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// Arc 2: Unbroken Vigil, chp 7 
// Story: The Mettle of Friendship 
// by Solace Sojourn 
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	Violet did not sleep for the rest of that night. She lay awake, even if she had her eyes closed, thinking about what she might do. Zen simply kept her company, offering what comfort he could with his mere presence and gentle touch. It didn’t go unappreciated, but Violet was far from words. All she did in recognition of his efforts was stop crying and hug him back. They embraced tightly, and were embraced when Sonorous came bursting out of his room, mane frazzled and eyes wide.
“What in the Sisters’ names is going on here?” he had asked in exasperation.
“Vivi had a nightmare…” was all Zen had whispered. Nothing more was said. Sonorous’s expression softened and he joined them for a short while, hugging Violet. He did return to his slumber, however, and stood at his doorway for a moment before heading inside. The pegasus gave both Zen and Violet a concerned look and then closed the door behind him.
When dawn came, Violet rose from the couch and stretched. Zen watched her go, never having returned to sleep. She got herself a glass of water and went about other menial tasks, making sure she could still function properly. Several minutes later, she returned to the couch, Zen’s comforting embrace, and waited for Sonorous to awaken. He did a couple hours later and, after fixing some waffles for them all, addressed the both of his friends.
“Ready to go at it again?”
“Guess we don’t have much of a choice,” Violet said with a sigh. “How much longer are we going to keep this up?”
“As long as we have to,” Zen said gently. “We’re not losing this apartment.” As he said this, he switched his gaze from Violet to Sonorous. “You both hear me? We’re a family, and family sticks together through thick and thin.”
Sonorous nodded and Violet actually managed a smile at that. Maybe today will be better. Emboldened by his words, she said, “I love you guys.”
“Love you, too, Vivi,” Zen said immediately. Sonorous’s eyes widened and he was speechless for a moment; but at length, he smiled himself and said, “I love you, too.”
After breakfast, they left the apartment in high spirits. Violet even planted a kiss on Zen’s cheek. He grinned and Violet hoped he took it as a sign that she was feeling more like herself. With the last night she had, she guessed he must have been worried sick over her. Anything she could do to prove she was getting better, she would.
While Sonorous returned to the construction site—this time, in bright orange attire, which Violet guessed meant that they had actually begun the construction—the other two resumed their job hunt. The first place they tried was a street-side bakery that turned them away since they had no previous experience. While that didn’t particularly dampen their spirits—they had expected at least some resistance—the next three denials began to sully their moods.
And it continued. Violet and Zen tried every place they could find that was hiring but no matter their efforts, they were always turned down. Either Violet lacked the skills or the employer simply didn’t like the idea of “some country mare mucking up the place” as one of them stated, an owner of a small, family-oriented restaurant. Violet had wanted to shove her hoof down his throat at the blatant stereotyping, but Zen’s worried look had held her back. She had, however, mentioned to the stallion, “You know, I know a stallion who thought the same way you do. He’s now one of my closest friends.” She narrowed her eyes. “So before you go around reinforcing your own train of thought because it’s easy… take a moment to get to know to whom you’re really talking.” She even kissed him on the cheek and flicked her tail as she moseyed out of the restaurant. “You might be pleasantly surprised.” The employer was left stunned and speechless.
Even so, the two of them had no luck in securing a job for the mare. They returned to the apartment late that afternoon and found Sonorous already there, sprawled on one couch and already seemingly asleep. Violet lay on the other one and gave a heavy sigh, losing herself in though. Zen closed the door behind them and paced, his hoof on his muzzle.
At the sound of the door closing, Sonorous jerked awake and looked at the two of them. It took the pegasus a moment to recognize them but when he did, he calmed and put his muzzle to his forehead, groaning.
“Rough day at the site?” Zen asked, looking at his friend out of the corner of his eye.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Sonorous threw up his forelegs. “Solace is so specific about his news station!”
Zen visibly winced. “Yikes, that can get tiring.” He joined Violet on the other couch and lay back, sighing lightly. Sonorous didn’t respond. All he did was take a few moments to try to quell his rising headache.
Violet looked up from one of her friends to the other and rose. “Anybody want a drink from the fridge?” When both of them mumbled some variation of “yes,” the mare sauntered over to the fridge. She pulled back the door and grabbed three bottles of water, seeing nothing else but some fruits and vegetables inside. After closing the fridge, she started to walk back to Zen and Sonorous but halted as a thought occurred to her.
