//------------------------------// // Day Two: Last Chance To Feel // Story: The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony // by Chatoyance //------------------------------// Attention Citizen: This is a courtesy reminder of your world corporate obligations, provided free of charge. This nonmandatory Recommended Info binds you to mandatory data redistribution of one (1) copy to a secondary non-attached infosink within 24 hours. Penalties may be applied if this requirement is not met. Crosscheck reveals that you have still not complied with the mandatory data redistribution requirement. You have 12.11 hours remaining to avoid censure. GOING PONY Day Two: Last Chance To Feel By Sunshine Laughter "...fectly Ok. I don't mind. Nothing here matters anymore, if you think about it." I've got the zoom working on this thing, as you can see. That brown spider there is my hand, and this is not a coppery carpet, it is a pony. Millicent is letting me... well, pet her, I suppose. Is that an OK way to put it? "You worry way too much, Sunshine. Besides, it's nice!" Alright then. Um, I wanted to feel what pony hair felt like, to my hands, you know? Before I didn't have any anymore. When I told Millie that, she let me pet her, and I have to say that pony fur... I mean hair... is different than I expected. It's really soft, for one thing, and kind of short. It lays so flat that I figured it would have to be kind of hard or rough or something, but it's actually sort of silky, like those silky sheets, only hair. It's hair, by the way and not fur. Apparently there is some big difference between the two, but I wasn't paying that much attention. Ponies have coats of hair, and it's smooth and soft. And warm too. Um... Millicent... ah, I don't know how to put this, could I... could I smell you. Your coat, I mean. I understand completely if... "Silly! Go ahead, give me a sniff if you want. But I get to sniff your hair in return. I'm curious." Ah, alright. Sure. OK, here goes. Hmmmm. Snerrk. Snfff. Snert. Huh. Not what I expected at all. I had a pet rat once, big genegineered ratty. I loved little Whiskers. But she always smelled... clean, but kind of... animally, sort of. You don't. You smell... warm, alive, but... not that musky animal thing. Just kind of clean and... mostly you smell like shampoo. There's a 'I'm a living thing' smell, but it's not strong. It's pleasant, though. "My turn! I get to smell your hair!" Yeah, sure, why my hair though? Here... There you go. "Well, I never knew anybody with hair like that before. Not personally. Not like how we are. And it looks neat. That's all." You never had any black friends, then. That's what you're saying. Ok. I guess I got the nappy hair going on here, and it isn't like I haven't had to deal with that shit before. Now that's a thought. Once folks get ponified, they're all different colors of the rainbow. Blue and green and purple and whatnot... Earth-style race issues kind of go out the window. Ponies have races, or maybe breeds, I'm not sure what they call it, but there's unicorns and pegasai and earthponies, and nopony seems to care who hooks up with who. It just isn't even an issue. And hair, that goes from straight to tight and curly, but I haven't seen a pony with a natural, yet. What's even stranger, from my perspective, is that ponies are all into grooming each other, which basically means that their version of a handshake is nibbling each others manes for a moment. So they are always getting up in each others hair, and that's kind of a sore point with me, or was. If you have natural hair, what my grams called 'nappy' hair, then people come up and... they up and touch it and ask the damnedest questions, like you weren't even a person or something. It gets to be a real issue, an anger issue. But now, going pony, I guess I'm going to have to learn to let that go. There's just no way to tell what a newfoal was, before they got converted. I don't know how I feel about that. It's like all the shit I am used to fucking up my life is being stripped away. You'd think I'd be glad of that, and I am, but... it also kind of feels like being stripped naked, somehow. Millie seems to like my hair, at least from the contented sniffing and nibbling going on. And I don't seem offended. Which is weird. So, what were you before you were a pony, Millicent? You white, or what? "Some Vietnamese, some... French, I think. Eurozone meets Southasiazone. And a little Southamerizone in there too. It wasn't a big deal for me." No way I could guess what you were from how you look now. I guess ponification erases race. I guess that makes sense; it erases being human altogether, and race is a human thing. I gotta say, though, I did wonder if the color you turn out had any connection to what you were before. But, from the conversions we saw