//------------------------------// // Super Manly Bro Hug Time!(18) // Story: Snowflame's Cocaine and/or Coffee Fueled Misadventures in Equestria (Comment Driven Story) // by KenSES64 //------------------------------// Luna: Go deeper. In the Dreamscape, Luna addresses the other human first. Luna: I am Princess Luna of Equestria, who are you? Warrior: I am the Ultimate Warrior, disciple of Destrucity and eventual Heavy Weight Champion of the WWF, AND THE UNIVERSE!!!! (Images in the background flicker showing the Warrior fighting Macho Man, Iron Sheik, and others), Luna has no idea what any of that means. Luna: Okaaaaayyyyy.... Well why did you crash your ship into our castle and attack Snowflame? Warrior: I had to defeat him in order to call upon the power of the gods and defeat Hoke Hogan!!! Their siren call burned through my thoughts like hot sauce, so I answered them their phone line from Hell! It seems the battle was a tie though, and that weak sauce apparently can't cut it. Luna looks over at Snowflame for an explanation Snowflame: Don't ask Snowflame, all Snowflame knows is he crashed into the Star Trek guy and wanted to fight so he can have confidence to fight Hulk Hogan, and that sounded like fun. Luna: Alright, who is this Hulk Hogan? Snowflame: His archenemy or something. Still wish I had one. (Sigh) Images of Hulk Hogan defeating the Ultimate Warrior and others are shown while "Real American" plays (Hulk Hogan's Theme) (The Warrior is upset and tips the table over. Warrior: HE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!! I WILL BRING HIM CRASHING DOWN LIKE SO MANY PINK FLUFFY PINATAS IN THE PAST. HE WILL FALL BY MY HAND....(Looks down in sadness) ONE DAY!!! Luna backs up a bit in fear Snowflame: Whoa! Snowflame thinks you should take a chill pill! Warrior: I CAN'T, DON'T YOU SEE BIG RED LOBSTER MAN? I FAILED TO DESTROY YOU, NOW THE GOD'S WON'T GIVE ME THEIR SUGARY GOODNESS POWERS. I WILL ONLY LOSE TO HIM AGAIN!!! Snowflame knew what it was like to be defeated, and his time in Equestria taught him one thing, Hugs Solve Everything. Warrior: What are you doing? That isn't the proper way to do a power slam! Snowflame: It's a hug bro, you just need to hug it out. Warrior: I don't know if I can, this feels really weird! Snowflame: It's OK, Hugs are good. The colorful ponies taught Snowflame this. It's helpful for friends to do. Warrior: Friend? The Warrior knows not the meaning of this word! Snowflame: Friends are good, they listen to your problems and help you. Warrior: But we just fought and knocked each other out! Snowflame: Ya, that's why Snowflame considers you a friend, you are a tough cookie, and your powers are on par with the power of Cocaine. Snowflame likes that, plus you're the only other human here. Warrior: The Ultimate Warrior feels something, deep inside, like giant butterflies attacking the Tokyo of my soul! Snowflame: That's the magic of friendship, better than any drug except for Cocaine. That's why Snowflame decided to live here, because Snowflame learned that if you’re taking over a small Central American military complex, it’s more meaningful when you’re taking it over with a friend. The beauty of those words hit the Ultimate Warrior right in his gooey center. He hugged Snowflame back and started crying manly tears on his shoulder. Warrior: It's not fair how he is the face of wrestling, I still have all my hair and I get nothing! Snowflame got teary eyed himself Snowflame: Snowflame knows your pain, Snowflame didn't get to be in the Injustice game or in Scribblenauts Unmasked. They both cry into each other's shoulders while "Why Can't We Be Friends" plays and Luna looks at them in awe and confusion. Luna: OK, what just happened here? In the Dreamscape, Luna decided to addresse the other human first. "I am Princess Luna of Equestria, who are you?" "I am the Ultimate Warrior, disciple of Destrucity and eventual Heavy Weight Champion of the WWF, AND THE UNIVERSE!!!!" After he said that images in the background flicker showing the Warrior fighting several other humans, Luna has no idea what any of that means, yet got the feeling that one of his opponents saved the human race, but wasn't sure why. "Okaaaaayyyyy.... Well why did you crash your ship into our castle and attack Snowflame?" "I had to defeat him in order to call upon the power of the gods and defeat Hoke Hogan!!! Their siren call burned through my thoughts like hot sauce, so I answered them their phone line from Hell! It seems the battle was a tie though, and that weak sauce apparently can't cut it." Luna in confusion looks over at Snowflame for an explanation, seeing that he seemed to be the more sane out of the two, and that's saying a lot. "Don't ask Snowflame, all Snowflame knows is he crashed into the Star Trek guy and wanted to fight so he can have confidence to fight Hulk Hogan, and that sounded like fun." Snowflame said. "Alright, who is this Hulk Hogan?" Luna asked. "His archenemy or something. Still wish I had one." Snowflame said with a sigh. That's when images of a human with a blond handlebar mustache, dressed in yellow