"WHAT!?" shouted Twilight, her voice reverberating through the hall.
"So these two are the friends from the other world?" remarked Celestia.
"The Mirror...?" said Fluttershy
"These guys?" said Rainbow
"Y'all're from another dimension!?" said Applejack
"Wow! That is super cool!" said Pinkie
Rarity said nothing, as she had fainted.
"Glorious as the sun..." remarked Lemon, staring at Celestia.
"'bout as subtle, too." commented Zegram, also staring at her.
"You...you didn't think to tell me this!?" demanded Twilight. "You didn't think that the fact that you and Princess Luna knew eachother was important!? After all that you already DID tell me!?"
"Well, to be fair..." began Zegram, as he turned to look at Lemon, who looked back at him.
"I imagined the look on your face when you'd find out like this..." he continued, as a smile began to spread across his face.
"...and it was worth it." he said, as he and Lemon descended into laughter. Celestia looked unamused, and managed to catch Luna as her face began showing signs of amusement. A mean glare later, and Luna had to rise above it.
"My friends, 'twas a terrible joke to pull on our newest princess. Even if 'twas rather amusing."
Twlight began to fume as her Bannermares surrounded her in an attempt to calm and reassure her. The other five elements joined in, deciding to hide their amusement at an admittedly mean prank by tending to their friend.
"They...they were already...but they, aaand we were...but they were new!" Twilight stammered.
"Now now my princess, it's okay! It was a mean joke is all!" said one of her bannermares.
"Stallions do have such poor senses of humour." said another.
"Now now sugarcube. Y'all gotta stay calm. Ain't good fer yer health ta be like this." said Applejack.
"Twilight, my dearest student. While I find their prank in poor taste, we must focus on the matter at hand. Luna's friends, and I do still hope your friends..." began Celestia.
"Well ofcourse princess! But I-" started Twilight, as her mentor cut her off.
"...are trapped here in Equestria. Now that we are all aware that they do not belong here, it is important that we figure out a way to allow them to return home. They must surely wish to at least have the option. However, first, it would be very nice if we could ascertain..." but Celestia was cut off by the sound of a large splash, and Zegram shouting "SIX POINT FOUR!" with Lemon following it up a second later with "WOOF!"
"...what exactly your story is." Celestia demanded, in a commanding tone.
"Where'd y'all get that apple juice anyhow?" asked Applejack.
Luna took a sheepish attitude, being drenched in Applejuice, and with a midnight blue glow from her horn, dried herself off in an instant.
"Alright so, uh..." began Zegram. "Well it started a couple days ago..."
A young man in Texas, America, was sat at his computer one night. He had skype and a few windows open during his nightly browsing, and he received a skype call from a friend of his. "Weehaa", he answered as he picked up the call.
"DUDE!" said the Englishman on the other end. "DUDE I JUST WON THE FUCKING LOTTERY!"
"DUDE! NOICE!" he replied.
"Now I know this is a fiction!" said Pinkie Pie.
"Shush, you" said Lemon.
"So, what're you gonna do?" said the Texan.
"Ok firstly I'm going to fucking wasted!" said the Englishman, and promptly hung up. Unsure of what to make of it, the Texan decided to simply call it a night and go to sleep.
Come the morning, he booted his computer and re-opened skype. he had recieved some messages in the night from his friend. They were some hours old, but his friend was currently still online.
Lemon: Dude I bought a moonrock! 0:28 AM
Lemon: But I have to go pick it up from somewhere 0:28 AM
Lemon: sucks :I 0:29 AM
As soon as the Texan began typing, he recieved a call.
"Where you going to pick this up from?" he said as he picked up.
"Dude I'm coming to Texas!" said the man who was clearly Lemon.
"Dude Zegram! Come to the space center, it's where I'm picking it up!"
"What? Like, when?"
"Today! I just got off the plane!"
"How are you skyping?"
"I bought a smartphone!"
"What, but you said you never wanted one of those."
