CRACKS BENEATH THE SURFACE
“Hi Twilight! Hold up,” I call down to the mare walking through the street below me. I whisper a couple quick instructions to my double. She snickers and nods, then I drop down.
“Hello, Cloud Kicker,” she replies in a flat voice. I know she isn’t exactly my biggest fan, and she doesn’t love being teased, but certain opportunities are too good to pass up. She glances past me towards the library a little further down the street.
“I heard the news. I just wanted to say, thank you.”
“Huh?” she asks. Seems she was expecting me to say something else.
“I heard all about what you did in Canterlot, with the changelings and everything. I have family in the guard, and if it weren’t for you some of them would be dead right now. Plus from what I heard about the time loops, you must have gone through a lot. You’re a hero, Twilight. So I wanted to say...” I give her my very best, practiced salute, “...thank you.”
She actually grins a little at that. “You’re welcome.”
“Well I know it’s getting a little bit late and you must be eager to get home and unpack. I won’t keep you.” I give her an appreciative hoof bump and let her turn and begin to walk away. When she isn’t looking I wink up at the cloud where my partner in crime is hiding, then call out after her. “Hey Twilight?”
She turns. “Yeah, Cloud Kicker?”
“Do you think we’ll be banging later this week, or not until next week? I know how far in advance you like to schedule things.”
She groans, and pulls out a baseball bat of all things from her luggage. “Just because I like mares doesn’t mean I’m desperate. I have a baseball bat and I know how to use it.”
She should really know better than to give me a setup like that. “I know a lot of ways to use a baseball bat too, and I bet that my ways are a lot more fun than yours.” Her face goes red, and she’s too flustered to complain as I trot over to her and wrap a foreleg around her. “Think about it, Twilight, who knows more about hitting on the mares in this town? Think about how much you’d learn if you let me take you under my wing? Or take you in any other sense of the word? I thought you liked learning. I could name four, no, five mares who would roll over for you in a heartbeat, once you learn how to ask.”
“Not interested.”
I hear somepony land behind us, right on cue. “At least let me tell you the best part before you say no.”
“Oh, hey Twilight,” comes my voice from behind us. Twilight turns her head back towards the voice.
“Oh, hey Cloud Kicker,” she says. I can barely contain my glee as she turns back to me and almost starts to say something before her eyes go wide and she freezes.
“Oh, Celestia. There are two of you now,” she says when she recovers enough to speak.
“Isn’t it great?” I ask her as I squeeze her a little tighter. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised a changeling would borrow the shape of the most lovable pony in town. And then when you did your thing with the Elements, well...” I watch Twilight try to form words, but no sounds emerge from her mouth. “So you see? We both really owe you big. There was this really impossible decision I’ve been trying to make for months that just got way easier. Oh, and tell me to go buck myself. I have an amazing retort for that now.”
She screams and bolts for the library, opening the door with magic and not stopping until she’s inside and it’s slammed shut behind her.
Cloud Kicker walks over to where I’m standing. “That was fun,” she says, “but what was it you meant about a really impossible decision you’ve been trying to make for months?”
Oh, right, I guess I figured that out after our memories diverged. “I’d been thinking about dyeing my mane, but seeing you with green hair convinced me it would be a bad idea.”
“That’s it?” she asks skeptically, “You made it sound like it was some massive, life altering choice you were trying to figure out. One where you stood to gain or lose everything depending on what you picked.”
“Nope. Just the color of my mane.”
“Drama queen,” she says, giving me a friendly nudge in my side.
Before I can come up with an appropriately stinging retort, a voice from above interrupts me. “Cloud Kicker!” We both look up and see a very upset Blossomforth descending towards us. I look over to Cloud and she shrugs. Odd, I thought Blossom would have been mostly okay with this. She lands and glares daggers at both of us. “Which one of you used to be the changeling?”
Cloud slowly raises her hoof. Blossom marches towards us. “Blossom, wait. She’s a pony now, just like me. Didn’t you read the paper? Please try not to be angry at her.”
