Richard Pound
In:
You Only Live Twice
Written by: Green Draft
It was raining; no one could see my tears. That is if anyone was around to see. No one cared for her anymore; that was painfully obvious. I felt for a pulse, it was faint… weak. I had called for the ambulance, it would be coming soon. I closed my eyes, thinking back on the times I’d had with her.
The first night we had met, it was… magical. I had been sitting at the bar, Barney’s. Slowly sipping whiskey, I saw her walk in. She was seductive, yet not overly so. My kind of woman. She saw me giving her an eye, she smiled and walked over. We talked, it had felt like hours and then we went back to my place.
Sadly, it didn’t look like that would be happening now, maybe ever if that ambulance didn’t come faster. She lay there on the ground, breathing weakly. Someone had hit her over the head as she was getting into her car. There wasn’t anything I could have done.
I’d found her there walking home from the bar i frequented. It’d been a good day, solved an important case, and made a lot of money. Three rounds for the bar had been enough for my wallet and I. The rain had started as I walked through the parking lot, she'd hated the rain. That’s when I saw her, and here I was. I kneeled down to her, feeling for her pulse one more time.
It was stable, I think.
“Where did you come from?” I muttered. I knew she wouldn’t respond. Her hair lay limply to her side. It had been so radiant that first time, and all the times afterwards. Now, it made me sick. Sick to see it lie on the dirty pavement. I held back the tears; they blurred my vision, making it hard to see. I thought I saw something her hand. I picked it up, turning to see the wrist. There was some sort of stamp. She must have been at a club. I heard the sirens of the ambulance screaming down the street. The red glow of the lights flaring up and down the buildings. I took one last look at the stamp, putting it to memory. It was time to take my leave.
It was going to be a long night.
“How ya’ doing, Dick?” asked Barney. He owned the pub, the Irish bastard. I crossed my arms on the countertop. He stood behind the bar; wiping the glasses he always seemed to be cleaning. I wanted to tell him that it was no use, the glasses were never clean.
“I’m doing well, Barn’. It’s Karen whose not doing too hot.” He raised his eyebrows. I hadn’t talked to him about Karen in a long time, at least not while sober. He put down the glass.
“Sorry ta’ hear that, Dick,” he said. “What happened?” I told him what I thought.
“Now, where do you think I can find a club that uses that kind of mark?” I asked. He looked away, scratching his head. He was a balding man in his thirties. He stood tall, perhaps 6’5”, no one messed around in his bar, not unless they wanted their head knocked around.
“I think I might know a place, but it’s not walking distance to that parking lot.”
“Maybe she got a ride. Where's the place, Barney?” He told me. It was twenty miles from the parking lot. Why go so far away in someone else’s car, I wondered. “Thanks, Barney.” I turned to go, but he stopped me.
“Dick, I know what you two went through. It’s okay to ask for help in this.” His face was sympathetic, yet his voice felt forced. I only nodded. I had to hit the clubs.
The streetlights passed by, each illuminating the car briefly. The rain still pounded on the windshield, making it hard to see. The wipers could do only so much.
What Barney had said, it brought up painful memories. No, I snapped my attention back to driving, it was hard enough while thinking about it, and I couldn’t just drift off. Yet the happier times called me. The time we had that picnic together, spring of ’53. It had been in that park, the one near her house. Neighborhood kids were still playing, the birds singing, and the bees still buzzing. We laid there on the cloth, holding the other’s hands, looking into the other’s eyes.
A horn blared, bringing me back to driving. I put more on the gas, speeding up. These people were still going twenty over, even in this monsoon. That word brought me back. Summer of ‘55, things were going peachy. Karen and I were as happy as we ever were, at least I was. We both lay on the couch, staring as the rain poured down the windows, covering all of L.A. in water. She was resting her head on my shoulder, her wonderful hair falling to my belt.
Another horn, I quickly jerked the wheel. Too fast I guess. My car slammed into the car in the next lane. I bounced back, the front grinding into the concrete divider. I felt strange, weightless. The car was flipping over the barrier. I tried to cover my face, my head. I didn’t want this, this couldn’t be happening. The ground rose up to meet me, but not from the right side. The last thing I heard was the crushing of the roof. The last thing I felt was pain, lots of it too.
Chapter Two
“How far the rabbit hole goes…”
It was bright, far brighter than L.A. had ever been. That was the first thing I noticed. I tried to cover my eyes, but my hands… they didn’t work the way they had been. My head wracked with pain. I felt like I was getting run over. I tried to stay calm, find my surroundings.
I was lying on some grass, in a forest. That sure was helpful. The sky was sunny, not a cloud in sight. Looking around, I tried to get up. I fell over onto my back. I noticed something wrong.
I wasn’t any sort of human. I had hooves, a light brown coat. I was a horse I suppose.
“Gotta stay calm, Dick. This is clearly a dream,” I said out loud. What did I remember? I remembered rain. Sheets of rain pouring from the sky, I was driving fast too. Then, I blacked out. I tried getting up again, settling myself on my new appendages.
“This sure is… strange,” I mumbled. I looked around. All I could see were trees, trees for miles. Perhaps I could climb one, take a look from the top. I walked up to one, tentatively putting my fore hooves to the bark. The first branch was just out of reach for a good jump. I slammed a hoof into the tree in frustration. It shook, I was stronger now.
“Is anyone out here?!” I yelled to the general vicinity. A squirrel ran up a tree. A few birds dislodged and flew away. I hate this place already. I missed home, everything here was, what’s the word? Oh yeah, vibrant. Colors stood out much more than I had noticed. Everything was much clearer. I started walking, I don’t know which way, but it just felt right. The forest was relatively empty. No people or ponies for that matter. My subconscious must be really boring.
A small, white rabbit leapt through the bushes. It nearly ran into my left hoof before it stopped. It ran right under me, continuing on its way. I heard a voice from the bushes.
