"Hello, Sterling. I think this is the first time I've seen you in here. What's the occasion?" Bon Bon cheerfully waved from behind the lilac-tinted counter. It hadn't been hard to locate her shop—even if you couldn't follow the trail of foals devouring fresh sweets, a hanging wooden sign displaying the three wrapped candies of her cutie mark was a clear indicator what the building stocked.
Unlike most Ponyville merchants, Bon Bon's Bon Bons—most opted to call it “B-Fours”—didn't double as a home, and she lived elsewhere with her marefriend. As such, the candy shop was much smaller than its neighboring buildings, like a garden gnome between two plastic pink flamingos.
When you walk into Sugarcube Corner, you get smacked upside the head by the scent of sugar. If Pinkie Pie isn't working, it just smelled like a bakery—the hearty aroma of bread cooking and the sweet undertones of frosting intertwined to create a unique atmosphere. Here there were no baked goods, and even though every last item was practically made of sugar, there was no overpowering, sickly sweet odor.
Rows of angled jars filled with all manner of candies lined both walls and didn't leave enough space for even one more gumdrop. Built into the counter and shielded from the front by glass, another cluster of shelves displayed what was popular or new. A pair of washboard signs kindly suggested foals to ask for help getting candy from the upper shelves. Although the wax paper—Equestria’s hadn’t quite figured out plastic wrap—wasn't colored as vibrantly as the goodies they contained, an enticing kaleidoscope surrounded any who stepped through the oaken door.
Steel-blue hooves clacked against the wooden floor before they reached the strip of black carpeting before the counter. I looked down at them and was swept off as my thoughts wondered why they were the same color as my fur.
"Equestria to Sterling. Come in, Sterling." A hoof waggled in front of my face, but since hooves were already on my mind, it did little to shake me out of my thoughts. Bon Bon scrunched her face and made a dissatisfied grunt before poking my snout. "Boop."
I immediately sneezed but fortunately turned my head and didn't spray her.
When she finished giggling, she smirked. "Works to get Lyra back to reality when she's really gone. Though she doesn't tend to sneeze."
My nose continued to tingle, and my rubbing only exacerbated it. "Sorry about that. How often does Lyra get lost in thought?"
"It depends on where she is and what she's fixated on at that moment. When she was into fish, she'd spend hours staring into the river. What were you thinking about? If you don't mind me asking."
"Hooves."
"Hooves? What for?"
"They're weird."
"I'll take your word for it." Oh sure, she teases the mare who hadn't lived her whole life with them. "So, are you here for candy or did you want to talk about hooves?" Her smile momentarily inverted as two unicorn colts entered the shop, one a dumpy, dull blue, the other relaxed and lanky with a tangerine coat and a perpetual expression of contentment.
"Snips, Snails, please be more careful this time." Bon Bon sighed as her eyes flicked to a section of scuffed wood.
"Yes, Miss Bon Bon," they dejectedly replied in unison before quietly discussing their options among themselves.
We kept up the small talk while I took a tour around the store, trying to figure out what sort of treat would hit the spot. There weren't too many stories I could share with her, but she had more than enough about Lyra's shenanigans to make up for it.
She regaled me with a tale of how the eccentric unicorn, while on a history binge, got her head stuck in a railing during a tour of Canterlot Castle, but the story was interrupted momentarily while the two foals made their purchases.
Settling for a mystery bag, a brown paper bag with a large question mark on both sides and filled with a random assortment, I remembered the original purpose of my visit was to get something for Twilight Sparkle's services. I couldn't help but giggle manically as an item on the shelf of new arrivals caught my eye, practically demanding its purchase.
Dave laughed loudly, breaking the odd silence he'd adopted for much of the past couple hours. "That's just perfect."
"I haven't had the chance to try one of these myself, but I've heard good things." Bon Bon placed the gift in a small white bag and hoofed it back to me. "Enjoy, and don't be a stranger, alright?"
"I'll do what I can, how about I invite you and Lyra to dinner sometime?" I really shouldn't have been holed up tinkering every night, but I didn't have a choice for now.
"That'd be nice. I'm sure she would love that idea as well." Nodding at her, I turned to leave, but her voice called out again, this time sounding nervous. "Sterling, wait."
