//------------------------------//
// Life, Night of 
// Story: The Pony Project 
// by Palm Palette 
//------------------------------//


    



Life, Night of


In Canterlot, at the castle of the royal pony sisters, Celestia and Luna were preparing to exchange day for night. Celestia had just finished lowering the sun and was about to pass off the reigns of the sky to her sister when they saw it change color.

“What's that?” Celestia was taken aback by the alteration. Just as strange as the change of hues were the feelings that awoke within her. She was so old; she didn't think such feelings were possible anymore.

“The Crystal Empire? Is it under attack?” Luna jumped up and hovered of the ground. Her head darted around looking for a possible cause.

“I... don't think so.” Celestia took a long time to respond.

“How can you say that? Something has clearly subverted the Crystal Heart and bent it to its evil ways.”

“It's just... The Crystal Empire radiates hope, joy and love. And that-” she spread a wing to the sky “-is still love.”

“What? That?”

“Yes. Love has many facets, after all. Don't you remember what it was like to be young and full of passion?”

“...well I do now.” Luna landed and walked out to the tip of the balcony. “But it's not right. Love might have many facets but that particular one is... less than pure. It has no real place in civilized society. We should go to the Crystal Empire and put and end to this, post haste.”

Celestia scrapped a hoof-plate on the stone floor. It gave off a small spark. Luna quietly groaned. This was a sure sign that her sister as about to get philosophical. “Hmm, who are ones such as we to decide what is pure and what is not? We place so much weight on our structures and our formalities that sometimes it's good to be reminded that we are still living beings; that deep down, we are pony.”

“Yes, well, I'm done being reminded now. So if thee don't mind-”

“Hold sister. The Crystal Empire is Cadance's domain. We agreed to this.” Celestia's stretched out her wings, but stayed on the balcony.

“Cadance could be the one causing it,” Luna said. “We should at least stop by and ask.”

“If Cadance is the one who caused it, then I'm sure she's already aware of it, sister. If she wants our help, she can always send us a note.”

“True, but I'm still worried about the effects this will have. That's a very powerful magic.”

“I think you're worrying too much. We are a civilized society, after all.” Celestia turned around to retreat into her chambers. “I'm sure the night will be just fine.”

“That's easy for you to say, sister. You're not the one who has to watch over it.” Luna turned to the sky and raised the moon. The contrast with crimson sky made it appear to be tinged yellow, like it was covered in honey. The thick, sweet color made Luna cringe. 

She went back inside to put the guards on high alert. No sense in taking any chances if she could help it. When she entered the room, she couldn't help but see just how handsome they looked. She felt rather uncomfortable. Though from the looks of things, the guards were far more uncomfortable than she. They were a bit out of position, edging away from each other. As she approached, they seemed to shake and sweat. She'd never seen them falter before. “Pray tell, fair armsponies; what is troubling thee?” she asked.

Rather than answer, they screamed and broke formation. Each guard flew off in a different direction. Luna watched in shock as they deserted her. She wanted to chase after them, not just to reprimand them but to-

It was defiantly going to be a long night.


***



Before Nightfall



***


Twilight Sparkle felt horrible. Her failed spell had nearly caused yet another disaster. This assignment was eating away at her sanity, but that was no excuse. So what if she'd failed today? She could still learn something from it and try again tomorrow. If any pony would even talk to her tomorrow, that is.

Twilight got up and opened a window for Owlowiscious. He'd awakened at sunset and needed to get out and stretch his wings. While she was up, she looked in the mirror.  At first glance, she saw a frumpled and disheveled pony who-

The sky turned red.


***


Pinkie Pie returned to her room. She passed the Cakes cleaning up after their catering event. At any other time, Pinkie would have bounced in to help them. But tonight she was too full of turmoil to spread any joy. A nice little jingle about 'packing up the party' ran through her head. That made her feel even worse as she walked by.

She backed into her room with a 'pop' and looked into her mirror. Her ears were still a bit sore, but not enough to be terribly bothersome. Mostly it was just awkwardness because she wasn't used to the weight and the feel of metal on her skin. It was about as awkward as reading a story and coming across a paragraph that wasn't indented when all the rest were. You might not notice it until somepony pointed it out to you, but once you knew, your attention would just be drawn to it and how out of place it felt.

Pinkie hadn't tried to scratch at her ears recently so it was probably safe to take the cone off. She did so without undoing any of the straps (somehow) and gently placed it on her night stand. She'd return it to Pokey tomorrow.

There. Now she had a decision to make. 

Pinkie retrieved the case for her earrings and looked inside. It could hold two pairs: her fancy balloon earrings, and a simple pair of studs. It wasn't too late to just put both pairs in the box and go down to the hospital. They could still fix the holes in her ears without leaving any scars. That might be the logical thing to do. Keeping them would be long-term commitment and she'd gotten the earrings on a whim, after all.

To keep them, she'd have to make sure they stayed clean. She'd have to keep wearing at least the studs at all times for a day or two more to ensure her ears healed without closing the holes. After that, she could take them off while sleeping but she'd still have to wear them most of the time if, for no other reason, than to cover up the holes in her ears.

She thought about the pony who'd given them to her. He was the stallion, out of all the ones in town, that she'd thought was the 'most fun' when asked. She'd keep the earrings. She knew she could be responsible. Returning the earrings would make Pokey sad, and she wanted to see him smile.

The studs would be easier to sleep with but if she exchanged them now she'd break open her scabs and risk infection. Well, it was either that or risk getting the larger earrings caught on her blankets and break open her scabs that way. Pinkie was deliberately over thinking this to avoid the other topic.

She looked into the mirror again at her wild and puffy mane. It had a life of its own and she half expected to see it limp over and fall flat. She wasn't quite that sad – not yet anyway. 

“Pack up the party for its time is done.
Everypony's gone and they all had their fun.
The floor is no place for wrappers or cake.
Everypony's gone for it's gotten too late.
Pack up the party for its time is done.
The sky's getting dark. Say 'goodbye' to the sun.
Streamers and confetti, mar the good floor.
Every pony laughed so much she laughed herself sore.
Pack up the party for its time is done.
Sweep up this mess and let's not digress-
For you don't want more stress when the point's to have less.
And with the ponies gone, you'll sing this silly song-
And now it won't be long, so hold yourself strong.
Pack up the party for its time is done.
Take out the trash – Ta-Da! You've won!”

Heh, all Pinkie did was to... Well, it didn't matter exactly she'd done but it totally warranted that entire song. Heh. (Not really.)

Pinkie Pie looked at herself in the mirror and looked at herself again. That business of Twilight's about 'making ponies'- Well, yeah it sounds fun and Pinkie's not the type of pony to pass up fun but sometimes you have to compare current fun with future fun and fifteen minutes of oh heck yeah, that was a lot of fun verses eleven months of the terrifying thought of oh dear Celestia I'm actually going to have a baby just doesn't add up. Or it does – just not to a number that you'd ever want to associate yourself with, though.

It's not like Pinkie would never want a foal of her own, of course. It's just that she'd rather be ready for it with a special somepony to have it with. Then the thought wouldn't be scary, but heartwarming instead and she could totally see that happening eventually but...

She had to have a foal now.

There was a metallic taste in her mouth. Pinkie gasped and looked around. It was her Pinkie Sense. As best she knew, this meant that a powerful magic was about to take place. Argh, she had tinfoil hats stashed all around town but none in her room. It was too late.

The sky turned red.


***


Rainbow Dash returned to her house in the sky. She took the time to realign her rainbow fountains that had gotten disjointed from the spinning earlier. The sun would soon set and mark the end to this miserable and fruitless day.

That contest she'd thrown together was probably the worst idea she'd had since that time she'd tried to race a bunch of animals through Ghastly Gorge and wound up getting her wing pinned under an avalanche. And, like that race, she'd learned that there were plenty of factors more important than actual speed. It's a shame she had to come back alone this time, though.

Rainbow Dash went inside. She went to lay on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Pinkie... So that's what she does when she tries to flirt, huh? Well she really could stand to learn a lot from Rarity. Hmm, Rainbow Dash could stand to learn a lot from her too.

She rolled out of bed and went back outside to watch the sun go down. Well, she'd learned what she might want from a longer term relationship, but, ultimately that didn't help her. She was still on a tight deadline and needed to find a mate fast. Fast-

The sky turned red.


***


Applejack returned from the hospital in a gloomy mood. She'd run out of ideas that would actually work. The mirror pool was a bad idea but it would have worked. The thought of that place just made her fur stand on end. She'd never be able to use it. As far as artificial insemination goes, well, perhaps if she couldn't come up with any other plan she'd go through with it. She'd avoid that as long as she could though. Pegasus stock wasn't something she'd want to run in the Apple family.

Speaking of apples, she did have a lot of chores to do. Working on the farm would be a good distraction to get her mind off of things. Big Mac could use the help getting through the midsummer harvest. That would probably take the rest of the day and give Applejack time to think and come up with another plan.

Angel stopped her.

“Huh?” Applejack lowered her head to look at the rabbit that got in her way. That was Fluttershy's pet. What was he doing here?

Angel thumped his foot and waved a paw across his mouth.

“You know ai don't speak rabbit, right?” Applejack said. Angel shrugged and thumped his foot again. Applejack heard a rustling in trees and looked up to see Fluttershy jump between them. Well, that explained why Angel was here, but why didn't he want to let her to pass?

Once the rustle of the trees died down she could hear another noise. It sounded like Big Mac. It was almost like he was... talking. Big Mac was never a pony of many words so hearing him prattle on as if he liked the sound of his own voice was something that Applejack never expected. And there was Fluttershy in the trees again. The longer Applejack watched the more mystified she became.

Fluttershy was doing Applejack's chores and Big Mac was talking up a storm. The two of them seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves. Applejack's heart sank and her stomach tied itself in a knot. Not a good old square knot either – it was a filliy-scout cringing granny knot. She knew what Fluttershy was up to, and it seemed to be working.

Applejack wanted to race forward and break them apart, but...

She couldn't.

“Ai'm going to need lots of cider.” Applejack turned around and left (to the approval of Angel bunny). She went back to her house and uncorked a barrel. So Big Mac and Fluttershy huh? She took a drink. Right from the get-go, she'd had this horrible feeling that her brother would wind up getting involved somehow. There were only so many eligible stallions in town, ya know? It wasn't so much a matter of 'if', but 'who'. Fluttershy huh? She took another drink.

Applejack put her glass down and closed the tap. She'd best not drink too much since she wanted to be able to think straight. Unfortunately, she kept thinking about Fluttershy and Big Mac. If she did manage to seduce him, would her foal be part of the Apple family? That'd probably be up to the kid to decide unless Fluttershy and Big Mac married of course, in which case yes. Fluttershy and Big Mac married?

So much for trying to keep a clear head. Applejack opened the tap back up and kept drinking until she fell over.

“Oooh...” Applejack awoke with a headache. Her vision was full of spots and her ears were ringing. It was like some pony was trying to play a game of Pong in her head but her paddle was stuck and she kept losing over and over again. She struggled to get back up. Based on the mess on the floor and the awful stench she must have disgorged about as much as she'd drunk. Granny always did warn her about the dangers of aged cider. It was tempting to just hit the tap again. Skin of the apple and all that. But she had duties and she'd shirked them for too long as it was.

Applejack unsteadily went to get a mop. She could see the sun near the horizon. Its harsh light stung at her sensitive eyes and she felt her headache earn a new high score. She closed the blind and poured herself a glass of water and took two painkillers to go with it. Was it dawn or sunset? She didn't hear any roosters so it must be sunset. That meant she hadn't been passed out for very long (not that she'd wanted to pass out in the first place).

She seemed to be alone still. She wasn't so sure if that was good or bad. At least she'd have time to clean up before other ponies noticed. She was feeling a bit steadier already. She shook her head to clear the spots from her eyes and gathered up the bucket and mop and dragged them to the mess. No sooner then she'd gotten started she heard the door slam. Well, so much for that thing about other ponies not noticin'.

“Urrgh, ai can't believe the nerve of some ponies.” That sounded like Big Mac storming in. Wha- was he done already? His steps were getting louder. Darn. He was coming this way. “Applejack.” Big Mack paused in the doorway as he looked around at the cider barrel and the mess on the floor. “Ai'm very disappointed in you.”

“Ai know how dis looks, but ai did it for you... So's you and Shy could be aw-one togetters.” Applejack was shocked at how her words slurred. She hadn't expected to talk like that. 

“You planned this too? Where's Apple Bloom? You both have a lot to answer for.” Big Mac swung his head around looking for the little filly.

“Wha? So did you do her or not?” Applejack ignored his rage.

“Ai rejected her as soon as she asked for a relationship. Ai definitely didn't go that far.” Big Mac narrowed his eyes and huffed. Hopefully that was just the cider talking. His sister wouldn't want him to go that far, would she?

“You rejected Shy? Ya big meannie. How could you? She needz your body.” Applejack's eyes teared up. There wasn't much difference really, since they were already bloodshot.

“What did Apple Bloom say to get you to go along with this?” 

“Oh noe B-Mac. It twern't Bloom. She's nothin' to do wit dis.” Applejack sprawled out in front of Big Mac and looked up into his eyes.

“Huh?” Big Mac backed up a bit and looked down at her with open eyes.

“It's Twilight. She says we all gotta get preggers right away.” Applejack lifted a foreleg and patted her flank. “Eeyup.”

“Ee-What?” Big Mac's shock replaced his anger. He took a closer look at his sister. She had bags under her eyes, hung her head down, and wore the biggest frown he'd ever seen. She was the sorriest looking sad thing of all the sad things he'd seen. And she smelled too.

“Oh yesh, She got one of dem letters she always getz, but dis one sayz the future be in peril. If we don't all have foals by next year den da woorld is dooomed. Hic. Ooomed. Oo-ooOoo-ooo-oomed.” Applejack rocked her head back and forth while making the 'oo' noises. She shook herself, got up, and walked up to press her face against Big Mac's. Her breath was horrible. “So's you best get back out dere and find Fla... Flotter... Flootershy an-”

Applejack's speech trailed off as she looked into his eyes. 

The sky turned red.


***


Fluttershy sobbed in the sanctity of her cottage. She'd been flatly rejected. It hurt so much. Where did she go wrong? Why? Why?

When she could manage to open her eyes, her pupils rolled upwards to avoid drowning in the sea of tears that was trying to overtake them. Not even her animals could get close. The birds were forced away by the fountains of tears squirting from her eyes and the growing puddle around her served as a protective moat. She was completely alone on her island of utter misery.

She was so alone in her sorrow that she ceded from Equestria entirely and formed her own nation: Cry-estria. She was the only inhabitant, the only tree, and she watered herself in a self-sustaining cycle. 

Big Mac.

He was the tragedy of an entire nation. He was the heartbreak of all its people. Why did he have to be so mean to her? Why did he have to say 'no'? She... She sobbed. She chocked. She... she was beginning to choke back her tears. Soon, she would have to deal with illegal immigration. But the thought of him, leaning down upon her, and spiting in her face, her hopes, her dreams... It was enough to provoke a flood. The refugees were driven back.

To make matters even worse, Big Mac was not wrong to send her off. She didn't love him either.

The sky turned red.


***



Nightfall



***


Twilight looked at herself in the mirror.

Pinkie Pie wished for a tinfoil hat.

Rainbow Dash stared at the sky.

Applejack looked into Big Mac's eyes.

Rarity flooded the world with her passion.

Fluttershy ceded from Equestria to form Cryestria: population: her.

The sky turned red.


***


Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were still finishing up the statue when the sun set and the sky turned red. They stopped briefly to admire it, then shrugged and got back to work. The Princess of Sisters was almost done, and they could soon go to bed.


***


The sky turned red.

Twilight looked into her own reflection and was overcome with the most intense feeling of desire that she'd ever felt. Her wings sprung wide open. She recoiled and dove under her bed. “Oh no. Oh-no, oh-no, oh-no. I really did cast the 'Want it-Need it' spell on myself. I can't go out now.”

Twilight huddled under her bed. She had visions of all the townsponies fighting over her and trying to carry her off as their prize. She'd run, but she wouldn't be able to evade them forever. There would just be too many. She'd have to stay out of sight until the spell wore off. It was an awful feeling. She hoped no pony would come looking for her. To make matters worse, her burning passion would not go away.


***


Spike felt guilty about not coming home earlier. He'd gotten so caught up in helping with the statue that he'd forgotten about the letter he was supposed to deliver. There were an unusually large number of ponies out and about after dark but they didn't bother Spike and he returned to the library without incident. To cover for himself, he was making up some excuse about a wild bucket-beast.

He paused in the doorway to stare at the bookshelves with wide eyes. His mouth hung open. All of the books were arranged by color, of all things. He looked around expecting Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie to jump out and laugh at him, but they didn't. If they'd set this up as a prank, they must have gotten bored waiting for him and went home. Still, it was going to take him forever to reorganize things. He took a few more steps and noticed some fuzzy patches on the floor. They were little spots of lavender fur. Spike touched one. It was sticky. That was even more perplexing than the books. Just what had gone on in here that he couldn't be privy to?

Spike walked upstairs and open-

“Ack! No, you can't come in.” The door slammed shut with powerful magic. Spike was knocked backwards but managed to right himself before he fell down the stairs. He really didn't want to do that again today. 

“Hey, what gives? Twilight, are you okay?” He tried to push the door open but it was firmly shut.

“I'm fine. Go away.” It didn't sound like she was fine at all.

“Uh, Twilight. I got another letter from the princess that you should see.” Spike kept pushing at the door. “If you just let me in I'll-”

“Spike. You can't come in. Just slide it under the door.” Spike sighed and did as she asked. “What? Reservations? That's what she meant when she said we should get started right away? It really was an art project all along.” The tone of her voice changed dramatically. It went from shock to... relief.

“What else would it be?” Spike gave up pushing and just leaned against the door.

“That's not important. When did you get this?”

“Around mid afternoon,” Spike replied. 'Doh – he could have just lied about the time. Too late now.

“How could you wait so long to bring this to me? Don't you know that letters from the Princess are important?”

“Uh, well, you see, there was this wild bucketbeast. It uh, was rampaging through town and I, uh, had to fight it off, yeah. I totally defeated that bucketbeast and saved the town from, uh, whatever it is that bucketbeasts do, yeah.” 

“Well, okay then.”

“What? Really?” Spike hadn't expected that to actually work. “Should we tell your friends about this letter too?”

“What? Them? They didn't even give the project a second thought. They either ran away or shut themselves up to wallow in misery all day. I was the only one who actually got out and tried to do anything.”

“Why did they do that? If you didn't think it was an art project than what did you think it was?”

“Nevermind that. Spike, you don't know just how relieved I am that this whole thing is over with.”

“I don't know because you won't tell me.” Spike kicked the door. “And why won't you open the door?”

“Oh, that. Eh-heh. Well I sorta-accidentally cast the 'Want it-Need it' spell on myself and I don't want you falling under its influence before it has a chance to wear off.”

“What? Why did you do that? You know how dangerous that spell is.”

“Well, you see, there was this wild bucketbeast and-”

“Twilight, that was a lame excuse when I used it.”

“Spike!”

“Uh, I mean...”

“Just go to bed spike.”

“My bed's in there!” He kicked the door again. In response, his basket appeared next to him. He missed catching it and watched in horror as it bounced down the stairs spilling covers and pillows as it went. He sighed and walked down to put it back together again. He didn't get that far though, and conked out as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs.


***


The sky turned red.

Pinkie felt the magic wash over her. It dove into her pores and seeped into her core. She'd already felt the heat but this cranked the knob to max and broke it right off. She wanted to love, physically love, more than she ever had ever before ever. It was just maddening. She had to find a pony to take her, she just had to.

She wasn't the only one.

Every mare came out of her home. Every mare wandered the streets. Every mare felt the same way. Every mare was looking for a mate. Every mare... and not a single stallion. It was excruciating.

“What's going on?”
“Why do I feel so turned on?”
“Where are all the guys?”
“I need a somepony right now!”
“This is hardly proper.”
“Oooh, It's like that pineapple incident all over again.”
“We can't just stand here. We have to find the guys!”
“Yeah!”
“But... how?”
“Guys, guys, where are you?”
“We need you.”
“Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

As much as she really, really, really wanted to get some action, Pinkie couldn't just abandon the townsponies as they suffered. Though passion ate at her mind, Pinkie decided to take charge. She lept down from her balcony and hopped atop the pony statue in the square. She stood on its head like she was some kind of giant Pinkie hat. “Listen up! No pony can hide from the Pinkie. Band together my sisters. Band together my friends. Join up my mares, and let us all act together. We will root the males to rule them all. We will root out the males to find them. We will root the males to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. Let no pony go unhappy. Let no pony go unsatisfied. We will root them out and we will make them smile.”

Pinkie's rambling speech made more noise than actual sense, but it did get their attention.

“So what are you waiting for? Go root them out!” Sprinkle Medley said.

Pinkie's picturesque memory produced plots of ponies. She knew where they lived. She knew their faces. She knew their flanks. And now-

“Pinkie. Stop standing there. Do something already!” Sprinkle Medley flew up and crossed her forelegs at Pinkie. She scrunched her face up in a terrible frown.

“Uh, okay. Well first of all, Comet Tail lives in that house” -Pinkie pointed to the one across from Sugarcube Corner- “and Cherry Fizzy and Lucky Clover live in that house.” -she pointed to the house next to it- “and-”

“Pinkie. We know where they live too,” Sprinkle Medley said.

“Yeah, but we can't just barge in on them. I mean, I know we want to and all but that would be exceptionally rude and inconsiderate,” Banana Fluff said.

“So yeah, you'll have to get them to come out, or at least get them to invite us in,” S02E05 Unnamed Unicorn Mare #1 looked up at Pinkie and pleaded.

“Hmm, just a sec.” Pinkie Pie motioned for the ponies to calm down while she went to work.

Comet Tail hid under his bed. He shook and his teeth chattered and... he stared into a large pair of eyes looming over him. “AAAAA!” He scrambled out as fast as he could. 

Pinkie Pie stuck her head out from under the bed to talk to him. “Hey, Comet. Do you want to come outside and have some fun?”

“No! Pinkie, don't do that!” Comet Tail backed off quickly and bumped into his dresser. The top drawer slid out, but the unicorn caught it with his magic before it could fall.

“Why won't you come out?” Pinkie asked. “I'm sure we'd have a great time.”

“I don't know, I just feel... Hey! I thought I told you to GET OUT!” He tossed the drawer at Pinkie and she had to pull her head up from under the bed.

The townsponies standing outside tried to watch Pinkie but found that their eyes hurt when they looked at her. They had to squint or avert their gaze. Those that managed to keep their eyes open had them mist with tears and their eyelids twitched irrationally. Pinkie came into focus briefly. “Odd...” she muttered before... whatever she was doing again.

Cherry Fizzy was in the closet. He was shook and sweat dripped from his coat. On the wall, there was a picture of ponies. Pinkie was in the portrait. “Hey Cherry,” she said, “do you want to pop out for some fresh air?” 

“Pinkie! Oh for Celestia's sake, you scared me. Don't do that.” He got a better look at her bright and cheerful face. She looked at him with hunger in her eyes and her mouth hung open to drip with drool. “You're still scaring me. You're still scaring me.”

“Don't you want to come out of the closet?” She inhaled deeply through her nose, to absorb his aroma.

“NO!”

Pinkie Pie left the portrait and stuck her hoof out of the faucet in the kitchen sink. She reached up and turned the tap on and flowed all the way out. After overflowing the sink, and oozing down to the floor, Pinkie Pie popped into shape and opened the cabinet under the sink.

“Aaaah!” Lucky Clover darted out of his hiding place and ran upstairs. Pinkie Pie hopped after him. He ran into his room and slammed the door. He locked it tight with deadbolts and chains. Once he finished, he wiped the sweat off his brow and turned around. Pinkie was already there. She licked his nose.

“Ack! Pinkie!” He forcefully pushed her away and knocked her out the window. He breathed a small sigh of relief. “Whew.”

The lamp next to him turned itself on: revealing itself to be Pinkie. She licked his ear.

“Pinkie!” Lucky Clover recoiled and desperately tried to undo the locks on the door. He realized the futility of it when Pinkie closed in with her tongue out and he was forced to back away from the door to avoid her. “What do you want, Pinkie?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“Well duh, world peace.” She outlined a circle with her hoof and placed her other foreleg against her chin in thought. “Well that was easy. How about to celebrate we get outside and have some fun?”

“No! I can't go out now. Not like this.”

“What? Why not? We're really, really eager for you to join us out there.”

“Because... reasons.” He covered his face hoping she'd go away.

“Well, hehe, if you won't come outside how about you go back downstairs and hide in the closet? Cherry's there and you two can mwa-mmwa-”

The kissing noises pushed Clover over the edge. “Aaah!” he screamed in revulsion and bucked Pinkie straight through the wall. From his point of view looking through the hole, Pinkie seemed to hang in the air, almost as if she were standing on the statue in the town square. And she was – because that's where she'd really been all along. Then she fell off, because she'd been kicked.

The mares in the square heard Pinkie fall, but they were reluctant to open their eyes again after the pain she'd put them through.

“Is it safe to look yet?”
“I think she's done.”
“That was almost as painful to watch as that time Sweetie Belle helped me bake muffins.”
“I remember that. I was seeing straight for weeks!”
“Pinkie, did you see any stallions? Did you get any to come out?”

“Oooh.” Pinkie balled up and clutched at her terribly sore ribs. The townsponies gathered around her in a tight circle.

“Pinkie, come on. We're counting on you.” Amethyst Star shook the pink pony.

“I'm all right. I'm all right.” Pinkie wobbled upright and stood unsteadily on her hooves. Her eyes wobbled around independently and she shook her head to straighten them out. “I think.”

“So what's going on?” Amethyst Star asked.

“Can you get them to come to us?” Sprinkle Medley flew around in tight circles above her.

“They're inexplicably terrified. It's even stranger than our sudden passion,” Pinkie Pie said.

“So, is that a no?” S02E05 Unnamed Unicorn Mare #1 scrunched up her face and frowned.

“Well, it's just that, by this point Twilight would normally come by with a letter from the Princess and we'd go off on an adventure to fix everything.”

The tumbleweed got blown out of town by the frustrated snorts of the town's mares.

“Grrrr. Pinkie I can't wait any longer. I'm half a mind to just forget what I said earlier and start breaking down doors.”
“Yeah.”
“Good idea.”
“We might as well – it won't be the first time this place has been destroyed.”
“Hey! I live here.”
“So do the rest of us.”
“Well I'd rather bust doors than keep talking.”
"I agree. Let's do that thing. Where we bust doors. And don't talk about it. You hear what I'm saying?"

“No! Don't do that. I've got a plan. I can still get them to come out. I don't think the guys will trust me, though... uh, Sweetie Drops? You're good at voice acting right? Can you do Twilight Sparkle?”

“Ahem, 'Dear Princess Celestia: Books! I love books. I think I've discovered a new magic: the magic of bookship!'” Sweetie Drops said with Twilight's voice. Pinkie couldn't help but giggle at Sweetie Drops' portrayal of Twilight.

“All right Everypony, here's what we do...” Pinkie didn't take long explaining her plan and they all got into position. Sea Swirl's illusion of Twilight wasn't all that great, but it only had to be convincing from a distance. They probably could have done better with a painting but this should work too.

“Listen up everypony!” Sweetie Drops called out while mimicking Twilight. “You're all suffering from a strange magic, but I've found a way to break the spell. But to make my counterspell work, you'll all have to come to the town square.” There was silence as no pony stirred, but Pinkie had prepared for this. “Now now, don't be shy. The effects of the spell only get stronger and harder to break over time. That's why I need you all to come out as soon as possible.”

A few doors opened and some heads peeked out. The mares kept themselves well hidden in the bushes and trees so as not to be seen. It was hard for them to stay still, but it wouldn't be long before they could act.

The stallions started to come out of hiding, sort of. They were all wearing makeshift disguises. Moving boxes, bedsheets, multiple layers of clothing, bags, pretty much anything that could cover a pony was being used. One was even rolling along in a giant jar. They came out very slowly and tried their best to stay as far away from each other as they could manage. A step that took them towards another stallion was not a step they wanted to take – at all.

“Wait, that's not Twilight!” Coconut yelled.

“NOW!” Pinkie gave the signal and all the mares lept out of hiding. “Shut the doors, lock them, trap them outside!” Working together, the mares tried to block the exits. The stallions realized they'd been had, and dropped their disguises to make a break for it. “Quick, don't let them get away!” The mares were only too happy to give chase. 

Seeing the sudden the sudden chaos envelop the town, Pinkie clambered on top of the statue's head again. She had a hard time with it since her sides hurt so much. “GO FORTH AND DESTROY, MY ARMY OF MARES!” They didn't particularly care what she said at this point. They were too busy chasing some tail.

Yelling like that stressed Pinkie's sore ribs and she clenched at her side and fell off the statue again. No pony came to assist her, but a stallion did run by. Pinkie's passion flared up, renewed. She suppressed her pain and limped after him. “Wait. Save one for me,” she begged.


***


The sky turned red.

Rainbow Dash was gripped by intense longing. She flew out of her house panting and sweating. Yes, fast – she needed to find a mate fast. But – she still didn't want to pick just any pony. She still wanted the best.

In Ponyville, she knew most of the pegasus already. That was her problem. It'd be easier to pick somepony based on speed if he was a stranger. She'd go to Cloudsdale and try her luck there, but she didn't have time to set up another race. How would she know who was the fastest? Well, Rainbow Dash licked her lips, he'd be the pony it took her the longest to catch, of course.

Normally the trip to Cloudsdale would be exhausting and take hours without a vehicle, but her wings were fueled with such passion that she made it there effortlessly and in no time at all. Up in Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash could clearly she that she had a lot of competition. Flocks of pegasus had formed up and they were combing the city. They were all mares. 

“Hey-” Rainbow Dash flew up alongside a group and asked Dizzy Twister, “-what's going on? Where are all the stallions?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. They all suddenly vanished when the sky went red,” Dizzy Twister said. “Friggin' Sky Gazer. Way to skip out on a date like that,” she added, under her breath.

“Well, they couldn't have gone far.” Rainbow Dash watched as the pegasus buzzed around above the city. “Say, has any pony tried looking inside?”

“No pony answered when we knocked on the doors and all the windows are closed,” Raindrops replied.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. They're obviously all hiding indoors.” Rainbow Dash flew ahead of them and got in their way. They had to stop and hover.

“So what do you expect us to do about it?” Dizzy Twister asked.

“It's simple. These walls are made out of lumber cumulus and stratostone clouds. They're no match for a persistent weather pony.” To demonstrate, Rainbow Dash gave the wall a swift kick. Paff. The other pegasus' shock over the random property damage was quickly replaced with desire when the mist cleared and a terrified stallion was revealed.

“Aaaah!” The stallion screamed at having his hiding place revealed and tried to fly away. The mares gave chase, but Rainbow Dash quickly shot past them and caught him.

“Hey!”
“Watch it,”
“Aww, I wanted that one,” 
the mares complained.

“Let go!” The stallion struggled in her grasp, but Rainbow dash kept a tight grip. She'd done it. She'd really done it. This stallion was hers to keep. She'd take him back to her house and... hehehe. It was a lot easier than she'd expected too. Wait, it was too easy. She'd caught him in less than three seconds.

“Too slow.” Rainbow Dash turned her head away in disgust and dropped him for the other mares to catch.

“Whew,” he said.

“Mine.”
“Mine.”
“Mine.”
The other mares dove after him.

“Aaaah!” he screamed and flew off again.

Sounds of kicking filled the air. Rainbow dash looked around. Her eyes bulged wide when she saw that other ponies had followed her example and started breaking down walls. They were destroying Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash cringed, but every stallion they flushed out sent her heart racing. Well, if this is what it took for her to find that special somepony, then so be it.


***


The sky turned red.

While looking into Big Mac's eyes Applejack suddenly felt an unbearable passion well up within her. She thought she wanted him. She wanted him bad.

Applejack batted her eyes and smiled. “Well, you can forget all about that Flooter cause ai'm right here an-”

“eeYaaaa!” Big Mac screamed and ran out of the house. 

Eeyup. Big Mac sure had the right idea. Applejack sure had no idea where that had come from. Intense feelings? For her brother? It was clear; this project had driven her completely insane. She was going to need something a lot stronger than cider. She rooted through the cabinet in search of old bottle.

Cider was the Apple family's most popular product and Zap Apple jam was their most profitable one. So of course, they'd tried to combine the two. Zapple cider was not something they could, in good conscience, ever sell though. It wasn't a failure per say, but it was so potent that it caused ponies to act bonkers after drinking it. It was called the 'drink of regrets' for good reason. One sip, and you'd lose all your inhibitions. You'd spill out your innermost secrets and do things you'd never even consider before. The drink wouldn't let you forget either. Everything you did, you'd remember clearly for the rest of your life. Attempts to water it down never worked since the two liquids wouldn't mix. It did taste great though.

Applejack puled the flask out of its hiding place. 

This was a bad idea. This was a very bad idea. This was the baddest idea of bad ideas.

“To bad ideas.” Applejack held the flask out and took a swig. Euphoria. Divinity. It was the most incredible thing she'd ever tasted. It was also the most rotten thing she'd ever tasted. Perhaps she shouldn't be drinking stuff that was twenty years old.

Applejack felt lightheaded and tingly, her headache had completely gone away. She still burned with passion though. Her legs moved all on their own. No, that wasn't quite correct. They were still following her thoughts, but her thoughts went straight to her body and didn't bother going trough that pesky brain of hers first. She giggled gleefully and watched to see where her legs would take her.


***


Rarity reveled in her crystalline form. She couldn't help but admire herself on the first reflective surface she came across. She was just as brilliant as she'd always wished herself to be. Too bad the effect was temporary. While her time to admire herself was limited, she had another goal in mind.

Behind her, was a crystal stallion. When that powerful magic drew her into the heart of the empire, she could plainly see the souls of its inhabitants. She'd seen how they felt. They'd only just come out of a stasis spell. Love, joy, and hope had real power here, and those emotions were sluggish coming back. While the defeat of Sombra had done much to lift their spirits, they still had a ways to go. They used what joys they had to spread harmony across Equestria and to keep the lingering darkness locked deep within the Crystal Heart.

Rarity changed all of that. She excised the darkness for good, and reversed the flow. Now instead of having love drawn from them, love was being given back. It was her love, her gift, and it would last as long as her magic allowed for.

The crystal ponies came outside and pressed the sides of their faces against the glowing, red streets. They were reveling in the sensation.

“Aaaaah!” The pegasus guards suddenly abandoned their posts and flew off. The moonlight sparked through their wings as they disappeared into the sky.

“What vile sorcery is this?” A crystalline unicorn ran out of the palace. “I'm never coming back here. Never again!” He ran off as quickly as his legs would take him. That must have been the delegate from Unicornicopia.

Strange...

His behavior notwithstanding, that unicorn had looked really hot – but what Rarity wanted was a real crystal pony: such as the one behind her.

“Ardent. My you're looking quite the radiant jade tonight.” Rarity leaned up against him. Her head was below his in a submissive pose. She batted her eyes at him. “I just love how you're handled those tiny huewes. What say we go back to your place and 'expand the farm'.” She winked.

“That's a generous offer, my lady. But... I don't feel up to it. As a matter of fact I feel... I think I need to go now.” Ardent excused himself and left.

The novelty of being fueled with love was starting to wear off and the actual feeling it instilled was taking over. Rarity watched as the same scene was played out all around her. The mares would approach the stallions, and the stallions would get nervous and depart.

Had she messed up the spell somehow? It was a possibility. She didn't have much experience with powerful magic, after all. She'd seen it done, but it was never under her control before. She knew enough to set a reasonable age limit, but stallions were too foreign for her to get right it seems. No matter, she'd just have to try a bit harder. Rarity's passion for them wouldn't allow her to give up.

Rarity intercepted another stallion. “Crystal Arrow. Did you know that jousting is new to the Equestrian games this year? It was added in honor of the Crystal Empire, though I hear it's Luna's favorite sport too.” Rarity walked alongside him. She was close enough to touch him but left enough room so he wouldn't be nervous. 

“Really? I couldn't imagine a sporting event without jousting.” Crystal Arrow eyed a doorway, but stayed out to chat.

“Oh yes. And let me tell you, we had no idea what we were missing. The excitement and the adrenaline; all packed up into a single climactic moment. Why, I could talk all night about competitors and the favorites to win this year. Shall I accompany you inside so we can chat over tea?”

“I... I'm glad to hear there's another pony so passionate about the sport but I must retire alone tonight. Thank you for the offer, anyway.” He went inside and shut the door, leaving her alone in the street.

Rarity kept a smile on her face, but as soon as he went inside she scowled. That should have worked. It really should. Or... at least gotten her further than it did. Whatever was troubling the stallions was surpassing her charms. Her spelltacular misfire was more of an obstacle than she realized.

There had to be some way to get through to them still. Rarity walked in the streets. Groups of mares gathered up and knocked on doors. The responses they got were polite refusals. Rarity didn't know how they could take such repeated rejections. Her passions were threatening to overwhelm her into irrational thinking. She knew they felt the same way. Still, she hoped they could remain civil. The Crystal Empire was far too beautiful to be destroyed by its own citizens.

Rarity spotted another stallion still out in the open. She did not approach him. She could think of nothing that would not end the same way. Another group of mares did though, and he retreated politely inside, as expected. She tried to think hard, but it was difficult through her growing haze of lust.

She kept walking until she came across a track and field. She heard voices. Three stallions were talking to each other on the sidelines. They weren't close to each other, but still close enough so as not to shout. Rarity glanced around. No other mares had seen them yet. This would be her best chance yet, but – what could she do?

Perhaps she could form a counterspell to block the magic that was troubling them? She had no idea where to even begin with something like that. Even if she did, her personal magic would be too weak to effect it anyway. She'd no idea where that powerful surge of magic had even come from in the first place; let alone be able to summon that much at will. If that's what it was like to be Twilight, then no wonder her friend was so compulsive all the time. Having power like that at one's beck and call could drive a sane mare batty.

Rarity looked down and spotted an empty bucket. Speaking of Twilight, something she'd said when they first met up in the library gave Rarity an idea. It was hardly lady-like, but it was the best she could come up with and it had the best chance of working.

The bucket went sailing through the air and a pungent, yellow liquid splashed over them. A bit of magic ensured that they would all be hit.

“Hey!”
“Eww, yuck.”
“What the heck was that for?”

“Oh sorry, how clumsy of me.” Rarity had their attention now. All she had to do was stay in sight and wait. They reached for their towels. She made sure the towels stayed out of reach. Her magic looked a bit more prismatic than normal, coming through her crystalline horn.

“What's the big ideaa-aa-uh...”

