Living The Dream

by Kickass222urmom

Back to school

"Go to sleep Lance!" Said Twilight as she watched me pace back and forth at the end of the bed.

I looked at her, but kept moving, "I can't Twi! If I go to sleep, the Poison Joke will take effect!"

She sighed, "Come on Lance, it won't be that bad."

I held up a hoof, "Oh, that's what you think. For all we know, it'll turn me into a mare! Or worst! It may take away my dick!"

She facehoofed and shook her head.

I had been awake for the past two days, not wanting to be affected by the Poison Joke. Once I go to sleep, boom, I'm screwed. I can stay awake for as long as I need.

[*Yawn* Dude, if we don't sleep *Yawn* We're going to have a repeat of the Russian Sleep Experiment.]
<Yeah right, that was fake.>
[... We'll see...]

Twilight exhaled, "Lance, its unhealthy to stay awake this long."

I waved her off, "I'm find. Its not effecting me in anyway."

She tilts her head back and sighed, "You went on a long rant about how the chair in the living room is to hard. You yelled at Zorrow for a whole hour just because he bumped into you. Face it Lance, you need to sleep."

I raised a hoof and made a motion, "Nag nag nag. That's all you do. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Nag isn't here leave a fucking message!"

She glared, "That's it! I didn't want to do this, but you need your sleep!" Her horn began to glow.

[Lets go down like a pro!]

"*Yawn* Bring it! Come at me bro! I'm ready for ya!" I screamed out, standing on my hind legs, forelegs outstretched.

She pointed her horn at me and shot out a small purple beam.

It hit me in the chest and I felt it wash over me, I tried my best to shake it off, "You mad bro?"

*Thud* *Crash*

Twilight shook her head.

I had passed out while standing up and feel backwards, hitting the door and taking it off its hinges.

I opened my eyes and held my head, "My head... Shit..."

I sat up painfully and looked around. It looked to be about morning, early morning probably. I yawned and stretched my wings and legs out.

I jumped off the bed and landed on the floor... why is everything so big?

The bed is bigger than me... what the fuck...

"Whats going on here..." I started to say, but stopped when I heard my voice, "My voice! Why is it so... high?"

I sounded like a little kid, what the fuck!

I galloped over to a mirror and looked at myself. I gasped at what I saw.

I was a colt, a young one. I stretched out my wings and sighed in disappointment. They were just normal wings now, not so special anymore.

[Hahaha, you look like a... Oh fucking damn! My damn voice sounds like a annoying ten year old!]
<... Mine too...>

I hate Poison Joke... I hate it so fucking much!

I looked myself over again and sighed, "I look like a freaking wimp! Look at my legs, they're noodles!"

"Who's there?" I heard Twilight ask from the hallway.

Oh shit...

She walked in and looked around, when her eyes landed on me, she looked shocked. Then, she smirked, "See, I told you it wouldn't be that bad."

My mouth hung open, "I'm a freaking kid!"

She rolled her eyes, "You're not that young. You look like your Apple Bloom's age."

I facehoofed, "That's pretty damn young Twi! How old is she?"

Twilight thought for a second, "I think she's four."

My eye's widened, "Four! That is young!"

She chuckled, "Maybe in your world, but here, once you reach three, you're able to attend school."

I rub my chin, "How?"

She sighed, "You see Lance, ponies here mature very fast. Take Spark for example, he'll be up and talking within a year or so."

"A year... that means, he'll be as mature as a six year old in my world? Damn, they grow up so fast..."

She nodded sadly, "I know, but hey, he'll be around for at least twelve years before he's able to move out and go to collage."

Twelve years of enjoyment with my son... not enough time. "That sucks..."

She nodded, "It does, but hey, we get to watch him grow up."

I smiled, "True, I'm looking forward to it."

Twilight then scratched the back of her head, "Wow, its pretty strange talking to you like this Lance."

I smirked, "It is huh?" I then smiled smugly, "Oh Twi, I want to tie you to the bed and buck you all night long. I want to taste your..."

"Lance!" She screamed out, her face turning red, "Stop it... its creepy when you're a colt."

I laughed, "Wanna fuck a young school boy like myself?"

She glared, "Okay, that's it. I'm going to go to Zecora's and get that potion made for you."

I smiled and trotted past her, "You do that. I'm gonna try and enjoy my day."

