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// Lessons in Love and Pain 
// Story: The Queen of Hearts 
// by Pumpernickel Rye 
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Lessons in Love and Pain


Chrysalis had spent almost two weeks thinking about her plan’s current progress. She had become bothered upon realizing a major problem and it had been tormenting her mind almost nonstop. As much as she hated to admit it, she now saw Pinkie as a friend. She could not believe such a feat was possible for her. She still remembered the times where Pinkie just ticked her off by simply doing anything. She took Luna’s advice of trying to act nicer towards the girl and she actually started to get to know the earth pony better. Instead of seeing her as hyperactive loudmouth, Chrysalis now saw Pinkie as a pony that tried her best to make others feel better and could be very reliable. She actually felt slightly alone whenever they closed shop as she only had the company of herself. Pinkie provided energy to her private atmosphere and it was better for her psyche to talk to somepony rather than cycle in her own pessimistic thoughts.

And then there was something that was going to inevitably arise. If Chrysalis was to carry out her plot to become queen of the changelings again and conquer Equestria, she would have to do something with her pony friend. A nice private and cozy prison might work, but she couldn’t help but picture Pinkie going ballistic and screaming at her, wanting no more to do with her. There was mind control which would provide no fuss from her, but it just wouldn’t be the same. She couldn’t bear to make Pinkie an obedient zombie. The thought of losing her sort of best friend nearly made her change her mind about the invasion. But with no invasion, how were the changelings going to be fed and earn their superior status among the other races? She would have done all this work for nothing. Her original plan would still have to continue. There was to be no holding back or even attempting to compromise. The idea of living among ponies still left a bad taste in her mouth and she most certainly did not trust Celestia or even Luna.

These worrying thoughts left her in a constant sour mood that only got worse whenever she had to work with her clients. Getting even a short coffee or bathroom break would only leave her mind to retreat to her worries again. Her bedroom desk drawer steadily became filled with letters from Princess Luna that she couldn’t will herself to read or reply to. She could not bring herself to make contact with her as she had the same problem with the princess as she did with her employee. She supposed she could see her taking a liking to Pinkie, but Luna of all ponies? She was the one who was currently trying to hunt Chrysalis down and even ran that changeling lookout group, which was thankfully gone now. As with Pinkie, she did not want to see her get hurt. Chrysalis believed that this feeling had generated from their several encounters and she wanted to know more about her past so she could help herself in the present. She also deeply appreciated how Luna was always so concerned about her and she thought it was nice there was somepony who cared about her, unlike back home. Often after closing for the day, she would sit by the mailbox and debate whether or not to write to her, missing her company deeply.

Another thing that was really bothering her was her alternative ego, Cherub. She spent so much time playing as her that she felt like that Cherub was real while Chrysalis barely existed. Changelings were not meant to live a secret life for such a long time out of the risk of becoming too submerged in a personal relationship and choosing to abandon their original kind. Changelings at most spent a month in the pony realm before abandoning their disguise and returning home. She just wanted to be Queen Chrysalis again. Even though both identities practically acted the same personality-wise, she just missed being herself and having what used to belong to her.

Everything started to become monotonous clockwork to the changeling, slowly counting the days of her banishment and dreading her time away from home. She would wake up, greet Pinkie, work for eight hours, shove Pinkie out of her house, and then just lie on her bed. Her weekends were even less exciting. She had found herself lacking motivation to do anything, not knowing what to do about her situation. Pinkie had obviously noticed her change in mood and had been trying to make her happy, but Chrysalis’s harsh words often put her to a stop. She did want to feel better, but not from that girl’s help. Pinkie provided occasional chuckle worthy antics, but she needed more serious personal guidance.

She could not downplay Pinkie’s efforts in the business, however. She alerted Chrysalis about the magazines talking of Fancy Pants and Photo Finish, who were now officially together in a relationship and the stallion even mentioned her business like he promised. This caused ponies from various magazines to come to Chrysalis, all wanting interviews of her success. She gladly accepted them, knowing that this would bring a surge in her business and have her come home sooner. Pinkie wanted to talk to the ponies as well, but the changeling prohibited her from doing so as she wanted all the credit to herself and because she didn’t have much public relations management skills should Pinkie blurt something absurd in an interview.

Requests stacked and overflowed Chrysalis’s inbox. She and Pinkie had been working overtime to deal with all of their eager customers, who were more than willing to just throw money at her. Chrysalis figured that the huge flux would only last shortly, so she was going to take as much advantage of it as she could. Her mood actually lightened up from her business improving, but she was still very irritable towards others, especially Pinkie Pie.

Her building was currently flooding with ponies and she was doing her best to deal with them. She had to make sure that she and Pinkie wouldn’t be forced to go with a costumer for some additional help too often as she could not let so many rowdy ponies hang near her home while they were gone for possibly hours. Luckily, months of experience allowed her to do plenty of work from home and she could finish helping a pony in short time. What normally took half a day for a client could be done in sixty minutes or less with some exceptions. “Thank you for coming. Next!” A bunch of ponies started calling and waving at her, all wanting her. “One at a time! And get your filthy hooves off my couches!”

Her joy in booming business did not last as she realized she was actually getting too many customers. By the sixth day of her sudden influx of customers, the line to her house stretched for blocks. She had to keep dating profiles archived in multiple filing cabinets and filing away those who already started dating. She eventually took the risk to make Pinkie work overtime to organize their clients and their possible ponies of interest, but it was becoming too overwhelming. She was just one changeling in a house-operated business. All her magic and past experience of listening to citizen requests back at the kingdom weren’t enough to handle what she was given. At lease she had chancellors and several associates back home to help her through busy times like this. She needed a better way of doing her job, but nothing came to mind. What could she do? It seemed like there was an obvious answer, clear as the eager eyes of a client sitting across her desk, but she was too frustrated to find it. She needed to relax when work was over and find it herself to prevent her sanity from running out. It wasn’t like the answer to her problems would suddenly show up at her door.

But then, as Pinkie was trying to control the crowd that infested her home, they were all silenced by a loud horn that came from outside. Chrysalis noticed something appear outside the front window. It was a large mechanical contraption that had stopped right outside her building and was carrying two ponies, who were approaching her door. “Pinkie, what in Equestria is that thing?”

Pinkie took a look and gasped. “I know what that is and I know who they are!”

“Who?”

Suddenly, the door flung open as two twin unicorns entered. “Ta-da!”

The pink earth pony flailed her legs around. “It’s the Flamflim brothers!” 

“That’s Flimflam to you!” corrected Flim.

Everypony stared in amazement by their entrance as they walked across the room, greeting everypony they met. Once finished with the crowd, they stood in front of Chrysalis. “Greetings to you, Cherub! I am Flim!”

“And I am Flam!”

“And we have a deal for you!” they said simultaneously. 

Chrysalis was still caught by surprise of their appearance. She shook her head and resumed her focus. “Nice to meet you both.” She was honestly unsure how she felt about them having just stormed in all of a sudden, but she felt that she should hear them out. “Pinkie, would you be a dear and go handle the customers while I deal with these two?”

Pinkie saluted her. “You can count on me, Ms. Cherub.”

Once the pony went over to the crowd, she turned back to the brothers. “So what’s this deal you are so eager to share with me?”

The brothers took a seat in front of her. “Word in town is you’re quite the popular girl,” complemented Flam.

“And we know about the recent news with the Canterlot Couple, but that’s not why we’re here. We did some research on you and found something very interesting.” Flim reached into his shirt pocket and brought out a jar, which he placed in front of her. “This is your handy work, is it not?”

Chrysalis recognized the contents of the jar to be her brand of “jelly”. “Ah yes, that…” She started to wish it didn’t get as popular as it did and sometimes regretted marketing it. It was a truly disgusting scientific breakthrough and an even more disgusting treat. “What about it?”

“Well we have a fabulous deal proposition for you; one that will make plenty of bits.”

“More bits than this business!” remarked Flam.

“All you need to do is teach us the secret ingredient to your delicious jelly and you’ll be set for life!”

They both leaned towards her. “So what do you say?” they asked at the same time.

Chrysalis didn’t even need to think of her answer. “No.”

Her answer didn’t even sway them. “Now let’s not be hasty, sweet cheeks,” said Flim. “The profit would be split fairly, twenty-eighty!”

Chrysalis glared at them. “Even if I was the eighty, and I know I’m not, my answer still stands. I have no interest in money.”

The brothers burst out laughing. “That’s rich of you to say you don’t want to be rich!” mocked Flam.

“Tell me, Cherub, what are you interested in if not cash?”

“Creating love, and that’s it,” she answered calmly.

The two unicorns huddled and began whispering to each other. After a moment, they broke away. “So running your business successfully is all you desire?” asked Flim.