and red defeating the Ultimate Warrior and others shown before appeared while some music plays. The Warriorgets an upset look and tips over the table, "HE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!! I WILL BRING HIM CRASHING DOWN LIKE SO MANY PINK FLUFFY PINATAS IN THE PAST. HE WILL FALL BY MY HAND...." he looks down in sadness "ONE DAY!!!" Luna backs up a bit in fear. "Whoa! Snowflame thinks you should take a chill pill!" Snowflame says putting up his hands. "I CAN'T, DON'T YOU SEE BIG RED LOBSTER MAN? I FAILED TO DESTROY YOU, NOW THE GOD'S WON'T GIVE ME THEIR SUGARY GOODNESS POWERS. I WILL ONLY LOSE TO HIM AGAIN!!!" Snowflame knew what it was like to be defeated, and his time in Equestria taught him one thing, Hugs Solve Everything. So he wrapped his arms around The Warrior. "What are you doing? That isn't the proper way to do a power slam!" "It's a hug bro, you just need to hug it out." "I don't know if I can, this feels really weird!" "It's OK, Hugs are good. The colorful ponies taught Snowflame this. It's helpful for friends to do." "Friend? The Warrior knows not the meaning of this word!" "Friends are good, they listen to your problems and help you." "But we just fought and knocked each other out!" "Ya, that's why Snowflame considers you a friend, you are a tough cookie, and your powers are on par with the power of Cocaine. Snowflame likes that, plus you're the only other human here." "The Ultimate Warrior feels something, deep inside, like giant butterflies attacking the Tokyo of my soul!" "That's the magic of friendship, better than any drug except for Cocaine. That's why Snowflame decided to live here, because Snowflame learned that if you’re taking over a small Central American military complex, it’s more fun and meaningful when you’re taking it over with a friend." The beauty of those words hit the Ultimate Warrior right in his gooey center. He hugged Snowflame back and started crying manly tears on his shoulder. "It's not fair how he is the face of wrestling, I still have all my hair and I get nothing!" Snowflame gets a little teary eyed himself, "Snowflame knows your pain, Snowflame didn't get to be in the Injustice game or in Scribblenauts Unmasked. Why is that? Does Warner Brothers just hate Cocaine or something? Snowflame means it's a movie studio for Cocaine's sake!" They both cry into each other's shoulders while some new music plays. Luna looks at them in awe and confusion "OK, what just happened here?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Meanwhile... Back in the Castle, Discord leads the ponies to his bedroom. He is wearing two dolphins as shoes as he glides along through the air. Discord: I can never get these things to stop squeaking, ha ha ha. Rainbow Dash: Ha Ha, very funny (she says sarcastically) Discord: Hey at least my fashion sense doesn't scream "Please Notice Me, I'm Very Lonely!" Rainbow Dash: It's a Wedding Dress! And hurry this up, I gotta get back before it ends! Discord: No need, it's been called on account of rain (he smiles mischievously and snaps his fingers) Rainbow Dash: What did you do? Discord: I delayed the wedding for a few days and gave you extra time so you can hang with me and your friends At the Wedding, Fish start falling from nowhere on the guests. Soarin looks at Spitfire and sighs. Soarin: I knew we shouldn't have invited Rainbow Dash. First that weird hairless monkey and now this. Weird stuff always happens when her and her friends are around. Spitfire: OK fine you were right. We'll do this again tomorrow, and take her off the guest list. Back at the Castle Discord: Everything will be alright Rainbow Dash: Fine Discord: Now I will tell you the tale of how I was almost killed today. Fluttershy: Oh My. Discord: Well you see, this big hunk of metal came crashing down on my dome, then I fell to the ground believing I would die, and that's where Tia felt so sorry for me that she decided to do filthy, indecent, very enjoyable things to me... Twilight: TMI! TMI! (the others just looked embarrassed and disgusted) Discord: ...which I will not go into detail about in present company, but suffice to say, it worked (Return of the Shit Eating Grin) Twilight: Uggghhh, Let's just move on and look at the ship. Dash: Looks like somepony owes me twenty bits (She looks at Rarity and Applejack) As they enter Discord's room, they all gasp in awe Twilight: Look at it, the technology is far more advanced than our own Dash: And it looks soooo cool. Pinkie: IT'S AMAZING! I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE TO WITNESS SOMETHING THIS MAGNIFICENT, AND NOW MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!! Twilight: I didn't know you liked technology that much Pink... She turns around and sees Pinkie swimming in Discord's chocolate swimming pool with graham cracker pool toys and marshmallow floaties. Pinkie: I'M IN HEAVEN!!! Twilight rolls her eyes and returns her attention back to the ship. Twilight: It looks heavily damaged, I don't know if it's in working condition or not. Applejack: Well at least that other hairless monkey ain't goin