"I'm rich BIATCH!"said Lemon, and promptly hung up again.
Ok, fine he thought. Fuck it, I ain't got much to do today. It's Summer, I ain't got school.
With that, he called out to his mother.
"Mom? Here's question for ya. Can I go meet my 21 year-old gay European friend? He's here in Texas."
"Don't be ridiculous, ofcourse not!" came the reply.
"Well what if this was a fiction about colourful ponies?"
"Well if you put it that way I guess I can't stop you. Plot device an' all."
Another skype call and an hour later, the two young men were in a taxi together, headed for the space center. During the ride the two discussed various inane things, as the Englishman who answered to Lemon nattered on and on about how excited he was to be wealthy, and Zegram chimed in with stupid but hilarious ideas of what to do with the money.
After the ride, the two young men arrived, and were met by a small group. Two scientist-looking types and three men who were clearly some form of security. In the hands of one of the scientists was a small object, wrapped in paper.
"Mr. uh...Mr. Largepeen?" said the one holding the object, somewhat nervously.
"That's me!" responded Lemon.
"Largepeen?" asked Zegram.
"My Email address."
"Hah."
The exchange, despite being out infront of the space center in the parking lot, felt like a drug deal. Once the package was received, the scientists and their security left without a word, leaving the two guys standing there, confused.
"Did..." began Lemon. "Did we just do a crime?"
"I don't...think so" said Zegram.
After a while, the two had gone to a nearby park, where they planned to inspect their package.
"Why did you even buy a moonrock anyway?" said Zegram
"Moon rocks are cool man." said Lemon, as he began unwrapping the paper. Inside, the package was still wrapped, but in tin-foil. After opening the second layer, the rock inside was not as expected. Instead of a dull grey moonrock they both expected, what they found in their possession was something more alike a crystal of sorts. Blue, almost shiny, and with a kind of glitter appearance, the rock was indeed strange to look at. It even seemed to resonate somehow, with an unusual sensation. Looking at it caused the two to feel a strange sensation of vastness and motion.
"Haha, cool! I own the weirdest moonrock I've ever seen!" said Lemon. Immediately he began to prod at it, giggling like an idiot. This did not last long however, as soon the rock began to shake, violently.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO" shouted Zegram, seeing this, and as Lemon dropped the rock in surprise, dark blue electricity appeared to arc from it. The bolts arced further, and as the two backed off, they rapidly began to form an oval shape in the air infront of them. As the dark blue glow and the sound of electrical zapping continued, the oval shape began to fill in. First came a blackness, and then small white lights. Their distance was clear, and what they were seeing was obviously space. They also noticed the ground behind the oval had became grey, and dusty in appearance.
"What." began Lemon.
"That's the fucking moon. You just opened a portal to the moon. Why did you open a portal to the moon?" said Zegram, in shock. "WHAT THE SHIT MAN THERE'S A PORTAL TO THE MOON AND...AND WHAT THE FUCK"
At this point, the two had noticed a blue face. Dark blue, and clearly some kind of horse. It's effervescent mane, glinting with pinprick starlights, it's long blue horn, and it's near-black tiara were very distinct.
This was Princess Luna.
"Hm? What is the meaning of this?" she asked, calm yet commanding.
"Yeah uh..h-hi your maj-" but he cut himself off and turned to Lemon. "ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK."
But his attempt to elicit some sense of the situation was for naught. Lemon was enraptured. His face alight with an expression of joy and excitement, he immediately bent down onto one knee.
"Your Majesty! My Princess! Ohmygod! Holyfuck it's you you're here ohman." he said, apparently to the ground.
"Well?" she demanded again.
"Well uh, so we bought a rock, and uhm, we touched it and then this portal opened and I don't know." said Zegram, still confused.
"Oh man! My Princess! My Liege! Man I would never have thought this would ever happen but ohmygod it's happening like you're here and you're prettymuch my favourite and oh man oh man DUDE IT'S THE BEST PRINCESS LIKE HOLY FUCK MAN I THINK IM GOING TO DIE HAHAHAAAA."
