//------------------------------// // Mundanity in Mess Halls // Story: Odrsjot // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “And while we were attaching the support girders, Simon started chattering like crazy!” Props exclaimed in between massive bites of celery. The other crew members of the Noble Jury sat across the long table from her. Night had fallen, and the smell of food and merriment wafted through the mess hall. “Turns out he discovered a structural fracture within the walls of the place! I mentioned it to the dock workers, and they looked at me like I was insane! But then I showed them the fracture with an enchanted sub-structural analysis shard, and sure enough, it looks like the ponies who built this hangar way back in the day hadn’t done everything up to code. According to Article Twelve of the Statutes of the Upper Roast, the owners of this place were lied to when they bought it, and that entitles them to some financial assistance from the city treasury.” “Well, that’s certainly fortunate for them,” Belle said. “The Council of Ledo provides for many ponies, but not to that degree.” Props winked. “Wait till you see the price it takes to own a place like this, and then you might think twice.” “Still.” Eagle Eye paused to nibble on his celery, swallow, and then speak. “It looks like you cut them a break.” “Oh, totally!” Props grinned wide. “The silly-heads were blushing, they were so embarrassed and thankful. Embarrathankfulassed! Heehee!” She scarfed some vegetables down and smiled. “They’re letting us stay indefinitely! That should give me plenty of time to help them attach the rest of the support struts! Assuming Simon’s got the noggin to knock ‘em in place! Heehee!” “Do you not wish to see your Uncle, Props?” Pilate asked. “You’ve been through quite an ordeal, and several hours have gone by already.” “Yes!” Belle added with a nod. “You’ve done enough as it is for us, Props. Certainly you’re dying to see your loved ones.” “Hmmmm…” Props rubbed her peach-colored chin. “The guys here are gonna have to take their sweet time in getting the next round of supplies.” She smiled, her blue eyes fluttering brightly. “Bouncy-bouncy my way home, I think I’ll go!” She giggled. With a shudder, Rainbow Dash turned to look towards the other end of the table. “Maybe we can do it first thing in the morning.” “Sounds like a plan,” Pilate said with a nod. “I certainly wouldn’t mind visiting a few more marketplaces.” “Why?” Eagle Eye asked. “You looking for a sweet jacket or something?” “Oh, no… no…” “Because I could totally help you find--” “Ahem.” Pilate cleared his throat. “I would like it if I can find some new maps of this place. All the ones that Floydien has in the navigation room are great and all. But…” “Yes yes yesssss…” Floydien nodded over his bowl of greens. “Could use more brown and grass where the glimmer glimmer has parted over boomer years.” “Er… Yeah…” Kera turned her slingshot over in her telekinetic grip, almost entirely ignoring her celery. “What he said.” “Spitting of spit…” Floydien looked curiously at the rest of the table. “Where has the rotund one gone?” “I was beginning to wonder that myself,” Rainbow Dash said, her brow furrowing. “I don’t suppose he fell through one of the streets and hit the earth, do ya?” “If so, the mountains below us would have shattered,” Eagle Eye grumbled. “That wasn’t very nice, now, was it?” Pilate remarked with a smirk. “You’re right.” Eagle Eye grinned. “I’ll apologize to the mountains.” “Heheheh…” “Is everypony enjoying their vittles?” Ebon Mane asked from the kitchen door. “Oh, it’s absolutely vittletastic!” Props chirped. “It’s wonderful as always, Mr. Mane,” Belle said with a smile. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be leaving soon?” Kera asked. Belle and Pilate winced. Ebon chuckled breathily. “I just want to make sure everyone here is taken care of.” “Yes, thank for helping me with the dinner,” Eagle Eye said, his lavender coat turning into a sharp ruby color. “I don’t know how you do things so naturally.” “You have the gift of a cook’s gene within ya.” “I dunno. I mean, sure, I made soup and oatmeal for Crimson and the rest while we stayed in Foxtaur, but that was food for fugitives. Fugitives of war.” “Boomers present are no different, yes yes?” Floydien remarked with his mouth full. Eagle Eye’s ears folded back. “Eh heh… I guess.” He cleared his throat. “Still, with practice, I think I can make it more than edible.” “You mean tasty?” Kera grunted. “Er… yes…” The filly chuckled. “At least you’re good for more than one thing,” Roarke muttered, suddenly trotting into the room on heavy hooves. “Miss Roarke. A pleasure to hear you as always,” Pilate said. He gestured a blind hoof towards the table. “Are you actually going to join us for once?” “Not for eating.” She pulled a burlap bag off her side and placed it onto the table before Eagle Eye with a thud. “There you go.” Eagle Eye blinked. “Uhm… I give up. Is it a cook book?” He gulped. “Made out of dragon bones?” “Simply unwrap the parcel and discover for yourself, breeder.” “Mmfff… fiiiiine.” Eagle Eye levitated the bag up and unraveled it. Roarke looked over his shoulder. “I do believe you possessed something of similar nature when you first attempted to face me in combat. You remember that occasion? I completely defeated every other pony in your company except for Rainbow Dash.” “Jee… your memory is impeccable.” Eagle Eye finally slid the bag off and his lips parted. “Whoah…” He levitated a gladius and a heavy shield. Both were made of steel with gold bands swirling from hilt to tip. “Now this is… is…” “Acceptable, yes?” Roarke raised an eyebrow over one of her brows. “You fought under the traditional form of Franzington sword and shield, if I’m not mistaken.” “The… the weight is absolutely perfect…” Breathless, Eagle Eye stepped back from the table, levitating the two items in front of him. With perfect mental precision, he began twirling the sword and stabbing it into the open air above the table. “Oooh! Shiny!” Props cooed. “Yeesh!” Belle winced. “EE, must you? We have food and fillies present.” “Har har,” Kera muttered. “It’s… it’s absolutely fantastic!” Eagle Eye stammered with sparkly eyes. He turned to gawk at the Searonese pony. “Thank you! Wherever did you find them?” “You are not the only pony who engages in shopping.” Roarke then trotted over to Belle and Pilate and slapped a pair of heavy metal pieces onto the table, rattling their plates. “And you two. Rainbow Dash is constantly having to save your flanks from one situation or another.” “Eh heh heh…” Belle smiled nervously. “You noticed?” “Indeed.” Roarke pointed at the helmets. “These were designed for unicorns, but you’ll find that they will fit a zebra or a mare without a horn just the same.” “Wow, Roarke. They’re… uhm…” Belle’s smile was a flimsy one as she tilted the helmet left and right. “They’re certainly…” “Sturdy,” Pilate said. O.A.S.I.S. flickered as he pivoted his head towards his beloved. “Mulesteel, if I’m not mistaken.” “Nopony’s been using it.” Roarke pointed towards the general area of the unseen hangar. “I have matching armor for it. Next time that we’re in a pinch, you can be better protected.” “For once, a smart boomer,” Floydien said matter-of-factly. “Floydien approves.” “I also bought some weaponcraft for Josho,” Roarke said as she shuffled around the table. “But Goddess only knows where the fat breeder went to.” “I’ll give you a hint,” a tired voice said as the stallion in question suddenly strolled into the mess hall with a weary expression. “It wasn’t to breed.” “Josho!” Eagle Eye spun to grin at him, brandishing the sword and shield. “You’re back! And look it! Aren’t they shiny!” “Very pretty, kid. Now go sew yourself a sweater.” “Hmmph!” Eagle Eye frowned as he galloped through the kitchen and up the stairwell. “I’m gonna practice my form!” His voice called back. “I’m getting rusty!” “Welcome back, Josho,” Pilate remarked. “Good to know you’re in one piece.” “For the time being.” The obese stallion made his way straight for Rainbow. “I think we should have a chat.” “Oh?” Rainbow Dash blinked at him. “Don’t you want to eat first?” “No.” Everypony was silent. “Yowsers…” Rainbow leaned back, gaping at him. “This must be serious.” “Can we go above deck somewhere, sparky?” Josho said in a tired tone. His eyes were cold, cutting. “We need to talk about what waits for us east of this flying turd.”