Ponies Versus Starcraft

by ambion


Team zerg gets recruitin'

Fluttershy was still trying to familiarize herself with her mutated wings, like dish racks made of tendons and ligaments. The whispy white filaments they had in place of feathers she was gaining some measure of control over, but the absolute strength the deceiptively fragile looking things could exert on the air scared her, scared her enough to make flying at all an awkward, graceless affair. So they walked.

Travelling with Pinkie had become strange as well. Well, stranger, in any case. Her usual cheery monologues would be interspaced with sudden silences. She’d cease bouncing and walk like a pony asleep, maybe murmur half-formed words under her breath.

“Talking with the zerg,” she had explained happily enough, when her mind had been here and now (as much as it could ever be, considering this was Pinkie Pie and all). To Fluttershy, the hive-mind was as distinctive as rain in the distance, and about as decipherable. How Pinkie immersed herself in that, take any kind of sense from it, Fluttershy didn’t know. She didn’t like the way Pinkie’s smile slumped when she did it, but never said this.

“There’s a lot around, all over,” Pinkie began, meaning the zerg. “But they’re not super-duper tight anymore. Not without an Overmind. Some of them fall through the gaps now. Wander off, or Get left behind, or get misplaced.”

Fluttershy trotted for a moment to catch up. “That’s terrible,” she said. She couldn’t bear to imagine what would befall the little larva she carried on her back if he were left all on his own. Both mares had been surprised that the changes wrought on them by the spawning pool hadn’t happened for the little creature.

“Yep! Since we don’t have any hive of our own. And it’s from them that we’ll make our army.” Pinkie beamed widely. “Pretty good idea, huh?”

Fluttershy nodded and agreed. Leaving the poor babies to just wander about, so aimless and alone...when she thought of it, it made her want to test her new wings, so just how fast and how far and how many of those poor lost zerg she could find.

It was only a few minutes later that the first zerglings showed up, seven in all. A hydralisk, slithering and hissing with casual menace, fell in as well, swiping with its sycthe-like claws at the smaller creatures if they happened upon its personal space. Fluttershy, momentarily breaking away form her spot in the lead with Pinkie, flew over to the serpent and made it apologize. She had them shake claws with one another (Fluttershy being not at all certain of ‘kissing and making up’ being literal in meaning, least of all with with zerg), then, because it was really quite a good boy about the whole thing, she gave the hydra a scratch behind the ear, (or the closest thing to an ear she could find).

Fluttershy noticed Pinkie smiling back at her, really wondering what was going through that mare’s mind. Once, after another hour’s wandering march, Pinkie had cocked her head as if hearing a sound that wasn’t a sound and bounded off. Fluttershy had found her atop a nearby knoll, staring at the darkest patch of the evening sky. Pinkie blinked, the growths shot through her mane wiggling like a groovey coral bed and regained herself after a terse moment, but didn’t answer the pegasus’ questions as to her wellbeing. Rather, Fluttershy got a pat on the head and friendly hoof thrown around her shoulder, another gesturing to all the land before them, as she started another cheery rant about this and that and nothing at all.

“...an army. An army worthy of Mordor!” She said in a deeper voice. Fluttershy didn’t get it, but was happy all the same to see Pinkie more herself. The pink pony gasped and shot off again, but this time full of excitement and energy, the familiar qualities Fluttershy was happy to chase after.

“Look at that!” Pinkie cried. “A swarm host!”

It was a big creature, squat and heavy-limbed, like the very confused offspring of toads and toadstools. Heavy forelegs and a sunken, round head snuffled under a half-rotted log, unearthed the obstruction and pushed it aside. The the dome of fleshy growth it carried on its back quivered and writhed in an all too lively fashion all the while, but the zerg paid no mind to this, giving all its attention to the wet ground it had unearthed.

“Helloooo!” Pinkie called out, waving as she bounced towards the sizeable cottage sized creature. It regarded her with single-minded animal interest. She did a little cha-cha dance of celebration. The swarm host, cumbersome and heavy, mimicked the motions slowly.

“Up-upupupup,” the mare intoned. “There ya go!” she said, the swarm host having raised one muscly appendage off the ground for her. She hi-hoofed this with a squee of delight. “Score!” she cried, and promtly leapt high enough off the ground to dive straight into one of the openings in the monster’s back.

“Pink-” Fluttershy gasped, but before she could even get it out there she was, flying back up on a plume of air from one of the other holes. A sound that can only be described as a pipe organ (with ‘organ’ being very, very literal) accompanied each rise and fall of Pinkie, as if each orifice had been intended all along to match up with corresponding note.

It was a sort of fair-ground, circusy tune, Fluttershy realized, barely believing any of what she saw. Doo. doo. Doo. doo.

Pinkie was giggling wildly. She gasped again, switched instantly to an expression of utter seriousness and dove headlong into the swarm hosts’ back, a quickly uttered “give me just a sec” getting out as she dissappeared.

Fluttershy looked to their little party of zerg creatures. (She was sure Pinkie would have appreciated the terminology) They seemed rather placid about the whole thing, as if to try and comprehend the leading minds of their little swarm would only bring on unnesscary headache.

The swarm host grunted and shifted in place uncomfortably. From it’s back Fluttershy could have sworn, of all impossibilities, she heard the sounds of saws cutting through wood, and hammers driving down nails. But no, there was Pinkie rising up again on the air, this time on a plume of dust. The strangest, most highly concussive yet eerily captivating sneeze rocked the big zerg creature, and a plume of sawdust shot out of it.

“Come on in!” Pinkie shouted happily. “I’ve just got the kettle on!”

Curisioity dragged at Fluttershy with all the gravity of a neutron star. She peered over the quivering, fleshy edge. “It...doesn’t mind?”

Pinkie popped back up, leaning her elbow on the edge. “Nah, not one bit. It’s what she was designed for.” Pinkie glanced at the measuring tape that was still in her hoof. “Sort of.”

“Wait!” Fluttershy squeaked by way of polite interruption, before Pinkie could drop back in again. “She was just alone out here?”

“Yeah,” Pinkie said, nodding. Her eyes went vapid for a half-second, but Fluttershy didn’t miss it happening. “She’s sterile. All ‘host’ and no ‘spawn.’ So her old swarm left her behind.” After a second of sombre thought, Pinkie brightened instantly. “Oh! I think we might even get cable broadcasts in here!” Pinkie let go and fell back inside. She clapped loudly; a light down in the cavernous space blinked on.

After a moment’s consideration, Fluttershy followed her friend in. She could just hear the kettle boiling now, and preferred to make the tea herself (on account of Pinkie always adding far too much sugar.)