MLP Time Loops

by Saphroneth


MLP Loops 27

27.1

“All the cakes have been sabotaged!” Pinkie gasped. “I know just what to do!”

The others looked at her sceptically. “Really?”

“Yeah!” She pulled a clockwork pigeon from her mane, slotted in a key, and wound it up. After a few turns, she lifted it to her mouth and spoke slowly and clearly. “I need your help. Come quick.”

The earth pony trotted briskly to the window and threw the pigeon out.

It flew exactly as well as a dense lump of metal would be expected to fly, bounced off the gravel, and exploded into a cloud of gears and springs.

“You rang?” Discord asked, coming through a trapdoor in the floor.

Pinkie clapped her hooves. “I knew that would get your attention!”

“Actually, you were just passing by. I was having a sleep.”

“Where?” Gustav asked, looking out the window. “There is not any lights for miles…”

“The sleepers, duh.” Discord turned to Pinkie. “So, what’s up?”

“Someone’s been eating the cakes!” Pinkie said, pointing. “That one, and that one, and those two.”

The chaotic draconequus snapped his fingers and materialized a magnifying glass, deerstalker hat and bubble pipe.

“No, sorry…” Pinkie shook her head. “We already did that one.”

Discord looked downcast. “What about if I speak in zee foreign accent, like zee great Parrot?”

A rolling pin bounced off his head.

“I think Gustave finds it offensive.” Pinkie retrieved the rolling pin and passed it back to him. “Eight out of ten for accuracy, but only a six for force.”

Discord got out a long list. “Hmmm… magical private eye?”

“Twilight did that one.”

“Secret agent?”

“Yes?” Joe answered, then paled. “Oh, what a giveaway!”

Getting out his magnifying glass again, Discord perused the list. Having a quick peek, Mulia was none the wiser. “List of mystery plot protagonist stereotypes? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Discord glanced over the paper at her. “And so much for ninja, as well. Right, that’s it, I’m completely out of stereotypes. They’ve all been done.”

Pinkie passed him a PADD. “What about the hacker?”

“…I was just testing you,” he said unconvincingly, and pulled a cord out of the back of the PADD. “Right…”

He typed on the little computer seemingly at random, occasionally saying things like ‘disabling code walls’ or ‘hacking all IPs simultaneously.’.

Eventually, he held it up triumphantly. “I have it! It was the butler!”

Everyone else on the train gave him a look.

“…fine, then, don’t trust the hacker.” Discord snapped his fingers, and the damage to the cakes was repaired. “Right, I’m going back to my nap.”

Opening the trapdoor again to reveal a long set of spiral stairs, he walked down them muttering and was out of sight.

Mulia shook her head. “Did that just happen?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Hey, we got our cakes back, right?”


27.2

Cadence trotted over to the door. “Coming!”

When it creaked open, she saw one of the palace maids standing there.

Her eyes narrowed, then widened. “Oh, you poor thing! Shining, come here!”

The unicorn cantered over. “What is it, dear?”

“The poor thing’s starving, look!” Cadence pointed to the maid, who was now looking a little confused. “Can we help her?”

“I don’t know…” Shining said, dubiously.

“Please?” Cadence did her best puppy-eyes.

Shining gave in. “Alright, dear. You know best.”

She nibbled his mane affectionately, then they touched horns. A brief pulse of bright pink magic flared up, and the maid collapsed.

A moment later, there was a crackle of green energy, and Queen Chrysalis lay revealed and blinking up at them. “What…”

“That should do you for a bit,” Cadence said with a smile. “We’ll get you sorted out with more love later on, but for now you need a bit of rest.”

The ruler of the Changelings thought about that.

Eh, may as well go along with it.


27.3

“Hm…” the mouse said, squinting up at Twilight. “I’m afraid you’re a little… big to fit in the door.”

Twilight examined it. “I think I could squeeze in… but you’re right, best not to risk it.”

“I’ll get the cooks to send you out food, then.” The young mouse lay back on the springy roadside grass, looking up at her. “By the way… would you mind helping us with what comes up next in our Loop?”

“Not at all,” Twilight replied.

“Good.” A chuckle. “Cluny’s still kind of a threat – he’s hardly an idiot, and getting together all the bits of Martin’s armour isn’t as safe as it could be – but since the biggest defender we normally have is a badger…”

After a short pause, Matthias looked up again. “How are you at puzzles?”

“I’m alright.” Twilight shrugged. “I don’t often get new ones, to be honest, which is a bit of a pain.”

“You’ll like our Loop, then. Hold on a minute, I’ll write down the first one we normally run into. It’s hidden in the great hall.”

Twilight smiled as the mouse scampered off. He seemed quite a pleasant fellow… although everyone here was so small compared to her that it was setting off Fluttershy-Squee responses.


27.4

There was a knock on the door, and the Crusaders looked up from their card game. “Come in!”

The door creaked, admitting a black filly in a cloak. “Hi, everypony, Twilight said you were all – wait, what’s she doing here?”

Diamond Tiara stared. “What are you doing in here?”

“I asked first!” The filly stamped a hoof and stuck her tongue out. “So there.”

“Should we do something?” Applebloom asked quietly.

“Nah,” Scootaloo replied, putting her cards down face-down. “I’ll go make some milkshakes.”

“I am Diamond Tiara,” the earth pony said, posing briefly. “I was invited. Officially, and everything.”

“Seriously?” The filly shot a pitying look at Sweetie Belle. Then turned back to Diamond. “Wait, why did you accept?

“I answered your question,” Diamond replied, pointing. “Now you answer mine.”

“I’m a Crusader as well!” The filly turned, showing off her cloak. “See?”

“Well, I’ve never met you.”

“Look, are you guys Looping or not? ‘cause now I’m wondering if this is a bizarre alternate Equestria…”

“This is coming from you?” Sweetie asked, and the filly blushed.

“We are looping,” Applebloom said. “All four of us.”

“…oh.” With a flap of wings that had been hidden under the cloak, the newcomer revealed herself to be an alicorn. “Hi, then, I’m Nyx. I’m kinda Princess Luna’s dark-but-not-evil side, it’s complicated. Sorry I reacted so badly, I once nearly got et by monsters ‘cause of a different version of you.”

