"... And then I did a sonic rainboom. It was the best. Wedding. Ever!"
"Uh huh," was Jakes reply to Rainbow Dashes story. Like the others in the odd group, Jake had long ago lost interest on the subject of the pegasus' stories of bravado. At first, he was absolutely enthralled by just the thought of speaking with a pegasus who could breach the sound barrier and leave a wave of colour in her wake, but he soon learned just how much the mare in question liked to brag. And as it turned out, she did it A LOT.
"And there was this one time where-"
And almost immediately, the polychromatic mare was silenced when a giant metal finger rose up, and had pressed its tip against her mouth. "Please, just let me... Process the stories I've already got from you. One at a time is more then enough, especially if one story took more than four hours to say." To say she was stunned by how fast Jakes machine could move was an understatement. The other ponies, along with Rainbow, gave a shudder at just how fluid the Goliath's movements were. Almost as if it wern't a machine meant purely for killing, but a living being. "*sigh* Look, I'm sorry I cut you off like that, but this suit does require a bit of concentration to operate, and your... Awesome stories aren't really helping." It was half the truth, though the NIP does give the pilot that "neural link" between man and machine, it still requires concentration to utilize the onboard equipment. Just not as much as he lead to believe.
"Ok then," the crestfallen mare replied. "So how do these suits use cannons?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"You said that battle suits use cannon back in the glade," Twilight interjected.
"Cannon? We haven't used proper cannon for at least a hundred or so years. Though to be honest, there are a few guys I knew that had exo-suits with huge machine guns. WAY bigger than a .50 cal, but nowhere near as powerful as a proper battle suit."
"If you haven't used black powder technology for that long, then how do your... Battle suits use cannons?"
"Hold on, are you thinking I use an explosive powder for my autocannon?" Jake asked with a slight chuckle.
"How else would you propel the cannon ball down range? Throw them?" came the Alicorn's snarky reply. The battle suit came to a halt, and doubled over as the cockpit opened up to reveal Jake laughing himself stupid. As he was still laughing, Jake sent his suit into a shutdown and he unfastened himself. But still continued chuckling as he climbed up to the large box like piece on the back of the Goliath.
"You're a fucking good one, Sparky, that was the best laugh I've had in a long time," he stated as he opened up a hatch on the munitions pack, stuck his hand in, and grunted with a bit of effort as he pulled out a silver, bullet like object about the diameter of a unicorns horn, and about half the length. When he dropped it to the ground, it impacted with a loud thud, and buried itself in the dirt. When he jumped down, he walked over to the miniture crater and hoisted the object up for all to see. "Though I do know my suit would be able to throw this thing, I'm not too sure about a regular bloke on foot," beads of sweat were starting to form on his brow, so Twilight took the silver object in her magic, then was shocked at how heavy the object was with magic alone.
"What in Equestria is this?!"
"That, would be a 30mm Depleted Uranium slug for the Dire Wolf autocannon." Twilight just gave the human a quizzical look, "Remember that thing I... Showed you at Applejacks?" Twilights eyes lit up in realization.
"That thing was a weapon?!"
"Yup, and a pretty good one at that. Makes pretty short work of even a Diamond Back."
"Y'all shoved a weapon in her face?!" Applejack joined.
"YOU WHAT?!?!" Celestia's face was almost maroon with anger. How dare this barbarian point a weapon at her student!
"Hey what the fuck?! She started it!" he said as he stabbed a finger at the lavender pony.
"I did not!" Twilight retorted.
"Did so!"
"Did not!"
"I was just testing my swords! YOU were the one who shot that sparkly shit at me!"
"I though you were going to hurt Applejack's sister!"
"So you admit to it then, because I was doing REPAIRS! You opened fire on me without warning, if you were on MY world, I would have just trod on you and cleaned my foot off later without a seconds thought! I was just being nice!"
"Nice?! You put a weapon to my head, and I didn't do anything wrong!"
Jake showed his frustration and sudden disinterest in their argument by throwing his pale arms into the air, and looked over to a fuming Celestia. "I didn't do shit. I didn't start fuck all, I was testing repairs. Tell 'er AJ," he said as he waved his hand in the gap between the farm pony and princess, indicating for her to tell Celestia what really happened.