How much have I taken from them? Violet looked down to her water bottle and felt her stomach twist. How much more will I take…? I’m of no use to them if I can’t get a job… I don’t deserve this water.
Flattening her ears, she returned to the couch. Neither of the stallions must have noticed her pause. They simply took the water she offered them and sighed in relief as the cool liquid began to roll down their parched throats. Nobody said a word as the three of them sat and pondered what might be done. Violet found no solutions forthcoming; the more she thought, the more she could see only one solution. It wasn’t even a solution—more of a momentary reprieve. In any case, it was the only possible course of action that she saw able to be taken. And it tore her heart apart.
“I’m leaving,” Violet forced herself to say, her voice breaking.
“What!?” Zen exclaimed after spitting out his water. “Why?” Even Sonorous gasped and was hanging on to her every word.
“I’ve stayed here for too long,” she said and took a deep breath, fighting to keep herself steady. “I can’t get a job, guys… I mean, if I’m nothing but dead weight… why stay? I’m only making things worse…”
“Violet…” Zen said and found no words to say. His mouth was agape and he was obviously trying to find something to tell the distressed mare, but it was as if all words failed him for what he wanted to say.
Violet shook her head and placed her forelegs around Zen. “I’ll never forget you, Zen. You helped me open my heart again and taught me that it’s okay to leave it unlocked. You’ll always have a key to it.” She sighed and looked to Sonorous. “You, too, buddy.” To her credit, she mad managed to stay the tears all the way through her announcement. She even thought this might be easier than she had anticipated. But when she pushed herself from Zen and saw two steady streams of tears, she snapped and stared.
“Vivi…” he shook his head. “That’s not fair. That’s not… you don’t get to waltz into somebody else’s life, make yourself matter, and then waltz out on a moment’s notice!” Zen looked to the side and grimaced. He tried to wipe the tears away but gave up and looked back to her, not even bothering to stop the streams from his eyes.
“I care about you, Vivi,” he whispered; despite the lack of volume, Violet knew that these words came straight from his heart—from the deepest depths of his soul—and were every bit as loaded as a cry of agony. And possibly more.
“And I don’t want you to go. We’ll make it work, we’ll figure something out, we’ll make it happen, just…” he trailed off and hugged her again as tightly as he could manage. “Just please don’t go… I’m in love with you, Violet Vigil, and I don’t want you to leave me.”
Violet froze. She stared straight ahead, trying to process what she had just been told. She felt Zen crying into her chest, his shoulders bobbing and his tears rolling down her coat. For a few minutes, she remained as a statue. Sonorous was on the edge of her vision, speechless. Violet looked down slowly and wrapped her forelegs around Zen, tightening her grip with every passing second. She maintained her hold until Zen had finished and was again looking into her eyes. Only then did she speak again.
“I know, Zen,” she said softly. “I’m in love with you, too. That’s why this is so hard.” And if it was possible, she shed more tears, pecking a kiss on his cheek. It took all of her willpower not to lock his muzzle with her own. If she did that… she might not ever let go. So she left him there and stood up.
“I can’t possibly ask for supplies from you guys… so I’ll just… be on my way.”
“Absolutely not, Violet,” Sonorous stood himself and stomped the floor. “I won’t keep you here against your will… but I also won’t let you go without, at least, some provisions. You…” he couldn’t finish as he wiped away a few tears of his own. “You’re a dear friend and I can’t bear the thought of you going with absolutely nothing.”
She shot the pegasus a surprised look and shook her head somewhat. “I don’t get it… why? You’re already close to losing your house… why bother doing anything for me?”
“Because that’s what friends do!” Zen yelled and scowled at Violet. “They help each other even when it means hurting themselves.” He rose from the couch and stalked off to his room without glancing back.
If anything at all had hurt Violet up to that point, it was immediately squandered by the look Zen had given her. Nothing cut as deep as that did and Violet felt her heart drop into her stomach.
