//------------------------------// // The Letters of Truth Seeker : Marching Orders // Story: Open This Immediately! // by Kenneth Invictus //------------------------------// From The Materials Of Truth Seeker Classification: Secret Well, it worked. The idiots actually think I want to be a part of their group. This one dumb pony actually tripped over his own (censored) to recruit me. Well, he would have had the stallion actually been in front of me, but that's not important right now. What is important is I am now inside the MAIN compound of the [redacted]-forsaken cult, no, excuse me, church. (I can't even take this idea seriously. What, does stained glass make you a church now? ) Well, these four guys came for me at the safe house, all decked out in stupid pink rags. I mean, I'm sure they think it makes 'em all mysterious and crap, but I think they look like bums. Anyway, they come for me, and we get into this massive chariot. Really, it's almost as big as [redacted] own chariot. It's filled with that same dull pink they always use, but it blings, and it's got some wicked stuff inside. They even have a dessert dispenser! (Made of actual dessert. You know, the sugary kind. Not the other kind.) Anyways, we start traveling, and next thing I know, we're already in their universe, pulled up next to this wide-(censored) building. Seriously, it's the widest (censored) building I've seen. It's kinda tall as well. And of course, it's the same color of pink and got their logo plastered all over the front. Other then that, you couldn't even tell it's a creepy little death factory. So then this gray unicorn comes up to me, and bows to me (Like he should. He is in the presence of a boss, after all.) First thing I notice about him is his horn is a mess. No, seriously, it's full of cracks, and looks like it's being held together by glue, which may not be out of the question, considering who we are talking about here. Anyways, he introduces himself as New Order, and welcomes me to the Church of Pinkamena (Yes, it has a longer name, No, I don't care.) After that, he tells me he'll give me a tour tomorrow, and asks if I want anything. I thought about asking for a couple of mares, but kept that to myself. Not sure how he'd take it this early in. So we go to what I'm guessing are the guest quarters, and gives me the key to my own room, and bids me "Adoo". Funny thing, they didn't search my stuff at all. Didn't even ask about it or anything. I'm sure somepony is angry about not seeing how her illusion magic held up against scrutiny, but I'm not look a gift human in the mouth. So, as you've ordered, I'm recording what I see and sending it to.you. I'm sure you'll put it to good use to destroy Pinkamena. I'm also sure that Archivist 004 will keep complaining of my choice of words. (Hey, Archivist 004! (censored) you!) And I'm sure it's going to be a simple mission. Like A Boss Truth Seeker --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Representative North Thorn and Representative Ninassakau As you are aware, At 1:00 PM, our time, you will leave for the following location: 245 Turnip Way, Ponyville, Equestria, Universe 45 However, we have been made aware of at least one Agent Of The Flame is near this location, and has already made martyrs of three members of our Inquisitors. We also believe there is one Son of Velis Vel with him. Combined with the fact that Pinkamena Herself has sensed something through her Sense Beyond Sense, something enough that she has requested protection for you, we are sending five Inquisitors and a Battle Priest with you, to ensure a smooth operation. We are currently unsure of how many Agents you will need to be aware of, so stay on your guard. If you find yourself in trouble, you are ordered to retreat back to this universe. We can always do her Will at a different time. We cannot bring you back from the Summer Glens. By Her Will Mr. Rich Uncorks P.S. So, have you two lovebirds decided on a honeymoon location yet? I've heard good things about Xanadu, over in Universe 232. Just sayin'