//------------------------------// // A Time for Tea // Story: Trixie vs. Equestria // by PaulAsaran //------------------------------// Trixie didn’t know how long she’d been in the caves. Long enough for her stomach to be screaming in protest, for sure. Despite her hunger, she didn’t want to return to the surface yet. She didn’t trust anypony up there, but it was clear she had to do something. Choose a side? Stay on her own? Fleeing was out of the question, for the rest of her opponents would come after her regardless. She had no intention of hiding from them. She spent much of her time at the tomb of Twilight, thinking on what to do next and trying to recall every detail of the one conversation she'd had with her. If there was any direction she wanted to follow, it was Twilight's. But she couldn’t last without food, so she returned to the slums a few times. Given the reputation of the place, she kept a close eye out for threats, yet nopony approached. Indeed, they all seemed afraid of her. She never let her guard down – she’d been hurt one time too many for that – but she was still relieved to realize that she was going to be left alone. Finding some food, on the other hoof, was a trick unto itself. She had no bits, but that didn’t matter as the ponies in the slums preferred bartering. She was broke even by their standards. After much wandering she discovered the three streams that made up the water supply in the slums. One was little more than a cesspool, the other two were ‘claimed’ by local gangs. With no other option, she approached one, looking to see what she might do to gain some water – and food. The ponies were rude, mean and grimy. They clearly had no intention of letting her pass. When she asked if there was some deal they could strike, one of the stallions made some advances that were far from welcome. Her sour mood, hunger and thirst put Trixie on a short fuse; she blasted him with a wind spell that sent him sailing to the other side of the lake. The others let her in after that. Gave her some food, too. Any other time, Trixie might have declined the free meal, even if it was just stale bread and some ageing, squishy pears. She was in no position to refuse, though, and when she left she took enough pears and water to last her a while. They even gave her the saddle of the stallion she’d sent packing to carry the load. Though they did all this, they also warned her that her actions would catch the attention of The Gentlepony. She recalled Amethyst mentioning him once. She asked about him, but all they would explain was that he was the most powerful pony in the slums, ergo having his attention probably wasn’t in her best interest. She didn’t know if their warnings were valid, but she had decided to be cautious from then on. She stayed in the caves near Twilight’s tomb for some time, pondering her future. Whenever she grew tired of that she’d head to the slums and simply watch the life of these poor, pathetic ponies. They were all hungry, surviving on the dregs of the society above them. She eventually discovered some tunnels leading to the surface, and learned from some of the less-mean ponies that soldiers would escort a convoy of food once a week for the ponies below. It was their only sustenance, and it clearly wasn’t enough for everypony. Vicious gangs, rampant violence, constant hunger. Sickness, no authority, no law. It was a land of anarchy, the only semblance of order coming from the knowledge that they couldn’t go to the city above, and had no place to go outside of it. Trixie recalled Luna’s claim that there were places like this in every major city, and she felt inclined to believe it. The only question was: why? When she slept, she always did it under the silent watch of Twilight. Sleeping with the others hardly seemed safe, especially after she’d witnessed a group of ponies gang up on a sleeping pegasus in one of those blanket fields. Even so, sleeping in the caves didn't feel safe, either; she just knew somepony would come for her in her sleep. Maybe it was paranoia. Were the hoofsteps in the caves her imagination? What about the whispers? The occasional flash of color in the reflective crystals often made her think somepony was watching her from around corners. There was no telling who might have followed her into the dark caves, and she was always on alert. When sleep did come, it was fleeting. She kept awaking to faint noises. Sometimes, while lying on the hard floor and trying to fall asleep, she would stare up into the unconscious face of Twilight…and wonder. What