Snips' Clips Barbershop

by AtomicMuffin

Tough Luck, Boyo

Lucky hopped into the barber's chair and Snips threw the cape over his torso. Lucky only wanted a quick trim, so Snips only needed his scissors and a comb.

Before he started working on his mane, Snips asked, "So how in the heck did you manage to catch a ponychaun?"

"Actually, I don't really remember."

That figures. Thought Snips, rolling his eyes.

"How can you not remember something like that?"

"You remember that pub on Bridle Street? The Rusty Horseshoe?"

Snips nodded.

Lucky continued, "I was there with Berry Punch and Thunderlane for our weekly outing. Berry challenged the two of us to a drinking contest. Loser paid, that was the deal. Thunderlane lost, but Berry and I were still three sheets to the wind. Some details about that night are a little... hazy."

"So when did you-" Snips froze as a loud clang rang through the the room. He watched as the metal air vent embedded in the ceiling swung open and Pinkie Pie repelled down on a thick rope. She was dressed in a black one-piece spy suit with her mane and face concealed by a black ski mask, but nothing could conceal her fluffy pink tail.

She dropped to the floor and said in a covert whisper, "Remember kids, we here in Ponyville do not condone the abuse of alcohol. The contestants in this challenge were all responsible adults over the minimum drinking age as mandated by Equestrian law. Auntie Pinkie wants you to remember to drink responsibly and in moderation, but only if you're old enough."

Snips blinked in confusion. "Um... Pinkie? What are you doing? And who are you talking to?"

Pinkie glared at Snips and waved her forelegs in front of her face. She chanted mystically, "You didn't see anything." She repeated her mantra until she grabbed onto the rope and was pulled back into the ventilation system. Snips and Lucky exchanged confused looks, but they both shrugged in resignation.

Without warning Pinkie popped her head back out of the vent and said, "By the way, I saw Flim and Flam in here earlier. Did they tell you about the mess they got themselves into?"

Snips jumped, but he composed himself and replied, "Yeah, I heard. I'm sorry that your sisters had to go through that."

Pinkie giggled, "Don't worry about that, silly. It was all Papa's idea anyway. He told Inkie and Blinkie to get into their beds after they drank too much hard cider. Papa wanted to make sure they were honorable and willing to take responsibility for their actions, even if they didn't actually DO anything. He wasn't going to make them REALLY get married, but we did hope that they would at least love the family enough to try to talk to Papa about it. It's a real shame too, because harvest was just around the corner."

Snips blinked. "That's...horrible and manipulative. And what's so special about harvest? It's just a bunch of rocks, right?"

Pinkie gave him a your-naivete-is-so-cute kind of look and chided, "Snips, didn't anypony ever tell you what really grows on a rock farm? During harvest we crack open the really big rocks and harvest the gems that grow inside. The better care you give the rocks, the higher quality gems they give back."

Snips was dumbfounded. The sheer irony of the situation was ridiculous. If Flim and Flam would have stayed, they would have made a handsome fortune on the gems alone. They wouldn't have even needed to follow through with their little scheme.

Pinkie grew restless in the silence and shot Snips a quick salute. She called out, "Later, taters!" and the rope pulled her back into the ventilation system.

Snips sighed, then slapped on a quick smile. "Sooo, you were saying?"

Lucky, Berry, and Thunderlane staggered drunkenly out of the pub. After a full night of drinking, they were ready to go home and sleep it off. After saying their goodbyes, the trio parted ways.

A gentle breeze ruffled Lucky's mane as he breathed in the night air. Something about the starlit night spoke to him. He felt strangely energized. His head, swimming as it was, told him to go home and sleep, but his heart had other plans. He paused as he came to a fork in the road. The left path would lead him downtown, where he could curl up in bed. The right path would lead him into Whitetail Wood. He decided to take a little stroll down the path less traveled.

The stars cast little light, but fireflies lit up the trees like it was Hearth's Warming Eve. He smiled as he stumbled down the path, enjoying the beautiful display of nature's glory.

A strange, hooded figure stepped onto the path. She didn't speak or even look at Lucky. She just stood in the middle of the path, staring into the forest on the other side. It was as if she yearned to cross over, but something was holding her back. Lucky trotted over to the mysterious figure and prodded him in the shoulder.

"Ishn't thish a beautiful night?" He slurred. "I bet you're really pretty under that cloak."

The cloaked mare ignored him, so he pouted, "I was jusht tryin' to be friendly ish all."

The mare slowly tilted her head just enough to reveal her red muzzle. The corners of her mouth pulled into a mischievous smile. Lucky felt a blow across his head, and the whole world went dark.

"Get offa me, ye bleedin' son of a sheep!"

