"*Yawwwn*" I yawn, twisting my body this way and that to stretch the sleep out of my muscles. "*sigh*..."
*blink*
That's wierd... I think to myself, sitting up. I don't remember going to sleep last night... Looking around the room, I spot the saddlebags off to the side. Well, today's the day... *sigh* I guess I won't get to apologize...
*rustle*
I turned my head to the door, to see who had come in, and I almost couldn't believe my eyes.
"Good morning... Cotton." She said wearing an awkward smile.
"Star!" I exclaimed, hopping to my hooves. "You're here! You're really-" I cut myself off to give her a hug. "I'm so sorry for before. I didn't mean to snap like that, can you forgive me?"
"...It's... alright, Cotton," she says, returning the hug. "I share some of the blame too, insulting you the way I did, calling you a-"
-profiteer! I didn't know that it was for-"
"I still should have taken your feelings more seriously-"
"-anything else, like the Haber Process, or-"
"Ahem!"
I turn to look at the entry, but nothing's there.
"Cotton?" She releases the hug so she can look at my face. "Is something wrong?"
"...No, it's... it's nothing," I say, ignoring the small headache I suddenly had, while turning back to look at her face. "Just a... wierd sense of deja vu." She looked concerned for a moment, before replacing it with a reassuring smile.
"I'm sure it's nothing. Now come on, let's get some breakfast," she suggests, grabbing my hoof and pulling me along until she's sure I'll follow on my own.
The walk to the closest food wagon was excruciating. Every pony who caught sight of me, dropped whatever they were doing to smile and wave, like I was some kind of celebrity. I couldn't help but cuss out Silver in my head for exposing my plans, and dumping this unwanted fame into my lap. Maybe I'm just too self concious, but I hate it when beings I don't know are looking at me.
"So, Star?" I begin once we're inside again. "Where have you been since... you know..?" I ask, grabbing some food out of the baskets.
"...Well, after our... arguement... I went to the hospital on the south side of the city. I spent the rest of the day doing volunteer work there."
"Oh? Did anything interesting happen?" I ask between bites.
"I guess that depends on what you mean by interesting. I got to see a minotaur giving birth, but other than that, I mostly just replaced empty IV bags, or carried paper work around." She paused to take a bite of carrot, chewing for several seconds before continuing. "Although, I did meet this nice elderly couple from a place called Dodge city. They came into the hospital with their grandson, who had gotton curious and ate some of the, uh... minotaur food, at a buffet."
"He ate meat? That can't be healthy, was he alright?"
"Oh, he was just fine. Hmhmhm," she giggled, "but it was funny, the grandparents were practically in hysterics! They thought it would poison, and maybe even kill him," she said, giggling once more at the prospect.
"You mean it wouldn't have?" I ask, confused, as that was what I thought would happen.
"Well of course not. It's a little known fact but, ponies, and other equines, can actually eat meat without ill effect."
"You've gotta be joking me..."
"Hmhm, nope, not at all. It isn't exactly what you'd call healthy, but so long as it isn't eaten too often, our digestive systems can handle it just fine." I just stared at her for several seconds, waiting for her to say 'gotcha!' ...but she didn't.
"...Huh... you learn something new every day..." I briefly contemplated skipping the rest of breakfast and getting a nice steak somewhere in town... I dismissed the thought, however, before I could start to seriously consider it. The way I saw it, it was like eating dog, just because you can do it, doesn't make it socially acceptable.
"So, Cotton, what are your plans for the day?"
"Well, actually, I was going to leave today," I answered, feeling sad that I couldn't spend more time with her now that she wasn't avoiding me. "Head back to Equestria, and get started on this whole project."
"I see... do you know when you're leaving?" She asked, showing no similar concern.
"No, I'll find out when the train leaves, when I go to the station and get a ticket," I replied, lazily chewing some lettuce. Time doesn't really matter at this stage of the game. Today, tomorrow, what's the difference? I thought, mentally adjusting my schedule so I could spend another day with-
"Well, we should go do that right now then, don't you think?" She asked, derailing my thoughts.