Twilight sighed and prepared her teleportation spell.

I raised my head and ran back in, "Wait Twi!"

She stopped and looked at me, "What?"

I did the puppy dog eyes, "Can you send me to Ponyville?"

She sighed, "Yes, but only because it'll put you closer to me."

She then pointed her horn at me and concentrated.

There was a flash and I felt myself surge forward. When everything came into focus, I could see all the ponies around me.

Good, I'm in the center of Ponyville.

"Holy shit, Lance, is that you?!"

I turned and cursed my bad luck.

Peter ran up to me and looked down at me with a smirk, "That's what you get for spying on me and Rarity."

I smirked, "Oh yeah, I actually enjoy this! Besides, Vine did this to me, not you."

He continued to smirk, "Oh yeah? I can do a better prank, watch this."

He leaned down and wrapped his forelegs around my waist and lifted up.

"What are you doing?!" I yelled out.

He chuckled, "You'll see."

Peter then flew forward, holding me tight so I couldn't escape.

He flew for a few minutes until I could see a red building coming up... oh shit! Its the school!

"Peter! Let me the fuck go! Or I swear, I'll make your life a living hell!"

He laughed loudly, "I'll take my chances."

I began to flail around, trying to break his grip. But damn, his pie throwing legs must be strong!

He landed at the door, holding me in one hoof and walked in.

"What's up everypony?" He said with a smirk.

All the filly's and colt's turned towards us. Miss Cherilee looked away from the black board and smiled.

Peter sat me down and rested his hoof on my head, "I got you a new student."

She smiled and walked over and leaned down, "And who might you be?"

[Ow ow! Say your name is Isaac or something awesome!]

"Uhh... I'm... uhhh, I'm Stripes." I stuttered.

[*Facehoof* You freaking idiot! Couldn't have said Isaac, I hate you...]
<Ohhh, I like this name!>
[You would...]

She smiled brightly, "Well Stripes, welcome."

I try to smile, but I'm pissed at Peter for doing this, "Look, I'm not suppose to be here. I'm to old for school."

She and all the other ponies laughed.

One pony, Diamond Tiara, leaned over to her friend, Silver Spoon, "To old for school. Today is going to be fun!"

I glared at them and mouth the words, 'Touch me and I'm going to fuck you up!'

They rolled their eyes and went back to talking.

On the other hand, Miss Cherilee was beaming at me with happiness, "Okay honey, take a seat. There's an open spot next to Blitz."

I looked to the back and saw a Blue colt, a amused look on his face as he looked at me, "No, like I said. I'm not suppose to be here."

Peter gave me a nudge... it was a damn kick! "Go on, enjoy the day Stripy."

I turned and glared, "I hate you!"

He smirked and walked out of the school.

[I so want to kill him!]
<I hate school...>

I shook with anger, but held it down and walked back to the seat I was assigned. I'm going to get him back for this!

Once I was sitting down, Miss Cherilee continued, "Now, like I was saying. When you take 3 and multiple it by X squared, you get..." She looked around the room for a volunteer.

Oh God! Algebra! My one true enemy.

[Luckily, she won't pick the new kid.]

"Aha, how about you Stripes?" She asked, looking at me.

Shit!

<I hate you so much Break!>

I bit my lower lip, "Uhhh, ten?"

Everypony began to laugh.

Miss Cherilee shook her head, "No, that isn't the answer. Anypony else want to try?"

I laid my head down, I hate school.

The pony next to me, Blitz, nudged me.

I looked over and he held out a piece of paper.

I grabbed it and looked at it. It was a crappy drawing of four colts, one on the ground, and the others standing around him. There was a caption, New kid gonna get his flank kicked.

I looked at him and saw that he was smirking. I smirked back and wrote something down on the back of the paper.

After I was done, I handed it back to him, this is what it said:

Dear Blitz,

I hate to inform you, but after today, you won't have any genitals left. The colt Stripes is going to kick your bucking ass and rip off your stallion hood and make you eat it.

The colt who gives no fucks,
Stripes

P.S. Tell your mom I left my pants in her room.

He growled and glared at me, and whispered, "Your dead!"

I smiled, "Bring it bro."

He exhaled and looked to the front of the class.

I sat back and smirked, he's not going to do anything.

I sat there at my desk, my eye twitched every few seconds. I never could sit still, not even for twenty minutes. This was driving me crazy!

