//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 - "Mah story begins" // Story: I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies // by LtMajorDude //------------------------------// November 11, 2007 A woman coldly stared at the old, shin-less man in the hospital bed. There was silence between these enemies; the only sound audible was the heart monitor beeping from the dying old man. The old man, Cotton Hill, let out a weak smirk as he stared at the frowning woman, Peggy Hill. "I hope you live forever. I really do." Peggy Hill whispered as her glare hardened with hatred. She was sitting next to the dying Cotton Hill. "Do ya now?" Cotton quipped. He let out an evil laugh and rested his head on his pillow and closed his eyes. As he let out one sigh of breath, he manually stopped his heart, which caused him to frown as he stood still, dead. Peggy, whose glare turned to a surprised look on her face, shook his shoulder. Realizing that he is dead, she gasped before she put her hand on her mouth, her eyes were filled with astonishment. Whiteness. That's all Cotton could see. After dying on his death bed, Cotton woke up lying down. As he opened his eyes, he noticed that he wasn't lying on anything. He turned his head a bit to find himself in a never-ending whiteness. He slowly stood up and began looking around, a raised eyebrow was present on his face as he walked around. He had a funny way of walking, thanks to his lack of shins. "Where the hell am Ah?" he said in confusion as he walked and turned his head constantly. He let out a tiny surprised grunt as heard a loud voice said, "You are in the afterlife, Cotton Hill." He looked up at the limitless whiteness. "God?" He heard the voice again. "Yes it is I.” It said in its booming voice. Cotton looked down as he shook his head chuckling. "So yer sendin' me to hell, huh?" He said as he opened his eyes back to the whiteness. "No. Though you have lived an evil life, I will give you a second chance." Cotton laughed as he put his hand on his forehead. "Me? Change?" He shouted in disbelief and amusement. "C'mon God! Yer not gonna send me to hell wit' the fiddy men Ah killed?!" "No." The voice boomed again. "I will send you to a world that does not exist until about three years from now. A world that may change you." Cotton growled. "Where? What on earth are ya talkin' about?! A world that doesn't exist 'til three years?! A world that can change me?!" He waited for a response but didn't get one, causing Cotton to become more agitated. Before he can shout a curse, the whiteness grew brighter, which caused Cotton to close his eyes in slight pain. He covered his eyes as he continued his angered rant. "NO WAY IN HELL AM AH CHANGING GOD!!! YER MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YA EVER MADE!!!" As he opened his eyes and lowered his hands, he let out a shocked gasp at what he saw before his eyes. He saw a forest that seemed to not end. Trees and plants were everywhere and did not seem to end. The only sound was the leaves rustling from the light wind and a faint echo of some animal noise. However, the forest seemed to be a little colorful in Cotton's eyes. “Jesus Christ..." he muttered, as he put his hoof on his forehead. "Wait. That's not mah hand. It feels like a..." He looked at his hoof, which caused his eyes to grew even larger. Without moving his head, Cotton's eyes turned to a nearby puddle. Wasting no time, he leaned to the puddle and saw his reflection. His jaw dropped as his right eye twitched a bit. "HOLY HELL!" he shouted as he fell to the ground. In his reflection, he saw an army green pony. He also saw that he had a white mane and tail. His skin looked slightly raggy. He also noticed that he had blood red eyes, something that he did not have back on Earth. He shook his head. "Ah can't believe this." He muttered. "Not only am Ah trapped in a forest that looks like it belongs in a kids' show, Ah'm a damned horse!" He stood up, only to fall back down. He gritted his teeth when he realized he was going to walk like an animal. He thought back to the time when he rented that horse for the birthday of his grandson, Bobby Hill, whom he cared more than his son, Hank Hill. Remembering how the horse trotted around, Cotton carefully stood up and mimicked the movements the horse made. Despite suffering from trips and falls whenever he made a mistake, he was able to walk around with some ease. He trotted through the forest, hoping to find someone. He let out a small sigh of relief as he saw some light from outside the forest. With a smile, he ran towards it and was greeted with a sight that only made him more sick. He stuck out his tongue as he saw open land and plains. The fact that it was even more colorful than the forest made Cotton even more sick. Shaking his head, he continued to walk. He stopped with a blank expression as he saw what seemed to be a cottage. He turned his head slightly and saw something which made Cotton's mood even more rotten. He saw a shy yellow pony with a pink mane and tail. She was looking at a white rabbit who was pushing away a carrot. "A horse like me? Just rich." Cotton grumbled as he crossed his arms. “Come on, Angel." She said. "Eat your food." Cotton dropped his jaw. "A talking pony?!" he thought. "Oh great. Just what Ah needed. GREAT." All of a sudden, he saw a blue winged pony with rainbow mane flying and landed next to the yellow pony. She looked cocky, which made Cotton both amused and annoyed. "You ready for the picnic Fluttershy?" the blue pony asked as she looked at the yellow pony. The yellow pony smiled weakly to the blue pony. "I'm almost done. Just give me a few more minutes." The blue pony smiled. "Sure thing." She replied as she flapped her wings and then started to fly away. Cotton shook his head. "How did Ah get mahself into this mess?!" He frantically shouted as he put both of his hooves on each side of his head. "Was it the fiddy men Ah killed?????”