She gets to us, and then reaches out and whacks the back of my head. Cloud’s uncertainty changes to a smile as she realizes she isn’t the target for once. “I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at you! You should have told me first! I had to find out about it from Cloudchaser?”
“Ow! I was going to- Ow! I was going to tell you but our shifts haven’t- Ow! Our shifts haven’t overlapped for the last couple of days. But you’re- Ow, seriously, quit that. You’re okay with it?”
In response, she turns towards Cloud and wraps her up in a big hug. “A second copy of my best friend? Of course I’m fine with it. Welcome to Ponyville, sweetie, I’m Blossomforth. But I guess you already know that.”
Cloud looks to be on the verge of tears. “Thank you, Blossom. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much having you on my side means to me.”
“Of course I do. You think I don’t know how helpless Cloud Kicker would be without my help? I’ll never leave either one of you in the lurch, I promise.” She boops her nose against Cloud’s, and somehow her smile grows even wider. “I have to run, but we’re all going to have to sit down for dinner soon. I’ll make my famous casserole, I assume you like all the same foods Cloud Kicker does?”
“I think so. Technically, I’ve only really tasted food for about a week,” says Cloud.
“Good enough. Just stay out of trouble, you two. Not everypony loves the idea of having a former changeling around, and you’re the only one who’s out in the open about it right now.”
“The others will come around, I hope.”
My ears perk up at that. “So there are others?” I ask.
Cloud pauses, but then nods her head. “There were six of us here in Ponyville, including Bon Bon. One of us assigned to monitor each Bearer, roughly. I was supposed to keep an eye on Rainbow Dash, Bon Bon was assigned to Pinkie Pie. Although obviously we shared anything we discovered about any of them with the rest of the swarm.”
That particular revelation makes me stop and think. Who have I talked to over the last few months? Did I reveal anything to the changelings that could have put my family in danger? It isn’t a pleasant idea. At least it all worked out in the end. “See you later, Blossom. We should head home too.”
The two of us do just that, landing in our front yard a few minutes later. What’s waiting for us there isn’t a pleasant sight. Azalea is standing there, gaping, and we turn to see what she’s looking at. Somepony defaced our home, spray painting a crude figure that I think is supposed to be a changeling with a big red ‘X’ through it. The also wrote ‘Changling go back where u came from’ on the front door.
Azalea places a hoof on my back. “I’m sorry, Cloudy. I came by to see if you were home, and I found this.” She turns to Cloud Kicker. “I guess you’re the changeling?”
“Yeah,” she replies cautiously. Her eyes dart between me, Azalea, and the graffiti. Some of it’s still dripping, red and black droplets running down onto our stoop and front lawn. I tense up in case the two mares explode at one another.
Azalea sits there staring at my house for a minute or so before replying. “A lot of ponies out there don’t believe that you’re reformed. Ponies who do things like this. I’m surprised you decided to, y'know, come out as what you are.”
“Didn’t have much of a choice, once Cloud found me,” answers Cloud Kicker, “still, there’s plenty who are fine with what I was. Cloud’s been great.”
“Is that true, Cloud Kicker?” she asks, turning to me. “You’re fine with sharing a house with her?”
I hedge my bets. Azalea told me she hates changelings, after all. She’s taking this remarkably well so far, even if I was hoping to introduce these two under better circumstances. “She’s family.”
“And if she weren’t?”
I shrug. “I can’t say, for sure.”
“I’m sure we’ll both keep an open mind, when... if the others feel that they’re ready,” says Cloud Kicker, jumping in.
Azalea lets out a sad little laugh. “Yeah. That’ll be the day. Wouldn’t hold my breath, if I were you.”
“Hey, come on Azalea. Give them a chance,” I say. I walk up to her, and nuzzle her cheek. “The truth always comes out eventually, right?” She mutters something I can’t hear. “What was that?”
Azalea stiffens, then instead of answering she grabs me and kisses me full on the mouth. “Cloudy, I... I...” she stammers as she pulls away.
“Shh... I understand, Azalea,” I say, and kiss her back harder. My wing traces the curves of her body, and as I run the tip of a feather over her cutie mark she gasps and shoves me away.