had she really wanted? What had she done to deserve such a fate? How could Trixie change things so nopony else shared her demise? What would Twilight have done about the slums, had she been able? Why was she looking to Twilight for answers? Because she’d seemed so desperate? Because she couldn’t doubt the word of a pony in such distress? Twilight had died. What did that mean for Trixie, who suspected her only salvation may be to follow in Twilight’s hoofsteps? Maybe it wasn’t even Twilight. Maybe Fine’s changeling story was true. How was Trixie to know? It was usually when delving deep into these questions that she would discover sleep. Trixie awoke with a start, the now-familiar sound of hoofsteps in the darkness. She raised her head from the floor, eyes locking on the lone entry to Twilight’s tomb. Her ears perked as the hoofsteps grew louder. This time there was no question that they were real. Her eyes hardened as a yellow light began to appear around the corner, flickering and shaking like a flame. Slowly, trying to keep as quiet as she could, Trixie stood and prepared herself; if her visitor was a threat, she’d be ready. She leveled her glowing horn at the entrance, watching the corner with a sneer. But then the pony rounded the corner, and in her surprise she released her magic. Nye Stone let out a yelp and jumped back behind the wall as a small blue laser zapped the crystal behind him and began to bounce wildly around the tunnels. It disappeared around the corner, and this time Nye’s cry was one of pain. “Aww, come on!” He appeared from around the corner again, rubbing the burn mark on his neck. “What did ya have to go and do that for?” Trixie recovered from her surprise quickly. She turned her upraised head away with a hmmph. “What do you expect? Trixie does not approve of ponies sneaking up on her. Besides,” she added with a glower as she lay back down, “spend a few hours down here and you’d be jumpy too.” “I guess I can’t blame you for that,” he noted, but abruptly shook his head. “What am I doing? Come on, you gotta get back to the surface!” “Is that why you’re here?” she demanded. “To fetch Trixie, as if she were Luna’s new pet?” “I wouldn’t put it like that,” he grumbled as he sat a couple feet away. “Look, I’ve been searching all over the slums for you! Luna’s really worried.” “Is she?” Trixie gave him an uppity look. “Trixie doubts it. If she were so worried, why would she send you instead of looking herself?” “She is looking,” he insisted. “She’s scouring the city above for you as we speak!” That made Trixie pause. “You mean she stayed up top while you searched down here? How does she expect you to stay safe?” He gazed back seriously, studying her. “I am the personal attendant of Princess Luna, and they know who I am. More importantly, they know I’m protected by the Archons.” He paused to emphasize his next sentence. “A lot of ponies are in here because of the Archons. They wouldn’t dare touch anypony under their protection.” Trixie considered this for several seconds, tapping a hoof to her chin. “Everypony saw Trixie being escorted around by Fine. That explains why they left her alone…” Nye nodded. “Look, we need to get you up top before one of your enemies decides to come down here after you. We still haven’t located your next opponent, and she might just be coming. Luna will feel much better—” “Trixie does not care!” She stood up to glare at him, and he leaned back in alarm. “Trixie does not trust her, Nye. For that matter, Trixie does not trust you! Why should Trixie go and be with a princess who only wants to use her to usurp the throne?” At that last point Nye’s face grew firm. He came forward to lock eyes with hers at close range. “Do not insult Luna by suggesting her aims are so petty. She’s trying to save the world!” “And you are her little yes-colt, aren’t you?” Trixie sneered and turned her head away once more. “Always accepting everything she speaks for truth. Perhaps she is just using you, Mr. Stone!” He didn’t answer for some time. She peered at him and saw that he was visibly shaking. His lip twitched as he fought to control himself. “If I were any less of a stallion I’d be fighting you myself, right now.” She smirked. “Trixie doubts you would stand a chance.” “Beside the point,” he snarled. “You’ve been hiding down here for three days—” “How many?” “—and Luna is genuinely afraid for you. She wants you to succeed, Trixie. Almost every pony who’s ever tried to help her has ended up dead; those who didn’t have become your opponents.” “Has Trixie really been