One month.
Thirty days.
Thirty agonizing, lifeless days.
Thirty days of regrets and heartbreak.
Thirty days of tears.
Thirty days since she last slept the whole night. Thirty days of nightmares when she closes her eyes; not of monsters, ghouls or demons, but of memories. She dreams of what she did, and what she said and it torments her. When she wakes, screaming in her bed, she breaks down anew. Drenched in a cold sweat, her heart aching with every forced beat; she wished it would just stop and put her out of her misery. She can't bring herself to lie back down. She knows the memories will return. She tries to ignore that sinking feeling when she roles over, knowing the bed is big enough for two and that there should be two; but there is only one. Thirty days of watching the sunrise alone and crying.
Thirty days of pity from her friends. Thirty days of everypony treating her either as a leper to be avoided, or as an honored guest when forced into a conversation. Thirty days of sitting at her apple stand, amidst the happiest town in Equestria, lost in a haze of grief. Thirty days of her customers choosing each word carefully, so as not to seem insensitive; she hates them for it.
Thirty days of emotionless, robotic apple bucking. She is cold the entire time even though it's spring. Her body never shivers, but her heart and soul are frozen solid. Thirty days of nibbling on lukewarm meals. The old Applejack never wasted a single crumb. Ever. Now she leaves entire salads, veggie cheeseburgers, and barbequed corn-on-the-cob untouched. Thirty days of ash in her mouth and letting herself waste away. Her strength is gone, and it's not just her sustenance starved muscles. Her soul is sapped, drained of her famous vitality.
Eighteen failed Pinkie Pie parties, all ending in tears. She never even so much as smiles, let alone dances or sings. They play horse-shoes and cards; her two favorite games. She has no spirit for the games; no desire for fun. Now even Twilight has a better poker-face, and Twilight still hasn't broken the habit of showing the other players her cards and asking for advice.
Fourteen make-over attempts by Rarity. Applejack never gets further than looking in a mirror before she has to look away. She is disgusted with what she sees. Every reflection is the same. Hollow red-rimmed eyes, sunken cheeks and a tangled mess of a mane. Her once proud full figure, a body her ex-coltfriend had once described as "kickin'" is now scrawny and taut, pale and lifeless. Applejack hates her reflection, and yet she's glad the pony she sees suffers. That pony hurt the love of her life. That pony ruined the best relationship she would ever have. Let her suffer!
Applejack hates herself.
The dresses and gowns and froufrou hats are gorgeous, and she thanks Rarity for them, but it is a meaningless empty thing. They both know it. Not even fixing her mother's treasured leather vest can bring Applejack out of her depression. The farmer had always intended to wear it the day she married, and she had hoped against hope that Soarin' would have been her stallion, to have and to hold. Now it feels like an empty promise of old leather and green stitch flowers.
Nine times her friends visit her farm, and nine times they leave dejected. Not even the power of friendship can bring a smile back to Applejack's face. Twelve attempts by the Cutie Mark Crusaders to rescue Applejack from sadness. After a while, the Crusaders settle with simply trying to make Applejack smile; they never succeed. Ditzy Doo and Caramel, the newest couple of PonyVille, stop by. They don't say much, but they bring food and some movies. Applejack watches without seeing. It's just flashes of light and noise to the farmer.
Her brother doesn't say anything. He knows there is nothing to say. She wants to hate him. Every time she sees his familiar face, she wants to break it. She wants to beat and scratch and bite and scream until he bleeds to death on the floor. She wants him to know the pain he helped cause. But she can't. The only pony Applejack will blame, can blame, is herself. She lied. She lied to everypony, and now she must face the consequences. She lost her soulpony. He had been the only stallion who understood her. Soarin' knew the simple act of a smile, or offering to take a basket load off her back, or even holding her hoof was just as romantic and meaningful as the largest diamond bracelet or silk dress. He had been the type of stallion who believed in the little things. The simple act of making dinner for her after a hard day, or a blissful backrub from those God-like hooves of his. Those things mattered more to Applejack than a thousand red roses and declarations of love.
Now she was alone.
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They watched her from a distance, faces set in worry.
