//------------------------------// // Where in the world am I now!? // Story: My Little Ranma: Friendship is Dissonant // by herupony //------------------------------// My Little Ranma - Friendship is Dissonant Chapter 2 Where in the World am I Now!? I trudge upstream, breaking up the monotony by continually training and getting more used to my new form. I walk, run, jump on rear hooves only, then do the same on my front ones, and work into other variants after that. This continues till I come up to a series of caves honeycombing both sides of the gorge. The entrances are all roughly about the size of a small van. Cautiously, I keep to the middle of the gorge, but as I reach the first cave entrance, a burgundy coloured eel the size of a small car pounces out at great speed, yellow serpentine eyes narrowed and focused, it's maw stretched open with me as its intended meal. A ki powered leap avoids the attempted bite, and as payback, I use the snout of the eel as a springboard. An outraged roar erupts beneath me as my hooves make meaty impact, and I launch myself further along. The eel's roar acts as a siren call as more of its comrades launch themselves out of their caves at me. I turn into a whirling dervish of hooves, flitting from one eel to the next. As an eel attacks, I make sure it regrets attempting to turn me into a snack by ensuring I get at least one decent blow in after I make my evasion. Three eels come at me at once. The first snaps at me, front on, but before its mouth can close, I land a punch on a fang, pushing me to safety, rebuking the eel for using such a straightforward attack as my hoof cracks the fang. The second snaps close to my tail; I contort myself away to the side, and I see eye to eye with my attacker, right until I land my counter in its eye - turning it away, roaring in pain. The third comes at me from below, and I snap a kick on its chin to gain height, and its upwards movement is diverted away from me. My dance with the eels continues in this manner without respite, as they seem to be quite hardy - most of my blows merely stun them momentarily. With each eel I evade and counterattack I add more effective, but increasingly difficult techniques with each passing minute, and start taunting each eel that fails in its bid to swallow me. I'm unsure whether any of them understand my words, but my mocking tones seem to enrage them further. Despite their size, the eels have been disappointing as far as challenges are concerned, their attacks are well telegraphed to me well before they come close. Feeling whimsical, I decide to keep in the middle of the mass of caves, and start running around on the backs of the eels, forcing them to contort around each other in their attempts to snap at me. In their hunger, more eels join the fray, and the tangle of serpentine bodies quickly turns into a knotted ball of giant eels. I hop away from the melee, satisfied with my handiwork. It seems that every single one has left its cave and has ended up in the giant knotted mass of hissing angry eels. I'll give the eels credit for persistence - even now, the ones closest to me are writhing with all their might in an attempt to get to me. As they do so, their action chokes their neighbours, who then also react by writhing around as well, tightening the knot of eel bodies. Plumes of rock dust waft around me, a result of the eels smashing rocks and crashing against the walls of the gorge. Feeling good about myself, I bow once to my erstwhile opponents, pull one eyelid down and stick my tongue at them, then turn around and continue my march onwards upstream, the roars of the eels gradually fading into the distance. The march upstream is monotonous for an hour or so till I start rounding a corner in the gorge. A gentle breeze blowing behind me increases in strength with each step forward till it turns into a blustering gale that threatens to blow me off balance. I frown as I see the cause - the gorge narrows and the way forward is impeded by a wall of oversized brambles, proudly shooting up from the stream, gnarled branches with sharp thorns challenging all who dare to attempt to pass. The way forward does not seem obvious to me as the thorns are large and sharp enough to do a fair bit of damage. Some small gaps are present at ground level that would allow a small animal through, but are too small for me to crawl through. Higher up, the brambles seem to thin out a little, but are well short of the enormous height of the gorge. Experimentally,I hop up a fraction off the ground, and find the wind is strong enough to blow me forwards. A fun idea comes to mind and I grin as I run up to the brambles, leap upwards, turning myself so that my hooves face the brambles directly. The wind blows me towards the brambles, and as I make contact, I push myself away and upwards, effectively bouncing myself off. As I gain height, the wind blows me back, and I repeat my motions, laughing as I scale up the wall of brambles by continually bouncing off it by pushing myself upwards and away, the wind blowing me back into contact. About three quarters of the way up, I find a gap that is large enough for me to squeeze through and I let the wind blow me into the tight space. A narrow, twisted, thorny passage through reveals itself as I make my way in. The wind continues to push me hard, and I use my body as a sail, floating from one spot to the next by nudging myself away from the brambles. Tumbling and freewheeling my way through, a few close calls occur and scratches on my flanks mark the price of passage. My celebration at clearing the brambles is short lived - the wind dies off suddenly as I clear them, and I