Violet walked forward but hardly felt as if it were real.
What have I just done…? Maybe I should go back, maybe…
Her stomach writhed and she grimaced, fighting back tears. No. It only… brings… She tossed the thought from her mind and started walking faster until she was galloping from home. She had no idea where she was going. All the distressed mare did was follow the one dirt road from her home until she found what must have been a more common road of cobblestone. There was a sign that pointed in either direction the cobblestone road went. One pointed towards Manehatten and the other, to Filly Delphia. She knew neither of these places and decided to close her eyes, spin in place, and pick whichever one she was more closely facing. It ended up being Manehatten.
Head drooping and spirits even lower, Violet trotted.
Quill… Petal… Juniper… my fr—
She halted her thoughts, growled, and tossed her head so that her mane obscured her face.
It’s better that I leave, that they forget I was even here. It’ll be like I never existed… like I never let them down… him down…
The cobblestone road became harder and harder to see until near total darkness blanketed her vision. Violet raised her field of view until the horizon, or where she knew it was, stared back at her as if it only barely knew her… dark, foreign, and all too inviting. A tiny amount of her unease melted and she walked faster until she was running… and she didn’t stop. She found she liked it this way. Nobody knew her. Nobody recognized her, the broken heart she wished wasn’t marking her flank, the damp trails all along her muzzle that had so oft lately directed streams of tears, or the flicker in her eyes that she knew would betray her innermost thoughts and memories… a silent traitor… her worst enemy.
However, in the unbiased embrace of the night, Violet galloped. She forgot her worries, if just for tonight. She ran and skipped and bounced to Manehatten. She stopped only to waft the scents of the various flowers she wandered past into her muzzle and to admire the foliage in all their humble glory. The night’s majesty left tears in her eyes and she had to stop, fall to all fours, and gape at the sheer wonder the stars cast down upon her, each one like little gems, sparkling in the soft glow of the moon. This was her time, her kingdom, and her little slice of paradise. She questioned ever leaving it and felt the need to stop for the night, if only to just admire it as she felt it deserved. Picking a tree in no particular way, Violet settled in front of it. The cool grass was her bed, the darkness her blanket, and the stars her night light. The first contented sigh escaped her muzzle as she allowed her breathing to become regular and slow. At last, she had found someplace in which she could be peaceful… nobody else in the whole, wide world could ruin it. Several hours of peace and nighttime passed.
Violet, this isn’t your place. You need to go home.
She jerked up at the sudden, assaulting voice and screamed into daylight. Twisting and turning her head to see where the noise had come from, she found nobody. Violet shook her head and curled up on the ground. But I was peaceful… why can’t I just live like that? I don’t want to leave if all it means is a broken heart and a stretcher I have to watch wheel away… A few minutes passed before she stopped panting and wiped the sweat she had only just noticed from her brow. She didn’t want to move anymore. All she wanted to do was lay down and wait until the ache in her stomach left. Still, though, she couldn’t avoid the question she didn’t quite have the answer for, yet.
Where am I gonna go…? What am I gonna do…? Where do I belong?
She forced herself up to her haunches before she could change her mind. Manehatten loomed before her, barely visible in her eyesight. The road had not yet been touched by anybody else, the sky was clear and becoming brighter by the minute, and Violet could hear woodland critters scurrying about their morning tendencies. All was calm.
With a heavy sigh, she planted a hoof in front of her and pulled herself up to all fours. She wasn’t going toward anything that was worse than what she was leaving behind. Can’t possibly be worse.
Indeed, as Violet walked, her stomach eased little by little. She couldn’t wipe away the smile that was creeping onto her face as she made her way to Manehatten. It looked to be quite metropolitan, shiny, and inviting. It was still early in the morning, though, and there were only a few ponies outside; they were in orange vests and yellow helmets, mulling about a large section of land that was roped off by yellow tape on cones just on the outskirts of town. As Violet approached it, she read, “Construction site… do not cross…”
She shrugged and looked up to the ponies that had already noticed her arrival and were staring at her with a mixture of curiosity and aloofness.
“Umm… you alright, miss?” the larger of the two construction ponies asked, a soft gold earth pony.
Violet blinked. “Yeah… why?”
“You look rather disheveled.” Muttering a low “huh,” Violet took stock of herself and noticed her coat was actually clumping in several places, her mane was frazzled when she held her hoof up to it, and her tail was far from straight.
“My name is Zen Freemason,” the golden stallion said. “My friend is Sonorous Spiel. You really do look like you could use a place to crash… or recover from a crash.”
Violet had to admit that he had a point. “Yeah… I suppose I could use some rest and relaxation. Is there a place nearby?”
Zen tilted his head somewhat and looked to Sonorous who, in turn, looked back at him. Zen was the first to turn away and back to Violet. His eyebrows were tilted upward slightly and he stumbled over whatever it was that he was trying to say for a short while before he gave up and said with as much gentleness as he could manage, “You’re not from around here, are you?”
Violet laughed a little at that and nodded. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“You ever stayed in a tavern, girl?” Sonorous asked bluntly.
“No,” she responded, dragging the word out. “Why…?”
“Nevermind that,” Zen interrupted, taking a few steps toward Violet. “If you’re a stranger, it’s best that you steer clear of that place. At least, until you learn how things work around here. Why don’t you stay with us for a while?”
“What?” Violet and Sonorous asked in unison, the latter turning to his friend with exasperation. Zen gave him a pleading look and gestured to Violet.
“Zen, did you even think—”
“But just look at her! She could really use a place to stay that’s safe, Sonorous.”