“Angel? Where did you go? It’s dinner time, if you want…” it trailed off meekly. That was probably the least impressive voice I’d ever heard. I heard her walking through the bushes. She stopped when she saw me. She hopped back a step and squeaked. It was another pony, yellow with a pink mane. I saw a strange bulge on her sides. Where those wings?
“Hello there. I’m Richard. Uh, where am I?” I asked her. I think she nearly fainted.
“Oh, uh, I’m Fluttershy. You’re in the forest. Didn’t you know that, uh, Richard.” She wasn’t looking at me, instead appearing to be intrigued more in the ground than anything else. She didn’t appear to be saying anything else either.
“Well, thanks Fluttershy. Do you know how I could get out of here? I’m in a lot of pain, and it sucks here to be frank.” She starting shaking, raising a hoof to point behind her. That must be where she came from. A thought struck me. “If you’re looking for that silly bunny, he ran that way.” I turned back, pointing to where it’d gone.
/*I turned back to Fluttershy. Gone was the timid pony that’d look anywhere but at Richard. She was livid.
“Angel is not stupid! You’re stupid! Aaagh!” She leapt into the air, they were wings. She swooped at me knocking me to the ground. I was going to die here! “Take it back!” she screamed at my face.
“Ok! Ok! I take it back, I’m sorry.” I said hurriedly. She calmed down, her wings sticking back to her sides. She took a step off me.
“Sorry about that. I just love little Angel. He’s my friend.” She said, her voice back to the timid Fluttershy. Clearly, she was crazy.
“Alrighty then. I’m just going to get out of this forest. Maybe I’ll see you around.”*/ I started a trot in the direction she’d pointed me. It didn’t take long to find where she’d come from.
It was a nice town. The sign said Ponyville. It was a quaint little thing, too. Ponies were crawling all over the damn place. This dream was awful. I started my way in, needing to wake up; this was getting lame. The ponies saw me and waved. I gave little waves or nods back. Why were they so damn friendly? Some pony stood out in the crowd. A pink pony with a frizzy mane and tail stood bouncing up and down the streets. I must have made a wrong move or something, because she saw me and went crazy. She started bounding over to me.
“Oh hell no,” I said under my breath. I turned around and ran away from it. She was fast however, very fast. I felt her weight land on my back, throwing me to the ground. I let out a grunt, my body still hurting from the forest. Fluttershy hadn’t helped either.
“Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie; I don’t think I’ve met you before! Are you new?” her voice was young and full of energy.
“You could say that… Look, can you get off me please? I’m hurting kind of bad.” I said, into the dirt more than anything.
She gasped, “I’ll get my friend to help you!” She got off my back and ran off down the street. I gingerly got up on my hooves. Clearly I was going to die from these mares. I started to walk down the street once more. A few ponies were laughing at what had happened. I suppose, yeah, it was funny. It was hurting pretty bad to walk when I saw the pink pony, Pinkie Pie, bounding up once more. She had a small, purple pony in tow. The purple one was not enthused to be with Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was practically screaming as she talked to the purple one.
“I found a new friend, Twi! He said he’s hurt, can you look at him?! I can’t have a hurt pony at a party!” she bounded that last few feet to me. “Here he is!”
“Hello, I’m Twilight, I’m also sorry about Pinkie, she gets excited.” Said the purple one. She looked at Pinkie with disapproval.
“It’s ok, Twilight. I’m Richard. Where am I?” she looked at me with apprehension. She came stood in front of me, closer, giving me a look over. She started to feel around my head.
“Oh, Pinkie said you were hurt. She didn’t say you had amnesia.” She explained. “Does this hurt?” she asked while she poked around my head.
“Yeah, stop poking my head.” She got back on her four hooves. She gave me a quizzical look.
“You feel fine? You don’t remember anything.” She said flatly. I thought back. There was driving car, and then here, as a pony.
I shook my head, “Well, I just woke up in the forest. It seemed alright. Everything hurt, and I’m not sure why.” She grabbed my hoof.
“I know just the thing to help.” She led me across town, to what appeared to be a building in a tree. I walked inside. The building was lined with books. Books in stacks, books on walls, and books in the doorways, windows, EVERYWHERE!
“Dear god… the books.” I murmured. She merely turned to me.
“I know right? Isn’t it great?” She led me to her couch and had me lie down. “Now I’m going to use some magic to help you get your memory back. Ok?” Magic? Yeah, ok. Whatever you say, crazy.
I tried raising my head to speak but she put it back against the arm rest. I gave her a worried look.
“It’s ok to be scared. Twilight’s going to take care of you.” She said sweetly. I saw the horn on her head glow slightly. I hadn’t noticed it before, that sure was something. I felt something warm cover my body. The pain slowly went away. I started smiling.
“Hey, this is working. The pain is gone.” I said. Her horn grew brighter. I felt the warmth go
north, up to my head. Turns out the pain hadn’t gone, it only moved. I started thrashing around on the couch. It was excruciating. Like a thousand burning needles in my skull. I felt consciousness slip away. The room starting spinning. I heard screaming, was she upset? My vision started to turn black.
Chapter III
“Welcome to the real world, jackass.”
I felt numb. It was hard
to think. I looked around. I was in a comfy bed, not the couch. Why would I be in a couch, I thought, that was a dream. I tried to give a small chuckle, but it came out muffled. My jaw was set. I looked around frantically. My of my body was in a cast. Only one leg lay bare. It looked lonely. I must be in a hospital. If only that Twilight had brought me here. I gave a chuckle on the inside.
I felt the numbness go away, slowly. Pain replaced it. I was getting awfully tired of all this pain. I tried to call out. Next to no sound came out. One of the systems net to me started beeping. The IV that connected it to me began to fill up with a clear substance. It hit my arm. Everything started to feel pretty… goooood…
“Oh hell.” I was awake, the pain was back. Where’s the morphine? I looked around. That purple pony, Twilight, was sleeping on the floor next to the couch. She had been crying. Tears stained the floor beneath her. I was back on that couch. At least I wasn’t in a cast here.