find myself cursing as I'm caught stalled in mid air, with the ground a long way below. Gravity reclaims its hold on me and I gain speed rapidly as I plummet towards the unforgiving rocks below. I break my fall by rolling hard as I reach the ground, the momentum drives me forwards quicker than I expect and the last thing I feel before I black out is my head making contact against a large boulder. The first thing I see as I regain consciousness is the sun dropping under the horizon in the same strange rapid motion the moon did at dawn. Once the sun sets, the moon rises at a speed that is unbelievable to my eyes. At the same time, I feel the familiar ripple of magic course over my body as it changes into the form of a mare. I still feel a little concussed from my collision with the boulder so I make camp for the night. My stomach growls at the lack of food, but it's nothing I haven't gone through before - there isn't anything around that I can see that eat, even as a horse. Hopefully tomorrow I can get out of this gorge and find some food. I pull my tent out of my storage space, pitch it, and drift off to sleep immediately. I dream of my male human form, climbing a mountain made of giant bowls of rice, ramen, and okonomiyaki. Scattered around are boulder sized pieces of takoyaki, tempura, and fried chicken. Atop the mountain, shining like a beacon is a cask of magic water from the spring of drowned man. Climbing, I see three rivals for my prize racing upwards - my old man, Mr. Tendo, and the old lech Happosai. "Ranma, let your poor, suffering father be freed from his cur- urk!" shouts and gurgles my old man, as his efforts in scaling the mountain are disrupted by Happosai, who with a single flick of his pipe tosses my old man into a koi pond which materialises out of nowhere as he lands. An enormous splash of water and koi carp flies from the pond, and a dazed looking panda appears when the water clears. "I get the cure for you Ranma, and let you have it if you marry Akane!" exclaims Mr. Tendo, scrambling up a takoyaki boulder. "None of that Soun!" cries Happosai as he bops Mr. Tendo over the head with his pipe, "I would miss my dear little Ranma-chan if he was cured. He still hasn't modelled my newest silky darlings yet!" Happosai reaches into his gi and pulls out a pink,lacy bra, "When Ranma-chan has modelled enough of my silky darlings, only then can we consider a cure! Now you two! Bow before your master and seek forgiveness for daring to deprive me of Ranma-chan!" A giant ki manifestation of himself appears behind Happosai as he releases his battle aura. This demonstration cowers my old man and Mr. Tendo, and they begin to prostate themselves before him. As they do so, I leap towards the three of them, snatching the bra from Happosai and kicking both my old man and Mr. Tendo down the mountain. With great satisfaction I watch both of them tumble far away, out of the fight for now. "Ranma m'boy, I'm so glad that you've accepted my present!" smarms Happosai. "Now all you have to do is turn into Ranma-chan so you can model for me." Before I can retort, my head is knocked over from a blunt impact and I am soaked. Somehow Happosai has snuck around me and dumped a wash basin over my head. I pull the basin off to see Happosai has backed a good twenty metres from me. "What happened to my Ranma-chan?" laments Happosai. "If there's no more Ranma-chan, then you're useless as a heir like my other students. I insist that you give my silky darling back!" I stare down at my hoof which is still holding the bra, my whole body shaking in anger. "Useless!? You've never been my master, and my skills are greater than those two!" I tear the bra to shreds, throwing away ribbons of silk. The diminutive form of Happosai darts around me, gathering the shreds, caressing them in his arms. I barely hear his reverent whisper, "You destroyed my silky darling." He lifts his head up, smouldering rage in his eyes bearing at me. A barrage of Happo daikarin bomb my position as Happosai screams, face flushed red, "You destroyed my silky darling!" The Happo daikarin explode, chunks of takoyaki and fried chicken are ejected into the air, heat from explosions snapping at my hooves as I am pushed hard in defence. Deflecting some of the chunks into the incoming Happo daikarin gains me a little breathing room, allowing me to pull something from my ki space and throw it into the air. Happosai flickers over to my thrown object, places it against his cheek for a moment then throws it away, destroying it with a Happo daikarin. Instead of being weakened, his battle aura flares, "You dare throw me a something that has been worn by a cross dresser! For that a lesson is in order!" Happosai draws from his back a Happo daikarin the size of a small house, dwarfing his diminutive stature. "Learn your place!" The Happo daikarin hisses my doom as it flies towards me at an impossible speed, heat from its explosion searing my entire body, my eyes blinded by the flash. I open my eyes, surprised at the lack of pain, and find myself lying on a red carpet. Glancing around, I am disconcerted by the opulence surrounding me. The carpet leads to two golden thrones on a dais. Stained glass windows depicting horses in action line the throne room. A dark sapphire figure struts from the dais, ethereal cobalt mane wafting, crown sparkling atop the horned head. A crystal covered hoof lifts my muzzle upwards, causing me to gaze into a pair of sultry cyan eyes. A regal voice speaks to me with kindness, but I make no sense of what she is saying. It seems like she speaks in that fancy English that is used in the plays I endured in high school. I mutter, "I don't