//------------------------------// // An Imaginary Citizen // Story: Only an Imaginary Friend // by i_am_the_jam //------------------------------// √-1 √-1 √-1 An Imaginary Citizen [WINK!!!] A sudden burst of magic, coupled with a magical sounding ping, announced the arrival of the unicorn stallion in Ponyville. However, this particular burst was gold-earth in colour, and the “ping” was lower pitched than that of a certain purple unicorn mare with OCD. It was also louder, indicating that the unicorn had teleported a very long distance. Namely, halfway between Ponyville and Canterlot. Not that anypony was around to hear or see him. As was his habit, he was visiting early in the morning. As was also his habit, he did not appear on the north side of town, nearest to his house, but on the south side, firstly, because one of his friends worked nearby, and secondly, because it was a shorter distance to the Market District and Town Hall from the south side than from the north side, and he didn’t want to walk through the rest of the town. He trotted past Sweet Apple Acres, waving a hoof to his best friend Macintosh, who was exiting the barn with several tools. Imaginary continued his trot north, past the local vineyard now, and there he saw a brown unicorn mare with glasses, apparently supervising her hired farmhooves as they tended to the vines. However, he couldn’t help but notice that more than supervising, she was staring holes into the wings of a silver pegasus stallion who was facing away from her. It was difficult to suppress a chuckle, and he almost forgot that he was on his way to Town Hall. “Enjoying the…fine morning, Miss Grapes?” he asked, snapping her out of her trance. “Gah! Imaginary! Gracious, you’re worse than A.J.,” Grapes uttered. “Worse? I thought every pony awake heard me wink in a few minutes ago. I still have to fix the long distance volume of that…” “I heard the wink, figured it was you, and dismissed it. Then you come up, all soft-hoofed, and startle me.” “Soft-hoofed? I supposed it rained earlier…but considering how heavy I am, it would be quite a feat for me to trot noiselessly. Are you sure I didn’t…break your concentration?” “Wait…what?” “You seemed rather engrossed in your supervision that you didn’t hear me trot up to your gate. I suppose you must be overseeing something quite…complex for you not to have noticed me. But as long as I’m here, do you have any of that asparagus wine left?” Grapes blinked. “Not very much. It’s good for lamps, and cleaning farm implements, but I would not recommend drinking it.” “Well, I never said I was going to drink it. Your cousin Macintosh gave me a sample of some of what you gave to his sister. Its solvent qualities are just what I was looking for in a research study I’m doing.” “That’s what A.J. gets for not saying it had to be palatable,” Grapes observed, trotting to her cellar. As she went to get the wine, Imaginary noticed some of the male farmhooves working about. He thought for a moment, and then strained slightly to pull a paper out of his unruly mane. A blonde unicorn with blue eyes and a goatee came up to him. “Hey, dude. ‘Sup?” “Good morning, sir. I’m just a customer of Miss Grapes.” “I’m Dusty. Grapes’ cousin. I’m kinda helpin’ out.” “Pleased to meet you. I’m Imaginary…and before you ask, yes, I’m also quite real. Are you visiting along with the other farmhooves?” Dusty smiled a bit, and pointed out a glittery light blue pegasus mare. “I, uh, don’t go too far from her. That’s Queenie.” “And who is the big silver guy over there?” “That’s Stormfront. Grapes’ Very Special Somepony.” “I kinda figured that a few minutes earlier,” he chuckled. “Well, since you all are more or less visiting here, have you heard of the charity event that will be held for the local orphanage?” “Yeah. I’ve donated some, ‘cause I can’t enter.” Imaginary studied the colt for a moment. “Odd, you seem old enough…unless you already have a VSSP.” “Queenie would probably skin me alive if I tried. I’m mildly famous.” “Ah, enough said. Well, I see other stallions here, so in case they haven’t heard of the bachelor auction, here’s the…here’s the……” he struggled to keep it upright and float it over to the colt, “…here’s the official notice, ugh. Maybe Mr. Front will be interested.” “Not really,” Dusty said taking the notice from him. “Bet Firestormer would be though.” “Well, just pass it around. It is for charity after all. Maybe Mr. Front will rake in twice as much as my friend Mr. Biceps.” “Grapes would be the one who’d want to bid on him, but she’s gotta save the bits for the farm…and I don’t have much to lend her. Some of the pegasi mares would love to have him for a date…” “Don’t be surprised if mares form herds to pool their funds to outbid the others,” he whispered. Sour Grapes came back with a small cask. “Here you go.” Imaginary hoofed over several bits. “Thank you kindly, Miss Grapes.” He then closed his eyes, his horn glowed, and with another loud pop, the cask disappeared. “Also, I’m sure you’ve heard of the