"Why right now? The train probably won't be leaving until sometime this afternoon," I reason, grasping for an excuse as subtly as possible.
"Maybe, but it's better to be safe than sorry, right?" She asks, reaching down and, once more, grabbing a hold of my hoof and pulling me along with her. "So come on, let's go to the train station."
Aw, dammit... I thought, letting her drag me outside. I already said I planned on leaving today, so I can't tell her I don't want to, or she might get it into her head that I never really planned to help them build a village, and have just been fucking with their heads the whole time... We make a quick stop at my wagon to grab a roll of bits before walking towards town. Doing my best to not too look agitated, I tried to make the most out of the situation by filling the entire walk with casual conversation.
Not exactly being a world class conversationalist, I weakly opened with the cliched 'nice weather today, huh?' Thankfully, the subject of weather made me think of pagasi weather teams, allowing me to speculate allowed, if there was a weather team for this city. This proved to be the spark necessary to make a real conversation take off, as we began an in depth discussion on the meshing of pony and minotaur cultures and innovations within the city.
The existance of mixed species eateries was an important subject in my opinion, as, back in Equestria, the very thought of a meat eating creature was enough to make most ponies cringe in disgust, if not fright. Yet here, ponies can walk into a restaurant and have a perfectly peacful meal, while at the very next table a minotaur is digging into a grilled chicken dinner, and nopony bats an eye!
Finally arriving at the station, we enter the main lobby and head over to the ticket counter, arrival and departure times being displayed on the board overhead.
So there's only one train to Equestria today, and it leaves at noon... well that blows.
"Well, would you look at that?" Star said in an excessively smug tone, wearing a smile of superiority and saying 'I told you so' with her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, rub it in," I reply, pealing a few inches of paper off one end of the bit roll while she giggled at me. "One ticket for the noon train to Equestria, please," I ask the ticket teller, placing a stack of fifteen bits on the counter.
"Boarding starts at eleven forty-five," the teller said, while giving me the ticket.
Ticket now in hoof, so to speak, we left the station and headed back to camp, so I could retrieve the saddlebags. I was going to have to spend the intervening hours waiting in town, because I didn't have a watch, or feel like buying one, and you can't hear the clock towers ringing from camp.
Silver met up with us outside my wagon, where we exchanged greetings. I was still upset with her though, so I only gave her a noncommittal 'hey', in acknowledgment of her presence.
"Hey!" She called, stopping me from walking up the plank and inside. "You're not still mad at me over last night, are you?"
"Yes, and I'm disowning you as my friend," I told her, being facetious.
"Oh, come on, stop being such a drama queen-"
"-My Queen-" said a male voice, accomponied by a sharp, but brief, pain in my right temple. Agh, what was..?
"-You're famous now," she continued, "who doesn't want to be famous?"
"Me," I reply, bringing a hoof to my temple, and walking inside to put on the saddlebags. I rub at my temple for a few seconds before donning them, trying to get the residual pain out from that wierd... whatever it was. Taking one last look at the place that had served as my home for the last week, I stepped outside, likely never to return. "Alright," I say, stuffing the opened bit roll into the saddlebags so I wouldn't have to waste energy on it anymore. "That's everything, time to- ...where'd Silver go..? I swear, if she's organizing some kind of grand sendoff, I'll disown her for real."
"No, nothing like that," Star assured. "She went to tell Diamond that you're leaving. We'll be meeting her at the edge of camp, she wanted to say goodbye to you in person."
"Oh," I said as we started walking. I guess seeing her one more time'd be nice. I don't think I got around to thanking her last time...
It took a few minutes after us for Silver and Diamond to arrive, and when they did, it was only the two of them. I don't know why I thought she would bring anypony else...
"M'lady," Star greeted, doing a short bow.
