//------------------------------// // Rainbow Dash 3 // Story: Unwell // by HazamaBrony //------------------------------// It had been a week since I had last talked to Twilight, and to tell the truth, I was getting really sick of waiting. I’m not the most patient of ponies at the best of times, and with something like this I think it was a minor miracle that I hadn’t flown into her library and demanded an answer. The only thing that was stopping me was how Twilight had freaked when I asked her out. Still, I was going to hold her to the limit of a week. If she didn’t talk to me today, I would fly down to the library and demand… er, ask, what was going on. Just because we didn’t Pinkie Promise doesn’t mean that she can blow me off. “Hey, Rainbow!” a familiar voice yelled up to me. I flipped over on the cloud that I had been napp—thinking on, and turned to face the source of the voice. “Hey, Spike! What you need?” I yelled back down to the little dragon. Darn, Twilight wasn’t with him. I had gotten my hopes up when I heard him shout. Well, maybe he was here to tell me that— “Twilight wants to talk to you, Rainbow!” Score! “One second!” I yelled back as I got to my hooves. After a quick stretch, I leaped down and began to hover beside Spike. “So, Twilight has made a decision?” I asked as we began to walk towards the library. “Yes, but now it is up to you,” Spike said. “Huh? What do you mean?” “Twilight wants to talk to you for a bit, then she wants you to decide if you still want to date her.” “Wait, what? Of course I want to date her, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked her out!” Spike spun around and stared at me with a serious look in his eyes. “You shouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch, Rainbow.” “What the hey is that supposed to mean?” Spike just ignored me and went on speaking. “Just promise me one thing. Even if you don’t want to date her after this, just don’t laugh at her, or stop being her friend.” I blinked. This suddenly got really serious. It was looking more and more like I wouldn’t get that straightforward answer that I was hoping for. “Sure, I promise.” Spike didn’t look any less serious. “Pinkie Promise?” Wow. He must really be serious if he wanted a Pinkie Promise. “As long as she isn’t, like, hurting anypony, sure.” “I can tell you with without a doubt that she isn’t hurting anypony. So, do you promise?” I nodded. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I said as I went through the motions. Spike finally looked satisfied. “Good. Now then, she is waiting in the basement. Go and talk to her.” I was off like a shot before he could even finish his sentence. “Twilight, you down here?” I asked, poking my head into the well-lit basement. To my surprise, she wasn’t conducting some sort of experiment. She was just sitting on a cushion in the middle of the room, with another one in front of her. That one was for me I guess. I trotted over and took my seat. “So, Twilight, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, hoping to get some sort of answer right off the bat. Twilight just looked nervous. She was biting her lip, and looking everywhere except for at me. After what felt like an eternity, she looked directly at me. “Rainbow Dash, why do you want to date me?” she asked. Oh wow, I should have actually thought about something like that, huh? “Well, you see… um…” I stuttered out, trying to get my thoughts in order enough to give some sort of answer. Twilight just sat there, looking expectantly at me. All right, Rainbow, just do what you always do: dive in head first and hope for the best. “Well, Twilight, I’m gonna be honest here. You are incredibly beautiful. Not just physically, but mentally as well.” Did she just flinch? Oh well, just don’t think about it and keep on going. “I mean, every time you have always given everypony the benefit of the doubt. You were so accepting of Zecora even after you saw how all of us reacted to her. And you forgave us so easily after the incident with Discord. And you are so smart as well. Half the time I cannot make heads or tails of what you are saying, but you always want to learn more and expand your horizons, something I have a hard time with. So, yeah, I like a lot of things about you.” Twilight was silent for another eternity before she finally spoke. “Thank you, Rainbow. But there is one thing that you should know about before you date me.” She took a deep breath before continuing. As she released it, she looked me straight in the eyes. “Rainbow, I have A.C.M.S.” “What?” I asked. Seriously, I had never heard of that before, and even if I had, I had no idea what it stood for. “A.C.M.S.” she repeated. “It stands for Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome.” “I still have no idea what that means.” She turned her flank to me, giving me a good view of her cutie mark. I took a look, trying not to stare too hard at the plot itself. It was the same starburst of magic as always. “So, what about your cutie mark?” I asked. “Describe it to me,” she said, looking very serious. “Erm…” I was totally lost at this point, something that was happening to me far too much for my taste lately. “I don’t know… a star or magical sparkle of some sort? An explosion, maybe?” “Now describe Rarity’s.” “Three gems.” “Applejack’s?” “Three apples. Listen, Twilight, where are you going with this?” “That was my point. Everypony else has a cutie mark that is an actual thing, like gems or apples. I have this odd one that is not describable. It’s abstract.” “It just means you’re good at magic. I bet everypony with magic as their talent has a weird one like you do.” “Even Trixie?” “That’s different! You’re just more powerful that her, so your cutie mark is more… um… magicalish?” That was supposed to make her laugh, not cringe again. “Actually, A.C.M.S. tends to affect ponies with more magic than others. Earth ponies that are better than average with plants, pegasi that are stronger flyers than normal, and unicorns that… that…” she said before trailing off and staring at the wall. “Ok, so your cutie mark is a little weird, and you have something called A.C.S.M., or some such,” I said, trying to get to the heart of the matter. I was getting a bit sick of how Twilight was dancing around actually telling me what it was. “So what?” “A.C.M.S.,” Twilight said, still staring at the wall. “Rainbow, A.C.M.S. is a mental illness. I have a mental illness.” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I was probably the wrong thing to do, judging from Twilight’s face, but I couldn’t help it. “You, are you trying to tell me that you are crazy or something? No way Twilight! I mean, your one of the smartest mares I know!” I managed to choke out between gales of laughter. “This has nothing to do with my IQ, Rainbow!” Twilight said, her voice dark with anger and hurt. I immediately stopped laughing and let her continue. “A.C.M.S. primarily affects a pony’s perception of reality and their emotional responses and social abilities!” “And I am saying that you cannot have that! You are one of the most grounded and mature ponies that I know, and you always like to hang out with us. What part of that sounds like you have an ‘affected perception of reality’ or ‘affected emotional responses and social abilities’?” I asked. Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it with a clack of her teeth. “Rainbow,” she said, “I am going to talk for a minute or two, and I want you not to interrupt. Please?” I nodded. I may have promised not to interrupt, but once she was done speaking, I was going to try and get all this nonsense out of her head. “First,” she began, “the symptoms of Abstract Cutie Mark Syndrome, hereafter referred to as A.C.M.S., can be divided into two groups, positive and negative symptoms. “Positive symptoms are behaviors and thoughts that most ponies do not have but ponies with the… illness have. In the case of A.C.M.S., the most typically found positive symptoms include disordered thoughts, hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. These can take many forms, such as believing that the sun is moving like the hand of a clock, or believing that one will be sent back to magical kindergarten for failing to send a letter at the right time.” Oh. She was referring to the smartypants incident. I have to admit, Twilight wasn’t at her most rational during that point. But that didn’t mean that she was crazy, right? “Negative symptoms, on the other hoof, are behaviors and thoughts that the affected pony lack but are present in the majority of ponies,” Twilight said. “These can include flat or blunted affect, alogia, anhedonia, and asociality. Now, not all—“ “Wait, wait, wait,” I interrupted. I knew that she was probably going into lecture mode to make it easier to talk about, and I didn’t want to disrupt that, but… “I have no idea what any of those words mean, Twilight. Could you give them to me in english?” The glare that Twilight had slowly melted away, and she nodded. “Sorry, I forgot that not everypony is familiar with terminology like that.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Affect is basically emotional reactivity. Blunted affect is when a pony feels a greatly lessened version of emotion. They may not cry at things that are sad, or be happy when something good happens. Understand?” I nodded. “Now then, alogia is a form of aphasia or impairment in linguistic ability, specifically, a poverty of speech. Did you follow that?” “Umm… no,” I admitted. Twilight sighed. “Basically, it means that I—a pony with alogia is very stringy with words. They will give one word answers to complex, multi-part questions, for example. Now do you understand? I nodded again. “All right, now, anhedonia is a lack of pleasure from activates one would find pleasurable. Of example, it would be like if, for you, you suddenly stopped enjoying stunt flying. For me, it is—would be like I suddenly stopped enjoying learning new things. Understand?” I nodded a third time, swallowing a lump in my throat. That would be hell for me. I loved to fly so much and if I suddenly stopped enjoying it… I don’t know what I would do. “Finally, I think asociality speaks for itself. It is the lack of desire to form relationships, simply put. There are some factors to this, including being rather unable to judge the emotions and reactions of others, but I think that would be getting too technical. Are you still following me?” “Yeah,” I managed to say. “But Twilight, you aren’t antisocial at all! You like hanging out with the rest of us!” “Yes, I like being with the five of you. But Rainbow, have you ever seen me express an interest in making new friends? The only reason I became friends with the five of you is because you were too stubborn to let me tell you to stop following me!” “Yes but…” But what? I had no comeback for that. Heck, I still remember Twilight saying that before she met the five of us, she had no friends outside of her family. “All right, I’ll give you that one. But still, you don’t fit any of the other, um… whatyoucallem, negative symptoms! You love to study, you are very emotional, and you absolutely love to talk about your projects!” Twilight just looked sad. “There are two reasons for that. First is that not all ponies experience the exact same combinations of symptoms. Some may be more or less severe depending on the