charity event coming up next weekend. I’ve given your helpers more information, in case they want to help out.” “You mean the Stallion Auction?” “Well, it’s the Bachelor Auction; I don’t think it’s limited to ponies. Anyone can sign up, as long as they’re male, and available.” Imaginary was about to leave, but then he whispered to her, “Though, I would hurry things up with the Object of the Morning Analysis if I were you…unless you don’t mind him being auctioned off, even if it is for only one night.” “Wait…what?” “Thank you, Miss Grapes, I’ll see you later,” he said in his normal volume, and he trotted off to Town Hall, leaving behind a rather confused mare. √-1 √-1 √-1 As he trotted past the farms, he looked behind him to see way off in the distance a treehouse near the edge of the feared Everfree. Now, as a citizen of Canterlot, Imaginary had been to the palace several times, and he had attended the recent knighting of the Bearers the Elements, after their victory over the chaotic chimera, Discord. He had seen and heard of their exploits, starting with the Prolonged Night at last year’s Summer Solstice, and the subsequent purification and re-introduction to Equestria of Her Highness Princess Luna. So with all of that information, he very much knew who lived in that semi-isolated house: Dame Fluttershy, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Kindness. He had heard of how Dame Fluttershy was quite the introvert, perhaps as much as he was, but even so, that didn’t prevent her from wrestling bears, if Mr. Biceps’ reports were true. Not to mention that Dame Fluttershy single-hoofedly threw out a dragon from Canterlot Valley and even broke a cockactrice’s petrification spell, too. And the fact that she lived near the Everfree Forest showed that despite her being shy, she wasn’t exactly helpless, either. Perhaps it was best if he kept his distance from a pony as powerful as her… Nearby was Sweet Apple Acres, home of his friend Big Macintosh, and his sister, Dame Applejack, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Honesty. It is said that it’s almost impossible to lie to an Apple. It is also said that it’s almost impossible for an Apple to lie. Whether those two rumours were true or not, it was much more recommendable to befriend an Apple than to antagonise one. While he knew that Macintosh was quite friendly, the Apple family was also known for their short tempers; and coupled with their near-constant muscle-building work at the farm, it certainly wasn’t wise to start any type of quarrel with them, even if one was a unicorn or a pegasus. Or a griffon, if the rumours were true. He met Big Macintosh and his family several years ago when he first moved to his distant house between Ponyville and Canterlot. After making a few calculations and seeing that it was easier to get supplies from Ponyville instead of Canterlot, Imaginary had winked in one very early morning into the market district and saw the Apples setting up their stand. A few polite conversations later about where to get building supplies, and the fact that the two were very muscular males, was enough for the two to strike up a friendship. Bulk Biceps completed the trio a week later; he landed in front of Imaginary’s house and informed him he had seen the house from a distance, and since it was closer to Ponyville than Canterlot, Imaginary would have to place his weather orders at the Ponyville Weather Office, and Bulk would assist him in doing so. Still, while he was good friends with Macintosh, and by extension, his younger sisters and grandmother, Imaginary couldn’t help but feel somewhat apprehensive whenever Applejack was nearby. Perhaps it was the fact that she was co-owner of Sweet Apple Acres and was very likely much stronger than him; after all, she had helped defeat a hydra, harvested over half the orchard once, and could probably uproot a tree if she kicked it hard enough. In fact, some ponies say that it was her strength that impressed the buffalo tribes so much, that because of that they eagerly signed a peace agreement with the ponies of Appleloosa. That, and having saved Equestria twice was also quite impressive…and…he was sad to admit, intimidating. With Macintosh acting as a “buffer”, though, he would be sure to never get on Applejack’s bad side. Imaginary continued trotting toward the town proper, and first he passed an empty park, then a building that looked like a very stylish merry-go-round. Carousel Boutique, home of Dame Rarity Belle, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Generosity. A unicorn like himself, she was also a seamstress, fashionista, and according to her cutie mark, an experienced gem locator. Though despite her alleged daintiness, she was not a mare to be trifled with. If what Macintosh told him—that is, relaying what Applejack saw—was true, Dame Belle had calmed a great sea serpent, and subdued an entire pack of Diamond Dogs and plundered their gem hoard, using only a smidgen of her magic font. The rumours of Rarity’s