"Has there been any change?" The lavender pony asked. Her two companions, a butter yellow Pegasus and an alabaster white unicorn both sighed sadly.
"No." Fluttershy almost whimpered, "Nothing." The three ponies watched Applejack as she tried to buck another tree. When Twilight Sparkle first moved to Ponyville, Applejack had been the pride of the town. She was the mare anypony could count on, and she took her duties to friends and family seriously. She could buck an entire apple tree with one kick, watch as dozens of apples fall into perfectly positioned baskets, and still leave time enough to play with her friends or check AppleBloom's school work.
The pony at the bottom of the hill had no such skill. She was weak, almost hollow. She had the willowy look of a pony that would blow away in a gentle breeze. Her fur was messy, her trademark braided mane unkempt. Her once dead-accurate aim was skewed, and she easily missed half her bucks. When she did connect with the apple tree, it swayed a bit and a few apples dropped. They missed the baskets every time. Applejack watched an apple roll away to settle next to a small rock on a patch of dirt. Her heart and soul are so tired she just sat, unwilling to walk the ten feet to pick it up. She just sat and let the day bleed away.
This is not the Applejack her friends know and love.
"Oh this is just dreadful." Rarity wailed, "She's getting worse every day. We have to help her."
"We know that, Rarity!" Twilight snapped; the two unicorns glare at each other. After a moment, they relent. Tempers have been tattered and stretched thin the past month. Friendship had failed Applejack, and it had them all on edge.
"What can we do?" Fluttershy asked, her face set in a sad frown, "We've tried everything! Even Pinkie's famous sunshine and smiles berry punch failed to even make her grin."
"There is one thing we haven't tried." Rarity said grimly. Fluttershy looked at her but quickly looked away. Twilight stamped her foot firmly.
"We agreed that wasn't an option!" She argued, "There is no guarantee it would work."
"We have to try, Twilight!" Rarity countered, "He is the only pony she wants."
"And what if he's moved on?" Twilight asked, "We both know he felt betrayed and lied to and let's be clear, he was lied to. If he feels betrayed, we can't fault him that! If we fail to get them back together…" Twilight sighed, "Do you really think Applejack can survive her heart breaking twice?"
"Oh yes, because she's doing so well with this one."
"It's too big a risk, Rarity!"
"You never saw them look into each other's eyes, Twilight Sparkle." Rarity said, staring at Applejack, "I have read every romance novella published in the last five hundred years, and I can tell you those two have something special; something real."
"It does seem like they made a cute couple…" Fluttershy whispered sadly.
"They had something, Rarity." Twilight said darkly. Rarity eyed her for a moment and shook her head.
"I refuse to accept that." She said, "I don't care what you say Twilight. There is only one pony in all of Equestria that can save Applejack, and his name is Soarin' SilverBolt."
"Do you have a plan?" Fluttershy asked carefully. Rarity answered with an indulgent smile and wicked eyes.
"Oh Fluttershy, dear, remember who you are talking to." Rarity smiled, "Twilight did you bring any paper with you?
"Always."
"Good. Take this down, and listen carefully girls."
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Applejack groaned and rolled her shoulders out; her muscles burned and her eyelids sagged. She took a moment to close them and her head began to drift and sway. The earth pony shook her head clear and staggered a few steps before righting herself and standing tall. She looked around, seeing endless rows of apple trees and empty baskets waiting to be filled.
Unbidden memories came rushing back. She remembered Soarin' offering to help with the harvest, and how she had simply dismissed him. Tears began to fill her eyes again and Applejack quickly wiped them away. Her stomach turned over and her heart started to hammer in her chest. Every time she thought about her lost love, it was as if her body just wanted to lie down and die.
Applejack walked up to one of the apple trees and put her hoof to it. She pushed with all the strength left in her emaciated arms. The tree swayed gently then was still. Applejack sighed and her eyes threatened to spill over again. She couldn't even buck apples anymore; her life had hit rock bottom.
The sun was still high in the sky, telling her it was just past noon. Prime time for daylight working, but Applejack felt no desire to be in the orchards anymore. She retrieved the few tools she had brought out and slung her carrying bag over her shoulder. It was heavier than it had ever been, and it was barely a third full.
