It's great to be the Prince.
Blueblood stared into his overly humongous mirror with a loving gaze. He made sure that his mane remained impeccable, leaving just enough out of place to keep him from coming off as overly pompous. Not that he wasn't, mind you, but if he was to fulfill his life goal of mating with every mare or stallion that was ever born, he'd need to be willing to not come across as overly concerned with his own appearance. After all, only a few percent of all ponies were actually nobility, and he would've been restricted to only that stock had he failed to...diversify. Blueblood chuckled at that.
"Hot damn, you're a sexy beast," he muttered to himself. The white unicorn smiled with the smuggest expression imaginable as he put the final lock of his mane into place. "If only you weren't, well, me. I can only imagine what our babies would look like. After all, my superior blood should be spread around indiscriminately, shouldn't it?"
"Bluey, dear, can you help me get up?"
And here comes the fun part.
"What, and soil my perfect manicure? My hooves should not be tainted by your common filth, Peasant!"
Blueblood barely managed to suppress his sadistic mirth as he heard the mare laying in his quadruple King sized bed gasp in shock. Oh, how he loved to lead those mares on. While stallions could become just as heartbroken, they were usually a little different in their manner of sorrow, and as much as Blueblood enjoyed getting yelled at by some common idiot, he was always more excited by the heartbreak of a mare who had just been given her entire life's dream only to have it thrown back in her face.
The best part was that there was no moral ambiguity in doing so. Even Celestia herself permitted it, as all his actions were doing was to disillusion the rather stupid and facile subjects that she had worked so hard to indoctrinate with goodwill. Better they learn after a one night stand than on the battlefield, right?
"Of course I'm right!" Blueblood cried out excitedly as he looked into the mirror. "I'm always right, just like Auntie Tia says!"
The gentle sobs of a kind and shattered mare drifted from his stained bedsheets, and the wicked stallion barely managed to suppress his strong urge to laugh as he made himself wipe away that arrogant smile. He thought for a moment about what his father had told him when he was but a young colt, about the disappointment that that horrid stallion had shown him before dying, and he managed to well up some tears for his next little adventure.
"I'm sorry, Dearest. I thought that my joke would be funny, but I was just being dumb," Blueblood iterated, pulling the crying lump in his blankets into a warm, meaningful embrace. "Sh, sh, there there. It's okay, I would never hurt you. I love you far too much for that."
Yeah right!!
"Do you mean that?" the gray mare responded, looking up into his eyes with the most hopeful expression she had ever donned. Her magenta eyes met his kind, loving smile with what must have inevitably been a growing love and happiness. "W-will you stay with me?"
"No," Blueblood replied, keeping that same self-indulgent little smirk that he'd been masking as kindness for the last couple of minutes. "I meant every word I said before. You're a worthless piece of trash, and you're horrible in bed. I've had my satisfaction, so get out."
"W-what?"
"I said 'get out.' Can't you take an order?" Blueblood's smile dropped to an annoyed scowl. "Pick up your things and get your filthy little carcass out of my room before I have you fed to my pet dragon."
"B-but-"
"But what? Did you honestly think that a pathetic, sorry excuse of a mare like yourself could actually get anywhere in life? Did you really think that somepony as amazing and utterly gorgeous as my princely self could possibly see anything in you other than as a sex toy? You're trash, and that's all you have ever been. Now get out of my sight before I vomit."
The gray mare's expression broke, seeming to grow more and more downtrodden with every passing moment. A pair of tears started to trickle down her face as she stood up and started to trot towards the door, picking up the cello case after promptly closing it. Oh, how this was delicious! While Blueblood would love to say that she was utterly beautiful, for that's what she really was, he simply could not pass up the opportunity to utterly wreck the life of such a kind and caring mare.
"Oh, and Vitavia? You are the worse cellist I have ever met. Why did you even bother picking that instrument up?"