Suddenly, a bell rang.

Miss Cherilee looked at the clock and smiled, "Okay everypony, time for lunch."

All the ponies began talking and stood up. They then began walking for the door that lead outside.

I sighed and jumped out of my seat and turned to walk outside... only to run into a filly.

We bounced off each other and I fell back, landing on my haunches.

I rubbed my head and looked up, "Watch where you're going!"

The filly in front of me stood, rubbing her head, "I'm sorry... Ummm, wanna eat lunch with me?"

I eye her up and down.

<Somepony likes you Lance.>
[Oww, you do get the bitch's!]
{Quiet, both of you! I don't think she likes me, may just want to be friends with the strange new kid.}
[Oh my God! Lance, you're doing it again!]
{What again?}
[Remember when we got here, you was all naive to Twilight liking you. You're doing it again!]

I sighed, "Sure... just one problem, I have no food."

She gasped, "No food!" She reached down and picked up a paper bag, "Here, the orphanage always gives us enough food for two."

Orphanage? "You're an orphan?"

She looked saddened, "Yes..."

"What happened to your parents?"

She looked saddened, "I don't want to talk about it..."

I nodded, understanding her pain. I remember when I lost my dad.... Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it! "I'm sorry."

She looked up, "Don't be sorry, its okay." She then put on a fake smile, "My names Little Fawn."

I smiled, "Nice name. Can I just call you Fawn?"

She nodded, a smile on her face, "Yes of course!"

I chuckled and heard my stomach growl. I put a hoof to it and chuckled, "Guess I'm hungry."

She smiled happily and turned, "Come on, let's get a seat and we'll eat."

I followed her outside and through the small crowd of ponies. She sat down at an empty bench and I sat across from her.

She opened the bag and pulled out a few food items: Apples, hay, bread, something I think was jam, and three bottles of something.

She smiled and gave me half of it, "There you go Stripes."

I picked up an apple and took a bite, "Thanks Fawn."

She grinned and began to eat her food.

We sat there in silence for a few seconds before I broke it with a question, "So, what's it like at the orphanage?"

She smiled, but I could sense sadness in her voice, "Oh, its great. They let us go out when ever we want and give us plenty of toys to play with. Its fun, I mean it..."

I shook my head, "I can tell you're not really happy there."

She looked to be holding back tears, "No, I really do love it there... very much. Who needs parents." A single tear rolled down her face.

<Poor kid...>

I reached across and tapped her hoof, trying to comfort her, "Its alright, you'll be adopted soon."

She looked up, tears in her eyes, "No... no I won't! Every time somepony comes there, they just look at me and shake their head. I'm unlovable.."

I felt my heart break. Ponies shouldn't feel like this, they're ponies for crying out loud! "Don't say that, you're not unlovable."

She shook her head, "Yes I am! All the others pick on me because of it, especially Diamond Tiara. She's the worst of them all... I'm a failure.."

Another tug at my heart, plus a little anger. This kid sounds like me when I was younger, "Don't say that, your not a..."

"That's him guys. The one who things he's all big and bad." I heard a familiar voice behind me.

I exhaled and turned, "What the hell do you want?"

Blitz smirked, "Okay tough colt, lets see how tough you really are.'

[FIGHT THEM!]
<Keep your cool Lance, there's a lady in the area.>
{Sorry Break, but I'm going with Dawn on this one.}

I shook my head, a dead stare on my face, "No, I don't want to hurt you three."

They all three laughed, "You hurt us? That's rich! Hardhoof, Butch, grab him."

Butch and Hardhoof smiled and walked forward and pulled me off the bench. They grabbed my forelegs and held them out and made me stand on my hind legs. Exposing my underside.

Blitz walked up, a smug look on his face, "Here, I'll give you a chance. Say your weak and a wimp and we'll let you go."

I looked at him, a blank stare, "Meh, do your worst."

He smiled, "I was hoping you would say that."

Butch's and Hardhoof's grips tightened.

Blitz's slammed his front hoof into my gut, knocking the air out of me. He then spun around and bucked me in the chest, hard.

Butch slammed his free hoof into my face, busting my lip.

Blitz's laughed and bucked me again, right in the groin.

My eyes widened as the sharp searing pain shot through my body.

[Fucking fight Lance!]
<Lance, just let them have their fun. They'll get bored, fighting is never the answer.>

Hardhoof chuckled and brought his hoof upward, hitting me in the chin.