Lucky opened his eyes and winced at the pain in his head. He rolled over and blinked a few times to allow his eyes to adjust to the early morning light filtering through the trees.

The mysterious voice spoke again, "Well lookee there! Sleepin' Beauty comes back to the world of the livin'."

Lucky glanced around, but he saw nopony around. "Down here," the voice grunted. He glanced down to see a tiny pony, no taller than two bits placed side by side, pinned under one of his hooves. He had a tan coat with a thick, curly orange tail. His mane was the same color, but only a portion of it spilled out from under a green derby hat. He was also wearing a green tailcoat and pointy green boots over long green and white striped socks. It was an honest to Celestia ponychaun. One of the most illusive creatures in the world. So much so that many believed them to only be a myth.

Lucky regained his wits and remarked, "I'll have you know that my mother was a saint, and she was most certainly not a sheep."

The ponychaun chuckled and replied, "Aye, but yer father smelled of elderberry. Now if we're done talking politics, would ye mind kindly REMOVIN' YER BLOODY HOOF!" His face reddened in anger and he struggled against the weight of Lucky's hoof, but to no avail.

"Not a chance. If the stories are true, then a captured ponychaun must offer his captor three wishes in order to be released."

The ponychaun laughed hysterically, "Joke's on you, boyo! I don't have me magic anymore. So unless ye just want to hold on to me for me good looks, I suggest ye let me go."

Lucky glared at his captive and asked cynically, "How could you lose your magic? Better yet, why should I believe you?"

The ponychaun rolled his eyes and explained, "Magic don't come from nothing. Unicorns need their horns to draw energy from the magic around them. No horn, no magic. As for my people, we need our crock-o-gold to fuel our magic. Mine was stolen from me last night. So now old Bilbag can't work his magic! What kind of a world do we live in nowadays?!"

Lucky pondered the little pony's explanation as he continued to rant underhoof. Lucky raised his hoof and allowed the ponychaun to stand up. Responding to the faerie's confused glance, Lucky explained, "Honestly, it doesn't matter to me if I get the wishes or not. I have a very comfortable life and I don't really need anything. So you're free to go."

The ponychaun bowed briefly and took off into the underbrush without another word. When Lucky could no longer hear the rustling he glanced around to get his bearings. Nothing but trees surrounded him in all directions. Each side looked exactly the same, and there was no way to distinguish which way led back to town. Trusting his luck, he trotted off in a random direction. He walked for several minutes; constantly scanning the area for the path back to town. Suddenly, his front hooves slipped and he tumbled tail over head into a deep muddy ditch. With no small amount of effort, Lucky pulled himself out of the ditch and wiped some of the mud off of his coat with some large leaves growing on a bush.

"That was weird," he muttered to himself, but he struck off again to find the path back home.

Snips interrupted, "Hold on. I thought you said that you got the three wishes."

Lucky smiled, "So I did. You're just going to have to let me finish the story then, aren't you?"

Snips motioned for him to continued, but he paused as a loud boom sent a tremor through his shop. The lights flickered momentarily and his tools rattled on the cart next to him.

"What was that? An earthquake?"

"No. It sounded like an explosion."

The door opened and the bell rang merrily. Snips glanced over to see a pegasus stumble in and crash to the floor. The pegasus was blackened with soot and smoke curled up from his windswept mane. Snips rushed to his side.

"Are you okay?" Snips let out a shrill whistle, "Stay with me, buddy!"

The pegasus cracked open a purple eye and coughed out a puff of dark smoke. Snips' eyes widened as he recognized his friend Rumble. After a few more coughs, Rumble rasped, "I'm okay. Just need some water."

Lucky rose out of the chair and filled a glass of water from the sink. He rushed over, careful not to trip over the barber's cape, and handed the glass to Rumble. The pegasus downed the entire glass in three large gulps, then he collapsed to the floor again. Snips started to panic, but Lucky pushed him aside. He flipped Rumble onto his back then placed his ear over Rumble's muzzle. He nodded and said, "He's breathing just fine, but he must really be really exhausted to fall asleep on the floor."

Snips relaxed visibly. Using his magic, he gently lifted Rumble's sleeping body and laid him on one of the benches. There would be time to question the pegasus when he woke up. As Snips tended to the sleeping pegasus, Lucky hopped back into the chair and spun around a few times, cheering like a foal at a carnival. Despite the last nerve wracking minutes, Snips laughed at his childish behavior.

As he walked over to wash the soot from his hooves, Snips said, "Keep going, Lucky. I'm still kind of confused about your story. Especially about how you fell into a ditch. That's not like you at all."

Lucky blushed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, there's a reason for that. I'm actually about to get to that part. Here's what happened..."

