//------------------------------//
// An Imaginary Bully 
// Story: Only an Imaginary Friend 
// by i_am_the_jam 
//------------------------------//


√-1          √-1          √-1



An Imaginary Bully


The following afternoon, Imaginary stepped out of his house, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply the cool air, mixed with a gentle rain that—

“Rain?” he suddenly said, teleporting a calendar in front of him. “Today is Wednesday?”

[ZOOOOM—CRASH!!!!]

Rainbow Dash suddenly crashed into his barrel—
That is, she almost crashed into his barrel. Despite having aimed for the stallion perfectly as he stood in front of his house, it seemed as if she flew right through him and then crashed on his front lawn.
Then Imaginary stepped out of his house again, and looked at the dishevelled mare as she groggily tried to get to her hooves.
“You’re…faster than you look…” she groaned. “How did you do that?”
The stallion seemed to ignore her question and replied with another question, “Dame Dash, today is Friday, not Wednesday. Why was my rain order delivered so early?”
She shook herself and extended her wings slightly. “That’s not your order! It’s just a stray rain cloud! I…um…it got away from the team and we didn’t notice it until now…and…I…uh…caught up with it just now and I tried to get you out of the way.”
Imaginary turned and saw that, indeed, it was only one small cumulus that was floating stationary 5 metres right above his front door. “Why, it seems you’re correct, Dame Dash. But as long as it’s only one cloud and you caught up with it, then there’s no harm done…um…you are okay, right? That hard landing didn’t give you any trouble?”
“No!” she replied indignantly, whipping her wings and hovering above the male once again. “It takes a Tartarus-of-a-lot more to get the best of Rainbow Dash!” she posed in mid-air.
He didn’t bother looking up. “So it does. Well, I trust that you’ll have that cloud taken care of promptly. And thank you for going through the trouble of trying to help me all the way out here. I hope you have a nice day.” Imaginary charged his horn again—
“WAIT!!! I also want to know—!!!”

[WINK!!!]

“—where…were you…on Nightmare Night…oh, buck it!” she groaned. Rainbow ascended a bit more, and looked around the area; very much confirming what he had told Pinkie Pie yesterday at the library. “So he does technically live in the Canterlot District…too bad his house isn’t 100 metres closer to Ponyville, otherwise Pinkie Pie wouldn’t have any problems giving him a party. But how did he do that trick and have me fly right through him—?”
Then, she remembered:

“…my ILLUSIONS and shields and teleporting are impressive…”

Rainbow Dash face-hooved herself. “Well, DUH! He just cast an illusion!! But why is he friendly only with his family, but not with the rest of us?” As she pondered on that question, she flew up to the rain cloud and pushed it back to Ponyville.


√-1          √-1          √-1


[WINK!!!]

Imaginary rematerialised near the schoolhouse this time, again to pick up his nephew and teleport him home. However, being Friday, he noticed that the foals had already left the schoolhouse and many of them were at the nearby park to wait for their parents there, and they decided to play there in the meantime. The stallion shrugged and headed for the park, but as he did, he noticed the start of an altercation.

Two fillies had just arrived at the park: one was pink with a white and lavender mane and tail, sporting a silvery tiara on her head and flanks, and the other was a grey mare with light gray mane and tail, with highlights, she sported turquoise spectacles and a matching necklace, and her cutie mark was an elaborate silver spoon.
And they were currently taunting the rest of the foals:

“Well, well, well! A blank flank convention! Don’t these babies all look adorable with their flanks completely bare, Silver Spoon?”
“Yeah! I hope they brought their diapers in case they have an accident! Oh, look, the babies are going to cry!!!”

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara laughed, until they heard a colt yell, “HEY!!!”