Blitz smiled and walked up, "You had enough colt cuddlier?"

I glared, "That's nothing. You guys don't know what real pain is."

Blitz laughed and looked around, making sure no ponies or teacher had saw this. He then looked back at me and smiled, "I love it when they ask for more."

I heard Fawn scream out, "Leave him alone!"

[Kinda late, don't you think?]

Blitz looked past me and at Fawn, "Shut it you foal!"

I clenched my teeth, "Leave her out of this. Your problem is me, not her."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, "So, your weak point is her? Butch, Hardhoof, make him watch this."

I felt anger boiling up inside me, "Don't you fucking touch..."

Blitz slammed his hoof into my face, followed by a punch from both Butch and Hardhoof.

My vision blurred from the hits and Blitz laughed.

"This is priceless! Make him watch me hurt his filly friend."

He walked past us and began to walk around the bench.

They turned me to face them and I saw Blitz push Fawn.

*Mental snap*

<Forget what I said! Violence is required!>
{Break, Dawn, let's kick some ass!}

I forced myself to concentrate.

*Breaking Dawn mode!*

I growled and tensed my forelegs and pulled them forward. Butch and Hardhoof held tight to my legs, perfect.

When my hooves connected, so did their heads. They bounced off each other, falling to the ground.

Blitz looked at me, "What the!"

I growled angrily and jumped over the bench, propelled by my wings, and slammed into him.

We rolled around till we came to a stop, and I was on top. I glared down and pulled back my hoof, "YOU DO NOT..." I slammed my hoof into his face, causing a small amount of blood to pour from his lip, "HURT FILLY'S!"

I punched him again, causing a little more blood to come out of his mouth.

Before I could hit him again, something grabbed me and pulled me off him.

Butch turned me around and punched me in the chin.

I glared and grabbed his shoulders and slammed my head into his. He staggered back and fell to the ground, unconscious.

I turned and jumped on Blitz, and began to repeatedly hit him.

I stopped and stood, I reached down and pulled him up to my face, "Listen to me and listen good: Don't you ever try and mess with me or anypony else! Got that?!"

He rolled his head lazily.

I shook him violently, "Got that!"

He nodded.

I threw him to the ground, "Good."

I concentrated and forced myself out of Breaking Dawn.

I turned to see Fawn, curled up in a ball.

I bit my lip, shit.

She was trembling slightly.

I began to walk over, but suddenly, something slammed into me.

I flew to the ground and looked up. Fuck! I forgot about Hardhoof!

He galloped over and slammed his hoof into my gut.

He then grabbed my my head and glared, "Listen to me you freak! You're going..."

My eyes caught fire and my hooves turned red, smoke rising from them.

Hardhoof's eyes widened, "What are you?!"

I smiled a corrupted smile, "Your mom!"

[YEAH! ALWAYS TIME TO JOKE!]

I slammed my head into his, then again, and again, till his eyes rolled up in the back of his head.

I dropped him and smiled, easy.

I forced myself out of Raging Breaking Dawn and calmed myself.

Then, I walked over to Fawn and leaned down, "Are you okay?"

She looked up, tears in her eyes, "Yes..."

I stood and looked around. Damn...

All the ponies were standing in a circle around us, looks of horror on their faces. Even Miss Cherilee was frozen in place at what she had just seen.

I bit my lower lip and rubbed my hooves together, "So yeah, that's the main reason why you don't hit filly's."

They all gulped and continued to stare.

Shit.... this is awkward...

"He hurt three other students! One of them can barely talk!" Miss Cherilee yelled as Peter stood there, a worried look on his face.

"Look... I don't really care..." He started.

She held up a hoof, "Hold up, what do you mean you don't care?!"

He gulped, "Because, he's not my kid..."

She glared, "What!"

I smiled, that's what you get Peter.

Ouch... my face is sore. I held a hoof to my face and gently rubbed it.

After a few minutes, the front doors opened.

I looked up and became relieved, thank God! It's Twilight!

She walked over and looked me over, a worried look on her face, "Lance! What happened to you?!"

I chuckled, "Oh you know. Bully hits me, I hit him, his friends gang up on me, I beat them down, and repeat."

She sighed, "You need to stop fighting."

I shrugged, "They started it."