"Do you need any help with that, dear?" An elegant voice called out. Applejack turned her head and met Rarity's pleading blue eyes. The farmer didn't say anything; she just let the bag fall to the ground and nodded once. Rarity effortlessly slung the bag over her shoulder and Applejack felt a spike of shame that Rarity Unicorn was now stronger than her.
The two walked in silence back to the farm houses overlooking the orchard. Applejack kept her eyes fixed on the ground, completely lost in her misery. Rarity tried to catch her friend's eyes but it was no use. When they reached the storage farm, Applejack pushed on the wooden door. It didn't move. She tried again, and received the same result.
"Come on, damn it." Applejack hissed under her breath and put her shoulder into her work. The door barely began to groan open. Rarity walked up, put a hoof to the door and with one push the recently oiled hinges opened. Applejack stood dumbfounded before biting back another wave of tears. She turned away from Rarity so her friend couldn't see. Not that it mattered much. All of her friends had seen her cry dozens of times in the last month. Rarity wanted to put a hoof to her friend's shoulder as she silently cried, but thought better of it. There wasn't much she could do.
Rarity felt a surge of sudden anger and energy flood her veins. NO! She would not give up and let her friend waste away to nothing. If Twilight or Fluttershy or Princess Celesita herself thought her plan to get Soarin' and Applejack back together was a waste of time, then so be it! She would work without them.
The barn was musky and old, but had a pleasant sent of aged oak wood. Rarity had to give the Apple's credit; they may not have been as concerned about ascetics as she was, but when it came to functionality they always used the best possible resources and supplies. The barn was lined with shining, glistening stainless steel tools of ever shape, function and design; rows of rakes, shovels, hole-borers and clippers, and in center was a steel plow that looked like it was lovingly cared for.
"Where would you like me to place these?" Rarity asked kindly, hoping to draw Applejack from her nightmares "Is there an order or organizational system?"
"Just toss 'em anywhere." Applejack dismissed, "It don't matter much." She made to leave but Rarity stopped her.
"Well should we at least clean them?" Rarity asked slightly desperate, "Or sharpen any dull edges? Surely there is some maintenance for these tools?"
"Why bother?" Applejack snapped, her red rimmed eyes glistening with unshed tears, "They'll just get dirty again n' then they'll be worthless…just like me…" She pulled away from the unicorn and left. Rarity quickly cast her glance around, finding a bottle of polish and a few rags on a nearby table. She used her magic to bring the items to her and transferred the tools and supplies to her own saddlebag and left the Apple's bag on the table. She would clean the tools herself; the Applejack she knew would spend hours polishing, sharpening and even talking to her beloved tools. When Rarity set everything right, it would not do for Applejack to find a barn of neglected tools.
Rarity found Applejack leaning against the barn wall outside, silently sobbing again. The fashion unicorn could not imagine the personal torment Applejack insisted dragging herself through.
"When was the last time you ate?" Rarity asked, standing next to the farmer. She offered Applejack her handkerchief. Applejack dabbed the tears away and thought for a moment.
"…what day is it?" She asked after a moment. Rarity sighed and took Applejack by the arm.
"Come." She said and began marching to the Apple's house.
"What are ya' doin'?" Applejack demanded. She tried to pull away, but her strength was spent.
"You are going to pack a few things, and stay with me at the boutique for a few days." Rarity said firmly. Finally Applejack managed to squirm away.
"Like hell I is!" She spat, "I got responsibilities on the farm."
"You mean like cleaning tools and bucking apples?" Rarity asked cleverly. Applejack met her gaze with one of her own before looking away.
"Fine I'll pack some things." Applejack said and stormed into her house. She felt shame and anger bubbling in her; shame that she really was completely lax in all her daily chores, and anger that Rarity knew it. The unicorn was supposed to be the dainty flower with pie-in-the-sky dreams to Applejack's nitty-gritty down-to-earth mentality. Now it seemed Rarity knew the what-for's and why-is better than her.