Picking up on her tone, I sneaked a glance at Dave for his input, and he'd only arched his eyebrow in curiosity. "Everything alright?"
Bon Bon sighed and stepped out from behind the counter. "We're just worried about you. You always sport some new injury every time we see you, and then there's all the trouble you get into: the cart crash, your little 'field tests,' and then there's that explosion at the library—"
"That one wasn't my fault. Mostly."
After a quick hug, she continued, "You haven't been around town long, but you're a… memorable mare. Just be careful. Ponyville wouldn't be the same without you." The mare flicked her head to swing an errant lock of pink back into place alongside its purple companions. "And it would make Lyra cry, so you'd be in for a world of hurt."
"Can't have that happen." With a sincere smile, I quietly said, "I'll be careful, Bon Bon." To be honest, I didn't believe other ponies thought that highly of me. To actually hear somepony say I'd be missed raised my spirits. Maybe, just maybe, I could have eventually felt like I didn’t stick out worse than a manticore wearing a sombrero.
"Good." She tersely nodded and retook her spot behind the counter. "Now get going, you're scaring away the other customers."
Dave smiled but didn't add anything of his own. Something must have been bothering him, and I’d need to remember to ask him later.
Huffing with mock-indignity, I left but only got halfway out the door before scrambling back and ducking behind the counter, terrified at what was coming up the road.
"What's going on?"
She moved to go check herself, but a foreleg full of panic barred her way. "Stay put, there's a musical number out there." They weren't going to get either of us to sing if I could help it.
Once the music had died down, Bon Bon finally succeeded in getting me to leave. She had tried during the song, insisting that it wasn't that bad and would do me some good, but my grip on the counter was too strong.
The faint stench of cheese told me it was the typical romantic question. Didn't know why a musical number was needed for something where the only oblivious pony was the confessee, but it was still better than the song somepony sang outside a laundromat that got the mustard out of their work uniform.
A myriad of murmuring ponies were lined up outside Carousel Boutique as I passed by, and a grandiose banner displayed, "Come See the New Facet of Hoof Fashion!" Naturally, my pace increased.
Dave had a wry smile on his face as we walked by. "I wonder what that could be."
"It talks!" I gasped, half out of mock surprise and half out of tripping over a rock. "Ow. You've been quiet. Everything alright? You're being very… un-Dave."
"Just in a quiet, contemplative mood today. Nothing for you to worry about." He waved his hand dismissively. I'd try getting whatever it was out of him again later, even if I had to resort to the song that never ends. Dave’s silence continued, and no amount of prodding on my part could draw him out of his shell.
There were more ponies out today than all but my first few days in Ponyville. While still polluted with sporadic pockets of gloom, the general atmosphere was refreshingly cheery, and it took all my willpower to not sit and pony watch.
"Oi, Twilight! It's Gears." The knocks rang out loud and clear, hopefully catching either Twilight's or Spike's attention no matter what they were involved with.
I winced at the sound of a yelp followed by a crash, which was then followed by the ever amusing sound of Twilight Sparkle cursing, "Ponyfeathers!" My giggles stopped just before the door creaked open. "Come on in, Princess Celestia mentioned you might need my help."
Stopping just inside the door, I chuckled giddily at her, and even Dave couldn't resist a laugh. "Twilight, why are you wearing socks?" Four blue-and-white-striped socks covered her hooves, stretching about three-quarters of the way to her knees. Even if I hadn't been the one to hand her the idea, there was no doubt these came from Rarity—even I could tell the quality of the cloth and stitching was phenomenal.
"Oh, you already know what they're called? Rarity gave me a set, and she mentioned some crazy… it was you, wasn't it?"
"Maybe."
"Socks are becoming quite popular, and I can see why. They're incredibly comfortable, and are perfect for when it's chilly but not enough to warrant slippers—not to mention they stay on easier. The decreased traction takes some getting used to, though."
"Yeah, I heard the crash. Well, Twilight, you're even more adorkable now." My unfaltering smile was probably creeping her out a bit, but it was impossible to stop. I was thrilled to see ponies in socks, especially since it hadn’t gone straight to being considered lingerie.
"That's not even a word!" the pony princess protested as she stamped a hoof, but since cloth covered it, it was more amusing than anything.
