It was a beautiful, late-summer day in Ponyville. Fluttershy was out gathering flowers near the edge of the Everfree Forest in preparation for the arrival of Princess Celestia. Fluttershy sang tunelessly to herself as she went about her task. A brown squirrel scampered up to her and offered her a dandelion.

“Thank you, little squirrel! But remember, these flowers are for Princess Celestia. Only the prettiest ones will do.”

Just then, the wind picked up and blew the seeds on the dandelion away. The stalk wilted. The squirrel scampered away in embarrassment. Fluttershy giggled. She carried a basket of flowers on her back, planning to set it down next to a basket of apples that sat on a tree stump. A chirping noise from behind a nearby rock startled her and she hid behind the stump, dropping the basket. She peeked around the tree stump slowly. A small, blue animal with a perfectly round body and two huge, green eyes pulled itself on top of the rock. Fluttershy was intrigued and approached it.

She put a hoof on the apple and brought her weight down on it, turning it into mush.

It ignored the mashed apple on the ground and instead devoured all the apples in her basket in a sudden outburst of voracious energy.

It cooed and purred. It nuzzled Fluttershy’s mane. The creature burrowed deep into her mane; it nestled comfortably.

“You’re the cutest thing ever! I can’t wait to show you to my friends...”
The yellow Pegasus pony trotted off toward Ponyville.

Twilight Sparkle leapt out of bed as soon as she realized she was awake, sending the covers billowing off the bed. They draped over Spike’s bed. Spike grasped them and pulled them neatly over himself without waking up.

Twilight charged down the stairs leading to the library. Hovering over her head was a hairbrush, a mirror, and a damp cloth. With expert co-ordination she had herself cleaned up by the bottom step. Given the messy state of the library, she had no problem leaving her things on the table there, temporarily.

She opened the door to the basement and almost called down to alert Simon that she was coming. She stopped herself. The basement was silent as the grave.

She didn’t even know if the food she’d lain out was even safe for him to eat!

Twilight bolted down the stairs leading to the basement. By the time she reached the bottom, her mane was ragged.

She found Simon exactly where she left him, fast asleep on the straw bed. Her heart slowly returned to it’s normal rhythm.

Her ears lowered slightly. She noticed for the first time that Simon smelled very bad. It was a nauseating combination of smoke, sweat, and filth.

How long had he been this way? She lit her horn, filling the room with a pale blue glow. She made her way around to the side of the bed, taking care to stay out of Simon’s olfactory perimeter, to look at his face.

In the light of her horn, she could see Simon’s features. He had a mat of dark hair which was long and unkempt. His hairline was high above his brow. His closed eyes were set deep into his face, making them look dark and shadowy. Between them ran a bridge that bulged out into a huge knob of a nose. Underneath that was a pair of thin, pale lips. His pale skin was covered in grime and blemishes. His ears stuck out, and she could tell he couldn’t move them the way a pony could. His teeth bit deep into his jaw. His bony chin was covered in blood. Dark, bristly hairs unevenly coated his face.

For a brief moment, she considered the possibility that he was not as intelligent as she’d thought. Perhaps somepony had put a wild animal in a suit that said Simon as part of a strange prank. The geometrical display was something that a wild creature could easily be trained to do.

She shook her head. Of course he was intelligent! He’d understood everything she’d said to him, hadn’t he?

He’d given her water when he saw she was thirsty. If that didn’t prove he was intelligent, it at least proved he had a heart capable of kindness, and such a heart did not deserve to be trapped in the Everfree Forest.

When it became apparent Simon wasn’t going to wake up, Twilight headed back upstairs. She found Spike at the top of the stairs holding a scroll. The baby dragon shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.

“Is it, uh, awake?” Spike asked, leaning to look past Twilight’s shoulder and into the basement’s doorway. Twilight rolled her eyes and gave Spike a comforting smile.

“I keep telling you Spike, Simon’s harmless. If he’d wanted to hurt anyone then he would have done it last night when we were both alone in the Everfree Forest. I’m sure you two will get along fine so long as you don’t start spitting fire at him.”

Twilight took Spike in a warm embrace. After a moment, she asked, “What’s in the scroll?”

Spike handed it to her. Upon unfurling it, she recognized Princess Celestia’s regal writing.