After two hours of crashing through the woods, Lucky had finally managed to make it into town. Twigs, leaves, and an absurd amount of tree sap stuck to his body, and for some reason his body started itching furiously. He scratched at the offending areas as he walked down the street, but his hooves continuously got caught on the sap and he would miss his footing. Several times he found himself face down on the cobblestone street.

Something is wrong here, He thought to himself,I have never had a day go this horribly. Ever since I got my cutie mark, it's been nothing but lucky days and smooth sailing. So far this day has been anything BUT lucky.

Lucky finally made it to his house, but there was a large wagon parked outside and several ponies were loading it with items taken from his home. Breaking into a run, Lucky slid to a halt in front of a fat greasy stallion and demanded to know what was going on.

"You Lucky Clover?" the stallion asked. Lucky nodded and he continued, "An audit turned up sayin' that yous haven't payed taxes in years. So we's repossessin' your stuff til yous pays up."

Lucky was dumbfounded, "That's absurd! I've paid my taxes every year without fail. For the love of Celestia, I even did them early last year!"

The stallion puffed on a cigar and shrugged nonchalantly. "Look buddy, I'm just doin' my job. If you got a problem, take it up with somepony who cares. Preferably somepony who's higher up than me."

The wagon had just filled up and the greasy stallion ordered the others to haul it away to sell at auction. In utter disbelief, Lucky walked through his door into his ransacked house. Little remained except the light fixtures and some furniture that was too large to move by hoof. Without anything more than a cursory glance, Lucky walked upstairs to take a shower. Hopefully the soothing water and the extra time to think would help him figure out how his luck could be so rotten all of a sudden.

As it turns out, he was wrong. The water was freezing cold and it refused to warm up. Apparently his water heater was busted. The only thing he could think about while cleaning himself was how cold the water was.

Lucky toweled himself dry, fully expecting that he would be electrocuted or slip and bang his head on the toilet. That would be just his luck; however, something unexpected happened.

"Looks like ye're havin' a rough day too, eh boyo?"

Lucky threw his towel into a clothes hamper and saw the ponychaun reclining in his bathroom sink. Without warning, Lucky turned on the faucet and watched as the impish creature sputtered under a deluge of cold water. When he cut off the water, the ponychaun shouted, "What'd ye do that for?"

"You shouldn't sneak up on ponies." He replied matter-of-factly. "Why are you here anyway?"

The ponychaun wrung the excess water out of his hat, then slapped it back on top of his head. He grinned mischievously, "Two reasons. First off, I still owe ye three wishes. Just because I don't have magic doesn't mean I'm off the hook. Second, I think we can be of use to one another."

Lucky laughed, "I highly doubt that."

"Ye think so do ye? Ye might want to take a quick gander at yer arse."

Humoring the fae creature, Lucky presented his flank and gazed at his reflection in the mirror. What he saw made his gape in horror. His cutie mark had changed! The trio of green clovers had turned brown and sickly. Whatever magic was affecting him was clearly the work of something powerful.

He snarled viciously at the intruder, "Did you do this to me?!"

The ponychaun spat back defiantly, "How do ye figure I did this with none of me own magic?" His anger quickly faded as he put on a mischievous grin, "But I can tell you who did."

Lucky brought his face dangerously close to the imp and demanded, "Tell me!"

His grin widened, "T'was the far darrig! Aye! A vicious cousin of the ponychaun. They like to play pranks on unsuspecting ponies like yerself, but sometimes they get a little carried away. They took yer luck and me gold as well."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I saw the blighter take me gold and throw ye on top of me."

Lucky shook his head. He didn't trust his strange new companion, but he couldn't deny that his luck had taken a turn for the worse. He needed answers and this little ponychaun had the only lead that sounded even semi-plausible. Sighing in resignation he stretched out a hoof and murmured, "Deal."

"Outstanding." He reached out and tapped Lucky's hoof with his own. "By the by, name's Bilbag O'Taters."

"And I'm Lucky, though you'd never guess that right now."

"Well, Lucky, it's time we get started. Where do ye wanna start lookin' first?" Bilbag leaped from the sink onto Lucky's head and disappeared into his spiky mane.

"Why are you asking me? You're the one who knows the most about these far darrig things."

Bilbag popped his head out of Lucky's mane. "Because they chose YOU. Their magic is fed by the fear and frustration of their victims. Make no mistake, they will definitely be around to make things interesting for ye. The only thing to do is go about yer daily life and keep an eye out. Most importantly, do NOT trust anypony dressed in red. I won't be able to help in the open. Nopony must know that my kind exist."

Completely out of alternatives, Lucky nodded in agreement, forcing Bilbag to grab onto his ear to prevent himself from falling off. It was definitely going to be a long day.