down here three days?” He shook her violently. “Pay attention! You have a chance, Trixie! Luna believes you might actually come out of these fights okay. It’s never happened before!” She slapped his hooves away with a scowl. “Come out okay? What the buck makes you think Trixie is okay? I’ve lost everything!” “But you’re alive!” he cried. “You’ve not succumbed to your darker instincts, to the corruption of Nightmare Moon. You’re still you, Trixie, and Luna wants you to stay that way! Just once she would like somepony to be associated with her and not be ruined by the experience.” Trixie glared at him for several seconds, then turned away to stare up at Twilight within the crystal wall. What would she have done in this situation? “I’m not sure I’m the same pony I was, Nye. I don’t trust anypony anymore. How can I be expected to fight for somepony I can’t trust?” “I thought you were fighting for yourself.” She considered for a few seconds before he asked, “Hey, is that the changeling who came by—” When she turned her head to him he clamped his mouth shut, eyes going wide. She turned to face him properly, voice firm. “Trixie is fighting for those who couldn’t fight for themselves, for ponies who deserve better.” She considered him thoughtfully before concluding, “Take Trixie to the surface. She might not trust Luna, but she will not hide from the other ponies Luna has hurt.” “You mean Nightmare Moon hurt,” he corrected, but turned to lead her anyway. As they rounded the corner he picked up his lamp in his teeth. Nye led her out of the tunnels and through the slums. She noted that the residents were avoiding him in much the same way they’d avoided her. At the very least, she thought it supported her theory about having been protected by the Archons’ name all this time. She abruptly recalled his story, about how he might have ended up living down here if it hadn’t been for Luna. Looking at the state of the place, she realized that he actually did owe the princess everything. Where would he have been today if she hadn’t taken him in? Sick? Homeless? Perhaps dead? They reached one of the five lifts that went directly up to the city, the open entrance protected by a quartet of royal unicorn guards. Not for the first time Trixie wondered why the lifts even existed. The guards entered the lift with them and sealed the entrance before using their combined powers to raise it. “Trixie wishes to apologize,” she said to Nye as he set his lamp down and worked his jaw. “Seeing you in the slums, she realizes how much you owe the princess. She should not have insulted your allegiance to her.” “Eh, it’s okay,” he replied in a weary tone. “I’m sure you’ve been through hell, so I get your anger. I never hold grudges anyway.” She eyed him. “Not even against Celestia?” He glanced away with a grim frown. “It’s not her fault she’s a monster, but I guess I do hold just the tiniest of grudges against… er…” His words died as the lift came to a stop within a great gazebo in the middle of a quiet Canterlot street. There, waiting for them to arrive with a pleasant smile, was Celestia. “Hello, Trixie. Mr. Stone.” Nye instantly dropped into a deep bow. He managed to maintain a calm, polite expression, but his already white face went a few shades lighter at the sight of the princess. “Celestia! It is an honor, as always.” Trixie eyed him, then raised a critical eyebrow at Celestia. “What are you doing here?” The guards shifted and Nye shot her a lecturing look, but she only stared up at the princess expectantly. Celestia’s smile widened just a little at her manner. “I am pleased to see you’ve not lost your confidence. When I learned that my sister and her attendant were out looking for you, I thought I might investigate.” Trixie shook her head. “You misunderstand Trixie.” She gestured to the ground between them. “What are you doing here? How did you know Trixie would be using this lift at this time?” Celestia winked. “You forget, I have all the same eyes and ears as my sister.” The Archons. Trixie recalled the sounds and phantom sightings in the caves. Had those really been ponies? Archons, keeping tabs on her for Celestia? Fine Crime had said he was always watching. Suddenly Trixie was very inclined to believe it. “I do apologize, Princess.” Considering Nye’s loyalties, Trixie thought his voice commendably steady. “Your sister will be very eager to see Trixie. We should go in search for her immediately.” But Celestia shook her head. “You may go, if you so desire, but I would like to talk with Trixie myself.” She stepped aside