4. Stage Psychopathy
The girls pulled up to centennial park, where Canterlot gardens was located, and one by one they climbed out of Rarity's SUV. Rainbow booted the door open and emerged, followed by Applejack who held the door open for the last girl who sat in the back. Rainbow Dash turned around with a confident smirk, the camera clutched in her hand.
"You sure you're ready for this?" Rainbow Dash asked with a hint of condescension, raising an eyebrow as the pink haired girl jumped out of the vehicle with a determined look on her face.
"Abso-fucking-lutely!" She squealed with anticipation, surprising the girls with the curse. Applejack closed the door behind them as they approached the scene.
Canterlot gardens was lit up from railing to rooftop around them, lights that adorned the buildings all year hanging around them and the usual concrete stage just past the fountain and slowly sloping stairs. The girls crept along around the gathered crowd and approached the stage, which read "Amateur Night" along the banner, coming up to the back of a girl with a clipboard. Her loose, brown jumpsuit said "staff" on the back, so they thought it must have been their best bet. Hearing their numerous footsteps as they came up behind her, the girl in front of them turned and looked at the group. Her expression shifted from shock to fear to anger, and Rainbow Dash was just thrilled.
"Hey there, Shimmer. My, my, you're looking hot tonight." Rainbow said sarcastically as she smirked triumphantly, holding up her phone and snapping a picture of the girl in her less than flattering outfit. Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes and bit back her initial venom for something more work appropriate. Barely.
"Dash, what the hell are you doing here?" She whispered as she held the clipboard to her chest, some kind of list as it was.
"I'm sorry, did you want to make a scene?" Rainbow Dash looked around at the crowds of people and raised an eyebrow, silencing Sunset Shimmer's protests. Rainbow Dash turned her phone around and displayed the image to the embarrassed girl, "Now, put Pinkie's name next on the list, or this goes on the net."
Sunset Shimmer looked rather surprised by the negotiation, and suddenly she realized why they asked such a thing of her, "Wait, wait, is this one of—"
"Just do it already." Rainbow Dash cut her off effectively, her fingers hovering over the send button menacingly.
Sunset Shimmer was resistant, but with a long, drawn-out sigh and a shake of her head, she began scribbling the name, "Fine." She turned the pen around in her hand and clicked it closed against the clipboard, glaring up at the group and she backed up and approached the stage.
The previous act finished up quickly, and the host went up to the microphone to announce the next performance, "Now, who's our next performer of the evening?" Sunset Shimmer reluctantly held the clipboard up so that he could see, and he nodded as he read the name, "Ah, ladies and gentleman, please give a round of applause for Pinkie Pie!"
Said girl hurried up the few steps onto the stage, waving and cheering and bouncing around until she got the the microphone. She cleared her throat a few times and plucked the corded thing off the stand, getting accustomed to the weight in her hands. Canterlot gardens often held amateur nights, for singers, comedians, dances, any talent one might have to share.
"All right, all right, pleasure to be with you all on this fine Canterlot evening!" Pinkie Pie began as she strolled down the stage, looking into the faces of the audience and fiddling with the object she had hidden beneath her sweater. "So, me, being the most super-ific and unconventional gal around, I have this little buddy of mine, he's a toothless alligator, right?" The crowd began to chuckle and while it looked like Pinkie might go on, she stopped and looked out at the smiling faces, her own expression darkening, "What's so funny? That's not the joke."
"Come on, get a good shot," Rainbow Dash ushered Twilight Sparkle into the crowd closer to Pinkie Pie, to get a better angle on her performance.
"That's not funny, what are you laughing at?" She questioned, but the rest of the crowd began to laugh more and more as she grew upset, falling into giggles and snickers and the like. Pinkie Pie cocked her head suddenly and bore her teeth, licking her lip with a sarcastic or aggravated grin, "What is so damn funny? Is it, is me?" The laughter picked up as she pointed to herself and her eye twitched a bit, "Oh, I'm so funny, right? Ha, ha, this crazy chick is great, right? Hi-fucking-larious! Well, you want to know what I think is funny?"
Pinkie Pie strolled along the stage speaking in this odd and aggressive manner, her eyes bulging and her body language tensing up and getting all defensive. The crowd's laughter was dashed as Pinkie pulled out the knife she had concealed and flicked it open, the wide and curved blade glistening under the spotlight. Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged dumbfounded glances, and Twilight Sparkle's jaw dropped. Pinkie flipped the knife around and waved it wildly in front of her, causing the nearest row of onlookers to back up and cower.
