When Violet entered the building, she was surprised at how spacious it was. Off to her right was a hallway and if she went straight ahead, she’d be placed in a room that had multiple benches and booths as well as several plaques on the far wall that she couldn’t quite make out at this distance. Several fireponies milled about the lobby as she made her cautious way inside.
One of them stopped her and Solace—a rusty coated unicorn that sported a moustache. He held out a hoof and spoke in a gruff tone, “What business do you two have here?”
“Well… see,” she started, swallowing hard. “Do you remember a school fire in a rural town not too far from here? Ten years ago? I understand if you don’t since it was a while ago—”
“Wait,” the firepony said. He put a hoof to his muzzle and nodded slowly. “Vaguely… just vaguely… I was one of the new guys back then and heard all about it. Now, I have my own squad. But I remember it. There was a group of little foals that went inside the burning building and rescued tens of ponies. But… why do you wanna know?”
Violet looked down and mumbled something underneath her breath. Not even Solace caught it and he asked her to speak up. She shook her head and only when Solace put a hoof on her shoulder, kissed her on the cheek, and whispered, “You can do it, Vivi,” did she return her gaze to the firepony and raise her voice.
“I was one of the few foals that rescued all of t-them,” she said, stammering. “I d-did the best I could and I know I didn’t rescue a-all of them, but I did what I thought was r-right.” She looked away, embarrassed, and scolded various insults to herself.
What in the world am I thinking? There’s no way anybody could excuse what I’ve done. I just wasn’t good enough…
“Is that so?” the rusty pony asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who are you, then?”
“V-Violet Vigil, sir…” she said, keeping her gaze on the floor. “I was the first one to go in and two friends of mine followed me. Petal Dance and Quiet Quill. But Quill… didn’t make it.” She winced at the memory, surprised to find that it was still fresh as a wound. “But, I swear, I didn’t want him to die! I just couldn’t get to him!”
The firepony tilted his head and held up a hoof when Violet wouldn’t stop apologizing. “Woah, woah, woah, Violet, hold on. Slow down. What happened?”
Violet took a deep breath and started again, forcing herself to speak at a slower pace. “Me and my friends entered the school to help who we could but we couldn’t help everyone. I got tired quicker than them because I pushed myself more. So I exited the school to rest and Petal stayed with me because I wouldn’t leave Quill behind. But… when Quill came back outside, he was on a stretcher…” she trailed off, shedding a few tears.
“I heard his last words when I got to him and then he…” she stopped and held a hoof to her muzzle, unable to continue. Solace hugged her tight and she buried her face in his shoulder. The firepony sighed and kneeled to speak to Violet at a more appropriate level.
“Violet, losing a loved one is hard,” he said gently. “And, for you, especially hard, it seems. It’s been ten years.”
Nodding, Violet looked at the rusty unicorn. “He was special—the first friend I ever made.”
A pained expression crossed the firepony’s eyes for a moment; after which, he hardened his face and spoke with every bit of determination he could muster. “I can’t make the pain go away, Violet, but I can tell you this. I use what you did all those years ago—that bravery and determination you showed—as an example in my classes. I teach by your standard. Nobody else could have done what you did that day and there are a lot more ponies alive than there would have been if you hadn’t intervened.
“I am sorry that a dear friend of yours died,” he said without stopping. “But you can’t let that memory stop you from… well, doing. Being. Living. What would he say to you if he found you here, now, terrified to even speak of something that happened ten years ago?”
Violet felt a jolt down her spine and stared at him.
“What was he like when he passed, Violet?” When she shook her head, he impressed upon her to remember.
“I… I think he was calm,” she said. “He just told me to… live long, live full, and live loud. Because, even though he wasn’t louder than me… he was loud enough for me. And that was enough for him.”
She nodded as it came back to her. Quill was indeed calm as he passed. The sheer idea that his passing was peaceful put the whole event into a new perspective.
He… he accepted it. He came to terms with his death. And I haven’t.
Violet took a deep breath and pushed herself from Solace, finding a tiny surge of strength in herself. She thought Quill might lament her grieving for so long and she didn’t like that thought. Instead, she took it as a learning experience. No matter what she might do, she would do it in his memory—with the knowledge he had given her just before he passed. That way, there’s a piece of him that will always stay with her and, in a way, he’ll never really die.
The mettle of friendship will keep him alive.
She nodded and took a deep breath, hugging Solace again; after which, she hugged the firepony, too. The two of them thanked the firepony—who turned out to be Ardent Swell—turned, and departed from the fire department. Standing outside once more, Violet took a deep breath of air and turned to Solace.
“Thank you for accompanying me.”
