//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5: Girl for a day!? 
// Story: Wanderer's Journey: Brony War! 
// by LonesomeWanderer 
//------------------------------//

Ponyville camp...
"You'll be fine darling!"

"This is the worst idea, I know since I've made bad ones before!"

Wanderer and Rarity were arguing over her plan, a simple infiltration plan, but Wanderer had to take on the look of a girl... wait... huh?

"I don't see what the big problem is darling! You'll be accepted by the brutes almost immediately!"

Wanderer was blushing at this point, "Yeah, but happens to me when they want a piece of this action?" He suddenly felt even worse, "Oh no! I'm not going after getting that picture stuck in my head!"

Fluttershy spoke up even though her voice wasn't very strong, "There is no other way that will get us in though... please...?" She tried putting on a cute face while begging.

Wanderer sighed in annoyance, "Don't let me regret this..." He struck his fist against the ground, "Ouch... I'll... do it... where's the dress?"

Rarity whisked him into her tent and behind one of those dressing walls and got to work on his (I mean her) appearance.

Two hours later...
Katherine, Derpy, Fluttershy, and the crusaders stood in front of Rarity's tent. Rarity had called them to see what they had thought of Wanderer's appearance.

Rarity walked out of the tent and said, "Ahem... ladies, I present to you, Yumi!"

Wanderer walked out reluctantly with a red face, he had a jacket on and his hair had an extension covering his left eye. He tried his best to sound like a girl, "So... how do I look?"

The group was very surprised by how he looked and each of them tried not to laugh at how perfectly he looks as a girl.

"Um... I think it... suits you." Fluttershy said through clenched teeth, she obviously was trying to not laugh either.

"I... like her hair." Sweetie Belle wasn't hiding her laughter very well either.

Scootaloo and Applebloom couldn't say anything as they laughed to each other. Wanderer looked much more embarrassed and admitted, "I want revenge after this..." He muttered to himself.

Katherine said in a soft voice, "It's going to be alright, don't worry!"

Rarity quickly shoved an earpiece into Wanderer's hands, "Put this on your ear so that I can communicate with you when you get into the camp." Wanderer still looked embarrassed so Rarity added, "Suck it up darling! If you go in like that, you'll attract too much attention!"

Wanderer regained his composure and let out a sigh, "I'm going now!" He walked away from camp and went towards Ponyville.

Wanderer stood in front of the gate hoping that someone would notice him (her), but nobody was guarding the gate. He spoke into the earpiece with his girliest voice, "Man... there's no one here... I wanted to go in the front door, but it looks like no one knows the meaning of guard."

Katherine spoke back, "It could be that they're celebrating their first town captured."

"A party!?" Pinkie yelled, it nearly destroys Wanderer's eardrum.

Rarity spoke for everyone: "Pinkie, what are you doing here?"

Wanderer was climbing the wall while they bickered, "I'm here because I heard "celebrating" and thought that somepony was having a party! However it looks like the only thing going on is a party for computer nerds. I don't mind!" Pinkie explained, as usual no one knows how she got there so quickly.

Wanderer got to the top of the wall and jumped down onto the roof of a building, he then whispers into his earpiece, "Yumi has come to town!"

Katherine read out his objective, "Alright, you need to find Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. You also need to find out how we assault the castle!"

Wanderer looks toward the gate control room, "I could try to get to the gate controls after finding those two if needed."

Rarity confirms this, "It'd be best if you did that! Good thinking!"

Pinkie suddenly bursts laughing, "Come on! Anypony would think to do that! Even the bronies that play one or two video games!"

I seriously doubt she'll stop that... oh well! Wanderer thought to himself before jumping down to street level and going into a nearby club. It was full of humans dancing to the beat of some techno music. On the stage were an exhausted Octavia and Vinyl Scratch playing music. They both looked sick of playing for the club.

When Wanderer entered he saw some women softly speaking to men and following them into rooms blindly. This looks like a real life club, maybe I should be careful and look even more gothic. "Hey lady!" Wanderer scared to turn to the voice tried to walk away with his dignity, "Get over here and dance with me on the floor!"