They looked up, and saw a brown pegasus colt with a black mane and tail hovering just above them. “Go back to Canterlot where you belong!!!” he yelled.
Diamond Tiara scowled at him and replied, “We don’t live in Canterlot, you stupid blank flank! We both live in our mansions here in Ponyville, right, Silver Spoon?”
“Right!”
The colt scoffed, “Yeah, right. Then why don’t you go back to your fancy boarding school for snobs??”
“We go to school here, you dummy! Are you such a blank flank that even your brain has trouble keeping up with your wings?” asked Silver Spoon.
The pegasus suddenly landed, looking quite confused, “What? You go to school here?”
“So you’re not just stupid, you’re deaf too?”
For a moment, the pegasus colt seemed unsure of what to make of Diamond Tiara’s question, and after a while, he turned to the other foals and asked them, “Hey! Are you all sure they’re the daughters of Filthy Rich and Hefty Pockets?”
All the foals replied with a less than enthusiastic, “…yeah…”
Diamond Tiara stomped and growled, “Of course they’re our fathers! They’re the richest ponies in Equestria!”
The pegasus colt blinked at them, as if analysing their statements, and then asked, “But…they make you go to school…here?”
“Do you have a problem with where we go to school, you stupid blank flank?”
“No, but I’m wondering why you don’t have a problem with where your parents are making you go to school, if they’re so rich…”
“HEY!” blurted Silver Spoon, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The colt just looked at her, and then he suddenly hovered and laughed, turning to the others, “It’s okay, guys! They can’t do anything to us!”
“What do you mean by THAT???!!!” yelled Diamond Tiara. “My father has enough money to buy you and your families out of Ponyville!”
The colt just kept on laughing, as the rest of the foals began approaching the newcomer and the bullies. This had certainly caught their attention.
“WHAT’S SO FUNNY???!!!” the bullies yelled.
Calmly, the colt landed once more and said, “S—sorry, but it’s just so funny how your parents have fooled you for so long…”
“‘FOOLED’??? You’re the only fool here, you miserable blank flank!!!”
The colt didn’t flinch at Diamond Tiara’s shout. He just trotted around them and explained, “Hey, it’s not your fault that you didn’t see this at all. But think about it, and think reeeeeeeeeeal carefully…” he stopped in front of them, and said in an almost-whisper, “If your parents are as rich as they say they are…then why are they making you go to school in a poor…tiny…run-down schoolhouse filled with so many ponies you do not want to hang around with?”

The bullies suddenly fell silent.

“Why are they making you go to school here, instead of those big fancy schools in Canterlot? Or even in Manehatten?”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon could not answer that.

The colt pressed on, “So I can see only two answers for that: either your parents don’t think you’re worth spending all that money in a fancy school—maybe they think the two of you are too stupid to get in—or…” he paused, “…they’re not as rich as they say they are and the school in Ponyville is the only one they can afford—”
“MY FATHER IS RICH!!! I LIVE IN A MANSION!!!” yelled Diamond Tiara.
“I LIVE IN A MANSION TOO!! IT’S RIGHT OVER THERE, BLANK FLANK!!!” Silver Spoon furiously pointed at a rather large building some distance away from the park, but the colt didn’t even blink at it.
“So? You may live in a mansion, but that doesn’t mean your parents actually own it. For all we know, your parents could be working for two rich ponies, who are very kind—unlike you two—and very generous so as to not allow two fillies—even ones as ugly as you—to live on the streets because your parents are so poor that they can’t afford to live anywhere. For all we know, your parents only take care of the mansions and some of the business of their bosses and it is them who let you live in their mansions!”
Before Diamond Tiara could come up with a retort, Apple Bloom suddenly added, “Hey, that’s raght! Mah Granny Smith said that th’ Rich family started a lot o’ business deals with Sweet Apple Acres, but now that Ah think about it, Ah’ve never seen yer dad or his ‘servants’ at th’ farm doin’ business with mah brother or mah sister or mah Granny! And yew know that none o’ mah family has never gone t’yer mansion, Diamond Tiara!”

The bully in question was speechless.

“So for all we know, you ugly, miserable bullies, Apple Bloom could be way richer than you, mostly because she actually owns land.”
“NO!” yelled Diamond Tiara, almost in tears. She trotted rapidly in place, frantically trying to think of a counter-argument, and suddenly, her face brightened. She smiled maliciously and growled again, pointing at her head, “My tiara!! It has real diamonds! And it’s in sterling silver, too! AND IT’S WORTH MORE THAN ALL THOSE STUPID APPLE TREES OF YOURS—!!!”

[WHAP!!!]

The tiara fell to the ground, courtesy of a stealthy wing slap, courtesy of the pegasus colt. Diamond Tiara was about to whine and complain and demand that he pick it up again, but what she saw made her freeze.
“Is it?” he asked, holding one hoof over it, ready to stomp on it. “If it really is real silver and real diamonds, then that means I’m going to get really hurt if I stomp on it, right?”
“You wouldn’t dare…” the bullies growled, still frozen where they stood.
“Why are you so afraid, Diamond Tiara?” he asked with hooded eyes. “If this tiara is real silver and diamonds, then I’ll hurt myself and you can go back to calling me and everypony else here whatever insult you can think of. Of course, your dad told you that this is real silver and diamonds, right? He’d never lie to you, just like he never lied about you being poor and living in somepony else’s house, right?”
“Give me back my tiara!!” Diamond Tiara took one step forward.

[CRACK!!!]

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gasped, taking two steps back.
The pegasus colt lifted his hoof.
Pieces of the tiara fell from his appendage, in silver-like and crystal-like pieces.

The colt took a closer look, “Wow…plastic…and glass…who would have ever thought?” He suddenly turned to the bullies, “And that means that you two are only two…miserable…ugly…poor fillies.”

The bullies took another step back.

“…poor fillies…” he repeated.