“Hey, hey you. Twilight, wake up.” I said to her. Her ear twitched. I sat up on the couch; it felt strange, but not uncomfortable. I gave her a poke with my hoof. She was startled awake.
“Wha- Oh! Richard, you’re alright. Phew. I was worried.” She got up, stretching her back. She sat on the couch next to me. I saw her tuck her hooves under her, looked comfortable. “So, do you remember anything?”
I thought back. I remember before the crash now. “Yeah, I was trying to find Karen. No, not Karen, the guy who hit her.” Her eyes popped wide.
“Oh,” she exclaimed, her voice wavered, “Who’s Karen? Is she your very special somepony?” “My what? No, I don’t think so. We haven’t been together in years.” She sighed. It seemed somewhat full of relief.
“Alright. I’ve never heard of a Karen in Ponyville before, it’s a strange name. Not like Twilight, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Twilight Sparkle’s a cute name,” it was, I thought, “but I’ve got to get out of this dream now.” She started blushing.
“Oh, Richard, you’re too much.” I rolled my eyes, taking care for her not to see. She must be crazy. Was she coming on to me? It was too soon to tell. “Where are you staying in Ponyville? You have a place to stay right?”
I shrugged, “nope.” She bit her lower lip. The pause was long, and awkward.
“Do you know anypony you could ask?”
Another shrug, “nope.” She just nodded her head.
“Well ok then. You can stay here for tonight, I suppose. Goodnight, Richard.” She got up, trotting to the stairs. I watched her walk up the stairs. She was awfully cute. For a pony, I corrected. She finally turned at the top, trotting out of my sight.
I turned back on the couch, lying back down. The couch wasn’t bad at all, actually very comfortable. What was wrong with this pony? Perhaps she was falling in love with me. No, this was just a dream. Clearly I must be crazy. That thought carried into sleep.
“Morning, Richard.” I awoke to Twilight standing next to me. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get them to focus right.
“Morning, Twilight,” I muttered. I turned and got off the couch. She had been awfully nice to let me stay the night; I decided to offer her something Richard Pound did best.
Cook breakfast.
“Hey, would you like me to make you breakfast?” I offered. She scuffed her hoof on the floor.
“Oh, thanks! I don’t really have anything I’m afraid. I’ve got to go shopping later. We could go out though.” That was trouble; I didn’t have my wallet with me.
“Oh, well. I don’t really have any money…” I trailed off. Her demeanor did not diminish.
“That’s ok. I’ll cover it.” I couldn’t help but let her. She was stopping my every attempt. “I know a great place, let’s go.”
Breakfast had been good, not cheap at all. We were walking alone the streets of Ponyville. We were making small talk.
“So, Richard. How’d you wind up in the forest?” she asked.
“I was in an accident, after that I was just here.”
“That’s sad, and you don’t have a place to stay?” I shook my head.
Her net thought was interrupted as an orange pony called her name. The pony had blonde hair in a ponytail. She wore a cowboy’s hat.
“’Ay Twilight, What’s goin’ on?” asked the pony. She had three apples on her flank.
“Oh, nothing Applejack. Just showing Richard around town.” The two got to talking about matters from town. Everyone here was so friendly. It was awfully strange.
“Hey, Applejack, you always need help right?”
“That’s right!” proclaimed Applejack.
“Do you think Richard could work for a place to stay?” asked Twilight. Applejack gave me a look over.
“’Ah don’t know. He doesn’t look strong.”
I butted in, “I’m strong enough. You can’t walk L.A. at night without being strong.” She shrugged.
“Alright, Richard. Let’s get you started today. It’s apple season.”
¬¬¬ I stood in front of the tree. It looked awfully strong and thick.
“Alright, Dick. Just give it a real strong kick. That should dislodge the apples and put them in the baskets.” Applejack explained. I nodded, it was only kicking trees. I turned around, seeing her giving me an examining glance. I gave the hardest kick I could manage. Two apples fell from the tree.
“Oh come on!” I yelled.
“Now don’t get mad at the tree,” she said calmly. “Not everypony is cut out for farm work.” I knew I was cut for this work. I gave another kick, then another. I kept kicking that damn tree. Trying to make all the apples fall. Harder and harder my legs kicked. I felt a twinge in my leg, and then soreness came.
“Guh.” I burst out. Real eloquent, Dick. I fell to the ground, cradling my leg.
“Yeah, Ah’m not sure this will work. Perhaps you can carry the apple baskets with Applebloom.”
So there I was spending the day carrying buckets of apples across the farm. It was grueling. I had something to do in the barn. It didn’t get done however, as I promptly fell down in a pile of hay, quickly passing out.
Chapter IV
“You think this is some sort of game?”
“Mr. Pound, I see you’re awake.” A nurse stood in front of my hospital bed. I shook myself from the dreams. “It’s time to discuss your bill.” Uh-oh. “Now, six months in the hospital is not cheap I’m-“
I cut her off, “Six month!? How could it have been six months?” she was taken aback.
“You were in a coma Mr. Pound. Now, the total comes to $100,000.” The air from my lungs emptied. 100k? I didn’t make the much in a year, hell, 5 years. Damn it, what am I going to do?
My apartment was dirty. Letters piled themselves in front of the mail slot. I looked through them, they were bills. I had until the end of the month to pay off more than a year’s salary. I lay on my bed, wondering the next course of action. Perhaps I should go to Barney’s; he’d know what to do.
“How ya’ doing, Dick? It’s been awhile since I saw your ass in here. The women been asking for ya’.” Barney was the same old Barney.
“Listen ya’ Irish bastard, I got out of the hospital. I’ve got bills out the ass.” I slumped down on the bar top. “What am I going to do?”
“Don’t know, Dick. Marry a rich woman.” He laughed.