Wanderer forced himself over and tried to dance, but couldn't dance well, so he started making gossip, his voice squeaky he said, "So... um... what do you think about the ponies playing that music?"

The man answered, "Fantastic!" Suddenly the music stopped and everyone looked at him, "Err... I mean..." Two men came out of a door that said "Private" and dragged him into it. The music came back on and very faintly you could hear him screaming, "AH!!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!"

Wanderer made his/her way through the dance floor and made it towards a point of interest (Place closest to Vinyl and Octavia). He made his way to them, but suddenly some woman yells, "Looks like a lady wants to dance for us on stage!" The cheering for Wanderer was very approving and loud, don't forget loud! "Come on up little lady! The woman was on top of the stage and waiting for Wanderer, he made his way onto the stage and stood next to her, "What's your name?"

Wanderer muttered something like, "I-I'm Y-Yumi."

The woman tells everyone: "This is Yumi! She seems very shy, but try to be nice when she unleashes the best of her dancing!" Every one was cheering or laughing.

I didn't want to dance in front of everyone when I talked to them! I don't think I can do this! 

One voice cut into his mind, "Dude! Cut that out! You're killing the jam vibes!" It was Vinyl who spoke, and she smiled while saying it, which probably meant she knew who he was. Of course... women know a lot more than men! That, or everyone in here is an idiot! Wanderer thought to himself. Vinyl quickly put a new disk onto the DJ table, "Here's a blast for everyone from DJ-PON3!" 

Wanderer suddenly felt his body moving on its own, Well this feels like a miracle! He noticed Vinyl using her magic. When he looked at himself he looked like he was positively glowing, It's nice to know somepony knows I can't dance, but she's exhausted. An excuse to get her off the stage! He kept to the rhythm, but at some point he could do it by himself.

The crowd was imitating Wanderer's dance, which was a simple back and forth movement with a hand swipe and turn. The music was a mix of classic bass violin and techno bleeps and bloops. After this music ended, both Octavia and Vinyl fainted from exhaustion. The crowd instantly went into a riot, throwing things at Wanderer because nobody was operating the turntable. The woman was in shock and couldn't do anything.

Wanderer made a quick decision, "EVERBODY, SHUT UP!" He yelled as girly as he could, everyone remained silent to hear what he had to say, "Now... these two ponies cannot play in their condition, because you asked to much of their ability. We're not going to have any more music to punish your wants!"

"But one of them has every-night jam sessions!"

Wanderer quickly yelled, "How do you know that fact? She's a pony that was just obtained yesterday, right?"

Everyone gave that guy the stink eye before the two men took him away, "I'M SORRY!!!" He screamed from the private room.

"Anyways... I'm going to take them to their rooms so that they can rest! Good night!" Wanderer yelled to everyone as he carried the ponies to the rooms. He quickly opened the window and took them out of the club.

As soon as they got out Vinyl and Octavia woke up, "Dude, are we out of that place?"

Wanderer placed them on the ground, "You both faked that? I'm proud of the show of deceit!"

Octavia spoke elegantly, "Thank you! Time for us to leave this horrid place! Where is our first stop?"

Wanderer got them into the gate control room, but there was something wrong... "There are dudes in there dude!" Vinyl said as they opened the door.

Wanderer walked in as though he didn't care that the men were in there. The men aimed bows at him, but were surprised when he fell down acting like he was exhausted, "Hey, girl! Wake up!" The smaller of the two said as he shook Wanderer awake. When Wanderer acted to wake up, then he was pulled closer to the man, "Are you okay? Do you need medical attention?"

Wanderer pulled out the man's dagger deftly and softly said, "I-I'm fine, but..." He suddenly stabs the man's neck, "You're not!"

The other guy pulled back the bowstring and shot an arrow at Wanderer. The arrow was stopped by the dead body Wanderer made. Wanderer took the bow and shot the bigger of the two and spoke into his earpiece, "Rarity, I hope that invasion plan is ready."
Rarity answered in a determined voice, "Of course darling! We're waiting for you to open the gate!"