"Hey, Spike!" The purple dragon froze for a moment and shoved a tub of floor wax out of sight before anypony else could notice it. He sighed in relief when I winked an agreement of silence. "Help me out here. Twilight says she's not adorkable."
"Sorry, Twi. She's right." He shrugged.
Defeated by the majority vote, she groaned and changed tactics. "Did you read that book?"
Looking her straight in the eye, I gave a curt nod. "Yes."
For a moment it looked like she wouldn’t believe me, which would have sucked because it actually did get read. Twilight stared me down while rubbing her muzzle thoughtfully. She tilted her head this way and that before eventually conceding. "...Alright." I released my held breath and noisily deflated. "I'm sorry, learning all of that may have been uncomfortable, but it was also necessary. I guess all that's left on the schedule is to help you with whatever you had planned." Twilight cleared her throat to disguise the waver in her voice.
"She might be scared about working with you after last time, but I think it has more to do with there being a chance the Elements of Harmony won't work." He had a point.
Two large gems—a ruby and a sapphire—were placed on the floor, and a square-cut topaz was tossed to Spike, so he wouldn't spend the day drooling over the other two. Shortly afterwards, crunching could be heard from elsewhere in the library. "I need you to rig them with thaumite and load 'em up without wrecking the library. Whoever fixed this place up did great, can't even tell there was a hole."
Twilight took a half-step back, her hoof hanging in the air as she looked at me incredulously. "Are you sure? Those are both much larger than the last one. I'm not sure I can even completely fill one of them."
"Really, Twilight? You're the Element of Magic, don't be stupid. Also, I brought candy." The bag rustled as it dangled from my mouth.
Suddenly far more interested, she took the bag in her magic and smiled. "Thanks. I’ll see what I can do."
As Twilight floated a quill made of sugar out of the paper sack, I snickered. "You're actually supposed to nibble on that one."
"I can't believe I'm still doing that." She cautiously bit off the end. "Ooh, it's orange-flavored."
"Habit from when you were younger?"
"You could say that." Her wings twitched. “Let’s get started.”
Despite her innate talent for magic, it still took Twilight Sparkle several sittings to fill the gems to the point where one more mote of power would mean Ponyville's forecast for the next hour would be scattered book showers.
My suggestion to store any of the voidling's weaknesses—except magic of course—inside the gem fell flat, and Twilight wasted twenty minutes explaining the magic needed to be shaped externally to utilize those elements. Thankfully, I’d already figured that would be the case and had planned differently, because why would things ever be that easy?
With some intense persuasion on my part, somehow succeeding on both diplomacy rolls, I convinced Twilight to let me examine and use her laboratory supplies and Dave to help dig up a bit more of my geochem knowledge. It was good to hear Dave talk again, but he was still in a funk and spoke laconically. It was strange to actually miss his sass.
Although chemistry wasn't very far along in Equestria, they were still advanced enough that oil of vitriol and aqua fortis could be somewhat easily obtained. If they were still calling them by their archaic names, how the hell did ponies advance far enough to have plumbing? Magic was needed to further refine and combine them and others, and Twilight was all too happy to put in the universe's cheat code. If anypony asks who taught her and Zecora how to make nitroglycerin, it wasn't me.
Spike almost caused an incident when he barged in, waving an urgent letter from Princess Celestia, informing us that Luna had finished modifying the tracking spell. We were to leave tomorrow morning.
With a new spell straight from the princesses to practice, Twilight promptly expelled me from the library and promised to bring ample quantities of the requested chemicals and flasks, and I could only hope she heard me warn against mixing them without me watching. There was nothing left for me to do other than head home, shape a few blasting rods, and puzzle out how to best trigger the explosive.
Hours passed, but eventually, a pile of sculpted thaumite sat on one side of the worktable. Even though it was only passable, the sight of it brought a smile to my face. The trigger, a blasting rod five times as large as any other, rested over my saddlebags like a crude lean-to. Using that monster would be a last-ditch effort in the event an alicorn—or Rarity on the off chance she’s able to in the first place—couldn't set them off.
The supplies for tomorrow were all squared away, and there was a fair chance my saddlebags would burst before morning. All that was left for me to do was wait.
"Talk to me, Dave. I want to know what's wrong."