“Fair enough.” Diamond shrugged. “I hope to show I’ve learned my lesson.”

Nyx gaped. “Seriously, guys, is this an alternate universe version of Diamond Tiara? This is really confusing me. No offence.”

“Some taken,” the pink filly replied.

Sweetie and Applebloom exchanged looks. “Was that a seven?”

“Eight!” Scootaloo shouted from the kitchen area, and came over balancing five milkshakes on hooves, wings and forehead. “…can somepony take these, please? I didn’t give nearly enough thought how to get them down again.”

Nyx and Sweetie lifted some down, passed one on to each earth pony, and sat down with their own.

“So…” Diamond said, awkwardly, “tell me how it is that you, er… exist.”

“Well,” Nyx replied, “when an evil cult and a dark goddess love each other very much, and then they fluff a magic ritual designed to resurrect the evil goddess by using the blood of Momma – that’s Twilight Sparkle – they get a ball of fluff and feathers with no memory of her past life. That’s me. And then I got raised by Twilight for, like, a month or so, before the evil cult brought back my memories of being evil.”

Applebloom cut in. “Yeah, a thousand years of evil rage ain’t much compared to a month of talkin’ to Twilight.”

“Pre-tty much.” Nyx looked down. “This is really good milkshake. Anyway, took over the world, didn’t feel like it, gave the world back, and then ‘cause of super luck I got Looping. I don’t turn up much, but I can’t complain.”

Diamond nodded along. “Yeah, that’s about the second strangest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Second?” Nyx asked, interested.

“Jewel Scouts,” all the others chorused.

“…yeah, I’ll ask later. Hey, what game are you playing?”

“It’s called Chaos. Discord gave it to us for playtesting.” Applebloom picked up her cards, and blinked. “I could swear I had a different set of cards five minutes ago.”


27.5

“Okay, here we are,” Twilight said, ushering the other five Elements in. “This is our new headquarters.”

They looked around the single large room. There was a large projector on the ceiling, a complex mess of scientific equipment at one corner, and three sets of double doors leading off the central area.

“Well, it looks nice…” Rarity said, with a moue of distaste for the furnishings. “I assume I can touch it up a bit?”

“Feel free,” Twilight replied. “Now, this is the pantry.”

Trotting smartly over to the first set of double doors on the north wall, she opened them to reveal a vast, cavernous room with dozens of aisles of freezers and cupboards. It looked like there was enough food in there to feed them for three years.

“Where do we prepare it, then?” Pinkie asked. “There better be a good kitchen!”

Twilight smiled, and opened the second set of doors – the east wall – to reveal a kitchen that could cater for a hotel.

“Wait, wait…” Dash frowned. “Food is cool, but what about… you know.”

Twilight nodded to the doors on the west wall. “Through there is the bathroom, showers, toilets, hot tub, spa and swimming pool.”

The others looked at her with confusion. “Hold on a minute,” Applejack said, voicing their thoughts, “Where do we sleep?”

The unicorn gave a mysterious smile and opened the north doors, revealing a much larger version of her own bedroom. Closing the doors and opening them again, this time an enlarged version of Dash’s room was revealed.

With gradually dropping jaws, the Elements watched as Twilight opened the three double doors in a seemingly random pattern to reveal four more large bedrooms, a games room, a library, a gymnasium and a room full of seemingly random junk.

“Anyway,” she said, finally shutting the third set of doors on a wardrobe large enough that it had a railway line on the floor, “I’ve printed up some adverts saying we do anything, any time. So if there’s a problem anywhere in Equestria and somepony needs our help, they’ll come to us.”


27.6

“This is the third one of these crimes in the last month,” Sergeant Stronghoof reported grimly. “Mode of operation is always the same. Jewellery stolen, box open, but the rooms are always locked. It’s a locked-room mystery, sir.”

Shining blinked. “...over half the population in this city is unicorns, sergeant. What’s so significant about a locked room?”

“Yeah,” Stronghoof said, nodding. “I know it’s not a big deal normally, but all the owners swear blind the rooms don’t normally have locks on them.”

“…oh.” Shining trotted over to examine the door more closely. “That’s not subtle, that’s showing off. And this magic got past the house owners?”

“Yep.” Stronghoof consulted a pad of paper. “Which is rather strange, because they’re all very skilled mages who would detect this kind of thing normally.”

“Sir!”

Shining and the sergeant both spun to face the young guardsmare who’d spoken. “What is it, Rosette?”

“Sir… there’s a letter for you outside, captain.”

“Right.” Shining made for the door. “I think I can handle this myself, sergeant.”

“Wait – but – sir?” Stronghoof sputtered for a moment, then cantered after the captain.

When he left the building, however, he saw no sign of the guard captain, and a torn envelope on the floor.


A blue unicorn leant back against a chimney tower, feeling pleased with herself.

Then, with a rush of wings, a white figure landed in front of her. “Give yourself up!”

“Like hay!” she shouted back. “Wait. S – the S stands for Shining?

Trixie Lulamoon, professional criminal, collapsed on the roof heaving with laughter.

Shining looked down at himself. “I didn’t think it was that bad…”

“You’re wearing… oh, hee…” Trixie stifled her giggles with an effort of will, and rolled back upright again. “You’re dressed as superman?”

“Super-pony, thank you very much.” The stallion shrugged. “I’ve already got the shield, the ability to fly, and the invulnerability – with the right spell. You don’t think it fits…?”

Trixie shook her head. “Nope. Does Cadence know you do this?”

“Actually…” Shining pointed.

Hooves clattered on the stonework as a second alicorn touched down next to them.

Trixie collapsed with laughter again.

“I feel hurt…” Cadence said sadly.

Shining put a wing over her. “Don’t worry, Wonder Mare.”

“Wonder mare!” Trixie gasped out.

“Well, you’re one to talk,” Shining said stubbornly. “I mean, you are acting the supervillain this time.”