Blueblood knew that her actual name was Octavia, but if he had said it correctly, it would have given her some modicum of validity to her existence. While her name, her music, her demeanor, and her lustrous black mane all made the package utterly splendid, it would simply be out of his nature for Blueblood to voice such praise aloud to anypony. He put on a sadistic grin as Octavia stopped at the door.
The gray mare seemed frozen in place for a moment, before setting her case on the ground. She turned to face Blueblood with the coldest look he had ever seen. He barely managed not to piss himself. The prince had elicited many different reactions over his years as a Prince of Equestria, but he'd never seen one so bitterly neutral. Some had screamed, others had cried, and a few had even gone to the whipping post for striking him, but none had ever reacted as such.
"Perhaps you find this amusing, Blueblood. Perhaps you think that you are somehow untouchable, something that is above and beyond anypony else simply because you were born. You're not. Every day that you eat another bite of food, a bite that must be taken to keep you alive just like anypony else, is another day in which you will shit your feces all over yet another stall as you excrete what has been consumed. Do you know what? Your dung still reeks, and not of roses. Unfortunately, the truth is that your excrement is hardly what reeks the most about you."
Octavia drew nearer, that same frozen, impassive look glued to her face. Her eyes seemed to eat everything that Blueblood was. He had been scared before, sure, but this was new. He wasn't scare; we was downright terrified. She drew herself up to him, stopping her muzzle mere inches from his own.
"You smell of your rotten soul, left putrid and alone as you try and mask your loneliness in a twisted form of humor, finding solace in the misery of those around you. You have been given every opportunity to become anything that you could ever have wanted to be, and yet you chose the most pathetic form imaginable to represent yourself. I know what you've done, and now I've seen it for myself, but that still doesn't answer the question that now plagues me: Why? Why did you forget yourself like this? You had everything handed to you from the very beginning, and yet you've done nothing but throw it all away."
No, not this...
"You could have made me proud, Blue! Anypony could have been glad to have known you, ready to follow and seeking the leadership of a stallion who in truth is intelligent enough to do so. You didn't have to command, you could have inspired!"
Oh God, please no!!
Blueblood tried to hide it from himself, but a small trail of tears was now falling down his face, barely suppressed sobs starting to choke up in his throat. He tried to distract himself, but the beautiful mare in front of him kept him rooted in his place, frozen to her mesmerizing eyes.
"You disappoint me, Blueblood. You could have been so much, you could have been great! Instead, you are nothing but a shadow of yourself, a faint image on the wall, highlighted only by the lack of your own true form. When I look at you, my Prince, I feel nothing but sorrow. You will never be that stallion you could have been, and you look like you never will change. I hope you have a great life, blissfully enjoying every moment of torment you inflict on others to relieve yourself of this reality. As for myself, you are dead to me."
Octavia turned and trotted out the door, stopping only long enough to pick up the instrument that she had long used to express her very soul. They gray mare didn't even bother to look over her shoulder. Blueblood stood riveted in place, trying to grasp what had just transpired. He felt horrible inside, that bitter feeling that he had hidden from himself every day since his father's death, and he dragged himself over to his mirror. The white unicorn looked around his room, taking in every detail of every piece of furniture, of every one of his numerous portraits of none other than himself, and he wept.
Blueblood wept for every mare and stallion he had wronged, for every time he had torn someone apart for his own amusement. He wept for all the potential he had left behind in favor of his own self-gratification, for every time he ranted to nopony in particular just for the sake of his own verbal masturbation, enjoying every nuance of his own speech. The young stallion wept for what he had become in favor of what he should have been. But above all else, he wept for the father he had failed.
The young prince wept inconsolably for hours, denying his numerous concerned servants from entering his room, his only domain. Servants who cared for him because it was their job, not because they felt any modicum of love or respect for him outside of his undeserved power. He had thrown away everything dear to him for the sake of hiding his emotions, and he knew it. He wanted to be loved, to be cared for, but had acted brashly many a time to hide his own fear of it.