If he was to go about his normal day, then the first priority should be breakfast. It was a bit late, but Lucky hadn't eaten since yesterday. He tried to act casually, but his nerves were on edge. He was constantly on the lookout for any sort of bad luck or gruesome prank, and he refused to give the far darrig the satisfaction of seeing him panic. By the time he managed to slide into an open booth, he had developed a twitch in his left eye and his tail flicked erratically.

The waitress came over and took his order. She was a grumpy (bordering on hostile) dark blue pegasus with a cherry red mane and tail. Smacking her gum loudly, she stormed off to place his order.

Bilbag popped his head out and whispered in Lucky's ear, "Wonder what's got her knickers in a tizzy. I'd bet me crock it's because her arse's so big ye could park a carriage on it."

Lucky couldn't help but laugh uproariously at his companion's comment. It was crude and demeaning, but it was funny. And a tiny bit true.

When his food was finally ready, the waitress angrily slammed his pancakes on the table and stormed off. He honestly had no idea what her problem was. Looking down at his meal, he frowned when he noticed that the pancakes looked like charcoal. Most ponies wouldn't even throw food like that out for birds to eat.

He waved for the waitresses attention. She noticed him and walked over with fury in her eyes. "What do you want?" she asked.

"These pancakes are burnt. I don't even think they're edible. Would it be too much trouble to reorder a fresh batch?"

She continued to chew her gum and stare at him for a few seconds, then she said, "They look fine to me."

"They're black," Lucky deadpanned. He picked on up and dropped it on the table. It fell like a brick and cracked. "And they're hard."

She sneered in disgust and started to walk over to a nearby table, completely ignoring his request, but she stopped in her tracks as Bilbag said, none too softly, "About like the dick ye took in the alley before yer shift."

Lucky's eyes widened in horror as the waitress spun around. Fire roared in her eyes and she ground her teeth so hard Lucky was afraid they would shatter. He backed into the booth and cowered in the corner pleading, "I didn't say that! I would never say a thing like that! It was him!" He pointed to his mane, but that only made the waitress angrier. She flared her wings and grabbed a pot of coffee from another passing waitress' tray. She squeezed herself into the booth and proceeded to pour the hot liquid all over his body.

Lucky rolled onto the floor and continued to roll around until the burning sensation stopped. While he rolled around he heard the waitress yell, "I quit!" before storming out of the diner. All of the other patrons stared at him in shock and pity. A unicorn mare trotted up to him and laid a stack of napkins on the table. Genuine concern sparkled in her red eyes. She had a lemon yellow coat and a two-toned blue mane pulled into a sedate ponytail. As far as mares go, she looked homely and plain, but she seemed nice.

She said, "I'm so sorry! Here, use these to dry yourself off." She handed him a few of the napkins under the table.

The burning sensation had passed, but Lucky was still soaked and embarrassed. He gratefully accepted the napkins and replied, "Thank you. but you have nothing to apologize for. She didn't seem very stable, so I should have just kept my mouth shut."

Seeing that he was alright, she offered him a self-conscious smile. "My shift just ended. If you want to clean yourself up, I live next door."

Lucky accepted her generosity and got back onto his wobbly feet. They walked side by side out of the diner and into a small apartment building next door. The brick was crumbling and it looked like the building had seen better decades. The waitress led Lucky up a set of stairs to the third floor, where she let him into her small one bedroom apartment.

The furniture was spartan to say the least. A ragged couch in the living room, a few stools, and a wooden table were the only visible furniture. A small kitchen area made up the rest of the room.

"My name is Lemon Hearts, by the way. Go ahead and take a shower. The bathroom is connected to the bedroom. There are towels and soap already in there. Since you missed breakfast, I'll go ahead and whip something up for you while you're getting cleaned up."

Lucky trotted off into the indicated room. Remembering his manners, he poked his head around the door frame and said, "My name is Lucky Clover, but you can call me Lucky."

She smiled warmly, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lucky."

He returned to the room and glanced quickly around before walking into the bathroom. The shower was much nicer than the one he had at home. The water here was actually warm and soothing. When he mentioned his observation to Bilbag, the ponychaun replied, "Because the curse only affects you. You were the one chosen, so they aren't gonna damage some nice mare's property."

Lucky was relieved to hear that. He jumped out of the shower and proceeded to dry himself in front of the mirror. He paused as he noticed something. He stared at the sink, his eyes widening in fear. There was a toothbrush holder sitting on top of the sink. There were two brushes in it.

Oh Celestia! Please let this not mean what I think it means.

Lucky tore out of the room, tripping over the towel. His tail was still dripping wet as he crashed into the main room. Lemon Hearts gaped in horror as he looked around the room frantically. He seized her by the shoulders and asked crazily, "Lemon, are you married?"

The poor mare was terrified. She stuttered, "N-no."

