//------------------------------// // Wishfulfillment, everpony has it. // Story: Battle of the Blanks // by HumanSVD //------------------------------// Discord was mad, very mad in fact as the feeling of rage and disappointment was very rare to the Draconequus. The only time he could remember being truly angry and disappointed was the time Princess Celestia and Luna defeated him using the Elements of Harmony and again when her student and friends defeated him after the wonderful and clever obstacles he threw in their faces. His plan to use the human as a means of manipulating Princess Luna and as a personal student of Chaos as an analogue to Celestia’s Student of Friendship was no longer possible. The powerful chaotic being heard the thoughts of Konrad fighting the Blood Hooves, and heard him mention some of the strangest things ever. It was all the more to convince him that this human was indeed the right guy for the job, with his unknown and confusing human references, whatever they meant. Discord especially enjoyed the toying the human had pulled on the dull and dreadful minded Blood Hooves so much he almost wished that it wouldn’t stop. But all good things come to end as Discord knew that to be a fact, but having the human disappear from existence was not what he was expecting. He had hoped that Konrad would dig himself into a deeper hole by constantly angering Princess Celestia and to his delight Konrad kept doing all the right things to anger the Alicorn Princess. And when he heard the Elements being used on Konrad to turn him to stone, Discord was practically cheering like a fanatic hoof ball fan, waving flags, and spilling imaginary soda all over his imaginary sofa. Having Konrad turned to stone and being placed in close proximity would have allowed Discord to fully communicate with Konrad despite being in separate stone prisons. “And with nowhere to go, he would have caved into peer pressure since I would have had all the time in Equestria to break his resistance down one day at a time. But NOOO, he HAD to be obliterated from existence! He must have been very chaotic indeed for that to happen. That’s…that’s just not right! Where’s my turn to have a student!?” Snapping away his hoof ball items and snacks, Discord simply laid on the sofa and tried to reflect on the recent events. The Chaotic Lord began to mourn the lost opportunity of a lifetime as he wished to know why and how a made up being called a human could even exist in the first place. To the best of his knowledge, it was just something that an ancient pony made up long ago to become a famous story teller. “I was going to have so much fun using him to troll everypony and manipulate Luna! Equestria would have been mine, and nopony would have been wiser! It would have been a great corruption of Celestia’s sister, even better than that silly Nightmare Night gig she had! And I would have had much fun showing her parents the wedding and everything! Speaking of which, should I tell them?” With snap of his paw, both King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia appeared in their plushy form, with a cute look of irritation on their faces. “Awww, does somepony want to go back to sleep? Or would you like a nice update instead?” The Royal Plushie Prisoners simply gave a look of “get it over with” before Discord smiled. Telling truth and having their spirits up would make him feel even more disappointed, and the Draconequus knew what he was going to do. He was going to lie and make them feel angry. “Good news! Your eldest daughter has found the location of the secret Blood Hoof base and has laid waste to the zombie scum! How does that make you feel?” Both the King and Queen looked at Discord with a skeptical look which caused Discord to laugh in amusement. “I assure both of you that I’m telling the truth. I know it’s hard to believe but it is indeed true, you’re eldest daughter has indeed laid waste to the horde of zombie ponies, and your precious widdle woona is safe too. That is indeed the truth.” Both the King and Queen looked at each other with a smile of relief knowing that their daughters were safe and sound as the potential loss of any parent’s child would be the worst feeling in the world. Discord enjoyed the sight of them thinking that everything was alright, and he was going to enjoy the next step in making him feel better. “But...” said Discord holding up one of his claws“…there’s just one other detail.” The King and Queen Plushies looked at the Draconequus with dread in their eyes. They knew that anything coming from Discord always had a catch or a detail that would make any wonderful news to sour in an instant. Discord began to smile at the fib he was about to tell, and began to guess how the Royal stuffed toys would react. “And that detail is…your eldest sweet Celestia approves of Luna’s love interest!” Both King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia looked like they had pooped in their own foal diapers and Discord was enjoying every minute of it. At first he was going to guess they would scowl at an instant but he was much happier at the look of shock instead. Both the King and Queen did nothing for a straight 30 seconds, trying their best to comprehend that their eldest and most responsible daughter would even approve of such a strange union of two species. Granted they weren’t engaged, but having their oldest daughter approve of such a relationship with a commoner and a non-pony at that, was