I am excited by your discovery of this interesting, new creature. Your description is nothing like anything that now lives in Equestria. I trust that you will be a good host to Simon and I look forward to meeting him tomorrow during my visit.

She hurried to the window. Every last citizen of Ponyville was out in force, washing windows, tending gardens, and moving clouds in preparation for the royal visit. She turned to face her own library which Celestia herself had arranged to be her home. It was a disaster.

“Spike! Princess Celestia’s visit is tomorrow! We have to get this place clean!

“It also didn’t mess itself up,” muttered the dragon as he struggled to pick up a stack of books.

“There’s nothing casual about a visit from royalty! I want this place to be spotless, and you’ve barely made a dent in the clutter!”

Spike grunted as he hefted a stack of books up a ladder to the upper shelves. “Maybe you should… start reading them… one at a time. Woah!” Spike fell and was buried under the books he’d been carrying.

Spike dug his way out from under the books. “You know, this would be an awful lot easier if there weren’t two of us here getting under each others’ feet!”

“Great idea. You clean, I’ll see how everyone else’s preparations are coming.” Twilight made for the door. Spike was left holding her feather duster.

Simon wove in and out of consciousness. Hours passed in minutes, minutes dragged for hours. His mouth was dry. His stomach ached. His muscles burned. His head throbbed.

He was occasionally taken by fits and spasms. He kicked and rolled uncontrollably. He rolled off the bed and could hardly find the strength to climb back in.

During his brief periods of lucidity, Simon pieced together his memories of what had happened, where he was, and why he was here. He remembered the fire. He remembered that Al was dead. He remembered the purple angel. Her name was Twilight. He was in her house, on her bed. He felt a pang of heavy conscience.

When at last the time came when he’d recovered enough of his strength to stand, and could no longer stand lying down, he rose to a sitting position. The room he was in was dark. There was a pleasant wooden scent to it. It was warm. He felt cozy.

He pulled himself to his feet. He was stiff all over. Without urgency or apprehension, he felt his way around the room. He found a wall easily enough and he walked alongside it until he found a staircase. No doubt he’d been brought here down those stairs. Twilight, or another like her, was up there. He put his foot on the first stair, then stopped. He wanted to stay down in the stillness, the darkness of the basement. He didn’t want to face Twilight. He remembered how angry she’d been when he’d hit her with the tree branch. A childish thought entered his mind: Is she still mad?

There was a big, new world at the top of those stairs. One dominated by Twilight and others like her. A whole new world to explore and learn and understand and fit into…

He caught a whiff of something fragrant. Fragrant and fruity. His mouth watered. He followed the smell. His outstretched hands felt something cold and smooth and firm. He remembered his flashlight and turned it on.

A pile of fruit and vegetables sat along the wall of the room, as did some wax candles. Simon hastily lit them with a match.

To see such tempting food laid out so attractively for him brought a tear to his eye. He pulled up the biggest, most delicious looking carrot he’d ever seen in his life.

Twilight Sparkle trotted down an opulently-appointed Ponyville street. Her critical mindset gave way to pleasurable thoughts at the citizens of Ponyville’s efforts to impress the Princess.

She arrived just in time to see Berry Punch and Carrot Top hoist a banner that read:

WeLcomE Princess CeLeST

“What happened to the rest of her name?” Twilight asked the two mares sternly.

“We couldn’t fit it all in” replied Carrot Top, in a tone that sounded like she might not understand what was wrong.

“You can’t hang a banner that says ‘Welcome Princess Celest’! Take it down and try again!” Twilight galloped away. Leaving the two mares to roll their eyes.

Next, Twilight approached Bon Bon, who was watering her flowers. Twilight was much more pleased with the beige pony’s efforts. “That looks perfect” she informed Bon Bon with a grin, “Keep up the good work”

Simon couldn’t eat the food laid before him fast enough. He reduced whole apples to their cores in three or four bites, which he threw over his shoulder and started on the next.

His appetite was becoming sated. He was reaching his capacity. He started noticing things aside from the food.

He sat down on the wooden floor. His palm felt the coarseness of the wood. He put the box in his lap and unstrung the bow. He lifted the top of the box. There were six cupcakes inside. Home-made cupcakes with pink frosting. Simon’s waning appetite flared up again.

In less than a minute, all six were gone. His lips were pink. They began to burn. His whole mouth burned. He could taste hot sauce in the frosting.

