Remember kids, plagiarism is wrong, unless it's in a fanfiction, because nobody actually cares about those!
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"And that's how I met my third wife," said the cybernetic ghost of Christmas past from the future to Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie then asked, "Who was your third wife?"
"Weren't you paying attention?" Asked the robot. "I just told you, like, five seconds ago!"
"No you didn't! You just randomly said 'And that's how I met my third wife.'"
"Oh... I thought I told you the story."
"Nope."
"Would you like to hear the story?"
Pinkie shook her head softly. "Maybe later," she said, "but now, I need you to help me find a way out of here."
"You want to find the way out of here?" The robot clarified.
"Yessiree, Bob!"
"You are seeking an exit from where you are."
"Yup."
"The place you are at, you wish to leave it."
"Mhmm."
"You wish to achieve knowledge with which to use to escape from this location."
"Sounds about right."
[ninety five spicetastic minutes later]
The machine repeated, "So, you, being the genuine Pinkamina Diane Pie, wish to acquire from me sufficient information with which to achieve liberation from the location which is here, the place where you, Pinkamina Diane Pie, are currently located. Is that what you are asking?"
"Yes indeedy!" Pinkie said happily.
"Okay," the robot finally agreed. "Are you sure you want to know?"
"Yes! I really need to know!"
"Okay, but I'm warning you, this is crazy stuff you're about to hear!"
"I'm ready!"
"Okay, as it turns out..." The robot said, pausing for dramatic effect, "I am a woman."
Pinkie Pie sat still and stared in confusion for some time. "Um... O... Kay?"
"I know. It's a pretty crazy plot twist!"
"It also doesn't seem super relevant right now," said Pinkie.
"Relevant to what?" The robot asked. "What were we doing?"
"You were gonna tell me how to get out of here, remember?" Pinkie asked with a hint of frustration.
"I have no idea!" Said the robot. "I don't even know where we are right now!"
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MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN EGYPT
Zorc had found his first village to destroy. He had already begun knocking down the small buildings and setting the streets on fire with his dragon head. The screams of terror had given him the irresistible urge to sing.
"I can de-stroy the world!
Total annihilation!
Whipping out every nation,
I will cleanse the globe with fire!"
His Disney song parody was interrupted when he heard Florence's voice on a megaphone calling his name. "Zorc! Stop destroying the world right this instant!" Florence demanded. He was standing up on the back seat of a dark green Jeep with a megaphone in his hand. Pegasus was sitting in the front seat wearing full desert camouflage with a fabulous matching hat.
"But I am upset!" Zorc whined. "And this is the only way I know how to express my feelings!"
"No!" Florence shouted. "Bad! Bad Zorc! Bad! No annihilation!"
Zorc hung his massive arms in shame. "You never let me have any fun!" He said. He started to cry, but covered his eyes with his massive hands. "I... I hate you! I hate you!" He ran past them and made his way back to the hideout.
Pegasus put a hand on Florence's shoulder. "Don't worry Bakura. He'll come around," He said, "He just needs some time to think."
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MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Twilight and her companions had had plenty of time to make their way to the town. They were all huddled together behind a patch of brush, looking up at the Town Hall building, only one road away.
"Who's hoof is touching my butt?" Rarity yelped.
"Sorry," said Duke. "It tends to do that."
"Are you all clear on the plan?" Twilight asked.
"Got it!" Said Yami. "We use Tristan as a brainless meat shield while we distract Melvin, and while he's stabbing Tristan to death, you five will go inside and find out a way to bring back Pinkie so that you can use those element thingies."
"...You added a few details, but that's close enough," said Twilight. She nodded to her friends and they sprinted off, hoping to get their mission done before Yami and his friends had time to fail.
"Well, let's get going," said Yami, he began to move towrard the street, but Kaiba put one hoof on his side to stop him. "The hell do you want?" Yami asked.
"You're my arch rival, Yugi," said Kaiba, "And I know that once we get back to Domino city, things will return to the way they were, but for now..."
"A-are you coming onto me? Is that what's happening?"
"Shut up and listen!" Kaiba demanded. "This is the only time I'm ever going to work with you."
"What about season four?"
"F*** season four! What I'm saying is, today, I'm your ally. Tomorrow, I'm going right back to being the dick I was born to be! Because no matter what we go through, I will never be your friend! And I will defeat you one day, Yugi!"
"I hate you," said Yami, "With all of my hate."
"And that's the way it needs to be," said Kaiba.
"Is this about to turn into a yaoi fanfic?" Asked Tea.