“I can’t, Cloudy. I can’t... be with you that way again. Not ever. It’s too much like... too much like...”
“What? Too much like being with a changeling?” I ask, confused and upset. “I don’t mind if you want time, or space, but I never took you for a bigot.”
“Hey, let’s all calm down here,” says Cloud. “Azalea... it’s fine. I completely understand.”
Azalea opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again and turns to fly away. I’m about to go after her, when Cloud Kicker plants a hoof in my back, fairly hard. “Just let her go.”
“After what she just said? For all we know she was the one who vandalized our house!”
“Come on, Cloud. You can’t possibly believe she’d do that.” I sigh. I really don’t. “Look, neither of us know exactly what she’s working through right now. I have a sneaking suspicion she needs us to be her friends now more than ever. I’ll win her over.”
I sigh. “Yeah, fine. Whatever. Let’s just get inside and get this cleaned-” my plan is interrupted by a big yawn. I’m sleepier than I thought.
Cloud Kicker smiles. “It can wait until tomorrow, I think. Come on, it’s been a busy couple of days. Let’s hit the hay.”
I go inside, and a quick shower later I’m ready to crawl under the covers for the night. I lay my head down on the pillow, but after that last fight with Azalea sleep doesn’t seem eager to come. I’ve been tossing and turning for an hour when somepony pushes my door open. “Who’s there?” I ask.
“It’s me,” says Cloud. “Can I stay in here tonight, instead of the guest room?”
I beckon her inside in the dim light. “You can’t sleep either, huh? Sure, hop in.”
There’s a pause, and I feel the mattress deform under her added weight and the extra heat from her body as she curls herself around me. Buck the haters. Actually, that might be a legitimate persuasion tactic. I’ll have to remember that in the morning. But either way I’m not about to turn on Cloud, ever.
Then her hoof jabs me in the back and I reconsider. “Hey, stop kicking.”
“Sorry, just trying to get comfortable.” Everything goes still again.
Another jab, this one hard enough to nearly push me off the bed. “I said quit it!”
“Won’t happen again, my bad,” she says, flipping over so we’re back to back.
“Whatever, kicky,” I mutter.
There’s a brief pause before she sits up. “What did you just call me?”
“Uh, Kicky. Because you kept kicking me. Why?”
“I like it. Azalea calls you ‘Cloudy,’ right? So I could be Kicky. Avoids confusion.”
I consider it. It would help differentiate us, but... “I don’t know, is it really necessary?”
'Kicky' is quiet for a bit, lost in her thoughts. "Cloud," she says at last, "I love you for giving me this second chance, and I like being you. But I'm not you, not exactly. I have all this extra knowledge and these other memories that you don't, and I can't just ignore that. I need to start figuring out for myself what that means."
"You don't want your name and your history to define you."
"I knew you would get it," she says, hugging me tightly.
"Yeah, I do. No matter what you'll always have a place here, though, if you want it."
"Thanks, Cloudy. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Kicky."
---------------------------
The following morning, after breakfast but before I leave for work, there's a loud pounding on the door. Kicky is in the shower, so I open the door myself.
"We need to talk, Cloud Kicker," says Algae Bloom. She looks pissed and tries to push her way inside, but I block her way.
"I don't have anything to say to you, Algae. Why don't you leave now?"
She ignores my suggestion. "Have you been telling ponies I'm a changeling?"
"What? No, why?"
"Your house isn't the only one that got spray painted yesterday. Plus somepony broke one of my windows."
I take another look at her. She's angry, sure, and she's taking it out on me but there's also an edge of desperation there. "So why come to me? Don't have any friends you can talk to instead? I'd be surprised if you did."
"I came over because I saw what they did to your house," she says. A bit of her anger diffuses. "And no, not really. I thought I did, but nopony believes me when I try to tell them I'm not a changeling. I can't believe none of them stuck by me. Your stupid friends don't even care that you have a changeling living with you."
