“Well, this is as good as a time as any. It couldn’t be more apropos. The regime that you had once cherished has fallen. I’m not certain if cherished is the right word, but what does it matter, it’s all in the past now. I am here to proclaim the turning of the great wheels of history. Where Equestria had fallen, the great Discord stands upright and proud! I am merely a messenger, and I usher you into a new age of history! Gone is all sense of order or unity, let us have a toast, to welcome in this foul age of chaos!” [30]
After these infamous words, Discord wasted no time in spreading chaos across the land. Those who were not caught up with the news of the sudden coup became forcibly aware when the sky turned green and the clouds rained chocolate milk.[31] Houses became anthills, and sections of the land floated up in the air without thought or care. The pegasi who lived in the clouds were affected as well, as they were taught a harsh lesson on gravity.[32]
The question that remains is what motivated Discord to act in such a manner. Popular (a synonym for foolish) consensus agrees that Discord perhaps did not have evil intent, but rather he did such a thing for the sake of doing it. Lucky Foot concluded,
“What Discord truly desired was a world where order and chaos became both intertwined, yet as separate as oil and water. He was the type of creature who did things not to fulfill a certain agenda, but rather just to see if it could be done. And it was due to the nature of his very being that allowed him to accomplish this with a great amount of success. Despite being blessed with such a chaotic magical ability, Discord’s true strength lied in his personality, and more specifically, his ability to understand other ponies.
Not to understand them in terms of empathy, but to understand them in the way an athletic pony understands a ball. A true athlete would understand the ball completely, from the inside-out. They would know what exactly is needed to sustain it in the air, what actions must be taken to retain its movement, and how to move it in the right direction. However, no pony could ever state that the athlete considers the ball to be an equal. The ball is a tool for the athlete to represent their skill, and with Discord, the same idea exists. To use a more familiar analogy, he truly was a puppet master, bending ponies to his will. He was able to manipulate the ponies, play off of their flaws, and influence them however he pleased. This terrifying, yet unwavering skill of his allowed him to truly present himself as an unstoppable force…”[33]
But, as always, I hold a completely different opinion than those idiots. In fact, I believe that Discord did what he did in an effort to change the nation for the better. Not to say that the Equinus Republic was flawed, and not to say that I appreciate the extent that Discord went to in order to achieve such goals, but nopony could argue (meaning excluding everypony but me) that it was thanks to the intensity of Discord’s reign that he was able to help Equestria and do more good than that she-bitch Celestia could ever hope to accomplish.
For example, there were little recorded deaths or serious injuries as a result of his chaotic pranks, or in general, and the mortality rate of Equestria was marked at an all-time low. Of course, there were no reliable mortality records either, “their words had literally become mud”.[34] However, through careful analysis of various mud samples, I can fully endorse the legitimacy of this claim. Already Discord’s rule was closer to that of a utopia than Celestia’s.
He also stopped the uncontrollable and unapproved monster attacks on the ruined cities, replacing it with state-sanctioned monster attacks instead. This was a much needed improvement, as it alleviated much of the uncertain nature of these attacks with some consistent organization, so long as Discord felt like following a schedule. And the turnout for the Ancient Equestrian Games in Trottingham had never been higher, at least when it came to monster representation.
Under Discord, agricultural problems also were brought to a ceasing halt, probably because agriculture ceased to exist. Discord solved the starvation problem and the pegasi monopoly over weather control at once, by allowing it to rain chocolate milk and snow full-grown watermelons. Not only did such an instance of generosity show such genuine love for his newly suffering population (which, granted, was because of him), but it showed his shrewd wit and resourcefulness; qualities needed in a great leader. Celestia, take notes. Also, he tackled the economic problems of the nation by switching the national currency from bank notes to pure air. Under his regime, Equestria had literally never been richer. Of course, while this most likely led to mild inflation, such a thing would be expected from air.
Ignoring all of these great things that Discord had accomplished (confirmation bias at its finest), scholars take issue with his chaotic pranks and authoritarian rule. However, I believe that Discord only did such a thing to prepare Equestria for the greatest threat and tyrant it had ever known. It would be better for him to give ponies a taste of oppressive government before they really had to experience it. After all, the best way to learn is through experience right?
When it comes to the chaotic but unarguably hilarious pranks, such as the spontaneous combustions,[35] one could claim that he did this to ensure that he would become the most hated creature in existence. Maybe it was because he knew of his disgusting goat heritage (from the alien space orgy) that he was willing to “take the bullet” in history, to alleviate the burden he placed upon the world for housing such impure blood. In that case, Discord wasn’t a crazed, tyrannical extremist, but rather a well-intentioned moderate who only wished to do the right thing. Which is why he graciously continued to rule for a hundred more years.
But unfortunately, such a golden age would not last forever. It was thanks to their arrival that history changed for the worse. Emerging from nothingness not like stars in the shining sky, but rather like a demon unearthed from cursed grounds (or created by wearing a crown in a mirror world, but everypony and their mother would know that).
Celestia. And Luna too I suppose. With their rise to power, Equestria would never be the same.