“That is correct.”

“Now tell me, do you really think you’re doing a satisfactory job like this?” He pointed to the mob of ponies that Pinkie was trying to control. “A room and a few street blocks cramped with ponies, waiting to be served one at a time in the bright sun? This is simply unacceptable!”

The former queen did not enjoy their criticism. “What’s your point?”

Flam leaned on her desk, grinning. “Think about it: If you had more bits, you could do better! And we can help you pull it off!”

The unicorns had hooked the changeling’s attention. “I’m listening.”

Flim spoke first, eager at the chance of striking a deal with her. “Why use this tiny room with only one pony for such a big job? What you need to do is get bigger!”

“Bigger?”

“Bigger! Bigger building, bigger work force, bigger advertisement, bigger results! And all this can be accomplished with money! If you choose to agree to our deal, you’ll have the money to accomplish all of this, provided you split the profit with us, of course. But in the end, you will be able to create all the love you want. So what do you think about our deal now?”

Chrysalis reconsidered their offer. With the recent news, her workload was starting to overwhelm her. However, this type of popularity was exactly what she needed. They also provided a good point about increasing her employment. She couldn’t simply leave all the costumers alone while she and Pinkie were out on a job, which often took hours. Her business was hitting the ceiling and she needed to expand. Having more ponies working for her and possibly even larger methods of advertisement could really help her out. It should have been obvious to her to have considered something like this earlier, but she was not too good at scheming when she was stressed. However, she faced two problems. The first was that she knew they were obviously trying to rip her off. Something in their voices and their glances were telling her that their co-operation would help them way more than her. However, that could be easily fixed with persuasion and intimidation or maybe some charm if she was desperate enough. The second problem was what concerned her most. There was no way she could tell them her secret and she wasn’t even sure if she could create a suitable substitute that would pass a taste test. But she could not let a deal like this pass. She needed to see where it would go. “I have thought it over and I’ve decided I want to accept.”

The Flimflam brothers clapped. “Oh how splendid!” said Flam happily. “I knew you would come around. Now we-”

“Not so fast,” interrupted the changeling. “I’ve got some conditions I want to lay out. First of all, I will not give you the recipe.”

They both gasped. “But we can’t make money without it!” remarked Flim.

“I will still provide you with the jelly, but you will only receive sixty percent of the production.”

“Sixty percent!?” Flam was just about ready to faint. “Why not all?”

“The other forty percent goes towards the Cakes, who I’ve been dealing with for a long time and I know I can trust them,” she replied coldly.

“You’re saying you don’t trust us?” asked Flim.

“I think you’re both full of manure, but that’s beside the point. Lastly, the profit will be seventy-thirty, with the majority going to me.”

Flim and Flam huddled again and then broke away after some whispering. “Sixty-forty, while giving us all of the produced jelly,” offered Flam.

“No.”

“Now don’t be unreasonable, Cherub!” laughed Flim.

Chrysalis got angry and stood up, no longer able to deal with their smug attitudes. “Me? Unreasonable? Your first offer was to rob me blind!”

“I have an idea!” Pinkie called.

“Well what do you expect? While you sit in the kitchen and cook, we will be out there trying to sell, sell, sell!” exclaimed Flam.

“I have an idea!” Pinkie called out again.

“And what makes you think I need either of you? The Cakes do a fine job selling it.”

“But that’s only in Ponyville. We could have it distributed all over Equestria, where you can grab many more customers!” informed Flim. 

“But it wouldn’t do me any good if I don’t make any money from it!” yelled Chrysalis.

“I HAVE AN IDEA!”

The three were heavily startled by Pinkie shouting through a megaphone. “Was that really necessary?” asked Chrysalis as she rubbed her ears.

Pinkie tossed it aside. “Yes, because I have an idea. Why don’t you split the profits fifty-fifty and give them half of your jelly? That’s fair, right?”

Chrysalis shrugged. “Sure, but I don’t think they’re willing to accept.”

The stallions both nodded. “And she’s right. We simply won’t allow it,” said Flim.

“What if we included Cherub’s super special bonus?” asked Pinkie.

Flim and Flam looked at her. “What super special bonus?” they asked at the same time.

“Well isn’t it obvious? Cherub is super good at finding ponies love, so maybe she could help both of you find love! Isn’t that better than making money? You should hire us to find you special someponies and then give her a fair share. Deal?”

The two stallions rubbed their chins, clearly interested in what she was suggesting. Once again, Chrysalis saw why Pinkie was a worthy pony. She was surprised the young mare could think straight under all the pressure they were going through. “I am quite a talented pony when it comes to matchmaking as you can clearly see and I am more than qualified in finding a good pony that you will both want to spend the rest of your lives with. You may not be able to buy love, but you could pay somepony to do it for you, right? So if I find you two love, how about we do fifty-fifty? Not only that, but if you help me pay for the new building, I will give you a good percentage of the profit I make. Also, if you do a good job of selling as you claim, I may consider giving you a larger amount of the product. Does that work for both of you?”

The brothers quickly huddled again and whispered loudly to each other. Pinkie and Chrysalis waited for them to give a response, both hoping they would come to reason. They eventually broke the huddle, smiled, and extended a hoof towards her. “It’s a deal!”

“Excellent!” She took both of their hooves and shook them. “Now I think I can already think of a good match for the both of you. In the spa, there are these twin sisters and I’m sure they would love-” She was cut off when they both laughed. “Was it something I said?”

“We may look the same and even finish each other’s sentences, but some of our interests are completely different,” said Flim. “For example, I want a sweet, simple mare…”

“And I want a nice, rich stallion!” said his brother.

The changeling rolled her eyes, not surprised by the fact things could never be easy for her. “I see. At any rate, we are completely swamped for the week, but since you two are such important ponies, I will be willing to help you on Saturday if that is all right.”

“Very well. Flam and I shall be off until then! We will visit you Saturday in the morning.” They both exited Cupid’s Arrow and got into their car.

“See you Saturday!” called Flam as they drove away.

Once they were gone, Pinkie and Chrysalis looked at each other, both of them grinning. “I can’t believe it! Are we really going to have a bigger building with more ponies?” asked Pinkie.

“Indeed we are,” the changeling replied happily.

“Hooray!”

“Don’t cheer just yet. We still have to help them first before we can get started. If it’s possible, can you come by on Saturday? It would mean so much if you did.”

“You bet!” Pinkie answered excitedly. “I always love helping you!”

“I’m glad to see you’re so reliable. I should make you employee of the month.” While Pinkie acted giddy, Chrysalis got up onto her desk and whistled loudly. “Listen up, everypony!” The crowd of ponies in her home looked at her, falling silent. “I know that this is not the best way of dealing with a crowd of this size and I’m sorry, but I have an announcement. Soon, I will acquire the necessary funds to move to a much larger building. I promise you that when this happens, everything will move along much faster. But until then, this is the best I can do, so please do not make this any more difficult than it already is. So, who’s next?” The crowd immediately uproared as they all tried to get her attention. Chrysalis sat back down, defeated. “For once, I want the weekend to happen already.”





After a long week of hard work, Saturday had arrived. Chrysalis would have loved to take the day off because of all of her excessive workload, but today was way too important. Once she was finished with those slime ball brothers, she would be rolling in the bits and be able to expand her business. Chrysalis felt hopeful as her plan was evolving more towards its goal, currently neglecting the problems that she had earlier. She had noticed a decent of a rise in the love within Ponyville, but there was still much work to be done before it would be ready for her people.

Thankfully, Pinkie was more than willing to come to work today and help. The pony arrived at her usual time and was very excited, which wasn’t new of her. She flew through the door and could not contain herself. “Are they here yet? Are they? Are they?” She bounced around the house and looked in every room and closet.

Chrysalis actually chuckled from her excitement as she felt the same. “Settle down, Pinkie. I’m sure they will be here soon.”

The pony sat at her desk, eager. “This is so great! So what exactly are we going to do with all the money when we finish?”

“Buy a bigger building, of course. I’ve actually been looking for one for quite some time and I managed to find an available building that’s approximately the size of Sugarcube Corner.”

“Wow, your house is gonna be huge!”

The former queen happily nodded. “No kidding. I'm sick of living in this dump. I deserve so much better.”

“You don’t like living here?”

“Goodness no. I need so much more room than this. At any rate, the building I reserved from Short Sale has a little room in the back, which is where you and I will deal with customers in…privacy.” Chrysalis licked her lips. “As for everything else, I am still working out the details. I just hope those two will keep their word. I have also been saving up bits for a while so I could move out and it will certainly help when the Flimflam Brothers give me some money.” She regretted using the clever mind control trick on Short Sale since it would have been better to use it for a more expensive place and she thought it wouldn’t be wise to do it twice. “If they do as good of a job as I hope, I should be able to take a mortgage out on the building and we can get started sooner.”