"It was mah fault actually. I left Jake with Apple Bloom so he could fix his machine, and ah went to go git Twilight. When we came back, ah forgot to mention to Twi that he'd be in his machine. So when we got back, Jake drew his swords to test them and Twi jus' reacted. But it was mah fault, I shudda told her before hoof," she recalled as she made circles in the dirt with a hoof.
Celestia calmed down after Applejacks explanation, "*sigh* Twilight, Jake. I want you both to apologize to each other, and also Jake. If I ever hear about you harming one of my ponies in any shape or form, I will kill you." her gaze hardened as she let that last sentence sink in. Jake just lifted an eyebrow and nodded in understanding.
Twilight shuddered, she'd never heard her mentor ever speak like that to another being before, but nevertheless she turned to meet the human's gaze. "Jake, I appologize for my earlier transgressions. It was unbecoming of me, and I hope to be friends with you instead of enemies." She jumped back a bit when Jake thrust out a hand.
"... Are you going to shake on it?"
Twilight stared at the appendage in confusion, "But, you haven't apologized yet."
"This is how humans generaly appologize. We shake hands and merely accept what we've done wrong. Essentially it's the almost literal term of "kiss and make up". No awkward moments, no words spoken, just simple action that says it all in one go." And with that, Twilight layed her hoof in Jake's rough and callouse hand, to which he gave a short and sharp shake, then simply let Twilights hoof fall away from his firm grip.
"Now can we hear about your cannon?" Rainbow whined from a cloud above the group.
"Can do, now you can ask me anything you want to know," he said as he went back to the object on his left arm.
"What's that thing on your arm?" Surprisingly, it was Celestia that asked the question.
Jake continued to poke about on its glowing surface, "This? It's a computer," he stated simply, as a hatch on the right arm of the suit opened up, and a six barreled weapon fell out and extended to its full length before the ponies. Making Fluttershy dive into the nearest bush from the suddenness, and loud noise accompanied by "setting up" the gun.
"Surely that's not a computer dearie, no computer can be that small," Rarity exclaimed.
"Uhh... Yes they can, I hold the proof in more then one form."
"But... I've seen some of the most advanced computers in Equestria, and they aren't anywhere near that size," Twilight stated.
"Let me guess. They take up a whole building, and can only make pretty flowers on a piece of paper out of binary?" The silence was compelling. "... Thought so, but I'm telling you now, this IS a computer and I have four others in my suit. And the one on my arm is a lot more powerful then your most advanced building."
"But..." was all she could blabber out.
"But nothing, I run around in a fucking sci-fi movie set," then he held his arm up to the shocked ponies. "This isn't even the smallest one we humans have. The smallest one I know of can fit in my palm. Now, onto my... "cannon"." Jake went and plucked the round of ammunition from Twilight's magic with a small grunt.
"Finally..." Rainbow said as she sat on the ground.
"Right then, first up the Dire Wolf AC fires these little baby's at roughly 5000 rounds a minute, at a range of up to five kilometers, but the gun is accurate to only one kilometer."
Twilight's jaw hung from her head, "But that's impossible! Nothing can fire that fast or that far!"
"Again, I hold evidence that says otherwise, but that's not the defining feature of this gun and it's ammo," Jake then looked over to Dash. "These bullets are fired via gauss, rail to be precise, at over seven times the speed of sound."
Rainbow Dash fainted.
"Whats gauss? And why do you need such a heavy projectile?" Luna asked, finally deciding to join in.
"Magnetic induction. But these are fired via a rail system, meaning that on each barrel there are two electro magnets running along the barrel that send the bullets at those speeds. And the reason why for Depleted Uranium is because of its density. I'm quite often shooting things with hardened steel and ceramic armour, and reqular old lead and copper is too soft for the job, not to mention they'd just melt in the barrel from the velocity."
"So that's why yer machine weighs so much," Applejack said, catching on with the subject.
"Yup, I've got enough ammo for a small campaign if I fire in short bursts. 40 percent of my suits overall mass is just in ammunition alone. I could have actually finished my fight with the wyvern in under a second with just one shot."