Calling my friends stupid. Yeah, that's a great way to win me over. Still, I stand back and let her inside. "I'll admit, the thought that you might be one crossed my mind. Then I remembered that changelings pretend that they aren't slimy monsters, they don't advertise to the world how nasty they are."
She walks into my living room. I hear the shower stop running. "By the Princesses, Cloud, would you stop being such a hypocritical bitch for five minutes so we can talk about this?" asks Algae. "I can't believe you're fine with having that thing live with you. For all your talk about your rules and how you're oh-so-much better than me, you seem awfully fine with throwing them away for a changeling. Or are you just such a narcissist that having a copy of yourself to bang whenever you want is worth it?"
I snarl at her. This was probably not the best idea. "Kicky is nothing like that. She's a good pony, and she cares more about others than you do. My rules are there so ponies don't get hurt."
Kicky walks in, her mane still damp. "Hey, what's going on? What's Algae doing here, Cloudy?"
"So you're the changeling," says Algae, turning to her. "Enlighten me, how many ponies have you raped, exactly? With all those mind control tricks of yours? Tell me how you can still look down your muzzle at me and lecture me about 'rules' after that. At least all the ponies I've been with said yes."
Kicky goes pale. "That's enough, Algae Bloom,” I say, “you've made your point. I think you should leave.”
"Thirty eight," says Kicky.
I stare at her, and under the scrutiny she backs out of the sunbeam and into the shadow besides my bookshelf. "...What?"
"Over the course of my life. I lured thirty-eight ponies into bed with me to feed from them. Some I only took a little energy from, but some... some I took a lot more. They weren't all in great shape by the time I left the next morning."
Algae scoffs. "See what you're bunching me in with? She's done far worse than I ever will."
"I'll tell everypony that you weren't one of us, if that'll help," says Kicky. She's studying the floor and won't look up at me.
"It's a start," says Algae. "Fine, I'll go now. You though, Cloud Kicker, need to figure out just why I seem to piss you off so much. We aren't as different as you like to pretend we are."
When I don't have an answer, she walks out the door leaving me and Kicky alone. The door shuts, and I hear Kicky begin to sniffle and breath harder. I can't quite bring myself to go comfort her. "Thirty-eight, huh?" She nods without looking up at me. "Ever kill anypony?"
"Yeah," she says. The silence lingering after that word speaks volumes. "Right before the wedding invasion. There was a little unicorn filly who walked in on me when I was in my real shape and she saw me. The Queen ordered me to silence her before she blew our cover. So I did." I see tears starting to land on my carpet. "She was... she couldn't have been more than a year older than Alula. What if Alula had been the one who found me? Would you have ever forgiven me?"
I open my mouth to tell her yes, of course I could have forgiven her, but the truth comes out instead. "No. If changelings had killed any members of my family in either attack I don't think things would have worked out the way they have. I'd probably hate your species as much as Azalea does."
For some reason she seems to find that funny for a moment, but then her dark mood returns. "Why, then? Why did the Elements decide I deserve a second chance? What am I supposed to say if I ever meet that filly's parents?"
"You can't change what happened, though. I don't know why the Elements did what they did, but all you can do is make the most of it. I have to get going, I'm already late for work. Are you going to be okay?" I ask. She finally looks up at me and does her best to smile.
"Yeah. Go ahead, I'll manage. I’m just going to pull myself together and spend the day cleaning up outside. It’s the least I can do.”
Later that afternoon I do a quick flyby over the house just to make sure Kicky’s okay. Turns out I shouldn’t have worried. Kicky’s not alone; I can make out Azalea scrubbing the paint off the front door along with her, and the two are chatting away. I can’t make out any of the words, but Kicky grins and says something that displeases Azalea, and gets a wet sponge thrown in her face. She throws one right back, and soon the entire enterprise has devolved into a sponge fight. As much fun as it would be to pounce on the two lathered-up mares and join in on the fun, I think I’d rather let the two of them bond. I’m sure they have lots to talk about.
----------------------
The days settle into a pretty comfortable routine as they roll by. After reporting the vandalism to the Guard there haven’t been any further incidents that I know of. I go off to work each day, while Kicky either helps out with the housework or goes into town to try to win over more ponies.