Lucky exhaled slowly and slumped down to the floor. He had dodged the angry-husband-comes-home-early-from-work bullet, but Lemon was still looking at him fearfully.

He calmed down and explained, "I'm sorry, Lemon. I saw that you had two toothbrushes in your bathroom. My luck has been so bad today that I was scared you had a husband who was going to barge in and beat me to a pulp over a misunderstanding."

Understanding dawned on Lemon and she giggled. She explained, "The extra toothbrush is for my sister. She's at school right now."

"Oh," Lucky said. He started to notice some little details. The filly's drawings on the refrigerator, a box of crayons next to the couch, and a doll sitting on one of the stools. He mentally facehoofed for jumping to conclusions like that.

Without further ado, Lemon Hearts levitated a plate onto the table. She sat on one of the stools and offered the other to Lucky. The embarrassed stallion dug into the meal with gusto. The eggs and pancakes were cooked to perfection and Lucky couldn't contain a moan of pure joy with every bite.

When the plate was clean, Lemon said, "I feel bad about what Short Fuse did to you at the diner. She had been acting crazy for days now. It was just your bad luck to have her explode on you."

Lucky chuckled ironically, "Bad luck is the name of the game today. I've been through so many terrible things today that I can't help but think it's all a nightmare." He shook his head and changed the subject, "But let's talk about better things. A generous young mare offered to let me clean up in her own home. That's something. So tell me about your sister."

Lemon blushed. "Her name is Candy Hearts. She's eleven years old now. Hard to believe she's growing up so fast."

"You sound more like a mother than a sister."

Lemon's eyes lost focus as she slipped into the sea of memory. She said, "I know. Our mom died not long after she was born. Dad was a deadbeat. Having two kids, he decided to leave and find work elsewhere. He sent us money for a few years, but then it just stopped coming. That was five years ago. I got a job, sold our old home, and moved here with Candy. I've been working doubles at the diner every day since. We don't have much, but we have each other. That's all we really need anyway."

Lucky listened intently to her sad story. Despite her hardships, this mare had retained her dignity and her good nature. All he had ever done was ride on the coattails of his good luck. He drank and caroused his way through a happy life, while others had to fight to make due as life blew a raspberry in their face.

"You must really love her."

Tears glittered in her eyes as she looked at the stallion. "More than anything."

Lucky gazed back at her. How could he have thought mere minutes ago that she looked plain. Right now she was the most beautiful mare in existence. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright. He wanted to-

"Stop actin' the maggot and kiss her already, ye bloody eejit!"

The stool toppled over as Lucky shot up abruptly from his seat. Leaning against the doorway was the ponychaun. He had his front hooves crossed to show that he was clearly annoyed.

"Bilbag, what are you doing? What happened to 'nopony must see me'?"

Lemon stared in shocked silence as Bilbag responded, "What was I ta do if ye left me in the bog?"

Lemon fainted and crashed to the floor. Lucky sighed and hoisted her onto his back. He gently walked her over to the couch and deposited her on it. He found a blanket neatly folded at the end of the couch and threw it over her. With any luck, she would think it was all just a dream.

Yeah, right! Like he would trust his luck today!

Lucky picked up the ponychaun and placed him in his mane. They were about to trot out the door when he heard Lemon shift slightly in her sleep. Lucky turned back inside to make sure she was still asleep. He reached down and kissed her softly on the forehead, then left with a whispered, "Thank you."

After all the excitement, Lucky felt like a nap was in order as well. He walked home and found that his bed and his couch had been taken by the repo stallions. With an exasperated groan he laid down on an old rug and tried to get some sleep. As he slept, he heard whispers in his mind. Laughing and screaming simultaneously. Squelching, grinding, popping, groaning! All manner of sick sounds played through his head, and the laughter persisted through it all.

He opened his eyes to see that it was already early evening. He had managed to sleep for a full eight hours. As he rose off of the rug, he heard his joints pop and his neck felt sore. Even through he slept for a long time, he didn't feel rested.

"Bout time ye woke up."

Bilbag was on the counter. His back was leaned up against a jug of water and he was smoking a long pipe (relative to his size of course).

Stretching, Lucky said, "Well, since we wasted the whole day, why don't we hit the pub and see if any of my friends can give us a lead."

Bilbag's eyes gleamed. "Aye, sounds perfect. I could use a drink or thirty."

He jumped onto Lucky's head as he responded, "You and me both."

"Look on the bright side, boyo. At least you get the privilege of my pleasurable company!" They both laughed and headed out the door.

Lucky walked into the pub to a round of cheering from the other patrons. In a small town like Ponyville, you get to know all the regulars very well. He walked over to the bar and sat on one of the stools. Half-Pint, the bartender, greeted him warmly.