Trixie wobbled as she climbed back to her hooves for a second time. “Yeah, thanks for – pfft – for reminding me.” She tapped the side of her neck, and the alicorn amulet dropped from where it had been hidden to dangle freely.

“…wuh-oh…” Shining muttered.

“Isn’t that thing evil?” Cadence asked, frowning.

“Not quite evil per se.” Trixie shrugged, a red glow developing around her. “It’s an emotional amplifier with magical feedback and it makes you very short tempered, and it affects your judgement, but if I’m right then I shouldn’t be much more impetuous than I normally am.”

“And if you’re wrong?” Shining said, a sinking feeling stealing over him.

“Well, in that case, it’s nice we’re all in costume,” Trixie shrugged. “Should I tell you to Kneel Before Trixie, or shall we skip to the fight scene?”

“…next time, we choose different costumes!” Shining hissed to his wife.

“Aw…” Cadence replied, pouting. “But I like these ones…”


Twilight clicked her stopwatch as red/pink/blue magic erupted over the city of Canterlot. “…six hours, five minutes, twelve seconds between putting it on and resorting to force. Well, she’s getting better at controlling it…”

“Is this really worth it?” Spike asked. “For the research side of it, I mean.”

Twilight shrugged. “Borderline. But as for the show she puts on…” she slid a bag of popcorn over to him, and opened another after flash-heating it with a quick spell.

Spike nodded. “Fair enough.” He started eating his own popcorn, as flashes like lightning bounced off the clouds. “Think we should sell tickets?”


27.7 (misterq)

"It was us, Mistress Rarity," said the leader of the Diamond Dogs as all the other canids ran towards the surface in sheer panic, "We didn't means to, but we dug deep. Too deep."

"What? What have you unleashed?" Rairty asked, even as she prepared her emergency teleport spell.

"No time! No time! They'll be here soon. We must flee!" The alpha dog said before he, too, ran for the exit.

Rairty glanced back towards the mine when she began to hear it. It started quietly, like a whispering brook; but slowly intensified as the distance between decreased. The pale unicorn managed to pale even further, her eyes diminishing into pinpricks, as she finally recognized the sound that she would never ever forget for as long as she existed.

The sound of, "Fun? Fun? Fun! Fun! Funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfun!!"


27.8 (Stainless Steel Fox)


Academic Excellence (Final part)


When Lightning Dust arrived in the mess hall the next morning, there was something different about her, her usual self confident attitude absent along with the grin on her face. The other Ponyville ponies were sitting with Dash as usual, and they quieted and turned to look at her as she came up to the table. Lightning Dust looked almost ready to turn and bolt, but Dash gave her a slight nod and a reassuring grin, so she visibly gritted her teeth, screwing up her courage to say something.

“Uh.... Hey, every-pony. Good day for flying...” She tried a grin, but it didn't seem to lighten the others expressions. She sighed. “Look, guys, I've been doing a lot of thinking, about what you all said last night, about what Dashy said, and I want to say... I'm sorry!”

That seemed to mollify them somewhat and, encouraged, she continued. “I guess I've been acting like a jerk, to all of you, but I don't get this touchy-feely stuff, I've always worked alone because, well it's hard for me to slow to other ponies speed! I love going fast and looking awesome doing it! I never figured out this whole 'getting along with other ponies' thing because I never needed it. ”

She shook her head, shaking out her mane. “But Dash was right. No Wonderbolt ever flew solo. If I ever want to join them, I need to learn. I know I haven't exactly given you much reason to help me, but that's what I'm asking for. Please, could you guys give me a helping hoof?”

The other ponies looked back and forth between themselves, and finally Thunderlane spoke for them. “Okay... I guess we'll soon see if you're full of cumulus or not.”

After food, the group trooped out to the runway for that day's exercise. Spitfire was there, apparently getting her ears cleaned out with a sonic blast as one of her cohorts blew a reveille right next to her. However, it didn't seem to affect her speech as she gave them their mission.

"Today we'll be doing our famous air obstacle course. The object of this exercise is to work on your precision flying under extreme circumstances. And don't worry about winning. It's not a race."

Every-pony in the cadet line up looked towards Lightning Dust, who had the good grace to blush.

“Now everypony, get on your marks!”

They dusted off in pairs, Snowflake and Cloudchaser in the lead, with Thunderlane and Raindrops then Milky Way and Wildflower behind them. Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust were the last pair waved off the runway.

Lightning Dust spoke as soon as they were air-borne. “Okay, let's do this... don't worry, I've got it, not a race, right?”

“Yep!” Rainbow Dash replied, “Doesn't mean we can't stay in perfect synch and blow every-pony away with our precision flying. Just give me a vector!”

Lightning Dust was unsurprised to find that when they got in the assigned air-lane, Dash stayed on her wing as if nailed there. They swept through the cloud hoops and weaved around the rising clouds like they weren't there and even though they weren't pushing it, they soon came up behind Milky Way and his partner.

“Aw stratus! I can't see a way past without getting out of our track!” Lightning Dust exclaimed. Then she realised what she'd said, and looked over at Dash. “I guess we're stuck here then?”

“Not if we ask for help.” Dash replied. “This isn't a race, like the lady said. Besides, I've got a manoeuvre that'll work. The Flying Cross!”

An quick explanation and a demonstration with her fore-hooves showed Lightning Dust what to do.

“I like it!” Lightning Dust replied eagerly. “Uh guys... Milky Way wasn't it and...” A whisper from Rainbow gave her “... and Wildflower. We need to pass, just stay straight and level, okay?”

“You only have to ask.” Wildflower called back.

“Huh, I guess so.” Lightning Dust replied, surprised at how easy that had been. “Ready?”

At Rainbow Dash's nod, they powered forward, doing a roll around a common centre. They swept past the other two ponies at right angles, Dash below and Dust above, their wing-tips forming a cross with the wings of the other ponies. They completed their roll-out without mussing a single hair in the manes of the others, though the conditions made that difficult to see.

“Aw yeah!” Dust punched the air. “We can blaze through this course like that!”

“Sure, if you want to do it the easy way...” Rainbow grinned.

“What're you talking about pony?” Lightning Dust asked back.