and gestured to her waiting chariot. “What say you, Trixie? Join me for lunch?” Trixie hesitated. She knew there was nopony she could trust, but she had to acknowledge that she was more inclined to trust the Princess of the Sun. She’d been raised, like most ponies, to believe in Celestia as the one great good in Equestria, a view that was hard to break. Aside from that, her stomach was rumbling from three days without quality food. She glanced at Nye, who watched her with a small, dour frown. Clearly he didn’t want her to go, but it was also clear that he had no say in the matter. She looked up at Celestia – a pony who used to inspire such awe as to render her dumbfounded – and still felt just a little comforted by her presence. Besides, she’d heard Luna’s story. Perhaps Celestia had come to give her own account. Her mind made up, Trixie gave a curt nod and walked to the carriage. She glanced back to witness Nye fleeing into the streets the moment Celestia’s back was turned, his face determined. “Don’t mind him,” Celestia offered kindly as she walked beside Trixie. “He takes his role as Luna’s associate very seriously. I’m sure you noticed.” She gestured for Trixie to enter the carriage first. As Celestia climbed in, Trixie spoke, “Trixie thanks you for this, Princess. She knows you probably have much more to worry about than her.” The carriage rocked to a start, heading away from the Royal Castle. “On the contrary,” Celestia answered, “the events surrounding you have been pressing on my mind. I hope you don’t mind a short ride; the place we are going is my favorite, but it’s a bit out of the way.” As if Trixie was going to debate with her over eating arrangements! “Trixie is certain your choice will be just fine. But why would the ruler of Equestria be worried about Trixie?” Celestia’s eyebrows rose. “Do you think yourself so unimportant as to not warrant my attention?” “Trixie is not a fool,” she countered with a frown. “Despite what everypony might think of her, she knows she’s not the center of everypony’s attention.” Celestia set a hoof to her lips, carefully considering her companion. “Then why do you speak in such a… confident manner?” Trixie eyed the princess for a few seconds. She knew what Celestia really meant, and was wondering if she should tell the truth. Finally, she answered with head raised, “Trixie is allowed to have a secret or two of her own.” At that Celestia giggled. “Well played, my little pony. Well played, indeed.” The carriage made its way through a residential neighborhood: many beautiful brick homes, lanes decorated with tall maple trees. Well-dressed unicorns bowed deeply at their passing. There was a time when Trixie might have enjoyed the attention, but now she could only think of the slums and look upon these ponies in disgust. Occasionally she would spot a pegasus or an Earth pony among the citizens, and the sight of them made her hackles rise. Did they not care that their brethren were hungry and miserable just a few hundred feet beneath their hooves? Celestia’s head dipped low. “I suppose spending three days below has disturbed you.” Trixie shot the princess a brief, critical look before returning to her harsh vigil. “After what she has seen, Trixie must wonder why the glorious representative of all that is good and wise in Equestria would permit such a situation.” Celestia sighed and turned her head away. “I am not proud of the slums, Trixie. Being the ruler of Equestria does not make things easy to fix. I know Luna would have you believe that I am the cause of all these problems. Perhaps she is right. After all, even after a thousand years I have failed to bring my little ponies together. Some days I fear that the utopia my sister and I used to speak of will remain a mere dream.” Trixie wanted to be moved by the princess’ show of regret and shame. She wanted to take Celestia at her word. Yet after so many disappointments, even doing that was difficult. “Luna has told Trixie her version of Equestria’s history. It was… gloomy.” “She seeks to depose me.” It hardly seemed like a revelation; it felt more as if she were confirming for Trixie’s sake that she already knew. Trixie pretended to focus the street ahead, but her attention was entirely on Celestia. “We have a long ways to go? Trixie wishes to hear the princess’ version of history. Just to compare.” “I was hoping you’d ask,” Celestia admitted. “I suspected you’d like to know both sides of the story. I imagine you have little trust in what anypony tells you, so I will let you judge for yourself.” Trixie