"So, what is this place exactly?" Mary Sue asked, looking around the shadow-filled hallway. There was a strange buzz in the air and every time she took a breath she tasted an eccentric mix of copper and rose petals.
"This is the Vanishing Point," the Doctor stated. Adult-Dinky was leading the way with Derpy and Little-Dinky placed between the Doctor and Mary Sue. The gray pegasus was looking about, 'ooooing' and 'aaaahhhhing' every so often. Dinky, for her part, was happily trying to convince her future self to spill the beans about their shared history. "Travelers of Space and Time meet here when dangers to all of reality rear their ugly heads."
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy!" Dinky chirped.
"You are thinking of Mos Eisly," Adult-Dinky said.
"I am? Ok."
The Doctor nodded. "The Vanishing Point exists at the very edge of time, seated just one second before all of reality succumbs to entropy."
"Are you sure we aren't in Neigh Jersey?" Derpy asked. "It kinda looks like Neigh Jersey."
"It looks nothing like Neigh Jersey," Mary Sue stated.
Derpy shrugged. "How am I supposed to know that? I've never been to Neigh Jersey."
Mary, having long grown use to Derpy and her way of thinking, merely sighed and turned her attention back to the Doctor. "What should we expect?"
"Oh, nothing to wild," The Doctor said. "These are time travelers, just like me!"
"...so we're going to die then," Mary Sue said dryly.
"Why are you scared?" Derpy asked. "Doesn't your MarySueness protect you from peril?"
"Not really," Wall Breaker said, appearing out of thin air before them "See, while she represents Mary Sues she's not actually a Mary Sue. She is not the star of this fic, she's not all powerful... when you think about it, the only thing that makes her a 'Mary Sue' is being an alicorn and even then it’s been established in this story that there are many different deities running around. Heck, if one wants to get really technical, defender2222 has rescued Mary from the Scrappy Pile and actually made her a fleshed out character-"
"Breaker," defender2222 said, appearing before the group, "I am trying to write a cold open here."
"Oh, sorry boss!"
The author crossed his arms over his chest and gave a nod and a blink, warping him and Wall Breaker out of the Vanishing Point.
"... I swear, I don't even understand what is going on anymore," Mary said.
"Well, prepare to be more confused," Adult-Dinky said, keying in a code on a keypad next to a large red door. There was a quiet ding and the door opened up, revealing a wide array of ponies mulling about the room, talking to each other. Derpy and Dinky made a bee-line for the buffet table (which was loaded with muffins, cakes, cookies, and other goodies) while Mary, the Doctor and Adult Dinky were approached by a stallion in a yellow and blue super suit; a small robot hovered just over his shoulder.
"Good, you're here!" Booster Gold said with a grin. "We can finally get started." He motioned for every to take their seats, Derpy being the last to sit down (as her hooves were barely holding onto all the muffins she'd nabbed). "Let's get the introductions out of the way. I am Booster Gold and this is my hetreo-lifemate Blue Beetle."
"Stop saying that," the tan earth pony (who was dressed in a blue super suit of his own) said with a roll of his eyes.
"To my left is Doc Brown."
"GREAT SCOTT!" the brown stallion exclaimed, his white mane (which stuck up in all directions, making it look like he’d stuck his hoof in an electric socket) shaking as he shook his head.
"This is Pip and Mr. Peabody," Booster said, pointing to the white and brown colt and the white dog that sat beside him.
"Hello there," Mr. Peabody said.
"DEMON DOG!" Derpy screamed. "HIDE THE MUFFINS!" Her and Dinky ran away from the table, trying to find a place to protect the precious bake goods.
Booster continued on as the Doctor attempted to calm his wife down. "This is Dr. Sam Beckett, who is currently wearing Rainbow Dash's body."
"I was wondering why she was here," Mary Sue said.
"And this is Come&Go-Me."
The white unicorn teen (who was dressed in a schoolfilly's uniform) bowed. "Hello, honorable Doctor-san. I hope this does not take long, as I must return to my friend/potential love interest Inuponysha, who lives in the past, so we may find the Jewel of-"
"No one cares," Mary said bluntly (she never had been a fan of anime). "Alright, now that Derpy is calmed down... what the hell is going on and why are we here?"
Booster leaned forward, letting his eyes rove the room. "Mares and gentlecolts... we have detected a ripple in time that threatens all of existence. If we do not work together, the fabric of all realities will be torn asunder worse than Tom Cruise’s sanity." Booster's robot pal Skeets clicked on a holographic display. "We have zeroed in on the source of this disturbance."
The time travelers stared at an image of Twilight Sparkle.
"I knew her getting those wings would ruin everything," Mary grumped.
The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted
Episode 23: Memories of a Sun Goddess
Luna looked around the crowded deck, a single eyebrow raised in confusion. The pirates were all dressed in their Sunday finest (which was actually finer than most ponies' Sunday finest), chatting quietly to each other as they dipped their spoons into their cream of wheat. To one side there was a table loaded down with gifts and next to that was a 5 tier wedding cake that featured a little plastic Captain Whiplash standing next to a plastic Zeena.