“Well, remember my vortex manoeuvre right back the first night? We could pick up the other six as trailers and go for an eight way formation. That should knock every-pony's goggles off!”

“That would be pretty awesome!” Lightning Dust called back. “You guys up for that?”

“Just watch us!” Wildflower exclaimed. They flew up behind the leading ponies as the two started to rev up their wings. Dash and Dust blasted forward, and drew Milky Way and Wildflower after them. The two rear ponies were straining to keep up, even with the aid of drafting behind the leaders, but they stayed on their tails through swerve and swoop and loop the loop.

They caught up with Thunderlane and his wing-pony soon after, and flying crossed past them before making the same offer, and finally Cloudchaser and Snowflake just before the nastiest part of the course where the storm winds started. Both pairs quickly agreed to the plan.

The eight ponies formed a double line as they followed the leader, punching their way into the lightning filled storm tunnel. Dust powered ahead, creating dead air as Dash did the same beside her, and felt rather than saw the change as Wildflower behind her started to slip out of the formation. An extra side blast of her wing rebounded the air-flow to bring her back into line, and she called back, “Keep it together!”

Lightning Dust wasn't going anywhere near as fast as normal, but she found to her great surprise that she wasn't bothered about it. The ponies behind her were sticking to her tail like a cloud-burr, following her every move, relying on her to guide them, and she found she was enjoying it. Dash was letting her call the shots as lead-pony, and she suddenly realised she wanted to be worthy of that trust.

The storm lashed at them, and the ponies controlling the lightning fired off near misses that practically singed their manes, but the eight ponies powered on through. Then they reached the final stage, moving horizontal bars of air.

“Okay, let's buck it up a notch and go over and under!” Lightning Dust called out. The eight ponies rippled up and down as they went through at full speed, and powered out of the other side still tightly together in their wing pairs.

“Okay, the big finish!” She called out. “Let's land in formation, every-pony aim to drop hooves at the same time, if you guys figure you can!”

“Just watch us!” Thunderlane called forward, and Snowflake yelled “YEAH!”

They blew in like a stray gale, slamming hooves down and sliding out to a stop on the runway in front of Spitfire. If the clap of hooves wasn't perfect, it was only by a fraction of a second.

“An eight way formation?” Spitfire's glasses actually slid down her muzzle and she quickly pushed them back up. “Impressive. You do know you didn't have to do that?”

“No-pony said we didn't either ma'am!” Lightning Dust replied, saluting and trying to hold back a big grin with indifferent success.

“Well, it worked.” Spitfire shook her head as she consulted her stop-watch. “That might just be the fastest time any group of cadets ever pulled on the obstacle course. Okay, you can all hit the mess. Dismissed!”

“Woo hoo!” “YEAH!” “How's that for kicking some cloud!” The ponies broke formation and celebrated. As they went off, Spitfre motioned Lightning Dust over. “A word, cadet.”

Lightning Dust suddenly lost her grin as she started to worry she might have been too cocky about their win. She glanced at Dash and took some comfor4t from the lack of worry on her face. Dash knew Spitfire better, and she wasn't the type to enjoy seeing another pony get hammered.

“Don't worry cadet, I just wanted to congratulate you on the way you lead the flight.” Spitfire looked over the top of her shades. “I'm glad to see you've overcome that attitude control problem you had yesterday.”

“But I didn't...” Lightning Dust did a double take. Had Spitfire just made a joke? “Yes ma'am, thank you ma'am!”

The Academy head returned the salute and glanced over at Rainbow Dash. “Looks like I made the right decision, pairing the two of you together. You make a great team.”

As she walked away, Dash preened.

“Oh yeah! We bucked that cloud all the way to Las Pegasus!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, raising her hoof for a hoof bump which Dust returned. “Well, all that awesomeness has made me feel hungry.”

“Me too!” Lightning Dust replied, flapping out her wings. “I feel the need... the need, to feed!”

Laughing and chatting the pair headed off towards the mess.


“... and that was the second time I kicked out a Sonic Rainboom. Of course, every-pony has seen me do one plenty of times since, right guys?”

There was agreement from the lined up cadets.

Lightning Dust shook her head. “I'd heard rumours, but I'm still having trouble believing it's even possible!”

“Heh!” Rainbow Dash gave her a companionable slap on the saddle with a wing-tip. “Tell you what, I'll show you how. I've always wanted to try it with another pony, and I think you've got the power to pull it off. You just need training. I've asked this lot, but...”

“None of us are that nuts!” Thunderlane finished with a chuckle.

The rainbow maned pegasus' eyes suddenly widened. “Oh yeah, I got a letter from Pinkie. She's so happy to hear how well we're doing that she and the girls are bringing us a care package.”

That whoops of appreciation from the other Ponyville ponies. They all knew how great Pinkie's parties were. Knowing how nuts Pinkie had gotten the first time, Rainbow generally made sure to send regular updates on her progress, even when they were all Awake and otherwise pretty much following a base-line loop. However, that didn't stop Pinkie being Pinkie, or finding any excuse to throw a party.

“I figure we'll set up on a cloud outside the Academy this evening after training, as long as we don't break curfew we should be fine. They'll be bringing a lot of food, we can charge up a nimbus and roast some marshmallows, surf some air-currents, play cloud-ball, rock out to some tunes... It's going to be awesome!”

“Whoa there pony!” Lightning Dust exclaimed. “You said these were earth-ponies and unicorns... won't they fall through?”

“Twilight can do a cloud-walking spell easy. Though she might try something more interesting...”

There. If one of her friends wanted to go alicorn for the night, she could pass it off as an improved Wings spell Twilight had created.

“It sounds great, Am I invited?” Lightning asked, not brashly as she might one have, but hopefully. She'd never realised how good it was to be part of a group, or that you could do it without giving up being you. Despite yesterday, she was still feeling her way into her new relationship with these ponies, and didn't want to wreck it.

“Heck yeah!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Right guys?”

Wildflower spoke up. “If she hadn't helped me recover in that formation exercise, I'd have spun out and wrecked the whole thing. I never got to thank you for that, Lightning. So thanks, and we'd love to have you.”

