//------------------------------// // Camp Gay // Story: Flash Sentry and the Elements of Homosexuality // by Flint Sparks //------------------------------// Shining hummed a catchy tune as he flipped a pancake with his pink magic on the Apple stove. He had slept well in the comfort of the barn with the others, the night being warm in close vicinity with the boys. The royal stallion decided to get a headstart and make breakfast for the host family before everypony woke up. The smell of syrup and apples drifted out of the kitchen, attracting the attention of sleepy ponies crawling out of bed. First up was Applejack, who promptly sat at the table and waited patiently for food. Her tangerine coat was clean and sleek, her mane was shining and brushed to perfection. A smile was pasted to her face as she stared into space, sighing occasionally. “Whoa Applejack, you’re glowing today,” Shining commented as he began the final touchups on an apple crepe. Being married to the alicorn of love had its benefits: house husband training being one of many. The sweet scent of crepe drew the mare out from her blissful daydream. “Ah had a wonderful night’s sleep, Shinin’.” Applejack gave a dreamy smile as she held her cheeks in her hooves. “What else can Ah say?” Shining returned the smile as her sibling returned from the barn. Big Mac glanced at Shining’s handiwork and decided no help was needed, instead taking a seat next to his sister. He noticed her misty eyes and chose not to comment. A straw of hay hung out his mouth as he chewed it. If Shining recalled correctly, Flash had chosen to spend the night in his embrace to avoid unwanted advances from Braeburn. Even homosexuals had standards. “Oi, where’s your cousin?” Shining asked as he leaned back for a difficult pancake flip. Big Mac huffed. “Appleloosa. Somethin’ ‘bout business.” “Huh,” Shining muttered to himself. “Would’ve thought he’d at least stay for breakfast. Any word on Flash getting up soon?” “Eeyup. Went ta powder himself up.” Shining stifled a laugh. The young colt was learning pretty fast, perhaps a little too fast. Speaking of fast… Shining had plans for him today. “Of course. What else is a gay pony going to say?” “Haaaaayyyyyyyyyy,” a new flamboyant voice called from behind. Shining, not recognizing the intruder, whipped around and charged his horn. The sight before him dispelled his magic and sent it to his other horn. On the doorway to the kitchen leaned Flash Sentry onto his wings, his signature green dress and pink socks hugging his toned body, his mane dampened and restyled to appear more feminine. For a moment Shining thought Rarity had brainwashed Rainbow Dash and replaced Flash. Applejack gave an encouraging catcall as Flash sensually slid down the door frame onto his hooves. “Whoa,” Shining complimented as he gave a small clap. “I give that a solid eight out of ten. I think you’re ready for the next lesson.” Flash purred as he strutted by, whacking Shining in the face with his electric blue tail as he grabbed the pancake pan with his mouth. Shining followed the younger pegasus as they set the table and served everypony waiting. Apple Bloom arrived just in time for the crepes. Breakfast was fantastic and each pony showed their appreciation in their eyes as they chewed. Shining was the epitome of husband domestication and nopony could deny it. Everypony helped clean up the plates afterward, and the Apples gladly taught Flash proper dishwashing techniques. He was beginning to model the proper way of the homosexual. Now the two Crystal Empire residents stood in front of the door, preparing to leave for the next lesson. Flash gave Big Mac a hug as a goodbye, prompting the older stallion to leave a peck on his forehead. Shining rolled his eyes. Flash was more smitten than a baby dragon for a pony with a diamond cutie mark. Huh. Wait a minute… His train of thought was derailed by an abrupt knocking on the door. Shining cleared his throat and turned to his former guard. “Flash, you’re familiar with pegasus culture, correct?” Flash stretched his wings out from his dress. “Well, yeah. I mean, these didn’t exactly come with the uniform…” “Good. I wasn’t sure if you were that sheltered or not. You look like a momma’s boy for all I know. Whatever you do: Do. Not. Freak. Out. Do I make myself clear?” A nod and a salute was all the prince needed before he opened the door. “Squee!!” Flash squealed as his wings shot out and he fainted in shock. Drool flowed out of his maw along with a few snores. A light blue pegasus with a severely wind-blown mane poked the unconscious pony with a bemused expression. “Really Shining? Did he just squee?” Shining gave a jolly laugh. “Nope, he just said ‘squee.’ Poor boy doesn’t know how to squeal like a proper fangirl yet.” “Ah.” Soarin nodded. “He didn’t know I was coming to teach him?” Shining shrugged. “I’m a prince. He should’ve known I have these connections.” Soarin sighed, his wings slowly rising. “I’ll get the cloud.” Cold water drenched his face, awakening Flash Sentry from his blissful slumber. He had dreamt of rainbows and fluttering wings as the Wonderbolt taught him the double rainbow cascade. And by cascade he meant se- “Whoa there little guy. Calm down!” Soarin warned as he held up a hoof to help the pegasus up. Remembering how Big Mac had acted around him, Flash took a few breaths and tried to be more sensitive to the weathered pegasus. His heart rate eventually calmed down enough so he could face every pegasus’ hero. Flash took the offered hoof and stood up. Looking around, he realized he was on a cloud above Ponyville. Something inside him wondered why he hadn’t noticed that in the first place. “Sorry about that. Just a little fangasm, ya know?” Flash smiled. Soarin couldn’t help but buster a laugh. “Fangasm? Nice one! You know, most colts and fillies just stand there and drool.” Soarin emulated his fans’ behavior, waving his hooves and rolling his eyes for effect. Flash giggled. “You know what kid, I think you’re one of a kind! Just like that girl, Rainbow Dash.” “SOARIN?!” cried the voice of a young mare. The two stallions jerked their heads to see a hovering, and somewhat deranged, mare flying just before them. Flash recognized her from the castle: rainbow tail and