There are setbacks. One night I came home to discover Kicky sporting a black eye, and it took everything I had not to fly out and hunt down the bastard that jumped her. At least until she told me that he was already in the hospital with three broken ribs and showed me one of his teeth that she’d picked up off the ground after the fight. In some ways I’m glad that it happened. It reminded me that Kicky can take care of herself as well as I can. The biggest problem, though, is not one that I would have anticipated.
“I’m sooooooo boooooooored,” says Kicky. She’s laying back on the couch with her legs up in the air, flailing them at nothing.
“It’s kind of late, but I could see if Sea Foam wants to come over for the night. She was fun last time,” I reply, not bothering to look up from the paper I’m reading.
“I don’t want to stay here. I was stuck in this house all day today while you were at work. Lets go out. I haven’t been to the Sun’s Flank yet, and that’s just a crime.”
“You want to go to a dark, crowded place that serves alcohol when you know that there are ponies out there who’ll attack you if they get the chance? What if that stallion from the other day has friends who decide to brain you with a bottle? Or worse, pick a fight with you somewhere there aren’t any witnesses to tell the guards who threw the first punch?”
Kicky grimaces, and brings a hoof up to her swollen eye. “So what, live in fear of idiots like that for the rest of my life? No thanks.”
“It’s only been a couple weeks. Ponies are coming around, but you need to give them more time. I just don’t want to rush into anything that gets one or both of us hurt because we’re stupid.”
“Cloudy, three weeks ago I was lit on fire from the inside out and had all of my skin torn off. I don’t think anything anypony can do to me would even hold a candle to that.”
I’ll give her that one, but I still think a night out is a bad idea. “Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal. Next month Vinyl Scratch is doing a show at the Flank. Hold off until then, and we’ll make it your big debut.”
She huffs. “Fine. What am I supposed to do until then?”
“Well, I did pick up the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies on my way home. Why don’t we make a batch together? It’ll be fun.”
Her ears perk up. The first thing they taught us at West Hoof was to know your opponent’s weakness and ruthlessly exploit it. “Only on the condition that I get to lick the beaters.”
“Done,” I say as I rise up from my chair and start to pull out the flour, butter, baking soda, bowls, everything we’ll need from the cabinets.
Then from behind me I hear a loud popping sound, and a brief flash of purple light casts my shadow against the backsplash of my kitchen counter. I spin around, and there’s a pony standing behind me who isn’t supposed to be there.
“Twilight?”
Twilight Sparkle grins at me, but the effect is somewhat spoiled by her sunken and bloodshot eyes. “Hi, Cloud Kicker. How are you doing?”
“I’m... fine...” I reply, not quite sure how to answer. “Can I, uh, help you with something?” Kicky stands frozen in the arch of the doorframe, just watching.
“Help me with something?” asks Twilight. Then she seems to realize she’s in my kitchen. “Oh, right! Yes, I need some help testing a hypothesis. First though, some preliminary research.” Her horn glows and a parchment and quill appear beside her. “So you have a lot of sex, correct?”
This is not the Twilight Sparkle I’m familiar with, that much is clear. “Well, yeah. It’s something I enjoy. I’m not addicted or anything, I just enjoy expressing affection that way.”
“It’s true, we both do,” adds Kicky.
“Oh! Other Cloud Kicker. I didn’t notice you there,” says Twilight. She looks back and forth between us. “You know, you should really come over sometime and help me with some medical experiments. I’d already have the perfect control group built right in. But that’s not important right now.”
I thank my lucky stars when she turns her attention away from us and writes something down. I don’t think I want to find out what ‘medical experiments’ means to a mare who just teleported into my kitchen uninvited like it was nothing. “Twilight, could this maybe wait until tomorrow morning? We were just about to make some cookies.”
“Ooh, cookies! Fascinating! I better make a note. I can even help!” Purple light surrounds our drawers and cabinets and all sorts of utensils begin to fly through the air into a pile on the table. Then a hoofheld mixer catches her attention as it goes by. Everything stops, hovering in place while she studies it, mouthing words to herself and utterly enthralled by the device.