anywhere. Twilight: That might not be a good thing if downtown Canterlot is anything to go by. Discord: Hey it could be worse Twilight: How so? Discord: Could be raining (Snap) Frogs start falling from the roof onto them. Mane 6: Discord! Back in the Castle, Discord leads the ponies to his bedroom. He is wearing two dolphins as shoes as he glides along through the air. "I can never get these things to stop squeaking." He says, laughing. "Ha Ha, very funny." Rainbow Dash says sarcastically. "Hey at least my fashion sense doesn't scream "Please Notice Me, I'm Very Lonely!" "It's for a wedding! And hurry this up, I gotta get back before it ends!" "No need, it's been called on account of rain." He smiles mischievously and snaps his fingers. "What did you do?" "I delayed the wedding for a few days and gave you extra time so you can hang with me and your friends." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Meanwhile at Cloudsdale... At the Wedding, Fish start falling from nowhere on the guests. Soarin looks at Spitfire and sighs. "I knew we shouldn't have invited Rainbow Dash. First that weird hairless monkey and now this. Weird stuff always happens when her and her friends are around." "OK fine you were right. We'll do this again tomorrow, and take her off the guest list." Spitfire says before having a troat land in her mane. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back at the Castle... "Everything will be alright." Discord said. "Fine." Rainbow responds. "Now I will tell you the tale of how I was almost killed today." "Oh My." Fluttershy said. "Well you see, this big hunk of metal came crashing down on my dome, then I fell to the ground believing I would die, and that's where Tia felt so sorry for me that she decided to do filthy, indecent, very enjoyable things to me..." "TO MUCH INFORMATION!" Twilight shouts. " ...which I will not go into detail about in present company, but suffice to say, it worked." Discord finishes saying with a grin. "Uggghhh, Let's just move on and look at the ship." Rainbow Dash flys up to Applejack and Rarity, "Looks like somepony owes me twenty bits.", as they enter Discord's room, they all gasp in awe "Look at it, the technology is far more advanced than our own!" Twilight says in wonder. "And it looks soooo cool." Rainbow Dash adds. "Really? So cool? You didn't do the thing?" Discord asks. "IT'S AMAZING! I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE TO WITNESS SOMETHING THIS MAGNIFICENT, AND NOW MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!" Pinkie Pie shouts. I didn't know you liked technology that much Pink..." Twilight began to say before she turned around and sees Pinkie swimming in a chocolate swimming pool with graham cracker pool toys and marshmallow floaties. "I'M IN HEAVEN!!!" The Pink mare shouts. Twilight rolls her eyes and returns her attention back to the ship. "It looks heavily damaged, I don't know if it's in working condition or not." "Well at least that other hairless monkey ain't goin anywhere." "That might not be a good thing if downtown Canterlot is anything to go by." "Hey it could be worse." Discord says. "How so?" "Could be raining." He says with snap of his fingers. Then frogs start falling from the roof onto them. "Discord!" All six mares shout. Discord: Be Carrot Top Then Discord snaps his figures making a huge cloud of smoke around himself. When it cleared he now looked like a human with a large orange afro and wearing a tank top. "I know this probably isn't what Razor meant, but I don't care." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the Canterlot Garden... In the Gardens Celestia: Doctor, I was wondering when you'd be back for the TARDIS. Time Turner: Your Majesty (He bows) Celestia is confused Celestia: Please, rise Doctor, you don't have to bow. He looks at Derpy and she nods, and she seems nervous. Derpy: Well nice catching up with you Princess, but we gotta take the box and go, See Ya, She tries to go inside, but is stopped by Celestia Celestia: Wait, I need you and the Doctor to come look at something Time Turner: Doctor? Doctor Who? Celestia: Excuse me? Derpy: I can explain (She goes up and whispers into Celestia's ear) Derpy: Ok, when Discord teleported us yesterday, he erased the Doctor's memory and now he thinks that he is named Time Turner and that I am his marefriend, and this morning he asked me to marry him, and I know it's wrong, but I do love him and I said yes and now we have plans for a double wedding with a Minotaur and a unicorn, but then we heard about Aliens, so I rushed him here to get the Tardis in case it was in harms way. Celestia took all that in Celestia: Wow, You've been busy. Derpy: I know Celestia: I can't say I approve of your dishonesty Derpy: I know (Head Down in Shame) Celestia: (Pranking Smile Engaged) But...I do believe that settling down, for awhile at least, would be good for him Derpy: Huh? Celestia: Well he is rambunctious, and he has gotten on my nerves over the last thousand years just as many times as he has helped, so I think he needs a bit of a vacation, and by Vacation, I mean getting