"Stargazer," she acknowledged, before turning to address me. I could have sworn her eyes were green, but when I blinked they were still blue. "Cotton... I suppose this is the last we'll be seeing of eachother for a while."
"Yeah," I replied, ignoring the slight headache I could feel building up. "Just a few weeks though, maybe a month if things go slow."
"We all hope for the best, and I wish you a safe journey. We will be staying here a while longer, acquiring the supplies we need to cross the Badlands again."
"I'm sure everything will be fine, but before I go, I wanted to thank you. I don't think I ever thanked you for teaching me these last few days... I know you didn't really have to, so..." I give her a proper bow for the first time since meeting her.
"There's no need to thank me, Cotton," she replied, putting a hoof under my chin, and raising my gaze to meet hers. "I have a feeling that you'll be rapaying me in full, soon enough." Again, I could have sworn that her eyes turned green for a moment, and the small headache from before became a bit stronger.
"I guess, but still, you went out of your way for it, so thanks," I finish, giving her a smile. "Goodbye Diamond, Silver. I look foreward to seeing you in Equestria." Farewells given, Star and I begin the walk back into town.
I couldn't stop thinking about those little hallucinations of mine though. Those weren't just any green eyes, they had diamond shaped pupils. That stupid headache of mine was starting to get even worse. The eyes of Chrysalis, Queen of the changlings... I don't know, maybe I just really wanted them to be changlings. That certainly would have made things more exciting.
Looking over at Star, walking slightly ahead of me as we draw near the first buildings, it occurs to me that that is a really shallow way of thinking.
That's like walking up to one of your friends and saying that you value their friendship, but, that it would be so much better if they came in black. Firstly it's racist, and secondly it's very insulting on a personal level. Besides, it's probably better that they're not 'lings anyway. They'd probably kill me if I found out-
-Don't need to kill me-
Suddenly I could feel every vein in my head, as they throbbed in time to my heartbeat.
God damn it, my imagination is really fucking with me today... AND WHY DO I HAVE A FUCKING HEADACHE! Jesus Christ I hate headaches, I didn't even do anything to-
"Is something wrong Cotton?" Star asked with concern. "You look really frustrated about something..."
"No," I replied exasperatedly. "I just have a bad headache for some reason, and it's really annoying me."
"Oh... I could, um, try healing it for you, if you want?" She hesitantly asked, which struck me as odd, considering she easily took care of my headache the last time.
"Yes, that would be great. It feels like my eyeballs are trying to jump out of my head." It wasn't as bad as when I teleported, but it was still a mean headache.
"Alright, just... sit down and I'll take care of it."
Doing as instructed, I parked myself down on the side of the street. Star's horn started glowing, and it looked dimmer than I remembered it, but that was probably just because we were in direct sunlight. She brought her horn to my head, and Immediately I could feel a cooling sensation spreading throughout my skull.
She seemed to be going slower than the last time she healed me, but I didn't really mind, continuing to focus on the sensation. It was like I could feel her magic flowing through my veins, pouring into every nook and cranny of my brain, fixing all the little things that were causing me pain. It was such a strange form of awareness, like nothing I'd ever experienced before...
*blink*
What's that..? I thought, at a peculiar sensation amongst the cooling effect of her healing magic. I had a hard time putting words to it... but it was almost as if there was a... a little shell, in my head. I could feel her magic flowing through my brain, but there was a little spot where none of it was going...
Curious, I tried focusing some of my own magic into that spot... and was met with a feeling of resistance. Now doubly curious, and suspicious, of this little bubble inside me, I started focusing more magic there. Upping the ante to match, and eventually surpass, the resistive feeling.
And suddenly, I remembered.
Oh shit, I thought as Diamond, or should I say Chrysalis, faced me with a stern and serious expression as her guards blocked the door. Without a word, her horn started to glow as she charged a spell. Having no idea what she was planning to do, but being fairly certain it would drastically shorten my lifespan, survival instinct kicked in.
