//------------------------------//
// A Timely Interlude 
// Story: Princess Twilight Sparkle's 505th Birthday 
// by Autumnschild 
//------------------------------//


~Meanwhile~


 

Discord sat in his favorite chair, a roiling bed of live corgis wrapped in red satin, as he listened his past self ramble on.
 
“So you’re me.”
 
“Yes.”
 
“From the future.”
 
Discord sighed, “Again, yes. Look, we’ve got an appointment to keep, can we skip to the part where I believe me?”
 
Past Discord, floated upside down in the air before his future self, rubbing his temples. “But how is that even possible? I’ve never traveled through time before. How did you do it?”
 
He got up to his mismatched feet and snapped a claw. The corgi recliner winked out of existence with a bark, and he walked over to face himself, stopping only a few inches from his own beady eyes.
 
“I’ll get to the how in a moment. For now let’s talk about the why. I’m here,” he paused to poke his upside down double in the chest with a claw. “Because I… or rather, you, are it.”
 
“I’m it? As in…  Tag, you’re it, I’m it?” past Discord tagged his future doppelganger right back. “Well now, you’re it.”
 
Future Discord groaned and the pocket dimension they were in sagged with his agitation.
 
Past Discord didn’t care for the serious look that washed across the other’s face. He knew enough about himself to know that a serious Discord was a danger to himself. When he was serious he had a tendency to get all… redeemed-villain-turned-heroish.
 
Future Discord turned away from him and clapped his hands together. On the second clap, the lights dimmed and the sound of a reel-to-reel projector started up behind him. A screen popped into existence and the two Discords watched this morning’s events play out.
 
They watched the scene unfold, as Discord stood in the ruined foyer of the old Sun Tower. He already had two holes in his chest. They watched as he pulled a pink water gun out of his vest and aimed it at the Beacon. The three girls were huddled in fear just behind him.
 
Future Discord waved a hand at the screen. “Do I remember this?”
 
“Of course I do, that just happened an hour ago. Those beams didn’t hit me in the head after all.”
 
The Discord on the screen started talking, and they turned to watch. “I’m warning you!” The image on the screen said as he primed the pump on his pink watergun. “This baby will shoot up to 50 feet and the water in here is really cold. Ice cold, even. So you bette—“
 
There was a zap, and the Discord on the screen now had a third hole to match the holes in Past Discord. Future Discord summoned a remote control out of the air and paused the playback. The image on the screen was of Discord’s face, a flash of panic frozen for the two to see.
 
Future Discord clapped again, and the dim lights of the pocket dimension brightened considerably. Past Discord shivered as the temperature dropped and a cloying fog rolled in from all directions.
 
Past Discord stood there, scratching his chin. “So… this is about the Beacon of Order.”
 
His future self nodded and began to walk out into the fog. He beckoned his duplicate to follow.
 
Past Discord huffed, and moved to jog ahead of the other. Passing him, he spun around and pointed an accusing claw in his face. “Oh, come off it. That Beacon’s not such a big deal. Why the gloom? Why the cold? With the two of us, I’m sure we can take him. Here, have a hot cocoa and let’s talk about all this before you walk off in a huff.”
 
Discord summoned a small pink cloud out of the ether and a cup fell out of it. The cloud then released it’s hot, chocolatey contents into the cup before poofing out of existence. He handed it to his compatriot, who smirked as he took the proffered cup. He took a sip and his smirk became a foul grimace.
 
“This tastes awful.”
 
Past Discord wiped the sweat from his brow and heaved a sigh. He was out of breath. His hot chocolate spell always cheered him up. Was it really awful? He tried to summon a second cup to taste for himself.
 
Try as he might, with the whole of his magical might, all he was able to summon was a shot glass of warm skim milk. Panting with frustrated fatigue, he frowned mightily. “Okay, maybe the Beacon’s attacks took more out of me than I was willing to admit. But I’ll recover with time on my own, right?”

Future Discord moved around the still glowering draconequus and continued to make his way into the fog. Calling out over his shoulder, he added “You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can’t lie to me.”
 
Past Discord opened his mouth to offer a witty retort, but a cup of foul, vaguely chocolate flavored liquid soared through the air and hit him in the snout.
 
“Come on, me, there’s something I have to show you before I go.”
 
Spitting out the last of that awful drink, he sulked as he marched forward. As he walked, he noticed the ground change beneath him. What at first felt like sand or snowy cloud, now felt like cobbled streets, like those in Canterlot.
 
His brow furrowed as he continued to walk. The pocket dimension he was in was starting to feel less… manufactured. There were the tell tail signs of reality sneaking in. The chirp of birds, the breeze, the feeling of normalized gravity. They were all there. But that couldn’t be.
 
He’d never been able to simply walk out of a pocket dimension before. He’s always had to teleport his way between them. That was the whole point of pocket dimensions! They weren’t just rooms in the real world that you could walk between. They were on different planes of existence!
 
Flummoxed as he was by this apparent impossibility, he didn’t’ see the white pony he walked into until he had already walked into her.
 
“Hey lady, watch where you’re…”
 
The pony, like a life sized statue, fell over with a meaty thud, and he stepped back in alarm. When the pony made no effort to get up, he moved closer to get a better look.
 
He was right in his initial thought that it was a mare, but everything after that had been wrong. She wasn’t white, she was brown. She was just very pale. He recognized this little pony.

 As pale as the fog that coiled around him. He watched as the mare took shallow breaths, and he felt for a pulse. It was there, but very weak.
 
Her limbs and muscles were locked in the standing position, even she laid there on her side. Her milky-white eyes staring straight forward, a hint of gold in her irises. Although the young mare had a calm look on her face it was unnerving considering the situation.
 
“Are you okay?” asked Discord. There was no answer, only her shallow breathing.
 
 Discord rolled his eyes and strained to pick up little the pony. “Up we go.” He said as he tucked her under the crook of his left arm. Once again he walked forward into the fog.
 
As he walked, the fog around him began to dissipate ever so slightly, and he could make out the forms of even more ponies. Each and every pony stood rigid, breathing ever so slightly.
 
What confused him the most was how they all appeared to have been doing something before they all decided to stand there, being all rude and silent. He came across several sets of ponies that had clearly been fighting against each other, what with the pie remnants and magical scorch marks that peppered the ground and walls around him.
 
Absent mindedly, he found himself petting the wavy red mane of the pony he held under his arm in an attempt to relieve himself of his new found apprehension. Apprehension he acquired when he realized he was standing in the Grand Central Plaza of Canterlot, South of the castle itself.
 
The plaza was filled with hundreds of ponies, each one standing with that serene look on their faces as they each stared straight ahead. Standing in front of a pale herd of ponies, stood his future self, a look of shame in his eyes.
 
“What… what is this?”
 
“This is the reality of my world. Three days from your time.”
 
 “Three days? This happened in three days?”
 
Future Discord started to nod, but corrected himself. “Actually, it’s been like this since… oh say mid afternoon on the first day.
 
“Is… is it like this everywhere?”
 
Again, future Discord nodded.
 
“So the Beacon of Order wins?”
 
“Mostly.”
 
Past Discord stopped petting his pony and screwed his eyes up in frustration at his unhelpful future self. “What do you mean mostly?”
 
“Well he didn’t kill me. So, you know, I’ve got that going. Which is nice.”
 
“How did you escape?”
 
“Magic.”
 
“Ah.”
 
The two were silent for a few moments. Or hours. Really, the only way to track time was the steady breathing of ponies that surrounded them. And if he was being honest with himself, Discord thought that focusing on that collective sound was more than a little unnerving.
 
“So, why did you bring me here?”
 
His future self sighed and offered a sad smile. “The same reason my future self visited me three days ago.” He pointed beyond the ponies before them and farther into the courtyard. “Go talk to them.”
 
“Them?” he asked with no small amount of trepidation.
 
“Them. Go on, I’ll be waiting for me here. Oh, and if they ask me how I got here, play dumb.”
 
“Bu-wha? Got here? Who’s going to—“
 
“Good job, just like that, now go! I don’t have much time left here.” He shoved his past self towards his destination in the center of the court yard.
 
Uneasily, Discord made his way through the pale ponies and ahead to meet his fate. As he walked, the fog gave way above him, and he was able to see the dull gray sky above. He cursed under his breath as he saw the unmoving solar eclipse.
 
“Discord? Is that you?”
 
He stopped in his tracks and looked towards the familiar voice that called out to him. He dropped his pony. Before him, trapped in two identical crystalline pillars, were Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
 
“Celestia? Luna?”
 
The pillars jutted out of the ground as if they had spawned from beneath their hooves. The crystal structures wrapped around the two goddesses to contain them and prevent them from so much as moving. Only their heads and necks were exposed. Each wore a crown of the same jagged crystal that snaked its way up around their horns, robbing them of their magic.
 
Their bloodshot eyes and the damp, salty streaks that matted the otherwise soft fur that ran down from their eyes revealed much to the God of Chaos.
 
“What. What happened?”
 
“What do you mean, what happened?” asked Luna gruffly. “You were there, were you not? We revealed ourselves after the Beacon of Order corrupted Twilight Sparkle.”
 
Luna swung her neck to indicate beyond her shoulder, and sure enough, standing just a rigid as the other ponies, was Princess Twilight Sparkle in her ancient war armor. Her skin was a pale purple, and her breathing was even and measured. Her unblinking eyes stared ahead into the crystalline prisons of her betters.
 
Though her face was twisted into the same false serenity as the rest of the ponies, it was clear to Discord that she was crying.
 
Curtly, Luna finished her statement. “It used her magic to trap us.”
 
“Then it killed you,” said Celestia, numbly. “We watched as it hit you with every other unicorn and Alicorn here. Cadence, Twilight, and Rarity included. How did you survive?”
 
“Uh… magic?” offer Discord weakly. Changing the subject, he asked “Where is the Beacon now?”
 
Luna turned her head to the left and spat, hitting an inert piece of crystal a few yards away. “After it completed its objective, the termination spell in its cortex activated. Now it’s just another ugly rock.”
 
With fresh tears, she turned to her sister, who she could only see out of the corner of her eye. “Oh Tia, why did we ever make that damnable thing? Why didn’t we destroy it when we had the chance?”
 
Luna continued to bluster and rage in her clear prison, begging question and answer alike from her royal sister. Celestia simply weathered the tirade as best she could, beyond the occasional flash of emotion that played across her face, she stood unmoved.
 
As the Princess of the Night continued bemoaning their shared fate, Discord picked up a rock and walked over to Celestia’s prison. When he reached her, he started to chip away at her crystal cage.
 
“What are you doing?” asked the immortal Sun Goddess.
 
“I’m freeing you, what’s it look like I’m doing?”
 
“Why not use your magic?”
 
Discord pulled away and focused his magic into his free paw. The air around it sputtered and fizzed, but nothing else came of it.
 
“That was supposed to make a deck of cards. I got nothing. Why don’t you use your magic?”
 
Luna was first to answer. “The Beacon drained us of most of our magic before imprisoning us. It’ll be a week before our powers are restored. By then, our little ponies will die of starvation or dehydration.”
 
Celestia’s voice cracked in desperation. “And we’ll have no choice but to watch it happen.”
 
Nothing else needed to be said. Discord returned to chipping away at the crystal with his rock. Save for the constant sounds of rock against crystal and the breathing of the ponies, the world was silent.
 
Time passed before Celestia spoke again. “Discord, stop.”
 
The draconequus froze in mid swing and lowered his arm. He looked at his clawed hand, red and raw from effort, and then he looked at the undamaged crystal. He hadn’t even scuffed it’s clear finish. 

He let loose a guttural roar of frustration and threw the rock off into the fog. A pane of glass broke in the distance.
 
“And this is where I come in.” The three gods turned as one to address the new voice in the fog. A moment later, and the three could see it was Discord. Or rather, the Discord from this time.
 
“This is no time for games, fool.” Luna spat her words at the pair of Discords. “Either release us with your magic or be gone and leave us to our mourning.”
 
The Discord from the past, with indignation in his heart and three holes in his chest, sneered back. “I’m not doing anything you old crone, he brought me here from my time, three days in the past. All I did was wake up from a nap this morning and find the three little fillies had started all of this mess outside my bedroom door.”
 
Eyes wide at the explanation, Celestia looked up “Wait, say that again?”
 
Discord harrumphed. “Okay, okay, so it wasn’t my bedroom door, it was yours. In the old Sun Tower. But you weren’t using it! Heck, nopony had seen hide nor hair of your royal rump for almost five hundred yea—“
 
“No, not that. The part where you said the other Discord brought you here from the past.”
 
“Guilty as charged,” said future Discord with a dismissive wave. The air around him started to crackle. “By the way, my time spell is running out of… well, time. You may want to hurry this along.”
 
“Tia,” asked Luna. “Does this mean what I think it means? Can we fix this? Can we stop all this from ever happening?”
 
“Discord,” said Celestia.
 
“Yes?” asked both Discords at once.

“Just that one,” she nodded in the direction of the Discord with the holes in his chest.
 
“I see now a way to right this wrong, but it will require your assistance. I can’t force you to do this.”
 
“Sixty seconds till the spell ends,” stated the Discord without holes in his chest, the air around him began to swirl.
 
“Will you help us? Will you save our ponies and all of Equestria?”
 
Past Discord looked down at his hands mentally weighing his options.
 
“Fifty seconds.”
 
He clenched his raw hand a few times before looking the Sun Goddess in the eye. “I will.”
 
“Excellent. Come closer so I can kiss you.”
 
“What?!”
 
“Sister!”
 
“Forty-five seconds.”
 
Celestia turned to catch her sister out of the corner of her eye. “Our horns are useless right now, and time is of the essence. If we’re going to grant Discord the power he needs to break this cycle, we’ll have to do it through a kiss. It’s the only way, and you know—.”
 
She was cut off by a surprise kiss on the lips.
 
“Thirty-five seconds.” The air around the four gods began to whip and stir.
 
Discord pulled away. “I don’t feel any different. Did it work?”
 
Celestria frowned. “No, because I haven’t prepared the spell!”
 
“What? Why not?”
 
“You startled me, you old goat!”
 
“Hay now, let’s not get into who’s old around—“
 
“This is your thirty second warning, folks.” A tearing sound filled the air, and a portal opened some fifty feet behind them.
 
“I’m ready,” said Luna, urgently. “Get over here and let’s get this over with.”
 
Discord approached the deep blue Princess of the night with trepidation. They had never been particularly fond of each other, but if this was going to work he’d have too…

His mind went blank as their lips touched. A searing pain burned through him from tip to tail. The holes in his chest sealed, and the pain fell away, replaced with a rush of energy.
 
He opened his eyes, not that he remembered closing them in the first place, and saw that Luna looked similarly uneasy about the exchange. Her once ethereal hair now limp, and very much real, hung heavily from her head and neck.
 
“Twenty seconds.”
 
The portal now sounded like a distant waterfall, and the newly healed Discord could feel it pulling at him as he turned to face the other Princess. She eyed him with equal parts hope and despair. 

He kissed her.
 
Their kiss was brief, but powerful. His lips tingled, and his mind burned with the heat of the midday sun. His chaotic nature warred with the harmonious origin of his new power, and he felt like he was in danger of tearing himself apart, just by existing. If it weren’t all so thrilling, he’d have already have done so.
 
The energy rushing from the Princess also came with the knowledge of time-walking, a spell that could alter the flow of time as easily as one could walk from one room to another. A spell that would irrevocably change the fate of the world. As their lips continued their short-lived embrace, Discord could feel Celestia’s thoughts and fears as if they were his own.
 
Her concerns about sharing such a powerful spell with a being of pure chaos were first and foremost in her mind. Sure he might be able to use it to save the world, but the other Discord behind him told her that he’d already failed before. How far back did the time loop go? How many times have they failed? What if they succeeded this time? If they did succeed, what was to say that Discord wouldn’t use that power for ill in the future?
 
Their lips parted and Discord grabbed his head to steady himself. Though the contact ended, his internal tug-of-war between harmony and chaos raged on.
 
“Ow,” he said, as his eyes lolled about in his head.
 
“Indeed,” agreed Celestia through the puffy pink mane that enveloped her head.
 
“Ten seconds.”
 
“So. This is it, huh? Use the power you gave me to beat the Beacon of Order, or time-walk back three days and start the loop all over again?”
 
The two Princesses nodded.
 
“Okay, I can do that. I think. I hope.”
 
“Five seconds!” shouted future Discord over the now roaring portal. Past Discord could no longer resist its pull.
 
Luna’s eyes went wide with a sudden thought. “Discord!” she shouted, “Find us in the past! We will help you! Tell us what you know!”
 
Celestia’s eyes went wide. “Yes! We will both be in Canterlot after the dragon attack.”
 
“Dragon attack?”

“Three seconds!”
 
“Oh yes,” nodded Luna. “It was quite spectacular.”
 
“Two…”
 
“To find us, you’ll need to know our aliases,” shouted Celestia through her mass of pink hair. “Honestly, I’m not sure how we stayed hidden for so long, since we both wo—“
 
There was a loud sucking sound, followed by an implosion. The portal disappeared and only three gods remained.
 
“And he’s gone.” Discord brushed himself off and walked over to the princesses. 

He snapped a fuzzy thumb to a furry forefinger and several chisels and hammers appeared. He then  pointed at the two Princesses and the floating construction gear went to work chipping silently away at the two crystal masses.
 
“It’s not much,” he said with a sad grin, “but it’s the best I can do. That time-walking spell really takes it out of you. I should have you both free in a few days.”
 
Luna yawned. “We… I thank you, Discord. I am exhausted and my power drained. I fear I may fall asleep where I stand.”
 
Celestia nodded, “Agreed, dear sister. Though I gave most of my remaining power to Discord, I feel... hopeful. Perhaps we can correct the mistakes of the past and prevent this future from ever happening.”
 
Luna said nothing. She was already asleep.
 
Celestia chuckled a small humorless laugh, and Discord cleared his throat. “So. If I fix this in the past, what happens to us?”
 
Celestia took a ragged breath. “Time is like a river, Discord. It is shaped by events and blockages. When the Beacon of Order is defeated in the past, the river of time will change course. This timeline and our failure will cease to be, and a new brighter future will flow on along a new path.”
 
“I see. Will it hurt?”
 
“Does it matter?”
 
“I suppose it doesn’t.”
 
“Tell me, Discord,” Celestia asked with a yawn, “did we almost win this time around?”
 
Discord nodded. “We were so close. Twilight and the others, they almost did it. And then?... Then we zagged when we should have zigged.”
 
Celestia smirked. “Don’t you mean ‘zigged when we should have zagged?’”
 
Discord shook his head. “No, that’s what the me before me said they did.”
 
“I see. And what did you tell you this time around?”
 
“Nothing.”
 
“I see.”
 
They stood in silence for a few minutes as the crystal was ever-so-slowly removed in tiny flakes. Eventually, Celestia followed her sister into fitful sleep and Discord walked over to the pale brown pony lying rigidly on her side. He picked her up and dusted her off.
 
“You know,” he said as he walked the little pony over to her beloved mentor, “we almost did it.” 

Soon enough, he stood in front of the unusually pale Goddess of Magic and let out a sigh. Discord set Smarty Pants down in front of the silently crying Princess Twilight Sparkle. He sat himself down next to her and with a grunt of effort, he produced a handkerchief out of thin air. He dried the tears from her face.
 
“Hello, Sparkplug. It’s me. Discord.”
 
There was no response, so he continued. "We, uh, we almost had him, eh?”
 
Still no response from the good Secretary General, but she wasn’t crying anymore. Discord took that as a good sign and carried on.
 
“This is really hard for me. I’m not usually one for apologies. But I wanted you to know... That is to say... You know...”
 
He took a breath and his voice took on an unusually serious tone. “Twilight, I’m so sorry about all this. I’m sorry about lying to you on your birthday, I just… I just couldn’t bear to tell you the truth at the time, you know?”
 
“SMMM”
 
Discord looked hard at Twilight, and realized that she was trying to say something.
 
“SMMMMMMM” She tried again. Her breathing became ragged and new tears started to pool in her eyes.
 
“SMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaah”
 
“Smarty Pants?” asked Discord. “She’s here. She’s right here. She’s going to be fine. We're all going to be fine.”