“You're as nuts as she is!” Thunderlane added without heat. “So maybe with you on our side, a cloud-ball team will have a chance against Dash. So sure, the more the merrier!”

As the others gave their approval, Rainbow saw Spitfire approaching out of the corner of her eye, and gave the others the high sign. By the time the instructors got there, the cadets were lined up at attention and silent.

“Today is a competitive exercise. You will be working in your wing-pairs to clear the clouds.” Spitfire looked over the group and was pleased to see that much of the tension she'd seen before had dissipated, though a couple of the other cadets glanced at Rainbow Dash and suppressed smirks when the nature of the exercise was stated. “Any questions?”

Whatever else was going on, there were none so she signalled to Whiplash to blow the whistle and start the exercise. The other cadets flew up in staggered pairs and started punching out clouds in a methodical manner, trading off the lead as each hit a cloud and demolished it, hitting their weak spots. However, they didn't have chance to get far.

“Okay, let's go!” Lightning Dust yelled out, blasting through the first cloud she saw without stopping.

“Way ahead of you!” Rainbow Dash called from up ahead as she flew between two close together clouds and used an aileron roll to create a temporary vortex that drew them in and mashed them to pieces. “The trick is to keep it small and tight, bigger is not better, just harder to control.”

The two went through the air like greased lightning, indeed Lightning Dust's contrail heightened the likeness. As they approached having cleared three quarters of the sky, Dash started to slow down.

“Hey, you getting tired?” Lightning Dust called out as she came alongside.

Rainbow Dash gave back a cocky grin . “As if! No, I just figured we could let the rest of the guys have some too.”

“This is a competition!” Lightning Dust replied, frowning, and slicing a cloud apart en-passant with a wing-tip and a burst of weather magic.

“You don't think we've won?” Rainbow Dash asked, veering to point a hoof back at the vast swathe of clear sky.

Lightning Dust gave a tight shake of her head. “No, but I want to finish this properly. I don't want to say I did less than my best. Even if it costs me that invite.”

“If it does, it won't be from me. None of them are sore losers, and you're the lead-pony in this formation, so let's go!”

They blew away the majority of the remaining clouds in moments, and came in to land ahead of the other teams. The target area far over the Academy had been much larger than the valley of Ponyville, but it had only taken them a couple of minutes total.

As the other pairs flew down to land around her, Lightning Dust looked around. No-pony seemed particularly annoyed that they'd been utterly out classed.

“It was a competition. I wasn't going to hold back, okay?” she exclaimed defensively.

Vast amounts of spontaneous rage failed to materialise, and Lightning Dust looked relieved. “So no-pony's mad?”

“Pfft! Like any-body stood a chance against Miss 'Clear a sky in ten seconds flat' over there even by herself.” Cloudchaser replied.

Milky Way added. “No-pony's going to buck lightning over some-pony winning fair and square. Or if they are, they're idiots.”

“Thanks... Wait? Ten seconds?” The green pegasus turned to Dash. “You were holding back?”

“I was sticking with my lead pony.” Dash shrugged. “And Ponyville's in a valley. Smaller sky area.”

Whiplash had only just finished adding checks to the chalkboard, as they'd actually destroyed the clouds faster than he'd been able to mark it off. He turned to go to fetch Spitfire with a somewhat sandbagged expression, when a half scale glowing white alicorn alighted by Rainbow Dash. It had a slight haziness moved rather like solid smoke.

It spoke in Twilight's voice. “Rainbow Dash! We've got a problem! We were skirting the edge of the Everfree Forest on the way to the Academy and we picked up an unwanted stalker. It's a massive cloud but it's acting like a creature. It's chasing us and with the balloon so heavily loaded, it's all we can do to stay ahead of it. We need help!”

An image projected from its horn of a towering cumulonimbus, but with black triangular holes as eyes and a gaping maw with continuous arcs of lightning forming the outline of jagged teeth. Great tornadoes of streaming cloud formed arms that left trails behind them, sucking any in any cloud that got too close. The image wavered for a moment, then vanished, as did the alicorn.

“Oh pony-feathers!” Dash exclaimed, “I read about them in the old weather-pony logs for Ponyville, but I thought they were just an old pony tale made up by some-pony who'd had one too many mugs of Granny Smith's special reserve!”

Inwardly she was given furiously to think. Had Twilight set this up as some sort of alternative test of character? It was probably clear from Dash's last letter that she'd pretty much derailed the regular plot. She was certainly holding back, as any of the ponies in that balloon could probably have taken it out. But Twilight wasn't the sort to drop something on any-pony unannounced, and Dash had read about such things in the old weather-pony logs, and it was an Ursa Major threat level for any-pony who wasn't an immortal alicorn.

“What the hey was that!” Lightning Dust gasped, and she wasn't the only one.

“The silver thing? A communication spell Twilight's been working on. The cloud? A Tempest, right out of the Everfree forest. Remember, clouds move by themselves over there, and the place is lousy with magic. No-pony knows how they form, but it's similar to a Timberwolf, a vicious predator that feeds on magical energy...”

She turned to the stunned Whiplash and yelled. “Go get Spitfire, scramble every-pony you can and head after us! Head south southeast. We'll need all the help we can get!”

As he galloped off, the other cadets were looking equally surprised. Cloudchaser shook her head. “I can't believe they're real... Wait, did you mean...”

“We're the only ponies on the runway, they'll need time to get organised and Twilight and the others may not have that long... I know it's not what you signed up for, but some-pony has to delay it and get the balloon clear. And I know you're the ponies for the job!”

The other Ponyville ponies looked back and forth, and you could see their expressions firm up along with their resolve and their wings.

She turned to Lightning Dust. “We have to go, they're in danger and they need our help.”

Lightning Dust gulped. That thing was horrifying, every pegasus' worst nightmare, but she was a Lead pony, and she couldn't let the others go and hide here, not and look at herself in the mirror in the morning. “Okay, but you're going to tell us everything you know about this creature on the way.”