“I can’t wait!”

The changeling spent the rest of her time waiting by coming up with ideas of how to make her business more efficient with Pinkie. Eventually, they heard the motor of the brothers’ car as they arrived. They turned off the engine and made their way in. “Here we are, the Flimflam Brothers!” announced Flim as he opened the door.

Their entrance always impressed Chrysalis. “Glad you’re here. Now let’s not waste any time. There’s love to be made.” She pointed to the two chairs in front of her and they sat down. “So which one of you is first?”

“Me!” they both said at the same time.

The changeling put a hoof on her face. “Lovely.” 

“I know!” Pinkie pulled out a bit. “Heads or tails?”

“Heads!” shouted Flam.

“Tails!” yelled Flim.

Pinkie flipped the bit and caught it as it came down. “It’s tails!”

“Darn.” Flam crossed his forelegs and pouted.

“Oh, splendid! So how do we do this?” asked his brother.

“Take these.” Chrysalis handed them both a sheet. “Just fill these out and we’ll do the rest. And no lying.” The two unicorns took them and began filling them out. Chrysalis and Pinkie waited as the stallions kept looking at each other’s paper and whispering to each other. When they were done, Chrysalis collected them. “Alright, Flim, let’s see what it says. Your occupation says you’re both an inventor and a business stallion.”

“Indeed. That contraption of ours back there is something we built with our own hooves.” Flim pointed behind himself. “Just you wait. One day, everypony will be driving around in cars like this all over Equestria.”

Chrysalis stared at the machine. She had no idea what it was, but it still fascinated her. “That’s very impressive. How successful are you two in the business?”

“We are quite decent. We make our own products and sell them to the public. We’ve hit a bit of hard luck since the cider incident, but I think you will help us out of that.”

The former queen knew all about the incident. She had a bad feeling about these two and recalled that Pinkie said she knew who they were, so she had the pony tell her everything that had happened when they last visited Ponyville. “I hope so. I’m putting a lot of investment in you two. Now, for a mare, you want one that is sweet, simple, loving, and understanding. I can easily help you with a mare like that, though it seems a little generic.”

“Just find me the girl and you can bet she will be drooling all over me! You probably won’t even need to lift a hoof when you see my speaking skills. And as for her being generic, sweet and simple is the best. What more would I ever need?”

“Good point. Ponies usually expect too much from their significant other these days.” The false unicorn was glad his ideal mare was easy. However, there was something about his personality that had her worried. “Alright, Pinkie, we got anypony like that who would be interested in him?”

Pinkie put her hoof on her chin and bit her lip, thinking hard. It was half a minute before she suddenly jumped up. “I know a pony! Carrot Top was looking for a pony like that. She said she wanted a handsome stallion who was nice and had a high paying job.”

“Where can I meet Ms. Top?” asked Flim, already interested.

“She’s Ponyville’s carrot farmer and she tends to work at home, so that’s where we’ll probably find her,” answered the party mare. “We can take you to her right now and make you two fall in love!”

“How kind of you. Very well, let’s make somepony’s dream come true!” The brothers and Pinkie went out the door, heading towards the home of Carrot Top.

“Or make her worst nightmare come to life,” Chrysalis quietly muttered as she followed.





Walking through town wasn’t like it was before for Chrysalis. Ever since her recent fame, everypony on the street wanted to meet with her. If she wasn’t so occupied with the brothers, she would have spent time meeting with them and getting the familiar feeling from the time where all of her subjects loved her. After following Pinkie for almost a half hour, the group saw Carrot Top in her backyard, watering her garden. They hid themselves behind some trees and bushes across the street so she wouldn’t notice them.  “Well there she is, Flim. Do you like her?” asked the former queen.

Flim looked at her and whistled. “Hubba hubba! That is quite the gal! She and I must be meant to be!”

Chrysalis groaned from his childish response. “Alright, so let’s plan how we’ll get you two together.”

The stallion walked ahead, laughing at her. “No need to worry. I have this all under control.”

“Get back here!” Chrysalis ordered furiously.

“Go get her, Flim!” shouted his brother with support.

Carrot was watering the flowers around her carrot patch while loudly humming. As she worked, she noticed a shadow being cast over her. She looked up to see the cuase, only to find Flim leaning against the fence while eating a carrot. “Eh, what’s up, Top?” the unicorn greeted.

She saw what he was eating and became agitated. “That wouldn’t happen to be from my garden, would it?” she asked in an unfriendly tone.

“It is, and it is the most delicious carrot I have ever tasted. I think you have quite the green hoof.”

“I’d be happy if it weren’t for the fact you stole it,” she snapped.

“My deepest apologies.” He pulled out some bits and gave them to her. “I hope this will cover it.”

“It will.” She continued working on her garden, but noticed that he was still there and staring at her. “Is there something I can help you with?” she asked aggressively.

Flim cleared his throat. “Allow me to introduce myself. My name-”

“I remember who you are,” she interrupted. “You and your brother had that cider machine by Sweet Apple Acres a while back.”

“What an amazing memory you have there. I’m glad to see you remember me.”

“Kind of hard to forget, especially when you almost had my friend Applejack and her family kicked off their land,” she informed sternly.

His confidence began to sway. “All in the spirit of competition, I’m afraid.”

“There was also the fact your cider tasted absolutely awful. Took me days to get the taste out of my mouth and I don’t think I can drink cider again.”

He wiped the sweat off his forehead while maintaining his smile. “That was simply bad luck. All of the cider the ponies had before tasted just as good as theirs, probably even better!” he argued confidently.

She just glared hatefully at him. “So why are you here? Don’t tell me you invented some sort of carrot juicer and want to run me out of business.”

“No, but I will gladly build you one if you want me to, Ms. Top.”

Carrot Top placed her gardening tools on the ground. “Why are you here, you scoundrel?”

“I’m just trying to make conversation,” he answered innocently.

“Okay, why?”

“Well why not?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re up to something, aren’t you?”

Flim gave her a sly grin. “I might be.”

“Well you better give up whatever you are doing. I am not interested in the least.”

“But do you even know what I am doing?”

“Trying to sell another invention?” she guessed.

“No.”

“Trying to drive me off my home?”

“Not at all.”

Carrot Top sighed in absolute annoyance. “I give up. What’s your big plan?”

“Well why would I stop here and continue speaking with a beautiful mare such as yourself?” he hinted.

“Well obviously since you used the word beautiful, you’re trying to…” Carrot Top trailed off and grew a look of disgust on her face. “Oh Celestia no.”

“Oh yes!” he responded happily. “I just happened to notice you and I can’t pull my eyes away. You have a lovely appearance and an angelic voice.”

She felt an overwhelming sensation to puke from the way he was making moves onto her. “And what would make you think I would be interested in a weasel like you?”

“Because I am a stallion that rolls in the bits, kind of like what you are interested in, Ms. Top.”

She picked up her gardening tools as she was done listening to him and just wanted to get back to work. “I would never even…wait. How do you know what kind of stallion I’m in to? And how do you even know my name?”

Flim gulped and tugged on his shirt collar. “Well…I…”

She held the pointed end of her spade in front of his face in a threatening manner. “You have one minute to get as far away from my house as fast as possible before I contact the authorities.” The mare left behind the frightened stallion and went into the house, slamming the door upon entering.

Once she was gone, Flim hung his head in defeat and returned to where the others were waiting. They didn’t hear what was said, but judging from Carrot Top’s exit, they knew it went badly. “What happened, Flim?” asked Flam.

“She was a friend of the Apple Family and she is still upset at us for winning the competition. Also, I might have accidentally left an impression that I am stalking her,” he admitted.

Chrysalis face-hoofed hard enough to make her think that she may have left a print. It was already obvious to her that he did something wrong, but she did not expect it to be this bad. “There’s a reason I came, you moron. You should have let me tell you what to do instead of winging it. At any rate, Carrot Top is a bust because of that impression you left on her. Pinkie, please tell me there’s another pony we can try that may not be mad at them for the whole cider thing.”

Pinkie thought hard. “Maybe we could go see-”

“Ah-ha!”

The four looked at the source of the voice, only to find Carrot Top approaching. “So you are spying on me! I can’t wait to have you and your brother thrown in jail for-” She suddenly gasped and ran through the brothers, knocking both of them over. Her eyes had grown gigantic as she looked in awe at Chrysalis. “Y-y-y-y-you’re C-C-C-Cherub!”

Chrysalis smiled smugly, always enjoying praise no matter who it came from. “Yes I am.”

“You’re a total celebrity! You were the one who got Fancy Pants and Photo Finish together! I’ve read every article they had about you!” She then pulled something out. “C-can I have your autograph?”