Sonorous stared at him for a few more seconds, turned to Violet, and sighed. “Yeah… I suppose you’re right. But only for a few days! We have to take care of ourselves, too, y’know.”
“I’m all too aware…” Zen trailed off, rolled his eyes, and looked back to Violet, grinning. “Well then. Looks like you’re staying with us for a while.”
Violet shook her head ever so slightly, retracting a hoof. “I… I’m not sure…”
Zen held out his hoof, saying under a whisper, “Please, miss. I promise I have no ill will. Come on, I put up with him all day,” and he tossed his head back at Sonorous. That made Violet chuckle softly in spite of herself. Zen laughed a little as well and smiled. “I swear, friend.”
Violet looked from his hoof to his face and back several times. The sight unnerved her. She wanted to place her hoof in his. Dearly, she wanted to. But the more she thought about it, the more her stomach flared in protest, twisting and writhing against Zen’s warm invitation. If she was feeling this now, before she had even begun to reside with them, then it would only get worse if she lived with them. At least, that’s what she thought.
I’m saving you… you don’t know it… but I’m saving you.
“No…” she said at just above a whisper, enough so that Sonorous could hear, too. “I appreciate the offer… but I’ll be fine on my own.”
The two construction ponies looked at each other uncertainly but Violet started on her way into Manehatten before they could protest. She waved back at them and called out, “Trust me!” She didn’t believe herself for a moment. The only reason she had said what she did was to protect Zen and Sonorous from herself and from anything happening like what happened to Quill. It was better this way. That’s what she kept telling herself.
The less ponies that involve themselves with me… the better.
So Violet trotted from Zen and Sonorous on her less-than-merry way, taking in all the sights Manehatten had to offer. The buildings got taller and taller the more she walked, blotting out nearly all of the sky Violet had so oft looked upon with reverence and envy, and that saddened her. There didn’t seem to be any appreciation for the sky and with all the buildings obstructing nature, Violet felt quite out of place. Enough time had passed so that she saw a few ponies going about their lives with nary a glance upward or, indeed, to either side of them. One of them walked by Violet as she made her way past a building bearing a sign that read “Post Office” and didn’t even spare her a passing glance. She shook her head and sighed, looking to the sky… or she would have, had there been any real amount of sky to which to look. An ache twisted her stomach as she dropped her gaze to the post office.
Maybe you could send Mom and Dad a letter. She disregarded the thought immediately, feeling there was nothing at all to say to them after she had just run away. The ache worsened, causing Violet to lurch forward as she wrenched her gaze from the Post Office and walked to another building. This one had a sign that read “Fire Department.” Her pupils dilated and she backed away slowly, shaking her head.
“Quill…” she whispered.
A myriad of thoughts assaulted her mind as she stared at that building, each more unsettling than the last.
Is this the one that dispatched all the fireponies to my old school? Do any of them remember it? Quill? Me…?
Part of her wanted to run right then, to run as fast as she could far away from there. It was dangerous. She’d be vulnerable to a multitude of catalysts for memories from the past if there was even one pony that remembered that tragedy. But then… there was the part of her that wanted to know. Indeed, did they truly send the fireponies to Violet’s old school? If this is the very same one, do they remember it at all? Do they remember anyone? Curiosity brewed with uncertainty, mixing and churning until she couldn’t stand the stew inside her. It was burning her to carry it and the only way she saw to digest it was to answer those questions that had so rapidly presented themselves.
Violet still wasn’t sure if she was doing the right thing but she’d rather do something than nothing at all and as a result, she found herself trotting to the front doors. She didn’t notice the lack of trucks in the garage and when she pushed against the front doors, they resisted. Violet raised an eyebrow and looked around for any sign that would indicate the fireponies’ absence. It took her more than a moment to realize that they must be gone since their trucks were missing.
Smooth…
Sighing, she walked a short distance away from the fire department. Most of the ache in her stomach settled since she could say she had tried. Nobody could hold that against her. But now she was faced with the other, more prominent problem: what to do? She had nothing. Being a newcomer, there was little she could do. All she really had experience in was farming and in such an industrial city, she doubted she could do even that. Her thoughts wandered until they came upon a particular gold earth pony and his gray friend.
Zen was right, she realized. I should stay with him and Sonorous so I can learn how things work around here. I’m going blind…
Swallowing hard, Violet turned towards the entrance of the city. It wasn’t hard; all she had to do was follow the progressively shrinking buildings. The more sky she saw, the closer she was to leaving it. Before long, and when the sun was just about straight overhead, Violet found the both of them where she had left them. When Zen saw her, a grin spread on his face. Sonorous just sighed.
“Hey,” she greeted with a little hesitance. “I changed my mind… looks like I need to stay with you guys, if the offer is still open.”
“Of course it is,” Zen nodded firmly. “Our home is your home.” Violet smiled at that and an ease washed over her, dousing any fires of her discontent. Tears bubbled in her eyes and she blushed, hiding the facts by turning her head to the side so that her mane obscured her face.
“But only for a few days, y’hear?” Violet had been expecting Sonorous to say this. She knew he had the last time Zen had brought up the possibility of her staying with them. There was no reason to suspect otherwise. In fact, she had wanted him to remind Zen of this. And yet, after seeing Zen’s warm reception and even eagerness in housing her, she felt a small, painful twist in her stomach when she heard Sonorous say it.
“Y—… yeah,” she agreed, stumbling over herself. “Only for a few days…”
Violet wasn’t sure whether her smile was forced or not.