today, I guess not. I saw a sister, darker than me, go in before dinner, side note for all of you out there, and she came out yellow. Just this bright, bright yellow, with a pale white mane. Purple eyes. And I saw a white guy come out the color of space, with a mane to match. He could be a pony ninja. I guess it's one big random whirlwind of color or something. I wonder what I'll end up looking like. I hope I'm green. Bright, shimmery green, like trees and grass. I could lay on the grass and be invisible and watch everypony. I'd be the invisible pony! Hey! What are you doin to my hair, Millie? What the? "Just feeling it. I have to use my mouth. My lips and tongue are my most sensitive parts. I'm grooming you. It's a pony thing!" All...right. I guess I can go with that. You did let me pet you and all. But... OK, maybe that's not so bad, actually. It kind of feels nice, to tell the truth. Weird. But nice. "See? It's even better as a pony. Way better!" That's what you were saying at breakfast, as I remember. So, what do you think of my mane, Millie? "It's unusual. Really tight curls. They feel neat against my tongue and my lips. I like it. I wish pony manes were like this. I wish you could keep it." Keep my 'fro? Haven't seen a single pony with nappy hair. I'm going to miss it myself, to tell the truth. I'm really used to my hair. It's gonna be strange as Muffin to have long, straight, neon hair. But, new body, new hair. Heh. I'm gonna be walking around on hooves, no hands, face turned into a muzzle, ears on the top, tail swishing around behind my ass, and I'm worrying about my fool hair. It's weird the things you fuss over, preparing for such a big change, I gotta say. So, it's night, my second night in the Bureau, and as you can see...wait. You can't see, because... there, I've zoomed out again, this is our room. Millie and I are roommates, we got that sorted out today. It wasn't as hard as I thought. We went in together and just explained things, and they took care of it. They don't really give a cookie about who rooms with who, as long as everypony's happy, so here we are. And I am really liking it. "I am really glad to be roommates with you, too, Sunshine!" Hee! We make a pretty good pair here, I figure. Razor and Gloria got stuck together, and I sorta wish I could see in there and sorta don't, inside I'm making bets as to whether one or both of them come out alive tomorrow. I'm picturing two snakes hissing at each other all night long, but that's just me. No? I guess Millie and me are agreed here. Lunch was sammiches for me, which was fine and tasty enough. Lots of veggie goodness. I tried a bite of hay from Millie's bowl, and... not so good, to tell you the truth. Really pretty icky, I am sorry to say. Tasted like toasted ass. Hee! That got a smile. As you can see, something has kind of worked out between us; I can say things like that and Millie doesn't mind. I guess it is all how and why things get said with ponies, not what. We saw Sam and Honeydrizzle again today. I kind of apologized for the 'cartoon incident', and we're all cool now. I've decided to just let my walls down, and it seems to be working. Which was good because we got a big long cartoon today for our first class. It was all about the history of Equestria. Apparently, there was this super-being thing called 'Discord', at least that's the closest translation, that invaded their universe. Or maybe he came from there, they don't know for sure. But he changed everything and whatever existed before him was mostly lost. Discord could change reality, like a god. So for a long time, their universe was all chaos and everything changed all the time. It was like a constant Psychotropinol trip. But somewhere in there, old Discord blew it by creating every possible thing, including his own end. He made two alicorns. That's the princesses, right? They have horns and wings and all kinds of powers. They were almost as powerful as Discord himself, and in the end defeated him. Then one of them had a sort of nervous breakdown, and she had to have a thousand year time out. Apparently, the rulers of Equestria are immortal. Real deal, live forever immortal. So a thousand years is just a time out for them. How's that, huh? That's a stable governmental structure, I have to say. Anyway, the time-out princess, Luna, came back a while ago, and now she and her sister, Celestia, rule the place. Forever, I guess. Anyway, during that thousand years, they had all these ages and periods and stuff, just like human history. They had troubles with dragons and griffons, and had to work out a peace pact thing. And then they had this middle ages like us, and a brief flirtation with technology. They started to have a kind of renaissance, almost went industrial, and then that got stopped. They chose to back off and stick to magic and being mostly all villages and farmlands. But there are still a few big, brick cities around from that era. That's one way the ponies are smarter than us, I figure. Our world turned to... uh... total cinnamon swirl, because we didn't know how to decide when enough was enough. We humans always want more, better, newer, faster, just because. But ponies tried that, decided the smog sucked, and backed off so they could keep things paradise. Besides, they have magic and everything, so the technology we use isn't so big to them, plus it wrecks the environment. Magic apparently doesn't. So, that was the cartoon before lunch, and I really liked it. Hear that? I liked it. I liked the cartoon, and I hope we get to see more. "I'm very proud of you, Sunshine!" That's my Millie. She keeps me honest. Oh, that smile. Damn. I mean Muffin. No, I know. It's alright. Anyway, after lunch, we went to separate classes. "I went to earthpony class! We learned how to make things grow. All kinds of things, fruits, vegetables, flowers, even rocks!" Now that's just plain weird, Millie. Rocks. They make rocks grow in Equestria. It's that different physics going on over there. Thamatic energy. You can kind of see why the ponies balked at an industrial revolution, they can make Muffin rocks grow. Tell 'em about the crystals. That's the cool bit. "Well, they had me practice on this half of a geode. It's like a ball of rock, only hollow inside, and it has these crystals lining the interior. They're really pretty. They have them here, on earth, too. But apparently that sort of thing is really, really common in Equestria. Anyway, I made the crystals grow, just like a plant does. And Samantha made a dandelion bloom! It was amazing. It made me feel like magic!" Well, it is magic, Millie. You are magic. You can make stuff grow, that's pretty magic. Millie brought back one of the crystals to show me. Here it... here it is. Really nice, kinda purple color, and I like the banding down there. So how long was this when you started? "It stopped right where the color changes. I did all the stuff after, all the purple stuff." Did you choose it to be purple? "No, it just kind of did that. All I did was make it grow." 'All I did was'.... Millie, Millicent.... All I did was freaking make rock grow outta nothin', that's all, no biggie, hey, do it every day, it ain't no thing, just the usual... "Stop it! You're making fun of me!" No, no, no I am not. I'm trying to get you to see just how extraordinary this is. I'm holding a hunk of rock, a gemstone, a beautiful, beautiful gemstone and you grew it. It didn't exist until you did... whatever it is you do to make it... "I just sang to it and sort of sent love at it. Sort of." You sang a rock into being. I would say that is a miracle on par with old religious dudes with big long beards and glowy heads, Millie. I mean, seriously. I can't do that. No human can do that. No human ever did that. But you did. You made stuff by... being nice to it, I guess. That is a heck of a thing, Millie. You can't just take that for granite. "No... I guess I... hey! Did you? You said 'Granite!" Hee hee hee hee..." Heh heh, heh... yeah, see, made you smile. That's all, Millie, I just want you to understand how incredibly cool I think this is. So, Millie got to go learn how to make things grow, but me, still being a dirty, eeebil old ape monster, I got to go sit with the other damn dirty apes, and go through Social Orientation Class. They do it right up front, while you're still human, so that it is clear what is what. Basically they teach you what the social norms for Equestria are, and what you will be expected to do, and not do, and what is right and what is wrong, and what is considered acceptable and normal there. It all pretty much boils down to love and acceptance. I know you always hear Love and Tolerance, but that is not the deal. They don't want you to tolerate stuff in Equestria, they expect you to embrace it if you can, and accept it, period. So there is no fussing over who's got the bigger god, because there aren't any gods. Just Celestia and Luna, and if you have a problem with that, you can schedule a meeting to discuss it, pony to goddess. No fussing over who loves whom; they don't have any basis for thinking that being queer or straight is anything. It's all good, and it's all normal, and there is no if and or but about that in Equestria. They don't even have words for such things, because it ain't no thing at all. I know that futzes with a lot of stuff you hear out there, me too. I was up to my neck in 'coltcuddlers' and 'fillyfoolers' and whatnot, from all the folks writing about what they thought was happening over there, and that's cool, but that's a human viewpoint. I'm here in the Bureau, and I just had a class taught by a native-born pony, and he made it real clear that none of our human prejudices and issues apply. It really is a different world, and they never had puritans or churches or any of that crap. They just had Celestia and being ponies, and they just do what comes natural, and that's all there is to it. There's a little racism, between the three types of ponies, in that each one thinks they are the best. I'm not sure what to think of that. It's not like a unicorn, say, can't marry a pegasus or whatever. I guess its more like how any group always thinks it's the best, just because its a group. Mountain Pathfinder, our instructor, he made sure we understood that even this wasn't a big deal. And in the end, in anything important or meaningful, all the differences go away. He talked about color; that too is something we're supposed to leave behind, along with politics, religion and war and stuff. Those things don't apply to Equestria. Well, war could, sort of, what with the dragons and the griffons and other creatures, but even then, ponies don't kill. They might buck you up some, but then they'd take you to a hospital and sit with you after, more or less. Basically, what came across to me is just how alien the place is. Equestria isn't earth. The same rules do not apply. Physics is different, ponies are different, society is different, even the way they think about stuff is different. And they have this whole other history that is nothing like ours. It's easy to think we're really similar, because they have tables and we have tables and we both have houses and drink from cups and stuff like that. There is a lot of familiar-looking stuff over there. But it isn't earth. And that was probably the biggest lesson I got out of today. Being a pony and living in Equestria means dropping a lot of baggage. You know how they say you can't bring anything with you from Earth into Equestria? They ain't kidding, folks. They don't just mean your holoset or your implants or whatever. They really mean all the human ape shit that you're draggin' around behind you all day. Sorry, Milllie. So, dinner. Dinner was just wonderful. "I really liked my dinner!" Tell 'em what you had. "I had Hay Almondine. It was baked hay, all crispy and golden, with this creamy sauce on it, and they also had these little green things in it..." Capers. I think they said they were 'capers', whatever that is. I remember because it's a funny name. 'Caper'. "Yes! Those were good. And we also had a big salad with candied nuts and fruits and fescue and alfalfa and lettuce and wheat grass and chard and... and well, lots of tasty things! Oh! Oh! And brownies!" Oh, lord, the brownies. They had chewy, chocolatey, oozy-with-melted-YUM brownies. All real, all good, and.. this is the big one folks... the chocolate was real. Really, real. Chocolate is not extinct in Equestria, not at all. It's like eating something from the age of the dinosaurs, and it roared like a T-Rex. I know they say they've duplicated the structure of chocolate. They lie. I have had the real thing, and the real thing really is... I don't have the words. Millie. I am misting up here. "It's GOOD!" Yes. It's good. No... no it isn't good, I think we can do better than that, I really do, it's... "MUFFINTACULAR!!!" Hee hee hee "hee hee" Hee hee! Oh, that was fun. That's our new word, now. If something is really great, it is Muffin-tacular. Hee hee. "Hee hah hee.." Heh... well, we have our fun, here, in room... what is the number we are in now? "Room 17" Room 17. We have our fun here, and we had brownies tonight, and damn, damn, damn were they something. "I wish we had some more." Oh, Millie, I second that. I wish to... Luna - she's the night one, right? .... Luna, that we had more of those brownies. I would so gobble them, and I am not kidding, even though I am still full from dinner. Oh... as for me, hay doesn't work for humans so well, so I had a vegetarian lasagna made with... eggbush or something? "Eggplant" Eggplant and... other stuff. Anyway it was really good, and the sauce was... I'll just say again that it is worth it just to... hey! That reminds me! I've got some stuff to say, before I forget again. On my first day, I think, I said some crap about how Equestria is filled with apples and some Muffin. But that's not exactly right. Earthponies, like Millie here, make everything grow in Equestria, so without them, no apples or anything else. Except for the wild areas. There are these scar zones or something... they mentioned them in the history class... scars left over from the battle with Discord, right? One is this big forest, and the normal laws of Equestria don't work in there. There are other places too, where that is the case. In the wild areas, things work more like here, on Earth, and stuff just grows. But it's often dangerous stuff, and it has it's own rules that come with it. So it isn't like you can just go grab something out of one of these weird areas and expect no consequences. They bring a little of their weirdness with them. So, there is stuff that grows in Equestria without earthponies, but it is only in these damaged areas, and it's usually not safe. But they get a lot of their medicines and special magical materials from the weird zones, so it isn't like the things are unwanted. But for normal life, all the food, all the everything, has to come from hardworking earthponies. The other thing I wanted to mention was about taste. I was worried about what being a pony would do to my sense of taste, if ponies love hay and alfalfa and grass and stuff like that, right? It apparently is not a problem. We tried each other's meals tonight, and while I hated Millie's food... "Blaaaaaa..." Don't you stick your tongue out at me, I can't help it if I got a monkey mouth right now! Anyway, I couldn't eat her stuff, but she could eat all of my food easy, and she liked it just as well. She loved the lasagna, and she probably loved the brownies even more than I did. See those big, huge, blue-green eyes over there? Imagine them rolling up under those coppery lids, with a big ol' tongue lollin' out, and her making 'O' noises right in the middle of the cafeteria like she just don't care... "That isn't true! I didn't do that! I didn't" Yeah, yeah, you tell 'em that. I believe you, we all believe you. "I can still hear you, Sunshine. Big pony ears, remember?" Damn, I can't hide anything from this one, I am telling you that she... CRRRRUUUNNNNCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!! CRASH CLONG CLANG CLATTER-CLATTER SMASH!!! You know, living here next to the collapsing ruins of this old arcology not only wakes me up in the middle of the night, but it constantly reminds me of how we, as a species, went wrong. Greed, selfishness, the heedless wasting of our planet's precious resources, not to mention pollution, the death of the oceans, the extinction of most forms of life and of course the Great Collapse... it was like we were born to fail. Some say we had a great run, and point to all the works of art, the great ruins of ancient civilizations, and all of our technological achievements. Splitting the atom, the first nanomachine, anagathic lifespan extenders. But even with all of that, just look, really look, at our world. C-CCCRRRUNNNCHHHHHHHH!!!!! CLANG BANG BOOM!!! It's pretty ugly, isn't it. Nineteen billion of us crammed onto a planet that can support a quarter of that, tops. Dead, burned landscapes of crumbling infrastructure. A two-percent employment rate. The only nature left is dandelions and mutated rats. Is this what being human means? Is being human really that wonderful? We at the PER don't think so. We're Ponification for the Earth's Rebirth, and we ask you to please, please, get ponified today. The Earth can't take any more of humanity, and neither can we. Neither should you. It isn't a matter of choosing to accept Princess Celestia's generous salvation, it is our duty, to the planet, to each other, and to life itself, to become ponified. Join us. Help us spread the word. Help us effect universal ponification for every man, woman, and child upon this earth. As humans, we are a plague upon the world. As ponies, we are united. Help save the world, help save yourselves and everyone you know. Get ponified today. And when you do, send all of your wealth to the PER, to help with the Great Crusade, the crusade to save what little dignity we as a species have left: the dignity to know when it is time to make a new start. So join us, we are the PER! Ponification for the Earth's Rebirth! And until you are ponified, show support in the streets by calling out proudly CRUSADE ME! CRUSADE ME! CRUSADE ME! CRUSADE ME! That's right, we're all PER, and we're all around you. We're in your business, we're in your favelas, were taking it to the streets and into your homes. Were the PER, and we're here on a great crusade to ponify the world! Ponification, in every nation Fills me up, with a cup, of elation! Ponification, I'll take my station, Give me a cup, I'll drink it up, I'll ponify! This message has been brought to you by ANONYMOUS and the Ponification for the Earth's Rebirth. This message is not traceable to your person or to your device. All records of this message will be purged from your datahistory and from the Worldkarma Security records. If you wish to donate to the PER, transfer to the account 'CrusadeMeGrey' and the PER will take it from there through untraceable means. If you wish to be converted or you wish others to be converted, simply shout 'Crusade Me!' in any open location, and you will be contacted. We are everywhere. We are united. We cannot be stopped. We will Ponify the world. ...like this? Alright. Wait, you have a tangle. Hang on, that's one thing I know how to deal with. Let me get my pick. Alright, there. Now, see, I just hold the hair near the base, the pick... hey, my pick comb is perfect for pony tails. Let's see, this one is... there! I got it. All smooth and cas-casading and stuff. You've got an interesting color combination, I have to say. The bright red of your mane and tail go surprisingly well with the coppery coat. I'd call it copper, anyway. Kind of brown-red, sort of, only shiny. No, a little golden, too. Copper. "You said you want to be green?" Yeah, green is my favorite color. It's one of the reasons I like, immediately fell for Equestria, right? It's sooo green. Everywhere is green. Except the desert, but they usually don't show that. Green trees, green grass, green bushy... plants... it's really green. Even the sky sometimes looks slightly green. I guess because it isn't really a planet, exactly. It's a place. That's gonna be a little weird to get used to. I mean, all my life, all I know is I'm on a sphere, a ball hanging in space, and Equestria is some kind of paraboloid curve thingy in another cosmos. "I thought it looked like half of an egg. Like the pointy half of an eggshell." Yeah, yeah, I can see that. The princesses live at the apex, at the focus or whatever it's called on a parabola, and the exponential lands are everything going down. I guess as Equestria eats more of the Earth, it will end up looking more like a traffic cone. It's weird to imagine living on something like that. You'd think everypony would just fall off. "Nopony falls off of the earth, and it's round like a ball." Yeah but... that's.... I guess so. Equestria probably doesn't have gravity, like we know it, but it must have some... force, some new physics that keeps everything on the surface, just like gravity. I wonder what the sky is like! Now that's extra weird, don't you think? I mean, Earth, space, infinite universe, but Equestria, the sky is like... like a crystal dome or something. It's a light show put on by princess Luna. There's no space, beyond the atmosphere, because the air never ends, it just hits that dome. Whoa. What is outside that dome? That is so trippy. "Actually, I asked about that one already. Mountain told me. It's kind of weird." Weird? I love weird, you gotta tell me this! So, what is outside that dome? "Well, if I remember right, the dome is also the inside of the parabola that is the surface of Equestria itself. If you dig down far enough, you fall out of the sky, and if you were to start drilling through the sky, you would eventually pop up in Equestria. It wraps, you see, through a higher.... dimension. Through a higher space. That is how he put it." No. Way. That is so awesome. Seriously, I understand this. That's kind of what they say about our universe, Earth's universe, or what they used to say, anyway. That if you traveled far enough in any direction out in space, eventually you would come back to where you started from the other side. It's like a game world that wraps in all directions, right? That was all Einstein and stuff. He called it 'Finite Yet Unbounded'. It's real sciencey stuff, seriously. You know what this means? "No, not really. Oh, could you do my forelock, too?" Oh, sure. I'm sorry, I got all excited there for a mome. There. How do you get so many tangles with such straight hair? Mane. Whatever. Hang on.... "Ow!" Sorry. It slipped. OK, there. Anyway, what it means is that our universe, Mundis, has that fact in common with the only other universe we've ever encountered, Equestria. They both wrap around in all directions. But our universe is like, balls in space, and their universe is... um... one big contiguous landscape. But both wrap in higher dimensions. It makes me wonder, is that why Equestria collided or whatever with us? Like, are we sister universes, sort of the same, but just a little different? Was Equestria the universe next door? Do universes form like planets in groups, or... "Ouch! Please pay attention? I know you're all excited about... stuff... but, my mane is, well it's attached. To me." Oh. Oh man. Oh, I'm sorry. I've gone and made it worse. Here I will pay attention, solid, right? There, Ok, and I'm gonna hold here, right, and now I'll fix that.... there. See? All better. I am so sorry, Millicent. I just got carried away there with all the cosmic junk, right? "Did you study cosmic... junk?" Hee! No. Well, sort of. My dad, he... he works for the worldgovernment satellite division, right? All the communication satellites, and the spy satellites and the security satellites, all that stuff. And for a while we kind of had this 'space' thing going on, you know? And we'd watch science shows and science fiction and all sorts of things. But then he got busy, and... it just wasn't