understand." and her face changes to one of puzzlement. "Dost thou understandeth me now?" queries the mare. It seems like she can speak Old Japanese, something I barely understand. I give a non-committal nod in response. "We sensed thine coming, and were anxious to meet thee before..." her words trail off as I feel a familiar ripple work through my body. Eyes widen in surprise as powerful wings beat, lifting the mare from the ground, blowing a breeze into my face. Her next words are so loud that they blow me back a foot, " WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!? HAVE IT AT THEE, CHANGELING!" The horn on her head ignites in a cobalt aura, as her eyes menacingly narrow. A blue flash lances from her horn as the corona of the aura peaks, lashing through the carpet, leaving a deep furrow in the marble beneath at the spot I just hurriedly vacated. Her horn flashes again and again, with me dodging each attack thanks to the charge up time, but staying on the defensive is not in my nature. I feint to one side, and she attempts to anticipate my move, missing me entirely, allowing me time to gather my own energies. "Moko takabisha!" I shout as a golden beam of energy roars from my hooves. My opponent looks surprised for an instant, but counters in time with a blue beam from her horn. The two energies clash, coalescing into an expanding ball which suddenly explodes, pushing us apart. We both hit an invisible barrier simultaneously, causing ripples to propagate through the throne room. I hear a crack, and the throne room shatters, falling away to reveal us high in the air, the mountain of food below us. Realising my disadvantage instantly, I quickly close the distance to the mare, who has spread her wings out to recover from her tumble. I pin one wing against her body as she bucks violently, trying to shake me loose. We plummet downwards towards the peak of the mountain, grappling the whole time, with me head butting her every time her horn lights up. Rice explodes everywhere as we impact near the peak of the mountain. Happosai in the shape of a horse sits atop the peak, drinking from the cask of curse water. "Ranma m'boy that's more appropriate company for you!" he quips. Food flies everywhere as we continue our fight, rolling down the mountain. We tumble past a horse shaped Mr Tendo who has burst into tears lamenting, "The schools will never be joined!" My old man, still a panda, pulls out a sign, "I'm just a cute panda." Our descent down the mountain continues, neither of us giving any quarter, until finally, the mare somehow frees herself and takes to the air. Backing away from me and flying higher, she shouts one last thing as a ripple surrounds her and she fades away. I wake up the next morning, feeling great from a good nights sleep, with only vague recollections of a dream involving food. As I put away my tent, I glance at my pendant - the rays of the morning sun glint off the horn of the horse chasing the moon. Resuming my march through the gorge, I reach the end at a plateau rimmed with tall trees. Climbing to the top of the tallest one, I survey my surrounds. The stream meanders to the south into a desert, girdled by snow capped mountains. To the east is a flat grassland broken with bluffs, and a seemingly impassable mountain range looms to the west. Looking north, I can just make out the outline of a sparkling white castle on the side of a mountain. Decision made, eastwards it is for now, as the way forward looks more inviting. Three days travel eastwards later, and I can safely say that I'm sick of tall grass and trees, bushy grass and shrubs, short, bushy, tough grass and cactii. The only reason I'm still travelling this way was that I climbed to the top of a bluff and saw the outline of a town. Crossing over a ridge, I see a sight that delights me, a valley filled with apple trees. Just beyond the orchard is a small town that looks like it's out of a western. In the orchard, groups of horses similar in shape to my current form are working. The sight is somewhat amusing, as most of them are wearing cowboy hats and a few of them are even wearing vests. They seem to be working in teams harvesting the apples. Some climb the trees to pluck the apples, others seem to resort to bucking the tree trunks. The apples are collected into baskets which are then loaded onto carts which are pulled into the town. I repress a snicker at the sight of the pastel coloured horses at work as they seem have looks of determination on their faces. The whole vista seems somewhat saccharine to me, and a thought crosses my mind - if Azusa or Akane were here, they'd be likely kidnapping one or two of them and strangling them to death with affection. Rummaging through my inventory confirms that I have no means for trading with the horses, and the fact remains that I don't know whether or not they are friendly. I make the decision to retreat out of sight and to wait for nightfall. When night comes, the orchard is abandoned, so I scurry up the nearest tree with a crown ladened with apples. Plucking one off a branch, I savour the sweet aroma for a moment before biting into the crisp, juicy fruit. The apple tastes like ambrosia to me after three days of travel and is quickly consumed as I shudder, recollecting the memory of eating like a horse for the first time. I gorge myself till my appetite is sated, and fall asleep on a large branch. Tremors in the tree rouse me from my slumber the next day, and I blearily look around. A herd of buffalo is stampeding towards the town, feathers in their headgear, war paint and menace on their faces. Leaping out of the tree, I race towards the town, ready for a fight.