As Applejack was passing the living room, she stopped. The light from the window had reflected something on the old wooden table next to the sofa. Applejack's legs moved before she realized what she was doing. Up close Applejack could see it was a picture frame that had been purposefully turned over so the photo inside was hidden. There was a thin layer of grey dust on it, telling the farmer it had been upside-down for some time.
Applejack's body shook as she took the photo in her hoof. When she turned it over, she gasped and sat on the floor. It was the photo of her grandparents at the first Pomegranate Promenade. The photo she had won with the love of her life holding her hoof. The photo she had lied to everypony about, including her Granny Smith. Bitter hot tears stung her eyes and dripped onto the glass case, smearing her grandparent's smiles.
She missed Soarin' so much! It ate her every day. It was as if a piece of her soul was missing. There was no pony who held her at night or made her breakfast in bed. Applejack had been raised to be a hard worker, and had never been pampered or spoiled as a filly. Soarin' had wanted to spoil her; to treat her like something more than a worker. And she had loved him for it. He had just wanted to share in all aspects of her life; to help everywhere. She had ruined it.
The tears rolled freely down her cheeks and she dropped the photo to the ground. The class cracked, leaving the image of her family distorted.
"Applejack?" Rarity called out, quickly walking into the room. She found Applejack lost in her misery again and gently helped the farmer to her hooves and led her out the door. She would return later to collect some of Applejack's things.
Rarity paused in the doorway and glanced over her shoulder. A pair of heavy set green eyes studied her intently from the kitchen doorway. Big Macintosh nodded slowly to the unicorn and walked into the living room to clean up the broken picture frame. Rarity thought for a moment before leaving.
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Rainbow Dash screamed in anger and smashed another cloud to mist. Tears of rage and shame fell freely from her eyes as she lashed out again, this time caving in the wall of her cloud house. The Pegasus moved like a hurricane, tearing and destroying everything she could get her hooves on. The pain in her chest didn't go away. It never went away. No matter how hard she pushed herself, how exhausted she left herself after her outbursts; the pain never went away.
For a couple of days after her falling-out with Applejack, she had done her best to avoid her friends. She had stayed walled up in her house as she cried out her grief. Then she had heard of Applejack's break-up, and how she had died inside.
All of Rainbow's grief had been replaced with guilt and anger. She had cried for her friend, and she had raged at the injustice of it all. The Pegasus had never been one to dwell on mistakes; life was simply too short not to always be going forward. Movement meant life to Rainbow Dash. One way or another, she was always going forward.
Now she was trapped in her guilt and the more she struggled the deeper it bit. Rainbow Dash tried to make amends, tried to talk to Applejack. She needed to apologize, to do what she could. Applejack's response had been uncontrollable sobbing. Twice more Rainbow had tried to right her wrongs at two of Pinkie Pie's parties. Applejack had just stared blankly into space; it had been too painful for Rainbow to handle. She had refused to visit Applejack since then. The pain was simply too much.
The anger returned and Rainbow screamed. She couldn't fix this! She couldn't go back in time and take back her terrible words. Maybe if she hadn't been so harsh with Soarin'…if she had just kept her damn mouth shut. Maybe her friend could still have the stallion of her dreams, and Rainbow wouldn't hurt so badly. She had gotten over the jealousy and sense of betrayal. Now on her guilt and self-hatred remained. Rainbow snarled and punched her hoof through her cloud couch and into the floor.
"Rainbow Dash?" A meek, barely audible voice called out. Rainbow looked up, eyes narrowed at whoever was intruding on her rage. Her features softened slightly at the yellow Pegasus who was looking in through a hole in the wall.
"Oh. Fluttershy. Hey." Rainbow said in a clipped tone.
"What's going on in here?" Fluttershy asked, eyeing the shambles of Rainbow's house.
"Oh this?" Rainbow laughed sarcastically, "Remodeling."
"Oh. That's nice…" Fluttershy obviously didn't believe her. The shy Pegasus offered Rainbow a sympathetic smile. They had all shared Applejack's pain. Rainbow suppressed a growl; she didn't want pity. She wanted her friends to hate her; she deserved it, didn't she? She destroyed her friendship with Applejack and ruined her relationship with Soarin'.
"Did you need something?" Rainbow said between clenched teeth. Fluttershy met her gaze but didn't shrink away. When it concerned her friends, Fluttershy was a force to be reckoned with.
