//------------------------------// // Things Are Looking Up // Story: Of Horses And Whorses // by GeodesicDragon //------------------------------// You stand rooted to the spot as Zecora approaches, licking her lips and eyeing you as if you were a piece of meat... or whatever the pony version of that phrase would be. She spits the whip out of her mouth and speaks. "Come with me now, and do not resist," she coos. "For I know you will enjoy this forbidden tryst." "As tempting as that is..." you lie. "I think I'll pass. Thanks for your hospitality, Zecora, but I really must be going now." Zecora's eyes narrow. "There is no escape, my human friend," she snorts. "Work your magic on me now, lest it be your end." "Is that a threat, Zecora?" you ask. "Because I find it hard to get intimate with someone if they're being aggressive." "Enough of these words, you heartless swine!" she yells. "Whether you want it or not, you will be mine!" You swallow nervously. Angry zebras are scary things. Frozen to the spot, Zecora manages to close the distance with you — picking up the whip again for good measure. As she goes to hit you with it, you close your eyes and await the inevitable sting of pain. You are surprised, then, to hear a loud crash instead of enduring the awful feeling of whip versus face. Angry snorting fills the air, but you're too scared to open your eyes to see what's going on. "Who dares intrude on my time of fun?" Zecora demands. "I will see to it that you have to run." "Leave my master alone, you crazy mare," Zayna snarls — which is another thing you never thought you would hear a horse do. "Or else you and I are going to have a problem." You force yourself to crack open one eye. Zayna and Zecora are both staring at each other, neither of them showing any signs of backing down. You cautiously make your way over to Zayna, but Zecora blocks your way with the whip. "Too long I have waited, you insolent mare," she says with fire in her eyes. "I'll deal with you first, try to run if you dare." Zayna snorts. "Bring it on, bitch," she replies. And bring it Zecora does. She runs towards Zayna, releasing the sort of scream you'd expect to hear in a horror movie, and attempts to jump on her neck. Zayna, however, anticipates this and turns around. With one swift movement she brings her hind legs up, sending them crashing into Zecora's face and sending the mare across the room into a chest of drawers. The furniture crumbles to dust as Zecora slumps to the floor, while Zayna turns around and sniggers. "That showed her," she says smugly. "Come on, master, I think we've outstayed our welcome." She motions to her back. "Get on." You climb on without hesitation and leave the hut, the problematic front door becoming nothing but a pile of firewood. Zayna gallops through the forest at a breakneck pace, neither of you looking back from whence you came. The sun beginning its ascent into the sky tells you that a couple of hours have passed since your escape, and so you signal for Zayna to stop. You get off her back and walk around to her front, fixing your gaze on her. She shies away nervously before you crack the biggest grin you can muster and throw your arms around her neck. "That was amazing, what you did back there," you say with a laugh. "I honestly thought that Zecora was going to have her wicked way with me. Thank you, Zayna." Zayna nuzzles your cheek. "You have always looked out for me, master," she replies. "So, of course, the least I could do would be to return the favour. It's not much to pay you back for what you've done for me, but at least it's a start." "I'll always be there for you, girl," you say as you run your fingers through her mane. "And don't you ever forget it." She sighs contentedly as you survey the area. "So... what do you suppose we do now, given the fact that everyone we've met so far has either wanted to beat us up or jump my bones?" Zayna shakes her head. "I'm afraid I don't have any ideas, Master, but what I can suggest is— duck!" You look at her in confusion for a second, just as something collides with you and sends you into the dirt. Spitting out a mouthful of leaves you roll over, ready to defend yourself and Zayna — only to find yourself looking at a very familiar face. "Um... hi," Rainbow Dash says sheepishly. The rest of her friends round a corner of the path, gasping in shock at the sight of the pegasus sitting on you. Dash briefly glances at them before turning to you – noticing the scowl you now possess – and gets off your chest, allowing you to stand. "Look, I know we're the last ponies you want to see right now, but please... just hear us out and then decide what you wanna do." You look at Zayna, who nods slightly. "You've got five minutes," you growl. "But this had better be good." "We want to apologise," Twilight says. "We realise now that we completely misunderstood you. Remember when you left Ponyville? You yelled 'ride like the wind, Zayna!' and then jumped onto her back." "I remember," you reply dryly. "But what does that have to do with anything?" "You see, darling," Rarity interjects. "When you told us that Zayna was a 'whorse' and that you were a 'riding teacher', we thought you meant it in a rude manner. In Equestria, 'whorse' is spelt 'W-H-O-R-S-E', and is a word used to describe prostitutes and mares who have a tendency to be very promiscuous." "Whereas I actually meant 'horse', spelt 'H-O-R-S-E', which is the name of the species Zayna is," you grumble. "And when I said 'riding lessons', I meant I teach people how to sit on and control a horse properly. Zayna is such an animal." You pause for a moment before you burst out laughing. "So you're telling me that it was a simple misunderstanding – over a difference in spelling might I add – which landed me in this mess?" The six ponies blush sheepishly and lower their heads in embarrassment. "Yes," Fluttershy whispers. "Oh, we're so sorry we treated you the way we did. Can you ever forgive us?" You stop laughing and look at them. All six are looking at you with watery eyes, their ears pinned down to the sides of their heads. Truth be told, you find the sight rather adorable. You clutch your chest and stick your fist into your mouth to stop the groan which is threatening to escape. "I forgive you," Zayna says. "It is easy to judge others based on what you hear about them, but at least you have taken the time to seek us out and explain yourselves. Now, someone... somepony, rather... needs to find Zecora and tell her all this." "Provided she's conscious by now," you laugh. The six ponies cock their heads at you and you find yourself explaining what happened at Zecora's hut. By the time you're done their expressions border somewhere between amused and shocked. "I'm sure she'll be fine," Rainbow Dash says with a dismissive wave of a forehoof. "Anyway, we need to get you two back to Ponyville and work out how you got here." "And then we need to send you back," Twilight adds. "Don't worry, we'll explain everything to the townsponies when we return. You no longer have to fear us," she says your name, "and Zayna. We will do everything we can to make you feel at home here." "That's great," you say. "And I forgive you as well, as late as that is. I don't know about you, but I could really use a shower." You glance at Zayna and point a thumb in her direction. "And I think this one can as well, since she's been running a lot." Zayna giggles. "All in a days work," she says with a grin. Twilight motions for you to follow her and the others and you oblige, Pinkie Pie bounding around you talking excitedly about the 'Welcome To Ponyville And Sorry For Being So Mean' party she'll be throwing for you on your arrival. As you walk along the forest path with your faithful horse by your side, you can't help but feel that maybe – just maybe – things are finally looking up.