“Heh, know any?”
“Only Karen.”
“Oh, shit,” I forgot about her! “How is she?” I asked hurriedly.
He smiled, “She’s fine, Dick. She only had a concussion.” I leaned back, breathing a sigh of relief. Barney reached under the counter, bringing up an old bottle of whiskey. He got two shot glasses. Placing one in front of me, he filled it up. “Let’s get you ready for the scene tonight, Dick. Gotta get ya’ a woman.” I shot it back. They kept coming. It wasn’t long until I was passed out drunk.
“Wake up, ya’ lazy pony.” I felt a weak kick to my side. I jolted my eyes open. Applejack stood next to me a bucket of apples on her back. I was back in the barn; I hoped this wouldn’t be a common occurrence.
“What happened?” I asked, groggy from the sleep. Applejack bucked the bucket over to me. I flailed it away. The bucket crashed to the floor, apples tumbling out.
“’Ah’ll tell ya’. Ya’ll are a lazy pony. I don’t think there’s a job for ya’ here.” I groaned.
“Why do I even need a job? What’s wrong with me?” Applejack scoffed.
“This ain’t no dream, sugarcube. Perhaps Ah’ll see ya’ around town.” She walked out of the barn. Well, this sucked. I couldn’t even hold a job in my own mind! I should go see Twilight, She always seemed too happy to see me, and that felt nice. I got off of the hay bale, shaking the loose strands free from my coat.
“Hey, Twilight. I’ve got a small problem.” She looked up from her dusting. She had been cleaning the book shelves. She had cute reading glasses on. Cute? What the hell.
“Yes, Richard?” she asked.
“The whole Applejack thing didn’t pan out. I was wondering if perhaps you could give me a job or something…” I trailed off. I didn’t look at her face, too ashamed to face her. I heard the sound of her hooves as she trotted up to me.
“Sure I do, Richard. I’ll help anypony out when they need it.”
I scuffed my hoof on the floor, “Thanks, Twilight. I appreciate it.” She put a reassuring arm on my back.
“It’s nothing really. You can sleep in one of the side rooms. You can start by dusting the shelves.” She used magic to pass me the duster. Magic! Still such a strange thing. Was I three?
I picked it up, running it along the shelves of the house. Twilight started to pick up the stacks of book, putting one or two in the shelves here and there. I turned back to the task and hand, I wasn’t about to mess up the second job in one day.
“Dick, I’m going to lunch with Rarity,” Twilight announced. I turned away from my job. Twilight stood at the door with another pony like her. A unicorn I think. She was white, with a purple mane. She left, closing the door with her magic.
“Time to relax,” I declared, sitting down on the couch. But what to do, I pondered. I spotted a book next to me, looking all innocent. I picked it up, glancing through it. It appeared to be a book on Equestria’s history. I had heard Twilight mention that name during work. It must be the country here. The book seemed awfully detailed for something I made up. The pages were well-worn from many readings. I put the book back down with a heavy thump.
The clock on the wall said it was around 1 in the afternoon. Twilight wouldn’t be back for an hour or so, with that Rarity pony. Did Twilight have any male friends? Seems odd. I lay back down on the couch. This was pretty boring. Dusting and organizing a library? It had made me tired however. I felt my eyelids grow heavy as I looked at Twilight’s ceiling. It was painted to be some sort of stylized sun. It was the last thing I saw as I slipped into a restful sleep.
“Get the fuck out, Dick.” Barney was yelling at me. Why was he yelling at me? I looked around. I was in his bar. Some chick had her hands up to her chest, shrinking away from me. What was her problem? I felt a strong pair of hands grab onto my shoulders, pulling me back.
“What the hell, Barney?” my voice was slow and garbled. I was drunk.
“You damn drunk, I thought you were better than this!” Barney was screaming at me. I was picked up by the strong hands, and thrown from the bar. The asphalt scrapped against me as I skidded in the parking lot. Only a few glares were shot my way before the brutes closed the door to the bar. I stumbled back onto my feet.
“What the hell was that about?” I mumbled. Barney took a step out of the bar. He had great sorrow in his eyes. He stepped up next to me.
“Dick, what the hell if wrong with ya’? She said no,” he told me calmly.
“She said no? To me? Pfft, clearly she’s drunk.” His face turned to disgust.
“Dick, you’ve changed.”
“No, you’ve changed! I don’t need this shit.” I turned from him, waving away his outstretched hand. I started the walk back home, somewhere people couldn’t judge me.
The apartment was the same as always. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the shelf. I hadn’t kept the stuff around here for a long time. Since Karen, she had hated the stuff. I had bought the bottle when she left me. It had sat there, tempting me. Now was as good a time as any to drink it, I thought. I downed a good 5 more shots until the floor said it was time to stop.
This wasn’t the couch, which was for sure. I was in a bed, red blanket. Back in Twilight’s library. It must have been nearing dawn. I left out a yawn, stretching my hooves. My right hoof knocked into something soft and warm. I turned around in the bed. Twilight slept softly behind me. I reeled back in my hooves, keeping real quiet. I hoped that I hadn’t woken her, but I was let down. She turned around, we were face to face. She rubbed my nose with hers affectionately.
“Morning, Richard.” She said sweetly. What was I doing here, I asked myself, and why didn’t she care?
“Uh, morning, Twilight.” I said.
“About last night…” she trailed off. Please let her finish, I thought. “I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks since you showed up and already we’re together.” Together? Oh boy.
“Yeah, I know what you me- Two weeks?” I asked, stunned.
She nodded, “Yeah, you’ve been so sweet and romantic. I thought you seemed rough around the edges, but you turned out to be a really great stallion.” Oh god, two weeks? What the hell had happened? I rolled out of bed. “Where are you going, Richard?”
“Me? Oh, nowhere really. Just want to stretch my legs.”
“Well, don’t forget you promised to help Roseluck today,” She mentioned.