Rarity was giddy with excitement. She could see the change taking place. Her plan was working. It wouldn't be long now...

“Do you like what you see?” she asked.

“Yes.”
“Very much.”
“I want.”

They came towards her. She could hardly wait. In a moment, they'd take her. Right here. Out in the open.

That small part of her that was still rational was screaming for attention. It finally won out and clarity washed over her like ice-water. “What have I done?” she asked herself. A chill exploded from her withers. The stallions were coming for her and she... gulped. She wanted to talk to them, to tell them that this was all a misunderstanding, but their sanity had been suppressed. No amount of begging or pleading would get them to stop. They were acting purely on instinct now.

She ran.

They pursued.


***


The sky turned red.

Fluttershy's feelings changed. Her broken heart beat with fury. Where she'd felt only sorrow, now she felt only lust. The Cryestrian rainforest slashed and burned. Her land was enveloped in drought. The heat of her passion charred the soil. The Cryestrian Empire vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

Big Mac... She would hunt him down... and make him hers... in verse.

Flutter left her humble home to seek her Big Mac darling.
Her wings of boner fully showed, her thoughts were quite naughty.
She hopped and flew and raced along with her passion boiling.
Dates and kisses were not for her – nothing quite so haughty.

Big Mac ran screaming from the farm, his sister was insane.
The sky went red and he felt it too and he freaked his freak-freak out.
Big Mac ran to an open field and the wind blew at his mane.
Those feelings were not natural and his good sense gone in drought.

Flutter saw him in her stare, and she flew up to his mane.
“I want you and I need you. I want you, I need you, now.”
Big Mac stopped and turned around and he ran off all the same.
“I don't want you nor your rabbit too. Go away you cow.”

Alone, alone, all all alone;
alone on a wide wide plain.

Flutter snapped her anger shone. 'Twas bright as the noon day sun.
“Big Mac, you beast. Come back, you hear. My heart's all aflutter.
Stop your retreat and wait for me. Now don't you make me run.
The world will shake with our love – you've gone and made me sputter.”

His hooves were deaf. His tail was too. His back was receding.
This path he took would go to town, where shelter he could find.
Big Mac had had enough of her. His trail was unyielding.
His fear was great. He strode on hard. He had a path to grind.

The townsponies were crazy too and circled in on him.
“We like, we like, so very much. Your plot shall fill our holes.”
Flutter's flank came in behind him. His chances were quite slim.
“Get lost you mares, this one is mine. Big Mac will fill my goals.”

Trapped trapped trapped - ponies all around;
Big Mac in a small small town.

The sky was red with radiant hues and fueled her desire.
The buildings were locked and shut fast no safety to find here.
She wanted nothing more than her need for him to sire.
Trapped like a kitty cat. He arched his back and spat in fear.

She dove in now to claim her prize. Her hooves found no meat.
Big Mac was agile and quick too. He dodged and slipped away.
Dust expanded in her wake. She had missed her tasty treat.
“You can't have me. You can't grab me.” Big Mac left her astray.

Flutter sputtered. Flutter sputtered. She took a great big breath.
“YOU WILL WANT ME, YOU WILL LOVE ME,” in royal shout-y voice.
His fleeing did quite break her heart. And she did die her death.
No! She could still catch him. Catch him, and he would have no choice.

Heartbeat, heartbeat, beat beat heart;
Passion burned quite like a dart.

Big Mac ran and fled back to the farm. He could lose her still.
His legs they pumped and sent up dust to wall her winged form.
From tree to tree she jumped and flew. She kept up to her thrill.
Her target was not far from her. She'd take him down by storm.

The apple trees had borne their fruit, but there was more to come.
The Apple family would be next if Flutter had her way.
Though just a simple tree it bowed, this was quite tiresome.
The limb did break upon her weight. Big Mac was forced to stay.

“You must. You must. Love me now. I'm all I have to offer.”
Flutter's eyes were beads of sand. Her wings did quake with passion.
“Nope, nope, no. Your body sucks.” He did not want to top her.
Sweat dripped from his body's coat. His eyes saw her a thrashin'.

Big Mac, Big Mac. Flutter, Flutter.
So so close, yet far far away.

She huffed and puffed and screamed with rage. Her hooves tore through the ground.
Big Mac had no choice but run. She closed in and bit his tail.
He screamed. She beamed. “I've got you now.” He kicked her off quite sound.
He got back up and ran some more. Big Mac could hear her wail.

His kick did send her flying high but she was from the sky.
She twisted, flapped, and spun upright though she was quite quite sore.
Was there a way to get away? Big Mac sure had to try.
He had to gallop to their barn and to their cellar store.

Flutter came and she flew in fast. She was bruised – not beaten.
The cellar door was in sight. He'd put an end to this night.
She pushed hard. Her love quite burned. She loved that bastard cretin.
He ran. He ran. He made it in and shut that door quite tight.

She stopped flyin'. She stopped flyin'.
“Open this door stat!”
He stopped runnin'. He stopped runnin'.
“N” “O” “Puu,” he spat.

And that, was the end, of that.


***


At midnight, the moon reached its apex and the Crystal Heart snapped back into its normal position. The crimson hues that had taken over the night sky faded down to the normal narrow band. Blue and yellow lights returned to dance along with them. Fulfilled or not, the strongest desires that pony kind had ever felt receded and faded back to normal. There was nothing left for the ponies in Equestria to do except clean up the mess – and to file complaints.

“ 'Go forth and destroy my army of mares?' ” Lemon Drops asked, quoting Pinkie.

“I guess I got a bit carried away. He-he.” Pinkie's breath was shallow and erratic. “I should probably see a doctor,” she groaned.


Next Chapter:
Paperwork Morning