telekinetic powers had spread throughout Canterlot, especially after her brief stints with another fashionista and a professional photographer; it was said that she could control over 100 objects simultaneously, hence, her ability to produce practically en masse any clothing order of any style or combination. Also, from Macintosh’s reports, she was nearly as busy as Imaginary was, so it was doubtful he would ever meet that Knight. Then again, it was doubtful she would want to: she had managed to set practically all of Canterlot in an uproar after what she did to His Highness Prince Blueblood at the last Grand Galloping Gala. Some nobles were actually amused, and quite a few were more than shocked and offended, but it was clear that the majority of the nobility now feared that mare, especially when Her Highness Princess Luna openly approved of what she did at the Gala. Like Fluttershy, Rarity was not a mare to be trifled with, despite her prissiness. One wrong word or gesture, and he would become her next pin cushion, with the other Knights’, and Princess Luna’s, blessing and approval. Imaginary approached Town Hall, and he couldn’t help but notice behind it, in the distance, a very, very large tree. Like Fluttershy’s home, the tree had been hollowed out to house a library: Golden Oaks Public Library, to be exact, home of Dame Twilight Sparkle, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Magic, Personal Student of Her Highness Princess Celestia, Two Time Champion of Equestria, and Rescuer of Her Highness Princess Luna. Now that was a mare that could intimidate just about any stallion who knew who she was and what she had done. She also helped in defeating a hydra, ripped away the veil of speciesism from Ponyville, reorganised Winter Wrap-Up in less than one day, tamed an Ursa Minor and floated it single-hoofedly back to the Everfree Forest, and even managed to hypnotise the entire town by herself, too. Not to mention that she had been the only student at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns that managed to hatch that irksome dragon egg that NO PONY was supposed to hatch. Rumours of the size of her magic font said that it was either the size of a pool or even a very large lake. After all, the amount of hornpower that the Elements of Harmony needed to cleanse Princess Luna and petrify the god of chaos Discord was probably matched, barely, by the fonts of the princesses themselves. And the fact that she was able to expend that much magic without burning her horn or even collapsing from magic exhaustion was also quite known among unicorn prodigies like himself. Her telekinesis and teleportation powers were also way beyond his current level, or at least that’s what he could deduce from what Macintosh told him. If Imaginary had been a prodigy at Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, Dame Sparkle was a star, literally, with her talents dwarfing even the most able and nimble of the college, including himself. And perhaps it was his imagination, but whenever he came to town, he could feel Dame Sparkle’s magical signature from a distance. The only two other beings who radiated so much power were the princesses, and that’s when they were close by, but here, next to Town Hall and about 500 metres away from Golden Oaks Public Library, Imaginary could sense a magical presence inside that tree. He would probably need to ask other prodigies from CSGU if what he was feeling was actually there, of course; he didn’t want to start any unnecessary rumours about Princess Celestia’s Personal Student. Then again, whenever Twilight moved about, her magical shine seemed to move about with her as well. And then, of course, there was that display when that pseudo-prodigy, The Great And Powerful Whatshername, decided to show up. Imaginary was working in his home that night when he felt something HUGE in the air. He winked outside and could definitely feel Dame Sparkle’s magical radiance at the same time he saw an Ursa Minor, sound asleep, being levitated back to the Everfree Forest. Even though he was several kilometres away, he doubted that any unicorn worth his/her salt ignored what they felt that night. And any unicorn worth his/her salt would thus be very wise in giving Dame Sparkle all the respect she was due. Some say her parents made her angry and she turned them into potted plants for a minute or two. Which is not to say that he didn’t have close calls with Princess Celestia’s Personal Student. In the few occasions he needed to walk near the library, he made sure to visit only when that fearsome aura wasn’t nearby, but even then, the library practically glowed with her residual magic. And that dragon assistant of hers either simply didn’t sense it, or he was too used to feeling it 24/7. There were also rumours that Dame Sparkle had a laboratory in the library’s basement, filled with equipment that would make jealous anypony of the faculty of the Magic Research Institute where he worked at, and that in that laboratory she conducted