Octobor 7, 2010
Fujiwara Kaito walked through the streets of Tokyo holding a strange device and an umbrella. He didn't really draw that much attention; these people had been seen much stranger things.
The device Fujiwara was holding was one of his own creation; it was an anomaly detector. Basically, when making it, he just asked his friends about the strangest physical/electrical/chemical occurrences that could happen in semi-rare cases, and - based off of their information - he built a device. Any one phenomena wouldn't be very useful for detecting anything interesting, but when combined...
Suddenly, his detector started beeping. There were 3- no, 5- no 7 different signals being detected at once, and they were getting stronger. It seemed to be in the direction of a nearby alleyway.
The alley was kind of small and cramped, and filled with random things... and it looked somewhat foreboding, even though it was day time. He decided to enter anyway.
The beeping got louder... and then it quieted down. Fujiwara stopped and turned around. The beeping got louder again, and then started quieting down. Eventually, He stopped where it was loudest.
Fujiwara waived the device around in the air. It seemed to be be the loudest when pointed at the wall... but there wasn't anything th-
Then he saw it. It wasn't larger than a single human hair, but it was there. Sunlight was coming out through a crack in the ground. Either there was some strange experiment going on under this alley, or... well, maybe it was a portal?
Fujiwara hurriedly yanked his wallet out of his pocket and grabbed a card that he wouldn't mind bending. He inserted it into the crack, and turned. Yes! The crack started widening, wide enough to slip a finger into, then a hand, then two hands. Finally, he could fit his head and shoulders through.
Fujiwara looked around... he saw... white. White tiles, White walls, white ceilings, a nice view of white clouds in a beautiful sky, a white unicorn-pegasus... Holy crap a unicorn-pegasus!
Fujiwara panicked, falling out of Celestia's wall and onto her floor.
Robert Anton finished his work at the auto-shop and went home. He was pissed about his manager: apparently he did great work, but he was too rude to the customers, which is why he got another warning. He wasn't the one who deserved the warning! It was the customer that deserved one! And he gave him one! He should be rewarded!
He sighed. People in general were just stupid. The US government was terrible, the education system was terrible, other people were terr-
*WHAM*
And apparently his driveway was terrible too.
Robert shoved the door open and walked to where his car had sunk into the ground.
"What the..." Robert looked at the tire that appeared to have sunken into the earth. He walked back into his car and got out his crank shaft.
He lifted the car up, moved it over, and drove around the hole.
Later that night, Robert took out his garbage to the driveway so the garbage man could pick it up. It was at that moment that he slipped and fell into the mysterious hole.
Celestia stomped on her throne and ground her teeth in rage. How dare twilight write that! She appreciated help, and she loved criticism, but EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of how she ruled couldn't be wrong! Worse, Twilight seemed to have been having fun pointing out all of her flaws! Month, after month, after month...
Celestia ground her teeth harder and accidentally let out a powerful burst of magic in her rage.
She looked around, surprised and saddened at the destruction of her room.She was also very tired... Strange, she shouldn't be tired from such a small burst of magic... She inspected herself again. Yup, she was completely worn out... wasn't that spell just a blast of anger? Going back to it, it felt completely nor-
"OIFHSF!" A creature slid out of Celestia's wall and onto her floor.
"FFFFUUUUU!" A similar creature fell through her ceiling and almost landed headfirst into her floor. Thankfully she caught the thing with her magic.
Celestia walked over to the thing she caught and turned it over. Oh! It had a face!
"What... the... fuck?" It squinted
Celestia turned her head... it appeared to be speaking Equestrian... well, except for the last word.
"You speak Equestrian?" She asked.
"I speak English... horse." The thing tilted it's head back at her.
Celestia cringed, "Princess Celestia if you please,"
"White Horse." Robert decided on a better name.
Celestia ignored him, "...and welcome to Equestria. I'm not entirely sure how you got here, but-"
At that moment, Robert realized what was happening. He was dreaming! Of course! He slipped and hit his head while taking out the garbage, and was now in some dream while someone called the ambulance... he would have to pay medical bills later... Oh well, might as well make it a good dream.
Robert slapped Celestia in the face, right in the middle of her introduction. Ha! Take that Royalty! Only a tyrant would wear so much gold! Oh god and it wasn't even covering most of her horse body. She was probably some sort of temptress horse queen.
"W- What the fuck are you doing!?" A stunned voice with a Japanese accent said off in the distance. Celestia felt inclined to agree with the voice as she backed away from the creature and dropped it with a look of disgust and confusion on her face.
Robert looked over to the voice and smirked. "Ha! Wanna fight prissy pants? Cause this is my dream!"
"This isn't a dream you idiot!" Fujiwara yelled back while running between Celestia and Robert. He turned back to Celestia, "Sorry about this guy, he's probably had a bad day, and is taking it out on what he thinks his dreams are."
Celestia let out a calming breath, "Don't worry, I too am shocked by the suddenness of-"
*slap*
Fujiwara turned back. He didn't like being touched, especially by strangers. And he was talking to the leader of an unknown planet. He was not going to be interrupted by this fucktard.
"Do that again," Fujiwara narrowed his eyes, "I dare you."
*slap*
...
"Ho ho ho! What are you gonna do about it, pu-"
"STOP!" Celestia yelled in the royal Canterlot voice, pulling the group apart with her magic. "Do you creatures always solve your problems with violence?" She asked the two humans, holding them in the air, away from each other.
"No!" Fujiwara was hurt.
"What are you, my mom?" Robert asked, "Get out of my dream, horse mom."
"You're not in a dream, idiot." Fujiwara strained his body to look at Robert, "This goes WAY past the pinch test!"
"That's just a myth, dumbass!" Robert strained his body to turn as well, "Plenty of people have felt pain in their dreams!"
"...Quiet..." Celestia tried to interrupt. Normally this would be more than enough to petrify any sane pony.
"No they didn't!" Fujiwara tried to throw his arms up.
"Prove that they didn't!" Robert grinned.
"Quiet!" Celestia failed once more at interrupting.
"What!? No. Fuck you." Fujiwara pointed his finger at Robert, albeit with much effort. "This is the first time humanity meets an alien species, and you SLAP THEIR LEADER IN THE FACE!"
"Well yeah!" Robert shouted "Now they know to stay away from-"
"QUIET!" Celestia used the royal Canterlot voice for the second time that day, "It may be my fault that you two creatures are here, so I am responsible for both of you. So please, introduce yourself like polite..." She looked over the creatures... "Whatever you are, and let's talk about where you're staying before I gather the strength to send you back home!"
Robert wanted to add in one more comment, but once he looked into White Horse's eyes, he knew he was not in a dream.
"But what if I want to stay longer?" Fujiwara asked, sad but hopeful.