“I what?” I asked, stunned.
She gave a small sigh, “You’re awfully forgetful, Richard. Don’t you remember what your cutie-mark means?”
“My what?” I asked, still stunned. She furrowed her eyebrows.
“Cutie-mark. Everyone’s got one.” She pointed at her flank. A picture of a few stars was there. I turned my head to look at my flank. Emblazoned on my thigh was the picture of a badge.
“Well how about that, I’m a detective. So, uh, what did Roseluck want me to do?”
“She wanted you to figure out who keeps taking her flowers during the night,” Twilight said. I nodded as Twilight got out of the bed.
“Where can I meet Roseluck?” I asked. Twilight rolled her eyes.
“You’d think someone as smart as you would know everypony by now. Do you want me to take you to her?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Twilight trotted over, giving me a small peck. She pulled back with a smile.
“Come on, she works at the gardens. Maybe we could get some flowers.” Twilight led the way.
“Augh! Who’s taking my flowers? You have to help me, Richard.” Roseluck was talking. She was a pretty pony. She had a two-toned red mane and a rose cutie-mark. Most of her flowers were still in the store, except for one bushel of ‘mums.
“Alright, Roseluck, it’s going to be ok. Now, do you know anybody-“ Twilight nudged into me.
“Anypony,” she said curtly.
“Yes, anypony. Do you know anypony who would want to take your flowers?” While she was deep in thought, I took a look around the store. The store wasn’t that big, two rows of flowers and a register at the back, and a door. The door handle look strangely dirty. I gave a closer look, it was awfully dirty.
I called back to Roseluck, “do you use this door often? The handle is dirtier than the plants.”
“No, I like to keep everything clean. I clean every night.” She said. I tested the handle, it was locked.
I turned back to her, “who has keys to this door?”
“Just me and my assistant, but he left a week ago. Why?” I think I’ve pieced it all together.
“Why did he quit?” I asked, hoping for the definitive answer I needed.
“He said he wanted to open his own store up. Right here in Ponyville, can you believe that?” Roseluck seemed out of luck, but not for long.
“I know the culprit, my dear. It was your assistant. In a fit of rage he took your flowers out of the back with the key.”
“Are you sure? It doesn’t seem like him.” Roseluck wasn’t having any of my ideas. Yet I knew who would be right in the end.
“Let me go over there and get some ‘mums. I’ll bring them back here.” I turned around and exited the store. There were only two flower stores in Ponyville; Roseluck’s and Potted’s. I had a feeling it was Potted’s. He had put up his store down the street from Roseluck, a ballsy move. He even had a similar sign as Roseluck.
The bell rang as I walked in. A pony at the back looked up from his book. His face brightened as he realized he had a customer.
“Welcome, welcome to Potted’s. I’m Potted Plant, what can I get for you today?” He was very excited, too excited for my tastes.
“I’d like to get some ‘mums please. For my girlfriend if you don’t mind.”
His muzzle scrunched up in confusion, “your what?”
I rebounded back, “Oh, my marefriend. Whoops.” I gave an awkward smile.
“Well, alright. I just got these this morning from my garden this morning.” He passed twenty over the counter. They were beautiful.
“These look great, thanks,” I said. He glowered.
“No problem. That will be twenty bits.” I handed him the bits. He nodded, happy at the prospect of getting money. As I walked out of the store, I noted that the flowers seemed to be wilting.
“Here are the flowers, Roseluck,” I said as I dropped the flowers. She gave them a close inspection. When she pulled her head back, she was horrified.
“There are my flowers! He took them?” I nodded. Twilight had left while I was out. “Well, I’m going to get the guards. Thank you, Richard. Keep the flowers as my thanks.” How great that I got to keep the flowers I paid for, I thought. I picked up the flowers and walked out of the store.
The town was in full bustle, ponies moving to shop and work. A few mares gave me jealous looks as I walked back to the library. In all my wanderings, I had made one note. The town had a lot more mares than stallions. Is this natural? A voice form above made me drop my train of thought.
“Hey, Richard. Who are those flowers for?” I looked up. A pony with wings was flying along. She was light blue with rainbow mane.
“Uh, I think they’re for Twilight.” I told her, mouthful of flowers.
“Aww, you’re so cute.” She flew off. Who was that and how did she know my name? I thought back to earlier. I had been here for two weeks. I must have met her then. I was nearing the library now. I saw Twilight tidying up the stairway. She spotted me approaching. Her mouth cracked a smile and she dropped the broom. She ran over, tackling me to the ground.
“Oh, Richard. You’re so sweet.” She kept kissing me over the flowers.
In a break between I said, “It’s no problem, Twilight. Pretty flowers for you.” She gave me a big hug.
“Aww, thank you, Richard, that was so thoughtful.” She picked herself off the ground, pulling me up with her magic. “Did everything go well with Roseluck?”
“Yeah, everything went well. It was her old assistant.” Twilight followed me into the library; she was levitating the flowers behind her. I lay down on the couch, stretching out.
After Twilight put the flowers in a vase she turned to me asking, “Let me get you something to drink.” I only mumbled in agreement. I closed my eyes, only intending to rest them.
Chapter V
Where was I? That was the question to answer. I felt hands grabbing me, tearing me from a bed.
“What the hell are you doing?” I screamed out, opening my eyes. A burly man, half-dressed, had his hands around my throat. I could feel my lungs calling for air as I choked and sputtered.
“You think you can have sex with someone’s wife? Do you?” The man was screaming. A woman who must have been his wife was cowering a corner, crying. I tried to throw a punch, but it landed weakly against his arm. My lungs were exploding on the inside.
“I’m going to kill you!” the husband yelled. The wife ran up, trying to push him. He dropped me to the floor, grabbing the wife. “Fuck you,” he screamed. His fist collided with her face, knocking her to the floor. I grabbed for my coat, grabbing my gun. He turned back to me.