The Cakes were working hard at their sweet shop to get everything ready. Twilight Sparkle appeared in the doorway.

“Uh, it would be coming a little better if...” she trailed off. One of the few intact cakes on the table was suddenly devoured by Pinkie Pie, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The crown that had adorned the cake landed on Pinkie’s head, and a beard of whipped cream gave Pinkie the appearance of an old King. She licked the whipped cream away.

“PINKIE, what are you doing? Those sweets are supposed to be for the Princess!”

Pinkie Pie smiled guiltily at her friend. “I know. That’s why I’m tasting them. Somepony needs to make sure that everything is tasty enough to touch...” She stuck her tongue out, much to Twilight’s displeasure, “...the royal tongue!” Pinkie’s speech and posture took on a regal air. “And I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a King, or a Queen, or a Princess!” She stood up on two legs and leaned against a counter on which yet another cake sat. She opened her jaws to devour the succulent treat but was interrupted by a soft voice.

“Twilight! Pinkie! You won’t believe...” The excited Fluttershy hopped into Sugarcube Corner, saw her friends, and skidded to a halt on her haunches. “...oh. I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?”

With those words, Pinkie directed all her attention to the cake in front of her. With one motion of her tongue, she pulled the entire dessert into her mouth and swallowed it whole.

“You won’t believe what I found at the edge of the Everfree Forest!” She turned to face her mane. “Come on out, little guy. It’s okay!” A blue ball emerged, followed by a yellow one, and a brown one. Fluttershy gasped. “Three?” she asked aloud.

“I’m not sure. I’m also not sure where these other two came from,” said Fluttershy.

Twilight took one in her hooves. “I’ll take one off your hooves. I’ve never seen anything so...” She held it to her cheek, “...adorable!” She noticed Fluttershy staring at her. Her cheeks reddened. “Besides, it’ll be nice to have a companion for Spike so he won’t bother me so much while I’m studying.”

“A trombone. You know...” Pinkie fell to her haunches and imitated the use of a trombone before quickly bouncing out the door and out of sight.

Searching the remains of the food pile yielded one last item of interest. It was a small chest under the table. What he found inside made his heart jump: diamonds. Twelve diamonds, each the size of a hen’s egg. He held it up to the light of his flashlight. It shone with blinding fire. It was flawless. A short inspection showed that they all were.

He turned to the stairs, and began to climb upwards. He hesitated, retreated. He began to feel tired again.

At Carousel Boutique, Rarity was having a time fitting Rainbow Dash for a truly opulent outfit, the most distinguishing part of which was a frilly hat that was as big as the pony who wore it. Rainbow Dash stamped her hooves impatiently.

Twilight pushed the door open and glanced around at the various clothing on display. “Wow. Rarity, those outfits are gorgeous!”

“The better question is, where did they come from? I only had one a minute ago.”

“Does anypony know where I can find an accordion?” she sounded almost frantic. Her friends ignored her.

Twilight sat over her ward, who had, since the morning, fallen fast asleep again. Her ears were flat. Her patience was almost gone.

She looked over at the feast she’d laid out for him. It was a mess; apple cores and grains of oat were strewn about everywhere. Whole stalks of celery were tossed aside as if they were worthless.

It had all been there to be eaten, of course, and yet she felt that it had not been accepted in the spirit she’d offered it.

With heavy footfalls, Simon made his way up the spiral stairs. The food and the natural sleep had done away with the anxiety he’d felt in the morning and was ready to face this strange new world.

At the top of the stairs he found a round room. The walls, floor, and ceiling were made of wood. The entire room was done up in soft, natural hues. Lining all the walls was a vast collection of books. Everything was tidy.

Simon crossed the room. The wooden floor creaked under him. He pulled a book off the shelf. Simon had a habit of skimming over things he read, and he only caught the word ‘Obscure’ in the title.

Starswirl the Bearded and the Amiomorphic Spell

Introduction:
Prior to the amiomorphic spell, magic was merely a novelty of little practical use. The works of Starswirl the Bearded produces powerful results from what may seem like a very weak collection of capabilities.

Individually these actions seem incapable of doing anything useful. However, when utilized in harmony with one another, they can seemingly defy the laws of physics…

Something flitted past his ear. He dropped the book and ducked. The sound of the hardcover striking the wooden floor started a ruckus throughout the house. Upstairs he could hear movement.

