Lyra's Law

by Divide


IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO ALLOW SUCKERS TO KEEP THEIR MONEY

After a hard day's work, Lyra found herself in need of a drink. She decided to finally try out the new bar that opened up a few doors down. If she could hear the ponies laughing and singing drunkenly from her house, then surely it was a half-decent establishment with a reputable and colourful cast of frequenters. Surely.

When Lyra arrived, the sun hadn't yet set, but the bar was already full-to-bursting. After proving the lone bouncer that she was above the legal drinking age, Lyra stumbled her way in.

The bar was a cacophony of colours, sounds, and smells, but it all somehow blended to create a friendly atmosphere. All the ponies Lyra passed were eager to welcome her into their drinking groups with open forelegs, but she politely declined. Maybe in the future she'd join such a sect, but tonight her eyes were set on the only available bar stool.

Surprisingly, nopony managed to steal the seat before she got there. Hopping up onto the stool, Lyra ordered. "Can I get... uh..."

Lyra trailed off, realizing that she had no idea what she wanted. The bartender somehow raised an eyebrow impatiently.

"Uh... I guess I'll take whatever's most popular tonight," she said.

"Comin' right up."

While Lyra waited for her drink, she glanced to the left and saw a shifty-eyed earth pony that looked like he'd seen better days. After briefly making eye contact, the earth pony gulped nervously and looked away.

Lyra narrowed her eyes. Just what was this pony up to?

Before she could muster up the courage to ask, the bartender returned with a mug of hard cider.

"'ere you go." The bartender placed the frothing pint in front of Lyra. "If ya need a refill, jus' holler."

"Thank you," Lyra replied. She bent down and cautiously took a sip. It wasn't as strong as she thought it might be, and it left behind the pleasant taste of apples.

As she leaned her head in to take another sip, Lyra eyeballed the earth pony once more. Sure enough, he was watching her, and nervously looked away again. A medium-sized bag full of something was being moulded by fidgeting hooves. Suddenly, the pony stopped jittering and took a deep breath, almost like he decided on something internally.

Before she could ask if the earth pony wanted something, he placed the bag on the counter and slid it over to Lyra, bumping her glass and spilling a portion of the foam.

"Hey!" Lyra exclaimed, but when she turned to confront the strange pony, he was already forcing his way through the crowd with single-minded intensity. He glanced back once with terror in his eyes, and didn't look back after that. Nopony else seemed to notice—or at least, didn't pay any attention—to what had just occurred.

Confused, Lyra gingerly slid her glass aside and pulled the bag closer. After fumbling with the drawstrings, she finally managed to get it open. Her eyes widened when she did so.

Inside was a gleaming pile of bits, with a small piece of paper on top. With a trembling body, Lyra levitated the piece of paper onto the table. It read:


I'm so sorry for not having your payment ready on time, Mister Scarred Face. It won't happen again. I added an additional two hundred bits to prove that I'm still loyal.

-Fruit Dealer


Lyra stared at the paper for almost a minute before shaking her head and crumpling up the piece of paper. It looked like she was mistaken for some sort of enforcer for organized crime.

She eyed the patrons beside her with a shifty eye. They seemed none the wiser to what transpired, nor to what the bag in front of her contained.

Making a decision, Lyra quickly tied the bag back up and, after leaving an excessively large tip to the bartender, waltzed out of the bar whilst whistling a happy tune, the bag of bits held firmly in her teeth.

After all, it was morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.