“Twilight? Is something wrong with the mixer?” I ask.
“Huh?” asks Twilight. Everything starts to move again like it hadn’t been interrupted at all. “Oh, no, the mixer’s fine. I was just remembering the time I used one of these to rip a changeling’s face off. Looked painful, but the motor burned out pretty quickly so I just used the steak knives next time.” Kicky shudders.
“Are you feeling alright, Twilight?” asks Kicky ever so gently. Everything about the mare screams out ‘handle with care.’ “You look a little out of it.”
“Just haven’t slept that well which is why... Right! That’s why I’m here, actually. So, after you have sex you usually fall asleep, right? How would you characterize that state?”
“I’m not sure I understand the question,” I answer, utterly lost.
“Like is it deeper than normal sleep? Would you say that you dream less than with normal sleep? Do you feel better when you wake up?” asks Twilight. She stares even more intently at me as she asks, like she needs the answer to this question.
“I think it probably varies from mare to mare. I’d say a little deeper though. What’s it like for you, if I can ask?”
“Insufficient data,” she replies. “The times that I’ve fallen asleep afterwards, I never woke up again. You know how it is with time loops. But good, this is great. So the hormones released by sexual exertion must diminish that sort of brain activity. So, next question, do you want to have sex with me right now, or alternatively do you know any mares who would do so on short notice? I don’t really care who.”
“You don’t... what happened to not being desperate enough to consider me?” I ask. When I made that offer to her I didn’t really expect her to take me up on it. Not that I’d say no under most circumstances, she’s pretty cute. These clearly aren’t normal circumstances, though.
She gives me a sad little smile as she pushes a strand of her frazzled, tangled mane away from her face. “I guess right now I am. Anything that’ll help me get some sleep. Please, Cloud Kicker. I’ll do whatever weird thing you usually do with the ponies you bang.”
I shake my head. “No way, Twilight. Not interested in something like that.”
Kicky walks up and puts a hoof on her shoulder. “If something’s bothering you, we can talk about it.”
Twilight’s hopeful smile falls away, turning into a nasty sneer. She pulls away from Kicky and begins to wander aimlessly around my kitchen as she rants. “Talk? Talk? You two are as bad as Spike. I didn’t come here because I wanted to talk about anything. If I wanted to talk what makes you think it would be to you, anyway? I came here because there’s one thing I thought you’d be good for, but you aren’t even willing to help me that way. Worthless. Everypony in this bucking town is worthless. I guess it’s up to me to figure this out alone, again.”
“You don’t really mean that, Twilight, come on,” I say. “Something’s clearly wrong, and if you think that insulting me and ranting are the solution, well, that doesn’t work.”
As I finish speaking Twilight’s eyes go wide and she starts to tremble. Before I can reach her, her horn flashes again and she vanishes as quickly as she appeared with a burst of magic in her wake.
“Yikes,” I say, still staring at the point Twilight had occupied up until a moment ago. “What do you think that was about?”
“I’m not sure,” admits Kicky, “but I think you’d better mention it to Rainbow Dash when you see her tomorrow.
I nod. She’ll probably know more about what’s going on with Twilight, and what to do about it. I move to start putting away everything Twilight took out, but then I stop. Gorging myself on cookie dough actually sounds really good right about now.
----------------------------
The next morning when I walk into the weather bureau, I head straight to Rainbow Dash’s office. She’s unusually active, flying around the room pulling folders out of filing cabinets and getting papers all over the floor. Most days she’s pretty sluggish until ten in the morning or so, or until she finds an excuse to get out into the field. “Hey, Dash, I need to talk to you about-”
“Sorry, Cloud Kicker. No time right now. It’s gonna have to wait,” she says as she drops a stack onto her desk and flies back to retrieve another one.
“But it’s about-”
“Look, I can’t deal with anything right now. In fact I need you to cover for me today. Emergency interval.”
“Emergency what?” I ask. My concern for Twilight is momentarily displaced. “I can’t, we’re already shorthooved as it is. Now you’re disappearing too?”