With all the strength I could muster, I kicked outward with all of my limbs in a desperate bid to get out of the way of whatever the fuck she was about to do... Unfortunately, given the position my limbs settled into when I slid down to the floor, this action resulted in me giving Chrysalis a flying tackle into the opposite wall. But before I could even let out a cuss at my failed attempt at evasive maneuvers, I was pinned to the other wall once more by two sets of hooves, and at least one telekinetic spell.
"My Queen, are you injured?" Inquired one of the unpreoccupied guards while he helped her off the floor. If she gave a reply, I didn't hear it, over the sound of me breaking out in hysterics.
"AHH! Let me go, let me go! I love changlings, really! You guys are awesome, you don't need to- oof!" One of the guards gave me a hard punch to the stomach, knocking all the air from my lungs.
"You may as well stop struggling," the Queen stated. "You're only making this harder on yourself."
"Ugh... please, I promise I'll keep this whole thing a secret. You don't need to kill me, keeping my trap shut is even my special talent, so you can trust me."
"Hmph. Who said anything about killing you?" I sent her a confused, but incredibly relieved, stare. "Pointless as this plan of yours may be, it will keep us fed and sheltered for a long time. What kind of Queen would I be if I threw away such an opportunity?"
"*sigh* Thank god. Does this mean I can leave?" I hopefully asked.
"Yes..." she replied, making me cheer for joy on the inside. "...But, not yet," she concluded, draining my happyness away. "You may be capable of keeping secrets, and may even be telling the truth, but your word doesn't carry any weight with me, so..." Without even giving me the chance to object, she cast a beam of magic at my head.
Quickly I became aware of the familiar sensation of someone poking around inside my head, although thankfully there wasn't any pain this time.
"No, dammit!" I shouted, doing the best I could to fight against the sensation. "Get out of my head, I don't want my brain scrambled again!" I tried channeling my magic into my head, imagining something along the lines of occlumency from Harry Potter, and after a few seconds it seemed to be working, as the feeling of intrusion faded.
"Feh," she sneered, canceling the beam. "You have a very stubborn mind. I should have guessed this with how easily you resisted my mind control spell the other day." She glared at me for several seconds while I reveled in this minor victory. It was short lived, however. "Knock him out," she said, addressing her guards. "You won't be able to resist me while your unconcious."
Aw, dammit.
"Cotton..? Cotton!" Blinking out of my memory induced trance, I found a hoof being waved back and forth in front of my face.
"Yeah? Uh, how long was I, um... out?" I asked, trying not to feel nervous.
"Just a few seconds... What happened?"
"Well, uh, with you going slower this time, I could feel your magic as it circulated through my brain. It was really cool, unlike anything else I'd ever experienced, and I guess I just got cought up in it," I rambled off, hoping she wouldn't be able to detect my lie of omission.
"Oh, alright. You had me worried there, for a second I thought I might have, uh... disturbed something, heh heh" she said with strained smile and valiant attampt at a disarming laugh.
I smiled and went along with it, to keep her convinced that nothing changed. I'm home free already, just don't do anything suspicious...
"So, what do you want to do before the train leaves?"
"I don't know... we need to find a clock first, see how much time I have left..."
We managed to find a clock not long after, inside a little 'mom 'n pop' type bakery, the building design suggesting they lived upstairs. It was ten thirty, and while we were there, I spent a few bits on a pair of nicely sized doughnuts for us to snack on. A clever scheme on my part, designed to give me an excuse not to talk, so I could think instead.
Going outside, we found a nice bench to sit on while we munched away. In the mean time, I thought over the last week from my new perspective.
Now I know what those kids were doing, all clustered around me while I was unconcious. It was dinner time... From there, I remembered all my interactions with 'Silver Wind'. All the flirtations, all an act, set up to engender love... And their Zabrica story, how much of that was a lie, designed to gain my sympathies? Actually, the zebras probably just found out one day that they were 'lings... Taking another bite of doughnut, I moved on to all the time I spent with 'Stargazer'... I was starting to make myself sad, thinking that both of the friends I thought I made were fake.
