Robert sat in an uncomfortably low chair facing Celestia and Fujiwara. It was like having a tea-party with his niece, and when he thought about it that way, it wasn't that bad. The thought was completely broken with Celestia though; she looked like a giant dog when sitting like that, and he had a hard time not laughing.
"Sorry for being a bit of an asshat," Robert grinned sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know what got into me..." He looked at Celestia, " So... alien ponies, cool."
Fujiwara deadpanned at him, then sighed, "...fine... Anyway, we should probably introduce ourselves like Celestia asked." He brightened and looked at Celestia and Robert. No matter what happened, this was bound to be awesome; he was talking with an alien! "I'm Fujiwara Kaito, a senior at the University of Tokyo, or "Todai", majoring in applied mathematics... Also," He looked to the window, "I'm albino, so I sunburn easily, and I lost my umbrella falling through the portal to get here, so could we carry on this conversation some place out of the sun?"
Celestie turned her gaze to the windows and used some of her magic, darkening the glass.
"Wait," Robert interrupted, "how do you do that?"
"Hmm?" Celestia turned her head back.
"That- that sorcery stuff," Robert repeated, moving his hands around an imaginary orb.
Celestia looked at him for a while, trying to remember the word, "Oh, you mean magic." She sat back, "Every unicorn is capable of a certain amount of magic."
Fujiwara cringed at the word magic being used by Celestia.
"Wait a minute..." Fujiwara interrupted, everyone looked at him while he thought about what to say, "...Define magic. What is magic?"
Celestia raised an eyebrow, surely these creatures had some sort of magic... "Magic is the alteration of reality through-"
"Stop." Fujiwara held his hands together in a T for timeout sign, "You can't alter reality, once you do, your alteration is part of reality, and so was your "altering reality", so neither of those were "altering reality" at all."
Celestia stared at Fujiwara... He was definitely smart; it had taken Twilight a few days to come to that conclusion. Then again, Twilight probably only took that long because she thought voicing her thoughts would upset Celestia, and she was very young then. "Very well, I'll explain it to you in more detail later; I don't think Robert has introduced himself yet."
Robert sat up and dusted himself off, "Oh, I'm just your average auto-shop worker." He sat back, thinking, "You know, I never really got interested in much. I mean, I could talk about politics and economics for a while, but... Well, my job pays the bills well enough, and with stock trading I could probably do without the job, but it keeps me stable. I don't really understand putting myself through all that stress for some degree."
Fujiwara desperately wanted to promote the glory of higher learning, but he decided to hold back and talk about something else, "Oh, are Americans already out of that recession?" He smiled, glad.
Robert looked over at Fujiwara doubtfully, finding his smile creepy. How many years ago was that recession anyway? "...You don't really get out of a recession, it has lasting effects on the economy. People just adapt to those effects. Besides," he looked up, remembering, "I just got lucky."
Fujiwara nodded his head and stared at Celestia for a while.
Celestia got the message, "I am Princess Celestia, I rule over all the little ponies in Equestria."
Robert looked back down at that statement and grinned, "Sounds like we're meeting with the queen of the world!" Robert looked over at Fujiwara, but he wasn't paying attention. Instead, he had his hands folded on the table and was leaning towards Celestia.
"When you say 'Equestria', do you mean your city, your country, or your world?" Fujiwara asked, giving Celestia a piercing, almost predatory gaze.
Celestia sat back, a bit uncomfortable, "the Country," she stated. That gaze reminds me of dragons and griffons... Is he part of a predatory species?
Sitting back up, she forced herself to look at Fujiwara, "I'm sorry, but what is "applied mathematics"?" Then at Robert, "And what is an "auto-shop"?"
Robert spoke first, "An auto shop is where people take there cars to be repaired."
Celestia's expression remained the same. "...And what is a "car"?"
Robert blinked a few times, "...Self driven carriages?"
Celestia's eyes went wide at this, apparently he was a carriage repairpony, but how could a carriage drive itself without magic? It seems her assumption was wrong. "You creatures must have wonderful magic to have so many self driven carriages that it warrants a repair-pony for them."
Robert looked at Celestia skeptically, "...We don't have magic... Don't you ponies have engines?"
"...What are engines?" Celestia tilted her head.
"...Nevermind..." Robert sighed and held a hand to his head. Describing engines would take too long... Then again, he was kind of glad; this place would probably be completely without pollution. He heard stories of places without pollution: you would breath in and the air would taste sweet... then you would try to go somewhere and it would take forever...
Fujiwara held his balled up fists closed to his head, scrunching his face. Then he made other strange motions. Robert joined Celestia in raising an eyebrow at Him.
"Watashi wa-" He clenched his teeth "-Kore o shitte iru!"
Celestia turned to Robert for answers. He just shrugged and raised his arms. Then he heard a slam.
"Yatta!" Fujiwara held his arms up in the air.
Celestia and Robert both looked at him in alarm.
Fujiwara cleared his throat, "An engine is a mechanical device that..."
Robert and Celestia continued staring at him. He started to sweat; this would be tough.
"a mechanical device that transforms energy from heat into mechanical or electrical energy." He grinned, "The most common one, the "diesel engine", contains multiple shafts, attached to each-other at different stages to smooth and continue operation. The shafts first compress air and fue- burnable liquid, then expand when that mixture explodes." He made wild gestures with his hands, "All these shafts are connected to a central wheel, and have... joints that allow them to spin that wheel."
Fujiwara collapsed, exhausted.
"Aw man, Fuji-san..." Robert sat back. Fujiwara glared at Robert, he had worked so hard! He deserved praise! Not "Aw man, Fuji-san". Robert continued, "Now instead of ponies riding ponies, I won't be able to see in front of my own face."
Fuji-san chuckled, that one was kind of funny for some reason. Maybe it was the thought of ponies riding ponies.
"Hmm," Celestia sighed, slightly confused. The engine did seem interesting though.
She turned her gaze to Fujiwara, "And what is "Applied Mathematics"?" She repeated.
"Have you heard of mathematics before?" Fujiwara gazed back, slightly annoyed at the lack of technology. Then again, maybe he could become a teacher. He always wanted to be a teacher...
"No." Celestia met his gaze.
"2+2=4?" Fujiwara kept his gaze at her.
"Oh, arithmetic!" Celestia smiled, expecting to see a smile back from Fujiwara.
Instead, she saw a man scowling and clenching his heart, struggling to come to terms with a great horror, "Okay..." Fujiwara steadied himself, "What's the most advanced concept related to that?" He asked.
Celestia sat back, "Well, after algebra, there's trigonometry. And that's about it."
Fujiwara sat back and let out a breath of sweet Canterlot air. "Okay," He pushed himself back and stood up, "I'm going to teach ponies calculus." He looked at Celestia, "Do you have a chalkboard?" This was going to be nostalgic...
Robert and Celestia stared at Fujiwara once again.
"Dude," Robert spoke up, "Your going to lecture the alien leader on Calculus?" He stared at Fujiwara with a bewildered look.
Fujiwara stared back.
Robert kept on staring.
Eventually, Fujiwara pulled out his chair and sat back down.
"Sorry to burst your bubble kid," He sighed, "but we have to talk about trading before we just give them everything."
Robert turned to Celestia, blissfully unaware of the shit-storm he was just about to ignite with a fan.