walk around naked.
"Oh, what's your name?" she asked, leaving her cover of the tree.
"I'm Joe." I said.
Fluttershy walked up to me and shook my hoof. She looked up into my eyes and smiled. My shadow covered her face so I couldn't see well, but I'm pretty sure her smile wasn't the average 'Hey I just met you and this isn't crazy but there's no affection between us whatsoever, just friends' look.
"So, umm, I'm just going to take these animals to your house now." I said when she didn't let go of my hoof or break eye contact for several seconds.
"Ok." she said. She backed up and looked at the hamster that was now resting on her back. Jodi, Fluttershy, the CMC, and I started walking to Fluttershy's house. The CMC talked the whole way there, I had to laugh at their guesses of how the stork brings the baby if the baby is in the mother's stomach.
"Ok Fluttershy, all your animals are here and safe again." Jodi said after we dropped the animals off at the small house.
"Yeah, thanks guys for helping with the bear." Fred said, exhausted. The bear walked up to him. "Oh sure, NOW you're awake."
I laughed at his misfortune then looked at the sun, it was starting to set. "I should probably take the girls back now." I said.
"All right, and I'll save you a cloud next to mine." Jodi said, then she flew off.
"And I suppose I'd better start digging a hole in the dirt." Fred said.
"Why would you do that?" Fluttershy asked him.
"I am not staying at that motel again."
"Why not?"
"I didn't have any money, and the guy-"
I interrupted him. "You don't want to know how he payed."
"Ok, well, you could stay here tonight." Fluttershy suggested.
"Lucky." I whispered in Fred's ear. Then I left to return the CMC to their houses.