was mildly surprised to hear that. No ‘this is the one and only truth’? No ‘Luna is a liar, just believe in me’? She thought it a nice change of pace, and it eased her mind a little. But only just. “What your sister told Trixie about Discord…?” “True.” The answer came quick and crisp, as if Celestia had been expecting the question all along. Trixie gaped up at her. “Really?” Celestia nodded, expression hard. “The Unknown Princess did disrupt the Elements of Harmony to kill him, and he did curse us. On that day Nightmare Moon was born… as was my own alter ego. I did defeat my own, sealing her in stone.” Trixie considered this, genuinely astounded to hear the story confirmed. “But why is that part of your lives not in the history books? Why keep it a secret?” “There are several reasons,” Celestia replied. “For one, it is true that being apart from my other half is… painful. “I say painful, but that’s honestly not the best word.” She took a moment to consider how to explain. “There’s no actual pain. It’s more of a… an emptiness. A strange discomfort that never leaves. It really drives me crazy at times – figuratively speaking, of course.” She cracked a silly smile, but Trixie was not amused. The princess sagged at her failed attempt to lighten the mood. “Anyway, it is a matter of public perception. If the masses knew I were only half there – even if the missing parts of my mind were the bad parts – my political opponents could claim me as mentally unfit for my role.” Trixie didn’t believe that at all. In fact she was almost offended by this excuse! “You are the monarch of this country! Do not try to convince Trixie that your rule is dependent upon the will of others. You have no peers.” “A leader is nothing without her subjects,” Celestia corrected in a kind but lecturing manner. “I may hold absolute rule, but should the masses rise against me that power will be worthless. Leading a nation is a dangerous dance, my friend.” Trixie gritted her teeth; she did not consider them friends! Still, the excuse could hold water… “You said there were other reasons?” “There is one very important reason,” Celestia replied, her voice growing serious once more. “I must find a way to deal with my darker self. If I am to ever know peace, our bodies must be rejoined – as I intend to do to Luna before too long, to spare her my own suffering. Once rejoined, the ‘sentience’ that is the other half must be destroyed.” “Why does the princess not just destroy the dark being while it is separated and vulnerable?” Trixie asked with a tilt of her head. “No!” Celestia’s eyes widened and her pupils shrank. “If that were to happen, I would lose the other side of my being forever! The dark half of every pony’s mind is just as critical to her soul as the good. She must be rejoined with me and then destroyed, so that the other half of my being can return to its rightful place.” She sighed, sagging once more. “Yet after a thousand years, I have found no means by which I might complete the task. If I could but use the Elements again…” Trixie’s ears perked at that. “The Elements?” Celestia nodded. “The Elements could destroy the dark sentience, while leaving the rest of me whole. They are the perfect weapon for the task! Yet no pony has lived in a thousand years that could wield them.” Trixie thought on this for several seconds, hardly noticing when the carriage came upon the great wall that surrounded the city. “But weren’t the Elements lost?” “Yes, I am afraid so,” the princess acknowledged. “That is all the more reason to keep the truth secret. You see, I keep the statue of my other self hidden away. I want it safe, in hopes that I might find a way to reunite with the being trapped within. Keeping the story of our split minds a secret is all part of keeping ponies from seeking out the statue. I couldn’t bear to let something happen to it. Evil or not, she’s still me.” The carriage was outside the city now, escorted by a team of a dozen golden-armored stallions as it made its way through an open field and toward the forest in the south. Trixie stared out at the trees and thought about Celestia’s story. She had to admit, she liked it better than Luna’s. A week ago she might have found the very idea behind it laughable, but now? She’d seen Nightmare Moon and Luna together. Was a statue of Celestia bearing her corrupt half really so far-fetched? “Ah, we’re here.” Trixie looked ahead to note a tall, two-storey building nestled within the trees by the roadway just within the forest. It was made of oak and had a very ‘naturey’ feel