The crusaders said, "We're in this fight too! Open that gate now!" Wanderer did so and saw them lead the charge into Ponyville, "We're going to take you all down!" They yelled as they ran in. The streets erupted into a full-on battle.

Wanderer just stood near the window overlooking Ponyville, "This is a great achievement! Nopony seems to be getting a scratch!"

Suddenly a flash lights up Wanderer when he takes off the hair extension, "Yeeeeaaaah! I bet everyone in the military will want to hear about that heroic deed!" Vinyl says after putting away her camera, "Dude, you might become famous because of this! Maybe if you're lucky..." She takes off her sunglasses and stares at Wanderer with her velvet red eyes, "Maybe even get an audience with a princess!"

Wanderer looked strangely at her, "I highly doubt that. Though, that would be nice..."

Octavia simply looked out at the fighting, "This fighting would get their attention of course. However... this fighting needs to stop! I can't believe we have to fight for a simple good night's sleep!" She looked very angry about the fighting.

Wanderer looked at her and said, "If you want your life back, then you may have to fight for it."

Octavia snapped, "I know that! But why do the humans want to fight us so badly? We never did anything to deserve a princess's death!"

Wanderer was surprised to hear this, "One of your princesses died?" Octavia nodded, "I'm sorry, I never knew... you do realize that is a lie, right?"

Vinyl suddenly spoke up, "No, Celestia is dead. Everypony tried to find her, but she presumed dead after we started getting attacked by the humans. Why do you think she's not dead?"

"I think a god-like deity would be able to make herself disappear. Dude, how could you not realize that?" Wanderer answered.

Besides... if she's dead, then who called me?

Octavia replied with newfound malice, "She's as mortal as us! It's possible she did die!"

Wanderer spoke back, "Even so, that princess can make herself invisible at any time... she is an alicorn after all."

They ran down to join the fight, but all the humans were defeated as soon as they came down. The streets were lined with the bodies of humans. Both on ours and theirs... I guess I jinxed it when I said none of our guys were getting any scratches. Oh well... you fight some, you lose some, Wanderer said coldly.

Here comes morning, to change the time of day!
"Do you understand why I need somepony to guide me now?" Wanderer had explained what kind of situation he was in for two chapters straight.

Rarity was the first to answer, "Of course we do, but..." she scraped the ground with her hoof, "We don't have anyone that isn't a big asset to the defense of this town to give to you."

Katherine raised her hand, "I'll go! It'll be nice to go back to Cantorlot!"

Rarity objected, "You have gate guard duty starting tomorrow! Sorry... we don't have anypony." 

Wanderer looked at strangely, "What do you mean? There's one pony and..." he paused, then put on a confident smile, "I didn't say I needed an escort."

Rarity acted surprised, "Looks like you're finding a loophole. Alright, who is it? Is it Derpy?" She started laughing as anyone would. However Wanderer never changed his expression, "Y-You're seriously..."

"Of course, she would be training along the way seeing as how you don't seem confident in her ability." Wanderer replied. 

Derpy came over to them and asked, "So who is running off with him?" Rarity reluctantly pointed at Derpy, "Um... y-you're kidding... right?" She looked between Rarity, Wanderer, and Katherine, "I-I don't know what to say... I have a daughter to take care of, and I can't go off on another adventure or she'll assume I don't like her anymore. Why do you even want to go there anyway?"

Wanderer crossed his arms, "I know that a certain pony there was one of lead scientists that made the D.J.D. thing. He's um... the Doctor? Do you know him?"

Derpy's eyes shot open, "Y-You want t-to see the Doctor?" She immediately looks away, "Now my choice is much harder..."

Wanderer gave Rarity a strange look, "You sure there isn't a way I could easily get there and back quickly? She can't leave her daughter alone."

Derpy answered for Rarity, "There is no better route to Cantorlot. You go straight to the city on foot or by wing."

Wanderer clapped his hands, "That does it then! I shall go across the land to find the Doctor!" He took a fierce stance, "Look out, Cantorlot! Here comes the Wanderer!"