"So... I just want to make sure I have this straight," Luna said, turning towards the happy couple. Celestia was to her right and Cadence to her left, with Shining and Tydal seated just past her with Giggles firmly placed between them. The zebra filly would glance at her father every once and a while (who didn’t even notice she was there) but Tydal was quick to draw her attention back to him... when he wasn't shooting death glares at his sister. Chrysalis was seated on Celestia's other side, happily sucking up the love the couple was giving off.
"So do I," the changeling queen interrupted. "First, who was your wedding planner because they should be fired. An ocean themed wedding is so last year. My wedding was much better."
"You mean the one where you brainwashed the groom?" Celestia asked. "Yes... yes, that did have a lovely quality to it."
"Said groom is right over here," Shining complained.
Cadence sighed. "I remember that wedding... it was so lovely. I didn’t get to see most of it, but what little I did…it was just so magical!" She reached over and began to trail her hoof along the tablecloth. "I wish my wedding had been like that."
"It... was your wedding," Shining said slowly. "Chrysalis kidnapped you, remember?"
Tydal's brow furrowed. "Why would Chryssy force Cadence to go to bed?"
"What?" Shining said. "She didn't do that... she locked her up in a cell-"
"OH!" Tydal exclaimed. "I see... in my domain kid-napped means to make a kid take a nap. You were referring to foalnapping."
"What do you call it when a kid is taken?" Cadence asked.
"Doesn't happen," Tydal said bluntly.
Celestia smirked. "Because you personally threatened to torture any foalnappers for 100 years."
"Speaking of kidnapping/foalnapping," Luna said, wanting to get back on point, "could somepony explain WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!"
"Shhh!" Zeena hissed. "This is a fancy wedding, baby sister."
"They... kidnapped... you."
"Foalnapped," Tydal muttered under his breath.
Whiplash nodded. "Ar, I understand what perplexes ya, lassie! You are wonderin' why we performed such an elaborate hoax! Ya see, we knew that the zebras would never accept me, due to their issues..."
"You... are... a... pirate," Luna said slowly.
“And a murderer,” Tydal snapped, wrapping a foreleg around Giggles.
Zeena smiled and nuzzled Whiplash. "I do love the bad boys."
Celestia gave the couple a sour look. "I think we are just going to leave now."
"You aren't saying for cake?" Zeena asked.
"No thanks," Luna said, standing up with the rest of the group.
"Abandonin' yar mission half way through... should have know." Whiplash rolled his eyes. "That be what ya'll are best at."
"Excuse me?" Tydal said in annoyance.
Zeena waved him off. "Come now, baby brother, don't be like that. You have to admit you all are quite flighty."
"Flighty?" Celestia said, her right eyelid twitching.
Zeena, once again proving that she made horrible choices, pressed on. "Of course. You six are so silly and spastic, leaping around from place to place... it really is quite goofy, when you think of it."
Shining looked up, swallowing hard. "Uh, the sun looks awfully bright at the moment..."
Celesta merely strode over to Whiplash and Zeena, her eyes glowing like lava pools. "I... am flighty. You two... one minute you are welcoming us the next you are threatening Shining Armor! You abuse that poor filly because her father committed a crime... then marry that very stallion?!?"
Zeena sniffed dismissively. "I couldn't hope for you to understand, little sister. Our lives are so full of hardship that we are required to make hard choices... and when given the chance for happiness we seize it. Not all of us can dance around the world on some whirlwind vacation."
Tydal began to back away, Giggles blinking in confusion as he quickly added his own protection spells on top of Shining's. "Captain Armor, get everyone to the boat... now."
Chrysalis looked up at the sky, which was losing its blue tint as the sun began to burn hotter. "This is bad, isn't it?"
"Very," Luna said nervously.
Celestia's mane began to sizzle as she glared at the married couple. "You... you think my life is easy? You think it has been all fun and games? I have been around for a VERY long time... and yes, there have been many wonderful times. But I have seen bad things... terrible things... things that would haunt your nightmares and leave you curled in a corner, sobbing and begging for death. I have awoken in the middle of the night to hear the bang of war drums and the calls for my death. I have seen horrors from Tartarus rise up from the pit and been forced to stare them in the eye as no other was brave enough to do so. I have seen towns rise and I have seen them wiped away. I watched my little ponies suffer and die and been unable to answer the simple question of 'why'.
"I have walked lands that were twisted by Discord himself! I have witnessed our brother's madness and sent good, innocent ponies to face that beast knowing they stood little chance against him. I saw the most caring, loving ponies to ever exist be systematically brainwashed by their own king until their entire empire was wisked away, lost to the world for centuries.
"I felt the pain of my student... my Twilight... when I failed to believe her and knew the crushing weight of guilt when my sins against her and my niece were laid before me. I ate crow and tasted the bitter spice known as hubris. I watched as a mind-raping fiend nearly destroyed my entire kingdom... I was helpless, defeated, imprisoned."
Celestia was crying now and the sun fought with the sudden rainfall that had been summoned by the day goddess' misery. Her friends and family stood to one side, horrified and captivated as they listened to all the pain Celestia held inside, wondering how she had managed to contain it for so long.
