Discord stood in the kitchen table, preparing a special meal for Fluttershy. "Let's see..." he said as he began preparing the meal. "Seventeen varieties of ice cream, one scoop each...check. 6 ounces of whipped cream...check. 5 pickles...check. 3 vegetable sausages, made from 7 kinds of grain ground with a special spice mix and cooked in an onion skin...check. Hot fudge sauce...check. Caramel sauce...check. Maple Syrup...check. Hot sauce...check. Tobasco...check. Strawberries...check. Peaches...check. Cherries...check. Artificially produced cherry substitutes with that weird name I can never remember...check. Jalapenos...check. Graham cracker crumble...check. And for the finishing touch...rainbow colored sparklers." He smiled as he finished the delicate construction that stretched upward and outward from the bottom. "Well, I think that should meet Fluttershy's cravings today. A rather odd but specific request, the most chaotic dish I can make without my powers." Carefully he picked up the bowl and began to carry it up the stairs.
It had been six months since he had placed their child within Fluttershy's womb, a much more deliberate act in his case than it would have been for a pony stallion, or a magically enhanced mare for that matter. She had not been happy about learning she would be pregnant for 2 years, especially when they had discovered that the usual pregnancy symptoms - such as food cravings and morning sickness - would progress at the normal rate and be influenced by the child's chaos energy. Admittedly, she hadn't banished him from her bed at nights yet, but he completely understood why she had completely banned any night time activities...except for a few occasions where she had pounced him without warning when he was sound asleep. Admittedly, it was quite the invigorating way to wake up.
He stepped into their room. He paused at the door, though, as he realized with a smile the change in how they had both come to think of the place. "Fluttershy, I brought you your special request food." He smiled, gazing over her ravishing beauty, untainted by her blooming physique demonstrating the life growing inside her, though somewhat marred by the expression of abject despair on her face. "Fluttershy, what's wrong?"
She turned to him, and her expression contorted into one of unadulterated fury. "YOU!" she snarled, lunging for him, pinning him to the floor, barely giving him time to warp the meal to the bedside table so it didn't splatter all over them both. "You did this to me!" she hissed. "You distorted my body, wrecked my mind, turned me into this! It's all your fault! I hate you!"
Discord's eyes widened, shocked at both her fury and her words. "F-Fluttershy?"
She smiled widely, a bit of madness in her eyes. "I'm going to gut you, Discord," she hissed, pulling an incredibly sharp knife out of nowhere and trailing it along his stomach without breaking the skin. "I'm going to paint the town red with your blood, make a throne from your skin, and wear your guts for garters and your rib cage for a hat!"
Discord stared at her wide eyed, two thoughts warring within him. The first was, And THIS qualifies as harmonious behavior? The second was, Is it wrong that I'm getting seriously turned on by this?
Fluttershy's heated expression suddenly shifted away from rage to...something else. "But first," she said in a throaty whisper that sent shivers down his spine, "you are going to rut me silly, rocking my world and making me scream in passion and ecstasy until I'm hoarse!"
Discord managed to smile, extending his arms to wrap her in a tight embrace and do as she asked.
She suddenly threw him across the room. "But that's all you care about!" she wailed, her expression once more tragic. "You just want to rut me! You don't love me anymore!" Curling up on the bed, she began to wail in despair.
Discord blinked a few times before briefly stepping out of the narrative. "And I thought I was chaotic," he said to you before stepping back in. He floated over to Fluttershy, hugging her tight. "Fluttershy, it was your friendship that saved me from loneliness and madness. It was your love that made me whole once more, healing old wounds deep within my heart. I will never stop loving you, and that you chose to do this - to make a family with me - is the greatest gift I could ever hope to receive." He gently tightened the hug, wrapping himself sinuously around her entire body. "Please, don't ever doubt my love, beloved. It will never fade."
Fluttershy sniffled a little. "I must look incredibly silly right now," she mumbled.
Discord shook his head. "Not at all, beloved. Mood swings are perfectly natural."
Fluttershy managed a smile. "Thank you, Discord." She let out a small burp. "Excuse me."