mane with a cyan coat. The one and only Rainbow Dash. “Buck,” Soarin cursed under his breath. He used his hooves to turn Flash back to him. “Quick lesson sonny, or else we’ll never get alone time. Got it?” Flash frantically nodded, internally screaming in fear for his homosexuality from the attractive mare. Soarin smiled and brought their muzzles together. The effect was immediate. Rainbow Dash gave off a screech that resembled a dying pterodactyl and dropped from the sky. With a small pomf, the unconscious fangirl landed on a cloud. She wouldn’t see daylight for a good three hours with the spike in blood pressure. Her wings sprung from her sides, blood rushing to them even in her sleep. Flash had a similar reaction as his wings popped out. He had never kissed a pony outside his family before. Of course, like any other pony, he kissed his mother as a colt. And his father. And his aunt. And sister. And second cousin. The Ass as well. Okay, perhaps he had more experience than he gave himself credit for. His thoughts turned off as he leaned forward and accepted the kiss. The immediate sensation was moisture. Everything about the kiss was wet, most likely thanks to the cloud. It certainly was making Flash and his dress moist. Flash moaned as Soarin deepened his hold onto the younger pegasus, coaxing his mouth open and slipping his tongue into Flash’s mouth. Flash’s wings shuddered as their tongues intertwined. Taking the initiative, Flash slipped a hoof between Soarin’s wing joints and pulled the stallion closer. The two began exploring each other as their hooves traveled everywhere in reach. Their speed picked up until Soarin leaned over, causing Flash to fall backwards onto the cloud. Flash felt a hoof slip under his skirt. The make-out session lasted quite a few minutes before the two pegasi pulled away from each other, panting. Soarin wiped his brow and grinned. “You got some guts, kid!” Soarin peaked over Flash’s shoulder toward the ground. It was then Flash noticed his wings had been beating the entire time. Flash followed his gaze toward the ground and saw a small clearing in the forest underneath them. “Um, are we going somewhere?” he asked, scratching his groomed mane. “Yup! We’re going camping!” “First thing’s first, whip out your stick.” Flash obeyed, whipping out his stick from under his dress. He kicked out his forelegs as Soarin kneeled in front of him. Licking his lips in concentration, the Wonderbolt leaned forward and gingerly took the stick in both hooves. He moved his hooves up and down, slowly as to not hurt it. “You don’t want to be rough at first, otherwise you’ll hurt yourself.” Flash relaxed as his camping partner took charge. Soarin intensified his movements, then abruptly slowed down to a crawl. Flash couldn’t help but coo at the mastery of it all. Soarin eyed his work with a gleam in his eyes as he began to finish it off. “When you think you’re about done, you ought to take it in your mouth and suck it,” Soarin suggested as he placed a hoof on Flash’s knee while holding the stick in the other. Flash shuddered at the physical contact. He was never going anywhere without his dress again! With that suggestion in mind, a question came to him. “Why? Can’t you just use your hooves to finish?” Flash asked as the Wonderbolt cocked an eye at him. Soarin shrugged. “I suppose you could, but it’s better this way. It just feels right, trust me.” With that said, Soarin leaned forward and opened his mouth, taking the stick. His teeth nibbled on it, his tongue licking every inch of it. Flash watched the show in awe, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips.. Once he finished, Soarin stood up on all fours with the stick in his mouth. “And that’s how you whittle a stick with your bare hooves!” Soarin announced as he turned his head and spat the wooden stick onto the fireplace where they were gathering kindle. He would use it later to start the fire, but nightfall was a ways away. Flash applauded, giving a whoop as he did so. “That was awesome!” Flash exclaimed. “So can I grab some of your nuts now?” Soarin nodded and tossed the jar of peanuts to Flash. Soarin grabbed a banana he had brought with him and slowly peeled it. He made eye contact with the other pegasus as he slowly ate it. “Twilight! Twilight!” A rainbow blur cried as it dashed into the library, interrupting Twilight’s concentration. The alicorn rolled her eyes and put down her journal, sliding it under the table. “Yes Rainbow Dash? What is it?” she asked, still somewhat glum over yesterday’s rejection. Rainbow Dash jumped to the table and reached for Twilight’s journal. Twilight pushed to stop her, but the scuffle led to a tug-o-war between the two frantic mares. “Yes!” Rainbow Dash rolled backwards, holding the journal. Twilight shakingly stood back on her hooves as Rainbow Dash took a pen in her mouth and began erasing and writing words. “What are you doing?!” Twilight screamed, frantic to take back her property. “What are you doing to my Celestia fanfiction!” Rainbow Dash scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Pft, you are such an egghead. Everypony knows that self-inserts are laaaaaaame!” “No they’re not!” Twilight screamed, her wings outstretched in anger. “They’re the most accurate depiction of writer’s imagination through use of an avatar!” “Pleaseee.” Rainbow Dash scribbled a few more words before flipping to a new page. “Ahem. It was then the solar princess lay her angelic wings on the bedsheet of her divine shade, bare and awaiting my entrance as I lowered my-” “Okay that’s enough!” Twilight interrupted as she used magic to snatch her journal back. She hugged it against herself, her eyes dampening. “What do you want?” “I just had the best idea ever!” Rainbow Dash dashed to her friend and grabbed her shoulders. “The only thing better than lesbian fiction… is slash fiction!” “What? Rainbow, that’s the same thing!” Twilight hissed. Rainbow Dash scrunched her lips in realization. “Oh yeah. I meant dudes, Twilight! We can ship dudes!” Twilight’s eyes widened. “W-why… WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?!” The two mares squealed and promptly got to work, spending the whole night writing. Well, Twilight did. Rainbow Dash just took all the credit.