"Can I get a volunteer to come on stage and help me with this next act?" Pinkie's voice cracked around as her eyes darted from face to face, "I may not be a magician, but maybe I can made a few body parts disappear!"
"She must have forgotten to take her meds this morning!" Rainbow Dash called loudly towards the stage, and noticed the stage manager rush on stage to try and contain the situation.
"Get back! Get back I say, I'll eviscerate the damn bile out of this bitch!" Pinkie Pie screamed as she raced towards the man, knife in hand. The man backed away and shouted for help to the nearest stage hand he could see.
"Sunset Shimmer, call the police, right now!" The stage manager called, keeping his eyes on the now guffawing girl in front of him, knife trembling and waving about.
"Hell no!" Sunset Shimmer scoffed and shook her head angrily, crossing her arms over the clipboard and narrowing her eyes at the girl on stage, "There is no way, no freaking way!"
"Sunset, what are you thinking?" The manager shouted in disbelief as he hurried off of the stage and grabbed his cell phone dialling the number and pressing it to his ear.
"She's faking it! It's just a game, a stupid, stupid game!" Sunset Shimmer tried to tell him, chasing after him as he tried to get to a quiet enough area to speak. The crowd gasped out loud as Pinkie ripped open her shirt, revealing her chubby stomach and bright pink bra. Sunset Shimmer groaned loudly and flailed her arms a bit, feeling utterly invisible.
"Hello, police! I have a girl here, she's, she's having some kind of mental break!" The manager tried to tell them, but the screaming in the audience and Pinkie's own laughter mostly drowned him out.
"Fuck, fuck—tits, ass, cunt mother of—" Pinkie Pie began swearing profusely in her half-naked state, twitching and slinging the knife in every direction she could think of.
"She also has Tourette's!" Rainbow Dash could hardly scream through her brimming laughter, and the manager returned to the scene clutching the cell phone in his hand as if whoever was on the other end could hear a word.
"The police are on their way, everyone, please stay back!" He called in a shaking voice, but the frantic crowd has already begun fleeing the scene and shrieking all kinds of horrors.
Pinkie Pie's maniacal laughter began to lighten up, and he stopped slicing the knife through the air to instead clap her hands and jump up and down. She folded the knife back up and returned it to the spot she had pulled it from, giggling and squealing instead with excitement rather than malice, "Hehehe, you should have seen the looks on your faces!"
The crowd watched in shock as she returned to the lovable and light-hearted Pinkie Pie she was more suited for, and the manager himself gawked before speaking up, "Are, are you okay?"
"Of course silly," Pinkie Pie waved her hand as though anything else would be just ridiculous. She pulled her shirt together over herself again and fixed together the one or two buttons that still remained. She leaned forwards and took a bow, and another, extending her arms and flipping her hair like she anticipated some praise, "Thank you, thank you, you have been a lovely audience!"
The few remaining audience members were either too shocked to move, or tried to ease the situation with scarce and spaced claps. It was rather quiet now as Pinkie took what little praise she could get. Horrified and confused faces began to emerge and Pinkie Pie hurriedly skipped off stage towards her regrouping friends.
"Okay, I think it's time to get gone." Rainbow Dash shook her head in amusement as the rest of them began to race away from the scene. Rainbow took off into a sprint as she passed Sunset Shimmer, who she shoved rudely and waved to, "See you, Shimmer."
Sunset Shimmer shook her head and scowled, utterly infuriated by her actions. As Applejack passed her, Sunset Shimmer stopped her and spoke, "Hey, Applejack?" She called her name, and the freckled farmer paused to listen to what she had to say, though her expression was angry and contorted and her words were toxic and furious, "You ask your friend about what happened to Gilda yet? You should, you know. You really should."
Applejack stared at the short-haired girl, her eyes narrowing as she tried to figure out just what she could possibly have to ask. Applejack bit her cheek a bit but followed after her friends, leaving Sunset Shimmer there to pick up the pieces of their endeavour. The stage manager ran up to her as he watched the group run off, digging his fingers into his hair in mortification. Sunset Shimmer frowned as she looked over at him and shook her head.
"I told you they were faking it." She said in an obnoxious voice, walking past him and hitting him with her shoulder as she crossed Pinkie's name off the list.
The group of five girls ran back to the vehicle, gathering together a mere few yards away as their laughter began to fade. Pinkie Pie was laughing the hardest, her good spirit overcoming any potential embarrassment. Rarity was the only one who was not in the mood, and shook her head in disappointment as she unlocked the doors to her parent's vehicle and stood beside it.