"Big Brother," Mokuba said, tapping Kaiba's leg. "How come you never have conversations like that with me?"
"Mokuba, who gave you permission to talk?"
Yami and his company ran in to the Town Hall via the street, and when they had reached it, they saw that Melvin was already in the doorway with his Millenium Rod tucked to his side. He seemed to have been waiting for them.
Kaiba stopped running first. He stood awkwardly across from Melvin. "Um... Hi," he said nervously.
"Sup?" Asked Melvin casually, as if addressing a friend.
"...Nothing," Kaiba replied hesitantly.
"That's good," said Melvin. "I didn't want our activity to get in the way of anything."
"What activity?" Asked Kaiba.
"Your untimely deaths," Melvin said casually. He unsheathed the dagger inside of his Millennium Rod, inspected it in the sunlight, then licked it from the tip to the hilt.
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MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
Twilight and her friends were on the opposite side of the Town Hall building. The only thing keeping them from getting inside was a thin, wooden wall.
"Alright, Fluttershy, do yer thing!" Said Applejack. AJ was wearing two saddle-bags with the six elements tucked away inside.
A large portion of the wall broke open, and splinters of wood flew out across the inside of the lobby. The five ponies were still standing in front of the wall.
"Yeah, I can blow open walls with my mind," Fluttershy said casually.
One after the other, they trotted inside. The bottom floor was dark, the hole in the wall seemed to be the only source of light. However, it also seemed empty, and that was a good sign.
"It looks like Melvin wasn't expectin' company," said Applejack.
"Pinkie must be on a different floor," said Twilight. "Let's keep look-"
Twilight stopped talking when she heard singing. It sounded like Pinkie Pie's voice, but it was monotone and lifeless.
"Hush now,
Quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now,
Quiet now,
It's time to go to bed," Pinkie sang. Her voice seemed to be coming from the floor above them.
"Talk about creepy!" Rarity said with a shiver.
Fluttershy backed up toward the hole. "You know, now that I really think about it, we don't really need all six elements, do we? I'm sure you girls have this handled without me."
Rainbow Dash flew behind Fluttershy and blocked her way to the exit. Fluttershy looked back at her disapproving face and sighed. "Fine, I guess I can come with you... As long as I get to stay in the middle of the line!"
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MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF... OKAY, THIS JOKE IS GETTING REALLY OLD
"Kill Tristan first!" Yami demanded.
"Yeah!" Tristan shouted in agreement.
"I know a better idea," Said Melvin. He pointed to each of the Yugioh protagonists one at a time with his dagger, singing, "Eenie meenie miney moe. Catch a pharaoh by his toe. If he hollers stab his throat. Eenie meenie miney..."
"Money!" Kaiba shouted as he delivered a powerful blow to Melvin's jaw with his front, right hoof. Melvin was caught completely off guard and flew backward onto the ground, landing with the right side of his head first.
"I'm tired of this shit!" Kaiba yelled. "I've been in the background for this whole fanfiction! I'm not Tristan! I'm Seto f***ing Kaiba! Accept no substitutes!" He extended his front left leg with his hoof bent to the side in an obligatory, over the top, anime pose. "You think you're crazy? You think you're a psychopath? I DRIVE A JET SHAPED LIKE A F***ING BLUE DRAGON!!! NOBODY OUT-ASSHOLES SETO KAIBA!!!"
Melvin rolled to his belly and sprung back up. He levitated the Millennium Dagger and said, "When I'm done with you, your ego will fit in an ashtray!"
"Come at me, bro!" Kaiba dared. Melvin lunged at him. Kaiba pushed the dagger away by hitting the hilt with his shoulder, then delivered a spinning kick with one of his back legs. Melvin grabbed onto the leg and used it to force Kaiba onto the ground.
"Yug, shouldn't we be doing something?" Asked Joey.
"Implying that I care which one of them loses this fight," said Yami. "I've got an idea! Let's all take bets on which one of them gets killed. My money's on Kaiba."
"F*** you, Yugi!" Kaiba shouted while he struggled with Marik over control of the dagger.
"No thanks," said Yami.
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MEANWHIILE... You know what? I'm not doing this any more. You can figure out where they are on your own. I don't even need to be here!
The five element bearers crept up the stairs slowly in a line with Twilight in the front and Rainbow Dash in the back. Twilight reached the top of the stairs and stepped to the side so that her friends could follow.
The second floor was surprisingly less dark than the first. Candles on the sides of the walls provided at least enough light for them to see. The floor looked empty, as if Melvin had removed every piece of furniture only for the purpose of making it look more ominous and uninviting.