"What's wrong Cotton? You seem sad all of a sudden," said Star, my emotions aparently betraying me.
"*sigh* Nothing's wrong... I was just thinking how much I'll miss you guys once I leave..."
"Ohh, don't worry, we'll get to see eachother again in just a few weeks," she replied, accepting my answer without suspicion.
Being a remorseless liar has it's advantages, especially when you're hanging around beings that can feel emotions, I thought, taking the last bite of my doughnut.
"Ah, that was good," Star began, getting off the bench. "So what do you want to do now? We still have about an hour before boarding."
"I can't really think of anything... I guess we can just walk around and see what comes our way." Getting back to my retrospective, a new thought entered my mind. I shouldn't be sad that they lied to me anyway, it's not personal, it's necessary. No one likes the changelings, and they have no reason to assume differently about me. They have to lie, it's their only way to survive, the only way for them to get any lo-
As that thought passed through my mind, I had a sudden realization.
Star... I thought, glancing at her from the corner of my eye, as she walked beside me. Changelings, the stories they make up, the personas they invent, everything is designed to achieve just the one goal, to aquire love. But her reaction the other day, that wasn't scripted, that wasn't an act done to engender love. It was a real reaction, from a real individual, with their own values and morals...
This was a significant realization for me. Given their insectile design, and the fact that the queen is the only one to display any sort of personality, I'd always been under the impression that changelings opperated on some sort of hive mind, controlled by the queen. This theory, however, was now being called into question, and with that uncertainty, a new question entered my mind.
If she isn't just some drone doing what she's told, but a free thinking being, than how much of 'Stargazer' is actually fake? I'm really not that different to a changeling right now, situation-wise. My whole identity is one lie after another, but I've never tried to fake my personality... so maybe, just maybe, she isn't faking hers either?
Curiosity is a terrible thing. I couldn't help but acknowledge this, as I made a plan that would almost certainly ruin my clean getaway if it doesn't work out in my favor.
I need to gain her trust somehow... but the only way to do that would be to reveal that I have all of my memories... This'll be dangerous. They let me live because Chrys did her memory spell on me, but because I broke it so easily, I doubt she'd take the same chance again if they found out...
I quickly came to the conclusion that the only safe route would be to tell Star right as the train was about to leave. That way, if things go south, I'll be able to hop on the train and get right the hell out of dodge before they can do anything about it.
Until then, all I can do... I thought, moving closer to Star, and beginning to actively look for something we could do together. Is put on a smile, and hope for the best.
This waiting is killing me, I reflected, sitting next to Star in the waiting area of the train station, surrounded by other waiting passengers. We'd been sitting there for about five minutes already, and the boarding call should be coming along any minute now. Turning my head, once more, to the clock on the wall, however, I could swear the damn thing was going in reverse. I had a horrible case of butterflies in my gut, and each tick of the second hand only served to make them more agitated, as the Moment of Truth grew ever closer at a snails pase.
"What's got you so anxious?" Star asked, drawing my attention away from the clock. "You've been fidgeting ever since we sat down."
"Oh, you know, performance anxiety, heheh," I replied with a nervous chuckle. "I'm gunna do something very important soon, and the anticipation is getting to me."
"Hey, come one," she replied, resting a hoof on my shoulder as a form of encouragement. "There's nothing to worry about, everything's going to turn out just fine, you'll see," she continued in a reassuring tone.
"*sigh* I wish I could believe you..."
"And why can't you?"
"Because I don't think either of us really knows what's about to happen."
"Attention passengers," came a shout, interrupting whatever reply Star might have had. "The northbound train to Equestria will be departing at twelve O'clock! All nourthbound passengers, please make your way to gate six, and have your tickets ready!"
Here goes... I thought, getting off the bench and replacing the saddlebags onto my back.