This wasn't the first time that the prince had wept, nor would it be the last, but he resorted to what he always did: narcissism. Blueblood stared at the mirror long and hard, idly convincing himself that it was all Octavia's fault and none of his own, that he was a good pony and that they were the ones at fault. He started to smile a bit when he thought about how great he really was. Yes, he was the prince for Celestia's sake!
Soon, the young stallion stoop up, wiping away his tears as he trotted out from his room. He listened to the concerned questions of his 'mindless' minions as they asked many a question with faux concern, and he convinced himself that their concern was indeed a valid one. After all, who could help but love such an incredibly gorgeous stallion?
"Luna, what are you doing?" Rainbow asked, an amused look on her face. She stared in awe as the Night Goddess wolfed down her fourteenth pastry. "You've already won, for Celestia's sake!"
"Mpff nom!" Luna tried to reply as she finished chewing, reaching idly for yet another morsel to shove down her own throat. As soon as the last one was gone, Luna tried to hork another down, but was stopped by Rainbow's hoof.
"As much as I enjoy watching you eat those, aren't you sure that's not a little...unhealthy?" Rainbow asked, trying not to laugh insanely at her newfound friend. "Wait...can alicorns even get fat?"
"Nope!" Luna replied cheerfully, before stuffing another one into her already bulging mouth. "Celestia eaphs these all thef timeph!"
Rainbow couldn't help it anymore. The cyan mare fell to the ground, laughing uproariously at the princess's antics. Luna looked down at her with a truly confused expression. "Whatsph tho funny?"
"Your face!"
"Dost thou imply that we-I am ridiculous or something?"
"Only when you're eating a stack of Pinkie's donuts faster than she can!"
The pink mare had given them a 'small' batch of the pastries when they were leaving, and it was supposed to last a few days even at Rainbow's insane rate. Naturally, they decided to compete to see who could hork down the most on the way back to Rianbow's house. There was no real contest there, with the light blue mare barely finishing six as it was.
"You know, Luna, you look pretty cute when you're scarfing those."
That's when the dark alicorn started to choke on her baked goods. Rainbow continued to laugh for a moment, before realizing that it wasn't a ploy.
"Ohmygosh, are you alright?!"
When Luna fell over, trying to breath some non-existent air, Rainbow started to panic. She started to look around for her best failsafe, but Twilight was nowhere around. It was just her and the princess, and that meant that she was the only one who could do something about it.
Even in her panic stricken mind, Rainbow Dash could still remember reading one of Twilight's books on CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver after Daring Do had used it a while back. Something about a Diamond Dog and choking...She reached her hooves around the alicorn, pulling that mare's back up against her midriff as she started to pull in at the base of her ribcage. It took several tries, and yet there was still no getting the lodged morsel out of Luna's esophagus.
"C'mon, think, Rainbow, think!"
She racked her brains for a few more seconds before realizing that her forehooves were slightly misplaced. The memory of the book's diagrams came back to mind, and she imitated them as best she could. Time was of the essence. Rainbow wrapped her hooves around her friend's midriff again, but this time she placed her hooves in a slightly better position, before knocking the food out on the third heave. That's when she noticed that Luna was no longer breathing.
"Oh Celestia damnit no!"
Rainbow reached down and flipped Luna over, trying to lay her gently down on her back. The Princess of the Night was not breathing, and with closer inspection, Rainbow found that there was no pulse as well.
"No, no, NO!! DON'T DIE ON ME LUNA!!"
Rainbow looked around, tears streaming her face as she tried to see if anypony was around to help her out. They were outside of Ponyville and well beyond earshot of anypony.
Why'd I have to move so damn far out?!
Rainbow's panicked look subsided as she realized that it was up to her and her alone to save her friend. She looked down at her friend's face, and she decided right then not to give up, not until she was sure that there was no way to save that splendid mare. Maybe the two hadn't known each other that long, but there was no way in hell that Rainbow would leave her like this.