"They did!" I heard Fawn say, who was sitting a few feet away.

Twilight turned to her and smiled, "And who are you?"

Fawn smiled, "I'm Little Fawn... Are you Stripes mom?"

Twilight cocked her head, "Stripes... Oh yes, I guess you could say that."

Fawn smiled, "Its nice to meet you."

I tapped Twilight's shoulder, "Potion?"

Her head snapped up, "Oh yeah! Here you go honey." She levitated a small bottle over to me.

Oh yeah, back to normal here I come.

I put the bottle to my lips and chugged it. Once it was empty, I threw it and said, "Back to normal!"

A few seconds passed, then a minute, "Ummm, Twi, why am I still a colt?"

She looked very worried now, "Oh no... Lance, how big was the Poison Joke Vinetion gave you?"

I thought for a second, "Pretty big. It had a few purple and red dots on it and it had a single green leaf."

Her mouth hung open, "Oh no... OH NO!"

"What?! What is it?!"

She gulped, "Lance... That was a more advanced type of Poison Joke.... It's effects last a month... or forever."

My eyes widened, "NO! That can't be!"

Fawn looked at us, "What's going on?"

Miss Cherilee walked in, a glare on her face, "Yes, what is going on?"

Peter followed behind her, his ears down.

Twilight gulped, "I think we have a major problem."

I bit my hoof, "I'm so screwed!"

Miss Cherilee glared at me, "Watch your language!"

Twilight's horn began to glow and it encased me and her. Second's later, we appeared in our room at Dali's.

Twilight ran over to a book and began flipping through the pages, "There has to be something here to help us!"

I, on the other hand, was freaking out.

This can't be! I have a kid to take care of! I can't be a kid also!

[Oh my God! I'm going to kill Vinetion!]
<The universe hates us!>

I heard Twilight gasp.

I looked over there, "What is it!"

She turned, a tear in her eye, "There's no known cure..."

"What are we going to do?"

She looked down, "Hope... All we can do is hope that this ends in a month..."

I fell to my haunches, "It better, I hate this body... and school..."

Twilight walked over and sat down in front of me. She then wrapped her hooves around me and pulled me into a hug, "It's going to be okay Lance. I promise."

I smiled and rubbed my face into her neck, "Thanks Twi, you always know how to cheer me up."

She leaned back and smirked, "So, who was the girl?"

I smiled, "What, you jealous of her?"

Her eye's widened, "NO! I mean, no, I'm just curious."

I chuckled and pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek, "Don't worry, you're the only mare in my life."

She returned my hug, "I know..." She then backed up, "Like I said earlier, this is strange with you being so young."

I laughed.

She then smiled smugly, "No sex."

My mouth hung open, "Wha?! How about a bedtime story!" I said with a smirk.

She shook her, "Nope, no bedtime story either."

I sighed, "Well damn, there goes my fun at night."

She chuckled and stood.

I stood also and looked out the window, "What time is it Twi?"

She looked at the clock, "12:57, why do you ask?"

I smiled, "Oh no reason. Just wanted to do a few things. Can you send me back to Ponyville? You kinda took me out of school."

She raised an eyebrow, "You want to go back to school?"

I shrugged, "No, but I have to. There's a few things I need to do."

She sighed, "Fine."

I kissed her cheek, "Thanks."

She giggled, "Still creepy."

I waved her off, "You like it."

She rolled her eyes playfully and charged her magic.

Seconds later, I was standing in the class room. All the ponies in the room looked at me, a mixture of fear and respect on their faces.

I smiled awkwardly, "And that's how Equestria was made..."

They all looked at me strangely, a few laughed, a few shook their heads.

Miss Cherilee glared at me, "Stripes, take your seat. Now."

I nodded and walked down the roll of seats, but stopped for a second at one. A seat owned by a filly, Diamond Tiara.

I glared at her, "Leave Fawn alone, got that?"

She smiled smugly and stuck her tongue out.

I smiled, "I'll pull that tongue of yours off and make you eat it."

Her eyes widened, but she kept up her act.

I rolled my eyes and continued to my seat.

Once there, I looked over at Blitz.

His face was swollen and purple, and he had dried blood on his cheeks.

I chuckled, "How you doing Blitzy?"

He turned towards me and glared at me with hate filled eyes.

I smiled and looked to the front. Hey, if I'm going to be a kid, might as well enjoy it.