“Of course you can.” Carrot handed her the pen and paper, which Chrysalis signed with her fake name. It had been months since Chrysalis received such respect and she was loving every moment of it. 

When she returned it to her, the mare squealed in delight. “My friends are going to be so jealous! Cherub was actually near my house and she even spoke to me!” Carrot Top then realized something, causing her to lose her enthusiasm. “Wait, why are you hiding here with those two?”

Chrysalis gulped, caught off guard from her question. “Well, funny story actually…”

Carrot interrupted her by gasping. “You were trying to hook me up with Flim, weren’t you!?”

She had a nervous grin, worried that her reputation was going to take a hit. “Um…maybe?”

Carrot Top turned away from her and approached the brother who lacked facial hair. She studied him for a moment, but then smiled. “So Flim, I believe you called me beautiful?” she said seductively.

The brothers looked at each other as they were very confused by her sudden change in mood, but Flim decided to go with it. “Why yes! I meant it when I said it.”

She giggled in a friendly manner. “How very kind of you. Flim, since Cherub wants you to get with me, I’ve suddenly taken an interest in you, so how about dinner later? Maybe we could get to know each other.”

He jumped at the chance. “Dinner? Sure!”

“Great. Come by at six. I’ll be waiting.” She turned to Chrysalis and shook her hoof rapidly. “Thank you so very much! I promise I won’t let you down!”

Chrysalis forced herself to smile. “Just doing my job. I hope you enjoy your evening, Carrot Top.”

“Oh, I will! Bye, Cherub! Come visit sometime!” Carrot Top trotted away happily back to her home.

The ponies were at first baffled by her sudden change in attitude, but then they were excited as Flim’s mistakes were undone in an instant. “Did you see that? She’s totally into me now!” exclaimed Flim.

“Good work, Flim! You’re going to really knock her socks off tonight!” complemented Flam.

“But she’s not wearing socks,” Pinkie corrected.

“No matter! This date is going to be spectacular! I must thank you for introducing us, Pinkie and Cherub. You two indeed do a good service to the world,” spoke Flim.

“This is great! One down, one to go! What next, Cherub?” asked Pinkie. “Should we find Flam a date now? It could be a double date!”

Chrysalis hesitated before answering. “Let’s go back and prepare Flim for tonight. I want to make sure everything goes perfectly.”

“Sounds good to us! We can discuss our deal while we’re there,” said Flim. 

As they began heading back, Chrysalis addressed the love struck brother. “So Flim, doesn’t it seem odd to you that she suddenly found herself interested in you after driving you away?”

“Nope.”

She gave him an expression of defeat. “So you think you’ve won her over by yourself and not by some other reason all together?”

“Are you blind?” asked Flam. “He totally left an impression on her!”

She could feel serious disdain for both the brothers growing inside her. “Oh, he left an impression alright. And you did as well, Flam,” the changeling sneered.

“How so?”

“I’ll tell you in Cupid’s Arrow. It’s something that we can only discuss in private.” She wanted to make sure they were in private for the nasty surprise she had in store for them. There was a problem with them that required her immediate attention and she was going to remedy it at any costs.





After a long walk with the three ponies happily chatting about what was going to happen tonight, they were back at Cupid’s Arrow. Once they entered, Flam asked, “So what’s the big deal, Cherub? Everything turned out as expected, but you seem bothered by something.” Chrysalis turned around and grabbed both of their heads, which she rammed together. The brothers yelped and rubbed their skulls. “What was that for!?” 

“You two are IDIOTS!” she shouted furiously.

“How are we idiots? Everything was a success!” Flim pointed out.

“It is for now, but you still have zero chance with her because you are a stupid fool.”

“Zero chance? Clearly you didn’t see how she was all over me. I bet you that tonight I’m going to plant my carrot in her garden, know what I’m saying?” He held out his hoof and Flam high-hoofed it.

She growled loudly, which caused Pinkie to back away. “And why was she doing that? Was it because of something you did or something I did?”

He just rolled his eyes at her. “What’s your point?”

Chrysalis sat at her desk and the stallions sat in front of her. “There is a point to this and I want you both to listen to me. The only reason Carrot Top has even the slightest interest in you is because she found out I was involved and she worships the ground I walk on.”

“So?”

“So I promise you that when she sees the real you, her interest is going to drop like an anchor and you will be back at square one. The fact is that you are completely unlikable and no mare will ever love you for you.”

He just waved a hoof at her, not taking her seriously. “Pfft, you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Let me guess what your big plan is: You’re going to take her out, compliment her a bunch and maybe wow her with some stories about yourself, and then give her dessert in the bedroom.”

His smug expression immediately vanished. “W-well yes, but what’s your point?”

She stared intently at him. “This would be a good plan if you planned on sneaking out in the morning, but you are actually trying to get in a serious relationship and I don’t think you’re ready for one.”

“Of course he is!” jumped in Flam. “Once he swoons her, everything will be golden! For such a great expert, you don’t seem to know what you are talking about. Maybe you wouldn’t be so uptight if you actually had a stallion to give you a good lay once in a while.”

Chrysalis blasted them both with a bolt of magic, knocking them out of the chairs. “Cherub!” yelled Pinkie, surprised by her violent outburst.

The changeling ignored her and walked to where Flim and Flam fell. “You two are hopeless. You don’t win a pony’s heart by just screwing them. You actually need to do much more and commit to it.”

“Well like what exactly?” asked Flim while rubbing his head.

“For starters, you need to talk to them better, since you left an awful impression in less than five minutes. If that’s all you got, your best friend tonight is going to be a sock.”

“For sock puppets?” asked Pinkie.

“Shut up, Pinkie,” Chrysalis snapped, causing her to whimper. “We have plenty of time to educate you two in acting like proper stallions and that is what we’re going to do.”

“But I think we’re charming enough,” argued Flim.

“And as the expert, I say you aren’t. If you really want to get together with her, then we will have to make you into a presentable gentlecolt. You need to provide more than compliments or money if you really care for a lasting relationship. I know you both think I’m overreacting about this, but I need to keep my good reputation when I do business with you two. If you screw up dates and have ponies find out you two are losers who like to play grab-flank with mares and have unlikable personalities or whatever that will cause a public stir like your little cider stunt, not only is your business going to tank, but since I’m now involved with you both, my business might take quite a hit. And if my business suffers, you will suffer.”

They both gulped from her threatening tone and slightly pushed their chairs away. “W-we’re not that bad,” Flam argued weakly.

“Oh yes you are. Pinkie informed me about your previous visit to Ponyville and it is no wonder why Carrot told you to leave her alone. The Apple family is widely known in this town, so many ponies here already know of that stunt you tried to pull. Not only are you both losers in dating, but you are losers in business as well." She brushed the hair that hung in front of her face. "Fortunately for you two, this is where I come in. I can help you both succeed in both worlds. I need you two to succeed as you are both important to helping me expand my business. And before you dismiss me, just remember which one of us is the celebrity who built their business from scratch. I assure you I know exactly what I am talking about.”

While the stallions didn’t like how she was insulting them, they did think she had somewhat of a point.There was also the fact they were scared by her icy tone and did not wish to stay on her bad side, especially after getting blasted. Flim just sighed and waved a hoof. “Fine. We’ll do it your way.”

Chrysalis smirked at them. “Glad you came around. Since the date is tonight, we shall help you two in learning about succeeding in the dating scene. Business lectures will come later. Pinkie, you work with Flam while I do Flim. Be sure to let me know if you need anything.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie bounced over to the kitchen with Flam following her.

Flim leaned in towards her with a dirty grin. “Oh, so you’re going to do me, eh?” Chrysalis blasted him immediately, knocking him onto the floor.

“No, just no. Sex jokes need to take a backseat when it comes to serious conversations, especially when you already come off as a pervert. It’s okay to do them when you two are closer, but just leave them out for now.” She she held her hoof out, which he grabbed, and helped him off the floor. “Let’s start with greetings first. I will pretend to be Carrot Top and I want you to take this exercise seriously.”

“Bring it on!”

“Very well.” Chrysalis cleared her throat. “Hello, Flim. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Hiya, babe! You ready for a fun night and the amazing after party?” Chrysalis once again zapped him.

“Wow. First thing that comes out of your mouth and you sound like a total slime ball. Are you even trying, Flim? Out of the many ponies I have encountered in this business, you have to be the most hopeless pony of them all.”

“Well what’s wrong with flirting?” he complained, sore from her assault.

“Nothing. You are just pushing things too far too fast. If the first thing you try to do to a girl is get between her legs with no interest in getting to know them, the relationship is doomed from the start. That’s not love, it’s lust.”

“So what do you think I should do, Ms. Expert?”