"Let's think...Medical Resuscitation, Volume One mentioned the basics in how to-"
Dash stopped talking aloud, instead trying to get her friend's heart beating again. Placing her hooves in position, the cyan mare started thrusting vigorously, knowing that even if she broke Luna's ribs, it would be better than to do so too weakly and let her die.
The first sentence in the book had said something that was drilled into the mind of every pony that ever read it: if they're already dead, don't be afraid to kill them. Dead is dead, and so all you're doing is trying to bring them back. Don't be afraid to do what you have to.
Rainbow remembered that, and she employed it right then without a moment's hesitation. She put her mouth up against Luna's, drawing out the used air to replace it with her own fresh air before going back to trying to start the heart again. She kept at it, wishing oh so fervently for a defibrillator right about then.
Luna drifted in the void, feeling nothing save the strange sensation of disembodiment. She knew this feeling, it was the feeling that she felt every day that she moved the moon in its place. How she had ended up in some strange void, though, was a mystery to her.
Where am I?
She tried to look around, but there was nothing there anyways, and no body through which to move within anyways. It took a moment for the last moments of her life to start coming back, but Luna started to realize what had just happened.
Am I...dead?
"Yes, Daughter."
Mom?!
A light started to form itself in front of the young alicorn, shaping itself into the image of another alicorn. The figure was quite tall and regal, looking much like a more noble version of Celestia. The mane was of a reddish hue, and sat still and tangible down to her shoulders.
"Yes, Dear, it's me."
Mom!!
"Hush now, we don't have much time."
What are you talking about?
Rainbow could barely feel the tears that were streaming uncontrollably down her face as she tried time after time to get her friend's heart moving again. While the cells weren't completely dead yet, it was starting to approach the allotted time when the brain would actually start to suffer...
The cyan mare pushed her lips up against Luna's yet again, forcing more oxygen into her system despite the fact that the blood wasn't really flowing. She wanted to be sure that there was something in there if, no when the heart started again.
"C'mon, Luna..." Rainbow muttered, her voice cracking as she continued to pound on Luna's chest, trying desperately to start a still unbeating heart.
"Daughter, you are dead, it is true, but you still have time yet to live, time in which you are supposed to live. And Luna?"
Yes, Mother?
"Be sure to thank Rainbow Dash for me, will you?"
Okay.
"Well, I must be going. Don't worry, you can see me again in a- No spoilers, my child."
With that, the image of the white alicorn started to fade, her kind smile disappearing with the rest of her. Luna was soon surrounded by darkness yet again. Suddenly, she felt a pain in her chest that shouldn't have been there.
Rainbow felt the start of a heartbeat, and she could hardly contain herself. Without hesitating, she continued to try reviving her friend, suddenly filled with hope. Her prayers were being answered.
Thank you, Celestia.
Luna started to feel herself being tugged into a body that felt cold and unalive to her, but she could at the same time feel its heart beginning to stir once more. Without hesitating, she dove into the still body, trying herself to get its heart beating again through sheer will.
"YES!!" Rainbow hollered as she felt Luna's heart starting to beat more regularly, and she dove down and planted a firm kiss on the alicorn's lips. It was a true kiss, not another attempt at resuscitation, and she felt her tongue slipping into Luna's mouth. What's more, she could start to feel the dark princess's own returning the favor. After another moment, Rainbow pulled back, meeting the teal eyes of that wonderful, gorgeous mare she had just barely managed to save.
"What did I miss?" Luna asked, still a little dazed from the excursion. Rainbow just laughed, before pulling the alicorn into a deep, heartfelt hug. She cried into her dear friend's mane, but her tears were ones of joy rather than sorrow. For the rest of her life, Rainbow would always point to that moment as the happiest of her life.
"Oh, I'll tell you later. But for now, we have got to get you to a hospital."
They laughed together, before the young pegasus picked up Luna, slinging her over her shoulder to carry back to the Ponyville Proper and the awaiting medical attention. Neither of them noticed that the sun was rising as the moon set regardless of Luna's lack of influence.