She dusted off, and the others followed her, or more probably Dash, who filled them in on what little was known. These things made Timberwolves look bright, but they were still dangerous as they would attack whatever attracted their attention. A large mass of ponies could drive them back with their combined weather magic, but it would take all the pegasi in Ponyville to do the job.

It was crazy, Rainbow Dash clearly knew the thing and all the other ponies followed her, but she was acting as if she expected Lightning Dust to give the orders. Yes, as Lead pony of the highest scoring wing-pair, she was effectively the leader of the group, but she was beginning to realise as never before the difference between authority and leadership.

She panicked for just a second, but something in her realised that if she lost it now, she'd never get it back, so she forced herself to think. What has Dash said about leadership?... Okay.

“Ideas any-pony? As Dash said, we need to get the balloon clear and keep the thing contained until every-pony else gets there.”

Cloudchaser piped up. “Snowflake and I can tow the balloon. We're not the fastest flyers, but he's one of the strongest.“

“Yeah!” Snowflake agreed.

“We could play cloud-tag with it, take turns to distract it and keep it changing which way it's going.” Milky Way mused.

“That works!” Lightning Dust said. “Dash?”

“If we go in at different heights, that should mix it up even more. Those twister arms can't change height or direction too fast.”

Lightning Dust nodded. “We'll take the middle as we'll be doing the most dodging.”

Wildflower looked at Milky Way. “Up high?”

He nodded and Thunderlane said, “I guess that leaves us the low ponies on the totem pole, eh Raindrops?”

They started to see the trouble ahead, the balloon was floating towards them, towed by Fluttershy and aided by the glow of Twilight's and Rarity's horns. Pinkie Pie was in the crow's nest on top of the balloon, and was clearly trying to drive it off with blasts from Pinkie's party canon while Applejack was managing Fluttershy's rope.

Dash knew all of them were awake, though they'd been staying low profile this loop to relax. So they could have handled this thing like small change, but they'd clearly decided to leave it to Dash and her team. Dash worried for a moment, could her fellow pegasi handle it? Then she looked around at her flight group, and Lightning Dust... or rather her group, full stop. They were scared, and unlike Rainbow Dash they had reason to be, but they were also determined and ready to face that thing, take the risk and she couldn't take that away from them.

Snowflake and Cloudchaser peeled off the formation as they passed, flying round to come up either side of Fluttershy. They quickly got their own ropes courtesy of Applejack, and the balloon finally started to pull away.

The other three wing-pairs dove in towards the cloud monster itself , splitting off to take their assigned heights. As they'd agreed on the way in Lightning Dust and Dash went first, pulling down their goggles as they went into attack formation.

Dash swept in close and zipped back and forth. “Hey you, Puff the magic cloud! Your momma was a sub-tropical convection cell! I've seen scarier clouds when I breath out on a cold morning! C'mon you Nimrod Nimbus, come and get me!”

While it clearly didn't understand the insults, the cloud monster was clearly tracking her with its 'eyes'. It roared like a storm wind blowing through the trees and a vast funnel arm swung towards her as it veered away from following the balloon to chase her. She could have out ranged it easily, but that wasn't the idea. Instead she actually flew in closer to make sure its attention focussed on her. The cloud's tornado 'arms' flailed after her.

“Dash, let's tie it up!” Lightning Dust called as she dived in. “Yo, fog-face! You couldn't hit the ground with a rain storm! Yeah Lightning Lips, I'm talking about you! C'mon you third-rate thunderhead, start something!”

The cloud reached after her and she let the edge of one tornado tug at her tail, but she broke free and drew it after her as Dash did the same for the other arm. Without actually saying anything, they flew in and around each other, and as they did the two tornadoes became intertwined, immobilising them.

They swooped out of the tangle as a pair, whooping and laughing. “Oh yeah, we have wings, we have the talent... whoa!”

Dash's bad-ass boast was interrupted as she bucked Lightning Dust away from her, a fraction of a second before a bolt of lightning about half the width and twice the length of the Canterlot Express passed through the airspace they'd just occupied, and just barely failed to turn them both into Southern Fried pegasus nuggets.

“I didn't know it could do that!” she exclaimed. “We can't let the others get hit! They'll have to back off.”

Lightning Dust shook her head, as they veered out of the way of another bolt that tracked after them. “No! They'll be harder to hit, but easier to track. They need to stay in tight so it can't focus!”

Dash thought for a split second. “Good call!”

She amped up her voice using weather magic to modulate the air and yelled, “Keep close and keep dodging! Don't let it home in on you!”

As they weaved around clouds in extreme evasion manoeuvres, they saw its arms were untangling. Dash growled. She was this close to opening a storm of alicorn style flank-whooping on the thing, but that would wreck all the work she'd done, and there was a better way. “Uh oh! If they try and bust that cloud the regular way, ponies are going to get hurt!”

“So you have an irregular way?”

“What do you say to a double Sonic Rainboom delivered right to the heart of that thing from above?”

“Most people would say you've swallowed too much cloud and it's fogging your brain...” Lightning Dust exclaimed then gave a little growl. “... but I guess they were right. I am just as nuts as you. Of course you haven't taught me how to do a Sonic Rainboom. “

“No time like the present! Come on!” Dash suddenly went into a vertical ascent, calling out to the others as they flew past, “Just keep it off balance for a few more seconds, then scatter when we hit it!”

“We'll need some altitude!” Dash pushed some real power into her wings, giving them a slight rainbow aura, and shot upwards as if someone had just repealed the law of gravity. Lightning Dust panted to keep up with her, and just barely managed it. They came to a stop far above the scene of the battle, with the cloud a tiny puffy shape below, harried by the specks of circling pegasi.

“Whoa! You can go that fast in an ascent?” Lightning Dust gasped for air until she felt Dash's weather magic wash over her and the air thicken around her.

“Wait until you see what's next!” Dash grinned. “Besides you matched me.”

She held out her fore-hooves. Place yours against mine, then we dive and stay together. Focus any weather magic you can spare from speeding up to forming a shield in front of you. You should be able to feel what I'm doing, just match it, okay?”

Lightning Dust gave a curt nod, and touched fore-hooves to Dash's. “Let's do this!”