She gritted her teeth, but then took a deep breath. “You’re going to have to drop any attempts for sex as you two are practically meeting for the first time and the fact that you are a jerk. If you want some fun, you either wait for her to ask you or you go out on several dates and ask when you know things are going well between you two. Besides, we’re not trying to get you in bed with her. We are trying to develop at least a good friendship with her so it can evolve to something more. Relationships take time and commitment before it can fully bloom. Understand?”

“I suppose I do.”

“Good. Now let’s try again and this time, you will talk to me with respect. Remember: Love, not lust.” Chrysalis cleared her throat. “Hello, Flim. It’s so nice to see you again.”

“Hello, Carrot.” He paused as he thought what he was going to say next. “You look beautiful tonight.”

Chrysalis faked a giggle. “You’re so sweet. Are you ready to go?” She motioned her tail towards him. 

Flim slowly wrapped his around hers, worrying that he was going to do something that would result in more pain. “I sure am.”

The changeling pulled her tail away. “Well done. You actually acted like a decent gentlecolt for once.”

“This isn’t too hard.”

“We’ve only done the first fifteen seconds of a date that can take hours. We need to be sure you don’t screw up at all in that period of time.”

“Look, I know you don’t like me, but don’t you think you’re being a little harsh on me?” he complained.

“Maybe, but I have a good reason.” Chrysalis sat at her couch and pointed at the one across from her, which he sat on. “I’ve been doing this for a long time, Flim. You would not believe all of the mistakes I have seen done. An infant could do a better job than some of these ponies. The only reason I am lecturing you is because you were a complete flop with your first impression, much worse than most I’ve seen, and I do not want you to make any more mistakes. Besides, if I can help you here, it will help you in your business since first impressions are the most important. I really need you two to get your acts together. As part of our deal, I am stuck helping both of you until you find love and I want it out of the way as soon as possible.”

“Point taken. I promise I will listen to what you say if you act a little nicer.”

Chrysalis huffed as she pictured Luna telling her something similar some time ago. “Very well. Now, let’s try the restaurant scene. Where would you take her?”

“The most expensive one in town.”

She lightly nodded in agreement. “Not a bad idea, but there’s no need to go all out for a first date. Any fancy restaurant will do just fine.”

“But I don’t know any here.”

“Then you should ask her,” Chrysalis suggested. “That way she will be guaranteed to like wherever you go. Now let’s see what you can talk to her about.”

Meanwhile in the kitchen, the two ponies were going through their own methods of education. “Okay, so you be you while I’ll be a pretty mare!” said Pinkie.

“But I like stallions,” Flam corrected.

“Oh yeah.” Pinkie thought for a moment. She then smiled and grabbed her hair, which she pulled it over her face and pretended it was a beard. “Is that better?” she asked in a gruff voice.

“This is really weird, Pinkie.”

Pinkie lifted a hoof towards his face. “Silence! For this class, you will refer to me as Hunkie Pie!”

Flam tilted his head, mildly disturbed. “Hunkie…Pie?”

“That’s right. I will pretend to be the stallion of your dreams and we will pretend that you want to ask me out on a date.”

He sighed in defeat. “Well as long as it’s only pretend. It might actually be better for you to do this than Ice Queen Cherub.”

“Good! Now let’s pretend we just met and you want to know me better.” Pinkie placed on a monocle and held a pipe which produced bubbles when she blew into it.

“What’s that for?”

“I have to pretend that I’m rich, just like what you want.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Hello,” she said in her deep voice, “I am Hunkie Pie, richest stallion ever. Who you might be, old chap?”

Her rich stallion impression still struck him as odd, but he played along. “Erm…I’m Flam! I just wanted to meet you.”

“And you have. Was there something you needed, dear boy?”

Flam pondered where he was going to go with this. “Well I wanted you to know that you I really like your beard.” 

Pinkie began stroking it. “Thank you. I spend a hundred hours a day grooming it.”

“And it looks great. But have you ever been on a mustache ride?”

Pinkie stared at him with a perplexed look on her face. “Cherub?” Pinkie called, immediately sending Flam into a state of fear.

“What?” an annoyed voice called back.

“What’s a mustache ride?”

There was a brief moment of silence. “Just get the you-know-what.”

“If you say so.” Pinkie went back into the main room via bouncing.

Flam scratched his head as she left. “Now what is she up to?” Pinkie returned with something in her mouth. “Pinkie, what exactly is that you have there?”

Pinkie placed it in her hoof, pushed a button, and then touched him with it. Thousands of volts flowed through the unicorn’s body, causing him to fall on the floor while occasionally twitching. Pinkie smiled and looked at Flam, whose hair was sticking straight up. “You look so funny!” 

“I-is that a bloody taser!?” he shouted as he quickly crawled backwards away from her.

“Yep! Cherub bought this from Canterlot and she’s used it on many stallions who hit on her. Their hair looks so funny when she does it!”

“That thing hurts like the dickens! Why did you even shock me!?”

“Because you said something wrong and Cherub said I needed to punish you.”

“Can we do this without any pain involved!?” he pleaded.

“Fine.” Pinkie placed it on the counter. “So let’s try again.” Pinkie got her hair around her face. “I spend a hundred hours a day grooming it.”

Flam picked himself up and thought hard about what he should say. “Uh…that’s great. So…what do you do for fun?”

“I like to throw parties for all of my rich friends,” she answered while blowing her pipe.

“That sounds fun and not painful in any way at all. Could I possibly get an invitation to your next one?”

Pinkie nodded at him. “You seem like a fine fellow. Very well, I will have the butler of my butler’s butler send you one in the mail. I look forward to seeing you there.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Yay, you did it! That was great!”

Flam sighed with relief. “Good for me.” He went over to the fridge and poured himself a glass of hard cider, not caring that he was stealing from the scary mare. “So are we done yet?”

“Nope! We still have several hours to go.”

Flam threw back his drink. “This is going to be a long day.”





After several hours of lessons and some pain, Celestia’s sun began to set. They all rested in the main room with tea as they wrapped up their lessons and went over what Flim was to do for his date tonight. The Flimflam Brothers managed to get the hang of things and were now acting a lot better than earlier, much to the changeling’s relief. Chrysalis also gave Flim some pointers on selling to ensure that he would be successful in raking up the bits when they started selling her slime, hoping he would consider it.

“I certainly hope we’ve influenced your ways when it comes to romance,” said Chrysalis as she sipped her tea.

Flim drank from his cup. “As much as I hate to admit it, I would think so. I feel like I have a real edge now with Ms. Top or any other mare for that matter. Even worse, I feel like an idiot when I think about earlier today. I’ve even thought about some other girls from my life and it’s no surprise why they never stuck around.”

Chrysalis chuckled to herself, finding amusing it took him this long to figure out what was wrong. “Trust me when I say your chances with her are much higher now. Just stick with everything we’ve taught and you will be just fine. If all goes well, we can get started with your brother tomorrow and maybe even be done by then.”

“I would thank you, but I still feel a little tingly from your shocking,” pointed out Flam as he gave the evil eye to Pinkie.

Chrysalis smirked. “All for the greater good, I’m afraid.”

Once he finished his drink, Flim put his cup down. “You know, I’m a little curious about you, Cherub.”

“Oh?”

“You run this dating service, know so much about love, and are practically a celebrity, and yet you are a single mare who refuses to date anypony.”

The changeling just shrugged. “I just don’t feel ready to settle down yet.”

“Oh, so you’re just waiting for Mr. Right, eh?”

Chrysalis chuckled. “I guess. But until them, I can have any stallion I want,” she said with slight seduction in her tone.

The unicorns took notice of the way she spoke. “You have them often?” questioned Flam.

Chrysalis grew a smile as she recalled previous experiences with several changelings. “Mhm. I often need some time to relieve stress and it’s easy for me to get what I want.”

Flim stood up. “Hey, wait a minute. Why do you make us sound like jerks when we want to seduce somepony and yet you act like it’s completely normal for you to do it?”	

The false unicorn chuckled as she lied on the couch on her side. “There are so many differences between you two and I. You two are a bunch of cheats who have yet to contribute to society. When you seduce somepony, you only do it for your own pleasure like a bunch of animals.”

“And what about you?” asked Flam, slightly insulted.

The changeling stretched on the couch as she stared at the ceiling. “When I wish to give myself to a stallion, I admit I do it for fun, but I do a little more. As you can clearly tell, I am something to be desired,” she commented as she slowly rubbed a hoof up and down her body. “I turn quite a bit of heads wherever I go, all entranced by my beauty. As for who I pick, there are so many factors in terms of my decision. Obviously they need to be handsome and charming, but there are other things. If a pony is only interested in my body, I lose my interest in him.”