"You flatter me." said Luna, who actually seemed genuinely flattered. She then took a few steps forward, and stuck her head through the portal, and immediately she took on a more excited attitude.
"Oh my! I know of this place!"
"What." said Zegram, now wallowing in the nonsense of it all.
Luna took some more steps through, only to be enveloped in the same dark blue light around the portal, and her form rapidly changed, taken up by that of a tall human woman with long dark wavy hair, hanging over her shoulders and down to the small of her back which seemed to shimmer with a blue sheen, sporting a long and thin elegant dress of midnight blue. It was sleek and formal, but it had a practical style to it. Her large horn was gone, as was her tiara, replaced by a black headband, simple yet elegant. On her feet she had a pair of sleek boots, that extended past the hem of the dress, leaving no part of her legs exposed. They almost looked modern. She even had a belt, with a crescent moon belt buckle.
The two young men simply stood, and stared. She was taller than the tallest of the two by two feet and cut an imposing figure despite her slender frame, at 8 feet tall.
"Oh! I recall this aswell!" she exclaimed as she bent down and picked up the rock that had produced the portal, Lemon's very expensive moonrock. As she picked it up, the portal fizzeld and poofed away, leaving the three stood alone in a park.
"What." the two said in unison.
Zegram was the one speak up immediately after.
"H-how do you know this place?"
"Well, if I do recall correctly, this is the place where a ruthless tyrant was banished to, long ago. A Centaur warlord by the name of Tirek, leader of a very violent horde of Minotaurs. My sister and I banished him here for his crimes." and with this she turned to Lemon specifically. "I take it you know of my sister, since you seem so fond of me?"
"Y..yea" said Lemon, the shock of the event settling in now that his excitement had faded some.
"Well, from what I've heard, soon after his banishment to his place, he went mad. Named himself Genghis Khan or something similar. I remember as he was banished, he cursed at us, and vowed to raise a new mongul horde."
Immediately the tow looked at eachother with surprise, and again spoke in unison.
"Well fuck"
"I'd often wondered about this place that we'd sent him to. Seems I have the chance to properly visit now." said Luna, with suppressed excitement in her voice.
"Yeah ok uhm, just hold o-" began Zegram, but was cut off.
"WE'LL BE GLAD TO SHOW YOU AROUND PRINCESS!" exclaimed Lemon.
~~CUE MONTAGE~~
The trio went to a mini-golf course, and played a round. At first Luna found the activity confusing, but she quickly adapted, and displayed an adept natural affinity for it. It was an indoor course, lit purely with flourescent "black" lighting. When they were inside, Zegram noticed Lemon was glowing completely white under the light, and simply muttered "Ew".
After that, the trio moved to a Natural History Museum. Their first port of call was ofcourse the dinosaur skeletons, whereby Luna, upon seeing a T-Rex skeleton, was confused.
"It's arms are missing!" she said.
"What? No, they're right there, they're just tiny."
"No, not that pair, the larger pair."
"Oh..."
Their third stop was a zoo. The two silently wondered how Luna would handle the sight of animals in captivity, but their fears were abated by her enthusiasm. perhaps her royalty lad her to having some form of superiority complex that made the concept of a zoo alright with her.
That was however, until they went to see the primates. At first Luna was enjoying herself, but as she made eye contact with a gorilla, she narrowed her eyes, stepped back and, for the first time, Zegram and Lemon heard her use The Royal Canterlot Voice.
"WHAT DIDST THOU SAY TO ME, MORTAL!?" she demanded form the gorilla, who immediately backed away from the window, ran, and hid. At this point, Luna was drawing more attention than just her height. People were whispering, and children were pointing.
