//------------------------------// // 1. Big Deal // Story: Of Females and Feathers // by HinataHyuga //------------------------------// "Damn, Dash, I'm not gonna eat you," she said through a laugh. "You're so tense… just relax, alright?" The blue Pegasus suddenly averted her gaze, the blush that was coating her cheeks only growing darker as she realized just how noticeable her nervous feelings were. She swallowed down a bit of them as best she could before again meeting the golden eyes of the griffon who rested atop her. Gilda released another short laugh. "You want me to stop yet?" "N-No! I mean…um," she trailed off before she could get much else out, again looking away for a moment. Hesitantly after, she gave a shake of the head, unable to keep a small smile of embarrassment from showing itself. She was nervous, yes, but also a jumble of so many other emotions, some of which she'd never felt up until now. Like the excitement that came from being so close to someone, so vulnerable. The desire for said someone to stay so close. It'd all happened so fast: they'd been merely talking just a few moments ago, laughing, the way they always did, as the best friends they were; and now, they were in a position they'd never been in before, close, bodies gently pressed against one another, large griffon wings draped over her protectively. Her heart was racing. As it was the first time she'd ever done anything like this, Rainbow Dash was indeed a little scared…but she didn't want to stop. "Then relax, and trust me." Perhaps she really had always noticed it, just chosen to ignore it – the way she'd always been more drawn to the female gender, and tended not to notice the male all too much. It was never something she'd thought about, though. Just something that'd been with her forever, that she'd assumed was harmless, and didn't mean anything real. Perhaps she hadn't noticed, however, how much this tiny way she had, had grown into something a little bigger. Every now-and-then, she'd catch herself eyeing another girl, feeling an attraction to said girl's looks that seemed a little different than the normal, friendly attraction she had for those she considered her friends. She'd stop whenever she noticed it, a little confused by it, but she'd always kind of brushed it aside in ignorance, along with the fact that she'd never felt that way for any male she'd ever come across. Then Gilda came along. There had always been random girls that Rainbow Dash had found attractive, but none of them had gotten as close to her as Gilda the griffon had. The two of them had almost instantly become best friends when they'd met in flight school, and over the few years of being there together, growing even closer, was when Rainbow had honestly begun to worry a little about the attractions she had. Gilda was someone unlike any she'd ever seen, or known; everything about her only gave the pony more of those moments she tried so hard to ignore. It'd actually worked fairly well…until Gilda noticed it, and decided to edge on a little more than Rainbow had bargained for. But though it had surprised her, even scared her a bit, she hadn't been able to say no. She hadn't wanted to say no. It was now morning. Rainbow Dash could scarcely believe the happenings of the previous night were actual memories now, real moments of the past. Nor could she scarcely believe she was a major part of those moments becoming memories. She'd always had that strange attraction to others of her gender, but she'd never thought she'd actually act upon it. But…she had. Looking back, she could easily remember the touch of Gilda's sharp beak brushing down her neck, how wonderful it felt to have those brown wings around her, her breath and whole mentality being swept away from her as their bodies did things she'd never even imagined could feel so good. She could hear herself crying out for more, and she could feel herself truly wanting more. Now that it was over, though, now that all those sensations were memories, they didn't feel the same anymore. The only thing Rainbow Dash wanted to do now, was forget them. She could no longer call herself a virgin. She could no longer cling to the old lies she comforted herself with whenever her thoughts were on females, and not on males. What she'd gotten herself into now was much bigger than anything else she'd ever done. And it frightened her. A part of her felt like crying. But Rainbow Dash wasn't a cryer. She'd never been a cryer. Another part of her just wanted to disappear, go back to the safety of her own home and start over, pretending none of this had ever happened. She knew such a thing was pointless, though: these new memories would always be with her. As would the newfound revelation that she simply was not attracted to males, and never would be. "What's wrong with you? C'mon, Dash, it's time to fly!" It was almost as if the previous night hadn't happened at all with Gilda; she was completely unfazed, wanting only a few moments after waking up to head back to the skies. This confused Rainbow Dash, quite a lot. Wasn't having sex supposed to be more of a big deal? Especially sex with another…girl. She looked away, shaking her head. "I-I'm sorry, Gilda…I think I might just skip lessons for today." "Skip! Why would you skip? You're one of the best flyers we got!" It was true. Rainbow was a natural in the skies, and usually loved flying, but today, she really didn't feel like doing anything. Everytime she tried to think of other things, her mind only wandered right back to the thought that she'd given her virginity to another female, and loved it. She almost felt sick inside thinking about it. And her distress was quite visible, especially to the griffon who knew her so well now. When Rainbow had no response, Gilda sent a suspicious glance her way. "Don't tell me this is about last night. You liked it, didn't you?" The glance quickly became a more worried one, as the thought of Rainbow actually not liking her first time passed through Gilda's mind; but Rainbow had certainly enjoyed it, wanted it, hell, she'd had multiple chances to stop it, and she hadn't attempted to take even one of them. Looking up to meet the griffon's gaze, and catching the worried look, Rainbow Dash immediately stood to her feet with a similar expression. "What? No! I mean…I did like it!" The Pegasus gave a short whimper, crouching down now and covering her head with her forelegs. "I-I just…" "You just what?" "…I don't…like girls." Slightly taken aback by the sentence, and very confused, Gilda raised a brow. "Huh?" Rainbow quickly realized how stupid such a sentence sounded when compared with the happenings of the previous night. She obviously couldn't both enjoy being with a girl in that sense, and not like girls at the same time; moving her forelegs and giving a small groan of annoyance, the pony tried again. "I'm not supposed to like girls!" She looked up to Gilda after the second go, awaiting her response. For a moment the griffon only kept her confused gaze, while Rainbow's own eyes stayed hopefully widened. She'd begun to worry that she still wasn't making sense, when suddenly, a small smirk came onto her friend's beak, though she kept the same expression. Gilda laughed just a bit before regaining her normal, cool demeanor once again, and rolling her eyes affectionately. She said, sounding slightly amused, "Honey, you can't just decide what you're supposed to like. Lots of girls like girls. It's not a big deal." At the words, Rainbow's worry was overshadowed by a tinge of fear. She was nearly frozen for a moment, staring back at the griffon. How Gilda could see this as something that wasn't a big deal, she'd no idea. Maybe lots of girls did like girls, but Rainbow Dash didn't want to be one of them. Flight school had once been enjoyable. Perhaps one of the most enjoyable things Rainbow Dash had ever been a part of. Now, though, she wasn't so sure how the rest of it would be. What she'd do about her new self-discovery, or her new loss of virginity, she really didn't know. It was very possible that no one would even notice the differences in her, except herself and Gilda, which was definitely what the Pegasus hoped for. But she couldn't help but feel like there was now some big neon sign following her every step of the way, pointing out that she liked girls. It was more than enough to make her wish she could forget all about the rest of her days there, and just go home, even if the sign wasn't actually there.