//------------------------------// // In Which the Bathtub Becomes a Plot Point // Story: Blueblood's Ascension Part II; or, The Otherworldly Adventure of an Alicorn Prince // by MyHobby //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle yawned and sat up on the couch, her hair piled high on her head in a large, unruly bee’s nest of purple/pink-striped human hair. She sighed, mentally preparing herself for the day’s work. A twitch of her fingers drew a small scrap of paper to her open palm, her magic working exceptionally well for how early in the morning it was. That is, about ten-thirty. She’s still young, you see. “Initial results suggest that the food known as ‘pizza’ is filling, nutritional, and can be customized to taste.” She scribbled her note quickly, her pencil flying through the air on swaths of magic. “Excessive consumption appears to cause a mild form of drowsiness, as well as odd dreams during the night.” She glanced at the prone form of Braeburn Apple, who had taken refuge on the floor during the night. His hat sat upon his face, not quite hiding the drool that dripped down from his mouth. He mumbled something about “hot tubs” and “buffalo poop.” Twilight scrunched up her nose, then went back to her notes. “Braeburn may not be useful as part of a control group in the future. His close proximity to Pinkie Pie renders him…” She tapped the pencil against her lip. “Different.” She retrieved a scrap of paper out of her breast pocket. “Wood, glass, etching tools, ley line layouts… Where’d I put my saddlebags?” She shoved both pieces of paper into her pocket and glanced around the room. Rainbow Dash hung over the back of the couch, her left limbs dangling beside Twilight. Her colorful hairdo swayed in the breeze created by her snores. Twilight was eternally amazed at the volume she was able to reach. “Hey, Dash, wake up.” She prodded Rainbow Dash in the side. “Up and at ‘em, we’ve got a big day ahead of us.” “Five more minutes,” said Rainbow Dash. The words ended up sounding much more like “fallow bridgets,” but Twilight appreciated the effort. She stood and combed her fingers through her hair, marveling at the range of possibilities the dancing phalanges afforded her. Within moments, she was halfway-presentable and ready to face the day. Her first task was to wake the occupants of the room. Redheart laid face-down on the card table, her cards still grasped in her hands. Across from her sat Eudora and Blueblood, who were likewise sleeping in a pose approximating the last hand of the night, the one they were unable to finish due to fatigue. “Hey, guys?” Twilight said gently. “Guys?” When she received no answer, she realized that she would be forced to perform her task the hard way. She smashed her hand down on the table, giving the occupants a start. Three falsetto voices called out in a brief instance of surprise. Three heads turned to Twilight, giving her the most thorough stink-eye she had ever received. It rolled off of her like water off of a duck’s butt. “Time to greet the morning, guys. I gotta make that magic mirror today.” Blueblood continued to glare at her. “Your level of care and gentleness is astounding, Princess Sparkle.” “Gimme a medal.” Twilight went around the room, nudging the others awake. “Come on, wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey.” John gave her a double take. “Eggs and what now?” Rainbow Dash rolled her head to the opposite side of the couch’s back, turning her eyes away from the growing activity of the room. The movement managed to unbalance her, and she tumbled onto the floor. Much grumbling ensued as she rose to her feet. Flash Sentry sat by a window in the adjacent room. He glanced at Twilight as she entered, gave her a small smile, then returned to scanning the great outdoors. “Keefe left a couple of hours ago,” he said. “Had to get to his job.” Twilight nodded and mumbled an “Mm, hmm.” She tilted her head and wrinkled her brow. “Have you been up all night?” “Yeah,” he spoke with a nod. He sent her a sideways glance while quirking the side of his mouth upwards. “Somepony had to keep watch, right?” She opened her mouth to reply, but he continued. “Don’t worry about it, it’s what I do. It’s what I’m meant to do.” Twilight looked back into the other room, where the various ex-ponies and vindicated bronies were slowly starting up their day. She surreptitiously took a seat beside him, silently hoping her act was not noticed by the others. “So, what do you do when you’re not doing what you do?” He blinked, then followed up with a confused double-take. Twilight smacked her face with a frustrated hand. “Ah, I mean… Do you… Do you do anything for fun?” He looked to her with hollow eyes. “No. I never have any fun at all.” They stared for as long as it was possible to hold