pony. I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t have as many negative symptoms as I could, and negative symptoms don’t react much to medicine. And that brings me to my next point. Have you ever seen my medicine cabinet?” I shook my head. “I have a couple of bottles of medicine in there. My meds help me control the symptoms that I do have. They do have a few side effects, however.” “What kind of side effects?” I asked. “Oh, they aren’t that bad,” she said, waving a hoof in the air. “Mostly, I need watch what I eat, because they make it really easy to gain weight.” “I see…” I said, thinking. “Hey, Twilight? Have you ever thought about just quitting your meds? Like they do in all those movies?” Twilight looked horrified at the thought. “No, Rainbow! First, I know for a fact that I need them, and second, just going cold turkey like that could have incredibly bad side effects. The withdrawal alone would be terrible!” “Oh…” What else could I say to that? “Umm… does Spike know about this?” Twilight shifted guiltily on her cushion. “Rainbow, do you remember how I acted when you said that it was like Spike takes care of me?” After I nodded, she continued. “Well, I acted that way because it is at least partially true. It’s actually somewhat of a symbiotic relationship. He keeps an eye on me to make sure that I don’t have any relapses, and I am in charge of his education. There is a reason I get him books every year for his birthday. Anyways, if I start to show… symptoms… he contacts Princess Celestia for help, and she decides what to do from there.” “Like with the smartypants incident,” I said. “Like with the smartypants incident,” she agreed. She let out a bitter laugh. “Once she had calmed me down, I was so afraid that she was going to send me the hospital again. She does that if she thinks I might hurt myself.” “They don’t treat you badly there, do they!?” I asked somewhat more forcefully than I intended. I know that I had only just learned about this… thing that Twilight had to deal with, but the thought of somepony being mean to Twilight when she couldn’t help herself made my blood boil. Twilight blinked, then looked a little shocked. “Rainbow! We are not in the middle ages anymore! The hospital had been nothing but helpful when I have a relapse! Granted, that could be because they know that I have the ear of the princess, but still…” “Okay, okay, I get it.” I threw my hooves up in defeat. “So then, why were you so afraid of going back to the hospital?” “Because then all of you would have found out that something was wrong with me. I just… I wanted to either tell you on my own terms, or keep it a secret. I know that trying to keep a big secret is one of the best ways to lose a friend, but I didn’t want any of you to look at me differently.” She started to cry. Without thinking, I leaned over and gave her a hug. “Listen, Twilight. The only ponies that would look at you differently are not worth knowing. The five of us, we care about you, and a little thing like this won’t change that.” “Rainbow, thank you,” Twilight said between sobs. I have no idea how long the two of us just sat there, Twilight crying and me holding her in comfort. I think I heard the door open once, probably Spike coming to check on the two of us, but apparently he knew better than to interrupt us. It took a few minutes, but Twilight finally calmed down and stopped crying. After a moment, I felt that it was okay to speak again. “So, if you really have been dreading telling us, why are you telling me now?” “Isn’t it obvious?” Twilight asked between sniffles. “It’s because you said you wanted to date me. I figured that you should know this before you commit to a relationship with me. So… do you still want to date me?” “Oh, Twilight,” I said with a sad smile, “this doesn’t change a thing. Everything I said before still stands. I’m really glad that you trusted me enough to tell me this, and that just makes me admire you more. Of course I still want to date you.” “But, but… did you even think about that for one instant!?” Twilight said, looking mad. “I want you to put some actual thought into this! What if you have to give up on your dream to take care of me? What then?” “True, I don’t want to give up on being a Wonderbolt, but still,” I said, “even if this interferes with my being a Wonderbolt, it would be worth it.” “But if you do this because we are romantically engaged, then—“ “That doesn’t matter!” I said, anger coloring my voice. “Even if you were just a friend, I would still drop everything to help you! If I thought that being a Wonderbolt would interfere with my friendship with any of you, I wouldn’t go for it! Do you really think that I am the type of pony to just abandon my friends?” I took a deep breath, trying to get myself under control. Yelling at the pony that I wanted to date probably wasn’t the best idea, but at least Twilight didn’t look like she wanted me to leave. In fact, she looked somewhat… happy. “Thank you, Rainbow. It makes me glad to hear that.” Twilight said, sounding happy even as her eyes welled up with tears again. “So you really want to do this?” “Of course!” I said. “The question is, do you still want to do this?” Twilight smiled. “Does seven P.M. at the Bale tomorrow night sound good to you?” I laughed. “Sure does. See you then, Twilight.” “See you then, Rainbow.” I reluctantly let go of Twilight, and began to walk up the stairs leading to the main room of the library. After a quick nod to Spike letting him know everything was all right, I stretched my wings and took off into the sky. I had a date with Twilight Sparkle tomorrow night! Awesome! I had waited for this day for so long, and it was finally here! I couldn’t be happier.