“I wouldn’t disappear on you guys if it weren’t really important, you’re just gonna have to believe me right now. If you need extra help, why don’t you ask your clone to come in?”
“Kicky?”
“Yeah. She knows how to do the job as well as you do, right? I’ll make some room in the budget to make sure she gets paid for her time. You’ll figure it out, but I have to leave right now.” Before I can protest again, she bolts out through an open window and I’m left alone. That isn’t actually a bad idea. I’m sure Kicky will be happy to have something to do.
A quick round trip home and back and Kicky is sitting in the briefing room with the rest of the team. The walls are covered in faded posters of Wonderbolts, a natural consequence of allowing Dash to choose the decor. The diagram I’ve drawn on the whiteboard up at the front of the room spells out the plan for today. Breezy, with late afternoon showers. “...So, any questions?” Every pony in the room besides Kicky raises a hoof, which is worrying. Today’s plan isn’t anything out of the ordinary, but I suspect that’s not what they have questions about. “Thunderlane?”
“Yeah. What’s the deal with the changeling?” he asks. It takes all my self control not to wince or show any weakness, which is the fastest way to lose the confidence of your team.
“The deal with Kicky is that she’s helping us out because we have a lot to do today and we don’t have a full squad. She’s kindly agreed to assist us. Raindrops, your question?”
“Is she going to be doing this often? Is one of us going to have to give up some of our hours to her?”
“This is just for today right now, nothing beyond that has been-”
“Would she be in the running if an assistant manager spot opens up?” interrupts Cloudchaser. “Does your experience that she remembers count if she is? I don’t think it should count if it wasn’t really her doing it.”
I slam a hoof down onto the metal desk, and the resulting bang silences the room. “Listen to me very carefully. Kicky is here to help us, she knows how to do the job, and that is all that is going on. If we decide to bring her on more often, which isn’t a decision we’ve made, then we’ll ask you for feedback or concerns just like we would before hiring anypony else. Now if there aren’t any more questions about how to do your jobs, we’re already running behind schedule. Get your flanks in gear and get moving. Dismissed.”
The team mutters a little, but they do comply. This time. Hopefully, a little time working side-by-side with Kicky will take the edge off their worries. If not... I really don’t want to think about it.
When Kicky and I both stumble home at the end of the day, completely exhausted, we just collapse side-by-side on the floor of the living room. It was after sunset before we finally pushed the last cloud into place and did all the prep work for tomorrow. I hope Rainbow Dash’s interval was worth it, whatever it was.
I’m about to fall asleep right there when Kicky speaks up. “Cloudy? Do you think you can help me find a job? I really appreciate you putting me up, but I can’t be a freeloader crashing in your guest bedroom forever. Plus, I need more going on in my life than just sitting around thinking or I’m going to go kinda nuts before too much longer.”
I open my eyes up and turn towards her. “It’s fine, it isn’t a big deal.”
“Cloudy, I remember you making your monthly budgets. Don’t lie to me. You’ve got more money going out than coming in, and it’s because of me.”
Busted. I sigh. “You’re worth it, but I understand. You want a spot on the weather team? You did great today, and Dash isn’t the sort who especially cares about nepotism.”
“Doing what, though?” Kicky props herself up on her foreleg to look at me. “There’s not going to be another assistant manager position available unless you, Blossom, or Rainbow Dash leave which I don’t see happening anytime soon. I’m overqualified for just day-to-day cloud pushing, and you heard what the team said. They don’t want me around, and not just because of the changeling thing. It makes sense for me, but it doesn’t make sense for the department.”
“Well, what do you want to do instead?” I ask her. It’s true that working on the weather team was something I just sort of fell into after West Hoof didn’t work out, but now I can’t imagine working anywhere else.
“I’ll flip through the help wanted ads starting tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe there’ll be an ad there that says something like Wanted: Former monster for unique position. Good pay, full health and dental. Must be hated and despised by entire town. Send resume and three letters of condemnation to central office for consideration.”