back the little snorts of laughter that built up insides each of them. Flash leaned on the window sill and shook his head slightly. “I play the guitar in my spare time, just for fun. I never really took the time to get good at it.” “Magic or acoustic?” Twilight asked. She leaned forwards to make sure she caught his words. “Acoustic,” he replied. He scratched at his neck, looking for something, anything, to let his eyes rest upon. They kept drifting back to Twilight. “You gotta love the classics, right?” “Yeah.” She stood and edged away from him. “I’ve, um, I’ve got to get to work on the mirror, so… Um, keep up the, um… Keep up the good work, soldier.” “As you wish,” he said with a bow of his head, “Princess Twilight.” Rather than keep up her Fluttershy impression, Twilight retreated from the room with more haste than she intended. She tried to hide her furious blush by racing for the bathroom, but managed to trip over Blueblood’s tail on the way. She tumbled straight for the floor, as the theory of gravity usually insists, but she was stopped halfway down by a strong blue glow. She tilted her head towards the pony she had tripped over, the very same that now held her two hoof-lengths from the ground and a very unfortunate injury to the face. “Careful, my dear,” he said with that silky-smooth smile of his. He set her upright with a chuckle. “Where might you be going in such a hurry? Off to gather supplies for the mirror?” “Yes,” Twilight said with a scrunched-up nose. She looked off to the left as she gave him an uneasy smile. “That is exactly where I was going. Yes.” “Let me know how I may be of assistance,” he continued. “I will do everything in my considerable power to see that the journey home goes smoothly.” “Well, if you insist…” She thumbed through her list, an act that was perhaps extraneous due to the fact that her list was only a page long. And four items long. “An old house like this has to have some kind of mirror somewhere, right?” He came to attention and saluted. “I shall retrieve the item as requested, milady!” Twilight tapped her pencil to her mouth, ignoring the possible presence of germs. “If we find a whole mirror, that might take two items off of the list. I brought the layout stencils with me… Hmm…” Blueblood trotted up to a room that he knew contained a full-body mirror. It also contained a sink and a tub, as well as one other item he was unfamiliar with. He pressed a small silver lever on the side and watched the liquid contained in the bowl flow down. “A miniature whirlpool. How ingenuitive.” He was about to remove the mirror from the wall when he quite suddenly found himself no longer alone. Redheart stood behind him, her mouth agape. “Oh, great Glory in Heaven, it’s a bathtub!” Her alicorn magic glowed, sending Blueblood flying out of the room. The door closed with a bang, and the sounds of water flowing began to drift from the locked room. A sigh as deep as the great oceans of the world came forth from Redheart as she sank into the warm water, letting her cares and worries drip down the drain. Blueblood’s cares and worries had no such hole in the ground to funnel into. He glanced around for another mirror with which to abscond. His eyes fell upon a set of stairs leading to the upper level. He smirked lightly as he trotted up the staircase. The upper levels were much dustier than the lower ones. Very little evidence of any dust covers could be found, and cobwebs seemed to be the order of the day. Tacky wallpaper peeled, revealing the crumbling plaster beneath. Blueblood placed a hoof over his nose, holding back a sniffle. He trudged on, leaving hoof prints in the carpet. He glanced in a long-abandoned bathroom and found a mirror covered with a blanket. He tossed the blanket to the side and lifted the mirror in his magic. “Hullo, there. I think you’re exactly what we need.” His hooves clomped happily on the floor as he began his return to the lower levels. A thumping from above caught his attention. There was a whispered curse and sounds of scrambling. Blueblood scanned the ceiling and noted a trap door sitting not three feet from him. Not wishing to alert the thing to his knowledge of its presence, he flapped silently up to the door and squeaked it open. On the other side of the door, facing away from him, was a changeling. He choked on his own spit as he lowered himself to the ground. He thumped along, nearly tumbling down the stairs as he panicked. He reached Twilight Sparkle inside a moment. “Cha-hange… Cha-hange… Gugh, Chan—” “Oh, good!” she said. “You found one! Now I’ve just got to calibrate the interdimensional triangulation, reverse the polarity of the tachyon particles, recalibrate the positron integrator—” “There’s a changeling upstairs!” Blueblood spoke with a furious hiss. “We need to get