Discord blinked. "Wait, but-" He turned and saw the empty bowl on the dresser, looking like it had been licked clean, the sparklers sitting in the bowl organized by color. "But when- How- Wha?" He turned as Fluttershy let out a small giggle. He smirked. "You chaotic little vixen, you!" he said happily, nuzzling her.
"May I have another, please?" she asked, giving him puppy eyes.
Discord chuckled. "Well, if I'm to make it chaotic, it can't be a repeat."
"I know."
He smiled softly. "Be right back, then." Picking up the bowl, he headed back downstairs. After washing it, he placed it on the counter. "Now, let's see what I should make her next..." He paused as he heard a knock on the front door. Smiling, he opened it. "Can I help you-"
The large yellow Pegasus at the door clocked him with a solid right hook, knocking him backwards into the cottage, slamming into the couch. "Where's my daughter, you monster?!" the Pegasus demanded, tackling him.
Discord blinked, managing to smile up at his assailant. "You must be Fluttershy's father, Quickhoof," he said, extending a hand in greeting to the stallion. "Fluttershy's told me so much about-" His statement was cut off by a hoof to the face, leaving his face dented before he pulled it back into shape. "Now that wasn't very poli-" A left hook caused his head to go spinning around. "Would you let me get a-"
As Quickhoof reared back to deliver another punch, a chair smacked him in the face, knocking him backward. He landed on his back, blinking. "F-Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy stood over Discord, glowering at her father. "MINE!" she hissed. "Nopony gets to beat Discord to a pulp but me!"
Discord coughed nervously, hoping that Quickhoof wouldn't get the wrong idea about their relationship from that.
Fluttershy suddenly dropped the chair. "Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry!" She went over to him. "I didn't mean to do that, I don't know what came over me. It's just when I saw you hitting Discord, I got so mad and-" She blinked. "What are you doing here, anyway?"
Quickhoof got to his hooves slowly. "Shy, you haven't even written your Mom and I in over a year! We were just-"
Fluttershy gasped. "Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'd forgotten to keep up my correspondence!" She started to wail. "And you came here because you and Mom must have been so worried, and I hit you on the head with a c-c-c-chair! I'm such a horrible pony!"
Quickhoof gulped. "Fluttershy, it's alright. I'm not hurt, really. You know how hard my head is-"
"Yeah, just so long as you don't start courting me like you did Mom after she hit you in the head with a bedpan so she could reattach your leg!" she snapped. "I don't even want to speculate what you two get up to in the bedroom!" She grunted. "Rrrgh! I can't handle this right now. I'm going back to bed." She waddled back up the stairs. She shot one glare back over her shoulders. "Behave!" she snapped at them. Then her face and voice softened. "That is, if you don't mind..." She then walked up the stairs.
Quickhoof stared after her. "I notice she wasn't wearing a ring," he mentioned calmly. "And neither are you."
Discord gulped. He was not looking forward to explaining the 'metamagically incapable of getting married' to anypony in Fluttershy's family. "No, we aren't."
Quickhoof glanced significantly at the dented chair. "And you haven't run for it?"
"Wouldn't dream of it!" Discord proclaimed, a little hotly. He took offense at the implication that he would abandon Fluttershy when she needed him most.
Quickhoof nodded. "Good." He walked forward and extended his hoof to Discord. "Welcome to the family."
Discord blinked for a while, then smiled. "Thanks," he said, extending his eagle talon to shake.
As Quickhoof gripped Discord's talon tightly, he looked him in the eye. "But if you make her cry from anything other than hormones, I'll turn your skull into a chamber pot."
Discord smiled, nodding. "Dully noted."
Quickhoof smirked mirthlessly. "In a non-lethal manner."
Discord gulped. "Uh...dully noted."
"DISCORD!" Fluttershy shouted from her room. "WHERE'S MY FOOD?"
Quickhoof smirked. "I'll leave you to that, shall I?" With that he turned to leave. "And I thought Wind Blossom was hard to deal with when she was carrying Fluttershy," he mumbled as he went out the door.
Discord went to the fridge. "Let's see, chaos, chaos..."