“Who do you think you are?” he questioned. I pulled back the hammer, pointing the gun at his chest.
“I’m Dick. Who are you?” His anger turned to fear. His throat tightened, letting out a small gasp.
“What the hell, man? Don’t do that.” I got off the floor, taking precious breath. I made sure to keep the gun trained on him.
“You think you can choke a man just doing what he wants?” was that me talking? What was I doing here? “A man needs a little r-and-r.” I jabbed the gun forward, he tripped over himself, falling to the floor. Now the roles were reversed. I’d make this man pay. I pointed the gun to his head.
“Any last words?” I asked. He was shaking, he was afraid.
“I-I-, uh. Ju-just please… don’t.” I cut him off with a gunshot. His head bucked back from the impact. At least, what was left of it. Blood covered the floor. His wife screamed. I twisted the gun to her.
“What? Didn’t I do the right thing? He was a monster,” I told her. She was back to shrinking in the corner. She looked away from me, from the gore. Blood flowed from her nose and mouth, from the punch of her abusive husband. I took a step closer. Her cowering wails went to a higher pitch.
“Shut up,” I demanded, “be quiet.” She didn’t. The room got louder and louder as the cried. Someone was going to hear her! They were going to question! I pulled the hammer back one more time.
“Please, just be quiet…” I trailed off. She was blubbering, tears streamed down her face. Why couldn’t she see I saved her? I aimed the gun at her head, as I had the husband. Her gaze turned to the gun.
“Please…” she said weakly. I didn’t listen, as if I could even hear over all the noise. The room cleared with a gunshot. Finally, she was quiet. I could think!
What have I done? That was my first thought as I curled on my bed. I was hyperventilating. I could hear sirens scream through the streets. They were looking for me. Perhaps they would call me to find the murderer. Wouldn’t that be perfect? Every second I could hear the police knocking on my door.
I hadn’t left the apartment since I’d gotten back at noon. It hurt to think of this morning. Why had I done? That wasn’t me. That was the only explanation I could think of.
“What would Twilight think?” I asked out loud. I was thinking of Twilight? Why not? I wondered. She was perfect, nice, sweet, caring. Everything I could ask for.
“I should ask her what she thinks.” I reached into my nightstand, grabbing two familiar pills. I took them both, feeling the world slip away.
“Twilight, I need your help.” Twilight looked up from her book. It must have been only an hour since I had fallen asleep on her couch.
“What’s the matter, Richard? Bad dream?” she asked, voicing concern.
“Yeah, you could say that. In my dream, I did something awful. What does that mean?”
She gave a small chuckle, “Richard, it was just a dream, it doesn’t mean anything.” Just a dream? If only. She moved closer to me, our bodies together. “Dreams aren’t real, Richard.” She gave me a kiss on the forehead.
She was right, dreams aren’t real. But, what is the dream? I got off the couch. Twilight pouted.
“I’ve got plans for dinner tonight, for us. I’ll be back at six, be ready.” I told her.
“Ooh, what are you planning?” she asked in wonder. I gave sly smile.
“You’ll see.” I walked out of the library, I had things to do.
“Richard, this is so nice.” Twilight said. She wore a glimmering purple dress. She said Rarity had made it for her. I remembered Rarity, from the library.
“It will get better, trust me.” I told her back. The waiter came back, floating a wine glass filled with particularly special wine. I wasn’t sure if Twilight drank, but I hoped she wouldn’t mind. He placed two glasses in front of Twilight and I. Twilight reached out with magic picking up the cup and bringing it to her lips, but she stopped. With her magic she fished something out of the glass.
A ring.
“Richard, what is…?” She trailed off, shocked. I was on the ground, kneeling in front of her. The room was silent.
“Twilight, I know this may be sudden, but I’ve never been happier than when I am with you. Will you do the honor of marrying me?” I asked her, looking into her eyes. She brought her hooves to her muzzle, tearing up.
“Yes, Richard. I will.” I stood up, embracing her. The other patrons started clapping and cheering. I could feel myself tearing up from joy, joining Twilight. I don’t remember the rest of the night all that well.
Here I was, back at the apartment. There was a note slipped under the door.
We need to talk. – Barney.
That must mean they knew. They talked to Barney. Would he sell me out? Maybe he would; the Irish bastard would crumple for a dollar. I threw the note into the trash. It was probably a trap. The cops would be waiting for me to go to him. It wasn’t safe there. Only safe in my head.
What was I doing out here? I had to make wedding plans. I sat on the edge of my bed, grabbing two more sleeping pills from the nightstand. I had more important things to do.
¬¬¬ The smell of acrid smoke awakened me. I clambered out of bed and down the stairs. Fire? Here? I ran into the kitchen, but something made me stop. Twilight stood at the stove, throwing water onto the burning pans.
“What happened?” I asked, walking to the stove and turning off the burners. The fire lessened significantly. Twilight’s water stopped the rest of the fire.
“I was making breakfast. For us,” Twilight said, blushing.
“This isn’t exactly cooking. Have you read a cookbook?” I asked.
“Haha, very funny. I sent a letter to the princess telling her about the wedding. She said she’d take care of everything.”
“That’s good news,” I said. Twilight was practically dancing.
“Oh, I’m so excited!” she said excitedly. I was excited too. This was first for me. I pushed the memories of Karen aside. I wouldn’t let her ruin this, not again.
“I know, honey. It’s going to be awesome.”
She giggled, “You say awesome like Rainbow Dash.” Thankfully I had been able to meet all her friends for real. I now know who she was talking about.
“Well, I think I came up with it first.” I told her playfully.
“No way. That was probably the first word she learned.” She returned, equally playfully. I nibbled her ear as she squealed lightly, pushing me away. “Ok, seeing as breakfast probably isn’t happening,” she looked back at the still smoking stove, “let’s get breakfast with the gang.”
“Sounds good to me.” I told her.