to it, with big flowerbeds and birds chittering on the roof. A deer-shaped sign by the road displayed Sweet & Elite Confectionary in pink cursive. Balloons floated above the windows and colorful flashing signs hovered in various places on the walls, all inviting customers in to indulge their sweet cravings. The place had quite a few patrons already inside, especially considering its distant location. Trixie observed the restaurant with a skeptical air as the carriage rolled to a stop. “Trixie is confused. Are ponies expected to enjoy the natural beauty of the forest, or throw a party?” Celestia chuckled as she lead her companion off the carriage and to the front door. “Yes, the site is a bit odd, but you get used to it. I must warn you, though: the owner is very… excitable.” “Excitable?” Trixie pushed open the door. “In what—” “Heeey!” Trixie nearly fell when a pink Earth pony practically flew into her face. “Welcome to Sweet & Elite, Princess Celestia’s personal favorite café. Oh, hi, princess!” Celestia grinned as she nodded to the pony. “Good afternoon, Pinkie. Always a pleasure. Is my usual table open?” “Always!” Pinkie seemed genuinely thrilled, bouncing in place at the arrival of the princess. “We’re always so happy to see you, I’m sure all the Pinkies will be ever more thrilly thrillerific than I am, and I’m really thrillerifical right now!” She paused in her bouncing and gestured politely to Trixie. “For two?” “Indeed.” Celestia placed a gentle hoof on Trixie’s shoulder. “My friend has never been here, so do provide her with a menu.” “Okey dokey lokey!” As Pinkie grabbed a menu and lead them into the restaurant, Trixie whispered, “Is she always this energetic?” Celestia giggled. “You haven’t seen anything, yet.” They went through the door to the dining room, and did a double take; there were three more ponies who looked exactly like Pinkie! They bounced around the room, serving guests delicious-looking sweets, chattering playfully with patrons and generally having a good time. “Wow,” Trixie noted as they followed Pinkie to some stairs, “quadruplets. Trixie is inclined to feel sorry for the mother.” Celestia grinned but said nothing. It wasn’t until they started climbing the stairs that Trixie spotted the cutie mark. All the pink ponies had the same one: three balloons. Even Pinkie. Trixie had spent much time reminiscing on everything Twilight had told her before, and of those things she recalled the cutie marks the best. Three balloons equated to laughter. She paused at the top of the stairs, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. Eight more Pinkies were bouncing to and fro in the second-floor dining room, eagerly tending to their customers’ every need. Same look, same cutie mark. How could there possibly be so many?! If she remembered Twilight’s words – and her guess was right – then she’d have to fight one of these ponies. ...what if she had to fight all of them? “Trixie?” Trixie jumped in alarm at the princess’ call; she would much rather keep her name a secret! She rapidly moved to catch up, noticing how two of the closest Pinkies were suddenly watching her with wide eyes and mirthful grins. They were led to a balcony on the second floor, providing them with a nice view of the forest. A lone table for two had been set up, and Celestia wasted no time settling herself in one of the fine, flower-decorated chairs. Trixie went to join her, but a pink hoof caught her shoulder. “Say, are you really Trixie?” She flinched, but there was nothing but curiosity in Pinkie’s wide-eyed, happy face. “Umm… y-yes?” “Oh wow!” Pinkie began to bounce once more. “Another celebrity visitor! I heard how you beat Rainbow Dash, that sounds amazing! Were you frightened I’d have been frightened but then maybe not cause people say I don’t get frightened by scary things I get frightened by unscary things like zebras but you’re not a zebra so I’m not scared of you but you did beat Rainbow Dash and she’s like super-D-duper strong and that must mean you’re even more strongerific and ooh I bet—” “Eh-hem.” Pinkie literally screeched to a halt with her bouncing and gave Celestia a questioning look. The princess was all smiles, but raised an expectant eyebrow. “Oh, right, sorry.” Pinkie blushed and stepped out of Trixie’s way. Trixie let out a relieved sigh before sitting opposite the princess. “I’ll have your Tri-Smile Special,” Celestia told Pinkie, who set a menu before Trixie. “And a ‘Luna in the Stars’ to drink.” “Oh, oh, that’s a good one!” Pinkie declared, jumping right in the princess’ face. “I’m