The bullies backed away slightly faster.

“…poor fillies…” Apple Bloom joined in.

Diamond Tiara was about to start crying.

“…poor fillies…” Now Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle added their voices.

Silver Spoon tripped on a rock and scrambled to get on her hooves again.

The entire group of foals began to chant, “Poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…poor fillies…”

They weren’t loud, or even in harmony, there were just in unison.
But it was enough to make the bullies turn tail and run away, bawling their eyes out.

The brown pegasus colt let all the other foals run ahead of him. As soon as they did, the image of the colt shimmered and disappeared.

Imaginary stealthily de-cloaked himself behind a bush, near his nephew, who had been standing at a distance from the altercation.
Pip Squeak saw him, walked up to him and said, “Uncle Imaginary, that was mean!”
He sighed, “I know, Pip, but from what Mr. Apple and his little sister told me, combined with everything you told me at dinner last night, what I did here was nothing compared to what those two bullies have done to just about every filly and colt in the school, including you. Do you think they deserved it?”
Pip thought for a moment and then smiled, “YEAH!!”
“It should calm down those two for a while. If the problem persists, I’m afraid I’m going to have to send a rather poignant letter to the Ponyville Board of Education concerning their bully policy…”
“But did you ‘ave to break Diamond Tiara’s tiara?”
The two walked to the centre of the park, as the other foals eventually got tired of taunting the apparently destitute bullies. “To be honest with you, I’m surprised I didn’t need to use an illusion to break it. It really was made of plastic and glass. I also wasn’t expecting Apple Bloom to help out the way she did, either, so that was a shot in the dark, believe me…”

Imaginary trailed off when he saw his two best friends approach, and as they did, their young relatives approached as well. Apple Bloom bounded up to Big Macintosh, and Featherweight hovered in front of Bulk Biceps.
“Hiya, big brudder!”
“Daddy!!!”
The unicorn smiled, “Good afternoon, gentlecolts…and family thereof. I see we all were drafted into picking up our charges from school today.”
“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh nuzzled his sister a bit, then with a quick movement of his muzzle, he gently tossed Apple Boom on his back. “Yew’re ready f’r th’ auction tomorrow?”
Imaginary sighed as he tossed his nephew on his back with his magic. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose. Is formal wear mandatory, though?”
Featherweight simply hovered for a moment and perched himself on his father’s back, who replied, “Not that I know of, but it might help in getting higher bids.”
Apple Bloom laughed at that, “Yeah, well, Ah doubt mah brudder here will need that! An’ he’s even gonna help out th’ orphanage even more by matching!”
Bulk turned to Macintosh, “Matching what?”
Imaginary suddenly realised what the filly meant, “Wait, matching? You’re going to match whatever is bid on you and donate it to the orphanage?” The earth pony stallion nodded silently. “Wow, Mr. Apple, I’m surprised that you didn’t end up being chosen as the Element of Generosity instead of Dame Belle.”
Macintosh chuckled, “Ah might have been, if Ah had known that A.J. had run off with her friends that night. ‘Sides, we had a good year, an’ we’re even settin’ up Granny Smith’s hip operation in Canterlot next month.”
Imaginary laughed and stomped on the ground, “Mr. Apple, I think we all know the real reason why your farm is debt free and why you’ve been able to rebuild your barn several times now even when your insurance company bailed out on you. And it’s not because of your bumper crop.”
The red stallion snorted, “Don’t yew say it…”
The unicorn smiled, “Why? Is it a crime to exploit your talents? Or more exactly, your good looks?”
“Ah ain’t exactly proud o’ whut Ah did, yew know…”
“Why not? You were just hired to appear in a soap commercial, say a few lines with a very deep voice…and now you’re raking in royalties left and right.”
Macintosh pressed his forehead against Imaginary’s, “An’ it would have been all raght if’n it weren’t f’r every single unattached mare beggin’ f’r my autograph when they recognize me!”
The unicorn gave a fake sigh as he turned away, “Sadly, ‘tis the price of fame. I hear Dame Fluttershy still has a few problems with fans who remember her from her brief modelling stint. Lucky for her she has five other knights watching out for her…”
Macintosh fumed for a moment, and was about to calm down, but just as Imaginary was walking away, he whistled a very familiar melody.
“WHY, YEW…” The earth pony snorted and charged at the unicorn, but his target winked away with the pinto colt just when he was about to get run over. Macintosh snorted again while his sister giggled, and he stomped back to Sweet Apple Acres.
Bulk Biceps shrugged, and flew off, carrying his son with him.

In another sector of the Ponyville sky, a cyan pegasus mare had been watching most of the above scene after she arrived with a stray rain cloud.
“So he does have plenty of friends, even though he still treats them a bit formally…but why is he so reserved against the rest of us…?”