that soldier friend of yours on his game or we are love-lost toast!” Twilight’s eyes grew to match her nervousness. “Changeling? Here? Is it spying on us?” “No, it dropped in for tea.” Blueblood dragged a hoof over his face. “Of course it’s here to spy on us! That’s what changelings do!” Braeburn stuck his head into the conversation. “What’s this about a changelin’ spy?” “Blueblood says there’s one upstairs!” Twilight said. “What do we do!?” Braeburn looked from Twilight to Blueblood. “We gotta stop it.” Blueblood scoffed. “What do you mean, ‘we?’” “Ah mean we. You ’n ah.” Braeburn lifted a finger; sparks flew from it. “We’re gonna corral ourselves a creepy crawly.” He turned to Twilight and gave her a smirk. “You stay here ’n work on that mirror. We got this.” Twilight jerked a thumb towards the other room. “Flash’s in there if you need him.” Blueblood’s mouth nearly dropped to the ground. “You two can’t be serious. I am to fight a changeling!?” “Eenope,” Braeburn chuckled. “You’re gonna catch a changelin’.” Eudora walked by the doorway just as Braeburn made his declaration. “Blueblood’s gonna catch a what?” “A cold if’n he’s not careful!” Blueblood felt a tug at his wings as Braeburn led him away. “Let’s head upstairs an’ look fer that thing you lost.” “My life,” Blueblood mumbled as he was led away. “This is my life, every single day.” He pointed Braeburn to the trap door, through which could be heard the bumping and thumping of the changeling. The Prince of Pioneering reached gently up and pushed the door to the side. He lifted his hands, reaching up into the attic. He hoisted himself up silently, urging Blueblood to follow with a curled finger. Blueblood flapped up and saw the changeling fuming on the other end of the attic. Braeburn held a finger to his lips, gesturing for him to move to the right. He complied, and the two of them flanked the changeling. On the count of three, they pounced. Blueblood grunted as he lifted himself into the air, and the changeling noticed the sound. The look the black-coated creature held on its face as it saw an alicorn prince bearing down on it was one for the record books. Its mouth dropped open in a noiseless scream, its multifaceted eyes widening with horror. It ducked down, dropping itself right out of the line of fire. Braeburn and Blueblood, in accord with Murphy’s Law, collided with a bump of their heads. The changeling sat for a moment beside the comatose forms of the two princes, contemplating the unique turn of events. Blueblood stirred, and the changeling was ignited to action. With a flash of fire, it morphed its body into Blueblood’s visage. It jumped down through the hole and trotted down the stairs. It was greeted by John, who seemed unwilling to let the changeling pass without a conversation. “Hey, Blueblood! What’s the story of how you became an alicorn?” The changeling swore a series of chitters under its breath. “Ah, that is, um… Why do you ask?” John rolled his eyes and pointed to his chest. “Brony, remember? I need to update my headcanon.” A moment’s consideration translated the term “brony” into “nerd.” The changeling did an adrenaline-fueled version of the “unhappy-hoof dance.” “’Kay. It, um”—the changeling glanced at the couch—“I was, uh, lying on the couch…” John nodded, though his eyebrow quirked. “Go on…” “Yeah…” Sounds of a pony and a pony-come-human rumbling through the attic met his morphed ears. “Yeah, and I had this epiphany, kinda. Um, then ‘poof,’ alicorn. It was kinda nuts.” Hooves and footsteps tramping down a staircase came next. “Um, so yeah, that’s about it. Not too exciting, I know, but we all have our weird days, right? Like today. Today’s a weird day. Gotta run. Sayonara. Arrivederci. Adieu.” He brushed past John and made his way for the door. He didn’t get half-way across the room before the real Blueblood burst in and made his feelings known. “Stop that dastardly changeling freak! Stop him!” “Hey!” the changeling said as it was set upon by half a dozen attackers, “I’m not that dastardly!” The changeling neatly slipped out from under the dog pile and ran in the opposite direction from which it wanted to go. It looked back at the door ruefully. “Drat.” While its head was turned, it didn’t notice the closed bathroom door between it and further progress. Quite frankly, ka-bam. Redheart’s voice blasted from within, “Hey! I’m trying to relax! Get your own bathroom!” The changeling rose shakily to its feet, moving its view from one side of the room to the other. Its teeth chattered as it raised a hoof to take off once more. “Hey, bug!” The changeling looked up to see the grinning, humanoid form of Rainbow Dash gripping a ceiling lamp. “Catch!” She dropped on it with the force of a hundred-pound human, which at her falling speed was more than enough to knock it off of its feet. Its tongue lolled out as it dropped, its head cracking against the hardwood floor. Rainbow Dash crouched beside it, poking at its approximation of Blueblood’s face with an uncertain finger. “Is it dead?” Flash grasped the changeling by its wings and carried it over to the couch. “Nah, you just knocked it for a loop.” He grasped a leftover glass of water and dumped it over the changeling’s head. The changeling coughed as a good amount of water flowed down the wrong pipe. “Aw, hack, yuck. What give, pony!? You trying to drown me or some—” It trailed off as the angry faces of the house’s current occupants hovered over it. “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it.” It blinked. “Well, I guess I might have done it, yes, if by ‘it’ you mean ‘participated in the invasion of Canterlot.’ Yeah, okay, I did that. But it was just the one time! I swear! I thought it was a good idea at the time, alright? Queen Chrysalis was all ‘we shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine,’ and we were all like ‘heck yeah!’ In hindsight, we really didn’t think it through all that well, and we’re probably deserving of all sorts of hate an—” “Let me stop you right there,” Flash said, poking the changeling in the belly, “and ask you what you’re doing here.” “Hey, hey, hey!” the changeling snarled. “Hands off the merchandise! I got rights here, soldier! You can’t touch me! I know you can’t! You gots rules and stuff! You can’t break those rules!” “You’re right,” Braeburn said. He leaned past Flash and got his face very near the changeling’s indeed. “Mah first rule is ‘don’t hurt mah friends.’ Now talk.” The changeling licked its lips. “Okay, okay you got me. My name’s Mandible, I’m a changeling of the royal hive guard, my favorite type of love to eat is summer romance, I’ve got five holes in my right forehoof and seven in my left, and—” “For the love of—” Twilight sat in a chair as her eye began twitching violently. Rainbow Dash sucked in a sharp breath at the sight. “What’s Chrysalis’ plan? Where are the changelings hiding?” Mandible grinned. “Everywhere.” Silence descended upon the room, save for the sound of water running through the house’s pipes. Eudora rolled her eyes and grasped the changeling’s ear. “Yeah, no. What’s the plan, doofus? Give us specifics.” “You’ll never make me talk!” Mandible proclaimed. “The changelings shall rise again! Muhuhahahahaha!” Silence descended upon the room again. Flash groaned and slapped Mandible across the face. “Stop it.” “Sorry,” Mandible mumbled. “This is getting nowhere,” Blueblood grumped. “Just rip his wings off and be done with it.” “Whoa, dude,” John said. “That’s pretty dark.” “Actually, it’s a very effective interrogation technique, since it’s not permanently damaging.” All heads turned to Flash Sentry, Mandible’s in particular. “I mean, they can just morph new ones in place. “Still hurts like the dickens, though.” Twilight Sparkle ran her fingers through her hair even as she chewed at the violet strands. “I’m not gonna condone that.” “See!?” Mandible said. “You guys have rules!” “If he doesn’t talk,” Twilight continued, “file his horn off.” “They’re at Ingram Construction!” the changeling cried. “Every last one of them! Chrysalis is planning something to do with the new building they’re constructing downtown! That’s all I know! That’s it! Don’t take my horn, please, don’t take my horn!” Twilight nodded. “Flash, tie our new friend up. Stick him in the bathroom once Redheart gets out.” Flash bowed. “As you wish, Princess.” John’s nose twitched nearly imperceptibly. “I smell a reference.” The soldier shook his head as he wound the rope around Mandible. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mandible looked from Twilight, who had just walked into the next room, to Flash Sentry. “Oh, but I do, you dawg, you.” He grinned at John and winked. “Tastes like puppy love to me.” The changeling gasped as the rope tightened around his midsection. “Keep your smart ideas to yourself,” Flash warned. Eudora watched as Twilight Sparkle’s magic wove around the mirror, chiseling it and filling it with arcane light. “So… You weren’t really going to file that thing’s horn off, were you?” The intricate, magic-guided dance halted inside a moment. Twilight turned slowly to Eudora and sighed. “No. No, not unless it was a matter of life and death.” Flash cinched the final knot on Mandible’s restraints. The changeling snorted at him. “Great job, mighty warrior. You know I’m just gonna morph myself out of these ropes the instant your back is turned.” Flash looked up as Redheart exited the bathroom, fully refreshed. She wore a white bathrobe and was running a towel through her wet pink hair. John promptly and honorably left the room. The soldier smiled brightly as he turned