"HOLD IT!" Derpy cried out suddenly, "I've made my decision!" She points her hoof at Wanderer, "I'm coming with you!"

Wanderer stood a bit back from her, "Whoa girl! No need for shouting!" He looked at each of them, "Well... if you got some kind of plan for that kid of yours, I'll let you come with."

Derpy replied, "I'll have Cherilee babysit her."

Wanderer thought to himself for a second, Do I really want to drive a family apart? That'd be kind of rude. Time for the decision! He then replied, "Best if you got ready for whatever we're going to face on the road. We might run into some other humans, and I want to bring you back to Dinky without any scratches."

Derpy happily answered his request of her, "I will! Thank you!"

The cards have been set into motion, Ponyville has been saved by Wanderer, he now knows where to go, and on the way to the gate he found a penny! Find a penny, pick it up, and all day, you'll have good luck! What was I doing again? Be prepared for a fight! This won't be some run-of-the-mill average fight sequence, it'll be a fight for his life!

The end of Chapter 5... after a short amount of time in the white room! (You again, don't need to see this unless you absolutely need his backstory)

Wanderer was sitting in a chair, he notices that you've entered and says, "Oh, hey... I think that my adventures are very tiring, but with the support of you people, we can keep being creative. For instance... listen to this haiku Author made..."

"The white room, empty...
"As if haters owned this place.
"Emptiness be theirs!
"For I have a life to act...
"They aren't bad, but they...
"Never seem to get nicer here.
"Either way, I belong...
"No matter what they say there...
"That is all portrayed!
"Here, in the empty universe!
"I'm full of questions,
"but do not have any time.
Sincerely yours, Author."

Wanderer coughed, "You're not here about haikus though, you're here to hear my answers... Here's the first one!"

Humbucker asks, "Who are you and how did you end up in this predicament?"

"Of course this would be the first question... get a snack, this may be a little long..." Wanderer starts off, "I can't tell you my name, but hear me out first! I have amnesia, and no I don't mean the game. How I got into this trouble is because of your gods, Celestia, Jesus, etc. and with a good reason... sort of. I was taken down with my universe of Pakuna by a paradox. Surprise, surprise, right?"

He waves his arm, "Of course, you aren't believing my amnesia story right now, but here's some more info: I cheated death!" 

He stands up and walks back and forth, "My universe had its own source of magic, and I knew how to use the dark arts. Lo and behold the paradox came and I decided to initiate my plan... a sacrificial thing to be honest. Basically, those cards I keep with me are like my light arts, but if I combine certain cards, I can use the dark arts to teleport myself into heaven and the gods would see it as I had been killed by someone random. However..." 

He sat back down and looked away awkwardly, "I done messed up! I used the wrong set of cards and ended my life by myself, but my gods saw this not as a suicide, but as an offering of my soul to purge any and all paradoxes. This wasn't what I had expected to happen and I even tried to tell them that I did it to get out of being put into the never-ending nightmare. They just said, 'This was your choice. No matter what you try to do, we will have you save multiple universes in danger of paradox implosion.'"

He suddenly hits the chair aside and grabs the camera, "I have to live for an infinite amount of years looking out for the balance when the gods can't do anything about it! Do you know how many times I get called out for a paradox? Three, that's right, three times every ten years! I don't have anything to do here! They don't even let me have any fun while I wait inevitably for another universe to get into trouble!"

He throws the camera against the ground and stomps on it until it can no longer get a signal. A new one appears in it's place while Wanderer continues, "The gods are worse than... I have no idea, because they never restored my memory! They just thought, "Oh, hey! Let's scatter his teen mind into a bunch of pieces and put them into random universes!" They don't even have the dignity to let me remember my friends!" 

Wanderer walked towards the fallen over chair and sobs, "Now that you know my history, just leave, there are no more questions anyway. Think about your future before doing something stupid like me." 

Well... this calls for one thing! Saving your game now! Say something back!
A-Alright... (Insert statement here)
OR
I-Is he a-alright?