The sun princess looked over at Tydal and Luna and nearly broke down. "I... watched my brother... my teacher... my father ... laugh in the face of death. He gave up his life for a country that he hated and that hated him... purely because I needed him. He turned on his own brother and endured the full brunt of the elements of harmony just to see me and my sister survive. And what was his reward? To awake 1,500 years later to find that his sacrifice was not remembered and ponykind looked upon him and his ways as outdated. He should demand worship from them all but he doesn't because he doesn't care... all that matters to him is that his little girls are happy.
"I... I failed my sister too. I allowed my grief and my duty to override my common sense. It blinded me... until darkness was not just before my eyes but all that lived. It was never her fault that she fell... it was mine and mine alone. I failed her... not only in preventing her from becoming the very thing she hated... but for being unable to find a way to save her. I had to look up at the night sky for a thousand years and know that she was looking back down at me, still filled with rage and hate. I look at her and our father and all I can see is the years we all lost because of MY failure!
"You think my life is so wonderful? You think it is perfect? You want to trade? Ok then! Take it! Take all the bad! All the pain! All the suffering! Have it all! Take it! Take it, you hear me! TAKE IT!"
Celestia panted, emotionally drained from her outburst. Captain Whiplash and Zeena looked at each other, then down at their plates. Celestia's family moved to stand with her, Luna nuzzling her big sister while Tydal grit his teeth so hard it was a wonder they didn't shatter.
"Well lass," Whiplash finally said, "only one thing a bloke like me can say ta somethin' like that."
"Yes?" Celestia said softly.
"FOOD FIGHT!"
The pirates grabbed cakes and cookies from the dessert table and began to hurl it at each other. Zeena and Whiplash began to playfully smash each others faces into the chocolate fountain that was set up while the Tropespouter's first mate grabbed a bottle of champagne and sprayed it over everyone.
Celestia narrowed her eyes. "Let's get the hell-"
SPLAT!
The solar princess blinked, her face covered in cake. A glop of frosting dripped off her horn and landed on the deck, joining all the other food bits that were slowly turning the deck into a slippery mess. Shining quickly threw up a shield, smiling weakly as he realized he should have done that 30 seconds ago.
"-out of here," Celestia grumbled, ripping off the fake beard she had been wearing for her costume and tossing it to the ground.
"That is the worst foodplay I've ever seen," Cadence said in disgust as they swung back over to their ship. "What's the point of covering yourself in whip cream if you aren't going to have Shining lick it off?"
Chrysalis walked over to Celestia, who was brooding near the wheel. "I know you and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye, what with me trying to invade your kingdom and defeating you in battle and imprisoned you in that gooey pod..."
"I hope there is a point to all of this," Celestia said dryly.
"Yes, there is; you've had some bad in your life, sure... but you've always had a ton of good. Tydal is alive. Your sister is alive. You have a family that loves you..." Chrysalis looked off to the side and mumbled, "including me..." She quickly looked up to see Celestia smirking. "I am completely sure that was only because of Whiplash's magic."
"Sure it was, little sister," Celestia said with a smile.
Chrysalis shifted uneasily. While her kind fed on love they were not use to receiving it directly and the warm, mushy feelings that were filling her veins made her feel rather awkward.
She was saved by, of all things, Giggles, who happily trotted up to Celestia and tugged on her coat. "Dada?" she asked.
Celestia leaned down, her voice calm and gentle. Her early pain was forgotten as she focused on the child before her. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but he stayed on the boat with Zeena."
Giggles crinkled her nose and shook her head. "Not dat dada!" She then reared back, baring her teeth. "Rawr!"
"...I'm sorry, I don't understand."
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "She is referring to Tydal."
"Dada!" Giggles proclaimed happily. "Rawr!"
The sun goddess let out a laugh. "Leave it to my brother to adopt an orphaned zebra filly." She looked around the deck, a frown marring her features. "Where is Tydal... and Luna for that matter."
"Oh, I am sure they are around somewhere," Shining said. "It’s not like they are in the crow's nest, using their godly powers to strand the Tropesprouter on some rocky island and then covering said island in eternal darkness as punishment for making you cry."
"... I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or sneaky," Celestia said.
Shining shrugged, turning his attention instead of Giggles, who was still mimicking Tydal. "Hey there, cutie!"
"Rawr!" Giggles said with a laugh, wiggling her tail like Tydal did.
Cadence watched her husband play with the filly and sighed happily. "I want one."
Luna and Tydal leapt down from the rigging and joined the rest of their group. "Well," Luna said, addressing her family, "now that we have all of that taken care of, I say we we continue around the top of Zebrica and make for the Mareatine... and home."
Celestia nodded. "I bet everypony is waiting for us to hurry and get home!"
~Meanwhile, on a Rock Farm outside of Ponyville...~
"Ankle twitch..." Clyde Pie said, his eyes half closed. "Floppy ears... ache in the knee... and a head bob?" He swallowed, looking around nervously.
"What is it, pa?" Inkie Pie asked her dad.
Clyde shuddered. "Crazy highjinxes... are coming."