happening anymore. "I'm sorry, Sunshine!" Hey, no biggie. I know he loves me. He's just real busy with his work and all. But it was nice for a while, and... I guess I got a little of that bug in me or something. I kept on reading junk about space and stuff, and... I guess it made me feel like he'd kind of approve or something. Silly, I guess. "No, I don't think it's silly at all. I think it's nice. I never knew my father, so I think you are lucky to have had that time with yours." You never knew your father? Woah. Did he like skip out or something? "No. He was shot leaving a barter station. It got raided by a gang, and he got caught in the crossfire. It happens. It happened right before I was born. But my mom carried on, you know. But she really loved him. I mean, she never got involved with anypony else." Is your mom still around? Did she get ponified... no, probably not, right, because she'd be here with you, if that was the case, right? "My... mother... is strong. But she is stubborn, and she... believes stuff that kind of makes being a pony not an option for her." Wow. I didn't know that. So... I guess you don't share her beliefs, then. I mean, you're here and everything. "No. We... disagreed on a lot of things. So I came here. I couldn't convince her to come with me. I wish... nevermind." What, what do you wish? Maybe... maybe something can be... "No. Nothing can be done. I guess, sometimes, I wish that one of those crazy ponification groups, you know the ponification terrorist guys? I... wish they would get her and she'd just be a pony, and then she'd be safe. I don't know science stuff as well as you do, but I can see what's happening. I want to live. I just wish... I just wish she did. Enough to give up her stupid beliefs in order to be there for me. To stay alive. That's why I ended up with Razor, Sunshine. I... my mom just kind of drifted into her faith and left me behind. I just felt abandoned. But I'm strong when I have to be, so... so I joined up with Razor and, well, we took care of things. However we had to. We did some pretty bad stuff... Anyway, I still miss my mother. I wish... well, I think you can understand Sunshine." Yeah, yeah I do. I'm sorry, Millicent. I really am. Hey, maybe... maybe they will get her, and one day you'll see her again. Maybe she'll come looking for you in Equestria, after the Earth is gone and everything! "Maybe. Thanks. Sunshine. For trying." Um... yeah. Man. I wish I had another one of those brownies. "Oh, me too! I wonder what they'll make tomorrow?" I know, every day the food has just been... hey! I just realized! "What?" Tomorrow is day three for me! They don't usually ponify anyone until day three, right? Usually, anyway. So who knows? Maybe tomorrow I get to be a pony too! Wouldn't that be awesome? "Yes! Oh, good luck, Sunshine! I hope they call you tomorrow!" Maybe... maybe even in the morning. Oh, I am gonna have a hard time sleeping now. Maybe tomorrow morning, that would be soooo cool. God, oh god, oh god, that would be sooo awesome. Being with you, meeting Jan and Honeydrizzle and Goldenrod, and our teachers... I am not afraid of being a pony at all. You're all so nice, you still like pie, and now that you let me feel you up... "SUNSHINE!" Heh heh... just kidding... just kidding. But touching your coat and combing your mane has really helped me somehow. It... it's like it made it more real, more solid, and more... nice. When I feel your warmth, I know you're real, you're alive, you're... you, you know? I mean, ponies and everything. It's all so strange, so unreal. But you are happy, and you are a real... pony... person... and somehow, now, I am totally certain I will be alright. Better than alright. I want to be a pony now. Not just accept it as the price for a nice world full of nice people and stuff. I'm OK now with the actually being a pony part all by itself. If that makes any sense at all. "It does, Sunshine. Sometimes something as simple as touch can make even scary things easier." Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Thanks for that, Millie. Letting me paw you and all. "Hee! It was my pleasure. Actually it kind of was. It was really nice having my mane and tail brushed." Yeah, that's big with ponies, isn't it. I guess I'll find out. Maybe tomorrow. Oh, I hope tomorrow. Please, please, please... "Calm down, Sunshine. Goodness. It will happen when it happens. They'll ponify you. It's not like they won't." What if they run out of serum, or we get raided by one of those humanist groups or... no. No. I am not doing this. It will happen when it happens, and it will be fine. In the meantime, great food, great friends, and lots to learn. I just need to concentrate on that. OK, you peeping hypernet toms, it's time for nite-nite. The Sunshine and Millie show is signing off. Peace, OUT.