Half-Pint was an older stallion with a thick white mustache and a bowler hat. He was a fair bit shorter than most stallions, but he made up for it with his big smile and giant's charisma. Everypony loved the old timer, and in turn, he treated them like his children.

Without even asking, he slapped a full mug of dark beer right in front of Lucky. He thanked the stallion and took a few deep pulls, draining half of it. He slammed the mug back down on the bar and groaned in relief. Lucky was about to bring it to his lips again when Bilbag leaped from his mane and dove straight into the mug screaming, "Here I come, sweet beautiful black stuff!"

He landed in the mug with a huge splash. Luckily, it didn't splash on Lucky. Unluckily, it did splash somepony else. A burly earth pony stallion with a spiked mane and numerous piercings sat beside him. The stallion turned to face Lucky with a glare. Beer dripped down his face. Without a word, he reared back and punched Lucky clear off his bar stool. The band stopped playing as everypony watched the scene in front of them.

Suddenly, the fiddler struck a lively tune and the pub fell into chaos.

Pitchers, mugs, hooves, and chairs flew as the rowdy ponies erupted into an all out bar fight. Friends who had been happily joking moments before were pounding on their neighbors. Through the chaos the band continued to play. Even when a pegasus was flung into the drummer, the fight continued to the sound of the fiddle and the singer.

The stranger who had decked him earlier stood up from his stool and walked over to Lucky. He picked him up and slammed him on the bar. Without relinquishing his grip, the stranger dragged Lucky across the bar, crashing him into every mug and tankard on the bar. When he came to the end of the bar, he heaved mightily and flung Lucky into the crowd of brawling ponies.

He saw a mare jump on a stallion's back and try to beat him with an empty tankard. Two stallions grappled on top of a table before turning it over and spilling into the crowd. The dance floor was a reeling sea of violence, and Lucky was right in the middle of it. He would have to fight his way through to the door. That was his only hope of getting out alive. He sank as far to the floor as he possibly could and crawled through the crowd. He almost made it to the end before somepony tripped over him and knocked over a table that was covered with pitchers of beer. The pitchers went flying and splashed everypony brawling on the dance floor. The sudden deluge only enraged the fighters. At this point the police were starting to stream in through the door and Half-Pint was defending himself with a scuffed up bat that looked as if it was a veteran of dozens of bar skirmishes.

Lucky just stayed down and scanned the floor for any sign of Bilbag. After a few sweeps he noticed a mug on the floor inching itself toward the exit. Lucky picked himself up and scrambled to the mug. He dodged ponies and flying glass. At one point he even had to dodge a nightstick that was swung at his head. With only a few more cuts and bruises he caught the mug in his teeth and bolted out the door. The police were too busy dealing with the brawling bar patrons to notice him slip out.

Lucky turned the corner into a deserted alley. He abruptly turned over the mug to see Bilbag safely inside. The ponychaun staggered a bit in the bottom of the mug, but he seemed unhurt. He hiccuped loudly and slurred, "You ponysh sure know how tah passh a time."

Lucky rolled his eyes at his companions drunkenness and dunked the mug into a nearby water barrel. Bilbag breached the surface of the deep mug and sputtered. Hopefully that would be enough of a shock to start sobering him up. Lucky fished him out and placed the wet ponychaun in his mane once again. He was already wet anyway, so it didn't really matter much.

Leaving the alley he noticed someone standing under a lone streetlight. The figure wore a coarse brown cloak with the hood pulled up. When the figure turned, her muzzle caught the light revealing red fur and a malicious grin. It was the same mare he saw in the woods! She turned and ran down a dirt path leading out of town.

Lucky chased after her. She was the best lead that he had so far, and with Bilbag out of commision, she was his best hope of getting his luck back.

He followed her down the dirt path, passing fields and meadows. Even in the dark he knew exactly where the path led. They were on their way to Froggy Bottom Bog. Already the smell of mud and decay was assailing his nostrils, but still his target fled into the bog. The trees became sparse and the grass became soft and springy. Soon it was just a few patches of sod resting in the muddy water.

The cloaked figure bounded across the few dry patches that remained and vanished through a veil of trees. Lucky struggled to match her footing exactly, but he slipped and landed in the fetid water. He struggled with all his might and managed to pull himself onto solid ground. He slipped through the trees as his target did, but when he came out the other side she was nowhere in sight. Lucky paused as movement caught his eye. Not far from his position stood an old wooden shack. The movement that caught his attention was the door slowly closing. She went inside.

Lucky crept along the treeline as quietly as he could manage. He tried to peek in through the windows, but they were all boarded up from the inside. He sneaked stealthily to the door and gently nudged it open. Looking inside, he noticed the hooded mare sitting on a chair by a cold fireplace. The only light came from a single candle burning on a table beside the seated figure.