something they couldn’t believe. And what made it even more satisfying for Discord was that they fully believed him. He couldn’t blame them though as having no interaction with the outside world, missing the life of their daughters while they remained his play toys was no doubt hard for anypony. Any news from the outside world, real or not was something they would accept no questions asked, not that they had that option though. As far as Discord was concerned, that was not his problem, and if he was going to languish in his stone prison, he would at least entertain himself until the next opportunity. Both the King and Queen began to slowly turn into a scowl at the thought of their daughter carrying on with a commoner that was a human. Sure they already knew about it but they had hoped their eldest daughter would have stopped such a thing. Celestia was always the calm and rational one while Luna tended to have quite the temper when she didn’t get what she wanted sometimes. And for them to hear that Celestia not only didn’t stop it but approved of it set them off. It set them off so much that red hot fire began to surround them, catching their plushy forms on fire. Of course the fire wasn’t real as it was nothing more than a reflection on their emotions in a very colorful and visual manner. Discord merely gave his award winning maniacal laugh before saying, “Well, somepony has lost their temper! I think you too need a nap, or should I say….sweet wuvy cuddle time? It’s close to you anniversary if I’m correct right?” The fire ceased around the Royal Plushies as they both looked at Discord with a not amused look on their faces. Discord laughed before saying, “Oh that’s just priceless! You should see the look on your faces! Hahahahah! Oh don’t be like that, you two deserve some special time together! Allow me.” With a snap of his paw, a table full of breadsticks and wine appeared before them with a set of roses in a vase in the center. There was also a set of red candles in the shape of tiny hearts floating above the Roses, creating a very cheesy yet romantic scene before them. Both the King and Queen looked at Discord with great annoyance before the Chaotic Lord responded, “Hey, you guys deserve a little break from me and besides, it will give you two a time to chat over how wonderful your daughter’s future marriage will be…and that is SO going to happen.” King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia went into flames of pure anger before Discord snapped his claw, making them disappear from his view. “Oh their love for each other is just as bright as ever! It’s a shame that Konrad isn’t alive, I never would have figured that the Elements of Harmony would destroy an individual. Maybe there is something that can explain this…doesn’t matter, the opportunity to have an apprentice and take over the throne in a fun way is gone. I wonder if he was going to say he chose that Ghost over Princess Luna? He’d have been an idiot to choose her over Luna since she really doesn’t have anything to offer him. Oh well, he probably was just being nice to her in the end. If he was alive, I’m sure he’d pull for Team Luna. Now what am I going to do now? Already played with the King and Queen, what else is there to do?” Discord laid back on his couch and simply began to hum to himself, pondering what to do next. Discord smiled as he realized something, “He isn’t dead, he can’t be dead. The Elements of Harmony would never do that and neither would Celestia kill him unless she absolutely had too. No…something happened and he’s merely just on the sideline for now. Yeah, that’s got to be it. I got a feeling I’ll hear him again soon enough…all in due time…all in due time…” And Discord sat there with a smile on his face as he realized he had all the time in the world for Konrad to reappear. And when he did meet Konrad, Discord had no doubt that it would be the beginning of a new “friendship” indeed. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyra was still sleeping with her tail happily moving and ears twitching, as she dreamed about the hot human zombie killer. Everything was bucking awesome until more and more of the Blood Hooves appeared out of nowhere in the dream. The human kept using his weapon as Lyra, who was now wearing a uniform of her own, began frantically using her best offensive spells, which were pretty weak, even for a mare’s standards. Most of the Stallion Unicorns were more natural at offensive spells, but there were quite a few mares that were just as good. If that was the case, she would never have been taken hostage by the changelings in Canterlot. Unfortunately, Lyra wasn’t one of those in both the dream and the real world and she watched in vain as her lover/fighting partner kept fighting them off only to have one take its place. Eventually his weapon ceased to function and he began to frantically punch and kick numerous Blood Hooves off. Lyra tried to help but her horn gave out and she was too tired to even stand on her legs. The worst part came when he screamed and was now covered by the Blood Hooves until he was silent. Lyra cried as she saw the human meet his gruesome end, but looked in fear as the Blood Hooves ceased their feast on the human. The crowd of Blood Hooves parted away from the human and before her eyes was the human himself. Instead of the calm blue eyes that he had in her dream, they were now glowing red, with grey skin and numerous bite marks were all over him. His