Simon searched for the thing that had startled him. The room became a blur as he twisted his head. His eyes settled on a small, round, winged insect. A pang of terror went through him.
He spied a lit candle on a table in the center of the room. He knew what to do.

In two steps he was in front of it. He saw Twilight enter the room from a staircase. “Simon…” was as far as she got before he placed the locust over the flame of the candle. He’d explain when he’d finished what he had to do. He grimaced as his own hand was seared.

The words “GET OUT” boomed so loud, it shook the room, and startled Simon into letting go of the locust.

Spike came scrambling out of the bedroom in a panic. “What’s goin’ on? What happened?” he asked as he ran to the staircase, speaking so fast that he almost tumbled over his own tongue. Unfortunately, he did trip over his own feet while he was still several steps from the ground floor. Instead of skidding to a halt at Twilight’s side, Spike found himself belly up beneath her chin. “...Ow.”

It was a moment before Twilight was able to tear her gaze away from the black mark in the center of the library and help Spike to his feet. “Are you alright, Spike?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” he said as he found his balance on a pair of unsteady feet. “I was just wondering what you were freaking out about.” Spike looked left and right, looking for anything that might have upset Twilight enough to make her shout.

“I could’ve sworn you were talking to Simon?” he asked, looking around again.

Twilight stalked off in silent rage back upstairs. Spike looked after her helplessly.

For fifteen minutes the only sound was that of his own breathing. He stood perfectly still, trying to sort out what was happening.

He was back in the forest. The smell of smoke still hung heavy in the air. The ground he stood on was coated in ash. Bare trees were all around him.

The fact that Twilight and the home she’d taken him to had disappeared in an instant prevented him from analyzing the situation any further.

After fifteen minutes, the shock of the event, whatever it had been, gave way to a need to take positive action. Simon made his way back to the ship. He turned it over and over in his mind, unable to make sense of it all. One moment, he’d been in a building. The next, he was somewhere else, possibly miles away. His head swam. He questioned whether there’d even been a Twilight. Perhaps it had all been a dream conjured up by a dying mind. He placed his hands into one of his many pockets. He felt something unfamiliar. He pulled it out. It was one of the diamonds he’d found in Twilight’s house.

On his way back, a strange thing happened. He felt excited. For the first time since he’d returned to Earth he sensed a future for himself. Somewhere, beyond the ruins of London, intelligent creatures still lived. The more he thought about Twilight’s appearance, the more certain he was she’d been shaped by the hand of man. Man’s legacy continued. Simon was to be it’s caretaker.

I’m afraid Simon will not be present during your visit tomorrow. Today, he tried to kill an innocent creature in my home. I thought it best to return him to the Everfree Forest. I hope that you are not too disappointed.

Simon lay down atop his ship, exhausted. The metal door had refused to give way. The warped hull was uncomfortable, but at least it was safe. Lying flat on his back, his eyes wide, he stared deep into the brilliant night sky. With his feet firmly planted on the Earth, he could again face the cosmos without feeling lost in it.

In the West the Moon was setting. It was a young, narrow, crescent moon, eagerly following the wise old sun down to the horizon. He’d never been to the Moon, though he’d known a few who had. He supposed that now he never would.

There was a kind of ecstasy that time did not extinguish that he felt to look at the Moon. Painted into the backdrop of the sky, it seemed as unreachable as the stars beyond. Ninety-One years before he was born, the first man set his foot upon its surface. Less than a century before that, people depended on horse and carriage to carry them meagre miles.

In his head, he could hear the immortal words: One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

Soon, the Moon had set. He looked at the late-summer constellations. Lyra, Cygnus, Aquilus. Perseus, Cassiopeia, Andromeda. Pegasus.

It dawned on him that the stars, too, had been touched by man. Planets, too distant and small to be seen, had been tread upon by human feet, and those feet were his. He felt mighty.

That night, Twilight stood above her sparkling bedroom. Spike slept in his bed, hugging the new addition to their home.

“The decorations. The banquet...oh, I really hope everything comes together in time for tomorrow...” She looked down at Spike and his sleeping companion. She yawned. “What’s there to worry about?”

Last

by Alan Smithee

Rejection