"Oh, this place looks absolutely horrid!" Rarity said in disgust. "And the lighting is all wrong! I can't even see anything in the center of the room! If you ask me, this is evil enough!"
"Ugh!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "How is that all you think about in a time linked this!"
Twilight concentrated on a spell and crated a purple ball of light on the tip of her horn. It was bright enough to light up the whole room immediately. When it did, they saw Pinkie standing perfectly still in the once pitch black center with a smug grin. Behind her was the Mayor and three other stallions they recognized from town. They all had the same blank eyes.
Twilight jumped back a few inches, not because she was scarred, but because she was so surprised that Pinkie Pie had been quiet enough for them not to notice her!
Pinkie giggled, she had giggled many times before, but this time was different. She wasn't giggling because she was happy. She wasn't happy at all, and for a pony like her, that was just creepy.
"How ya doin' girls?" She asked. When she spoke, it was like somepony else was talking at the same time, making her voice have a slight echo. "I was just hangin' out with my real friends. I suppose if you girls want to play too, all you gotta do is give up and let master Melvin control you. It's a real blast! I promise!"
The five gritted their teeth in anger. The sight of which made Pinkie smile. The three brainwashed stallions and the mayor started to step around on both sides of the element bearers.
"Melvin knew you would try this," said Pinkie. "If you don't give up now, were going to have to try a new method to persuade you."
"I don't know which is more insulting!" Said Rarity.
"Messin' with our friends..." Applejack said.
"...Or the fact that Melvin thought a couple of generic brain puppets would stop us!" Said Rainbow Dash.
"I'm glad you've all synchronized your little heroic speeches," said Pinkie, "But your voices grow irksome! Steves, attack!"
The four brainwashed ponies tried to move at her command, but they all froze in their places, no longer able to move. A vibrant, purple aura was surrounding the five element bearers. The aura expanded to envelop the mayor and the other three Steves, causing the four of them to drop unconscious immediately.
"You're going to remember who you are!" Twilight commanded. The aura expanded further, surrounding the room with light.
Pinkie tried to shield her eyes with her hoof, but she could still see the blinding light. "What are you doing! You can't be the ones to stop master Melvin! You're just a bunch of ponies!"
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The light inside of the Town Hall spread through every room and beamed out through the windows and doors.
"Wait a second, the frig was that?" Melvin asked when he saw the light display, taking his attention off of Kaiba. Seto seized this opportunity and punched Melvin in the jaw again. This managed to knock Melvin off and he stood back up and out of harm's way.
Melvin quickly reassembled his rod and gaped at the Town Hall as the bright lights receded.
"I sense a strong presence of the friendship in that building," Tea said.
"What... Just happened?" Melvin asked. For the first time, he did not sound confident.
"Here's a lesson for you, Melvin," said Yami. "If you can't beat one show, taking on two at the same time is a bad idea!"
"Face it, Melvin, no matter how hard you plan, if you're working for 4Kids, you're going to lose!" Said Kaiba.
The double doors to the Town Hall swung open and all six of the element bearers were standing on the other side with their elements equipped.
"Oh... EFF!" Melvin gasped.
"Your mind control trick didn't work you meanie!" Pinkie Pie shouted. She was happy to have escaped the confines of her subconscious. That robot was getting really annoying.
Melvin put on a look of confidence and readied his rod. "Foolish fools!" He shouted. "As long as her name is legally Steve, she has no choice but to obey me!" He held out the rod and made the eye glow yellow. "Stevie Pie, obey me!" He ordered.
However, Pinkie Pie wasn't effected at all. Instead, she giggled. "You're silly," she said.
"You are not the first villain to try to separate us," said Twilight, "and you as not the first to fail! I don't care how powerful your staff is! You will never be stronger then our friendship!" The eyes of the six element bearers began to glow brightly. Their bodies were encompassed by a white aura.
"I have the weirdest friendship boner right now," said Tea.
Two rainbows sprung out from their aura followed by a loud booming sound. They wrapped around the eight Yugioh characters like a tornado.
"Look, Tristan," said Joey as he observed the swirling lights around him. "It's a double rainbow!"
"It's so beautiful!" Said Tristan. "What does it mean?"
"You all do not belong here!" Said Twilight. "Go back and annoy your own world!" The rainbows tightened around the eight foreigners and plunged them back into their world where they belonged.
Immediately after they were gone, the bright lights faded away without so much as a trace. Leaving the six element bearers alone.
"So... Um..." Rarity said at an attempt to break the ensuing awkward silence.
"Let us never speak of this again," said Twilight.