teeth were bloody as he smiled at her, causing Lyra to panic. She tried to get up was but too exhausted from using her magic. He began to step towards her moaning like a true zombie as his red eyes were fixated on hers. “No please don’t! Your my man, you’d never hurt me! We can find a way to fix this, please NOOO AAAAHHHH!!!” Lyra screamed as the human zombie grabbed her and shook her rapidly about. She continued to scream and kick to get away from him until he opened his bloody mouth and said, “LYRA WAKE UP! Breakfast is ready and stop kicking around!” Lyra stopped kicking around and was confused at why her man was speaking with Bon Bon’s voice until everything faded away. The sight before her was not a human zombie, but an annoyed Bon Bon whose mane was no longer a mess as it was earlier. Lyra smiled at Bon Bon in embarrassment and said, “Heh, sorry about that Bon Bon…I was having a-“ “Let me guess Nightmare about the human turning into a zombie.” Lyra gave Bon Bon a confused look and asked, “How’d you-“ “Know? You were screaming about the human, not hard to figure out what goes on in your head when you’re saying it. And when you’ve been talking about humans a lot lately, it’s not hard to put two and two together.” “Ah…well okay then that answers my question then…wait you said Breakfast?!” “Yeah, I made some Oatmeal and left the sugar bowl nearby. Try not to go Pinkie Pie with it like last time. That sugar binge you went on while you wrote that story of yours gave me some concern about your health. I swear I’ve never seen you twitch like that before.” Lyra got out of her bed and walked over to her desk where her mane brush was. Using her magic, the brush was enveloped her family’s common magic gold colored hue and began to brush the disheveled mane into her typical mane style. Looking at Bon Bon with the mirror’s reflection of her friend, Lyra blushed and said, “Yeah, I’m not doing that again. I’ve never fallen asleep on my desk before after that rush died down…well that’s a lie, I haven’t done that since school actually.” “Speaking of school, I noticed you’ve been asking some of the foals about a certain subject that Cheerilee is teaching. Anything you want to tell me?” Lyra’s eyes widened for a split second before she casually continued brushing her mane and said, “Nah, nothing at all. Why?” Narrowing her eyes, Bon Bon merely said in a tone similar to what her own parents did when she was in trouble as a filly. “Lyra…” “I didn’t do anything.” denied Lyra. Bon Bon merely narrowed her eyes at Lyra again through the mirror before saying, “Lyyyraa…” “Ponyfeathers! She’s onto me! I need pull my award winning charm!” Looking back at Bon Bon through the mirror, Lyra smiled and said, “BoooOOON BON! It’s fun stretching out names isn’t it?” Bon Bon face hoofed before saying, “Look Lyra, I know you’ve been asking some foals for their books on humans. I’m really worried about your obsession with this fandom.” Lyra put her mane brush down and turned around to face her friend. There was no way she was letting her friend call her enjoyment of the human fandom an obsession or anything negative. “Obsession? Bon Bon, what I have is a hobby, nothing more. Sure you’re right I might have been spending a little too much time with it, but I’m not dropping it anytime soon. I’m not hurting anypony and I don’t see the real need to.” “A little?” Lowering her ears a bit while looking at the ground, Lyra replied, “Okay…maybe more than a little.” “Just maybe?” “Okay fine! More than I should have but still, I’m not getting rid of it anytime soon! Besides, you remember the deal from last night right?” Waving a hoof in dismissal, Bon Bon replied, “Yeah I do. It’s not going to happen Lyra-“ Without warning, Lyra ran over to Bon Bon and used her fore legs to grab Bon Bon and shook her about, taking the cream colored mare by surprise. “What?! You promised! You said you’d give it a try! I spent hours writing that story! C’mon Bon Bon! Join the crowd of hummies! Join us! Join us!” "Gyeah! Fine! I won't back out of the deal but let me go! You'll mess up my mane!" "Oops!" said Lyra before letting go of Bon Bon." Free from Lyra's hold, Bon Bon went over to the mirror and began to check her mane as Lyra smiled knowing that she had kept the deal the two had made last night from falling apart. When Bon Bon was satisfied that her mane was not disheveled, the old grandfather clock coming from the living room chimed as the newest hour came about. Bon Bon turned to the sound of the clock with an annoyed look on her face before turning back to Lyra and said, "Ugh! I'm late for opening the store! Now I'm going to have a bunch of parents complaining about how they have to have their candy now! Look, I've got to go but I haven't forgotten about the deal we made last night. Try not to go crazy about your fandom and try to get a new gig for yourself? We need the money!" "Well, when I win the contest tonight our money troubles will be solved!" exclaimed Lyra as she jumped in the air with a smile in her face. "Win the contest, bring others into the crowd, spread the human fandom, and get paid for it....so bucking awesome!" "Well for a few weeks at least. So you got your costume ready?" asked Bon Bon. Lyra's happy attitude was quickly replaced with the realization that he costume was not even close to being ready, but hadn't been started yet. She would have to get to Rarity's Boutique real fast as no doubt there would be others with the same dilemma, not to mention give away a very valuable Sapphire. If she knew Rarity as well as she thought she did, then the gem would do the trick. "Umm.....yeah...in a way." said Lyra with a nervous look. Bon Bon immediately saw right through Lyra and knew her best friend was lying. With a slight scowl on her face, Bon Bon looked at Lyra and said, "Lyyyrrra....you DO have your costume ready right? You can't win the contest if you don't even have one!" Lowering her ears and giving off a nervous laugh, Lyra responded, "Technically no, but....when Rarity sees this..." Using her magic, the expertly cut and high Karat Sapphire was levitated up to Bon Bon's face, effectively washing away the scowl to a look of amazement. "I know she'll make me one right on the spot. She's got a soft spot for the Sapphires." "Lyra...that's your lucky Sapphire, you've had that for a long time, and it's always been amazing to stare at for hours. Why don't you just sell it instead?" Setting the sapphire down on her, Lyra shook her head in disapproval at the suggestion. "Not going to happen because I stink at haggling, and the guy at the jewelry store knows it. I'd get cheated out of the gem real fast. Secondly, the payout from the contest is much more profitable then selling the thing and it's more fun too! Also, if I give this gem to Rarity, I know for fact that the costume will be top notch and definitely reusable. My fellow hummies will also go crazy for it too, which means I'll be the top dog of the fandom!" Lyra did her best to prevent herself from squealing like a little filly but just couldn't contain her excitement as she jumped up and down in excitement. Bon Bon facehoofed while saying, "Lyra...sometimes I wonder if you've ever grown up." Looking at her best friend, Lyra stuck her tongue out at Bon Bon before saying, "And sometimes I wonder why your such a buzz kill! Besides it's Nightmare Night or it will be tonight! When you get off work come see me in the contest and have some fun! I promise to hold my end of the bargain if you do too, unless you're backing out..." "Nope, I'm not backing out at all. I made a deal and I'm sticking to it. I want to make sure that my best friend has a healthy and happy life, and won't be a recluse. I know you disagree with me about the fandom, it's just I don't want it to consume you that's all. And if I have to give your hobby a try to do that then I will." Lyra began to tear up at her best friend's concern and care for her knowing that she could always count on Bon Bon to back her up. Lyra ran to hug Bon Bon and cried, "Thank you Bon Bon! You're my best friend forever!" Bon Bon returned the hug for getting tear eyed as well. They hugged each other for a few more seconds before letting go, both wiping tears away from their eyes. "You too Lyra, I will give it a try, I promise, and I hope you win and have fun. Celestia knows I could use some fun later tonight. Today is going to be very busy for me." said Bon Bon as she wiped away her tears for good. "Yeah, plus I still wish a real human would pop up because that would be so cool!" Bon Bon narrowed her eyes and said, "You know that's not going to happen Lyra, and if it does, then I will still go up to it and call myself a big poopie plot head." "Well on the off chance one does show up, and I hope one does, I'm never going to let it down. You have to join the crowd. It would be so awesome if it was the man from my dreams..." The thought of the Human Zombie killer from Lyra's dreams caused her to imagine him carrying her in front of the entire audience, shouting to the world that he was a man and that Lyra was his mare. "Such an awesome thing that would be! I'd be so happy if that were to happen." A hoof began to wave in front of Lyra's face snapping her out of her daydream as Bon Bon said, "Equestria to Lyra, you need to lay off the wish fulfillment hopes and get to work on your costume if you're going to win it." Blushing, Lyra shook her head in agreement before realizing that Bon Bon was still running late. "Speaking of work, shouldn't yo have opened the shop already?" asked Lyra. Bon Bon's eyes widened as she exclaimed, "Oh horseapples! Got to go, see you later and don't forget the breakfast I made!" Bon Bon ran out of the room in a blur impressing Lyra at her friend's speed. Lyra heard the door open and close from the living room giving the tall tale sign that she was alone. Seeing the sun beginning to rise up from her window, Lyra smiled as she used her magic to pick up her own saddle bag, and began to fill it with her human costume sketch, her Sapphire, and her Lyre. "After getting the costume commission set up, it wouldn't hurt to take a crack back at my music. Tonight's going to be awesome! But...if he were to show up...I can only dream though." After a small bout of sadness at the impossibility of not seeing a human nor her dream human for that matter, Lyra smiled knowing that her hobby was hers and the joy it brought her would always be there in her heart. "And nopony can ever take that away. Haters gonna hate, and I don't care if ponies think I'm just hoping for some wish fulfillment! They can complain all they want to, I'm not getting rid of my dreams and fantasies!" After getting everything she needed for the day, including a few bits for a nice lunch at the local cafe, Lyra happily trotted out of her room to get some delicious oatmeal with sugar. Today was going to be an awesome day for Lyra and the night would be even better.