Gathering his courage, Lucky charged into the room demanding, "Alright lady, what did you do with my luck?"

The mare didn't respond, but Bilbag popped out of his mane screaming, "Lucky, run for it! It's a trap!" Three things happened. The door slammed shut of its own accord. A floating jar swooped down and captured Bilbag directly off Lucky's head. And the seated mare blew out the candle, plunging them into darkness.

Lucky scrambled in the dark, calling for his missing companion. The only response was the echo of many voices from around the room. Lucky cringed as the unidentifiable voices came closer and closer. Lucky felt the floor fall under his hooves as he plummeted down into the dark void.

As suddenly as the falling sensation started, it stopped. Lucky refused to open his eyes, instead relying on his other senses. He felt cold stone beneath his hooves. At least he was somewhere solid. A chill whipped through the air, biting under his fur. All he could hear was the whistling of the sudden wind and the fading echoes of laughter. Sensing no immediate danger, he braced himself and opened his eyes. He was standing on a wide ledge halfway up a snow covered mountain. Wind and ice whipped across his face and his eyes started to sting from the cold.

A voice spoke in his head. It sounded sweet, chiming with a foalish innocence. Its words, however, betrayed its intentions. "Welcome, Lucky! We've been watching you. We all think you're really funny."

"What have you done with Bilbag? And what about my luck?"

"Telling you would be no fun." The voice pouted.

"Please, let me help him." Lucky pleaded.

The voice relented, "Fine. He's at the top of the mountain."

Lucky craned his neck to gaze up at the towering peak. He would have to scale the treacherous mountain freehoofed if he was to rescue his companion. He shifted his gaze off the side of the ledge and gaped at the dizzying drop below.

"Did I forget to mention that your luck is at the bottom of the mountain?" The voice giggled.

Lucky shifted his gaze between the peak and the base. In his mind there was no contest. He knew what the right thing to do was. Lucky steeled himself and set a hoof into the rock above him. With that first step he proceeded to pull his way up the mountain. He hugged the rocky slope as the icy wind threatened to peel him from the mountain's weathered face. Sweat dripped from his brow, but it froze again before it had time to roll off his body. His teeth chattered and every muscle strained from the exertion, but he refused to give up. He refused to give up on Bilbag. Even if he would never get his luck back, he would ensure that his friend would live. He grit his teeth and kept pushing forward.

After an indiscernible time of grueling climbing, Lucky finally pulled himself over the lip of the cliff and pulled himself onto the top of the peak. A single rock rose out of the flat ridge and on that rock was a jar. Inside that jar was Bilbag, huddled against the cold.

Lucky felt completely drained; both his physical and mental reserves had been exhausted. His eyes were glazed over and his breathing was ragged and irregular. It was only through sheer will power that he staggered to the jar and smashed it against the rock. Lucky collapsed on the cold ground, thinking, all I need is a short nap. I guess I don't even feel the cold anymore. The snow feels warm and comfortable like a soft blanket. I'll just close my eyes for a second.

He had just closed his eyes as Bilbag jumped onto his mane. He pulled one of Lucky's ears and shouted something in a language Lucky didn't understand. He continued to shout it with all his might, but Lucky was fading fast. Just as he was about to drift off, Lucky mumbled his friend's words, "Na dean maggadh fum."

The laughing increased as the world swirled around the pair. Lucky felt his energy being restored and he opened his eyes. Sunlight streamed through the open door of the shack. Lucky was lying on the floor with Bilbag resting against his barrel. The mysterious hooded mare stood before him, staring down at the pair. With a smile she threw back her hood.

The cloak disappeared in a puff of red smoke and the mare shrank until she was about the size of Bilbag. She had a pale yellow coat with a flowing curly red mane. The rest of her body was obscured by an exquisite red cloak embroidered with gold thread. She bowed to Lucky and said in her sweet voice, "Nook, at your service."

Lucky was very confused. "I was freezing to death on a mountain, but now I'm back here. What are you and what did you do to us?"

"I just told you, my name is Nook. I'm a far darrig if that's what you're asking. As for what I did, I gave you a little test."

Lucky glared at the now miniature pony. His voice dripped with venom, "What do you mean by a test?"

Nook jumped around gleefully, completely oblivious to Lucky's anger. "I took something important to you. Then I brought you here and gave you a choice. You could sacrifice the thing you loved most for your friend or leave him to his fate and guarantee your own safety. Looks like you passed."

"So all of that-"

"Just a dream."

"And dying on top of the mountain was-"

"You were never in danger."

"Why did you do this?"

Bilbag pointed an accusing hoof at Nook. He spat, "I told ye the far darrig feed on pain and suffering. This bloody harpy will skin ye alive and use yer pelt for a rug. Not tah mention she stole me crock."

