"Ah, when did you get to be so good? Last time I remember you were barely able to hold a controller for more than 5 minutes before your hooves felt tired.”
Button doesn't seem fazed by my teasing. I guess I'll just have to improve my playing technique and beat him with actual skill. It used to be so easy to leave him in the dust but I think there's a chance that he beats me at this game. Dammit.
“You're just saying that because you can't keep up. Are you becoming a sore loser, loser?”
“We'll see who's the loser when you lose and become the loser.”
“All talk and no bark makes Sour a sour pony.”
“Despite his name, Button can't press the buttons.” Ok, that was lame, which he quickly points out to me. But I can only dedicate a small part of my brain to create witty comebacks because I'm actually realizing I'm going to lose this game if I don't play it seriously.
“What are my two favorite boys doing?” says a sweet voice behind me.
I turn around to look at Turnip so that I can use her interruption as an excuse for losing the game, but after a few seconds the pretense gives way for a genuine desire to look at her.
God, she's gorgeous. She's not a young filly anymore, but somehow her air of maturity makes her as attractive as the first day I held her, if not more. And then there's the flanks. I could lose myself in those flanks and never go back.
“Oh, it's that new game that you bought for Button in Fillycon Valley, what's it called?” she asks.
“Stallion Fighter 5.2, No Reins” answers Button and looks as proud as if he had been the only student in the class who had been able to answer the teacher's question.
“As if you didn't know it already” I tease Turnip. “Button has told me that you've gotten quite good at it.”
“Oh, it's not so much the game. I love spending time with Button, so I would enjoy pretty much any game he's playing.”
“Which character did you play as?”
“The only mare in the game. Geez, you'd think a game with 23 characters would have at least more than one mare character. What is this, the Schtroumpf Village?
“Well hon, the game IS called Stallion Fighter”
“Stallion Fighter 5.2, No Reins, not Stallion Fighter. Are you losing your mojo, dear?”
I can hear that Button is punishing my immobile character with a gazillion hit combo.
“Hey, I'm the only one that's allowed to make that kind of jokes around here.” I tell Turnip, forgetting momentarily about Button.
“That was before you lost your mojo.”
It turns me on so much when she outwits me, but I'd rather lose my collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Dragons before admitting it. I quickly daydream about giving Button a few bits and ask him to go to the movies with his friends.
“What was the name of that character anyway?” She says changing the subject. I know in my heart that she doesn't care about the name, but that she's giving me a way out of looking embarrassingly outwitted.
“Lightning Hooves” I answer, appreciating internally the gesture.
“Lightning Hooves?”
“Yes”
“You're kidding me.”
“I kid you not.”
“You're telling me that the character whose special power is kicking so fast that her hooves get blurry is called Lightning Hooves?”
“Yes”
“And what's the name of the character that Button uses? The one that can't be slowed down if you hit it with normal attacks?”
“Hard Shell”
“NO!”
“Yes”
“I can't believe it! Why don't they just call it Normal-Attacks-Don't-Work-On-This-Guy Guy?”
“I guess that was too long to fit on the character select screen”
“Ok, so the mare who kicks fast is called Lightning Hooves and the stallion with super defense is called Hard Shell?”
“Yep”
“And is the character that throws energy balls called Energy-Ball-Thrower by any chance?”
“Well, if you put it that way, it does sound a bit silly.”
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, this is hilarious.” She says as she takes out her phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“Nopony, I'm posting this on my ponyhoof wall. The girls will find this ridiculously funny.”
“C'mon hon, it's not THAT funny.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it's not.”
“I bet you there'll be somepony who hoofbumps it.”
“I don't think so.”
“There, it's posted. We'll see.”
“Nopony will hoofbump it.”
“No?”
“No”
“It's got 5 hoofbumps already.”
“Really? From whom?”
“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Lyra Heartstrings, Rarity and Mrs. Cake.”
I turn around to find Button smiling gleefully at me. He's obviously been waiting for me to see his character standing up in victory pose with his hoof over the chest of my defeated character.
I hear Turnip walking away, still giggling.
I still don't think it's funny.