//------------------------------// // The Instigators // Story: The Kiss in His Eyes // by Desideratium //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash twirled around the tree, spiraling in a tight corkscrew. A prismatic afterimage followed her blurred form like a second shadow, making it look like the tree was wrapped in a colorful tornado. Leaves whipped up in a whirlwind, with the occasional red apple being tossed out onto the ground. Applejack frowned, looking down at the mess of foliage and fruit that Rainbow had strewn across the neatly-kept grass. “Rainbow Dash! Stop that this instant!” she shouted. Rainbow’s head poked out of the leafy canopy, her miniature windstorm petering out lazily. “What?” she asked innocently. The farm mare bent her head to pick up an apple by the stem. She could already see an ugly bruise marking the shiny crimson skin of the fruit. Carefully she placed it in a waiting bucket. “That’s not how yer supposed teh do it, Dash. Yer makin’ a right mess, and the apples are gettin’ bruised.” “Ah.” Rainbow Dash carefully lowered herself to the ground. “Sorry. Last time I did this, you had me picking apples, it was for the cider, ya know? And with that, you can usually get away with a couple of bruises . . . right?” “Yeah, but this is diff’rent.” “I know, I know.” Confidently, like she’d done it for her entire life, Rainbow lashed out with a sharp kick with her back legs. Applejack was pleased to see that the amount of apples that tumbled down from overhead was significantly less than what a kick of her own would shake loose. “Ya know,” Dash continued. “You shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you.” “Whas that supposed teh mean?” “I’m helping you with all this out of my good nature.” Rainbow puffed out her chest proudly, placing her hoof at the base of her neck. “I’ve got nothing to gain from this, but my overwhelming sense of loyalty prevents me from leaving a needy friend un-helped.” She cleared her throat. “So you’re welcome.” Applejack turned away from the pegasus. “T’wasn’t mah idea, ya know.” “Still, though.” “I specifically told Big Mac not to go an’ find you.” “Because you thought I’d show you up?” “No, it’s ‘cause I hate owing you.” “Aw, c’mon, you know I always forget what favors ponies owe me.” “Ah don’t.” “I know you don’t, farmer. Here, how’s about you do me a favor, and forget about all this. We square?” “You sound jus’ like Big Mac.” Applejack said it with a sense of finality, hoping that it would end the conversation. No matter how much Rainbow Dash hashed up her indifference, Applejack couldn’t shake the feeling that she was somehow cheating her best friend. Rainbow snorted a laugh. “Huh. Hey, speaking of the big guy, what was he going into town for?” Applejack, who had just started counting the number of rows of trees left to clear, lost count at the interruption. “What was that?” “What’s Big Mac doing in town?” “Oh. Jus’ taking a trip to Rarity’s to pick up mah overalls.” “Rarity’s, huh?” “Yeah, what of it?” Applejack started counting again, but Rainbow wasn’t finished. “He’s got his eye on her, doesn’t he?” “Yeah, he does.” “And it’s a big ol’ secret, innit?” “He thinks so.” “So I’m not the only one who’s noticed?” Applejack snorted. “You kiddin’ me? The only one who hasn’t noticed is Rarity herself! An’ that’s only because he’s too scared o’ her to even talk to her.” “Shame,” Rainbow yawned. “Has he ever . . . done it?” “Done what?” “Ya know . . .” Rainbow paused to think for a moment. “Threaded the needle? Hot cooking? Been around the block? Reached home plate? Aerial Maneuver Sixty-Nine?” She was met by a blank stare. “Seriously? Have you ever even heard of a euphemism?” “Yeah,” Applejack said defensively. Was euphemism the one that when somepony said something, and it meant something else? Or was that a metaphor? Maybe both. “Of course Ah have.” “Going all the way?” Rainbow offered. Now THAT one she knew. “Rainbow Dash!” she yelped indignantly. Against her will, she felt a hot rush of blood surge into her cheeks. “Ah’m not nosy enough to find that out! That’s his business! Not mine, and definitely not yours!” Rainbow laughed uproariously as Applejack’s embarrassment. “See, that’s about the reaction I was expecting from you!” Applejack huffed sulkily. “Why do you care?” Rainbow shrugged indifferently. “I figured that if he hadn’t gotten any, we might be able to give him a push in the right direction, you know?” “Rainbow Dash, I don’t know what yer plannin’, or why you even care, but it can’t be good.” “Hear me out, okay? See, the whole world knows that he’s got eyes for Rarity, so if we played a little bit of matchmaker, we could kill two birds with one stone, see? You know, just give them a couple of little nudges when they need it.” “Two birds?” “Yeah, we make Big Mac and Rarity super happy together, and all the gossip that the spa ponies have been gabbing will be shut down!” Rainbow looked expectantly at Applejack, evidently expecting praise for her harebrained scheme. Applejack narrowed her eyes. “And how exactly do you know about the spa ponies’ topics of conversation?” “No reason. I, uh, heard about it from Fluttershy. When she went there with . . . Rarity. I wasn’t there myself, see. But that's not important!” “Sure. There’s a reason that Ahm the Element of Honesty and you aren’t.” “So . . . what do you say?” “I still don’ see why you care so much.” “As the Element of Loyalty, it is my duty to make sure my friends are achieving their maximum potential, and that means in the romance department as well.” “I don’ think so.” Rainbow looked disappointed, but jumped in with another suggestion. “I’m . . . just trying to maintain the greater good?” “Try again.” “Okay, fine.” Rainbow Dash screwed her face up in exaggerated anguish. “I’m a hopeless romantic!” “Come again?” Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, filling her lungs to their maximum capacity, then let loose with a torrent. “I mean, I started off reading just Daring Do, and that was awesome and all for a while, but then I ran out of books in the series, so I asked Twilight what else I could read, and she gave me a bunch of big ol’ boring textbooks and stuff and I would rather tear off my wings than read them so I started to look around by myself in the library and I found a whole bunch of sappy romance novels but I was all like ‘no way José’ but Twilight was like ‘Try it and you’ll love it’ and then she guilt tripped me because I didn’t want to read Daring Do and I ended up loving it so why can’t this be the same? So I started reading them, and I couldn’t put them down—I even accidentally missed a day of work because I was so distracted. I told Twilight that they were taking over my life and she looked really happy about it, all ‘I told you so’ about it. And it wasn’t anything TOO smutty, by the way . . .” Rainbow finished breathlessly, blushing more scarlet than Applejack. Applejack stared. Her jaw had long since thudded to the ground, and she made no effort to pick it up. Rainbow Dash, the adamantly tomboyish athlete that had hated all the gush and goo of Twilight and Rarity’s romantic fiction, who had practically retched after overhearing one of their conversations relating to their favorite fictional stallions. “Uh . . .” “So, are you in?” “Erm . . .” “It’ll be fun,” Rainbow coaxed. “I don’t know . . .” “Aw, c’mon.” “Okay, fine.” “Sweet! Okay, where do we start?”