They inverted in mid-air, still in contact, and started to dive, matching wing-beats. They quickly went past their ascent speed and kept accelerating at a rate even Lightning Dusts hadn't thought she could manage. Any pegasus worth their pinion feathers had a go at seeing how fast they could go in a power-dive at least once in their lives, but this was pushing limits she hadn't even realised she had. On top of that, she was trying to balance the power she put into accelerating with the weather magic she was feeding into the shock wave that started to form in front of them.

Her hooves started to peel away from Dash's as she started to exhaust herself, and she cried, “I can't hold it...”

“You can!” Dash called back, “I know you can do this, and every-pony's We're relying on you! Remember, the bigger the challenge... ”

Lightning gritted her teeth. “... the better we like it!”

The Wonderbolt mantra flashed through her mind, along with the last time she'd heard it. They were getting near the cloud now, and she could see the other ponies clearly, still playing a deadly game of tag to hold it in place. Other moments flashed through her thoughts, leading them through the obstacle course, the way they'd accepted her once she'd stopped being a jerk. Most of all throughout it was Dash, defending her, supporting her, believing in her; even when she'd done nothing to warrant it...

It reached something deep inside her, and she felt it explode outwards, giving her new energy. Dash had put her faith in Lightning Dust, and she was not going to let her friend down. She came back into synch with Dash, and threw that power into her wings and the shockwave, which transformaed into a sharp cone that crackled with energy.

“Yes!” Dash exulted. “On my mark, we buck it over...”

The cadet pegasi dodging around the increasingly frantic cloud monster saw a brilliant column in the sky, equal parts rainbow and lightning as it speared down into the crown of the monster with a glowing arrowhead at its tip. The cloud creature froze for a fraction of a second, and the triangular slits of its eyes suddenly turned into almost comical circles. The four of them took the chance to dive outwards and set their wings to ride the wave they knew was coming.

The rainbow halo, shot with lightning and gold, exploded outwards just above the thing's mouth, slicing it in two and disrupting the magical forces that held it together. It scattered the pegasi like windblown leaves, but they'd been ready for it, and it didn't hurt them. They could only hope the same was true for the two pegasi who'd been at the centre of it.

Thunderlane and Raindrops were carried in the direction of the Academy, and thus were the first ones to meet up with the relief force. Twilight's balloon was there, surrounded by wings of Wonderbolts, flying in staggered echelons. They had to have assembled every-pony in the place, cadets and instructors, and some of the pegasi at the back were harnessed in teams, towing lightning and storm projectors from the obstacle course.

They headed for the apex of the lead chevron, where Spitfire, still in her mess dress uniform had point. They were quickly joined by Snowflake and Cloudchaser, who'd been flying escort to the balloon. Spitfire saw them immediately. She waved off the salute they gave.

“Cadet, report! Was that a Sonic Rainboom?”

Thunderlane was the pony she addressed. “Yea ma'am! Rainbow dash and Lightning Dust hit the thing together and destroyed it.”

Spitfire nodded. “I saw the light trail and the explosion from here. What about them, and your other wing pair?”

“Wildflower and Milky Way rode the wave the way we did, but they were around to the side. They must be half way to Ponyville by now. As for Dash and Dust... I couldn't see what happened, no-pony could.”

Spitfire looked past him to where the cloud monster had disintegrated, and for the first time, he realised he could see worry in her eyes. He understood why, the energies at the heart of that cloud would have been enough to tear almost any pegasus to shreds if they placed a wing wrong. “Let's hope they're as capable as they seem to think they are...”

Cloudchaser piped up. “They're tough! They'll be okay...”

her eyes suddenly widened as she suddenly realised how familiar she was being. “...Ma'am! Sorry, ma'am!”

Spitfire just shook her head. “It's okay cadet, I can understand you're a little out of it. You did good, all of you. But for now, we have other things to worry about. We need to set up search parties...”

“No we don't!” A new voice had spoken. Pinkie Pie arrived, held up by a bunch of party balloons tied around her middle and propelling herself by spinning her candy-floss tail like a propeller. She pointed in the direction of the cloud, where two dots had just become visible. They flew towards the massed pegasi, and resolved themselves into Lightning Dust and Rainbow Dash.

Both of them were flying relatively slowly, and both of them looked as if they'd been dragged through a thunderstorm backwards (which they had, pretty much) but both of them were flying straight and level, and both had big, if tired grins on their faces. They flew up to Spitfire as the other cadets parted for them, and Lightning Dust snapped off a salute.

“Cadets Lightning Dust and Rainbow Dash reporting completion of cloud clearing duty, ma'am!”

Snowflake started what happened next, clapping his fore-hooves together slowly and deliberately. The other cadets took up the clapping, and then some of the other pegasi. The clapping swelled, speeding up as ponies started to cheer, while Pinkie puttered over and glomped Dash like a rainbow flavoured toothpaste tube.

Spitfire spoke over the applause. “I'll debrief the two of you in my office afterwards, but first, I think both of you need to rest. Let's get you back to the Academy... all of you.”

She detailed a party of fresh pegasi to go find Wildflower and Milky Way, then formed up the remainder of the Academy to escort the cadets and Twilight's balloon back to the airfield.


27.9 (misterq, 26.10 continued)


It was early morning at Hogwarts where a young pink bushy-headed girl sat on her bed, playfully swinging her legs. It was a very rare moment where Pinkie Pie was feeling a bit introspective. She had spent a few loops, ones that had her start out back at her parents' rock farm, trying to act like a normal pony. One that was cheerful and liked birthdays, but didn't celebrate at every opportunity. One that didn't bounce around everywhere or eat vast amounts of sugar. One that knew about commonly accepted social graces and personal space, unlike someone who had grown up with her only friends being inanimate objects.

She had even pranked her looping friends in one iteration by acting like a completely normal pony for a whole month.

But in the end, she decided that she liked being Pinkie. She got a warm ticklish feeling whenever the others said 'It's just Pinkie being Pinkie'. She liked throwing parties and eating horrifying amounts of sugary sweets and pretending not to know what was socially acceptable and what wasn't. Whenever she did something that was inexplicably impossible, she brought a bit of wonder and joy into her friends' lives.