back to Mandible. “I know, right?” “This is entirely uncivilized.” Mandible sat in the used bathwater which filled the tub nearly to the top. He was soaked thoroughly and found himself pruning up under his Blueblood-esque fur. Twilight Sparkle nodded approvingly. “With the water nearly covering him, he’ll be unable to use his fire-sparked transformation spell. That’s brilliant, Flash!” Flash Sentry rubbed at the back of his neck. “Well, I certainly try…” Blueblood also nodded approvingly, even as he kept a weathered eye on the conversation between the aforementioned ponies. “This should hold him until such a time as we are able to return to Equestria, for certain.” “An’ now we got ourselves a good idea of where to head next,” Braeburn said as he scratched at his chin. “Do any of you know where this ‘Ingram Construction’ is at?” John’s eyes widened. “Oh, heck. That’s where Keefe works.” Eudora gasped appropriately for the situation. “But if the changelings are there…” “Then he’s in danger,” Twilight finished for her. “Well, we’re all in danger, but he’s in the most direct line of fire in terms of—” “What’s important is getting there,” Redheart interrupted. “And we need to warn Lavern and Amelia on the way.” Blueblood spread his wings. “Then what are we waiting for?” “Already out the door!” Rainbow Dash shouted from her position on the front lawn. A mass exodus took place, during which the changeling could only stare at the retreating herd of ponies and bronies. Mandible licked his lips and called out. “Hey, guys? Guys!? Drat.” He splashed in the water. “Hay, I can make bubbles!” Alma awoke to the gentle sound of her mother’s voice. “Alma, honey, it’s time to get up.” Alma pulled the covers over her head and smiled. “Mommy, it’s only Saturday. No school.” The voice of her mother chuckled as a weight sat on the side of her bed. “I’m not getting you up for school, honey. We’re going on a very special trip today.” Alma lowered the covers to get a look at her mother’s smiling face. “Where’s that?” “It’s a construction site,” her mother said. “We’re going to see how the construction vehicles build the new office building downtown. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Alma tilted her head and squinted. “I guess?” Alma’s mother took her in her arms. A deep chuckle rolled around in her throat. Alma thought for a moment that the chuckle didn’t sound at all like her mommy, but it certainly felt like her hugs. “Don’t worry, honey. When you see what’s in store… Why, you’re going to love, love, love it.” They came over a short hill just as Alma got in the car. John raised a hand and called out, but Amelia just smiled and got in the driver’s seat. Flash hesitated. “Something’s wrong.” Two brutish humans walked from the house towards the assembled My Little Pony-related folks. Their grins revealed fangs, and their eyes glowed a subtle green. They walked at a steady pace towards them, fists clenched and eyebrows angled downwards. With little warning, Rainbow Dash rushed up to one and socked it in the jaw. She pulled her hand away with a yelp. “Yeowch! What do they feed you guys, bricks?” The fist that flew at her was not so forgiving. She was knocked backwards, holding her hands up to a bloody nose. A string of profanity spewed from her mouth; even the two bulky guys flinched at the onslaught. Flash ran up to the other one, juking and dodging like the pro that he was. The mighty pony of valor was untouchable, even as his fists impacted the larger foe. The giant toppled, laid low by Flash’s actions. Twilight Sparkle picked her jaw up off of the ground. Flash stood panting over his fallen foe, when the inevitable happened: the other guy punched him, too. He plummeted to the ground, his eyeballs facing opposite directions. Twilight decided that she’d had enough. Her magic glow encased the brutes in lavender light, lifting them into the air. She shook them for a good ten seconds before letting the fiends drop to the ground. The dizzy men glowed with fire as they returned to their true forms, that of two larger-than-average changeling soldiers. Twilight dusted her hands off and turned to the others. “Redheart, you take a look at their injuries. Blueblood, you get directions from John. Once we know where we’re going, Rainbow Dash, Flash, and I are gonna morph into ponies and fly over there.” Braeburn’s magic glowed bright. “What if’n ah just use a trackin’ spell?” Twilight shook her head. “No time. The car has to follow the streets, but if we use out wings, we can bee-line for the changeling hideout.” She rubbed her hands together as she looked to the sky. “We might even be able to beat them there.” Eudora raised a hand. “Aren’t we forgetting the wizard’s first rule?” Twilight quirked a brow. “And that would be?” “Never split the party.”