gonna be so happy when I find out I’m making it! It’s all glittery and foamy and yummy and maybe I can have me make one for me! Gotta go put that in, but be right back for your order, Trixie!” Trixie watched her leave with a strong sense of relief. “That has to be the single most energized pony Trixie has ever met.” “Told you.” Celestia giggled. “I like her. She provides some pep in a rather grim world.” A second later and another pink pony – well, Trixie assumed it wasn’t the same one – presented them two cups of steaming herbal tea. “Here ya go, princess! With a little extra lemon, just how you like it. Sorry, Trixie, I forgot to ask how you liked your tea.” Trixie looked at the cup, then at the pony. “This might be rude of Trixie, and if so she apologizes… but how is she meant to tell you all apart if she doesn’t know all your names?” “What do you mean?” The pony laughed and gestured to herself. “I’m Pinkie!” She turned to the windows and pointed to the others one at a time. “And she’s Pinkie, and she’s Pinkie, and she’s Pinkie!” She patted Trixie on the head with a grin. “Silly Trixie, we all know we’re Pinkie Pie. There is no way to tell us apart! Unless I’m Alpha, but last I checked I’m pretty sure I wasn’t. Gotta go, other customers waiting on more sweet, delicious goodness!” For several seconds Trixie could only stare at their departing host – hosts? – then turned her gaze on Celestia. “It’s a long story.” The princess sipped her tea with a smile. “Best to leave it alone for now.” She was right – they had more pressing subjects at hoof. “Trixie would like to get back on topic. She suspects there is much more to speak of regarding Luna’s side of the story.” Celestia set her hooves together in a thoughtful manner, staring at Trixie with what had to be the single most serious expression Trixie had yet seen on her face. Trixie shifted, wondering if she had said something wrong. “Very well,” Celestia replied at last. “Ask any question you like, and I will answer to the best of my ability.” Perhaps she should have been relieved. Instead, Trixie was guarded. The last princess who’d offered to tell her the whole truth had lost her trust. Even so, she might as well talk and see what came of it. “What is the real reason you banished Luna to the moon?” Celestia closed her eyes and fidgeted. “Going straight for the heart, I see. So be it, I said I would answer, and I shall. But you’ll be disappointed. The truth is that the history books got something right.” “So,” Trixie whispered with downcast eyes, “she really did try to overthrow you.” She grabbed her teacup and took a small sip, glad to have something other than water to drink for a change. “What the public does not know,” the princess went on, “is the reason. Luna was being driven mad by Nightmare Moon. I am not sure how much of the attempt was her own or Nightmare’s, but they were clearly beyond working with. Sending my sister to the moon was the only way to keep from having to kill her in self-defense.” Trixie considered this, then asked, “If that were the case, why did you let her return to Equestria?” “Ah, that’s another thing the public does not know,” Celestia declared. “I returned Luna every one hundred years, to test her and gauge whether she’d recovered her mind. Every time she failed, and every time I sent her back.” Trixie raised an eyebrow. “And now?” Celestia bowed her head in contemplation. “Now… I am not certain. Luna appears more stable than ever before, but Nightmare Moon still plagues her. After what she did to those ponies you have been fighting, I thought perhaps she needed to be sent away, but then she begged me to separate her from Nightmare. I decided to honor that request, so that she might at least know a little peace.” “But you intend to bring them back together.” Trixie stared at her steaming tea. “Yes.” The princess nodded with a frown. “In a short time, she will begin to suffer as I have for the past thousand years. I cannot let that happen, Trixie.” Trixie tilted her head, trying to make sense of this decision. “Trixie can only wonder which is worse: having two minds in one body driving you insane, or feeling a little uncomfortable.” Trixie wilted, for as soon as she’d finished her sentence Celestia’s expression grew hard. Cursing herself under her breath, she rushed to add, “I’m sure they’re both fairly horrible, of course.” Celestia stared down at her for several long seconds, and Trixie began to wonder if she shouldn’t be prepared for an extraterrestrial change in address. Yet just as the tension seemed