“Of course, Vivi,” he said with a smile. She returned it and looked to the sky, unsure of what to do now. The mare supposed she could stay, if only for a while, until she found an actual job there. But from her past experience in job searching in Manehatten, that thought didn’t please her too much. And she still didn’t want to leech from Zen and Sonorous, no matter how generous they may be. The only course of action left, Violet found, was to leave.
When she explained this to Zen, Sonorous, and Solace back at 3A that night, none of them were surprised. To her relief, Zen was actually supportive, producing the backpack once more from his room.
“If you think it’s best, Vivi, then I trust you,” he said when he returned.
“Just don’t go knocking the jaw of every pony you see,” Sonorous said with a chuckle. “I don’t think they’ll appreciate that much.”
Violet laughed and nodded at that. She turned to Solace, waiting to see what he thought. To her surprise, he shed a tear.
“I’ll miss you,” he whispered and hugged her one last time. “I know you haven’t known me for very long… but you’ve made me so proud.”
Estranged somewhat, Violet returned the hug. “Umm, alright… why are you proud, though?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No,” each of them said. Sighing, Solace pushed her back and looked at each of them in turn.
“I was one of the foals that Vivi saved,” he announced. “I wouldn’t be alive without her and after seeing how deeply that horrible fire affected her…” he trailed off and laughed. “I couldn’t be prouder to see her moving on from it.”
The sheer noise of exclamation that resounded in the room almost made Solace cover his ears with his hooves. As it was, he chuckled and nodded when they asked if it was true.
“I knew that you knew what happened…” Violet breathed. “But… really? That’s how you know me?”
Solace just nodded. “It was ten years ago so I’m not surprised you don’t remember me, especially since you were so preoccupied with Quill… but I’d never forget you.” He smiled wider. “Vivi, if this is the last time that we’ll see each other for a while, let me just say… it has been both an honor and a privilege to have made your acquaintance. I love you with all my heart and I hope that wherever you go, you are met with nothing but love and acceptance. You deserve nothing less.”
Violet gaped and stared at him, tears flowing freely. Above all else, above even what Zen had said to her, that brought her a level of comfort she didn’t know was possible. The pure emotion and affection in his speech was evident as he hugged her even tighter.
“You’ve helped me far more than you know, Vivi… and I thank you.”
She continued staring, barely able to return the hug this time. “Why…?” she asked. “Why do you hold such love for me?”
“Because you are.”
The hug she returned became tenfold tighter. For several moments, they embraced, clenching every muscle they could in an effort to expend all the pent-up emotion that was begging to be expressed. No matter how long they held each other, it never seemed to be enough. Only when Sol pulled away did Vivi do the same.
“You should be on your way,” he said. “If you don’t go now, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to bear seeing you off again.”
Violet nodded and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Sol. I’ll never forget you.”
“Nor I, you.”
She smiled at him and turned to Sonorous. “So… how’d this country bitch do?”
He laughed, if a bit meekly. “She did far better than I ever imagined she could. I doubt I’ll ever be the same having known you, Violet. And that’s a good thing.”
“I should hope so,” she said, her grin widening. “Otherwise, you might find yourself on the wrong end of another punch.” Violet laughed at her own twist of the joke. Sonorous just rolled his eyes.
When Violet turned to Zen, she blushed. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“I guess this is,” he whispered but held his smile. “I look forward to seeing you again.”
“Me, too,” she agreed. After a bit of soul-searching, she wondered if she would still want to return to him. She even pondered whether either of them would be the same and when her mind started to spiral in all the directional possibilities, she stopped every one of them, content with finding out when the time came.
Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. But I’ll never learn if I don’t start.
Violet leaned forward and planted a kiss on his muzzle, uncaring for the consequences because she wanted to imprint the memory of his muzzle on hers. And he returned it; though, not with too much enthusiasm. She was okay with that. When she pulled away, she took a deep breath and turned, donning the backpack with the provisions and, this time, a bit more money to last her even longer. With that and the prospect of finding new jobs and experiences in other towns high in her heart, she turned and walked to the doorway. She gave one last glance at them, smirked, and waved, leaving the apartment.
Her stroll from the building was slow and controlled, a new certainty in her step. The night sky sparkled with a million stars and more, the possibilities of the universe rampant in her mind. She grappled with them and ended up winning, a surreal calm stealing over her as she reached the edge of Manehatten. When she passed by the fire department, she smiled; but also, she stopped. Turning, Violet noted the post office next door. An old thought crossed her mind but she decided against it again. It was too early. Her situation wasn’t stable enough. And, though she’d never admit it, part of her was still hesitant to face the two ponies that still knew nothing about her and haven’t known for the past month. There was still that one part of her that held a sliver of doubt toward what her parents might think of her and the way she had left them; and though it was indeed a sliver, it only took one sliver to poison her mind.
Violet started off once more; this time, in the opposite direction, taking the northern exit from Manehatten. She walked into the confines of the night, appreciative of its unbiased embrace.