“I like a guy who takes me seriously. I want them to hear what I say and to appreciate me for who I am. Often I like a guy with confidence and experience as they know exactly what I want and they can give it to me, leaving me almost no work to do. However, I think I love a shy pony more. Some just want to catch a glimpse while maintaining their distance while others make feeble attempts in winning me over and it is just cute to see them fumble. Either way, I usually invite them for a little…spirit lifting.”

“They always blush so much and stutter their words when they find themselves in a bed with me. I just let them lie on their back while I fulfill their deepest desires. Eventually, they grow the courage to take charge and I let them have their fun. I even like to teach them a few of my tricks to keep things interesting. And in the morning after a fun night, it’s as if I’m lying next to a totally new stallion. They are so full of life and confidence, as if I broke the restraints holding them back. Because of me, they feel like they can take on the world. I’m sure they no longer have trouble in wooing any girl that catches their eye after being with a goddess like me. And that, you two, is why I seduce.” 

The three ponies stared at her in shock, all speechless from what she said. The only sound that was heard was the quite sipping as the changeling drank her tea, smiling from the sight of their expressions. “I think I need a cold shower,” Flim said suddenly.

Chrysalis laughed at him. “Have I really made you that uncomfortable?”

“Yes. I must wash of this unclean feeling before seeing Carrot Top tonight. You not only fill me with absolute terror, but you also turn me on and I think getting involved with you is a death sentence.”

She couldn’t help but smile evilly at him. “It truly would be. The shower is right upstairs and you are free to use it.”

“Thank you.” Flim ran up the stairs and slammed the door behind him.

Once he was gone, Chrysalis faced the other ponies. “So what about you two? Do I amaze you as well?”

“Um…you certainly have a way with ponies,” complemented a surprised Flam. “I’m sure ponies thank you for your…services."

The changeling smirked at him. “How about you, Pinkie?”

“No comment,” she responded blankly.

“That's a first from you." Chrysalis finished her drink and set the cup on the table. "Anyway, we need to start finding another girl for Flim. No time to fool around.”

Both ponies were immediately confused. “What? But I thought he was going to go out with Carrot Top,” said Pinkie.

She sighed and shook her head. “Yes, but it can’t possibly end well. He’s already left a sour first impression and that really counts in the long run. Besides, he’s probably so confident about himself that he won’t realize it when he makes a mistake. He may act like he knows what he’s doing, but he has yet to apply this knowledge in the field.”

The mustached stallion looked angrily at her. “Are you calling my brother an idiot?”

“That’s not very nice,” informed Pinkie, mildly upset at her.

“I’m sorry, but I am. You saw how he did the first time with Carrot Top. What makes you think he won’t do something like that again? It will be some time before my lessons get thought that thick skull of his. Hopefully you’ll learn from his mistakes and do better when we find you a date, Flam.”

Flam stood up, not willing to have Chrysalis bad mouth his twin.  “Oh yeah? Well my brother is far smarter than you give him credit for. I’m so confident in him that I’ll bet fifty bits that he’ll do everything just right!”

Chrysalis laughed mockingly at his offer. “Well I do love things being handed to me for free, so I accept. I should let you know that you are entering a bet you cannot win.”

“Flim is my brother and we stick together like glue. Maybe he isn’t perfect, but he’s my best friend and I will always be on his side. Maybe if you had a sibling, you’d know what it’s like to have somepony you can always depend on.”

That caused something to set off in Chrysalis. Her mood quickly shifted into boiling rage and she slammed her hooves on the table, shouting, “Make it a hundred bits!”

“Fine!” The stallion and the changeling shook on it. “You are going to be in for quite a surprise, Cherub,” said Flam.

“And you are about to learn how siblings are not exactly how you see them,” stated Chrysalis. As they stared each other down, Pinkie just felt sad. She could tell the red unicorn was very upset, but she would have to wait until after the date before trying anything to help cheer her up.





Before taking him to his date, they made a quick stop to the brothers’ motel room. Flim got out his trusty tuxedo and threw it on, trying to look his best for the night. Once he was set, they met up in front of the mare of interest’s house. “Well this is it,” said Flam as he looked at his brother’s destination. “Go and win her over, Flim.” 

“We’ll be nearby, so if the night gets really out of hoof, find us and we’ll do our best to help,” advised Chrysalis. “Remember, if things start going to Tartarus, do not attempt to fix it yourself. Leave it to the professionals."

“You got it. Wish me luck!” Flam, Chrysalis, and Pinkie ran into nearby bushes as he knocked on the door. After a minute, the door opened, revealing Carrot Top, who had her hair done and wore earrings along with an orange dress. Flim was stunned by how she looked. “You look so beautiful, Ms. Top,” he complimented in awe.

The mare blushed and giggled from his comment. “Please, just call me Carrot, and thank you. You look quite charming yourself, Flim.” She stepped outside and closed the door to her home. “So where will we be going tonight?”

Flim gulped. “I actually don’t know Ponyville all that well, so I was hoping that you could choose a place. Think of it as a way to make it up to you for how I acted earlier. We’ll go wherever you want and it’s all on me.”

Carrot squealed with excitement. “I know exactly where I want to go!”

While they spoke, the others watched from a safe distance. “Can’t you just feel the magic between them?” Pinkie swooned.

“I can’t feel much of anything since you zapped me,” stated Flam as he checked his pulse.

“At least she’s still talking to him, so that’s a start,” noted Chrysalis.

They saw the couple walking down the street, so they followed them secretly. “You honestly think tonight won’t end well?” Flam asked.

The changeling sighed. “Personally, I hope he pulls through and we can just get this done. I still have high doubts about your brother, but if he does good, I am willing to swallow my pride.”

“Well just you wait. I guarantee he will surprise you.”

“I’m sure he will. Anyway, while we sit around and wait, we should discuss a business contract for our deal.”

Flam nodded. “Quite right. We need to get this all sorted out before we start any selling or consider giving you money for your business.”

“Can I help?” asked Pinkie eagerly.

The changeling just shrugged. “Whatever. You can help, just don’t do anything to upset me.”

“Yay! I get to help! So how about this for a slogan?”





Flim and Carrot strolled through Ponyville while trying to get to know each other. As they spoke, Flim frequently looked behind him to see if the others were keeping up. Eventually, they arrived at a fancy looking restaurant. “Oh I have always wanted to go here,” squealed the mare happily.

From the look of the outside, the stallion could tell the place was very high class. “Looks pretty nice. Very well, let us dine here for our first night out.”

They entered the restaurant and took a look around. The room was dimly lit, with a lit candle placed at the center of every table, which had red cloths on top of each of them. There was some pleasant music being played by a pony at a piano, whose tip jar held quite a high amount of bits. They were seated at a table and given menus. Flim could see how delighted Carrot looked and felt relieved everything was going well so far. He then opened his menu and examined his options. “Whoa!”

“Is everything alright?” asked his date.

He quickly forced a grin. “O-oh yes. Everything is absolute fine. I’m just surprised that they have…that one thing on the menu. It’s my favorite.” What really caught him by surprise were the prices. It was only their first date and the mare had suggested what was probably the most expensive restaurant in town, which was something he originally considered.

“I bet you go to places like this all the time,” said Carrot Top.

He shook his head as he drank his water. “Not really. Flam and I are often traveling and we usually do this sort of thing after we strike a good deal. Can’t really afford to just throw around money.”

“I see. You must be really special for Cherub to be helping you on a weekend.”

“It’s part of our business agreement.”

“Oh?”

“Cherub has this strange jelly that’s very popular here and we will help distribute that wonderful jelly of hers across the country if she helps us. With her recent fame, I bet we can have it sold out in markets across Equestria.”

Carrot giggled. “I absolutely love that stuff. There are rumors that it helps ponies fall in love if you eat enough of it.”

He nodded at her. “I’ve heard that as well, which is why we are so eager to sell it. I am really curious of what she makes the stuff out of to have such a powerful effect.”

“She hasn’t told you?” Carrot asked.

He shook his head. “Nope. It seems to be a part of some super-secret family recipe and she refuses to give, no matter how much we offer. I shouldn’t be surprised she’s that protective of it. It’s delicious and possibly even magical.”

“That’s a shame. I heard Twilight Sparkle tried analyzing the stuff, but she couldn’t figure it out. It’s been driving her nuts for a while.”

He knew who Twilight was as she was Celestia’s student and knew her to be extremely intelligent. “Wow. Now I’m really curious of what she puts in that stuff if even that girl can’t understand it.”

“I think it’s better if we don’t know. It makes it so much more mysterious and fun. Maybe you could use the mystery to sell more of it.”

He smiled at her. “Perhaps we should.” The waiter approached their table and they gave him their orders. Once he left, Flim began remembering some of the things Cherub forced into his mind. Since Carrot Top was a pony he could end up seriously dating, he should get to know her better before proceeding. “So Carrot, tell me about your little business.”