Nook sighed heavily, "Bilby, do you remember where you hid your gold last night?"

"Well, I-"

"You drank too much and asked me to remind you in the morning. Check the fireplace."

The ponychaun trained his gaze on the red cloaked faerie and backed slowly into the fireplace. After a moment the other two heard him cry, "I'll be buggered!" and a cloud of soot rained down from the chimney. He walked out of the fireplace, completely black with soot, with a pot brimming with gold held in his teeth. With a quick shake, he dislodged the soot and started running his hooves through his gold. He even started rubbing some of the pieces against his cheek as if they were his long lost children.

Nook turned to Lucky and said, "I'm sorry for all the trouble, but Bilby is right about one thing. My magic runs on fear and pain. I hate having to do stuff like this, but it's the only way to keep my powers functioning properly. You understand, right?"

As much as he hated to admit it, Lucky did understand. Lemon Hearts had taught him that sometimes a pony has to do things they don't like to get by, but they can still hold on to their good nature. Lucky smiled and said, "I just want my luck back. Can you do that for me?"

Nook smiled and grabbed his foreleg in a tight hug. She replied, "And then some! You'll be even luckier than ever."

Lucky shook his head, "No thanks. I was happy with the luck I had. Besides, the things you work for are ten times better than anything that's given to you."

Nook grinned happily and squeezed his leg one more time. This time, a tingling sensation crept up his leg and wandered down his back to his flank. When he looked around, the clovers on his flank were back to their usual lush green.

Nook released his leg and sauntered over to Bilbag. She gave him a quick nuzzle and disappeared in a puff of red smoke. Bilbag's face turned beet red at the display of affection. Lucky laughed and chided, "So what is going on between you two?"

Bilbag sputtered, "She's just some crazy lass what follows me around." He gestured for Lucky to lean in closer and whispered conspiratorially, "Between you and me, she does have one fine-" He never finished his sentence as his hat was torn off by an invisible force and jammed right into his mouth.

He spat it out and cursed, "I'll get ye fer this ye bleedin' banshee!" Nook's laughter echoed through the room and quickly faded away.

Bilbag coughed and nudged Lucky, "Anywho, ye still have three wishes, boyo. Ye caught me fair and square."

Lucky deliberated and made a decision. He said, "Bilbag, can you do that thing that Nook did? Where she made herself look like a regular pony?"

Bilbag blinked, "Aye."

"Good, then I know what my first wish is going to be."

"...and that's how it happened."

Snips had a hard time believing this one. Of all the stories that he had heard, this one was by far the most unlikely. If Pinkie hadn't shown up to confirm Flim and Flam's story, he would have written it off as the ramblings of two charlatans. Lucky was nothing like that. Sure he liked to hit the pubs a little too often, but he was a good guy and an upstanding citizen. He wouldn't fabricate a story that crazy for nothing.

Ding! A-ling!

Snips looked up to see a yellow mare poke her head in through the door. Seeing Lucky, she walked right in with a little filly next to her. The filly had a pink coat and her mane had white and red streaks like a candy cane.

"Hey, Lemon! It'll just be a minute. I think Snips is almost finished."

The little filly poked the mare's shoulder and asked, "Hey, sis, why is that stallion sleeping on that bench. And why does he look like burnt toast?"

"Candy, it's not nice to point at ponies."

With one final clip, Snips was done. He whipped the cape off of Lucky and collected all the displaced hair with his magic. Lucky hugged the mare and introduced her to Snips.

"Snips, this is my marefriend Lemon Hearts and her sister Candy Hearts."

Snips gave a shallow bow that he reserved for greeting mares and said, "Lucky was just telling me about you and your sister. It's a pleasure to meet both of you."

Lemon smiled warmly at him. Candy was smiling as well, but she was focused on the spinning barber's pole outside. Lemon said, "We need to get going, Lucky. Your friends are already waiting outside and I know Candy has been waiting for this picnic all week."

Snips glanced outside to see two ponies standing outside the shop. One of them was wearing an intricately woven red cloak. The other wore a green tailcoat and puffed on a long pipe. A wicker basket was balanced on his back. Lucky bid him farewell and joined his friends outside. Their party walked off, but the stallion in green paused momentarily at the window. He gazed in and caught Snips eye. He gave him a sly wink, then followed after his friend.

Maybe I should spend more time in Whitetail Wood, Snips thought.

Suddenly, Rumble sat up on the bench and groaned, "Ow, my head."

"Dude, what happened to you?"

Rumble re-positioned himself to make himself more comfortable, then he said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Snips couldn't help but smirk. After the stories he'd heard today, he doubted anything could phase him.

"Try me."