"Rarity sent me." Fluttshy stepped through the hole in the wall, "We're going to try to help Applejack again."
"Oh?" Rainbow Dash snorted, looking away to hide the burning tears in her eyes. Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at the tone her friend used. Rainbow's guilt bit again and her heart started to hurt, "What is it this time? The Pony-polka? Or let me guess; Rarity wants to me pull that 'double-rainbow' horseshit again?"
"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy snapped at her, "You've done nothing but sit here wallowing in your own pity for weeks now!" The butter-yellow Pegasus poked Rainbow hard in the chest. Fluttershy's eyes burned into Rainbow's soul, "You should be ashamed of yourself! Applejack is our friend and she needs our help! You should be spending every waking second trying to cheer her up! The rest of us have exhausted ourselves while you throw a temper-tantrum."
"You're not responsible for her misery, Fluttershy…" Rainbow looked away, "I am. I'm-" She choked back a wave of tears, "I'm a terrible friend. I…I was so jealous. So mean. I said terrible things to Applejack. Hurtful, terrible things."
"Then you should be working the hardest to help her." Fluttershy said firmly. Rainbow looked at the ground, then around her house. It was trashed; she would spend weeks rebuilding everything. Her gaze fell on one of the few things that was solid matter in her house; a mirror. Her reflection startled her. Rainbow's crimson eyes were almost blood red with swelling and tears. Her mane was a mess and her wings unkempt. She looked nothing like the star athlete she truly was.
"Rainbow Dash…" Fluttershy whispered and put a hoof to the cyan pegasus's shoulder, "Applejack is still your friend. And she needs your help." Rainbow sniffed and wiped a stray tear from her eye.
"you're right…" She breathed.
"Again." Fluttershy said.
"You're right."
"Louder."
"You're right!" Rainbow said proudly, "I have to help Applejack!"
"LOUDER!" Fluttershy yelled.
"I HAVE TO HELP APPLEJACK!" Rainbow felt a surge of energy in the veins and took flight, "Right! Okay! Let's do this! What's the game plan?"
Fluttershy's confidence wavered, "Well…Rarity called it 'going for broke'..." Rainbow floated back down the floor.
"Then let's go talk to Rarity."
0000000
"Here, eat up." Rarity said, plopping a plate and bowl of food in front of the thin farmer. Applejack glanced at the bowl; vegetable stew with green leaves. And the plate sported a sizable chunk of soda-bread baked today and a wedge of cheese. The unicorn topped off the meal with a tall glass of milk.
"I ain't really hungry." Applejack said dismissively. Rarity laughed.
"Applejack dear," She smiled sweetly at her friend, "Eat up before I shove it down your throat." Applejack sneered but spooned some of the stew into her mouth. Despite herself, Applejack closed her eyes and let the warm broth roll down her throat. Her stomach growled and Applejack spooned more into her mouth. Without thinking she tore a chunk of bread off and stuffed it in mouth.
"Delightful." Rarity said awkwardly. The sound of the door opening and closing drew the attention of the unicorn. Applejack kept eating, lost in her own world.
"Rarity, I'm home!" A voice called out from the front hallway. Rarity grinned and quickly walked to meet her sister. Sweetie Belle glanced over Rarity's shoulder and saw Applejack. The color drained from her face.
The Crusaders had turned their every effort to helping Applejack. If failing to get their cutie-marks had bummed out the Crusaders before, then failing to get Applejack to smile was depression on a whole new level. AppleBloom had taken it the hardest, but Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had suffered too.
"Sis?" Sweetie asked carefully. Rarity offered her a smile. She retrieved a sealed scroll from a hiding place under a pile of clothing material.
"Go fine the rest of the Crusaders." Rarity whispered, "And together read this." She gave her sister the scroll.
"What is-" Rarity put a hoof to Sweetie's mouth.
"We're going to make this right, Sweetie." Rarity whispered, "But we need you and the Crusaders. We're going to need every pony we can find." Sweetie looked at the scroll in her hoof, eyes wide. Her sister never took part in the Crusader's schemes.