She plays it off like a joke, but that doesn’t hide the pain in her voice. “Don’t talk that way, Kicky. Things are going to turn around for you, I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Cloudy.” She gets up. “I’m going to bed. See you in the morning?”
I nod and watch her walk away, her ears drooped and her tail between her legs. I want to tell myself that she’s just tired after a long day of work, but it sounds like the hollow excuse that it is. There’s a place for her, somewhere, but for the life of me I don’t know what it is.
-------------------------
“Cloud Kicker! Hold up,” I hear a voice call out to me as I walk through the marketplace. My first day off in too long, I was planning on meeting up with Azalea for lunch. When I look back in the direction of the voice, who should I see but Twilight Sparkle trotting up to me. As she gets closer she slows down and hesitates. I guess my irritation at her is obvious.
“Hi, Twilight,” I say as dispassionately as possible.
She rubs the back of her head, and casts her eyes about before looking back to me. “Hey, about last week when I, you know...”
“Teleported into my kitchen, propositioned me, and then called me worthless when I turned you down?”
“Not so loud!” she hisses at me under her breath. “But yeah, that. I owe you an apology. It’s not an excuse for the way I acted, but I haven’t... I haven’t really been okay these last couple of weeks. I’m still not, I don’t think, but it’s something I’m working on now. And it’s something you didn’t deserve to have taken out on you. So for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry about that.”
I smile. “Apology accepted. So, now that you’re back to normal a bit, is the offer you made that night still on the table? Still looking to continue that experiment of yours?”
“Temporary insanity,” she says flatly.
“Well, let me know when you change your mind.”
“You mean if I change my mind.”
“Oh! So you admit that there’s a possibility?”
“That’s not what I... I didn’t mean... ugh!” She throws up her hooves and walks away while I laugh, then I continue down to the stall where Azalea’s waiting for me.
“What were you and Twilight talking about?” she asks as I approach.
I pause before I answer. Twilight would probably prefer to keep the details of that evening between me, Kicky, and herself. “Oh, she had kind of a rough night a while back. Said some stuff she didn’t mean and wanted to apologize to me for it.”
“Huh,” says Azalea, watching Twilight walk away. “I didn’t realize that you two were... involved.”
“We aren’t,” I say and Azalea perks up noticeably. “She just took the whole invasion and time loop thing a bit hard. I think whatever happened is still eating at her. You should hear the way she talks about killing changelings with kitchen appliances, like you or I would talk about trimming a bush.”
“I guess she must despise them, after what they put her through,” says Azalea.
“Yeah, probably,” I agree. “I wonder what it’s like, you know, in their heads. Kicky won’t ever talk about it.”
“It’s bad,” whispers Azalea. “They’re smart enough to know what’s going on and operate mostly independently, but any time they try to go against what the Queen wants she just sort of reaches in and takes control. Then they’re like prisoners inside their own body, and they just have to watch as they go ahead and do whatever she demands anyway. Most of the time it’s easier to just not fight. Whatever atrocities the hive mind wants done, they just grow numb to it. You do it willingly and tell yourself that even though you know it’s wrong you don’t really have a choice, and if the Queen has to force you there’s punishment later.” She blinks a few times and looks up at me. “Or something like that. I read some interviews they did with some of the transformed ones in Canterlot.”
I shudder. No wonder Kicky never wants to talk about it. “Sounds awful.”
“I think it probably is. But enough about that. Twilight likes mares, right?”
“According to the parrot, yeah. Why?”
“No reason. She’s probably not in any shape to start looking for a special somepony right now anyway. When she does she’ll be able to have just about any mare she wants. She’ll probably end up with some supermodel who also has four PhDs or something, not...” she trails off. It hasn’t escaped my attention that she seems to be talking more to herself than to me.
“Not what?”
“Nothing. Let’s go to lunch.”
“Not until you answer my question,” I insist. Azalea scowls at me as I slowly figure out what’s going on here, and when I do I give her a big, predatory grin. “Azalea? Somepony wouldn’t happen to have herself a little crush, now would she?”
The way she blanches and stammers out a non-answer is answer enough. Oh, this is going to be fun.