//------------------------------// // Startling Start // Story: Friendship is Butter // by Supahsnail //------------------------------// "Friends are like stars. They come and go, But the ones that stay Are the ones that glow." ~ Roxy Quicksilver Squids, the ugliest and most useless mob in all of Minecraft. You'll probably never find anything more annoying, either. However, Minecraft has something so majestic, so beautiful, that it more than makes up for the evil that is the squid. You may know it as gold, but in this story, we'll call it butter. King Squid had an appearance that might confuse you. On one hand, he was clearly a squid, tentacles and all, but on the other hand, his body was not blue, but the majestic color of butter! He was taller than most squids. In fact, the only reason he was king was because he was bigger than every other squid. King Squid was in a shallow tub of water with his two most trusted companions, Chad and Steve. The tub was located in a super secret lab, deep below the surface of the Overworld. The lab was full of buttons and levers, most of which did absolutely nothing. "God, I'm beautiful!" Said King Squid. "Yes sir, you certainly are!" Chad agreed. "Thank you, Chad," said the king, "I always did enjoy your compliments." "You are the most beautiful squid in Minecraft, sir!" Said Steve. "Steve, don't be a kiss-ass!" The king ordered. "Anyway, now that we've gotten my beauty out of the way, let's move on to the subject of my evil plan. My ultimate evil machine of doom is now fully charged!" "What does the machine do, oh great and powerful one?" Asked Chad. "I don't know exactly," the king admitted. "Whatever it is, I'm sure that it's evil!" Steve asked, "What about Sky and his friends?" "Shut up, Steve!" Said the king. Chad asked, "What about Sky and his friends?" "That is an excellent question, Chad, you beautiful, majestic creature, you!" Said the king. "But we needn't worry about them. I have protected this lab with an unbeatable parkour map. If they wish to enter here, they must complete the most impossible jumps of their lives!" "My king, I hear something," Steve warned. "No one cares, Steve!" The king said bitterly. "My king, I hear something," Chad warned. "Really?" The king asked. "Be quiet everyone, we need to listen closely." Faint voices could be heard from beyond the lab's iron doors. "TY! PUT THE TNT DOWN!" "Do it, Ty, do it!" "Stop encouraging him, Kuledud3!" "I'm gonna do it!" "TY! Think about what you're doing!" "I don't want to do dis map any more!" "Shit! Everybody take cover!" 'BOOM!' A loud explosion sounded, shaking the entire complex. The entire wall around the doors to the lab was hit by the pressure wave of an earth shattering explosion that reduced it all to a pile of rubble. On the other side of the wall were the completely ruined remains of a parkour map with shattered stone and smoldering wood covering the ground of a hollowed out crater. Amid the rubble and fire were three, cube-like men. Skythekidrs, Deadlox, TrueMU, Antvenom, Bodil40, and Kuledud3, the squids knew their faces well. "Is anyone going to explain how we survived that?" Asked TrueMU. "Magics," said Bodil. Sky unsheathed a shining butter sword and extended it toward the king squid, who was on the opposite side of the lab. He said, "Hey guys, Sky here, and I'm here with Kuledud3, Antvenom, TrueMU, Deadlox and BODIL40! And today we are going to beat the ever loving crap out of the squid army!" "You wouldn't hit a squid made of butter, would you?" Asked the king. "You're full of crap!" Said Sky. "I have fused my own squid DNA with that of butter! Making me the most powerful squid in all of Minecraft! I can absorb energy, summon more squids, and even breath out of water!" "You combined butter with squid!?" Sky said in shock. "You sick monster!" "I'm afraid you're too late to stop me, Sky!" Said King Squid. "My team of evil scientists have completed the ultimate evil machine of doom! Muhuhuhahaha!" "You don't have any scientists!" Sky yelled. Deadlox agreed, "Yeah, you're just a bunch of stupid squids!" "Oh yeah?" Said the king in much the same way a toddler would. "If we didn't have scientists, then where did that offensive German stereotype come from?" There was a small tank on a balcony in the back of the lab with one squid in it who appeared to be wearing a squid shaped lab coat. "Ve vill serve ze fuhrer to our last, dying breath!" The squid yelled in an angry German accent. "That doesn't really prove anything..." Said Antvenom. "It doesn't matter if you believe me or not," said the squid king. He extended one, massive tentacle out of his tank and wrapped it around the handle of a lever. The lever was labeled "DUME!!!" It was attached to a large metal box that looked like a giant copying machine. The king continued, "You've been messing with the squid army for long enough! It's time for you to taste our vengeance!" TrueMU drew out a diamond sword and held it out in a defensive stance. The other four, who still hasn't drawn their swords, did the same. For some reason, Kuledud3's sword was just a wooden stick. "What? Real swords are expensive, okay?" Kuledud3 said defensively. "You don't actually think you can win, do you?" Asked Steve. "You think you're tough?" Antvenom asked, waving his butter sword. "HIT ME!" "Mein fuhrer, ze machine iz fully operational!" Shouted the angry, German squid. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat," said King Squid, "but I need to put my vaguely evil plan into action. Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station!" He pulled the lever theat he had been holding. Nothing happened. Sky and his friends waited a few seconds for something to happen. When nothing did, Sky said, "Is that... Is that it? That's your evil machine!?" "Give it a second," said the squid king, "It's operating on a really old version of Windows. It takes a while to boot up." Everyone waited a few more seconds before a loud humming sound came out of the squid's machine. "There it goes!" Said the king. Purple bolts of electricity fired out from the machine, hitting the walls and floors. "What does that thing do?" Asked Sky, shouting, so that he could be heard over the loud noise. "I... Don't know," said the king. "WHAT!?" The six Minecrafters said in unison. A bolt of electricity struck the king squid, and he started to scream, but he was also glowing bright yellow and growing rapidly! His size doubled in just a few seconds before his growing slowed. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" The squids screamed. "MY EVERYTHING BURNS!!!" King Squid yelled. Kuledud3 was watching this calmly and said, "So... That happened." Two of the electric bolts hit each other in mid air. They created a ball of energy in between them that grew larger and larger as more bolts connected with it. The ball of purple energy formed itself into a four, purple portal blocks, two blocks wide and two blocks tall. "How did this happen?" Asked Sky. "This is like one of Bodil's maps! It makes no sense!" The portal created a gravitational pull that sucked in Steve, Chad, the German squid and the king like a vacuum cleaner collecting dust. The king could barely fit through the portal, and the last thing he said before he disappeared was "This is somehow Steve's fault!!!!!" Sky and his friends were trying to resist the pull at first, until Sky said, "Don't resist it! Jump into the portal!" He jumpes headfirst into the portal, crying, "FOR BUTTER!" Kule, Ant, and Bodil jumped in imediately after him. True lifted his shoulders and shook his head. "Why?" He asked as he watched his friends jump in willingly for no adequately explained reason. Deadlox shouted, "We do dis!" And he jumped, grabbing True and taking him through the portal with him. The lab was empty. The chaos created by the machine had ceased, and all that was left was the square portal and the ravaged laboratory. _________________________________________________ It was the perfect day in ponyville for a picnic. Twilight, AJ, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were sitting on a red and white checkered quilt. Although the day was pretty, boring would also be a good word to describe it. The six mares were attempting to entertain themselves with a game of cards. "Knight to E5!" Said Pinkie as she laid down her cards for the others to see, three 2's one ace and a king. "Bingo! King me! Back to square one!" "Pinkie... What game is it that you think we're playing?" Asked Twilight. Pinkie grunted and buried her face into the quilt. "I don't know," she said, "something boring!" "HEY!" An unfamiliar voice called to them from a river behind their picnic sight. Pinkie immediately shot up when she heard this. "Who was that?" She asked. "Sounded like it was coming from the river," said Rainbow Dash, gesturing over her shoulder to the water. The river extended across the center of Ponyville, and there was only one wooden bridge in the town that crossed over it. "I suppose we should go take a look at it," said Rarity, who was just as desperate for something to do as everyone else. The six stood up and casually trotted toward the river. Once the were half way there, and the river was only a few meters away, they heard the voice again. "HEEEEEEY!" "Hi!" Pinkie replied cheerfully. She hopped ahead of her friends and looked at the river. Her smile quickly turned into a frown. She leaped backward and latched onto Applejack's neck. "MONSTER!!!!" She yelled, nervously extending one hoof into the direction of a rectangular, pixelated, blue cephalopod with eight tentacles. "Oh that's not a monster," Fluttershy said confidently. "That's a..." She paused to look at the squidlike creature. "That's a... Oh my, I have no idea what that is." Rainbow Dash and Rarity spoke at the same time, "It's so..." "...square!" Said Rainbow Dash. "Tacky!" Said Rarity. She turned to AJ, who still had Pinkie clinging to her neck. "Applejack, your pesticides haven't been getting in water, have they?" "Ah do not use pesticides!" AJ said angrily. "I know a nosey, diary reading kitten who says otherwise. Meow!" Applejack's face became hot red, she looked away from Rarity and back at the water. "So, does anyone know what that thing is?" Twilight asked. "I'M A SQUID!" Said the squid in an obnoxious tone. "A... Talking squid?" Twilight said with a mixture of confusion and skepticism. "Nature is so fascinating!" Fluttershy commented. "HEY!" The squid called out. "Um yes?" Twilight replied. "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" "We are..." "PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME!!!" Twilight looked to Fluttershy, who seemed to be just as confused. "I'M A TALKING SQUID!" "Haven't we already established that?" Rainbow Dash said annoyed. "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" The squid demanded again. A second squid appeared from underneath the first one and rose to the surface. Then a third one came. Then a fourth one. The mane six couldn't think of anything to do but watch as the squids multiplied in this manner until the river was overflowing with squids. Every squid was shouting the same obnoxious phrases. "HEY!" "I'M A SQUID!" "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" "And of course, they multiply," said Twilight sarcastically, "After all, why should we ever be allowed to have a normal day?" The squids were still multiplying, filling in every square inch of water. Fluttershy was hovering above them and pleading, "Oh! Please stop multiplying! If you keep this up, there will be no room for you or the other fish!" The squids didn't stop. "Oh my goodness!" The other five were having much the same reaction you would expect from something like this. They were staring slack jawed and dumbfounded. "I know I should be taking this seriously," said Twilight, "but it's really hard to." ___________________________________________________ Not too far away, six cube shaped appeared a few feet in the air and immediately fell to the ground. "JASON HELP ME!" Sky shouted before slamming face first into the ground. They lifted their square heads and started to stand back up. Deadlox was still holding onto TrueMU. "You can let go of me, Ty," said True. "No! I'm scared!" Said Deadlox. He squeezed Jason tighter and whispered, "You're soft..." True immediately pushed him off. Antvenom saw Ponyville on the horizon, they weren't very far outside of town. He asked, "Why is everything so... Smooth?" Kuledud3 looked at Ponyville as well, he was the only one that recognized where they were. "Um... Guys, I think I know where we are..."