"One shot?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow of doubt.
Jake pointed to the bullet by his feet, "You felt how heavy that was, now imagine that traveling at Mach seven, then hitting soft flesh. I could kill ten of those things with one shot, but I've always limited my use on this gun, simply because of how rare DU is. Now that I'm here, I probably couldn't even get any, but if you guys had tungsten then it'd be a whole different ball game."
"We have tungsten, how much would thou require?" Luna calmly stated.
"How much could you give me?"
"How fast does your weapon fire?"
"I already told you, 5000 a minute."
"..."
"*sigh* You want a demo, don't you?" this received a nod from all ponies present and conscious. "Alright then, but I am telling you now that you'll want to cover your ears."
"Is... Is it loud?" came the meek question of Fluttershy.
Jake stared at the shy pegasus in what one would call... Amused confusion. "Well... The cockpit is hermetically sealed, and I can't hear anything until the external microphones hear something themselves. Even without the external mics, it's loud enough to shake the teeth in my head, so I would have to say very loud."
"Hold on just a second," Twilight called out. "If you had the option of listening to Rainbow Dash for these past few hours, then what were you really listening to?"
"andshecallsherselfsmart... It's because I can't turn them off," Jake said as he strapped himself in. "They are constantly working as a safety precaution. Not to mention that you'd WANT to hear what's going on in the battlefield. All they do is limit how manny decibels are reaching my ears, while I'm in this thing you can scream and shout as much as you want. But I'll hear it at the level of a regular convocation." Twilight looked down to her front hooves and shuffled the soil around them in embarrassment. "But seriously, cover your ears."
As Jake continued to ready his war machine for a weapons demonstration, Celestia cast a sound canceling shield around herself, and the others in a cone of silence. All that could be heard was the sound of everypony breathing, and Rarity doing her best to rouse Rainbow Dash from her unplanned nap. They all watched as the cockpit sealed itself around its pilot, and continued to watch as it raised its arm up in front of itself, weapon in tow, and pointed it at the tree line in the direction of Ponyville. What in Equestria is he doing pointing it that way? Wouldn't it be safer to point it into the forest?. Celestia looked down to her sister, who had opened her mouth to say something, when there was an almighty roar.
BBBBRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
All the ponies within the influence of the shield fell to the ground and threw their hooves to their ears. Rainbow Dash being rudely awoken, looked around in a panic for the source of the deafening noise. Celestia fed more magic into the shield, getting a slightly better result, and as she and her sister looked up at the war machine, she saw a massive gout of flame reaching out from the cannon towards the utterly shredded foliage. There was almost a solid beam of white hot metal pouring out from the monstrous weapon, tearing through trees, rocks, anything within its reach. Carving out a path through the thick undergrowth. And in 20 seconds, the most fearsome weapon that ponies had ever laid eyes on, fell silent.
The Goliath let its arm fall to it's side, retracting the weapon as it did, and the cockpit opened up to reveal a smug looking Jake. Celestia released her hold on the protective dome and cautiously walked over to where the giant stood, with the others in tow. And before them lay an almost perfect path through the forest, with Ponyville out in the distance. Almost a kilometer of thick forest, obliterated by the sheer volume of dense projectiles fired by the weapon. She even noted a few boulders, cut almost clean in half by the super sonic metal. "Hey, Celestia," she turned around to find herself face to belly of the titan. "I've always wanted to do that, but on a side note," he held out a hand, and pinched in between two fingers sat a bullet. The bullet he had shown them earlier. "As a token of peace and allegiance between my species and yours. I know it's not much, but it's all I have."
Celestia took the bullet in her magic, and smiled back up to the human, "But a token it is, and an allegiance my sister and I are more then happy to have. I just pray that you use your weapons and technology for the greater good of my ponies."
Jake commanded his suit onto a knee, and bowed his head in respect, "Just say the word, Celle."
Luna and Celestia smirked at how this human made a historical event, and then ruined it by giving Celestia a pet name, "You humans are weird, but let us be off. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be late for your party."
"Not a fucking chance!" Jake said as he gingerly picked up a catatonic Fluttershy, and followed the princesses out of the forest.
Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity all stood there in shock of what had just transpired.