top secret experiments, reporting the results only to the princesses. Not that he would ever want to go down there to find out. If he even breathed the wrong way toward Dame Sparkle, her dragon assistant had an Instant Messaging Fire Line linked directly to both princesses, ready to send word to them that their top Knight of Harmony was being attacked, and Imaginary would either be banished, placed in a dungeon, or banished and then placed in a dungeon in the place he was banished to. While he knew that Dame Sparkle was studying Friendship, and was probably just as friendly as Big Macintosh or Bulk Biceps or even himself, the fact that he knew who she was, and who her connections were, and what she could do, were enough to give him cold hooves whenever she was nearby. For now, he had no need to borrow or return a book, though, so he could proceed without problems into Town Hall and sign up for the bachelor auction. He trotted up the stairs and toward the main entrance— —and it was here that he noticed that Town Hall did not open until 10. Face-hooving himself, he snorted at the fact that Ponyville’s government workers did not have as much work as Canterlot’s bureaucrats did, so they opened one hour later, and very likely closed one hour earlier, too. He had no intention of staying out here for another hour, so he decided to come back after lunch, just before the end of the school day, since he had a family errand to run at that time. Stepping down the stairs again, though, he stopped when he saw in the distance a very large cloud structure floating in the sky. Dash Mansion, home to Dame Rainbow Dash, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Loyalty. For the first time, Imaginary snorted. He was aware of Dame Dash’s exploits: managing to achieve Mach 1 on her own wingpower, making the atmosphere explode into a rainbow ring, clearing 200 square kilometres of sky in 10 seconds, and single-hoofedly expelling a bellicose griffon from town. His snort was because he was also aware that Dame Dash, for all her alleged loyalty, power, and exploits… …was a prankster. And not just any average prankster that would simply target close friends and family, with “jokes” innocent enough to have both sides of the prank laughing at the end. No. Being the daredevil she was, he heard that she even dared prank Dame Sparkle herself while she was in the middle of a very dangerous experiment. He didn’t know all the details of the prank, but he did know that an explosion had resulted because of it. He didn’t know if the princesses intervened, though, but he sure hoped that they did. And then… Imaginary huffed. And he snorted again. And then… …then, there was the incident with Her Highness Princess Luna three weeks ago on Nightmare Night… Imaginary shook himself so he wouldn’t be overcome with rage. No, he wouldn’t give Dame Dash anymore thought today. He had given her too much already. He turned… And saw near the market district a pastry-shaped building. He froze in fear momentarily. Sugar Cube Corner Bakery and Confectionary, home to Dame Pinkie Pie, Knight of Harmony and Bearer of the Element of Laughter. He had heard the adage of “laughter is the best medicine”, but from what he heard from Big Macintosh, Laughter, that is, Dame Pie, was, ironically enough, a bitter pill to swallow. It was Dame Pie who had been Dame Dash’s prank partner. Quite a dangerous combination, as the two even dared to prank Princess Celestia herself. He wondered if the princesses were still figuring out what to do about them. While he feared Dame Sparkle, Dame Pie was a pony that actually made him cower. Despite being an earth pony, Macintosh swore that he had seen her teleport, and pull objects from thin air, and she even had a magical ability to foresee events in the immediate future. Even Dame Pie’s very laughter was powerful enough to banish ghosts and goblins in their home turf of the Everfree. But that wasn’t what he feared. What he truly feared was the fact that Dame Pie was very likely NOT a mentally stable pony. And this was from the other Knights of Harmony themselves, too. If Macintosh relayed Applejack’s report correctly, from what had happened at Dame Pie’s last birthday, then it was very likely that Dame Pinkie Pie had some degree of schizophrenia. So if you get a schizophrenic, and pair her up with a prankster… Perhaps it was that aspect of hers that the princesses feared. And it was their combined actions against Her Highness Princess Luna that filled him with fear and apprehension. Which, he knew, placed him in a quandary. While all six of them had restored Princess Luna and defeated Discord and very much deserved their knighthood and their stained glass monuments at the palace, and were thus worthy of honour and respect, Dame Dash’s and Dame Pie’s actions brought about feelings within him that he knew had nothing to do with honour or respect. And not wishing to stay and find out what would happen if those feelings surfaced, Imaginary charged his horn and disappeared.