“Zen, I…” she stopped herself, feeling that tension in her stomach again. The same feeling she felt when Quill had died; only, this time… it was worse. Something about what Zen said latched itself onto Violet and sucked her of every last bit of happiness. If she had any hope of moving on, it was now gone. She turned to Sonorous, tears falling unchecked, and shook her head. “What did I…”
The pegasus merely shook his head and started to gather some supplies for Violet. In the time that Sonorous did this, she sat back down on the couch and reanalyzed the discussion up until it got heated, up until he had yelled and looked at her with that… What was it… betrayal?
It hurt her to even think about. So she distracted herself by fiddling with her tail and watching Sonorous. He didn’t speak and mostly kept his gaze away from her; when they did lock gazes, there was something there that disturbed Violet. Much like the look Zen had given her, there was pain evident in those glossy eyes, but for Sonorous, it was more complicated.
Don’t tell me he hates me, too… why is he looking at me like that? With… Violet knew she recognized the look. It was oddly reminiscent of her childhood and caused her a great deal of distress. But it didn’t click until her thoughts meandered to times long since gone with her parents. That’s when she understood. She put her hooves to her eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears that had seemed to flow so oft as of late.
“Come on, Violet,” Sonorous said with a discernible note of regret. It was from a different location than she remembered and when she withdrew her hooves, she saw the pegasus standing by the door with a backpack leaning against the wall. “You ready?”
Violet shook her head but got up anyway. When she reached the door, she picked up the bag, lurching forward slightly at the unexpected weight. “How much is in here?”
“Enough to last you a couple weeks.”
“Sonorous, don’t you—”
“No,” he cut her off. “And don’t even think to argue.”
“What did I do wrong?”
Sonorous chuckled and shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his muzzle. “You don’t get it. It’s not what you did. It’s what you didn’t do. Violet, I thought you were better than this, and I’m surprised to say… I’m disappointed in you.”
With that, he turned and retreated to his room. But before he made the full distance, he stopped and turned his muzzle to the side, speaking in low tones. “I hope you find somebody who knows exactly what to say to you, Violet. Zen doesn’t know, and it’s tearing him apart.”
Then he left her, standing, thunderstruck, and defeated. She welled up and ran. Violet didn’t take the elevator; rather, she ran down the stairs. At least, she tried to. Nearing the end of the second flight of stairs, she slipped and fell, collapsing in a heap against the wall. When an unknown white stallion opened the door nearby and asked what the commotion was, Violet just picked herself up and continued on her way, tears falling all the while.
I did this to protect you! she kept yelling in her head. Everything I do is to protect ponies! If I do more harm than good, why stay? Answer me that, Zen! Why keep pouring salt in the wound!?
Violet ran out of the apartment complex and through Manehatten. To her credit, she managed to avoid each pony she ran by but even if she had, she wouldn’t have stopped. She was far too preoccupied. Nearing the edge of Manehatten, her gaze inevitably drifted to the fire department as she passed by it. The sight inflicted terror the likes of which she had forgotten she’d experienced. She sprinted past it, trying to will the image burned from her mind. All the way outside of the city, she ran, and onward. She ran until her chest heaved and her hooves were sore. She ran until her tears were gone and her heart was a stone. She ran until she lost the strength to lift a hoof and collapsed in front of a small brook at the edge of the nearby forest. The sun had long since set and she didn’t see her reflection, not that she cared. In fact, she somehow managed to roll herself on her back and looked up at the stars. The sky was abundant with them. Thousands upon thousands of tiny, shining, little blips in the sky.
I’ve always watched the stars from way down here. I wonder… if there’s anybody else doing the same on any of them. She reached out with a hoof to try to touch one star, knowing full well that she couldn’t. All she wanted was some control, some power over her situation… and to her, it hardly ever seemed like she had any.
Who are you? What’s your story? Who stepped on your heart and left you to die? And just how are you going to stand back up and take what’s rightfully yours?
Violet wasn’t sure why she asked those questions, especially to nobody in particular, but she found it therapeutic to question in isolation. She dropped her hoof, sighed, and curled up, groaning at her muscles’ protests. Sleep greeted her not too long afterward—a dreamless, unmemorable sleep. Although Violet wasn’t too thrilled that the sun had interrupted her meditative slumber, it brought to light more than the forest around her and the city she had left behind. Once again, she was alone, on the road, and without provisions.
“Oh, crap…” she groaned more loudly than she had last night. She had forgotten the backpack.