too much to bear, Celestia abruptly smiled and reached a hoof over the table to touch Trixie’s muzzle. “Gotcha.” For a split second Trixie had an image of Amethyst sitting in Celestia’s place. It hurt so much, Trixie had to fight not to cry in front of the princess. She shook with the effort, closing her eyes and struggling not to knock the hoof away. Was she reminding her of Ammy on purpose, a subtle way of getting back at her for what she’d just said? “Oh dear...” Celestia removed her hoof from Trixie’s face with a concerned expression. “I’m sorry, I thought you’d be amused.” “D-don’t play dumb,” Trixie whispered, bowing her head and biting her lip. “T-Trixie knows Fine Crime told you all about it…” Celestia tilted her head. “Told me about what?” She was lying. She had to be. “Here we go, princess!” Pinkie abruptly appeared from under the table, a large slice of three-layer cake in one hoof and a glittery, foaming drink in the other. “One of my very own super-speciiioooh my, what’s wrong?” Trixie had been so surprised by the pony’s sudden appearance that she jumped up, knocking her chair down as she did and horn flashing dangerously. Huffing from anger and misery, she shot a menacing glare at Pinkie, who stared back in wide-eyed confusion. But Trixie shook her head and quietly lifted the seat back up. “Trixie apologizes.” She returned to her seat and bowed her head. “She’s gotten a bit jumpy, lately.” “Oh, that’s okay.” Pinkie set the cake and drink down before the princess. “You look like you’re having some troubles, but don’t worry. Everything will be sunshine and rainbows before you know it!” “Trixie doubts that very much,” Trixie muttered, glancing away. “Aww, come on.” Pinkie wrapped a hoof around Trixie shoulder and gestured as if to display the world. “It’s a bright, shiny day! You’re the Great and Powerful Trixie, you work with Princess Luna, and you’re having tea with Celestia! You’ve got lots to be happy about.” Trixie shrugged Pinkie off and leaned against the table with a pout. “Do not try to act like you’re Trixie’s friend.” “Aww, look at you, Miss Grumpy McGrumpypants. You know what you need?” Pinkie reared back with front legs crossed, head raised confidently. “Some peace and quiet?” “Nooo, this!” With that Pinkie abruptly pulled out a pair of Groucho glasses and set them on an unexpecting Celestia. The princess blinked, felt at her face with a hoof, then began to chuckle. Pinkie appeared on Celestia’s opposite side, rearing back to lean against the princess’ shoulder and holding a carrot to her mouth, her own Groucho glasses set to her face. She spoke in a more masculine voice, chewing on the carrot as if it were a stick of Poison Joke extract. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” Celestia giggled, covering her lips and blushing wildly. Pinkie zipped to her other side and repeated the pose. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Trixie fought it, she really did, but the corners of her mouth twitched upwards. Pinkie was leaning on her, now. “I must confess, I was born at a very early age.” A now-giggling Trixie found herself wearing some glasses of her own, and Pinkie was on her other side. “Quote me as saying I misquoted.” Celestia was laughing out loud by now, and Trixie was giggling uncontrollably as Pinkie stood up on the table and did a two-legged dance. “Marry me, and I swear I’ll never look at another horse!” She dropped down to put her face close to Trixie’s, her eyeballs stretching out so they nearly touched. “Who are you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?” That last one did it: Trixie broke into laughter. Pinkie giggled and removed her glasses. “See? I knew you still had some fun in there somewhere!” She jumped off the table, landing on front hooves and standing upside-down. “When life gets you down, just laugh!” Celestia finally recovered from her own laughter and removed her glasses. “Feel better?” Trixie was out of breath and feeling good for the first time in ages. “Yeah… Trixie owes you thanks, Pinkie!” Pinkie cartwheeled back to a proper standing position, a proud smile on her lips. “That’s nice, but I’ll settle for your order.” “Oh, right, the order.” She’d completely forgotten to check the menu. “Umm, give Trixie a moment longer?” “Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie waved a playful hoof and turned away. Trixie removed her glasses, giggling at the sight of them and wondering what she’d looked like. “And to think, Trixie thought she might have to fight her.” She barely noted Pinkie’s pause.