"It's really nothing you need to worry about. Just have a bad feeling about all of this. We're going straight for the throat and hoping we can hurt it. One of its minions messed you up good, and only a Celestia ex machina prevented you and the entire pack from getting wiped out." He stared at the wall for a good minute before laughing. "You mixing magic with nitroglycerin probably doesn't help things."
My ill-planned dive onto the bed bounced me off the other side. "Shows what you know. It's going to be awesome, just you wait." I snuggled under the covers, ready to squeeze all possible sleep out of the—
"Sterling! Are you ready to go?" Twilight asked as she knocked heavily on the sturdy door, the solid sound echoing through the morning air.
"Not funny." I shot a glare at Dave, who was sniggering while taking up as much of the bed as he could.
"This place could use a mare's touch," Rarity said quietly, but not quietly enough for me miss hearing her or the terse admonishing Twilight doled out. "Just a touch of paint would bring so much life to this… location."
"Some green would be nice," said a country drawl.
As appealing as it was eavesdropping on them talking about my house, they were waiting for me. Six mares—two earth ponies, two pegasi, a unicorn, and an alicorn—walk into a bar… never mind, they were just standing outside, and two of them were insincerely smiling. Each wore saddlebags with clasps matching their cutie marks. Twilight also carried a burlap sack bulging with what I hoped was flasks and beakers, not mangoes.
"You!" Rarity’s hoof quavered as it pointed. "You are the one who gave me that most wondrous idea for socks. You've brought about a fashion revolution! I simply must thank you!"
Arching a brow, my attention turned to Twilight and Dash, who were rolling their eyes. "They're just socks."
"Just socks!? How could you say such a horrid thing?" She held her foreleg to her heart like it had just been stabbed and gasped for air.
"You two can talk fashion later, Sugarcube. We got a long walk ahead of us and plenty of time to talk then, alright?" Applejack smiled. With how exhausted she looked, it must have been even longer since she last slept than me. Dark circles hung under her eyes, and she struggled to keep them open.
"AJ's right. Let's go already." RD being impatient? What a surprise.
"Why are we walking? Couldn't we get a chariot or use the hot air balloon?" There was also a troubling lack of additional support. My hopes were for Celestia to show up and just whip the sun at the damn thing, but a small contingent of guardsponies or an angry mob with torches would also be acceptable.
"We used the balloon to get here as you can see." Almost entirely hidden by distance and terrain, a pinkish lump I’d thought was one of Pinkie’s baking mishaps turned out to be a rapidly deflating air balloon. "But for some reason the tracking spell breaks up more and more the higher we go. Judging from the direction and distance, it will be quicker if we use the westbound road south of here and then head north towards Canterlot if need be."
"Isn't that the general area where you showed up, kid?"
"Is it possible it's underground?" I was betting it was on or under that hill I’d fallen down during my first few moments in Equestria.
"That's a distinct possibility, but hopefully not the case. How would we get to it then?" I coughed and jerked my head towards the cave system's entrance. No sentries waited at the cave's mouth—they tended to stay inside until Mt. Dragonshy's bulk shaded the area. "Of course."
"Ugh, surely you don't mean to ask these brutes for assistance." Rarity recoiled in horror, taking a step back. "They kidnapped me and attempted to press me into slavery."
"Um, Rarity? The diamond dogs are nice now." I realized I hadn’t met Fluttershy before and wondered if I was supposed to call “bingo” or something.
"How could they possibly be 'nice'?"
"Get with the picture, Rare. Pinkie and Gears took over, why do you think she lives out here?"
"Because she's crazy! No offense..."
"Some taken."
Applejack and Rainbow Dash quietly chuckled into their hooves.
"Pinkie wasn't kidding about that? I thought she was just playing a game. Where is she anyway? Pinkie, dear, where have you gone?"
"I'm talking with Dave." The bubbly voice came from behind me, back inside my home. "No, I'm not telling her that, it sounds mean and doesn't make sense. How could Rarity pull a stick out of her donkey when she doesn't have one?" Dave's facepalm could have been heard from Canterlot.
"Perhaps you should introduce us to your friend, Pinkie." I didn’t want to dislike Rarity, but she was making it difficult to tolerate her company.