“Let me go get them, you wait here.” Twilight scampered off to get her friends. I went to the atrium, sitting on the couch. I yawned, I was tired.
“No, you can’t go to sleep,” I told myself, “This is too important.” I got off the couch. No time to dream. No time to dream. That was my mantra. I paced the circular room, saying it over and over.
That’s how she found me.
Twilight walked in, all of her friends in tow; Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie.
“Eh, ya’ll ok, Dick?” asked Applejack. I snapped from my thoughts.
“What?” I asked dumbly.
“You were just pacing around!” said Pinkie Pie.
“Maybe he’s trying to stay fit,” added Rainbow Dash.
“Darling, if you need help staying fit, you should just ask me,” said Rarity.
“Girls, I was just thinking,” I explained.
“About what?” they asked.
“The wedding,” I lied.
“Isn’t he something?” asked Twilight.
“He’s adorable, like Angel,” said Fluttershy.
“Ah think he’s more like Winona adorable,” said Applejack.
“He may be like Winona in looks, but he’s slow like Tank,” added Rainbow Dash.
“Alright, let’s just get breakfast,” I suggested. They agreed. We took to the streets; walking to a place Rarity suggested. It was a quaint little restaurant. The waiter sat us in the corner, at a circular table where we could all sit together. Twilight and I sat together. I had my arm around her shoulder. The other five kept giving us looks.
“To be honest, Twilight, I didn’t think you’d be the first to marry,” said Rarity.
“Now don’t be rude, Rarity. Ah’m sure ya’ll get a husband sometime,” said Applejack. Rarity looked away, a little bit shamed.
“So when is it?” asked Fluttershy.
“Next week, I think,” I said.
“The princess said within the next two weeks,” Twilight remarked. Within two weeks? That was no time at all really.
“Well, I would be honored if you let me make your outfits,” offered Rarity. Twilight turned to her.
“That’d be great. Richard and I can come over and get measurements,” responded Twilight. Rarity beamed.
I went through the rest of breakfast in a daze, answering and talking automatically. I was lost in thought. Wondering about my future. What was I going to do with my life?
Rarity’s shop, boutique rather, was immaculate. She decided to measure me first, so I could let the two have girl talk. She used her magic to get that tape places I’d never imagine tape would go. It took only a minute, yet it felt like hours of standing and getting violated. I left Twilight and Rarity to discuss the wedding.
Outside the boutique stood a big, red pony. He stood in front of me. I tried to step around, but he blocked me. He was huge.
“Excuse me, but I have to go around…” I tried to tell him. Something landed on my back, throwing a bag over my head. It smelled sickly sweet… chloroform! I felt dizzy as I tried to buck off the bag. It held tight.
Everything was going slow, and numb. My bucking became weak. I felt myself fall to the ground, too tired to move. Last thing I felt was me getting picked up.
Chapter VI
The noon day sun shone brightly on my face. My flailing hands knocked over my bedside lamp, it crashed to the floor; shattering into a million pieces. My hands reached my chest, feeling it up and down. I was safe, in here, in my head. What happened? Who was taking me and why? I had to go back. I grabbed four more pills. I needed them to work fast.
I was in a strange room. Not too strange… no. It was the barn, Applejack’s barn. The big, red pony was throwing something in my face, tasted like whiskey. Everything was distorted. There were quite a few ponies in the room, many stallions. A few mares were in the room, dancing with the boys. No, not with. Dancing on the boys. I blinked slowly, hoping for my vision to correct itself.
“Ay… he’s… ‘p,” said the red one slowly. I tried to focus on him, it was hard. Another pony came up, he was a brown blob.
“Ho’… ‘ch… use?” he asked. His blob formed as he peered closer. Was he a doctor?
“Not much,” said Red. His voice was thick. He splashed more whiskey on my face. I coughed and sputtered, nearly retching.
“Stop it,” I said. Shapes began to clear up as the chloroform left me.
“Howdy, Richard,” said Red clearly, “M’ name’s Big Mac. Applejack’s brother. Welcome to your bachelor party.” So that was his name. The brown pony helped me up.
“Yes, Richard. Welcome! Mac and I put this little ‘shindig’ together. I’m the Doctor.” Said… the Doctor.
“The Doctor? That’s not a name,” I said. He shrugged.
“It’s what I’ve got. Now let’s get you having fun.” He waved over one of the dancers. She came over.
“What cha’ need?” she asked, eying the Doctor hungrily.
“My friend needs dance, stat.” she nodded sauntering up to me. She began a rhythmic dance against my southern states.
“I don’t think I,” I get cut off. Big Mac sticks a bottle of whiskey in my mouth, forcing me to drink.
“Come on, Richard. Have fun,” he chides me. My body’s caught in a civil war, the north thoughts fighting the pleasure of the south. The north won, throwing me deep into thought, away from the dancer. I hoped Twilight never found out. But then again, didn’t everyone have a bachelor party? I saw Mr. Cake chatting to some other men, sipping what looked to be like beer. He was here, happy. Mrs. Cake must be ok with this.
Twilight was different, or was she? Did I really know her to make the judgment? Probably not. The mare had gotten up and moved on. Big Mac was edging me towards the refreshment table. He passed a beer to me, popping off the cap. It fell with a heavy thud to the floor, he didn’t seem to notice. I tasted the beer, it was bitter.
I saw them all dancing, having a good time. Why can’t I have a good time? Perhaps I should let loose, let my guard down. What did I have to keep pure? Another one of the mares sidled up to me, rubbing cutie-marks. She gave me a look of curiosity.
“Hey there, big boy. I heard you’re getting married. How about letting loose?” she asked.
“I’m not sure about that. Never been good at letting loose.” She gave a small chuckle. She brought her head close, giving me a small peck on the lips. She pulled back slowly.
“Did that help?” she asked.