"That was so much fun!" Pinkie squealed as the rest of them gathered around.
"No it was not, this is a horrible game, that was a horrible idea." Rarity protested as she let her fingers flow through her hair, annoyed at how such a relaxing night had become something so rambunctious, "Why are we even out here?"
"You kidding? That was great!" Rainbow Dash argued with laughter, leaning against Rarity's car as she got another new picture of Fluttershy's condition, "And did you see Sunset Shimmer's face? Hilarious!"
Applejack hesitated for a moment, but took the chance to ask something a little more personal about her best friend, "What's with the two'a you, any who?"
Rainbow Dash bit her lip a bit at the uncomfortable subject, but shook it off and acted just as confident and proud as ever, "She... she just envies my natural charming charisma. Who can blame her?" Applejack chuckled a bit, finding the statement somewhat true.
"Whose pocket knife was that, anyway?" Twilight Sparkle asked, and Pinkie Pie remembered to remove it from her person, handing it back to its owner.
"Mine, actually." Applejack said as she gratefully accepted the knife, affixing it to her belt until they got back to her house, "I take it when I go out side'a the fences on the farm, never know what'cha might run into."
"You guys, it's just about midnight." Twilight said as she checked her watch, gesturing to the vehicle, "We should go back and pick up Fluttershy."
"I have a better idea." Rainbow Dash spoke as she raised an eyebrow and clicked a few buttons on her phone, bringing it up to her ear as it began to ring.
"What are you doing?" Rarity asked as her expression became serious, knowing just how limitless Rainbow's pranks could get.
Fluttershy stroked her creature companion on the head and between the long, white ears, despite the closet seeming utterly dark. The little rabbit peeked his head out and sniffed at her fingers, twitching it's little triangle nose all about. Fluttershy squeaked out loud and jumped as her ringtone went off, and she shoved the rabbit back into her bag as she searched for the source of the now blaring tune. Her breath was quick and nervous as her fingers trembled through the fabric, seeing small glimmers of light beneath the objects contained within.
"Spike, that yer phone?" Big Mac's voice came through the cracks in the closet, and Fluttershy hurried to find the object, finally feeling her fingers slide over the smooth metal.
"No, is it yours?" Spike replied as Big Mac stood up and looked around, wondering where it might have been coming from. "You think the girls left their phones here?"
"Ennope, sounds like it's in this here room," Big Mac heard it get clearer as Fluttershy retrieved it and hurriedly answered.
"Rainbow! W-What are you—" Fluttershy began to squeal, but the closet door was pulled open right in front of her. She blinked her wide eyes as her eyes adjusted to the light and she saw Big Mac's large body blocking her exit.
"Hey Mac, there's a girl in your closet!" Spike said obviously as he hurried up behind the older, taller man, still holding the game controller in his hand.
"What... What're you doin' in here?" Big Mac simply asked, though his expression was clearly surprise and confusion.
"Fluttershy, is that you? Why are you in Big Mac's closet?" Spike wondered as he pulled open the closet door a bit more to get a better look. Fluttershy just dropped the phone and it flipped closed on the ground, ending the call.
Big Mac didn't really know what to make of the whole scenario, but he bent down and reached in to take her hand as kindly and carefully as he could, "C'mon now little lady, let's getchu outta there."
"N-No, I can't, I—" Fulttershy squirmed away, but Big Mac persisted. Instead of using her words, Fluttershy grabbed his hand and bit it—hard. He shouted as he pulled away and nearly fell over backwards.
"Youch! Y'bit me!" Big Mac looked back at her in surprise and then down at his hand, where her little teeth prints became visible on his tanned skin.
"Okay Fluttershy, relax, we're just trying to—" Spike tried to reason with her as he held his hands up defensively and approached her.
"D-Don't come near me, I-I'll bite you too!" Fluttershy pointed at Spike menacingly, getting to her feet and holding her bag against her chest. She stared intently at the two shocked boys, but did not go on to explain right away.
"Al'right. What exactly is goin' on?" Big Mac decided to be direct about it, standing up straight as he towered over the younger, meek girl, "Y'hide in my closet, and now y'wanna bite everyone?"
"Well, I, I," Fluttershy's eyes shifted around the room, hoping to avoid the confrontation. Her face fell a bit as she revealed herself to the boys, "It's a dare, okay? I can't leave, they'll s-shave my head if I do."