"Well, I guess this is it," said Star, also getting up.
"Yeah... But before I go, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, in private," I said, motioning for her to follow as I walk towards a secluded corner of the lobby.
"What's this about Cotton?"
"Before I start, I'd like to point out that I could have easily just said goodbye, got on the train, and left, without risking anything."
"What do you mean? Risk what?" She asked, genuinely confused.
"I'd like to get to know you better," I started, causing her to blush slightly, "but do you think we can trust eachother?"
"Yes, of course we can," she answered, smiling, oblivious to my true meaning. That would change soon.
"We don't have much time before the train leaves, so we might as well start with the simple stuff. Could you tell me your name?"
"Wha- what do you... what are you talking about?" She asked, at first confused, but then serious.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I know you're a changeling, that you're all changelings."
"How?" She asked with an angry tone, eyes narrowed at me. "You're not supposed to remember anything."
"It was when you fixed my headache." Her eyes widened in realization.
"I took away the pain... Fighting a memory spell induces pain, I should have realized that was the source of the headache," she said, berating herself. "But, no, you didn't... you didn't do anything, you didn't act any differently!" She exclaimed in disbelief.
"Your kind aren't the only ones who know how to lie," I said matter of factly.
"How could you hide it so well..?" She asked, sounding demoralized.
"I did my freaking out before then, and I knew that if I stayed calm, and kept quiet, I was already home free."
"...So why do this?"
"Because I'm curious. I've never met changelings before, and the time I spent with you, showed me just how little I actually knew about them..." I waited a few seconds for a reply, but it never came. "...So what's your responce..?"
She remained unresponsive, her head down, staring at the floor. After a few minutes, the final boarding call came.
"Attention passengers! This is the final boarding call for the northbound train to Equestria! The train will be departing in five minutes!"
"...*sigh*... I guess that's it then..." I said, walking away.
The line at gate six was pretty short by the time I got there, with only six or so ponies left. Looks like I'll be the last one to get on, I thought, as I approached. I was only in line for a few seconds when I heard the sound of running hooves.
"Wait, Cotton!" Turning around, I saw Star running my way.
She changed her mind! I thought with excitement, trotting away from the line so we could talk somewhat privately. As she kept running, I thought she might tackle me, but she instead came to a skidding halt just in front of me. "Yes, Star?"
"Emulate," she said, panting a few times to catch her breath.
"Excuse me?" I asked, somewhat confused about her telling me this random word.
"My name," she reiterated, blushing like it was somehow embarrassing, "i-it's Emulate." I almost couldn't believe it, she was giving me a chance! I smiled, and gave her a big hug, it was almost... scary, how happy this made me.
"Thank you Emulate," I whispered into her ear. I was about to let go, when she braught her forelegs up and returned my hug.
"Don't make me regret this, Cotton," she replied with a heart wrenching desperation to her tone, that just made we want to nuzzle her in comfort.
"Awww!" Came the sound of a soap opera's live audiance. Turning my head to see what was up, I found several ponies crowded against the other side of the chainlink fence separating the lobby from the train platform, and all of them were looking at the two of us.
"Fuckin' peanut gallery," I whispered, making Emulate giggle, before we released the hug and separated. "You won't regret this, I promise. Goodbye Emulate, don't forget to stop by Ponyville when you get to Equestria."
"I will, goodbye Cotton."
And with that, I walked over to the gate, held up my ticket for inspection, and finally made my way across the platform to board the train. The whistle blew about three seconds after I got on, and the train started moving out of the station. Looking back out through the doors window, I spotted Emulate watching from the fence. I waved goodbye to her one last time, before I started looking for a seat, purposefully ignoring the ponies who saw me nuzzle her.
There were a few available seats, but I moved down to the next car anyway, and found a seat there to occupy instead, placing my saddlebags onto the overhead luggage rack.
Homeward bound, I thought, feeling very good about myself. I wonder what Pinkie's been up to since I disappeared...