“No,” I said, pushing her away. I had to get out of here. She seemed hurt, but only a little until another stallion took her away. Where did they even find these girls? I walked outside of the barn, feeling the cold night’s breeze. The moon was high and bright. It illuminated the apple farm. The trees moved softly with the wind.
“I have to get back to Twilight,” I said to the wind. The Doctor stood next to me; I hadn’t even heard him move.
“You should have fun, Richard. Come on.” He said.
“Why? What would Twilight think?” I asked.
He laughed, “We asked Twilight if she minded. She was fine with it.”
I turned to him, “What? Really?” He nodded.
“She told me to make sure you didn’t sleep through it though. That was her one condition. Oh, also make sure he doesn’t get with any tramps. Sorry about that one.” Twilight said it was ok? Well then, I guess it couldn’t hurt too much. He handed me a beer. I took it.
“That was intense,” I say as I wake up. I look to my left and then to my right, nothing. Back at the apartment. My stomach roars with hunger, I ignore it. I had just gotten home to Twilight and was telling her about what happened. I grabbed pills.
“That was intense,” I say to Twilight who’s sitting on the chair. She’s reading a book while having orange juice in the morning. She smiles.
“Not too intense, right?” she asks coyly. I smile too.
“Not as intense as you,” I say, giving her a big kiss.
“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” she said. “The bed’s warm if you still want to sleep.”
“I’d rather lie here with you,” I said, curling up to her on the couch.
The days to the wedding passed uneventfully. Just hours of planning and readying. It was Friday when we left for Canterlot. Celestia had given us rooms in the castle for the occasion. It was the first time I’d seen her. She was majestic. She stood higher than even Big Mac and a flowing mane of radiant colors. Her voice seemed to be able calm anyone.
“Welcome, Richard. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said as she saw us, “and hello to you as well, my apprentice.” Twilight blushed.
“Thank you for doing this, princess. It means a lot to us,” said Twilight. I agreed.
“Twilight, this is a big day for you. Of course I’d help you two,” Celestia said. She signaled for stewards to show us to our room. We had one at the top of a spire. The view was amazing; I thought I could have seen Ponyville from it. Twilight as I had a few hours to kill and we killed them together.
“The wedding’s tomorrow. I can’t risk being sent back here,” I said, pacing the room.
“Should I take more pills?”
“No, you take too many, we will run out.”
“We’ll just get more. Why wouldn’t that work?”
“The need of pills is the problem.” I clutched my stomach, it roared in hunger. I walked into the bathroom, looking at the mirror. I looked like shit.
My skin was pale; my eyes look sunk-in. I must smell, I haven’t showered in days. I threw water into my face, it still looked bad. I had a coughing fit, blood splattered into the sink. I spit the rest out.
“What the hell, I can’t be sick now! I’ve got bigger things planned.” I went back to the bed. Taking four more of the magic pills, and then four again. This was going to be good.
I was roused awake by Twilight; she had my suit laid out on the bed.
“What?” I mumbled.
“Marriage time, hurry up,” she said, floating the clothes onto me. She gave me a look over. “You look good; now send in Rarity so I can get dressed too.” I walked out the door. Everypony stood outside, at least our five friends did.
“She wants to see you, Rarity,” I said. Rarity bustled by me, going inside. “What now?” I asked.
“Come with us,” said Pinkie Pie. The four of them lead me downstairs into the grand ballroom. It was magnificent. Grand tapestries hung from the ceiling. Grand ice sculpture lined the tables. Hundreds of chairs were set up.
“Do I know this many ponies?” I asked.
“The princess is bringing in everypony,” said Rainbow Dash, “it’s a royal affair.” Oh boy, I thought, this was going to be weird. Big Mac walked next to me.
“Ah hope ya’ don’t mind, but ya’ needed a best stallion and Big Mac obliged. That alright with ya’?” asked Applejack.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said.
“Wedding time,” Celestia’s voice boomed. Ponies began to stream in, taking chairs left and right. My four friends stood next to the pulpit. I guessed they must be best mares. Big Mac led me to just outside the door.
“Alright, just do what the priest says and you should be good,” he said. I nodded, feeling out of body. This felt so strange. Big Mac was looking at the stage, he nudged me. “It’s go time,” he said. He started to walk down the aisle. I took after him, overtaking him slightly. I took my spot on the stage, to the left of the pulpit. The girls looked at me, dreamy eyes. Music started playing on the pipe organ. A somber yet happy tone.
That’s when I saw her, at the end of the aisle. She was beautiful. An elegant dress inlaid with gems. It really matched her last name. Flanked with her mother and Rarity she strode down the aisle elegantly. Taking her spot to the right of the pulpit.
What happened next I will always remember.
“Oh, Richard,” moaned Twilight, rolling onto her side of the bed. She was breathing heavily, as was I. I gave her a big kiss.
“I love you,” I whispered softly into her ear. I don’t remember how long we had been at it, but that didn’t matter. I was loved and in love. She fell asleep between my hooves. I tried to stay awake, to be with her longer. But I couldn’t; I was exhausted.
“No!” I screamed at the room. I had woken up alone, again. I grabbed my hair, screaming as I wrenched it out in anger.
“Why can’t I have love? WHY!” I screamed. I didn’t care who heard.
“I need… to stay… with her…” I said… mumbling… delirious. I grabbed the gun in my night stand. Guns and pills? Not the best combination. I made sure it was loaded, I turned off the safety.
It felt wrong, yet so right in my hands. It was the answer. It was the cure for all my problems.
“This is the dream,” I told myself as I put the gun to my chin.
“Why can’t I be happy?” I asked. I asked God, I asked Celestia. No one responded.
“Why can’t I just live there?” The same response, nothing. The barrel felt cold.
“Please…” I pleaded. I pulled the trigger.
“Richard, honey. Are you alright?” asked Twilight.
“What?” I asked.
“You were thrashing around. Is everything ok?” she asked again.
“Yeah, just a bad dream,” I said. “It’s over now that you’re here.”