"That sounds kind of extreme." Spike scratched his head as he tried to figure out what would compel a group of girls to engage in something like that.
"Look, I'm not leaving, okay? Not until midnight." Fluttershy told them defiantly as she shuffled uneasily in the doorway. Big Mac perked up as he heard that though.
"Midnight?" He asked curiously, looking over to his bed to see his alarm clock, "Well then yer just 'bout in the clear, y'want some snacks or somethin?"
"Oh, um, that's nice of you to offer, Big Mac," Fluttershy kicked at the floor and avoided his gaze, but he just chuckled a bit as he went over to his bed and grabbed a bowl of chips.
"Well I figured I ought'a offer, seein' as how yer my guest an' all." Big Mac smiled as he brought the bowl over to her and let her take it from his hands. She blushed shyly and sat down onto the ground to eat.
Fluttershy noticed the position of her phone all closed up on the ground, and remembered what it had been that gave her away. She picked up the phone and opened it, seeing the recent call list with Dash's name right at the top. Fluttershy frowned as she held her phone out in front of her and slowly raised her middle finger in front of it, clicking the picture and pressing send before she gave it a second thought. Of course, immediately afterwards she felt nervous and anxious, thinking she might have been a little too mean to Rainbow Dash.
Dash: Haha, you managed to stay in his closet? You're awesome, 'shy!
Rarity pulled up to by the curb of wherever it was that Rainbow Dash had asked them to stop by on the way to Applejack's house. It wasn't much out of the way, and it fit what Rainbow Dash had been thinking of planning for later, though she uttered not a word of it. The group got out of the vehicle and started up towards the house, where several familiar faces hung around an open garage. Rainbow Dash had remembered the address from the one time she had ever been there before, when Spitfire had given Soarin a ride home before dropping Rainbow Dash off after a soccer game. The three of them weren't exactly friends, but they played a few sports together over the years.
Spitfire and Soarin were always together, so it was no surprise that she was at his house now. Spitfire and Lightning Dust were too preoccupied playing a game of foosball to even notice that the other girls had arrived, and Soarin was rolled on a car mechanic gurney underneath his old beater. Rainbow Dash kicked at his foot as the rest of the girls stood around him, and he peeked to the side to see their feet from under the car.
"What's going on, Soarin?" Rainbow Dash asked nonchalantly, waiting for him to roll out.
"Oh, hi guys." He pushed off the underside of the car and rolled out, sitting upright as he came into view. His eyes immediately went to Applejack, and a wide smile appeared, "Uh, Applejack, hey, how are you?"
"Dandy." She replied simply, more interested in the car than the boy under it, it seemed.
"Ahem—obvious." Rainbow Dash muttered under a fake cough, causing Soarin to reluctantly look away to hide his embarrassment, "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" Soarin asked as he gestured to the car behind him.
"I meant later tonight, you dipshit." Rainbow Dash snickered as she shook her head. Her eyes crept over to her best friend as she spoke of her, "It's Applejack's birthday you know."
"Is it?" Soarin perked up to hear it and found a reason to address Applejack again, "Well happy birthday, Applejack. You guys going to Octavia's party?"
"We weren't invited." Rainbow scoffed as she shoved her hands in her pockets, shrugging like it didn't bother her in the least.
"I was." Rarity interceded, but no one said anything about that.
"Us either. We're going to crash it anyway." Soarin told them as he licked his lips and let his eyes quickly fondle Applejack while she subtly peered under the hood, "We were thinking a bit after midnight, you should come, it'll be a good time."
"Well, we have to finish up our game before we think about that." Rainbow Dash spoke teasingly vaguely, but Soarin laid back down on the gurney before replying, rolling back under the car a bit.
"Mind handing me that wrench?" He asked to no one in particular, but Rainbow just glared down at him as if she was expecting a different question. Applejack bent down to the toolbox though.
"Open-ended or socket?" She asked simply, and everyone looked at her weirdly, most of them having no idea what she said. Soarin grinned as he heard those words and responded promptly.
"Open." He told her as he reached out and gratefully accepted the tool, touching her fingers a bit as he took it from her. Rainbow Dash twitched as she saw it, some form of jealousy flaring up as Applejack's attention was elsewhere, "Thanks. So, a game? What game?"
Rainbow Dash was glad he got back on topic, and flipped her hair a bit as she informed him, "Triple dog."
"Triple dog, huh?" He paused in his maintenance and chewed over his words, "Well, you girls should be careful."
"I'm sorry, what?" Rainbow Dash leaned back to full height as Applejack stood up beside her. She made an amused face and told him off, "Did you tell me to be careful? Come on Soarin, don't be such a pussy."
"My bad." Was his only reply, as he got back to working.
Rainbow sneered and made an irritable noise, turning around over-zealously and obnoxiously before calling back a goodbye, "Later, maybe."
"Why, exactly, did we stop here again?" Rarity asked in an annoyed tone, glancing over at the rainbow-haired rebel.
"You didn't hear that? A party. Sounds like fun to me," Rainbow grinned as she yanked the door of Rarity's SUV open and hopped inside, climbing into the back seat. Twilight tried to climb in after her, but Rainbow gestured for her to get into the second row of back seats instead. "I say we crash it after the game."
"That sounds great!" Pinkie Pie squealed as she got into the front seat, nearly bouncing up and down and shaking the vehicle.
Applejack climbed in beside Rainbow Dash and the two left a space between them, sitting at the windows. Rainbow Dash peered over at her best friend, a subject just brimming on the tip of her tongue. She said nothing though, noticing the somewhat concerned or worried expression that settled onto her face. Rarity started the car and pulled out, heading back towards the farm house.
Rainbow Dash rolled down her window and looked outside, feeling the wind whipping through her hair and blowing it around. Unlike Rarity, she loved the feeling of her hair getting messed up. Applejack still sat there in silence, and it bothered Rainbow. She was about to speak up and ask what was wrong, when Applejack herself decided to talk.
"Think Mac'll be mad at me about hidin' Fluttershy in his closet like that?" She asked no one or everyone, but the only person to reply was Rainbow Dash.
"He's a big boy, I'm sure he can handle a little joke." She told her best friend, who nodded a few times but still had that gloomy look on her face. Rainbow smirked as she got an idea and unbuckled her seat belt, crawling over the seats towards the freckled girl. Applejack leaned back in surprise but watched as Rainbow pressed down on the automatic window button, rolling it down in front of her, "Hey, Applejack? You smell that?"
Their eyes met in the dim lighting, their faces so near that a bump on the road or sudden stop could have forced them together. Finally Rainbow pulled back and put her hands on her own window sill, ducking under the roof as she climbed out a ways and let her torso emerge into the evening air. Applejack just stared at her for a moment, but unbuckled her own seat belt and followed her lead, leaning out her own window. She breathed in the cool air and closed her eyes for a moment, letting the familiar scent fill her to the core. Applejack smiled and described it to the wind, though Rainbow could hear her well anyway.
"Yeah, fresh cut grass, if I ain't mistaken." Applejack said loudly over the sound of the roaring winds, and Rainbow Dash grinned widely to hear it. They both took one last breath before climbing back inside.
"Exactly. Smells good, right?" Rainbow Dash asked, but didn't wait for a response. She scooted a little closer to Applejack and tilted her head towards her, "One day when you're like a hundred years old, still living on that old farm I bet, your grand kids will be out there mowing the lawn and you'll smell that sweet, sweet scent. And you'll think of me."
A smile melted across Applejack's features as her eyes gazed admiringly at her best friend, "I s'pose so." The two remained quiet for a moment as the topic settled, and Rainbow decided it would be best to get back on to the game.
"So, who's next, Applejack?" She asked pryingly, her teeth showing in her devious grin.
Applejack's eyes never wavered from the face of her best friend, and she decided upon the next in line at that moment, "How about you, Rainbow?"
"Read my mind, baby." Rainbow nudged her teasingly and called her something rather informal and intimate, which like anything else came off her lips sarcastically.
"Oh come off it, you always act just so tough and fearless." Rarity spat as she peered at them in the rear-view mirror, shaking her head, "I bet dares scare you just like anyone else."
"You think so?" Rainbow Dash leaned forwards antagonistically and glared at the diva driving, "All right, well then, how about you dare me, Rarity?"
"I'm so glad you asked." Rarity tipped her nose up in pride and knew exactly what would throw Rainbow Dash off that high-horse.
"Hey girls, it's midnight!" Twilight called from the back, "You think we should call Fluttershy and tell her where we are?"
"Yes. Tell her to ask Big Mac for a ride." Rarity told her as she began to turn the steering wheel all the way around, pulling an illegal U-turn in the middle of the empty street. The rest of the girls held on tightly as she did, and Rarity's eyes hit the rear-view mirror once again, locking her glare onto Rainbow Dash. "Tell her to meet us at the liquor store off thirty-sixth."