It wasn't as easy doing that as when she was a chaos goddess. That loop left a lasting impression on her magic, but that seemed to be it. After all, it wasn't like she now had a galaxy full of super happy space elves worshiping her.

'Yet,' giggled a little voice inside of her.

'No,' Pinkie laughed at her own subconscious, 'and no going magical alicorn demi-goddess on this world, because that will end all the fun. And I'm having way too much of it for it to end so soon.'

Pinkie Pie bounced out of her bed and grabbed her wand, "Letters to send, potions ingredients to procure, cakes to bake with the castle house elves, Pinkie Promise Breakers to... talk to. This day is going to be so FUN!"


Twilight tentatively opened another of her overseas friend's letters and read out loud to the remainder of her gathered friends, "Hi everyone! It's a letter from me, Pinkie Pie, again! How are you all doing? I'm am fantasti-mazing as always. So many things happened I don't know where to start, so I'll just guess."

"After our old defence teacher left in such a hurry, a new one was hired. His name is Gilderoy Lockhart, and I had him Pinkie Promise that he would be a good teacher unlike the last one. He promptly broke it in his first class when he explained how he stole the memories of the people who actually did all the heroic stuff he said he did himself; and that he wasn't even that good at defence spells or care about teaching well; or that that shade of blonde was not his natural hair colour!"

"How scandalous," Rairty exclaimed, causing her friends to give her a brief glance before going back to the letter.

"Also in unrelated news, it's possible to mix a magical truth serum with a secret babbling potion and turn them both into an aerosol mist. Who knew? Anyways, I was about to talk to him to let him know how disappointed I was that he broke a Pinkie Promise, but he somehow got a bit of (okay, a lot of) fear potion and spider pheromones all over him, and ran off screaming into the super spooky forbidden forest. They looked for him for a while, but no sign yet. I think as long as he knows some defence spells, he should be fine."

Rainbow Dash slowly turned towards Applejack and said, "You got off easy, AJ. That one time you almost broke a Pinkie Promise could have ended with you as bride of the spider people."

Applejack just shuddered and said, "Just keep reading, Twilight."

Twilight complied, "Our history professor was a boring ghost, but I laughed at him and, you guessed it, I got detention. Then, next class, I did an exorcism ritual I made up and the other professors had to come and close the howling portal to the screaming netherworld that somehow opened up right as I was finishing up. I knew I should have had an old priest and a young priest, but I thought that ordaining my friends, Harry and Neville, should have worked fine; at least unless either of them had some previous unknown exposure to death magic or death magic related artifacts and accessories. But what was the chances of that?"

"In the end, Binns, our old history ghost is now history. Get it? Because he was sucked into a horrible vortex. To replace him, the ministry of magic sent this large woman who likes kittens and pink sweaters so very much. We're going to be such good friends, I just know it!"

"My detention wasn't so bad. I had to clean a school bathroom. I guess I cleaned it too well, because one moment I was rubbing this neat little snake carving; and the other moment, I was sliding down a super duper fun slide. Then I met my new friend, who I decided to call 'Big Blinky', or BB for short. Some would say that Big Blinky is a giant snake, but that's not true at all. BB is a basilisk and as such has a hinged jaw and eyelids, so that means BB is a legless lizard. With eye beams. I spent the rest of the night riding around the spooky forest on BB's back, hunting spiders while yelling out, 'Maud'dib!' Best detention ever!"

"In conclusion, the end. Just kidding! I'm sure more fun stuff is coming. As always, I'll let you know when a good time to visit. With lots of parties, Pinkie Pie."


27.10 (masterweaver)


"Jack. Sparrow."

The stallion turned around. "Twilight Spoirkle! Fancy seeing you on this fancy ship. Fancy, innit?"

The unicorn raised an eyebrow. "Yes. It's very fancy."

"Flying ships, I said. Flying ships. You know, that's very clever, I'm going to have to figure out this one."

"Do you know who this ship belongs to?" Twilight continued calmly.

"Hold up. Let me ask the crew. NAVIGATOR!"

A blonde pegasus saluted, swaying slightly. "Yes Captain?"

"Who does this ship belong to?"

"That'd be you, captain!"

Jack smiled, turning back to Twilight. "So, apparently, this is my ship."

The bearer of magic sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Cloudkicker, why are you helping him steal this ship?"

"Steal?" The violet pegasus fluttered over. "This. This isn't stealing. This ship is his, fair and square."

"THIS IS PRINCE BLUEBLOOD'S PERSONAL YACHT!"

"Was," Jack said calmly. "Right up till he gave me the deed, see, I've got a contract." He rustled at his pockets, muttering something about fingers before he finally pulled out a scroll. "Signature, legal mumbo jumbo, aaaaand... ah, seal of office. Which is his tattoo thing."

"Cutie mark," Cloudkicker corrected.

"That's what I said."

Twilight groaned. "I'd accuse you of casting some sort of spell if I could figure any of this out--"

"You hear that Berry? You're a witch!"

Berry Punch stumbled up from below deck. "Really? Want some of my brew?"

"Is it rum?"

"MOSTLY rum!"

"Bring it on up witch!"

The purple mare cackled as she descended again.

"We totally need to have a threesome with her," Cloudkicker commented.

"I agree. Twilight, care to join us?"

The unicorn let out a tortured groan. "Why are you being so... so childish?!"

Jack tilted his head. "I take it, that's a no."

"HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!"

The pirate shrugged. "Funny story, really..."


Blueblood moaned as the light assaulted his eyes. "Ugh. That is the last time I ever drink... any. Any peasant drink. What was it called, Room or something?" He blinked and shook his head. "I should have it outlawed...."

He blinked again.

He blinked a third time.

He looked around his room.

His bare, unadorned, not-even-having-any-furniture room.

There was a frantic scramble to find his bed, before he realized it was out on the lawn... alongside every other item in his house.... and a number of auctioneers.


"And that is why I am the grandmaster of liar's dice."

Twilight stared.

She couldn't figure out whether Jack was joking.