hitched. Derpy: Oh, when you say it like that, it sounds kinda mean Celestia: No it's not Derpy: I never thought of it like that...OK then. Celestia: I'll bring back his memory eventually, but until then, have fun. She turns back to "Time Turner" Celestia: Sorry about that Turner, I know you hate that Nickname, I'll send you back now. Celestia transports him, Derpy and the TARDIS back into Ponyville. One of Celestia's guards walks up. Guard: That was incredibly messed up Celestia: I still haven't forgiven him for the Cake shortage 200 years ago, this is payback (Sinister Prank Face) Guard rolls his eyes Guard: Whatever you say ma'am. Back in Ponyville Time Turner: So My nickname is the Doctor? Derpy: Eyup. Celestia walks up to The Doctor and says, "Doctor, I was wondering when you'd be back for the TARDIS." "Your Majesty." "Time Turner" says, bowing to her. Celestia is confused by this seeing that The Doctor doesn't normally bow to her, "Please, rise Doctor, you don't have to bow." He looks at Derpy and who gives a nervous nod. "Well nice catching up with you Princess, but we gotta take the box and go, See Ya. Derpy says, trying to go inside, but is stopped by Celestia "Wait, I need you and the Doctor to come look at something." "Doctor? Doctor Who?" "Time Turner" asks. In the distance they heard a single laugh that sounded like it came from Discord. "Excuse me?" "I can explain." Derpy says going up and whispering into Celestia's ear. "Ok, when Discord teleported us yesterday, he erased the Doctor's memory and now he thinks that he is named Time Turner and that I am his marefriend, and this morning he asked me to marry him, and I know it's wrong, but I do love him and I said yes and now we might plans for a double wedding with a Minotaur and a unicorn, but then we heard about Aliens, so I rushed him here to get the Tardis in case it was in harms way." Celestia took all that in and says "Wow, You've been busy." "I know." "I can't say I approve of your dishonesty." "I know." She puts her head down in shame. "But..." Celestia says with a smirk that Discord would be proud of, "I do believe that settling down, for awhile at least, would be good for him." "Huh?" "Well he is rambunctious, and he has gotten on my nerves over the last thousand years just as many times as he has helped, so I think he needs a bit of a vacation, and by Vacation, I mean getting hitched." "Oh, when you say it like that, it sounds kinda mean." "No it's not." "I never thought of it like that...OK then." "I'll bring back his memory eventually, but until then, have fun." She turns back to "Time Turner", "Sorry about that Turner, I know you hate that Nickname, I'll send you back now." Celestia uses a teleport spell to transports "Time Turner", Derpy and the TARDIS back to Ponyville. Then one of Celestia's guards walks up. "Not to sound rude Princess, but that was kinda messed up." "I still haven't forgiven him for the Cake shortage 200 years ago, this is payback." Guard rolls his eyes, "Whatever you say ma'am." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back in Ponyville "So My nickname is the Doctor?" "Time Turner asks. "Eeyup." Derpy responds. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Meanwhile at the *insert term for Mental Hospital here* In the Nut House, Blueblood and the others receive medication. Blueblood: What are these? Disco Dance: Chewy bits of oats and cheerios! Zant: Oh they're wonderful, they make all your 37 split personalities shut up for a few minutes. Blueblood: I refuse to take these then, I'M NOT INSANE!!! The nurses force him to swallow the pills and almost instantly his eyes dilate and he starts whistling a happy tune. He then listens to Zant ranting for over an hour and being mesmorized by what he says Zant: My Kidney's talk to me, one of them speaks Spanish Blueblood: Amazing! Zant: And there are leprechauns in my nostrils, but they don't say anything. I'm on to them, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE DAMNIT!!! Blueblood: Fascinating (Drugged Smile on his face) Zant: Would you like to here about the time I took a dark god's power and conquered an entire kingdom? Blueblood: Yes, please. Prince Blueblood and the others are given some medication. "What are these?" Blueblood asks. "Chewy bits of oats and cheerios!" Disco Dance shouts. "Oh they're wonderful, they make all your 37 split personalities shut up for a few minutes." Zant answers. "I refuse to take these then, I'M NOT INSANE!!!" Blueblood shouts, but a nurse forces him to swallow the pills and almost instantly his eyes dilate and he starts whistling a happy tune He then listens to Zant ranting for over an hour and being mesmorized by what he says, "My Kidney's talk to me, one of them speaks Spanish." "Amazing!" Blueblood said with a drugged out smile on his face. "And there are leprechauns in my nostrils, but they don't say anything. I'm on to them, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE DAMNIT!!!" "Fascinating." "Would you like to here about the time I took a dark god's power and conquered an entire kingdom?" "Yes, please."