She only shrugged at him. “It’s nothing special. I just grow carrots and sell them. I’m like every other farmer in town, only that I sell carrots.”

“At least you’re cuter than all of them.” Carrot blushed from the compliment. “How about we talk about-”

“Cherub?” she interrupted happily. “You must be so excited to be working for such an interesting mare. I heard she did modeling for Photo Finish once. Do you know if that’s true?”

Flim sighed, not wishing to speak of the mare who enjoyed giving out pain as a method of teaching. “I don’t know. I guess she did.”

“Well it wouldn’t surprise me if it was true. She is so beautiful. I actually went to her welcoming party, you know,” she informed with glee.

“How interesting,” said Flim in an uncaring voice.

“She kind of flipped out at Pinkie, but then later she shook my hoof!” Carrot became giddy and kicked her hind legs. “I should have known how special she was back then!”

He noticed the way she was acting and raised an eyebrow, recalling what Cherub mentioned about why Carrot suddenly wanted to give him a chance. “You seem to be really obsessed with her.”

The mare laughed. “Well who wouldn’t be? I mean, she’s a celebrity right here in Ponyville! And she’s not some stuck up jerk like Filthy Rich or Prince Blueblood.”

It was obvious to him that she didn’t know Cherub as much as she thought she did. “Doesn’t Twilight Sparkle live here? The student of Celestia who saved Equestria like four times already? Shouldn’t you be excited like this over her too?”

“Yes, but she’s kind of…ahem…boring. I really do appreciate everything she has done, but she just loves to read books and she can be a bore to talk to. But Cherub is so much different. She goes out and creates love! Love is what makes the world go round, you know?”

“So I take it you’ve tried her services?” he questioned curiously.

“I tried. So many ponies wanted her after the news came out and I was in a long line. I was supposed to have an appointment with her next week. There’s also her fee, which is incredibly expensive and I had to save up for a while.”	

“Why would any sane pony pay for her? Believe me when I say she can be quite scary.”

“Because she is so successful! Almost every pony that goes to her returns with satisfied results. It’s not just a onetime thing, Flim. She finds a pony their soul mate! She and Pinkie are a dream team!”

The waiter came and placed their food on the table. Flim had a salad while Carrot Top had a crab. The unicorn took one bite into his meal and his expression brightened. “This is really good. I wish my brother was here to try this stuff.”

She nodded as she took a bite of the crab. “I know. I’ve always wanted to come here, but being a carrot farmer does not make me rich. I can’t grow them in large amounts like apples and make stuff like apple pies, cider, etcetera.”

“Perhaps I can come up with some of food for ponies to enjoy, or maybe even invent something that will grow more carrots faster.”

“I forgot you two were inventors. What have you made besides the cider thing?”

“A few things here and there. Nothing that really flew off the shelves, I’m afraid.”

“That cider machine might have sold well if you didn’t try swindling the Apple Family,” she informed rather sternly.

The unicorn laughed nervously and tugged on his collar. “True, but the Apple Family in Appleloosa bought three. Of course, they kind of already knew who we were and we had to sell at a much lower price, but it provided us with heavy pockets.”

“So you’re filthy rich?” she asked curiously.

“Well funded is the term I would use. We still need to come up with something to put some serious bits in our hooves. With Cherub’s jelly and celebrity status, I think this might be our lucky break.”

“Well I wish you the best of luck. You don’t seem like the jerk we all saw before and I actually hope you succeed. You seem more like a true gentlecolt now and I thank you for taking me out.” Before Flim could respond, the mare suddenly grinned. “Speaking of Cherub, do you have any idea why she’s still single?”

Flim gave her a deadpan look for switching the topic back to the aggressive mare. “No, I don’t.”

“It’s just so strange to me. I heard rumors that she turns down any stallion that comes on to her. I wonder why that is,” she pondered. 

“Maybe she doesn’t swing that way,” Flim joked.

“Maybe. If that were true and I were a lesbian too, I would totally marry her!”

“You don’t say,” said Flim with extreme agitation. “So anyway, tell me about-”

“A funny thing that me and friends have brought up is how Cherub is much more active in creating love than the Princess of Love herself! Can you believe that?”

Flim was stabbing his food with his fork. “Shocking. Can we please-”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if Celestia made her the Princess of Love instead? I think she should if she could get ponies like Fancy Pants and Photo Finish together.”

“It would be a real riot. So let’s talk-”

“And she’s so smart! I mean, I wouldn’t have given you a chance before, but thanks to her, here we enjoying ourselves in this nice little restaurant. She has really affected our lives. Why maybe I should write her a thank you letter and-”

While Carrot continued talking, Flim just tuned her out. It was clear to him what was going on with his date and could not believe Cherub was completely right. Carrot was only interested in him because she was helping, but he had no idea how much of it was true. The earth pony was clearly obsessed enough to worship Cherub like a goddess. The only reason Carrot was here was because Cherub wanted it to happen. He was certain that if Cherub told her to marry him, she would accept without a second thought. The waiter came back and handed him the bill. He was already too annoyed by the mare to let the price bother him. He wondered if there was such a thing as karma and this was his punishment for all of his misdeeds. 





For over an hour, Chrysalis and the two ponies discussed their business deal as they waited for Flim and his date to return. So far, they managed to settle on the profit split and how much jelly Chrysalis would supply to the brothers. She could easily make enough with all the love around her, but she would have to drink more liquids to compensate. It would all be worth it in the end with the money she would receive and the business she would expand. They also discussed how they were going to market it and Pinkie proved to be a big help. Since Pinkie knew a lot about ponies, she was able to come up with good advertisement ideas that would surely attract many ponies to the mysterious jelly and Chrysalis wondered if she should use her to help advertise her own business.

“I think that covers just about everything,” said Flam, satisfied. “We can get started whenever you’re ready and bits will just fall into our laps!”

“I can’t wait,” Chrysalis said deviously.

“I’m so happy for you, Ms. Cherub! You’re going to be the most famous matchmaker ever!” exclaimed Pinkie with total excitement.

“It’s hard to think I’d ever get this far ahead, but life is just full of wonders.” She rubbed the top of the pony’s head. “And I will admit, you have been a big help.”

“As soon as Flim is done with his date, I’ll talk everything over with him and we can print out a contract before tomorrow,” informed the stallion.

Pinkie pointed to the distance. “We should ask him now!” Chrysalis and Flam looked to where she was pointing. Leaving the restaurant was Carrot Top and Flim and when they looked at the mare, they could see how happy she was. “Do you see that? Carrot Top is smiling! Their date must have been super fun!"

Chrysalis couldn’t believe her eyes. The mare looked like she had the time of her life, which she was not expecting at all. This pleased her greatly, knowing that she was done with one brother. “I guess he really pulled through after all. I suppose I have lost the wager, but I’m still satisfied since everything has ended in complete success.”

Flam tapped her shoulder and pointed. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Before Chrysalis could ask him what he meant, she noticed Flim, who seemed to be very sour. “What’s wrong with him?”

He shrugged at her. “I don’t know, but we should follow them just in case. I have a bad feeling about this.”

The rest of dinner went exactly as Flim expected. Occasionally, they would start talking about themselves and get to know each other’s interests, but then his date would derail and start gabbing on and on about Cherub, idolizing her. Flim did have some interest in her and wanted to see her more, but he worried that she was only doing this because of the love mare. After a long and uncomfortable walk, Flim and Carrot returned to her house. “Thank you for taking me out. I had such a wonderful time with you, Flim.”

He cleared his throat and spoke in a voice that made it obvious he was troubled by something.  “I’m glad you had fun, Carrot. The night was…enjoyable.”

The mare became aware something was wrong. “Are you ok, Flim? You seem upset about something.”

He turned away from her. “Me? I am quite fine. Nothing wrong here at all. Everything is just tip-top.”

Carrot Top slowly approached him, very concerned about him. “Flim? What’s wrong? Talk to me, please.”

He took a pause. “Did you only go out with me because Cherub wanted you to?” he asked in a sad voice.

“What?”

Flim made a sniffle. “It’s true, isn’t it? You thought I was a loser and you suddenly changed your mind when you saw her. You don’t like me at all. All you wanted to talk about was her, not wanting to get to know me.”

“No! I…” Before Carrot could think of what to say, his words slowly sank in. She realized that what he was saying held some truth. She honestly didn’t think that much about him until Cherub appeared and she did recall talking about her a lot tonight. “Oh Flim…”

“I see how it is. You still think I’m a jerk from before and you don’t like me.”

The mare gasped. “No! That’s not true!”

“Yes it is! You still remembered about the cider incident and you didn’t give me a chance earlier today.” He sighed loudly and looked towards the sky. “How long must I carry this burden? I try to be a better stallion, but everypony still sees me as the same old Flim. I’m changed, but you didn’t seem to notice. I guess I have been just getting my hopes up for nothing.” He then started sobbing.