"Sorry, you can't see him anyways." Thankfully they left it at that. After all, it was Pinkie Pie. Twilight did arch an eyebrow at me though.
"Okay, we're wasting a lot of time right now, but I think I can cut our travel time. We just need to go down into the caves and let them decide who wants to come with while I gather up our transport." Eyes widening, Dash pumped her hoof and zoomed over to the cave.
"I believe I shall remain up here. It's bound to be positively filthy down there, and I just got ready for the day an hour ago."
"Come on, Rarity. I reckon you'll be alright long as you don't go rolling around in the dirt."
"Actually it'd probably be best if she did stay up here. They're still kind of scared of her."
"Moi?" Her friends’ faces matched her disbelief.
"They shouldn't have done it in the first place, but they were only going to make you work for a day as punishment for trespassing. Not life-long slavery. Dog ears are far more sensitive than pony ears, so your high-pitched whining actually caused them pain. And to top it off, you took two months worth of food, far more than you manipulated Spike into digging up in the first place, to sew onto clothing." I knew I broke her when the fainting couch appeared.
"When you put it that way, that is so not cool." At least she looked a little guilty, not that she did much other than help carry out the gems Rarity pillaged. "Anything else we need to blab about for hours?" Dash frowned at the unconscious unicorn. "Or can we get going already?"
"Just one more thing." Dash flopped onto the ground, groaning at Twilight. "Sterling, I mixed a small sample of nitroglycerin like you showed me yesterday. Could you tell me if the composition is correct?" A tiny vial floated out of the sack and towards me, following even as I backed away in panic.
"Twilight! I told you how volatile that stuff was! How did you make it here intact?" That would have been very awkward to tell Princess Celestia.
"I kept it away from the flames. I'm not a foal."
"Volatile doesn't just mean heat. Levitate the vial over there slowly and drop it." My voice shook as I pointed to a very open, faraway space. It wasn't the smartest way to dispose of it, but Twilight would hopefully learn what she was toying with. I really should have clarified more. It was unlikely they had come across anything similar.
"You're not even going to inspect it? How will I know if I made it right?" Her ears fell flat against her head, confusion and sadness mixing together. "What did I do wrong?"
"Move the damn vial and we'll find out."
"Sterling." Applejack growled, pawing the ground like a bull. "Change your tone, or I'll change it for you." Dash glared a similar threat, Fluttershy looked like she was ready to tell me off, and Rarity snored.
Death loomed in front of me, but I remained calmish. "Twilight, please do what I said before you kill all of us." That stirred them up a bit, and Dash heroically—stupidly—lunged at the glass tube suspended in lavender magic to save her friends. "Dash, stop! You'll set it off!" Her air brakes squealed as she skidded to a midair stop. My physics ached.
"Why the hay would you ask her to make something like that?"
"I didn't. Not yet at least—I need her magic to properly mix the ingredients without setting them off. Now will you please just do what I asked? Raise a shield around us before you drop it."
Glumly, Twilight nodded and the vial of oily liquid floated into the distance until it could barely be seen. After a call to make sure nodog was watching from just below the surface, I nodded to her. A shimmering, violet dome appeared over all of us, including Rarity on her couch, and the small speck dropped to the ground. The distance was probably overkill, but I didn’t how big a blast that small amount would make.
A loud bang and a tall plume of dust later, I patted Twilight’s withers. "Congrats, you made it right." Maybe I’d overreacted a tad. Just a tad—maybe a smidgen, but a bit would have been too much. Still, that blast was the rough equivalent of half a stick of dynamite and would have done some serious damage if it'd gone off in the hot air balloon.
"What'd I miss?" Pinkie asked, her snout smooshed up against the translucent shield. "Oh, and Gears, I used the last of your flour, sorry."
"I don't have any flour."
"Of course you don't. I used it up."
"No, I didn't have flour before you got here."
"Then I must have used the last of my flour. Sorry Pinkie, I thought I was using Gears's flour. That's okay, Pinkie, I forgive you. Thanks! Would you like a cupcake? It's what I used it on, so it's only fair if you got some. Don't mind if I do!" She quickly quaffed a cupcake she pulled out of wherever she pulls things from. I had to give credit where it was due—her self-conversation really defused things.
Smiling at her antics, I marched towards the cave. "Alright, let's get started."