Their final stop was an arcade. Called 'Main-Event', it was a colourful place, jam packed with various videogames and even some air-hockey tables. The place appeared to resonate with Luna, as she lit up with excitement more than anywhere they'd been thus far. It was lucky Lemon was a lottery-winner, as Luna must have spent several thousand dollars in the space of only a few hours, hopping from machine to machine, engaging with these videogames on a level that was not expected of an 8 foot tall woman. Again, people were staring and pointing and whispering. However, here in this arcade, their faces were all smiles. She was a spectacle, but unlike in the zoo, she was seemingly welcomed. Approached by various people, Luna was caught up in talks about the various games on offer, and had even gotten into a discussion about tactics playing a fighting game that Luna had only just logged an hour and a half of playing.
The attitude changed however, after a round on the strength-test game. Zegram was the first to hit, and he managed to hit the bell. Luna seemed impressed by this, and even clapped for him. Lemon was the second, and though he had more stamina, his actual strength was not up to par, and he only reached halfway with his blow. Luna still clapped.
When it came to her turn however, her blow broke the device. Not in the cliched form of the bell being struck from it with force. The strike pad was simply crushed.
With that, the trio decided to make a hasty exit.
As the day drew to a close, they decided on going to see a movie. It would have been a good way to end the day, had the theatre not been showing the one film that the two did NOT want to see. Even Luna was shocked and upset to see the Equestria Girls poster.
"What is the meaning of this!? What manner of Tartarus have we banished Tirek to!? Thou livest here?" she demanded.
"Yeah so uhm..." began Zegram. Lemon dared not have this discussion with his favourite royal.
"So in this universe uh...you and all the ponies are uh...ca-cartoons..."
Unexpectedly, Luna simply sighed, and put her head in her hands.
"By my mane, not again." she muttered. "A wonderful day though it has been, I feel I must return home. You two have shown me a good day in this world I've failed to visit as of yet, and for that I thank you."
With this, she turned to Lemon. "You sir. The stone of the portal belongs to you I take it? Wouldst I be permitted to use it, that I may open the portal once more?"
Lemon didn't even hesitate, and presented her the rock. As she took it from him, she didn't prod at it as he had done, but held it between her palms, and seemed to press on it. Again, it's power arced and flared, and again the portal opened revealing the surface of the moon.
"Wouldst thou share with me your names?"
As luck would have it, at the moment the two told Luna their names, a very angry truck driver was caught in traffic, and loudly expressed his displeasure with a blaring of his horn. Luna heard their names ofcourse.
As she stepped halfway through the portal, Luna turned to the two again. Her face was now, if anything, inviting.
"Wouldst thou care to join me?"
"Oh...oh I dunno man-" said Zegram.
"YES. BY ODINS BEARD YES." said Lemon.
"Odin? You know him? How is he doing?" asked Luna.
"Uh, his son killed all the ice giants I think." said Lemon.
"I expected as much. I did notice there aren't any around." she said.
Zegram decided to pull Lemon aside at this moment.
"Look man are you sure about this?" he asked.
"What? Ofcourse! Dude this is like, some trippy shit out of a fic!"
Zegram just looked at him with a stern face.
"Anyway" he said. "I don't know about this man I mean, say we can't come back?"
"But I have the rock! I mean Luna has the rock!"
"But that's the moon right there!"
"Pretty sure it's okay. It's not even our moon."
"What's the difference?"
"I feel a breeze."
"You know that actually makes sense. FINE. Fine let's just go."
"Awesome!"
With that, the two turned to Luna, and followed her through the portal. The sensation of transformation as they stepped through could be described as nothing short of painful, but brief. Immediately falling to the floor on account of having never experienced a pony body before however, was somewhat more embarrassing, if painless.
What startled them more, however, was the way in which the rock that Luna had held in her magic began to shake violently again. As the portal fizzled out a second time, the rock shook and shook, before exploding in a mild 'paff' and showering blue glittery dust on the ground.
Lemon lowered his new nose to the ground near the dust and simply stared at it.
"Oooohhhhhh" he said.
Zegram however, was furious.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK"