The RED infirmary remained chaotic as Miss Pauling sighed and gently rubbed her temples.
The mercenaries were yelling out their disbelief or were indulging in even more disbelief as she remained calm in the eye of the sudden storm of protesting voices. The only ones who seemed to not totally freak out about the civilian's abrupt join to RED were the Engineer - who was warned ahead of time by the Spy - the Spy himself - who had somehow seen this coming - and oddly enough, the Pyro, who happened to be still staring at the now sleeping man in the bed before him and thoroughly ignored everything happening around him.
"Fraulein Pauling?!"
"Oi lady, what do you think you're doing, letting a civvie like him fight with us?!"
"What the bloody hell, lass?!"
"Big man fights with us now? But why?"
"My God! Miss Pauling, what you've done is a breach of all our contracts!"
Everyone paused to stare at the Soldier, before shrugging and returning to the scenario before them.
"I'm sorry everyone, but I didn't have a choice. I was under the Administrator's orders to recruit Mr. Apple to RED." She explained slowly, clearing a strand of hair that got in the way of her eyes. "And I didn't want to disappoint her - all of you here know fully well what's she's like when she's... displeased, especially if someone ever disobeys her orders."
"True..." The Engineer nodded uneasily as he tipped his hardhat up. "But still ma'am, that doesn't mean she can just hire Mr. Apple here out of the blue! What if he's just a tourist who lost his way to the nearest town, and just happened to be passing by trying to find his way back?"
The others exchanged murmurs while the Medic stepped even closer to the sleeping man before him to study him, holding a note board of his own, carefully inspecting every part of the man he could right now as he listed down his observations like an overworked scientist getting a breakthrough in his tedious research. As he did so, the curious Soldier reached out a finger to poke the sleeping man in the ribs to sate whatever he was thinking about, but the Medic saw it and harshly swatted it away before it touched the civilian-turned-RED.
The Heavy silently chuckled at his teammates' interaction before returning to the unfolding drama before him.
"Mr. Apple is not a tourist, Engineer." The Spy motioned warily to the sleeping blond. "I checked his pockets while no one was looking, and I found no passport of any kind on him. He's definitely not a tourist, if you also take note of his clothes."
To illustrate his point, the Frenchman pointed to Big Macintosh's farm clothing.
"No man in his right mind would go out into a desert dressed like that." He concluded, smirking proudly.
"The Spy's right." The Demoman readily agreed, only after taking a good look himself. "Hell, even if I'm drunk, I wouldn't go out into a desert dressed in those clothes!"
"Meaning big man is stranger to deserts?" The Heavy questioned, while the Soldier cupped his chin and thought about it himself.
"Yes, possibly." The Spy nodded to the Russian. "So, that leads me to believe that he's entirely... something else."
"Something else?" The Sniper repeated impatiently, to which the Demoman raised his eyebrow in question as well.
"Mfph mph mmphy! Mfph mfrmph mph mphd mmpfh Mrffmphia!"
Everyone, bar the Engineer, looked at the Pyro as if he'd spontaneously grown two extra heads for saying such a thing.
"What." Miss Pauling simply said in surprise, while the Texan sighed and scratched the back of his head.
"Pyro, pardner, I'm really sorry to burst your bubble, but he ain't a pony." The Engineer lectured gently. "And no, he's not from a made-up land called Equestria. He's a man just like you are, born somewhere here in America, or wherever the heck Ponyville is."
The Engineer spared a glance at the sleeping blond, and then wisely added: "Or at least I think so."
"Mrfph mph mrph!" The Pyro pouted, but the Engineer shook his head and ignored him.
"Oh put a sock in it, Pyro." The Soldier snickered warmly as he affectionately put a hand on the fire lover's shoulder.
The Pyro crossed his arms and annoyedly 'hmphed' in response.
"Anyways..." The Spy continued with a clearing of his throat. "Now that we've made sure that Mr. Apple is not a tourist and that he has joined us in our war with BLU, shall we let go of the topic of his recruitment - for now - and focus on another that is equally important?"
"What?" Everyone asked carefully, except for Miss Pauling who seemed to know what the Spy was getting at.
"What class should he ought to be?"
+
Dreaming was something that Big Macintosh enjoyed during a well-deserved sleep after a hard day's work at Sweet Apple Acres, but he wasn't sure if he could count dreaming after being questioned by an ambiguously brown woman who coincidentally resembled Twilight Sparkle as enjoyable. Or was that a dream too? That he wasn't sure about, but then again he had a very weird day so far. Oh well, what did that matter anyway? He was asleep, and to top it off, he was dreaming.
Lucid dreaming, to be specific.
This time the blond found himself standing alone not in a desert full of unending sand and metallic scorpions, but in a forest that resembled the Everfree Forest in a sense. Not that it meant he never been to the place before, but that he'd been there enough times to know what the area was like. He shuddered as he felt the cold air rush over him as a wind gushed through the forest, sending the leaves rustling towards one direction - which happened to be towards him.
It was a nice change from the heatless desert he'd previously been in, though he suddenly felt intimidated.
"But this..." He muttered, a sudden brave smile on his face. "This, I could get used to."
As he ventured into what he knew was his dreamscape, his thoughts wandered off into thinking about his family, too worried about them to pay attention to his shifting surroundings. Behind him, a part of Sweet Apple Acres was forming and replacing the forest behind him, the apple trees for which the Apples were known for growing and harvesting heavily laden with, well, apples - sprouting out of the ground in neat rows as he moved onwards.
Eventually, most of Big Macintosh's dream forest was replaced with the farm he lived and worked on for his entire life. Half his house was in place where it was supposed to be and the other half was still materializing as the pony-turned-human continued thinking deeply while on the move about his predicament to even notice. He soon stopped in his tracks and sighed a long, wistful sigh. By Faust, he missed his hometown and family very much. He actually missed everyone. Even the Flim-Flam brothers, who nearly drove his family out of business.
Was he that homesick already?
He thought so, not that he thought anyone can blame him for it. Who would want to, anyway?
"Big Macintosh?!"
Big Macintosh immediately froze. Somehow, one of the voices from the desert he was in was back to distract him.
But why did that voice sound much clearer, and much louder, and so much like-
"Applejack?!" The man called out as he rapidly turned around, but only saw the forest path he'd been through.
He even recognized the rock on the trodden road he nearly stepped on.
Big Macintosh closed his eyes, and shook his head to clear his mind. "Oh, that's just darned great. Now I'm hallucinating about hearing Applejack's voice, in my lucid dream. Eeyup, I'm definitely going crazy, even while I'm dreaming."
With a frustrated growl, he let his anger get the best of him. In turn, he threw a punch into a tree he stood right next to. It collapsed loudly to the ground, it being uprooted by the force of his punch. Other trees fell over too, them being taken down by it as it topped over. A multitude of trees both near and far rustled while leaves fell because of the impact, some flying into the wind and others staying where they fell to.
Big Macintosh stared at the mess he made, before he turned to run.
"Damn it all!"
Whether if it was the anger of being away from his family, or the fact he was still a human and was starting to lose it, that caused him to start running away, he didn't know for sure, but running suddenly sounded like a good idea to calm himself as he sprinted off deeper into his Everfree Forest-esque dreamscape. He didn't care about encountering weird monsters or things that were worse; he remembered he was in a lucid dream and that he had full control over it.
... Well, not really. He was just subconsciously reassuring himself.
As the troubled man ran, he failed to notice the cloaked, black figure that followed him deeper into the woodland.
+
The Scout's eyes blinked twice to adjust to the bright light over him. His ears could catch voices conversing with each other as his right hand reached to cover one of his eyes while rubbing it. With a soft yawn he rose while stretching, feeling his strength returning to his arms and legs. Overdrawing out his now silent yawn as he continued to stretch, stretch, and stretch, he finally stopped half-a-minute later and sleepily looked around, absentmindedly smacking his lips.
He saw clean white walls, clean white beds, a clean white ceiling, a clean white tiled floor, clean white ceiling lights, a group of older men wearing red, the wrecked remains of a brown chair on the floor, a fully clothed sleeping man on a bed not too far away, and a pretty woman wearing purple standing in the middle of those men wearing red clothes. If another man was in his shoes, now was the perfect time to realize he was in his base's infirmary...
Because the Scout didn't. He believed he was dreaming one of those weird waking dreams again as his senses very, very slowly returned. Enjoying the sight of the pretty woman when he turned to look at her again, he smiled, and decided to wave at her to draw her attention away from the men who were obviously hitting on her, so she could found out how much of a hunk he was and then decide to go out with him much to the chagrin of the older men.
The woman paused in talking with the men, then looked at him quizzically, before waving back.
"Oh man, she waved back at me." The Scout whispered to himself dreamily. "I'm making progress hooking up with her already."
There was a scoff from the woman, and she began to walk towards the Scout, whose smile widened every step.
"Annnnnd she's getting closer to me." He was grinning. "My plan worked, oh yeah! Hey baby, come over here. Gimme a kiss to make the start of my day even better!"
And then the Scout 'seductively' closed his eyes and leaned in for a 'quick' kiss from the 'imaginary' woman.
SMACK!
He got a slap to the face instead, and then he fell back to the world of unconsciousness, flopping back to his pillow.
+
Miss Pauling huffed to calm herself, before turning to the amused REDs. "Sorry about that. Where were we?"
The Medic coughed to stop his internal laughter. "On the subject of whether or not we should let Herr Apple become a Spy, Fraulein Pauling, as suggested by Herr Spy himself."
"Oh. Right." The woman said as she mentally readjusted back to the conversation. "I don't think we should."
"That was worth a shot." The Spy sighed defeatedly, the Engineer patting him on the shoulder. "Ah, well."
The Heavy hummed thoughtfully, causing everyone to look at him. "How about big man... becoming Soldier?"
Everyone turned to face the Soldier thoughtfully.
"Well, what do you think, Soldier?" The Engineer asked for everyone, his hand cupping his chin in afterthought.
That idea actually didn't sound bad - it didn't hurt to have another Soldier on the team rain down rocket hell on the BLUs.
"I don't know..." The Soldier began uncomfortably, after giving it considerable thought himself. "Though Private Apple's got the build for it, I can't say how good he'll be at being a Soldier unless I see him in action, after he gets some training from me. I'll think about it, but then again..."
"'S fine, Soldier." The Sniper replied, adjusting his shades as he leaned forward. "Well back on topic, so far we've ruled the man out being a Scout, a Pyro, a Sniper, a Spy, a Medic, or an Engineer, leaving him being a Soldier as a 'maybe' for now."
The Demoman stepped in. "Aye, he's too bulky and too strong for those roles except for being a Soldier, and I think when I say this everyone'll agree that he'll make a good Heavy because of his strength. Or at least, a Demoman."
Everyone else nodded at the Scotsman's words and even murmured more in agreement.
"Just making sure, but does anyone think Herr Apple will be better off as a different class rather than a Heavy, Soldier, or a Demoman?" The Medic asked, gazing across the infirmary. "No?"
Nobody said anything, but they shrugged or shook their heads instead.
"So it's settled then." The German clasped his gloved hands together, smiling. "Herr Apple will be either one of the three chosen classes. How splendid!"
"Most likely he'll be a Soldier, though." The Soldier beamed. "I'll be looking forward to having him fight with us when the time comes."
"After some training from hell, of course." The Sniper quipped from the sidelines. He was good-naturedly ignored.
"I, for one, will be glad to call him my battle-brother if he chooses to become a Heavy like I am." The Heavy, eloquently - in rare perfect English - added too, a soft smile tugging on his lips.
The Demoman snorted, smirking at the bald Russian. "Not if I can show him the joys of being a drunkard first, Heavy!"
Everyone minus the Engineer laughed, except for the Pyro and Miss Pauling who giggled instead.
He hummed for a bit. Then the Texan decided it was time to clear his throat, making everyone settle down and look at him.
"Fellas, now, I know it's a good thing we've reached a decision on what class he could be once he's up and running and all, but..." He stopped with a frown. "There's still a problem we haven't dealt with, or even talked about in the first place."
"Well, what is it Engineer?" The Spy wondered curiously as he turned to faced his teammate. "Do tell us."
The Engineer hesitated, but relented. "What'll happen if... if Mr. Apple here doesn't want to fight with us?"
A tense silence fell.
Team RED had forgotten to take into account the man's own opinion into the matter.
"He'll have to if he wants to live."
Everyone sharply turned to look at Miss Pauling. She stood firm at the serious attention she was getting.
"Let me explain, everyone. Because he signed his contract - even under unusual circumstances - Mann Co. technically owns him now as per the terms written in the fine print. There's nothing he can do about it, short of killing himself or hiding from the company. Also, the other option will end up killing him anyway if he does try to hide from us before his contract expires, which is - sadly - never. There's no place he can hide should the Administrator sets her sights on him. And, if he still refuses to cooperate despite having no choice, he'll be summarily executed on the spot either by one of you or by one of the BLUs, on or off the battlefield."
"Oh. Damn." The Engineer gasped, shocked. "But wait a minute, does that also mean we're-"
"No." She cut him off abruptly. "No. Everyone of you in this very room aside from him have normal contract terms, meaning all of you are safe to leave the company at any given time if the Administrator gives you her permission to. Mr. Macintosh Apple, on the other hand, is a special case. A very special case."
"Dare I ask why?" The Spy asked with a raised brow, his voice edged.
"I can't say." Miss Pauling frowned honestly. "The Administrator forbade me from telling anyone."
"I see..." The Spy narrowed his eyes. That was cause for suspicion. He'll investigate later.
The RED infirmary fell quiet again, the only sounds left in the room being the Scout's and Macintosh's gentle snoring and everyone else's breathing. The REDs made eye contact with each other, all wondering the same thing: What was so special about their newest teammate, Macintosh Apple, that made their boss practically enslave him?
Miss Pauling coughed. "I should get going now, since I've already done what I came here to do."
The mercenaries moved out of her way as she made for the door, carrying her belongings with her. She stopped as she reached for the doorknob though, a random thought crossing her mind. Shrugging it off after taking a long look at the scribble Big Macintosh scrawled on his contract, she turned back to look at the men whom she grown accustomed to over the years.
"I'll see you all later, gentlemen. Someone please tell Scout that I'm sorry for what I did to him earlier. And, good luck with your upcoming battle next week. Oh, and by the way, someone should clean up that mess Heavy made on the floor. Bye."
And with that, the Assistant left the REDs to their own problems, gently closing the door behind her.
"So..." The Soldier began, long after Miss Pauling went to wherever the Administrator was. "What'll we do now?"
"Now?" The smirking Medic echoed, leaning towards the Soldier while chuckling darkly. "Let's go make a class training routine for Herr Apple. We have the rest of the day to plan what's best for him."