//------------------------------//
// 53: Diverted from the tracks by VelvetHeart 
// Story: Xenophilia: Shotglass Oneshots 
// by TheQuietMan 
//------------------------------//

Diverted from the tracks by VelvetHeart

**************************


"Fancy Dress! That makes an outfit combo!" Rainbow Dash cried out as she slapped her card down on the table.

"I guess that in a game, you are willing to put some effort into your appearance, Rainbow Dash," Rarity added with a titter, before drawing a card from the deck and placing it in the holder before her.

Twilight Sparkle let out a little squee of her own; "Oh, this is so much fun! Chatting and playing with just the girls again, now the stallions are out on their own thi--"

The door thumped open, admitting the familiar tall form of the only human in Equestria, who hesitated only a moment before joining the mares clustered around the circular table. "It didn't take as long as we thought it would. The wood just... popped right back into place, like it was never broken in the first place. Anyway, what are you girls playing?"

"Ehm." Twilight Sparkle hesitated only to have Applejack jump in, "It's Colt Gone Cold, a game. Y'see, it's about this here stallion, the hottest one in town, who suddenly became available 'gain. So in this game, you got to seduce the stallion into yer' herd before yer' opponents can. To do so, you draw cards and try to make these combos at the bottom here. Rarity there has a 'Perfumes' combo, which gives 'er points. If you get enough points, you win. Buuuut-"

"-your opponents can get special mess-up cards, which can break your combos or force you to throw away cards!" Pinkie Pie interrupted. "Waaait... we still have room for a player. Lero, join-join-join-join-joinjoinjoin!"

"Well, I suppose it's only an imaginary stallion." Lero sat down, and swiftly found himself with a hand of cards, completely ignoring the holder he was also offered. "Ok, I play this combo then. Cosmetics, with Perfume, Lipstick and... Nethergloss? What's nethergloss?"

Twilight Sparkle turned red in the face, prompting a guffaw from Rainbow Dash. It was Rarity who answered, however: "Dear, that's a cosmetic that's used to, ah, accentuate a mare's most-feminine features. It also comes in various flavors for the more, shall we say, active mares?"

"Y'all be usin' nethergloss then, Rarity?"

"Well, I used to." Rarity sighed. "Unfortunately young Sweetie Belle seems to have developed a crush on some colt or other and decided to help herself to mine. Poor filly never could do anything in moderation, she applied it like icing to her little 'cupcake'. What was left after that... well, I decided to let her keep it. A lady doesn't use a used stick of nethergloss."

"Ooh, cupcake!" Pinkie Pie bounced with enough force that the table trembled, "That makes me want a taste of-- of... why is everypony looking at me like- oh! No, I mean the tasty kind! I mean the jui- ack, that's even worse! I mean the kind that comes from an oven!"

"We were just joking, Pinkie." Rainbow Dash slapped two cards to the table. "It's not something I would've thought to use. Non-unicorns never have an easy time getting it to look right."

"Well, I can, and mine's special!" Pinkie added her interrupt card to Rainbow's combo, breaking it. "It's got edible glitter in and it tastes like strawberries!"

Rarity's eyebrow began to climb on a dainty journey into her maneline. Several other eyebrows around the table, perhaps inspired by this bold move, quickly began to follow. "Dear, did I hear you correctly? Do you mean you make your, ah, 'cupcake' sparkle?"

"Yepperoonie! At special parties it's great fun! Instant discopie! In fact, remember Vinyl Scratch, the DJ? She loved the sparkly stuff so much I had to pull her out from under the table so she'd remember to play for the wedding!"

Rarity's eyebrows completed the remainder of their journey in record time. "You wore sparkly nethergloss at the princess' wedding?!"

"Yep! How else did you think Twilight Sparkle knew which of the Pinkie Pies was a changeling and which was the real one? She peeked! And the smell of Twilight's tail-shampoo helped me, so I knew which one to use as a properly-mounted machi-nicorn!"

Twilight Sparkle's face was steadily going from a shade of lavender to a deeper purple. "So... how did you know which one was the real Rarity?"

"Oh, that was easy! Her nethergloss tastes like rasberries!"

Rarity's eyes bulged in a very unladylike-fashion. "Wait, THE FLAVOR?!"