Pinkie was devastated by what she was seeing. After everything they did today, if it was all for nothing. Flim’s night was ruined and he was clearly heartbroken. The sight of everything made the mare cry herself. “This is awful! Carrot didn’t like him very much and now Flim’s sad! We have to do something!”

“No.”

Pinkie gasped and looked up at Chrysalis. “What do you mean no!? Why would you just sit there and let Flim’s heart get broken like that?”

The changeling just smirked as she watched the display being shown from the couple. “Isn’t it obvious?”

The sad mare shook her head and then grabbed her and shook her rapidly. “No! Why are you letting this happen, Cherub!? WHY!?”

The former queen looked at Flam with an amused look on her face. “You want to tell her?”

“Why certainly. You see, Pinkie, what you are witnessing is quality acting.”

Pinkie slowly stopped sobbing. “A-acting?”

“Acting! We do it all the time for our business. Flim’s pretty good to have you fooled since he has years of experience.”

“But why? Why would he pretend to cry?” the pink pony asked in confusion.

“If I were to venture a guess,” began Chrysalis, “it seems he is trying to guilt Carrot Top for ignoring him during their date and get something out of it.”

“It would seem so.” The stallion looked at her. “I’m surprised you could see through him, Cherub."

Chrysalis shrugged with a smile on her face. “What can I say? I have an eye for these things.” The changeling could easily tell he was faking from her natural ability to sense emotions of ponies. Even without her gift, she would have figured it out eventually. If Flim didn’t find himself in tears after being left with Chrysalis for several hours, nothing could break him. “I am ever so curious how he is faking those tears. It is quite convincing.”

“It’s very easy,” Flam answered happily. “You just got to put something in your eyes and make them sting, like that salt he used earlier. We use that trick all the time, whether we’re selling, running charities, or on trial.”

Carrot Top looked up at the stallion. “I’m so sorry for everything, Flim. You were trying so hard to impress me and I didn’t consider it. I was just so enthralled by the fact Cherub was involved that I didn’t even notice you during our date. I feel so awful about everything now. I can see now how different you are and how much of a sensitive gentlecolt you are. You were really trying, Flim, and I made a mess of things. Is there anything I could do to have you forgive me?”

He had to repress the urge to grin, knowing he had her wrapped around his hoof. “Well, there is one way.”

“Name it.”

Flim looked at Carrot Top. “How about some time later, we have a second date and hopefully do things a little better this time. Let’s just talk about ourselves and no pony else.”

She blushed. “After everything I did, you still want to give me a chance?”

“I do. I find you quite interesting and beautiful, so I would love to see more of you.”

The mare nodded at him. “It’s a date.”

Flim put on a smile. “Great! I’m afraid I will be busy for a while, so it might be a while before we will see each other again.”

“Okay. Take care of yourself.” 

“You too. Have a good night.” As he turned away, the mare pulled him back.

“I almost forgot.” She leaned in a kissed him passionately on the lips. She pulled away some seconds later. “Goodnight, Flim. See you next time.” The mare then walked into her house and closed the door behind her.

Flim strolled proudly down the street, satisfied with the final results of his date. He heard hoofsteps behind him and saw the three ponies approach him. “Whoa nelly! You really scored on that one!” shouted Flam.

Chrysalis sat down and clapped. “I am not going to lie: you pulled that off amazingly. It was one thing to realize that Carrot Top was no good, but to call her out on it and get a second date with her? You are a real inspiration. Your little act had me at the edge of my seat.”

The stallion couldn’t help but grin. “Well I suppose you deserve some credit, seeing how you set my head straight. It’s hard to believe that we worry so hard about me that in the end, it was Carrot Top who killed the mood.”

“I honestly never expected that, either,” admitted the former queen. “Well, Flim did a good job, but the date was a mess, which I suppose means neither of us win the bet.”

Flam laughed. “It’s strange, but apparently you’re right.”

“Huh? What bet?” asked Flim.

Chrysalis waved a hoof. “Oh, it’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“This is so great! Are we going to find a pony for Flam tomorrow?” Pinkie asked eagerly.

The changeling nodded. “Indeed. I am sure he can handle things as well as his twin did, so there will be nothing to worry about.”

“You bet I can. After Pinkie’s pointers, I feel ready for anything! Well…except sudden shocks,” he muttered.

Chrysalis chuckled evilly at him. “Good. I expect a hundred percent from you.”

“So you just find my brother a pony just as good and our deal will be official!” stated Flim.

“I can’t wait. I am confident we can find you your perfect stallion,” Chrysalis said with cheer in her voice.

“I have faith in you. Flim and I shall discuss our deal and have everything ready tomorrow, so we’ll be going now. Goodbye, you two,” said Flam as he and his brother walked away.

“Bye, guys!” shouted Pinkie as she waved to them. Once they were gone, she walked aside Chrysalis. “You see that? You were totally wrong about Flim, Cherub!”

The changeling nodded. “I suppose I was. For once, I am glad to be wrong. I actually feel that Flam will do just as well tomorrow and we can start selling for some serious profit.” Chrysalis couldn’t help but smile. She was going to be home sooner in the Changeling Kingdom than she thought. Despite worrying about her plans recently, she was just happy with the fact she was going to be home.

“We’re going to have more employees, too! Aren’t you excited?”

“I already have enough headaches,” muttered the changeling to herself. She seriously wondered who in the world she was going to hire and how exactly they could help her. At least they couldn’t possibly be as bothersome as Pinkie, so it shouldn’t be too bad as long as she didn’t try to befriend them.

Pinkie noticed the annoyed look on her face, so she felt nervous. “So…I was wondering if you want to do something fun to celebrate.”

The changeling just looked at her. Chrysalis did feel like going out for some fun, but her mind said no as doing such activities with Pinkie would only add to her problem. “I’m sorry, but I’ll pass. I’m going home and getting beauty sleep.”

Pinkie ran faster to get in front of her. “Aw, come on. We can do whatever you want. Just say the word and we’ll do it.”

“I said no,” the changeling answered, steadily getting irritated by her persistence.

“Pretty please?” she begged. “We don’t hang out anymore.”

“No!” she suddenly snapped.

Pinkie flinched. “Why are you mad at me?” she asked nervously.

“Because you can’t take a hint! I said no, and that’s the way it’s going to be! I don’t want to do anything with you, Pinkie!”

“But…”

“But nothing! I’m going home and that’s that. Do you have a problem with that?” The pony remained silent. “Good!” Chrysalis began heading home, but Pinkie finally spoke.

“Why are you sad?”

Chrysalis stopped and just stood there, surprised by the question. The pony couldn’t have possibly noticed that, could she? “What…what makes you think that I am? I am perfectly fine.”

“No, you’re not. You haven’t been yourself for a while. You hate doing fun things and you’re being really mean again.”

The former queen turned and narrowed her eyes at the party mare. “Why don’t you butt out of my business?” she asked in her most unfriendly voice.

“Because I am your friend and I care about you. Just tell me what’s wrong and we’ll figure out what to do!”

Chrysalis got in her face. “You are a nosey brat! I didn’t ask for your help and I won’t start now! They are my problems and mine alone! If you keep bothering me with your nonsense, I will fire you! Get it?”

Pinkie was stunned by her threat. “G-got it.”

“I’m glad you understand. Now go home and leave me be. And remember, no more of this garbage.” As Chrysalis tried to leave a second time, she heard Pinkie say something quietly.

“I’m sorry…”

She looked at Pinkie, who was walking away with her head hung low. The sight actually made her feel bad for snapping at her and she knew she was going to feel guilty about it all night. “Pinkie,” she called.

The pony looked back.  “Yeah?”

Chrysalis sighed and looked away from her. “I apologize for getting angry. I know you have good intentions, but please, just stop worrying about me. I promise I’ll be fine and let us not bring this up again, okay?”

Pinkie sighed. “Okay.”

“And Pinkie?”

“Yeah?”

Chrysalis faintly smiled. “Thank you for watching out for me.”

The pony smiled back at her. “Nighty-night, Cherub.”

“Goodnight, Pinkie. See you tomorrow.” Once Pinkie left, Chrysalis finally made her way home. She truly appreciated Pinkie caring about her, but she knew why she could not accept her help. It was a shame Pinkie would not be so courteous to the real Cherub. She thought that maybe she could play with some mind altering spells, allowing her to both receive advice and retain her secret. She wasn’t sure how Pinkie would help her in taking down Nymph, but she was willing to take any advice at this point. But for tonight, she decided that she was going to prepare a hot bath, light some scented candles, and just unwind for the rest of the night to relieve her stress before her next job.