"Really?" Sweetie asked, awed.
"Really." Rarity put both hooves on Sweetie's shoulders, "This is the single most important thing I have ever asked you to do."
"I…" Sweetie stood proudly, "I won't let you down sis!"
"I know Sweetie Belle." Rarity pulled her sister into a delicate hug, "I know. Now off you go." Sweetie turned and galloped out. Rarity watched her sister go and offered up a quick prayer to Celestia.
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Blurry shapeless figures. Two of them. Or was it four? Six? One?
His vision swam and there was a sharp ringing in his ears. His skull was feeling several sizes too big and he pressed his hooves tight to his temples in a futile attempt to relieve the pressure. Slowly the ringing subsided to be replaced by voices. The figures, of which he was certain there were two, coalesced into two breathless pegasi.
"What?" Soarin' asked, louder than he meant to.
"I asked if you're okay, sir." The first Pegasus asked. Soarin' shook his head vigorously and squinted at the stallion. Blood red fur, pure white wings and a short cropped blonde mane. A cutie mark of white wings haloed by golden light. Sanguine Flight; one of his trainees.
"You don't look so good." The second Pegasus said. This one was Cloud Kicker, the other recruit to his squad this season. Together the two newest WonderBolts were a contrast in color and temperament and were perfect natural rivals. Although if the recent rumors of the locker-room were true, their relationship was heating up.
"What happened?" Soarin' asked, standing on shaking legs. Sanguine Flight reached out to help him, but Soarin' waved him away. Cloud Kicker shot her fellow trainee a look, bristling at the implied weakness that Soarin' couldn't stand on his own.
"We were going through the patterns of the Lightning Blaze." Cloud Kicker said matter-of-factly, "You were going to demonstrate how to do the five-point nose dive turn into the lightning vortex." She motioned to a swirling mass of electrical discharge. Part of the joy of being a WonderBolt was having access to raw unfiltered lightning for use in shows. They could shape it and mold it in a way the mass-produced lightning the weather ponies used couldn't.
"I guess you were just going too fast and…well…" Sanguine Flight pointed to the WonderBolt's staging area. A path of scorched earth and splintered timber led all the way from the far side of the camp to the shallow crater Soarin' found himself in.
"Yeah…" Soarin' said. He let the two recruits keep their delusions. He was Soarin' Silverbolt! One of the fastest flyers in all of Equestria; there was no such thing as too fast for him. His memory started to come back in bits and pieces. He remember bragging to the two recruits and having them stand aside. He remembered the push of the sound barrier as he dove headlong at the ground. Then what? A vision; a memory. Golden hair, orange fur and suddenly he smelled apples. Then there was light and pain.
Soarin' tried to ignore the ghost aroma as it drifted to his nose. He had lost count over the past month of the number of times he had smelled apples and been reminded of who he had lost. He was always distracted, always lost in his thoughts.
"Alright, enough of a break you three!" A commanding voice barked, "Sanguine, Cloud, I want ten wing-sprints around the track. Hit it!" The two recruits saluted and leapt to the air. The cloud track in the skies was swarmed with WonderBolts racing and practicing. Soarin' didn't look up as his captain approach.
"Need a hoof?" Spitfire asked carefully.
"No, I'm okay."
"Bullshit." She spat back and hauled her friend up, "I bet they heard you crash all the way in Trottingham."
"It wasn't that bad." Soarin' offered her a fake smile, "Still alive, see?"
"This time." She whispered, "Listen Soarin', I-"
"Don't." He held up a hoof, "We've been over this."
"Then we'll go over it again, damn it!" Spitfire argued, "You've been a wreck since you and Applejack broke up."
"Don't say her name." Soarin' turned from his captain and forced the butterflies in his stomach to remain calm. "I'm over…her."
"Again with the bullshit, Soarin'." Spitfire said, "Seriously, you've crashed over a dozen times this month. I've managed to low-key them in the weekly reports to the sky-marshal, but how the hell do you think I can write it off if you crash into the audience or the royal family during Saturday's show?"
"What do you want me to say?" Soarin' said, "I crashed. End of story."
"It's not just your rookie quality flying, Soarin'." Spitfire continued, ""I've tried taking you out to bars, going to concerts or those horrific eating contests. I even tried setting you up with my cousin, but you just refuse to be happy Soarin'. And I'm not the only one who's noticed. The others have been talking, Soarin'."
"Meaning?" He said between gritted teeth. He remembered meeting Spitifire's admittedly cute cousin, but visions of a certain apple farmer kept flashing before his eyes.
"They're worried you're not training Sanguine Flight and Cloud Kicker well." She offered a guilty smile, "You're not exactly at your peak performance these days."
"I just got distracted." Soarin' said angrily, "It won't happen again."
"I…I can't take that risk, Soarin'." Spitfire sighed sadly.
"What are you saying?" Soarin' asked carefully.
"Listen, I don't want to have to report you to the sky-marshal for anything…so…" She sighed again, "Just take some time off, okay? At least a few months. Until you get yourself back together."
"Are you suspending me?" Soarin' asked, eyes wide.
"No, this is not official." Spitfire said, "And if pushed, I'll let it slide. No write-ups. But I'm asking you as a friend, just take some time off. You have plenty of vacation time. I know you were saving for…" Her eyes widened as she realized how close to saying the wrong thing she had been. The look of cold anger and sadness in her friend's eyes let her know he had caught it too.
"Just do it, Soarin'." Spitfire said after a moment.
"What about Sanguine and Cloud?" He asked. His head hung sadly as he fought away the fantasies of being with a certain apple farmer during his vacation.
"I'll let Fleet Foot take over their training for awhile." Spitfire had obviously put a lot of thought into this.
"She'd be my choice." A tense silence descended between the two as Soarin' weighed his options. After a moment he gave a slow, barely noticeable nod. "Okay Cap, I'll take some vacation." He tried to hide the shaking tone in his voice, but Spitfire offered him a sympathetic smile.
"Soarin'?"
"I miss her, Spitfire." Soarin' turned to look at the sky, suddenly not feeling the characteristic desire to be in the clouds that led to him being a WonderBolt, "Every Celesita damn day."
"Have you even talked to her since…?" Spitfire put a hoof to his shoulder. She had been there for the first few days after his break-up. Spitfire had seen Soarin' in the first few days after his break-up and had no desire to see her longtime friend that miserable again. He had been a wreck. When he had taken to spiked punch and bar-fights she had offered him the simple choice; Wonderbolts or drinking. He had chosen the former, but she needed to make sure his mind was clear.
"I can't imagine she wants to see me." Soarin' laughed harshly and his eyes narrowed in anger, "She called me an unwanted orphan."
"I know…" Spitfire thought for a moment, "Look maybe she was just angry? It wouldn't be the first time a fillyfriend has gotten pissed at you. I mean hell; I call you an asshole every day."
"It's not the same." Soarin' sighed, "It's my job to piss you off. I didn't do anything to her."
"I'm trying to help you...asshole." Spitfire grinned. Soarin' chuckled but the frown never left his face. The two descended into a silence as they watched the latest patch of recruits' race around the sky. Soarin' sighed and looked away. Spitfire glanced at him and grinned.
"You've gained weight." She said playfully. For the first time in awhile, Soarin' smiled.
"Not much I can do about it." He said, "I'm on vacation." When the playful mood died, Spitfire sighed.
"Are you going to be okay?" Spitfire asked. Soarin' shook his head. His mind was completely lost in his memories of Applejack. He could just imagine the smell of fresh apples and cinnamon that always seemed to follow her.
"I don't know." He said carefully, "I've had plenty of break ups, but none like this. I can't get Applejack out of my mind. I dream about her." He smiled sadly, "Did you know that? I dream about her every night."
"Something meaningful or just more meaningless sex fantasies?" She asked. Soarin' flinched at this. The few times he had made love with Applejack had been anything but meaningless, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Soarin' said distantly, "You know the more time I spend around you, the better vacation sounds."
"Get going." Spitfire laughed and pushed him, "Go visit Susan or something. Get your shit together Soarin'."
"I'l…I'll try." Soarin' said with a guilty smile.
"And I do expect you to make an appearance at Saturday's show." Spitfire said firmly.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."